#317 Alienation Song w/ Kerstin

Published Feb 15, 2023, 1:00 AM

Nikki has Kerstin come by to help recap their very eventful weekend. They sang their little hearts out in karaoke and while talking about it Nikki has an epiphany about something that happened on her birthday that she is not over. Nikki and Kerstin went to see Adam Sandler live and got an upgrade from his tour manager that they will never forget. Nikki tells all about meeting Adam Sandler backstage while holding in her pee. The girls talk about Nikki's butt and Kerstin offers a tutorial on how to take the perfect butt pic. Anya shares a story about a passive aggressive message on her mother's t-shirt, while Nikki wants everyone to read the message on hers. 

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The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Billy is sex slave. Here's Nicky. Hello everyone, it's Nicky Glazer. Welcome to show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Um I did say Billy as a sex slave. If you don't know what that means, neither do we, but it just fits really well. It's our friend's dog. She was wearing a collar once we were singing the song and my friend Taylor said, Billy is a sex slave because she was wearing a collar, which all dogs are sex slaves because they have collars. Welcome to the show. Um Anya is here with us, as she is all the time. Now we love it. She's in Mexico. That yeah, man, that's all that's all I know. Um let corkus. Wait, wait, let's seca corsa. That's all I know in Spanish? Do you know what that is? No corkscrew? So do you wanna non alcoholic wine? Because that's all you would need that for? What else? You need a qurse before? Anyway? Um on, just here where in Mayhico are you had that? I've been coming since I was a child, so you know like everything there. I know a lot of stuff that any fourteen through eighty year old would know because my parents are eighty now and I came here for well now, I guess I came here when I was like ten, so I still have kind of a child's view of the city. Like there's a lot of fun stuff here for gays. It's the number one gay capital of the world. So there's like a bear festival right now. Everyone here is like either a super cute little twink guy or like a big bear guy with a lot of men anyone. A recent episode of Last of Us, Yes, last night, last night, there's a bear in that, you know, the big guy that comes out of the ground. Oh, the biggest bear everyone talking about. He's called a bloater. There's like the infected are different. There's different ones as clickers that are like bats and they can see in the dark. And then there's a bloaters that's like a giant one. And there is one on the Last of Us you mean at the very very end, right that like takes everybody out. What yeah, yeah, the the big one that comes out and they're like what the hell and he's like They're like, it's a bloater and I'm like that's me. Every morning. Just a lot of salt inserting one comment, I haven't seen persons here. By the way, everyone, you haven't seen the last episode because I had to go to sleep after you guys watching it, So just no spoiler alert. Well there's a bloater in it, that's all you know. I told you. Yeah, Oh god, we're so bloat and most pizza too many process last night, Yeah we uh so persons in town. She's staying with me the past two nights. We went to Adam Sandler on Friday night, which was fucking bananas, and then we UM last night went to Taylor, who you know from the pod. It was her birthday and we had to carry co Key birthday night and it was um like ten of us in a room in St. Louis at the w Lounge. UM and yeah, we said. Kirsten was definitely m v P. She was hilarious UM on the mic, just doing like I don't know, you're just singing different lyrics to songs. And she also we found out she has an encyclopedic knowledge of every song, like she knows every song and not because they were up on the screen. She wouldn't even need the screen, like like Bob Seeger deep cuts. I love It's such an opportunity to be kid like. I was being kind of cool last night because when you know the song and you just like have the mic and you're like looking down and you don't need the lyrics, I was like in those Hollywood the most Hollywood closing your eyes and you're like look how much? And we were all looking at each other like how does she know this? And then it kept going like any song would come up and she would just know listen, we all know, like, um, the song, Um? What was the Steely Dan song that we already work? I don't want to do your dirty We all know the chorus. Okay, we can all look off the screen for that. But Kurson would like the bridge to listen, Oh, you fund yourself, somebody who can do the job for free. I'll speed it up. I mean, but she knows the bridge to like just be tracks from the eight It was crazy. I didn't know, you guys hear about this whole Steve Albani thing with him trashing Steely Dan and went viral all these Albania's But I did see all about it. He's a punk guy, no, I mean, he produced Nirvana's album Bleach. I think, I'm sorry if I'm wrong. If it was like incest decide or both, I forget which one or never mind. I don't know. Incest inside in incesticide, in secicideicide is what they changed it to. Yes, that's a Nirvana album. Yes, is incest inside incesticide like in I get I get it what they're doing. But is it about incested? He suffer incest? I don't think so, But um, it's controversial. Why would you to put incest in a song or an Now? What was the Steely Dan beef? With that? He was like, I'm the kind of punk that will always shoot on Steely Dan or something. And then all these people it was Soka and he's done this before and he went viral for it before. He just I don't know like that he knows how to be in the press. But I thought it was Soka. It's such a it's such an open platform for cook cook karaoke because you have different taste of music. You've got like the choices and everyone has to be on board and not be like to my karaoke thing. You get one song each per night in a room of ten, where you can pick a song that no one else knows, and it doesn't matter. It's your song. It doesn't matter if it's not a hit, it doesn't matter if noyone knows. Of course it's your song. You get one and then the rest. You need to choose ones that people have at least heard of. Practice area everyone's happy. Was there anyone? Was there anyone in this karaoke group that couldn't sing? I didn't have a nice voice? Um No, everyone pretty much that's sang had a good voice. So that was That was a good part of it. Like no one everyone knew their skills set. No one was hogging the mic. That was like terrible, you know what I mean? And I don't tell people that can't sing. I think they should be able to sing. I just think it's weird when they like, I think they're good singers. But no one was, like there's a there's a hierarchy that develops over the night. Like we kicked it off pretty strong, but then there's a tear of desire and aggressiveness towards the mic that some people gravitate, Like a song come up and given a Kerson would just grab. But we're talking about this and I'm sure Taylor's friends who aren't our core group of friends were like, she's a Mike hog or I was a Mike cog. But the problem is if you don't hog the mic, then there would be nothing playing or karaoke track like they would just cut to like K pop tracks. And then everyone kind of weighed around, and it's like, so either nothing's gonna get played, or everyone's gonna hem and haw and act like I don't want to go next, or we're just gonna take the reins being polite. But I also went out of my way to be like, come on, guys, get your next song in, like I don't want to be a Mike Cog and every because everyone expects me to be a Mike Cog. I didn't know a lot of these people. I'm sure they know who I am, and they think she's a show off. She wants the center of attention. So I always have to mitigate how I go into a karaoke situation because I know everyone's going to expect me to be like she wants the attention on her, and by the way, I do. Of course I do, but I have to get it enough out there. But I do. But karaoke is different from me I like. I like it because it's you don't have to listen to me. You can like be in a conversation and let me just sing in the corner by myself. I don't care if everyone's like enraptured by what I'm doing. Here's the second karaoke rule. So first, you get one so long that alienates everyone. It's okay. It can be terrible, it can be slow, it can be long. It's fine. You get one song and everyone should have that. Not everyone takes that chance, but you should take it. If you alienate everyone, it doesn't bring them together for the party. No it can, That's what I'm saying. But you get one. But that's what I'm saying. That is it though the other So if you and by the way, you should try to choose an alienation song that you can really like win people over. On last night, my alienation song was You're on your Own Kid. No I knew, no one had heard it. Everyone was kind of could in the room in terms of like, we don't listen to Taylor Swift, we don't listen to pop music. And I knew that this song is so good, and my sister knows it too, and us singing it together and putting on kind of a performance. I knew it would be good, and by the way, it was good. And someone later on reference like, well, the last time the sisters saying it was a fail, so maybe this time Corey and Taylor and I was like, excuse me, it was not a fail. In fact, I think many of the women were touched by the lyrics of that song when they were reading it. I starved my body just to be saved by a perfect kiss all that like, you're on your own kid, you always have been. I guarantee you. There were girls today in that room that had never heard that song. That today we're like, I gotta look up that song. What was that song? We won people over? So if you have a niche song, do a performance in a way that makes it so people go, oh, that's nice, or you know what, or have your little moment alone with your earl tub song that no one knows and and and that's fine too. The second rule is any other song you choose, it must be something that other people at least have heard on the radio, at least I've heard one time before a dirty work. Um. We got kind of scolded that Dave Matthews Two Steps was like he goes. One of the guys was like, well, we just heard a song that no one's knows, so here's another one. And he puts on a song that's like a rockabilly song that literally has like two YouTube views and all of this is a grainy photo on the YouTube of like a guy with like you know, do wop hair that literally the song has I've been listening to too since the nineteen fifty two and like a can you sing it? Do you remember any of it? No? Do you? It was like wound went down to the great karaoke hit grabbed her hand. Don't compare that to two Step by Dave Matthews. Hey, my love, I came to you with best. I don't care if you're not a Dave Matthews fan. You've heard at least you've heard two step before. And by the way, we did put two Step on, but we stopped it midway through because it's a long song and I have respect for people who might not like Dave Matthews, so I I adjusted it. But don't you dare? Don't you dare? Compare my two step choice, which I didn't choose. By the way, to you go. The guy who was like, well, we just heard a song that no one knows, so here's another one. No no, no, no, no no. That was a Dave. Dave Matthews is a hit band that's won many Grammys, that's been around for thirty years. Earl Tubbs or whatever bathtub honky tonk you're about to sing, has no one knows it. It doesn't have a beat. It's just a guy like crooning in a fucking I don't know like it was. It was just not so don't compare the two, do you know what I'm saying. And also like within the Lord of the Flies karaoke setting, there's ten people. It's like, I'm sure they could do their own podcast about how much they did not like our behavior. I just didn't like. The next thing was, though, the person who becomes the identified announcer. So between songs they take the mic and they're like, well, folks, now I'm the person who between each song, I'm going to be speaking and cracking jokes. And it's just kind of like nut doesn't stop. Leave it to the comedian in the room. By the way, I didn't even want that job. The second in command, which is my VP kerstin Floorman. Okay, like you know, but I don't listen. This is again. People get drunk, they get a little ballsy, and I didn't. I didn't mind the commentary because the person had the mic already in hand. He was just trying to keep the flow going. That's fine, but there is a weird hierarchy. And like, I'm and there's a girl in the room that I knew she wanted to sing. She had a little list. She brought a list of songs that she like thought might be good. And she's very timid about like she goes, I've never done this before. I think I've seen karaoke one time. But you could tell she wanted to so badly. So I at one point in the evening was like, what tell me what songs you have on your list? And I was like, because they were three mikes, So I was like, I'll sing with you, so we'll get people to sing with you so you can get your songs out. So she s saying the spin doctors, and she had another one that was like, um, what's the by Big Love? You know the song back? It wasn't that, wasn't that Anita just just maybe it wasn't I don't know. It was something like you Spin Doctors to Princess was a banger. It was a great choice. The older the song, the longer the buffering took. They're like trying to find this song. Ever they would have access micro fish go through file to go through. Um it was just hooglyphics on cave wall transfer and every room has their own demographic, Like we were definitely like our room was hot as how many rooms were there. There's like so many rooms. It's like a tanning salon. You go back in the hallway and it's just like rooms there were sued everyone together. We were people in one room, but like it was it was so hot in a room. They turned the heat up so we would get like fussy, and but they came coming back through. Yeah. Um, it was so fun. Karaoke is so fun. It's such a great idea for a party. And but just know that if you go and you're someone who likes to sing a lot, you gotta get people who are There's always gonna be people that are going to get mad at you, and those people they can go funk themselves because they can grab the mic when you want to. If you're gonna be fussy about it. But there are people that are going to be like shy and really want to sing, and like we'll hold back, and you gotta you gotta engage them and go, I'll sing with you. Because people don't want to sing alone. It's really scary for people, but they still want to sing. So always make sure to grab the person that you can tell wants to sing, but and don't don't force them to sing alone. Okay, they want to do that so badly, but they do not have the courage for it yet. Sing with them, even if you sing the mic next to each other's face and you sing with them like people, And I think so many people miss out on I know there's listeners right now that are like, I've always want to sing karaoke and I never just want to get up on that stage alone sing with them, even they should have rejected me once they have one. It was so like, I still haven't let it go. It was my birthday karaoke and my mom. By the way, one of my favorite karaoke songs is Criminal Fion Apple. It's like my one and it's also my mom's and so I go perfect, We'll sing it together, so be kind of really, I've been careless with there. Like it okay, So I go, mom will sing it together, and she's like, no, I don't want to. I want to sing it alone. I'm like, care has to perform because it's your dad. He's always nagging her. I know, but like what I'm I'm someone also I would rather sing. I don't care what song it is. I've been practicing it alone with an instructor for years. If someone is a good singer, I want to sing it with them. If someone's a bad singer, please take a back seat. When you're singing with a good singer, like stopping as loud give them the loud microphone. Last night we had a dim microphone in a loud one, and I'm like, people who are were singers, take on the dim microphone at please take a note. She don't even hear people singing though, It's like, you're just with my mom being the criminal. But she just was like, I'm like, wouldn't it be fun to sing with your daughter who has a good voice, to who also loves this song. I want to do it by myself, who usually just sings with her dad. Now I could do it with me. Yeah, like she but she needed it on her own and she's like, I want to do it on my own. And I still have my feelings are still hurt from that day. Maybe she just wants to shine, but why not? But but she'll shine next to me, like we can share it like aphone. If I could, I would share my comedy with her, like I don't. I've never once wanted to sing a karaoke song by myself. I think it's rude and I think it's I always want someone else if they do, if they know the song and they're a good singer. I would always prefer someone singing it with me because also I feel embarrassed when I sing alone because everyone's like, Oh, she thinks she's so cool. You think it's cute. Did you sing? Yeah that she likes, she wants to because she has a great voice. She probably just never just share it. I guess soul, but I I don't know. I know people Nikki just needs so much attention. It wasn't that I just wanted to share a song with I like singing with me that I like watching TV with people. That's why I go on Instagram live and sing to thirty three followers of our account. Because I don't like doing things alone, so it just hurt my feelings that she would rather be alone and like show everyone her goods then share the song. And I'm not a If I sing with someone, I'm not trying to like do more things than them vocally or like try to like I know where I stand. I would let her shine. It was just like it was just so rude to me and I literally need a therapy session over it. It hurt my feelings. Well, that's why we're here today, good and well, I mean that's why I'm wearing glasses. I've already cried today a lot lately. No, no, no, I mean it's mixed in there, that's deep in there. I think that wound still has it healed from my birthday party where I've literally never and my mom has done it multiple times. I've never gotten to sing Criminal at my own birthday party, which is my favorite so song just saying because my mom it's her only song to sing and she has to do it alone. I get that. I'm still learning from that. What would I get that? Why your wounded about it too? Because you would rather sing alone than share something with your daughter. That's why it upsets me. She wants the glory without the glory. No one gets awarded anything about totally different. Yeah, there's probably like another perspective that hasn't been discussed, but and I'm trying to consider that. Yes, I think that like Warren, probably performing yesterday, especially since you weren't like on the road, like this is your creative outlet, your outpouring of emotions and stuff like that. So that definitely probably unlocked something within you that is making you like a little bit more emotional today. Interesting yeaheah, I didn't feel Yeah, I got I got a lot out last night singing and performing singing. It definitely is better than comedy for that for sure. But I will think the puck just like, oh, just so sad and like just depressed today. But we're going to turn that ship right around and we'll be right back after this break. All right, we're back. Um, So let's just say last night was less. It was so fun. I probably have a hangover from how like fun. It wasn't that much of a release. It was my sister was there. It was Taylor's birthday. Her sister was there, Taylor's friends Kirsten. It was a blast. And then Friday night, Yes please, I got this text from you at like ten at night and it was a photo now and then once I learned that Kirsten was there, I saw your Instagram like, okay, now I know who took this photo and I need all the details of Adam Sandler was snuck the photo at the Enterprise Center, which is the Big Arena hockey arena on Friday night. And Chris, my boyfriend, is doing the Mark Twain Prize um for Humor for People for Sorry CNN, which is gonna air at some point, but they're they're taping it soon, so he has already he's show running this huge production. And if you've ever seen the Dave Chappelle when he did that one too, so he's well versed at these. He's really good at them. And um, it's it's awesome to get to do this and it's gonna be such a funny night of like comedy and just celebrating Adam Sandler. It's like a big fucking to do. The names that they have for this thing. It's like better than the Academy Awards, Like it's insane. Who's going to show up for this, so um Adam saying like, came to town on Friday night. Chris got tickets through Adams people because he's working on this event. And then I he put the tickets under my name just in case. And he also isn't stupid because he wanted to maybe people to see like, oh, Nikki Glaze is gonna be here maybe. So then I got us primo parking because I have an in there through working the Steeples Center, which is right next to it, so I get the best parking. It's like you're parking like it's you're Adam Sandler, like you're showing up for the show. And its parking such a nightmare down there, and the line around the block. We get to go in through the security insurance, it's fucking it's sick. It makes it's the nicest time I've ever felt about being a celebrity. Um, So we go in, we get to our seats, their floor seats. It's awesome. The show is if you have a chance to see Adam Sandler. First of all, watch Fresh on Netflix. If you have it. It is the funniest special going. No one's touches it, no one's pound for a pound, laughs and silliness and like just fun. No one special touches it. I'm telling you maybe Bo Burnham, but Bo Burnham has like an edge of depression throughout the whole thing. There's like an existential crisis. Adam Sandler, tell me watch that special and tell me it's not the hardest you've left at any special comic special out there. It is the best, so we are. His whole show is so funny. He did like an hour and a half of just Him. We saw Rob Stinder open. He was great. And then it goes into Sandlers. Sandler's killing was stand up music everything. So from the percent Fresh Special, I've become obsessed with two songs on there or three Alcoholic Lawyer, Um, if you can find out Spotify, it's about an alcoholic lawyer. You just gotta just listen to Alcoholic Lawyer. It's literally twenty second song and it's so funny. And then Station sixty nine, which is about two astronauts who sixty nine each other in space and it's so funny and it's just it literally is one of my my favorite songs. I listened to it earlier that day when I was running in the park. Um, I just think it's a beautiful song. And then the Chris Farley song, And you guys have heard me talk about this recently, like I've been obsessed with Chris Farley song. I was struggling with Yeah, yeah, I didn't even know Adam Sandi was coming to town when I played it for you guys. I've been playing it for everyone. I'm obsessed. So then we go and I was saying to Chris early in the show, I was like, man, my life would be made if they played Farley song because it's the only one fresh the special that I was like, they might redo, but I don't even think Adam would do that, Like, man, it would be I think I would lose it because I'm so emotional about that song. I just seeing it live would be like seeing Wilco do I Am my Mother, like Taylor Swift do You're on your own kid, Like, that's how good that song is to me. But I had no because comedians are so weird about repeating material. I knew he wouldn't sing it. So then at the end he starts, I hear all of a sudden, the tinkling of keys, and I'm like, it's Station sixty nine. They're fucking doing my favorite song, like Farley. I knew was a chance they would sing it, but not really much Station sixty nine. There was no chance they were gonna play it. And then he played it and it is so good and Rob Snyder played the astronaut who he you know sixty nine with and it's so funny. Doesn't he do that in this special too? Yes, but he comes up walking in this one because in the specially, he's like flying and he's wearing this he just puts on a helmet, but it was still down. Yes, So it's like the song is like, it's awfully cold and outer space tonight. I sent the message back to Earth to tell them we're all right. I checked this something something and look for instruments to speaks. And he's like, but my favorite part of space is when we suck each other's deeks And it's like the whole thing is like they are floating through outer space and they can't control it, and they turn in a way that they both suck each other's sticks accidentally, and they call it it's just another accident on Station sixty And then he's like, and then at the end he goes it's just another accident. And then rub Rubsider goes, it's just another thing that on purpose. I did just another afternoon on stage sixty nine. It's so good. But the music and the melody is just I don't know about it. I just like love it. It's not even the joke part that makes me laugh as hard. It's just like it's a beautiful song. So then they played that, then they played Farley. I'm like crying, tearing up. Then we have a guy come over and like like get our attention. We're like in the row, and he like passed is down these like these like stickers that say Adam Sandler in the date and then my name on them, and five of them. And there's five of us. It's me, Chris Kirsten, Um, Tim, Chris's brother, and Emma, Tim's wife, And I'm like, I don't even know what these are, but we're like watching the show. We're like I guess they're backstage passes, but I don't know in what contact, Like, I don't know what to do with any of these. And then at the like after he finishes Farley, the guy comes back, you know, thirty minutes after he gave us some passes and it's like come on, guys, come on, and so we are ushered out and then we get to go backstage. We're on the side of the stage for like the last song, which is a beautiful song. It's the song I Want to Go Old with You, the one from Wedding Singer, and then um and then we go backstage. And then we are backstage in this area, the same area when I went to the Blues game where there was like a buffet and we get to hang and see all the like the Blues coach and all these stuff, same area, and I'm like, oh, I been here before there as they should. I got that sounds like my mom, Like Mom, I got beast. They gave me best slay chrisses for Adam Sandler, as they should. Your goddamn star take it back. Julie gave me that microphone neck and so yeah, kremin uh, I'm a kremin baby, I'm gonna sing. I want to sing it. Hold on, we should call my mom to see her side of things. So then she so then we go backstage and then we were all like freaking out because we know we're about to meet Adam Sandler. It's Adam Sandler. I really just said recently, I think he's the last person comedically that I'm like, I haven't met him and Julia Louis Dreyfus, Jennifer Aniston, who would be like really big to me. And so I am like in that kind of weird state where we're all looking like Tim met Emma Christians like more chill Christians like, oh is there a bathrobock girl like like aner the off area, and I'm like, asked the guy who just brought us there? I was like, how did I get out of here to go the bathroom? And we like entered this like quarantine area for v I P and Christans Like I'm like, okay, so like how long do you think we're gonna say? Hear? No? I was excited. I was being Coulio Coulio just like trying to be. She didn't even have to Couli Okay from Kansas, just like he's trying. So I did have to be. But I just was looking We're Tim and Tim's a comedian. I'm We're like Chris where I go, We're about to be at We're like losing it, And then it gets to be like a little bit longer, and I'm like, okay, I really have to be and I don't want a picture with Adam Sander where I look like I'm four months pregnant with like P. So I walk out because I go Kristen, I'm gonna go, and Kursten tells me where it is and I start walking out and then I see Adam Sandler and I just like turn around and he's coming in. He's coming and he walks in and I'm like he's They're like, this is Nicky Glazer and I'm like, oh, hi, and he's like niggie and um, and I went in for a hug and he goes in for a fist pound as I'm going for all oh, I'm so sorry. I go as a buggy. I'm like go, oh my god, I'm so sorry. You went in for the fifth and he goes, no, I was just giving you the option, and then he just founds everyone else. I'm like, no, he does not, like, yeah, he does not want a hug. And I went in for a hug. So that was embarrassing, but also who cares. He's gracious, doesn't Yeah, he doesn't care. And then um, and then he was so nice and he and then I was like, my boyfriend is like, you know, he's producing, goes I heard, he goes, who's that? And then they meet and he meets all of us and then he like then everyone's just digging into the food, like all the crew, and there's a guy that's in water boy that he's there too, and um, it's just like and then the guy that brought us backstage, like their stage manager, who's he's I was like, thank you so much. I was like, and he was like, I've been to dinner with you like three times. And I'm like wait what and he's like, yeah, it's been I've been at dinners with Spade. I'm like, I don't how do I not remember? And I was like, was probably a dinner where it was too many people and I was too shy and he was like yeah, probably, Yeah I was trying too. I felt bad. But he was really sweet and he was like, um and he really set up though. I feel like he like facilitated the whole thing. So I want to thank him for getting us those v IP tickets. So it was just like so um. But I talked to Adam like a lot, like I went over and told him that I used to babysit for Judd Apatao and for his children, not him, and that he called one night and was the nicest. He was like, I thank we remember that. He kind of liked that story. He was asking about Um. I told him I was trying to spade. He said, I'm sorry about that. Um he Uh. He was just like so cool and then oh we talked about his I was like that set was amazing because it was so funny. There were so many new Oh my god. He has this one song where he like he like he talks about like when you I don't want to burn it, but he talks about when you like have a balloon and you just want to like let it go, and like back in the eighties, you could just let a balloon go and you'd like watch it go up in the air and they would just be an event where everyone would like watch the balloon go up and up and everyone it was just fun to be like it gets so high, like wow, wow, you watched it. But now it's like pollution, you know, like you can't do that. And so now he's like talks about like he had a balloon and like someone's like, don't do it, and he's like, I'm not gonna do it. I'm taking over. I'm just gonna take it home with it. And then it's in the car and it's like blocking your fucking view and he's like, I just want to let it go so bad. And then he like he pretends to like go for the door and he's like, oh, it actually fell out my hand. And then the guy's like you that was on person. He goes, oh, it wasn't. And then he's like look at it, like you just got to still look at it. And then the balloon. Then later that night, the balloon comes back. Here here's something at his window. And the balloon comes back and it's like, thank you, thank you for letting me fly. It was my dream to fly. And he's like okay, balloon. Cool, I'm glad you got that. And the balloon is like, I have it's one of two dreams. I don't want to it, but it's like he goes, okay, cool, I'm glad you got your dream because I said I had two dreams, and he goes, okay, oh, I guess what's the other one. I just really want someone to go down on me. It's a second dream. Was That's that's the beauty of Adam Sandler's like it goes from this like relatable thing of like, oh, you release a balloon and it's so fun to watch, and it's like even that is like very specifically, like it's a thing that's relatable that we all know, but no one's ever put it in those words, and it was just so it brought us all together. Then he started talking about going down on this balloon and then it gets wild. It's so funny, like untying the balloon and then the air comes out just a little bit, like balloon goes like oh that was but he called it something. He was like, yeah, they called it like a heli quif or something like um, and it was. It's just it was so absurd, so funny. But I was just telling him like how great his new Hour was, and he's like, you know, it's just so hard to get a new hour. I'm like, I'm not writing songs and producing like heartrendering, like the Farley song is one of the best songs I've heard in a decade. Like it's touched me, and so like what he's doing is much harder than stand up to every stand, like the videos and the photo montages and just it's so visually like you're not bored for second. And he's so lovely. Anytime someone goes like he's like, he just goes like, love you, lovely, Like he has to do it a million times during the show, but he does it in a way that doesn't make everyone do it. You know, for a while, I was like, stop acknowledging them, because they're gonna keep doing it. But he's he's so gracious, gracious, he's so nice, he's so he's so full love. He talked about St. Louis in the perfect way, like it was a master class for me in terms of like going to to see how someone can make a night so special. He does a song about selfies and how lame they are, and then by the end of it he's like, but selfies are actually fucking cool. Let's take a bunch, and he takes a selfie with the whole stadium. He gets every little core her so that you see yourself in it and it's you know, on the big screen, so then you're a part of the show. Like, and then he does a part where he like sings about he just was like, okay, I need a couple in their twenties, and then he puts a flashlight on them. He holds a flashlight and then he sings like he came to the show tonight because they want to to god like and then he doesn't like a story about them, and he's like, just know that if I find you with the flashlight, this isn't exactly your story. We're just having fun. He's just very protective of everyone but also having such a good time. Um And it was just like it was so cool to meet him. And then by the end of it, um, yeah, we were just like the guy was walking us out that got us in there and his stage manager and was like, Adam asked you if you're on the road. You know why I did that, right? And I was like no, and he was like he he wants he would want you to come on the road and I was like, no, that's not why he asked me. Because I was like he was like, are you on the road right now? And I was like yeah, like every weekend. This is my first weekend off and like a month or so, and he was like, yeah, that's why I asked you. And I was like, well, tell him I will cancel my tour no offense on you, and then I will do anything to go on the road. So I'm really hoping that he puts in a good word and I get to go out on some dates with him and just fly and things would come. See you again said I would do Station sixty nine, but I have to be a man because they suck each other's dicks and that. So I was like transition for that song. I want you to be in one of his songs, Like I want him to do a like a song collab with you. I would love it. I mean, I just want to do more songs because they're just short. They can just be one verse or Donna have a punchline and then you go into the bit like you can. The song can be one verse, a chorus and then and then I crashed on plane into a hill and then it's like done and then everyone laughs. It doesn't have to be like you don't need to weird outlet or to even bo Burnham. It where it's like a whole song with a bridge and like you don't need it, and I like how you just have Like he had a beat one song, I was like boom when he just say guy in the movie theater with a backpack, boom boo boom boo, boom boom boom. He's alone and like you how to get us all nervous in between me and the exit, talking about like fat cop ball on a horse, what did he do to get his squad card ticket from him? Like he's just he's talking about things in society that we like all noticed, like it was just a device to it was so And then there was a song about bathroom stall like public restrooms and how each stall has something disgusting, like one is filled with ship one sprayed with piss, the others filled with blood on It's like moving down to the handicap, got a homeless guy passed out. What's that? It's like like one day, it's it's observational, it's funny, it is out of the box. It is disgusting. At times. There were some songs that were like so gross that you were like oh, and then the visuals with them on the screen, so another thing that made me go oh. Adam Sandler is known as this like squeaky clean. If I talked to I'm not trying to play the card of like I'm persecuted. But I get known all every single fucking interview I do talks about how lud I am, how crude, how just how disgusting I am, how I don't hold back, how all I talk about is sex. And I doubt that Adam Sandler gets asked about how disgusting his jokes are all the time, even though I love that about his jokes, he should not change them. But I feel like why I'm so sick of doing interviews where I get talked about, like, well, just to know that you know that the station, um, there could be old people listening, and I go, who knows more about sex? And like war and like the old people? Why are we protecting old people? I got told that this week we have a lot of old people who listen to our station. It's like, are they four your like? I think they can handle jokes? Yes? Why are we protecting them rusties? You have fans that are rusty? Yeah, dude? But um, any takeaways for you from Adam Sailor Night. I just loved it because I love writing little songs. You know that it's like my thing. And I just saw how easy, I mean, he made it look easy because it was like Oh my gosh, I totably thought that thought. But I loved how you could do that was so easy. Like he would be like grasses growing, the sky is blue, blah blah blah blah, and my daughter's friends hate me or something like. It's just like a picture of his daughter and like and her friends like you like, and I hate my daughter's friends. And then he has this whole story about meeting his daughter's friend in the in the kitchen and how he's just this kid was eating his turkey out of the fridge. It's like, you gotta go see Adam Standing the Live if you can't fly to a city and go see it. It was so good. But at one point, so we were in the crowd watching it, and he had a Venti Starbucks cup and I was just like, I want to know what his order is so bad because he's like sipping the Starbucks cup and I'm just like, I wonder what it is. And I assumed it was black coffee because most men are just like they just drink black coffee and um. And then Kirsten we're backstage and and oh and Kristen also at one point we were joking if I like because people kept yelling out in the lulls like I love you, an you can do it, you know, like all these things. So Kurston was like, what if you yelled at what is your Starbuck? I know you wanted to know. So then so they were backstage and Kursten, we're joking again if I asked him what is Starbucks? We were also like, how ridiculous that would be? Right? That was the joke. I turned my back for two seconds, and Curson goes, Adam, Nikki's dying to know she wants to be able to get you a Starbucks someday. What is your Starbucks? But why did you say she wants to get you a Starbucks someday? All I said, let me rephrase it. We were already there. He was sitting alone, kind of looking over at us. He wanted to interact Rob Schneider. And the thing when you're famous person, people think you want to be left alone, and then you end up not being a part of conversations because everyone's trying to respect. Like in retrospect, I really wish I would have talked to him more because I just was like, he's tired, he wants to do his thing, and I forget that I always want to hang after shows. And later the guy that walked me out was like, because I said to him, I was like, if Adam brings me on the road, just let him know I will hang as much as he wants, and I will always leave him alone as much as he once I have no, I have respectful boundaries of his art. And he goes, oh, no, all Adam wants to do is hang, and I was like, I want to do all I want to do. I know he's the best, because you know, it's like I just like, we just have to give him a little bit of props because there's some people who just are so good at networking and connecting people, and that he just has this kind of foresight to make this happen. Added so much more to just going to see Adam Sandler front row. It's so much more than that. Yeah, that's just the best thing is when people have a good crew that know how to fe with other people. So you know, that's like their job to curate what they want and make it and just make it easy, make your night easy, make everything flow. It's such a hard job to like you have to know exactly when to go out to find Nikki Glazer in the crowd with her friends and have the things ready, yes, and sprinkle these things. Yeah, it's anything else. I didn't have anything else to ask him. I didn't talk to him like, hey, I'm Kirsten. I was just I just like, nice, meet you. Bump. He looked at me and boom. So then the night was winding down. He was looking over and I was just like a glance at him. He made eye contact. I was like, Adam, what's your Starbucks order? Nicky wants to grab you one next time you're in town. He was like, which is like coffee? Steve that line. I just had to know. But we just didn't care. And I was like, no, I wasn't like trying to get him. I was like, I didn't know that. It reminded me, It gave it. It was giving, If I could use a term that I don't use, it was giving energy from when Kirsten and I took a train one one year because her mom's scared of flying to eighth grade to New Mexico to visit her grandparents. And we got there and um, Kristen just kept telling her grandmother that I loved women's rights and that she should tell me about suffrage and like the women's rights movement, and so Christon would leave me alone with her grandma and be like, Nick, he's dying. She loves women's rights, tell her about it. And then I would be like stuck with her grandma women's looking through a photo album looking at me like yeah, And it was it was giving that for me where Kristen like shout something and then like throws me into it and then I'm stuck. But his order is black coffee with Steve. See you wanted to know and I helped you, and that was like right, I didn't guess Stevia, but um, yeah, I know. At least I have. I have training and meeting your famous friends, like getting through it and not being like so David Spade, oh my god, I loved that movie that you were and I watched it. No, I just sit and wait and wait, and I get to say one or two things, and I feel like that's a good boundary, like out you can go in hard. I just don't want you to make say something dumb like Nikki wants to get you one next, Nicky to the embarrassing part. I don't care what to ask him what your order is. But when you said Nicky wants to get you one, I was just like, no, Nikky, what if I walked up and I was like, hey, Adam, oh my god, you know what I did. Nikki would love to be on tour with you, Like she's just like a obsessin me. That would I mean that would be hell too. But it's kind of like when we had well I didn't do this with my friends, but when I looked at other normal kids doing this, where like they had a crush on a boy and the friend was the one who was like, oh, I think I think Amy likes likes you. Yeah, And then like Nikki, why don't you guys kiss? Right? And you're just like that was that was kind of my job when you're like six months older chaperone in through high school. That's true. Do better than to do it with boys, because I would have just like turned into like a frozen like wait did she do it with I haven't seeing the last night. What would myrandmother like just in those or she would be in a store or something, you know, like she just put me in embarrassing situations. I do love to put you in because it made you who you are today. Now you can handle any I'm trying to think of other examples where you were just anything Nikki like loves your shirt, like like where did you get Like we'd be making fun of something, and then Kirsten would likely wants to get into archery. She wants to do it. You want to tell her about it. You know, you were like at a school thing like going to see like someone work with like owls that I do love owls. Yeah, I mean going to the art museum and telling the curator that you'd like to go through the Mummy exhibit another time. Because and then you were such a polite kid. You would have been like sure, yeah, I mean I'm still a polite kid. And then we went over But yeah, it was. It was an adventurous weekend. We went to my sister's house and her kids were, uh, just wild. It was the pitch was just like like tea kettles and cats screaming. After a while, we were like, oh, yeah, I always go over there and like I wear like nice blue lemon new pants and I just pulled out of the dryer and they have like just crap all over them, like stickiness. Like kids are just so dirty, Like I felt like I got done going to like Bonnaroo after that, like I was just like I needed to shower for like eight days because they're just like drooling everywhere. They're they're sucking on things, and then they're jumping on you with like hands with bananas in them, like mothers just never can be clean. They always have a sucker. And then they grab your hand and it's sticky. And then but Pappy was chasing me around with a full banana in her hand that she was like grasping onto and then like shoving it into my hair. It was just like I don't love you. It's like anymore like when you have like to get away from me, treat me as persona on rata, It's like col's then next to get me. You can't get me. And then running around sprinting, I was wearing my brooks. I was like, I was like, I have a disease where I can't walk anymore. I like made you know, we're playing make believe, and I go, I can't. I lost my legs used to my legs so I couldn't chase them. And then they were like your legs are healed, and I was like, God damn it. They would just like suddenly like do cast a spell on my legs and now my legs are healed. I was like, I gotta And then they started getting naked and that was a whole thing. But I was like, I'm going to join the party, and so I just pulled down my pants. I've never mooned anyone in my life. Literally, I don't moon. I just pulled down my pants to my butt because they were just just my butt, Like who cares? So I just pulled down my butt like because they were just going around in circles and we would run through the living room and they're running through naked, and then what I started running with them, and just to surprise Lauren and Kirsten, I went through and I pulled down my pants just my button like skipped behind and then the kids saw my butt and they were laughing. They like put it, handle it. And then I apologized to Lordly and I'm like, should I have not done that? And she was like, no, that was hilarious. Which is your butt? Who can I have the video? I'll delete it if you want. Oh, you should delete it for your sake because my butt is disgusting and it was like librarian flat, Mrs Stiffler, like the most disgusting ass I've ever seen in my life. Like I I honestly did not care because it was supposed to be for a joke, so like it's funny. I woke up today wanting to kill myself because I hate how much I look. But my ass yesterday is truly one of the grossest things I've ever seen in my life. Like I did not know my I think Krisket should break up with me based on it, but I did not care at all, And I still don't care because I don't care about my ass. Really, yeah, it's behind you, but if any of you saw your ass look like minded, you would you would jump off a cliff, you really would. It's one of the worst asses I've ever said. It's an adult, but that when you're in motion. I think that was part of the thing. You were like, oh my god, because you were like up and I was like pausing it and going slowly and like backing you up and going and backing up. It's like an adult butt in motion with I could tell my sire, you trying to make it sexy. You were trying to have like a goofy exactly. That's the difference. I don't if I can look ugly, if I'm trying to look ugly, I don't. I don't care at all when I look ugly and I don't want to be. That's where I like lose my mind and start crying all day. But like shaking it around and it was like, yeah, it didn't bother me because it was not meant to be. It wasn't meant to look hot. It was to be around kids and just show your button, be like oh my god, Aunt Nikky just showed her. But like it's just they weren't so bright. If I did, right, you are setting a foundation for being the most fun aunt. I mean you were Sandler. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I probably could get some kind of tickets in some county for what I did show. I mean I could get some money off that. Okay, that's true. You could. Well, I could get some money off of the butt shot you sent me. Bit right, you'll be right back after this, all right, we're back. Yeah. Kristen took a hot picture for her husband the other day and it was I saw it on her phone and then I was like, will you send that to me because it's so hot, like it's inspiring, unless she said to me, it's inspiring, it's so hot. It was the angle, And I know my mom's going to listen to this and she's not like in the generation the camera, how you did it? Yeah? Yeah, and so on YouTube. If you want to see karaoke last night. It's the best way to take a picture of your But if you have a good one and you want to send it to a guy or a girl out of town, and I just want to say, hey, Colory, look at this. Okay, So the phone is propped up against something like a mug, a friend's mug. She's coming off the mic. She gets up a staggered stance. You can still talk to Yeah, a lunch. I'll take it right now. Actually, so you keep one leg straight like down, This is good. Okay. So staggered lunge stands. Okay, let me pivot your hips so that the cheeks are facing the front of the screen. Staggered loan stanch stands. I don't think I could do that movement. We'll take it, we'll send it, we'll post it on our story. It's perfect. Yeah, make sure. I wonder if my butt could look that good in that though, because you have a great butt. That's the thing. Well, do you want to say what you're just doing a lunge and you take a picture of its. Are you tightening your butt muscles as you do this? I'm flexing at my hips so that kind of my my butt bones are going back into like a you hear Crison getting pilates voice. If you just do it with a round but you have Yeah, I can't arch my back like that. You're here, it's not going to look as good if you extend. You gotta pop that. Ever's watching YouTube clips like jerked off Able right now from Chris and going it's kind of it's a little bit of a bloodiest nick. He's gonna listen to this later to kick a nap so I can hunch my back, send your legs yea, yeah, do a hunchback and send Why Okay, here's why don't our bodies naturally do what they're supposed to do. Why is everything that looks good hard? Because the human body was designed to move as efficiently as possible, and that means that there's a lot of muscular compensations that occur over time. You develop muscle and balances and injuries due to your body loading the way it really shouldn't. Where do we go wrong? Why can't we just stay the way? Because babies have perfect posture, they walk with they walk with an archback, they have their butts sticking out, they walk perfectly aligned well over time? Is it shoes over time? Shoot? I don't who knows chicken or the egg, but like there's no, there's no question chicken over the egg. When does it start? Like even as babies, Like, you're not supposed to do an inverted visa where the knees you're bending and the toes go out, because that then it creates issues for when you're standing, your foot flattens and the negoes in and your buckets weak, and like then why do kids do that naturally? Because it feels good? Because they're really lacks, Like their muscles are really lax and not fully formed till about puberty. So why pub we harden up all the right way? They do come out? Need to go to pilates well, because we don't. We no longer work in fields and we're not hunting and gathering up moving all day. We sit and we sit and we sit and foods that are inflammatory which create even more inflammation. Okay, what are what are the foods we should avoid? Their inflammatory popcorn, fast food, fried food. You don't need popcorn, right because it's like destructive on the digestive system. What do you call it? You're like, it's like an are you vedic medicine at people? No? But I mean you call popcorns something when you're like, I can't have that, it's too So there's there's are vedd as the earth elements reflected in our bodies, so like it's it's pars air, fire, and um and earth. You're like, it's so to pizza kafa, it's like three signs that you're made up of more nothing. Yes, So anyway, this is also one of those subjects that I get so nervous about because no matter how many times I learned vata ka, it goes right out of my mind. But it's it's literally just like like you can take a quiz. You can kind of see what applies to you, and then you can look at a list of stuff, one better than the other. Because I know I'm the worst one. I'm probably whatever the one is. There's like no one wants to be that one, and to be that one, it's for good. It's good for like, yes, which one? You're not that one? You're the skinny, tall one. That's really fascinating. You are made of air and light and you're just like ideas. I don't need to take the question. You already know. You don't want to know what the one is that I am and that my mom is. It's a cow grazing and are you and your mom are both? Tis a little bird bones? So you, guys, different times in your life you can for different things. I think I'm are whatever Nikki is. Now you are one, Like let's say you are kafa, but where you're imbalance lies. I've seen a practitioner to kind of diagnose like I am pizza whereas a fire. But my imbalances lie in the vata, so the air. So when I'm my imbalances are anxiety, worry, fear, whose aren't well. Kafas don't have a ton of anxiety like I have what Yes, this is the astrology of it. I don't have a lot of anxiety. I have a lot of depression. That's kafa. That's a kafa. Okay, So I'm a cow it's not whatever you have. If you have excess coffa, there's any need to add vata. So maybe the foods you eat that are like you love, foods with like air and crispy like that can help balance caloria or kaffa. I'm saying a person that grew up in the two thousands who didn't get enough emotional support from her parents at a young age. But some of these types and Gemini, it's meant to just be fun and like you notice things like if you eat popcorn and maybe you don't poop for two days. That's kind of not that I do. Who could trace not pooping too? I had popcorn me on your nose. She's from my body, No, but I know when there's something awry in my body. How do you do COVID? Right now? My mom has COVID. She's like, I feel amazing. I'm not sick at all. I give her a test um the stripe comes immediately. I'm like, you, you're very positive right now, just chill out. She has no idea she's even sick. She has all I'm like giving her the test she has tons of snot. Meanwhile, she's like, I feel amazing. I feel great. What is that type, Kristen. I mean, it's not like that's a tie. Well, I was someone that could eat a little thing and go oh, I'm just sens like it's sensitivity. I think like the more ages be high sensitive. Like this karaoke room last night for an HSP, my sister would have been like, banging you go. Do you know when you eat popcorn and don't poop, You're like, oh, I can trace it to the thing that I ate that made me not poop. I don't even know I haven't pooped. I was on Dancing with the Stars for eight weeks and didn't know that I hadn't pooped. Your last poop after yesterday the dispensary was the last time I pooped yesterday. But I mean, like if I go along to there are many times I've been constipated for several days and I'm just like in a bad mood and I have no ideas because I haven't pooped and are bloated. You're like very sensitive to it. You know, if you were to do those shots for your eggs, you know you would have been like, oh, I feel gross, well, you know, gut and like anxiety is all linked yes, especially when like I remember when I was taking antidepressants, Like one of the warnings was like, oh, you're gonna be pooping a lot, and like once you know, like like right at the start as the pills are starting to stable. Yes, whatever, I had a lot. I was always on the toilet. Brain and anxiety is all connected with my body. So did it clear? Did you think it cleared you out and kind of like helped. I think it's just all like the it's like in the nervous system, it's all linked. Well, whatever I need to poop, I just smoke a little weed and then for whatever reason, smoke makes my body go like get out of me. Yes, it relaxes because the main point of all of the ruvadic stuff is just to chug caffee put your body into like an equilibrium to where you're like mentally physically as whole as you can be. And this stuff depresses me because it's so much work. It's not at all, Nikki. All it would take was you to go You have to like grain up like like little chia seeds and do overnight oats, and you have to go in a red light sauna, and you have to go to a guy that sticks pins in you and like feels your stomach nodes and then you have to you know what, So what could I change that would make it better? Based on the things you observed this weekend? So based on the things I've chugged this like, because it's bad. I've been taking notes since I arrived Friday at five what I've observed so far. No, I mean, I think easy things you can do in the winter is like decreasing the amount of decreasing the amount of carbonated cold drinks, increasing warm cooked foods like soups and roasted vegetables, and like proteins. Um, you know, can I warm up my protein bars in my pocket like that? Just getting outside as much as possible, like our walk we did in Forest Park yesterday. I get outside once a day and go for a run. I mean, there's just little things you can do to help ensure that you're about wearing a shirt that says I'm sad, I'm sad, I'm sad, I'm sad, I'm sad. That's definitely. I bought this faster than I've ever bought anything in my life. I just came up on my feet. They knew I needed it final thought I got from reductress because you're always sharing their posts. Yeah, I love their posts and like they their post always nailed me so hard. There was one that was like, woman celebrates forty birthday by admitting to herself she doesn't want kids and stop saying, oh, maybe someday. And I was like, I cried when I saw it because I was like, finally, something that makes there's other people out there that have been faking this, like maybe someday, so that you'll still like me and still treat me like a real woman and do I fit in maybe someday? And yeah, when I saw the shirt and said I'm said, I put it in my um. I put it in the basket and the Instagram card you know when you buy things on Instagram. And then I go, I can't wear that. It's just too obvious and it's like too it's going to start conversations with people, and so I didn't buy it, and I was just like, and I'm not spending thirty two dollars on a shirt that says I'm sad. That's like not good for you. And then I got sadder and it came up again and I was like I need that shirt so bad because it just says maybe people will be nicer to me or something, or maybe people will like take if I wear it, they'll be they'll be more gentle, or they will be more understanding of me being um, not pleasant or something. And I think that every one of us needs the shirt on. At some point you should be able to wear it and everyone is just easier on you that day. My mom used to I have a T shirt in the eighties and it was um when she and my dad were having a lot of marital arguments, and it was painted feet like footprints all over and it said go ahead, walk all over me and every day. And I remember my dad was like, I really don't like that shirt. Oh my gosh, that's like a night like existence. I think it's pretty aggressive because passive. For me, I'm sad so often and I feel like people sometimes think I'm a jerk or like the reason that anyone's ever rude is because they're deeply sad inside. Like you have to like equate those two. If someone cut you off in traffic, if someone gives you the finger, if someone you know write you up at work and like complains about you, they're deeply sad. If someone's mad at you about something because you said something to them that you told them the truth about something. They asked you a question and you gave them the answer they didn't want, and they're being mad at you about or whatever happens in your life. They are sad. If they are sad, so be gentle on them and be nice to them. And I feel like even the other day I canceled. Um. I've just been every single day of my life promoting my shows on these radio stations and doing different interviews with like these small publications. And I don't think any of it works, but you have to do it because in case you have low ticket sales, the promoter can't call you a diva and be like, well, she never did any of the press. So I say yes to literally every So I call into radio stations three times a day sometimes and like, you know, it's it's a lot. And so the other day I was just not up for it and or no what what it was that it was the last one of a day of like and I was crying. I was about to cry on like all of these because I was just like not in the mood for it, and so I just told my assistant. I was like, can we get this one moved? So she moved it and it was no problem because they're grateful. I'm even calling in, and I'm also grateful for them for putting me on air, because it's not ideal. If to a radio station, I have a call in, it's better in person. Before I was famous, you could never call in. I would go into a town. I would go into Cleveland. First show over the weekend. You get in on a Thursday, you have a Thursday night show. The second you get in, you have to go to you have to go to afternoon radio, and then Friday morning you have to wake up at six am and go to morning radio. And then you have just like there's and there's no calling in from your hotel room. To make get easier, you have to go in. But when you get famous, they're like, call in, it's fine. I'm like, wow, it seems like calling in was actually an option all along. It's very interesting. So anyway, calling into the show the other day that I had rescheduled and my voice lesson went long, I was supposed to call in it three thirty. I got off my voice lessen at three oh eight. I get in the car and I'm like, well, they don't want me in a car because it sounds bad. So I was like, I'll dress drive somewhere in park and call you know when you're driving, you can it's like you good, like hear it. Then it starts pouring down rain and I'm like, well then that this can't be good for audio. So then I just was like, oh, they're not calling me. No. One seems to be like worried about me not calling in. I was like, I'm just not gonna call in and see if we can just reschedule this, you know. Then I see my assistant goes, you missed your call at three an hour later, and I go, I know, here's what happened. And she goes and they just wrote they don't need to reschedule. You're canceled. And I was like they hate me because then I realized, oh, no, that was the call that was rescheduled already. This is two times I'm flaked on them, which is like not okay. And I didn't realize it was the same station. There's so many stations I'm calling every day. I didn't realize it was the same one. So then I go fuck, and so I found them on Instagram and I wrote them and I was like, here's what happened. I'm so sorry. I know you probably fucking hate me because I know these stations. They're like Nikki Layzer thinks she's sucking better than us, and then I'm now going to be like this person that whenever my name comes up in a news thing, they'll be like, well, she used to be a friend of the show, but she canceled on us twice because she thinks she's better than us. And then everyone in Cincinnati that listens to that station thinks I'm a jerk. And then any time my name comes up in company with them, they'll be like, I heard she's a bit. And then anytime those people that were in those company here, I heard she's a bit. And then it spreads like the last of us the mold spores and it's all connected. So I of course corrected by writing to the station and being like, I'm so sorry. I was in a thing that wentlong. I got caught in the rain. I totally understand if you hate me. I just wanted to explain my self. I really appreciate you guys having me on I'm sorry, and they of course rescheduled right away, so then I have the call with them when I get on, and they're like, you know a lot of history with you. You know, we you were a friend of the show. You came on before the pandemic and did a promo. We had a lot of fun. And then during the pandemic, I reached out one time on Instagram and to have you back on the show, and you just wrote back, too busy. And I'm like, that's a reply, that's an honest reply, that's a reply. But you know what because I didn't say thanks for asking, sorry, you know, how's your daughter? Exactly? But I just wrote back too busy, And a lot of I bet a lot of besties are like, yeah, Niki's written back stuff like that to me too. Go look in your text messages. Is every text you've ever sent anyone laced with thanks, sorry, exclamation mark? You know? Sometimes you are too busy? You know what's ruder than writing? And the and the girl had my back because he said that, and the girl goes, well, she could have just not written back when I go, yeah, check how many comedians never right back to you when you write them? Uh? The thing is I at least right back because I I know best hee's have written me and gone thank you so much for writing me back, even when I do just like a heart and they go, thank you so much. You're the only person who has ever written back to me. No one, right, there are a lot of people that they don't write back to anyone. So I was like, and I was like, I was probably sad that day. It was during the pandemic. You wrote me a paragraph about having me on your show. I was getting too many inundations that week, and I was, and so I just wrote too busy. And because I wrote two words and I didn't write but thank you, which I know takes two seconds, I should have just written that. And now I learned, I'm always going to add it but thank you or sorry um, even though my voice lesson teacher just told me after I had to like change a voice. He's very strict and it's like, this is a college core. You can't be late, and this is not something that we you know, you show up for class and if you don't show for class, the class doesn't happen. You don't reschedule the class. Like he's very which I like that was his pitch to me the first day. So one time I had to reschedule it and ask him for a different time or I showed up for the wrong time and he was like, and I was like, I'm so sorry. I I will come back later. I can do it in this window. I'm so sorry again, my bad. I'm sorry to show up at your door. I didn't mean and he wrote back, he was just, he wrote back. What did he write back? Kristen um in the Dance of the Unknown, Like, let's dance be in the dance with these circumstances. Be in a dance with the circumstance. And I even told the girl's chad. I was like, he is going to kill me for this, like I am in deep trouble for this, and he was just And then we had our next lesson. He goes, before we start, I just want to talk about something really quickly, and I was like, oh, no, funck, I'm going to get reprimanded for being like late or something like thirty seconds. Like I'm so scared of this guy, or I used to be. And he's like, you are so hard on yourself, and I was like, I've heard this and he's like why, and I go, but why wouldn't I be when you tell me the first day of class that this is not a joke, you can't be late, this is a college course. I go, I don't understand why I get I get yelled at, not yelled at, but I get reprimanded by people by being like, you're so hard on yourself, but the world is hard on me, and I don't understand. So then then I'm hard on myself for being hard on myself, like I can't win. And so then he goes, you apologize too much, and I go, I'm never going to stop doing that. It's not that I'm sorry. I exist. I'm not like. I don't like these whole women that are like, never apologize, stop saying sorry. If I bump into you, I'm gonna say I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think it's better than pardoned or whatever you want me to say or excuse me. I'm Sandler joke. You're welcome. But isn't he talking about over apologizing? Yeah, yeah, it's like maybe insincere or what's his what's his point? You apologize too much? He just his point is that I will never be a good singer, if I am constantly punitive with myself because it's about relaxation, it's about being open, it's about like trusting, and it's about like it's like the editor the voices in you and the only thing you don't have anything to do with your voice you have to let get out of the way of it. It's in you. And that's like an interesting thing of like whatever talent you have, like if you want to play guitar, if you want to be a good writer, you already are. It's the you're getting in your way. Like it's you're doing things to prevent that talent from being found. There's no it's there. Yeah, he's really He honestly is like my therapist. We had that day that he talked to me about that we have an hour session and we spent forty five minutes talking about self love of and like self flagellation and just self um self deprecation like and unjust like and he told me about his marriage and he told me about his the loss of his you know losses he's had. It was just like and I go, I feel like this is that He was like, I go, I bet you do this with a lot he's like I do. But he also was like, there's something special. But we have like a good we have a really good bomb bond. But I almost said bomb. We have a great bomb that we're coming out with. It's on sale on Instagram. Yeah, if you use promo code. I hate myself. I'm sad you can get off your first one supply of our singers bomb. Um No, but Michael Rocchio is the ship and I love him so much. Um Anyway, what a show. Thank you Kirsten for being here. You have tried to kids sitting be in the dance with the circumstances. Kirsten, dance with the circumstance in a hunchback for four hours. Pizza, pizza, caffa and just get a kafa latta. I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna eat more root vegetables that are warm and grains. I'm gonna go walk more. But I don't cook. So we're going to get these soups, Meditate Whole Foods right down the street. Okay, I'm gonna do it, going there right now. Actually, I need to get some lunch, all right, let's do it. Okay, I gotta go. Thank you guys. So much for listening to show We'll be back tomorrow. Thank you so much. Don't and so I couldn't think of a jack for I want to just jack karaoke. Okay, okay, we got it.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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