Preparing for a reality TV show appearance, Nikki wonders if it is worth it to spend money on glam that washes off at the end of the day. After an eventful weekend in Las Vegas, she is inspired to make a couple of changes. One was inspired by a pizza place she couldn't get enough of, another from performing with rock n' roll icons at Keep Memory Alive charity event and the last was inspired by her friend Bill Maher who also happened to be in town. Nikki has a hot take on Tiger Woods apologizing for a bad prank, she likes being a little pervert, she will never get a quaker parrot and her and Anya review some of the latest documentaries they are watching. Nikki goes through the subReddits she follows. In the Final Thought they discuss why some comedies don't hold up today.
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The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am Sniki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to the show. I am um coming to you from Los Angeles, California. Noah is here, Anya's here. I'm in LA for a little bit. I'm shooting a reality show that people know and love tomorrow an episode of that. I'm like going a guest star on it. Um. I'll give you details when I can talk about it, but it's very fun. Um. I'm kind of wondering, like, do I if I get hair and makeup done? It's seven hundred fifty dollars for a makeup person, five hundred five hundred for a hair person. I'm not getting paid because I'm thinking I'm getting paid like maybe exactly that to do the show. Do I just wing it and do it myself? Because I think I can. But it's like a Netflix show, this reality show. Everyone on the show is really pretty and looks like so beautiful. So part of me is like I should have it professionally done, but I also yeah, so only because I have access to your calendar and I know what show it is. I feel like there's a lot of makeup on it, and I like the way you do wild makeup ye drag race target Yeah, yeah, it's not drag race. I couldn't, but it's it's a show. Um yeah, it's probably just as much. Um. Yeah, it's very glam Probably get someone. Um yeah, treat myself. Okay, treat the show really because I'm paying to do the show. Then this is what that is. But you know what, this is what you do in this biz. Um, and it'll be fun. Yeah. I don't want to look like the ragamuffin of the group. And it's fun too. It's like this is part of what's fun about being famous and rich as you get to spend money on looking good and but seven hundred fifty dollars for someone to do your makeup that washes off that night. Yes, but you're on a reality show. I think this is your challenge for this year is really leaning into accepting yourself. You know your mantra, what is it? I love and accept myself? Um, I approve of myself. I approve of myself. I mean that would be I don't need to wear makeup on this show because I'm beautiful the way I am. I am going myself spending money on a makeup artist. Yeah, it's but it's tricky because it's I do think it's a listen. They have to charge that much because these makeup artists have agents who take a big cut, like everyone's getting a piece like it, and my friend who does my makeup deserves that much money. But sometimes I like to get a little wet and wild and maybe yeah, I get into my own stuff and I go like, I did my makeup this weekend for this UM the rock show I did with Sammy Hagar, Alice Cooper, Rick Springfield, Kevin Croton from Mario Speedwagon, Sam Moore McDonald, John Mayer, UM. But I did my makeup for that event and I walked in and some girl was like, oh my god, you look amazing, because I went to rehearsal and I looked like hell. And then everyone I came back and everyone's like, whoa, you clean up and I'll get to just put on a tiny dress and kneehigh boots and people go like, oh my god. But this girl was like you did that. She was like you're good. So my only problem is I still suffer with lashes. My lashes like because if the glue gets a little like if the lash pulls a little bit like it lands on a way it can pull it. It's so strong it can pull your eyelid to like look a little like more open than the other one. Is that okay? So sometimes like I that's not even funny because you're so on the money. I was doing it this weekend. I go, I should come up with a type of eyelid glue for if you want to make a part of your eyeball bigger to show more eye because people always trying to show more eyeball or less eyeball, like it's all about and makeup gives you a u of Oh, I want makeup that makes my eyes look bigger. I want makeup that makes like eyeshadow always makes me look older I feel. And so now I'm getting off the eyeshadow train. But it was such a big deal forever, Like you can't not wear eyeshadow. I should have just like a lash person that you can bring him, like you like a Nascar where they just bring somebody in at the end. Just yeah, might show up and go I might just talk to my producer friend, who is the reason I'm doing this show, and say, can I just like borrow your lady's makeup? Girl for a touch up, because that's what you do. You set the foundation and then you go for a touch up, and then when you get there, they really just do your whole face over. And like, here's what you do. Pay for though, because you do perfect professional makeup already, because you've been doing it for years, you know how to do it. Do a hair person just higher because the hair is the hair is the key part. You're right, You're not wrong because you don't want to be like, oh my god, look at all my flyaways ahead and I go to dry bar down the street because my hair is pretty simple to do, like it, I like a blowout, like a soft curl. I do it myself, and it's not as good as when they do it, but like I feel like a dry bar person could do it instead of paying five hundred dollars. No offense to Christina, who I love, who does my hair. I just don't feel like spending money when I'm not making any I'm tired of it. Even though this weekend was amazing. It was a charity show, like and I got flown out and I got put up very nice things. It's been like I made some passive income. I'm listen to me becoming like a greedy person. I'm like, I want to make money when I'm not doing anything, Like I look at my schedule. I go unless I'm doing something, I'm not making money. And I want some of that that pi that people got. I I saw there in Vegas this weekend. I became obsessed with this pizza place called Piology where it's like chipotleate for pizza, you like, pick the topics you want. And I was obsessed with it. I told Chris, I was like, I want to, you know, study marine piology. I want to go back to school. I want to work with putting seaweed on pizza. Like we were. I was. It was really funny all weekend, Like I would just like slowly start walking over to pile Alogy, or we would be walking by it and I would just stop and stare at it and just go like and like get like tears in my eyes. And we were joking on weekend because and I was like, I want to open a franchise of Piology. And he was like, that's a way to make some passive income. So what's your favorite dish? They're just scraping stuff off the top, No, I ate the whole thing, because they like tell you how many calories and like what is inside the crust. So you pick a crust, and you can pick like a gluten free one, vegan, cauliflower regular, and then but they give you like the countdown of like what you're going to get in a crust. And so as long as I know it's in a crust, I'm down to eat the crust, even though I love eating the toppings off a pizza and I will never not do that. And I think it's a totally normal way if you're avoiding carbs to do that extra sauce. Art chokes peppers, but they were putting too much when you make a veggie pizza and you don't have a lot of cheese, and like I think things can't be wet, so like roast of peppers are always in that gooey wet stuff. So I if I trained at my piology, I was training them to like sive out the water and make them dryer. And then mushrooms red peppers um, which I found out in Australia they call it capsicum, so red capsicum um, which I love the word capsicum so much more than pepper. And then um, I would do the spinach, vegan cheese, and banana peppers. What else did I like? But I would add broccoli to our venue. I would add a cauliflower. I would add like more eggplant stuff. But that was my order this weekend. It was so freaking good. Umerus caps it comes. Yes. I don't want them to be cuciferous though, is that the word? I don't want them to beat with cerus or just cauliflower and broccoli, right anything? Farty? Oh you want to talk about farty? I got fucking prescribed these. They're called fontest Oh god, they are dry dry mouth laws lozenges. And it looks like it's a fartest, but it's fonteste fo n t us and therefore just like wetting your like keeping your mouth wet and like and for like just sore throat. And they were recommended by Christin Chenowith on this bloggeraid, you know the best singer ever, Christian Chennewith. She um was like, I'm addicted to these. I did them all the time, and so I got them and I love them. But you cannot eat more than four and your body turns into like when I used to chew a lot of gum and like sugar free gum. I was. I was toxic. My body was completely constantly dealing with some kind of like thing it had to get rid of because of fake sugar. And these have something fake in them because it's it's over here. Yeah, yeah, it's really great. Yeah, but I guess I lizo zem. Maybe that's it. What's in these sorbital? That's it sorbital. It's a fake sugar. It's gotta be because they're ten galories of pieces. Do you think they're just like taste really good. These are green apple. They just taste good and they do make your mouth feel like, um, we have Manuka honey, so they're like kind of honey fee feel like they're delicious. They just make your mouth so wet. They make it like slimy, not wet. Okay, So maybe I mean that's honestly, I'm so sick of having that does not respond to my body when it needs to. Um. Yeah, I put a gummy warm in there. It's a well documented story from picking up a boyfriend at the airport and I knew it was gonna finger me, so I put his favorite candy inside. It's hilarious. It's my I love doing gross jokes like, UM, this weekend there was um, we checked in the hotel in Vegas and there was this like mural on the wall. Like it's like a sexy mural of a girl with like almost like um, what are the garter belt kind of thing and she's like sexy. It was just her torso and um, but it was on the wall and it was kind of aggressive, of like you know some of these hotels you check into and they're like you're gonna fuck here if you don't pussy, like, you don't get this hotel room unless you're gonna really like get into some shit. Because it was Vegas, So let me just show you what I did. So and I just air dropped this to Chris when he was like, we had there was an upstairs to our hotel room was the nicest place at the MGM Grand Where is this scam damn picture? Oh? Here is Oh? I took a million of them? Did we stay there once? When you end that sweet and then look like I was going down on her? So I just like started licking this wall and send it to him, so it looked like I was like going down on this girl. I mean literally there's like a hundred of these because I was trying to get the right angle. Look at now I'm trying to grab her tit. So I'm always doing like childish um sex pranks and fun all the time. I'm always just like I'm gonna get your dick, like I'm gonna get it, and he'll be like stop it. I'm like I'm gonna get it, and I just like I'm always like in the covers, I'll just like slowly sneak my hand and like a little snake that's going through and then I'll just like grab it. Not in a hurtful way, like I know how to not hurt him, but um, it's so fun. I'm a little I like being a little prank p Yeah, well looked real. Oh thank you. Yeah. I mean I eventually got there with the holding doing a selfie style. But the show this weekend was crazy. I mean I just did five minutes of comedy. It was a event for Keep Memory Alive, which is to fight like to pretty much. It's the one charity that finances the lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health at the Cleveland Clinic. And this guy I met, the guy that made this clinic and he named it after his dad, lou Ruvo, who died of Alzheimer's. Anyway, they did this huge benefit and he's been going on twenty six years. I think this is the twenty six year. And they always have like a big concert and in one night, in one room they do a silent auction and then they do a loud auction, I guess. And they raised like thirty million dollars in a night with the people that are here. These are the most rich people in Las Vegas, and a lot of people fly in for it. They were auctioning off yacht trips around the world m for like you and twenty of your friends. I'm like, who has twenty friends? I guess rich people probably had. There's like not a deficit of friends when you have that much money. Um watches uh tennis lessons with Andre Agassi and stephie Graff, Um dinner with Wolfgang Puck at his house with his wife, and then seven of your friends and with world class entertainment during it. So he's gonna have like someone performed during like all these crazy things to bid on. But before the auction was this dinner that was delicious and I was seated at a table with Michael McDonald and his family, and then Sam Moore, who's like this blues soul legend, yeah legend. He was in a wheelchair. He's like in his nineties. He's like so no, maybe maybe he's eighties, late eighties, but he was um and his daughter and like it was just like cool. Michael McDonald is his man, Michael McDonald from the Dubie Brothers who sings like this, and Chris and I are sitting next to this in this table and then I do um five minutes of comedy after the dinner, and I begged them to have like someone bring me up. So they had this guy come out for literally like two seconds to just be like everyone quiet down, okay this next comedian. I'm like what? And so I go out to kind of a rowdy room and I had five minutes to get them to shut up and listen and it was great. And then I left the stage and then I just went back to my table and got to enjoy the best show. So it was like, um, you know, and then oh I did I forgot to say Chad Kroger from Nickelback, who is amazing who I met the day before, because I got into Vegas the day before and ran into him. As soon as they brought me in this back way. I thought I was just gonna go to like the lobby and like have to check in and all this stuff. They bring me in this back way, they get me everything, and then they just lead me up with Chad Kroger's right there and his girlfriend who was like, Oh my god, I love you and she was like, I'm got a stalker and I'm like, oh, that's so nice. And then I was like, oh, it's you hide and then he's so nice, so cool, so funny. UM loved him, and Alice Cooper was so freaking nice. I met him at the rehearsal because we all got the end we're singing taking It to the Street um together, and so at the rehearsal I met him and Alice Cooper, who was really nice and was familiar with me and told me he has a sister named Nicki, but she spells at nic k i E and that was I've never heard that spelling before actually, so that was actually kind of interesting. And then um, Michael McDonald is actually was high school friends with my He's from Saint Louis. He's high school friends with my voice teacher, Michael. So, how old is your voice teacher? Sixty something? Oh wow, sixties. Yeah, but he's pretty spry. I'm like kind of surprised he's that old. Um, and he actually might be coming to see us in Bloomington this week, and so I'm excited for you to meet him. But um, yeah, I'm trying to think of other things. It was just me. Yeah, that was just it was weird. It was right before we walked on stage age when she was like, I love you, and she hugged me and was like, hugged me really hard. She was like, I just think you were so great. I was like, oh my god, Paula. And then we just like saying next to each other and then it was time to go. But I didn't get any pictures with anyone. I kind of was just like not even thinking to do that. I knew that there it would be well documented, so I wasn't like I wish I would have maybe gotten more selfies with someone like the legends like Michael McDonald And what were you chatting with people about? Like what was the dinner conversation? Like, um, well, I was sitting next to Michael McDonald's manager, Paul I believe his name was, and that he was interesting because he was talking about all the musicians he manages, Emmy, Lou Harris and this new guy out of Austin. Then he told me to look up for that. I forget his name. Who else kings of leon Like he's a big deal and started out in the record business. So I just ever after watching that Geffen documentary, I'm kind of I guess just I'm interested in how the music business works and how people and the Elvis movie. I know this is like why wouldn't you even be interested in before? There's something about it now that I'm like, I want to know how you got to managing musicians, like and even listening to Rick Um what's his names? No, he's the producer Rubin Ruben talk about Yeah, Rick Rubin, who has no musical talent, talking about like his and how important he's been in music. Like, I think that it's interesting to get to talk to people who aren't singers or musicians at all and like what their impacted in how they got into music. And then it was nice because he was like, well, when you're ready, I'm waiting for you, Like, so now I have someone to like give my demos if I ever want to do that. Because he was really nice and like really encouraging and um was cool. And they represent some comedians too, so he's he's savvy with comedy. He was really nice though, and and yeah it was just and then h And it was nice because the night before I got into town, I look at the I'm just like on Instagram and they must have known where I was and where I was going, because all of a sudden was like Bill Maher at the MGM Grand and I'm like, I'm staying there, you're here, And so I text him so I get to go to his show, which was awesome and really like me up about some stuff like all this weekend I've been having like kind of Bill Marsh Like I've been like anti woke all weekend and I've been like just more like fuck PC and like just say what's true like these I need. I need guys that are so far out like that to sometimes jolt me into the right way of thinking. Like this weekend, I just like I don't know, I've had no tolerance for people's feelings, which I you know, I do love feelings, and I do, but I do hate this new thing of like the you know, which is not the new thing. We've all called it out, but haven't. Your personality is being offended about something. It's just I don't care if I hurt those people's feelings. I used to say I care about I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I don't care if I hurt your feelings because you're not really You're feelings aren't hurt. That's not what's going on there. And I think I had that misconstrued with like, well, you might not agree with their feelings being hurt, and they might, you know, And I do have empathy for them, because if you have nothing else going on for you except to get offended at a vagina joke or whatever, the fuck, your life must be like so sad and that I do feel bad for you, and I don't mean to make your life worse, but I think I make your life better because you're getting excited about how much you hate something. So I actually think I'm contributing. So this weekend, though right after like my show was great, my five minutes set like, which is not ideal to do that little of time in a cold room. It went amazing and amazingly I did. It was so funny. I was just telling Matt because we did an interview. Me and Matt just did an interview for Spin together, and he was talking to me about stuff, and I was like, I wrote to Anya this weekend to remind me of like what bits to do for this set I had, because she watches my show like every night and so does Matt, and she's sent me this list. It was like pedophiles, crowd interaction involving wheelchairs, like this is that's five minutes and it's cool that most people don't probably don't know comedy is even happening in this room. She's like the story about John Body Ramsey murder. I'm like, I can't. It was so cute. I loved I love the list of it because it was it made me realize how un able I am to do so many of my jokes like in that amount of time, which is fine and is the way it should be. But I just stuck to like the I pretty much was like, um, oh, we ate this, like we ate this delicious vegan starter which were these like beat cakes wolf all right. It was the people who do Crossroads in LA. It's one of my favorite vegan restaurants. And this this beat cake that was so good, and so I go, how we had just eaten dinner and I'm walking out stage and I go, how good were those damn beat cakes? I was like, if you ate the beat cake tomorrow, your peat tonight or tomorrow, your peat is going to be pink or reddish, You're not dying. You ate beats people, because it was in the dark, and it was valuable to know because everyone in that room was old. Everyone there it's not yes. And then so and then um who gave me the tag Kevin Neilan, who I saw later on, gave me the tag of like, and you should have said and if you'r and if your shit is diarrhea, it's because you ate that like and then just say something else, like about some gross part of the food. It's because you ate the and the make fun of something. So I wish I would have done that, but I started out that way. So I called out something that everyone had experienced the room. And then Kevin was the Kevin was working at them, so Bill was at the theater there, I was at the MGM Grand which is where they have like you know, boxing matches and you have c fights and Joe Rogan sells it out. It's like I was backstage, it's like Billy Joel, Paul McCartney, like it was so like but they had closed off like it was a fourth of it used, but it was this huge stage. It was so cool. Um And so yeah, Bill Maherr was at MGM Grand. Inside the MGM Grand is the Brad Garrett Comedy Club. Kevin Neilan was there, so I went to see Bill maher that night. Hung out with Bill backstage age. I fucking love Bill so much. I love him so much. It was so fun. He's just such a he's so different than he is on his show, Like he's just a dear friend. I love him. Good hang And then after that they were going to strip club. So then I was like, now I'm too tired. And then I was texting with Kevin. I was like, just like, let's meet in this little like lounge area and we just sat down and meet him and Chris hung out and then got to hang out with Kevin a bunch and just talk about you know, Chris is producing the Sandler Special, so we talked to him about like s and l stories. It was just so fun. And then the next night I had the big show and then we had you know, lunch with Kevin, and then afterwards we also hung out with Kevin again. Like it was just a really good weekend of hangs with friends. And then but I want to tell you the thing that the hot take I have after doing this that was inspired I think by Bill Maher. It might be a little harsh, but I have a take on something in the news that I want to give and you're gonna hear it here first, So stay with us. We'll be right back. So did you guys see the Tiger Woods thing or hear about it a couple of years ago? Under No, this week, what happened? No, he got in trouble. He like had to apologize already because he over the weekend. I guess he hit a shot and then like a newer, like young promising golfer hit a shot and it was either it was before him or after him, but the Tiger hit like ten yards further. Okay, Then this guy and Tiger came up to him and and this was caught on camera. Tiger like went up to like shake his hand and the guy puts out his hand and Tiger puts a tampon in his hand to be like, did you see this? I heard about it. I was so confused by it. Why did he put a tampon in there? Like, okay, why do you think because he's a little bit oh to dry his hand out because it was huggy. Oh my god, are we just having football? What's happening to imply like you hit like a girl? Yeah, he's a little bit yeah, yeah, okay. First of all, I saw it and I thought that's kind of funny. First of all, it's funny because Tiger had to find a tampon keep it in his pocket all day, Like there's not tampons like around like everything premeditated tampon, meaning before the match, he knew he was going to hand this off. Yes, um, he had to find a tampon, which is hilarious. And then he had to like just the guy, just the act of like the guy being like Tiger Woods is his kid's hero. I'm guessing whoever he did it. I don't know the age of difference, but Tiger is definitely one of the older golfers. Now, this guy is a being approached by Tiger. He's playing against him, so he's probably like used to it. But there's a little bit of like Tiger's gonna shake my hand, you know, like yes, and then a tampon's in it. That's funny. Now everyone's upset because this is discouraging women. This is saying that women are or like, oh my god, that's an insult to dry like a woman. Drive as a hit a ball, drive right, or drive a car like a woman. We're bad at that too, but how insulting. My take is that we do drive worse than men, not drive cars. We cannot hit balls as far as men. If you look at the statistics, women are weaker golfers in terms of distance. Okay, that's just the way it is. Let me just pull up this fact. The average distance for men who are on the PGA is to hit with a driver is two hundred and eighty nine to three hundred and twenty three feet. The average distance for women in the LPGA is two hundred and forty six to two hundred and fifty eight feet. So the furthest we could possibly hit it on average is not is still thirty yards short of a man. So Tiger saying this guy hits like a girl. He doesn't hit like a girl. He actually hits better than a girl. Like it's he was wrong even in that girls could Girls would love to be able to hit ten yards short of or whatever, ten feet. I don't even know what the measurement is. My point is like, what's so bad? I know that it was negative connotation of like, oh, it's bad to be a girl. Women are worse at sports than men. That's why people watch less women's sports. It's true. It's like the Bill Birr thing of like if you like the if you love women's basketball so much, name one fucking team women? Where why aren't women watching it? It's just we we all? So, I just I don't get what this is discouraging women? How about what you'll how about look at the stats of how far you could drive if you work your harness as a woman and know that it will never be as close to a man. Does that discourage women? Like that? No? Or maybe I have a question for you because when I first saw as Bill Burr Special and I was like, I love this one part and you were like I hate that argument. Though I want to hear what your argument then was that I never hated that argument. Well, you were like, it's such a it doesn't have weight what he's trying to prove, And and I know other people that have said that too, So do you remember what you meant at the time, because you were like, because he says women watch the Kardashians, that's where they put their focus and energy rather than I always loved this joke. I don't remember ever hating this or disagreeing with this joke, because it is true. It's I don't remember not saying it doesn't have weight, but maybe I did. But you were like, it's a fallacious argument. And other people have told me that too, that they're like the premise is weak, that like, oh, well, the reason women don't make as much as in the w NBA's because you guys aren't buying tickets. It's like that doesn't take into account the patriarchy, like the much bigger system. That's flawed, right, And but this is why, like Bill Burr is because it doesn't it's not about feelings. It's I get that women's feelings are hurt by being connotated with Tampon's equal girl girl equals bad at sports, but we are worse at sports than men, so you can't. That's why I like Bill Burr. You can have your feelings hurt by this all you want, but it's true. And I was talking to Mad about it just now, and I'm like, I think that's why I don't like sports is because I was never gonna be better than men, and I want to be able to compete against men at the same level. Out Yeah, comedy, there's no I can drive just as far as a man can't. I mean, the world is stacked against me in a way that hinders it a little bit, because I do believe that women are socialized to be less funny than men. They are encouraged to be less funny. They're not the class clowns, they're you know, all of that. So I I understand why people got upset about this. I'm not playing dumb like oh that that he's implying girls are bad at sports, but they are compared to men. That's why we don't compete against them at the same level because we would get smashed. So it's like he's and let me argue this. There was all this thing of like Tiger Woods should he is the father of a daughter, which leave that fucking thing at when people say, as the father of a daughter, why don't you just care about women before you have a daughter? How about that you shouldn't care more about women because you have a daughter. Shut up, you should just care about women. But everyone's so selfish that unless it's your thing, you don't care about it. So that's another argument. But also he was doing this as a private joke. It was just one guy to another guy being like immature college level frat humor. That because that's where he stunted. He stopped socializing at the age of seven and started he's he's stunted. Of course he's gonna make dumb jokes like this. I'm sure he left at the words boobies. I mean, I'm still I'm sure he still says boobies Tiger Woods because he wasn't socialized because he grew up on a golf course where his dad was fucking you know, you know, prostitutes on the green next to him. What I'm saying is that it was a private joke between two men that was locker room talk type thing, which I'm not excusing that because Chris last night I was giving him this argument He goes, well, you're you're acting like it's like locker room talk. We should let it go, and he goes, that would be like the Trump locker room talking. I go, Trump was grabbing, was ragging about grabbing a woman by the pussy without consent. That is different than palming a guy a tampon and implying that he hits like a girl. And Tiger wasn't wanting this to go. He wasn't trying, he wasn't doing a comedy special based upon me palming. He wasn't trying to get this out of the ether to know it was guess who did that? The fucking media. So if you want to blame anyone for making women feel like they can't get into golf because they'll be made fun of, blame the media for letting us know about this intimate moment that happened, and and writing all the thing pieces about it and making him apologize like he shouldn't apologize. Yes, of course he did. This guy is scared to death of anything else that will do what he has PTSD. I'm sure from what happened to him originally. But I just this idea that men and women are equal at sports but it also goes to what you were saying earlier about not wanting to hurt anyone, you know, like changing your perspective on I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I'm not going to say or do something. This wasn't intended for everyone. This was just between Tiger and this other guy, and your feelings might get hurt. As a young girl who would want to play golf and someone applied it was period just started this week, and I'm like, oh, I'm using tampons, and he made it seem like if you use tampons, you're a bad golf like it might maybe it would, it would hurt my feelings and discourage me from golfing, But I don't think that many women are being discouraged this week from pursuing to show him like hey, I could you know, be the best at my league or this, Like he has to apologize now, and like, I just it's just so do you think it's K? I think the joke was K, even though at first I was like, it's kind of funny, but just picturing him like getting a tampon is hilarious. Where do you think it procuring one like I bet he like asked his assistant to go get one, and I bet he just went to the women's restroom and like grab or like had someone got a woman to go in the women's restroom and grab them, because I'm guessing at these country clubs, they like have tampons everywhere, like in the dressing rooms are fully decked out, even though women weren't allowed there to like nineteen eighty six or something. But um and they're still working on getting black women able to go in. But we'll get there. Um No. I've always had a problem with like like and these people are like everyone's just such a moralist and like, you know, tiptoeing around people's feelings while they're consuming things that were made by children, you know in foreign countries where they're they watch porn. Everyone who's a goddamn moralist and pointing a finger like it's they're doing something corrupt. Everyone as a fucking hypocrite, including myself. When I get hurt about things, it's always I always find a win in which I'm doing the exact same thing and wanting to get away with it. All the men that say, as the father of a daughter, that's the biggest red flag for a guy that's doing some creepy stuff. I didn't know not to rape until I brought a life in this world that had a vagina. I didn't know that you shouldn't rape people like yass. Oh my god. Speaking of Seven Wives, I just got into Keep Sweet, Prey and Obey. Oh Jeff's documentary that was on that talk about it. I'm about that was that was. I mean those hairstyles weekend. That is a pressing women. I know those hairstyles what took hours and the men made them wear it like as they all look like um yeah, like in the background in the back of them, they look like yeah, it's it's like a strange wave. Once Nikki did it to imitate Taylor Swift's bangs. If he did that Taylor Swift bang, but up it's like a buffont kind of like amish. Yeah. And then they in the back of these intricate braids, which would make them they would have to work on their here for hours a day, and it was always just to like control women. You have to wear it like this. Now you have to wear long John's and like this this guy Warren Jeffs, I thought I knew about what happened down there in Texas when there was a raid. I kind of saw stuff. But it's way more interesting than you think and disturbing and he's still in control. Spoiler alert, so it's really fucked up. Before Reddit dump, can we play the video? Because I've been thinking about getting a pet recently. I've like I'm looking at dogs while I'm out here test driving some you know, broken animals. I want an old dog that's small, that can travel, and that's just kind of like I want to marry in pretty much that just like is easygoing and no one else wants them because they're like kind of like ugly looking and they're small and they can travel and I can help, like, you know, we can be together for their last years of their life. Like I'm looking for a senior but it's a lot of asks, so I don't know if I'll find it. But what animal asks? Oh, and I want to dog with a lot of asks, So it's like Corgy a lot. I know I have Billy as a sex slave. Yeah, they get old, it gets That's what I'm I gotta realize, Like I gotta be ready to take this dog to the doctor a lot, like I'm signing up for like a lot of work, and that stresses me out because even if I think about having kids, I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to get them to lessons and like sign them up for vaccines and like I don't even know. Like that all stressed me out. I just would never be able to do it. I just know that I wouldn't be able to get them shuttle them to lessons and practices, and oh, I don't want to deal with their schedules. So I have to really wrap my head around like either getting an assistant to do this with my dog or like having because I want them to have the utmost care, obviously in their senior year. So I just got to be ready for all that it entails, and I don't. I don't know if I am. But I also know that every day that I don't have a little dog in my life is a day that a dog is out there that could have love that I'm not giving it love. And it's like I'm wasting time. That's so nice. You and my other best friend, China, you guys are both motivated by the same thing. China only adopts senior dogs. She's constantly like we lost her. She's always weeping and grieving and always spending six thousand dollars at the vet. But she's saved so many dogs lives. Yes, I don't the idea that a little dog that like his owner died or they were abandoned because the family moved ran out of money, that like just spends their their senior years as senior citizen dogs alone. It just breaks my heart. And I want a dog that's like and senior dogs. They like move slower, they don't need as much exercise. They're kind of just like they're they're down to be carried around all the time, and that's what I want. They love Florida, Yeah, and I go there a lot for shows. Yeah yeah, okay, So but I don't think I'm gonna get a bird. And it's so funny because I was looking into getting a Quaker parrot because they're the cutest. They're type of parrots. They have really fat and typebraids. Get a fundamentalist parrot, they turn their own butter um. They were persecuted for their religious beliefs in the early fourteen hundreds. I don't know what the please don't this is. We know nothing territory, but I wanted to get a quaker parrot because there's just an easy like if you want to get a parrot like not a parakeet cockatil and you want to ease up to like actual like parrot parrot, a quaker is a what I've been told a good option. There's lots of them in bird rescue that need home. So I was about to get a parrot, a quaker parrot at one point a couple of months ago. Didn't do it, and I'm almost glad I didn't because a couple besties sent this video and it's so funny and it really discouraged me. But I don't want to discourage people who are interested in bird rescue. I just don't have the life to devote to this. So just watch this. It's so it's so funny or listening about me. That is, when I was ten, my mom said I could pick out out any pet, and so I picked this bird without no wing that it can never die. Additionally, realize that quake per parrots were undomesticatable, which means they're vicious to everyone but me. And now I'm legal in the state of Colorado. Don't come for us. Anyway, if you're considering getting a bird, specifically a Quaker parrot, just don't. They're like, they're great. I'm gonna have this bird in my entire life. It's like my sibling. But they're terrible pets. Just get a fucking just get a fucking cat. She says she noticed. She said they're like a sibling, not like a like a son. Like She's just like, I don't want to my pet that feels like a sibling. I'll tell you that. How long do these fuckers live? Like thirty years? I think Quakers are just domestically like thirty years. And she seemed to be when she was ten. She said she got the birds, so I don't know it's gonna be. Yeah, she literally in her thirties, so the parrots got a little bit longer to go. No, My my voice teacher had a Amazon parrot in like the seventies that he just you know, was moving and had this big cage, couldn't take care of it. His friend was like, I'll have him. And his friend who he lost touch with, just got in touch with him on LinkedIn like five years ago, and he was like, Rodney is still alive. And then they put his voice on speakerphone and he was like Rodney, and the bird was going crazy, and he was like he's probably being like where does that motherfucker off find him? Because they're they want to kill you. Like a lot of birds, like they're not meant to be in cages, none of them. They're completely undomesticatable. Like that's we haven't gotten to that point yet. I think, you know, budgies are a little bit more like chill being you know, domesticated meaning owned by humans and told when to do. Slaves to humans. Is that what domesticated is essentially, is that like a nice word for like animals who are slaves. That's what I was going to ask is maybe you know the answer to this, why are their parrot rescues? Like why don't I just let them go? Because they can't they don't know how to fend for themselves. Yeah, And the only reason pair rescues exist are too the ideal a parrot rescue would love to not exist. They would love to never have people buy parrots ever again. But they only exist because people are breeding parrots. And the same with breeding dogs. It's like you don't need to breed anymore. We just we have enough dogs. Like, if you took all the parrots that are rescued, and you took them, let's say, to Peru or wherever they're supposed to be somewhere in the tropics and you know, someplace livable, would they not be able to survive there? I don't think so, no, because that would be obviously the solution. Yeah, they're they lived in cages for decades, you know, these birds, And I think that and yet another thing. Yeah, and you know what, they're continuing to do it. There's there's a man right now somewhere in a rainforest stealing eggs out of a mast to sell on the black market. I mean, it happens all the time. You see those videos of people getting stopped at the border and they have a bunch of birds in their belt, like little birds that are like rolled up in little paper towels, and they're like, oh, yeah, it happens all the people. They're smuggling exotic animals all the time because rich people love to buy to own things that they can't take care of. It's just it's tragic. And yeah, so I'm not gonna get a Quaker parro at anytime soon. But let's do reddit dump and see what else we learned today. Karaoke mode. This is your reddit dump. This is from me I r L. And it's a tweet that says, imagine falling in love with Imagine falling in love with someone just to find out they watch Netflix with subtitles. And then someone replied to that and said, I'm convinced people who don't like subtitles can't read fast. What are your thoughts on both of these things? I don't. I don't don't have this discrimination because I just started using subtitle titles once in a while because I have trouble hearing stuff. Yeah, because of all the years blasting music, and so I don't mind them. I don't like it when I can hear. But also our system is weird because Matt has like these big speakers and there's like too much base echo. Yeah. So I'm just liked. I can't stand my tooth. I chip my tooth and I just keep looking at it, and I like, crazy, you chip it on a mango of I mean a fucking mango. Yeah, like a mango slice, like a drive. I was slicing it and I was thinking about how I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday, and I was scraping the mango and all my sins were getting stuck in my teeth, and then all of a sudden, my tooth was gone, chip, Oh well good, you get it fixed tomorrow. Tomorrow. I've looked like, um, it's weird how you look poor if you have a piece of your tooth. Yeah, it's like having green bubbles on your iPhone. Yeah. I like that there's a gap, like in the mild I feel like Madonna, a little Madonna, but in the middle. Yeah, you don't look poor the gap in them. As long as it's symmetrical. I'm like, I'm either Italian looking like you're a British singer. Yeah. Yeah, um. But anyway, I don't mind subtitles so much. If I can hear, I prefer them gone so I can focus on the acting. But yeah, I don't have like anger about it. I turned them off. Like last night, I was taking Chris through like my favorite Julia Louis Dreyfust moments in like Seinfeld and Veep, and we were just like he kind of like, lets me just go through and be like, oh now this clip, wait, hold on, she's so amazing in this, and I was noticing that the jokes were coming up before the dialogue or before her delivery, so it was bothering me, so I turned them. I would I go, I flicker in and off. I am on and off. But I like I like a subtitle because I like to know every I want to know everything. I don't want to miss anything, and I stay focus shows where you can miss a great joke because they're so fast, and then you can appreciate that way it can be rue. And because so much comedy is one hundred percent about surprise and not seeing it coming, and not one hundred percent, but I would say fifty percent about it. So if you watch comedy things with subtitles, you're not having the true experience I believe, So I would watch, I would definitely take them off. If you're someone who uses subtitles, I think you'll enjoy comedy things a lot more and you don't even realize that you're having it ruined for you by seeing it. But I do believe that people can't read fast, and that is a thing that like that and it makes me, you know, that slightly makes me feel superior because I feel like I'm a pretty fast reader. But I'm just fast at general. It's not because I'm smarter everything. Okay. So the person was mad at people that don't like subtitles because it means that they can't read fast. No, he wasn't mad at them. He's just like he's responding to this girl who's like if you have, like, imagine being in love with someone and then you find out that use subtitles, like she was judging people use subtitles, and he goes my thought as anyone who doesn't like subtitles just can't read fast. And so he was just you know, you know, getting back at our dissoner. Okay, And this is another tweet from me. I r L between me and real life. Why do people insist on surviving the apocalypse when you can just die? And I relate to that so much. I was talking to Chris last night about The Last of Us. We watched the new episode and I was like, so, you know, if there's this is a spoiler alert for the first episode, but like this guy is like very affected by his daughter's death. He didn't save his daughter in the first episode, Okay, and that's like the whole series is like his struggling with that. And I made the point last night to Chris that if I were him, I would kind of be glad my daughter didn't survive past that first day because life became hell or hell Fedra took over. They had to live in Quzi camps like it was bad life, So like, in a way, it was good she died. I would have been like, Dad, thank you. I know, I don't have to eat camps. First of all, died from someone shooting me as opposed to like a weird mushroom man showing on my neck, Like this is way better. So I'm like he, I feel like his daughter. They should have had his killed in the beginning by up by a mushroom man, because there's that would have been a more disturbing thing for him to recover from, even though losing your daughter is sad enough and I shouldn't make it worse. But um, I'm obsessed with the show. Obsessed with the show, love love, love everything about it. I am so into their relationship. This will they won't they? I'm just kidding this, Like, but I mean she didn't like drink alcohol the other night, and I'm like, oh, so that's gonna happen. Um, she's fourteen, so but I'm you know, she's nineteen in real life. Um, she's wearing a million sports bras, which you can see sometimes and scenes like you can see the outline of the top of the sports bras in her shirt, especially when she's getting your hair in the last episode, she's so Hilary swanking it. Yeah, because she's trying to be fourteen like so like, if you layer enough sports bras, it will be flat. But she's wearing a ton of sports bras. But she is incredible, and just I feel like I wish I would have had a influence like that. I think Harriet the Spot I was the closest thing I got to like that kind of precocious. I'm not stunning, Like I'm not like a stunning little child actor like John Bennet. Gorgeous, cool, scrappy, funny, loves comedy, kind of likes boys. Stuff like a good influence for young women. So I just love the show. And he is so fucking hot. I can't it's it feels again. It feels thankfully Chris is on board with how hot he is and I'm not like swooning like theo James levels of like I gotta be alone for this. But he is very the guy Joel in this Pedro. Yeah, he's he's hot, he's he's Um, he's such a good actor. Everyone in the show is a good actor. But um, just his love for this girl. But I like that. It's not like I'm not compelled by like a romance. There's no romance in this that's like getting me on board. Um. It's just such a good show and I think people should get into it. Okay, um uh oh Okay. So this is kind of a long one, but it's good. So this one was from made Me Smile, and I'll paraphrase it. This is the subreddit made me smile. Also at the end, I want to go over my subreddits because people have been asking me I just joined Reddit, and I want to know what subredate's joined. So I'll give some people sum at the end. But made me smile as a good one, this said Curb Your Enthusiasm director Robert B. Weedy, w e I d obituary for his wife. Okay, so he says, Linda Weedy, my remarkable wife. Will believed everybody's age was nobody's business. Let's just say she was ageless and timeless. She had a kind of elegance from another era. She started acting Da da Da Da da. She did all this stuff. Her bravery and dignity in the face of this illness were on inspiring, but unfortunately the house always wins. She died on Christmas Day, twenty twenty two, peacefully at home and in my arms. If you must die, tried to do it in the arms of someone who loves you. It helps, and he goes into her education. She lived for a time in Boston, then Manhattan, and at nineteen eighty nine she moved to Los Angeles. Thank God for the last move, because on September thirtieth, nineteen ninety four, I walked into Cafe Aroma in Studio City, which I know, and there she was. She had it all, beauty, style, grace, intelligence, wit and great a great laugh, a blinding smile and can I say this into twenty twenty three legs that demanded to be shown off and were that night, I wrote in my journal, I think I may be in big trouble. We were married on July eleventh, ninety eight. She was remarkably low maintenance. We both appreciated the occasional meal in a fine restaurant and traveling abroad. But some years I'd ask what she wanted for her birthday and she would answer a grilled cheese sandwich. Typical. She was generous to a fault, always putting others needs before her own. Her soft softest spot was reserved for animals, especially those in need. Okay, all their animals were rescued, but da da da da. She donated many charities. She understandably would become disenchanted with acting, but two memorable roles were that of Penelope in the two thousand and one stage revival of Kurt Vonneget's Happy Birthday Wanda June. And then she played the role of Mindy Riiser in Curb Enthusiasm episode The Terrorist Tacked and then he talks about then this is the part what a team we made. She was Gracie to my George. After we purchased side by side cemetery plots years ago, I asked her what she wanted her marker to say. She answered, I'm with stupid and rode in parentheses that request would not be honored. Oh dear, what am I ever supposed to do without her? They say? Nothing less forever, but they didn't know about my love for her. Twenty eight years wasn't nearly long enough. Still, I may be just the luckiest s ob who ever lived. Rest well, Bunny. I hope we'll be together again. For those Oh, this is the part for those who never knew her, I'm sorry for your loss. How good is that? For those who never knew her, I'm sorry for your loss as opposed to like, it's like we got something. It's not our loss. We knew her. It's so sweet and like if you just gotta have that's what you need is someone who thinks about you like that. Like, what a beautiful, um tribute. I just loved. I loved it so so so much. Um. Okay that is a sad one. Um god, damn it. Okay, this is a good one. I know you're crying. Does your vagina hurt? Oh yeah, oh my god, that's right. Vagina vaginal wink? Thanks to the best sea that wrote in about that. I thought I was alone in my weird So what is it? It's called a vaginal wink with the thing that I get, which is if anyone describes someone that I care about getting hurt or doing anything scary, or if I see them, I don't have to. It can happen with almost anything, but it's only talk about like a paper cut they got or something like that, maybe like in the last five years. And then it just feels like I'm on a roller coaster really quick, but a bad feeling almost like not good roller coaster. Yeah, one, you're not strapped one of the you know, decapitated a kid in twenty eleven in Kansas City. That one is probably the worst. Oh my god, Yes, what is everything bad? And treasury of morbid stories in my brain like this weekend the Murdock murders. I think on the Girls Chat Taylor reference the Murdock murders. There's a new documentary coming up. I don't I don't remember their last name. I should, but it is the crisliest crime ever. And I don't even want to watch a documentary because it's so sad. But look for that soon. Okay, here's um right before we go to break me I r L tip for newlyweds listening on you that ye send a wedding invite to every billionaire who's address you can find, because it's a fifty fifty chance their assistants just put you send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are? How many billionaires do I know? Or I just send it to any like and he's coming to the wedding. We have a friend who's married to a billionaire. He just gives me a grilled cheese sandwich. Okay, we gotta go a break more. We'll come back with more after this. Um yike, all right, we're back a couple more Reddit things. This is from life hacks, and this one is so good. Okay. It says after using and rinsing the plunger, which is like, yeah, the plunger. For some reason, the plunger sounded like the wood that they call the Brits call it or something the plonga, but that's what we call it. I don't know why. I was like, which is what we call the poopsucker is probably like a shovel like you probably is something. Yes, do you have the water shovel? Okay? Um, After using and rinsing the plunga, rest it under the seat to dry. Avoid dripping commode water. That's where they got me, commode avoid dripping toilet water on the floor. Okay, so look at what they're doing interesting. So you take the toilet seat and you put the handle between the toilet seat and the toilet the porcelain itself, and then it hangs in there and drips dry. And then because that is a disgusting thing when you use the brush or the plunger, and you kind of like knock it around to get it all off, and then you just take a chance to like quickly move it to its little home. Day goost. What do you say, day goost? Day day day goot. We we say dagoutte was disgusting in French and we shortened it to day goot. Me and my friends, Um, it's tred goot. If I can, I'll run, I'll run the plunger brush or whatever. It's not a plunger, it's a brush, that's oh we're talking about a plunger. I'll try to run it. Let me say it with yeah, yeah, say it all right. So if you go, if you're taken a big look like a chimney sweep with that fucking or couldn't I be like some of your mouth like cockney style so? Or couldn't I be a lady in white lotus Italy? Yeah? Oh yeah, like front desk, like like in Paris. No, it does look it can look chic, depending on what accent you give it or what angle the camera looks like. If you've taken a good big crap in the loop and you've got to get the toilet plunger of the brush, I'll just ask me dead, what do you guys do to do you knock it off? Do you let it sit? I run it under the bath, or I'll run it under the sink. But even on its way from the toilet to the bath, there's a chance a droplet might fall. If that happens, then I will Sometimes I'll take toilet paper under it to sort of like make sure I couldn't do it. Put it in a bag. Yeah, I put it in a bag because I don't just touched the floor. And then from the bag you put it like next because it has a little case next to the right, like, oh, that's the that's like a little plunger. I would put in a bag the brush and then you put the but then you put it in the bag like away in a closet or something. She burns it. Oh, yeah, the plunger doesn't stay next to the brush, is what goes in its little cubby. Yeah, goddamn it. Can you think of anything grosser than drinking something out of that cubby? Like putting in some liquid and then drink. I'm sorry, did that make your vagina a wink? If you just jumped off a building or did a bungee jump, it would. I noticed that rich people never have toilet blenders around, Like you just don't see it. It's not in the bed because are doing it. I have the help put their hands into the toilet thing. Um Okay, I think that's that's all I have for my reddits today. I need to save more, but I've been. Um, I've just been saving a lot of it. Like I have a lot of stuff saved that is just Oh, there's this one of this baby sloth being reunited with his mom, and I said, and I said it to the girl's tattoo. It's so good and so sweet, and like, I just hate all the noise that's happening around it. I don't think those two are gonna like survive long after this video is taken. Like I don't trust humans around these things. Like I'm like, stop reding your engines when there's like a baby, a traumatized baby and its mom next to each other. But you could see that video somewhere, I mean just google it. But um, yeah, I U. We have a girl's trip actually coming up that we're very excited about. And um, don't forget vacation before you get into that. Why don't share your sudddits. Okay, yes, that's a good point, think you know, for keeping me on track add today. Okay, If I were you, I would join Reddit and I would follow are you ready get out your pen and paper? Um, depending on what decade you grew up in, Uh, it's the nineties or eighties, like the nine zero or eight zero, s seventies, whatever it is. Um, I would say, age like milk is funny because those are things that like there was like people be making bold statements and then the opposite happened. An example of that would be, um, oh, it's like Andrew Tate saying this, you're a man. If the police forensically analyze your life, you've done something pretty much as Andrew Tait saying if if you're being investigated, you've done something wrong, and it aged like milk, because yes, okay, So then um, there's amateur room porn. That's just really nice rooms. Animals being bros, animals being jerks. Um, a normal day in Russia, and we'll just have some video of some bizarre shit happening in Russia that you're just like, what the fuck? Like a dog, like a guy walking his dog and his bear down the street and no one's making a big deal of it. Like that's normal day in Russia. Ask women, Ask redditum at bge which is awful taste but great execution. So it's like design things that are like, oh my god, that's so tacky, but it like obviously a lot of work went into it. Um. Then there's one the black people Twitter is always funny. It's not I don't even know it's there's not tweets about being black. It's just like the funny black people's tweets. Um, White people Twitter isn't that bad either, um, Ask women, ah aw ww, be amazed. That's just shows like crazy amazing things. Better every loop that'll be like a jif that just goes on repeat, and like any every time you watch it over and over, it gets better and funnier and weirder, And then people in the comments like argue, like why it gets funnier? Like this, the idea that this repeats it makes this video better, like, and people are really like, get this video off. It doesn't get better every loop. Like. People are very like staunch about what makes it books? Oh my god, I get so. I'm not even a voracious reader, but I get so many good recommendations on books because people are constantly asking questions like what book would I like if I like this stuff? Or like what or like, what are the best books you've ever read in your life? It's a good place to start for things like that. I've finished Spare, oh yeay, and by the Prince Harry. I've finished Spare by Prince Harry, and I get it what you're talking about. I cannot believe how much the royal family lied and threw him under the bus to have protect him. I can't believe all the stuff they went through. I mean, it's insane. He really exposes a lot of stuff, which I think that book was the only way he could get his true word out because they would sign, they would plagiarize documents that he made, supposed statements. He never made, ye say that it was from him. No, we don't. We don't know so much of what went on and if you have like a cursory understanding and you think you know, you just don't know. And I think you just need to read that book to fully understand that they were were victims. They didn't want any of this. They were trying to do good. Megan Markle is not a little like conniving bad person. You know, you all know my feelings. But I'm glad that you liked it, and thanks for reading it. On your final thought listening to Spare, was it good to like? How is his audio version? ASMR like such a soft force? Can I say so? Fall asleep to it? Yeah? Quick? So we were talking about captions before, and I wanted to let you know that I like captions because one they keep me focused and paying attention, and two I have to have captions because it's hard for me to understand British accents. So I would watch a lot of Horses, which is a great show. You absolutely have to have captions because there's so much weird slang you've never heard of. They're like plunge pa, I would it's constant, like the Welsh accent also is hard for me. Yeah, accents are hard. Um. The one show that really paid off for me was um, normal people remember that one? That one was really good? What other TV have you guys been watching that's been great? Anything we should wreck? I want? I can't wait for the New Succession to come out. I was just thinking that was into that show. Yeah, I would rewatch that whole thing and we'd watch all of Veep. I've been watching Jason Sudeikis. What is it called shrinking? Um? That's not Seagull? Yes? I have you watched how many episodes are out out? Because I watched the first two. I know that they're more, but I gotta get back into it because I did like the first two so far. Nice. If you like Ted Lasso, you'll like it. It's the same, it's so it's the same Bill Lawrence created it. It's the same vibe it said Lasso. For sure. It's heartwarming. It's funny. Um, it's funny though, because that show and The Last of Us are about like someone who has like a daughter that they're trying to like win over and like protect and like it's a lot there's a lot of daughter stuff going on and death looming, just like there's a death looming in that show. Oh yes, yes, yes, I'm guessing. I don't know about that part yet, but I'm guessing who it is. Um, you can follow jifts. You can follow Goodwill fines. That's a good one. Goodwill underscore fines. It's really good for Julie. Yeah. Yeah, and sometimes the center things. She's like, oh, I've seen that before, not a big deal. Um, you can follow Codependency Columbine Columbine Killers. Oh wait, don't do that. That's comedy Cemetery is like really lame comp like jokes that you know, aunts and uncles are posting on Facebook, just like where comedy goes to die is. It's like, you know, a little interruption. Yesterday we watched Okay, so I mean and I We've been going to this place called Bookman's and they have a lot of like used old DVD so we've just been buying a bunch of stuff, and we bought the movie Freddie Got Fingered. And I remember were like that movie being like the thing that everyone talked about, everyone quoted from it, and I watched I was like, this is so stupid. I just don't understand. Wait a second, no, I never saw it either. They so they changed it. Freddy gofffingered is with Tom Green. It's like I don't know from early two thy late nineties, yes, and I just like watching it today, I was just like, I don't this is this was comedy. That was a really bad movie, I think even then, and I think that it was going to be a cult classic and like people liked it for them. But it's that is the interesting thing about like movies like that, like things that you go back and you go even Chris has been saying, like, in preparation for his Adam Sandler show, he's been watching a lot of SNL clips and they have like a bunch of Australians on their team who are working on or like a guy a South African guy who didn't grow up with Sandler stuff. So he's trying to educate everyone who's working on this event like this is who Sandler was. So they're going back and watching you know what, we might as well put on this clip. It's all let's go for like watch SNL. And he told me, he's like, none of this is really hidden the way it did that I remember it did. It's all so long. He's like, and the things you remember as a kid being like that was the best. It was like one line from that sketch and the rest is like brutal. We were so deprived of entertainment at the time. But it's like, but even now, I mean, I look back at my old stand up and I'm like, that wouldn't like we have a large In some ways, I think the bar is so low. I mean, I saw a movie not too long ago that I wanted to walk out of the theater but I couldn't because I didn't want to get canceled because it was so comedically not giving me what I thought like. I was just I was insulted. It was like what Fox would give you for comedy on like, you know, it's like the mass singer levels of comedy. I thought, like, this is just like, you know, family style. It was just not like which is fine and that has a place like not everything needs to be like sharp cutting comedy. But I was just like, so sometimes I can be so disappointed and then I go see Adam Sandler live and I'm like, Okay, comedy is alive, and well like this is so fucking like nothing's funnier than this right now. But then also I just I've said it before. I just watch watching even some Chris and I are watching Seinfeld's again Seinfeld and Veep, Like Seinfeld holds up Veep, you can't. How can you make a comedy and compare it to those two things and be okay with yourself if it doesn't even come close. It just I don't even people's confidence in making movies. People that make movies and they like if they aren't as good. I understand being a novice at something and being like, it's not going to be as good as this I'm trying. But people who confidently put out things that are going to be tried in a court of public opinion on the same level. That's why HBO you can count on them. They're not fucking around on HBO. They're not letting in riff raff. They have they have taste, they have a level of that you say what you want about all the streamers, HBO has a level of taste comedically, I believe, and just with their quality of shows. They're they're spending the money, they're they're taking wide swings, but it's always quality and um and I just feel like and even I, you know, comedically take an easy way out when I could go you know, I don't do the hard work to get at the best joke, and I take I do a lesser version. But I don't know. I just um, Yeah, stuff doesn't hold up as much anymore because there is so much good stuff now. To compare yourself to Freddy got Finger doesn't stand a chance. You know what other movie always gets that's so funny? You try to be nostalgic, And it was just like, oh, maybe we should watch it just for kicks. What about step Brothers? People are always like quoting stuff that's that's that probably holds up. I gotta say, I've tried watching it twice, and every time I'm like, it's not for me. I don't know why I cannot. I want to get the joke so bad, but it just doesn't really get the joke. They're just not make and you laugh. You're not like, what's the joke there? I mean, the joke is that these two adult men are behaving like seven year olds. Yeah. Maybe it's the same thing with Super Bad. When I saw that, I was like, I could easily take I could leave this, I could be interesting. Yeah, well, I get I love those two that you just said, but I people love Horrible Bosses people love And when I saw that movie, I was disgusted. That is that Anniston and Sandler, Yeah, none of those Anniston, Charlie Day. Yeah, I mean I would kill to be in that movie or be associated with it in any way. And I don't know, disrespect to the people who made it, but it was unwatched. It was insulting, insulting. But the thing is, if I made those movies, those movies probably started out fucking hilarious. The scripts were probably top tier jokes every second. But people are dumb and studios want to make money, and if you don't want to alienate, not everyone's gonna watch Veep. It's too fast, it's two, it's too I don't want to say intellectual, because I don't want to pat myself on the back. But it's like, if you want to make if you want to make a lot of money, make things easy to consume. Slow slow, My mom cannot get through me. She's slow down, Please rewind. What did she say? It's like, forget it. This shows not for Russian moms that are eighty Yeah. I mean there's a time and a place U. Yeah, whenever your parents have to come to my show. I'm boys like do they have can they leave? Like this isn't says my dad's still just at lunch the other day is like, man, Nicky Glazer is fucking genius. Man, Well that's mind. He swears a lot whenever he's talking about you. Well, I'm not for everyone, and that's okay. Like, I think I have to get okay with that, because someone this weekend was like, you were so great. One of the caterers or one of the waiters were like, oh my god, I love you so much. I'm such a big fan of he goes, oh my god. The mayor and her and her husband walked out and discussed like as soon as you got on stage, and I was like, my first joke was about like having a dry pussy like that. I think that was about it. And I'm like, no one has a dryer pussy than that. Mare Like she was so triggered by that, and especially she's the fucking mayor of Las Vegas. She is the dry I mean, is it's it's just it's it's hell there. I I don't there has to be some kind of like lotion bath that you can go and get on every corner there because I was so scaly when I was there. Lube was just like nice, dry like it was start that make money while you're sleeping, I think. And and you know the eye eyebrow, our eyelashes that pull up your eyelid and make you look like you've that you just got some horrible news. All right, guys, thank you for listening to the show. We will be here for you tomorrow. Don't even think we won't um on tour this weekend in Bloomington, Indiana, Newport, Kentucky, and uh Lex, Kentucky all this weekend. So if you in the since Cincinnati area, the Newport show is the one you're gonna want to go do. You can get tickets at the gi Glazer dot com. I'll see you out there. New Merch. Anya's wearing it right now. Check it out on YouTube if you want to see my new merch shirt. I love that shirt so much. Looks like I'm having an orgasm kind of, but I don't mind it. And we'll see Anya in her new smile tomorrow. I guess yeah, I can't wait. We'll see that, all right, guys, Thanks for listening. Don't be kitt Area Plungja Ja Plung ja