#314 La Boom Lamaze

Published Feb 2, 2023, 1:00 AM

After an awful flight to Los Angeles Nikki is happy the hotel amenities include a giant bottle of seltzer and an orange in a brown bag. Before leaving St. Louis, she watched some of the new Pamela Anderson documentary and learned that Tommy Lee looks like Pam's dad. Nikki is really not into horoscopes and Anya believes it is a characteristic of her being a Gemini. They cover the difference between jealousy and envy. In Collection of Co'uhls they share first comments about their bodies as teens, their take on celebs cropping each other out of pictures, and talk about what on Nikki's rider that might make her a Diva and Anya's "dusty root of ginger".  Nikki gets coached on being on top during sex and in the Final Thought she explains how her boyfriend saved the day when she woke up on the wrong side of life. 

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The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Nick Here's Nicky. Hello here I am. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. Billy is a sex slave. Um, if you don't know what that means, you missed one episode and I can't help you out. I don't know which one either. Maybe I'll cover the story someday. Um. I am in Los Angeles, California, in my new hotel room. I usually stay at a different place here, or one of two places, and I picked a new place last night. Pretty decent. I like it Christ's pool table. I was gonna start saying the perks, and then I was like, people are gonna figure out where I am, but just try to find room a pool table in your room. No, oh my god, oh my god, that would be so cool. Um No, I don't have a pool table in my room, but I do have a paper bag with an orange in it. It's three oranges in it in a little paper bag that like a bag. And um, I don't know if this was free, but it was a giant of sparkly evan. And then there is also a giant still water. Now or do you think these are free? I'm gonna say if they're just out and there's not a different next to the oranges. Yes, I think they're free. They're like, bitch, she's got a problem. This would usually be like seventeen dollars this big glass bottle at one of these fatsy places. And they helped me the other day when I was staying at that hotel in New York and I was like, I just spent nineteen dollars on two bottles of Pelle Greeno because I didn't want to leave my hotel room. Please tell me it's okay. And you were so nice and you were like, here's how much it would cost to walk to a bodega. Here's how much it would cost to get the things at the bodega. So you actually saved money. Yeah, it's like I always just go. Would you pay that amount of money not to walk that far? Waste that time, do all those interactions, put on your coat, maybe get hit by a couple of cars, maybe get hit up by a homeless man for five bucks, Like okay, you just you might have saved money. Like I feel about it. It's always what I argue when people don't go to see like don't go to a concert they bought tickets for, or don't go on a trip they bought tickets for. You paid to know that you don't want to go, like you know more than anyone else, that you don't want to go, like if that makes sense, Like with my egg freezing thing, like they gave me my money back, but I would have been okay not with that money, because I paid two thousand dollars to know certainly that I don't want kids or that I don't want to do this right now, like and before, there would have just been this simmering all year long. I mean, it's been there, that's why even went. It's been there since I was probably since Natasha la Jaro told me at thirty eight you got to do it at thirty eight, and so it's been there for three years since she told me that. And so it's just nice to know that that's gone now. I actually got a nice d M about that very thing. Um today. Uh that's I'm not going to say who she said, not that you give a ship what a stranger has to say. I always give ships, which it's literally the only thing I care about is what strangers think of me. Because my friends and family they're gonna be nice because they love me and they're just gonna tell you what you want to hear because they want you to be happy. But strangers they shoot it too straight. So yes, I give. I give such a ship, she said, But I have been wanting to message about your egg freezing tobacco, and I'm so relieved for you on your decision. I got married last year. I'm thirty and told myself I had to decide about kids before marriage. I was overthinking, it's so hard. My now husband wasn't excited about kids, but didn't pressure either way. I have friends who are dying to have of them, so I figured, since I'm not, I am probably a no go. I kid you not. The second I decided no kids, the wave of relief was insane. So I totally get what you're saying. And within two months of my marriage, guess what he dropped out. He got a vasectomy. That's where I thought it was going, and I was like, I don't want to hear about you getting pregnant. Two months later, a miracle happened. I was like gearing up to be like congratulate and I don't really want to know this, but he got up the sect of me, and the relief was even better and life forever PSC and Charleston in March. Oh my god, thank you so much to the Bessie who I don't want to say your name, but you know who you are. Thank you so much for that message. And even if you had said you were gotten pregnant, I'm not gonna I was not going to be a bit about it. I would have been actually happy for you, because that would have given me hope that, like, let's say, I do want to get pregnant, it could just happen when I wanted to. Last night I was watching have you guys seen Pamela Not Yet? It's very good. She talks like this the entire film, and that's like a perfect Pamela Anderson. So she um, she's very just like smart and cool and just talks about you know, I'm up to the point where she met Tommy and you see pictures of her father. This is the first thing you see pictures of her as a kid. Her father is Tommy Lee. Like, it's just so undeniable what that women marry their fathers. It's not even let's stop acting like it's some Freudian little like mystery that we can't really talk about. We all want dad Dadda, we all want him. I mean, I said to Chris as we were watching it, I go, look how he looks like Tommy Lee and he goes, oh my god. And then it kept showing the next picture, then the next picture. This guy was like lanky, long alcoholic life of the party off houser Um. But then it got into their relationship and I'm I'm only halfway through it. But my point about this was, Oh in it, she was like, you know, they met in four days and then they got married within four days of meeting each other in Cancoon at a place called My God. I looked it up last night to be like, I wonder if that place is still around, because she kept saying like, that's where it is, that's the place. Hold on, I gotta see what it was named. Where's my history of searches. I searched for La Boom. She kept being like, there's La Boom. Yes, when I was like fourteen. It's like it was like, I think a famous nightclub or something. That's where Tommy Lee and Pam met. I'm sure that they really they had a long life after that. So I looked up if La Boom is still around? It closed in two thousand five. But La Boom is you know, mentioned many times in this So they got married at La Boom and they met at La Boom, and they didn't meet at La Boom, they met in l A. But then he like he literally stalked her to Cancoon. I don't know if you've seen Pam and Tommy the like not the the other show. But I got only that far in that and then I was like, I'm let out of this um. But La Boom was where they who cares anyway? They and then they instantly want kids and she's like pregnant, she like has a miscarriage, and then because of the paparazzi like stalking her about the tape because right when the tape, I think it was like right when the no she was working on a movie and doing eighteen hour days, and it was like I didn't even know she had a miscarriage, but she was like talking about like you know, I'm pregnant, but I can't stop and I gotta do these I have to do Baywatch and barbed Wire. She's shooting her first movie, and she was like, you just had to do eighteen hour days. It's just the way it is. And I just said to christmascarriage, there's no way, there's no way you can't work eight hours a day and then boom not. I'm not saying I'm a doctor or anything, but man, I protected that and La boom and then she got printed again and then had the baby. And right when she's having the baby, the sex tape comes out. But like as she's like pregnant and like having a baby in this show, I start like crying and I'm like I want to be pregnted. It was just like what is going on with me? Yes, push push push. It's like Lama's constantly la boom. I got married at Lamas Camcoon. It is like the beat of a sucking song that would be at La boom. Um. Yeah, I get like start tearing up, and I'm like, I don't I don't even want to start crying, like actually crying, like the kind that like get your boyfriend to go what's wrong because he was so tired and I didn't want to bother him with my fucking tears and um, and I cried a lot that day about other stuff. So I was just like, you know, it's just like a rough day. But then I was just like crying about like she was just like so happy to be pregnant, and I was just crying because I'm like, I'll never get to be like there's a bump in here and like making home videos. It was like, you did this to me, Like I want to do that. I just want, you know, like sometimes when Chris like does something on me, I'll be like you did this to me, Like I'll make jokes about like look what you did, or like I get a u T I I'm like, look what you did? You know, I want to be able to say that about like a cute little baby bump. So there's like things like that that I'm just like, I'm just jealous of like women looking pregnant and getting to be like I'm a sexy lady with a little baby bump. Like I just she looked so cute with her little bump and then their baby like he Tommy was just so sweet. I was just like jealous and I literally had to turn it off and I was like I'm just gonna go google a boom or something and then um, but yeah, it's it's good and she's so smart and cool and it's just disgusting what we do with women in there, but like we just I think we own women's bodies and that's all we care about. Like they just showed up montage of like the only thing she was ever asked about in her career were her boobs and if they were fake, and she even said they're fake, because she did one interview, well not even once. She was just always so honest. She just didn't see any shame in having a boob job or like anything she had done. So when people would ask questions, she would just give them the honest answer, and and that came back to bite her because then people thought that they could always just ask her about that, and that she was the whore that everyone just got to ask whatever kind of sex questions they wanted because she was honest, and BOYD would relate to that. I can only imagine, like how much sexual harassment she experienced in Hollywood, because you know, she was on Playboy. She was the hot Chicken home improvement, Like her whole essence was hot, and I can only imagine the abuse she took. Mountains of it. I mean, I I suffer a lot of it, like after shows with men saying gross things to me because of what I've talked about on stage and thinking they can just like kind of you know, you put something out there or I have specials about sex, and like they just think they like yesterday I did a radio interview and they were like getting into it and they're like, and you know it's they were talking about some thing before I could hear. They were like, they'll bring you in your on the on hold, They'll bring you in thirties. You know, I minute to a minute thirty. So I'm just listening to the show on hold. And then they're like transitioning from one segment to the other, and they're like, and then it's going to get all over your face. Speaking of getting all over your face, I don't know if that's the right transition. Not feels right to me. I'm just like okay, yeah, yeah, Like it's just you get like I feel bad for porn stars. I mean, Pam Anderson at least you know she did post Newton Playboy asking for it. No, I mean she she she was on the verge of that, like the next level up. I just talk about pornography and talk about my sex life. There's no difference between me and a porn star. If you're blind, there's none if you're a blind person. I described my sex life to the degree of a porn star reveals there. So it's like, I'm so blind. People always harass it. I'm just kidding. Um, they're they're just trying to feel it's my aerial, that's there's like brailer on them. Um, but you do. I think we all have those little bombs. No, yeah, welcome to Yeah those I don't know why. I'm assuming it's in many languages. Yeah, mindset is the prices for a lot of days at Starbucks. Um, yeah, it's ah it, it's it's disgusting just because you think. I mean, we do this with everything in society, like any tell me your comedian, tell me a joke. You're like, we just I think celebrities people sign up for that because they certainly want fame, Like you can't. I get a little bit annoyed what I hear people say I wanted to be famous, but I did. I did want to be famous, and so it's like part of what you sign up for is having part of being famous that people don't consider when their seven, when they decide they want to be this and by the way, they want to be it because their parents didn't give them enough attention. It's really a sad thing why they want to be famous. That's why. It's not because they think they have a gift to give the world. They gotta figure that out later. It's it's it's because they don't like themselves. Okay, that's why people want to be famous. But when you want to be famous, um yeah, you don't understand how much people. People in my own Instagram comments will write, she changed her face. I don't get it, and I'm like, I'm right here, I'm writing this on a message board. I am me, what is the she stuff? I'm like, I some one goes, she changed her face. I don't like it, and I go, I'm sorry. I aged like literally the pictures, there's no one to get all the stuff has fallen out of my face that I've done. It's like I changed my face, I got in visiline and I've aged go suck my fucking dick that I also got chopped off. Um, I none of your business. Remember the other day when we were walking in the park with Kirsten and she's like, you know, the left side of your body is your mom and the right side is your dad. And we were like what, she goes, yeah, it's true. The left side is all your dad's features and the right is your mom. And you're like, that's hated this thing so much. I was like, that's why my dick is on my left side or something. What did I say on my right? On my right? You're like, I did get my dick from my dad. It's so that was I just like some of this woo woo stuff. Kerson is listening for sure, because she's an avid listener. Just you know it's not true too, but you're a nicer friend, so you go, oh, that's interesting, and I don't know, maybe there's something to it, like on have you ever heard the left side of your body's your like it's then we would all look like, you know, Picasso's walking around with different side face. That's just not true. It's a nice thought that makes it's all the same as tarot and palm reading. It gives you a way to interpret your life in a way you want it to be interpreted, but it's not real. Everything is so different. Everyone's you know, genetics express themselves differently. Is there anything that you believe in that you think might be bullshit. Um, the personality type stuff that we do a lot of times, that seems I mean, it's based on a test you take where they are answers and you fit into a category that to me feels not you know, I'm not going to base my entire life off of it, but it feels a lot more uh, scientifically sound than mercury is in retrograde. And I'm a Libra with my aries rising bullshit, And I'm sorry to my listeners to believe in it, because I don't know what happened that. You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any of that bullshit, but you believe in star like the that the month you were came out of your mom something happened like that you are now the same that you're I just in all of it's just a money making cash cow if I wanted, if I wanted to get rich quick, I'd come up with a way to put the astrological signs on everything. Here's water for geminis, here's water for aries, here's uh backpacks that only aries? Can people love two things that are them? Like on Instagram, I don't even believe in any of the stuff. I don't look at any of it yet I am inundated with like memes, like Gemini memes, or like sad is your what are you guys supposed to be like two personalities? Right, you're a Gemini. Yeah, they're all the same, though I don't ever see a difference between any of these signs. They're always like, oh, these ones are loyal and these ones are crazy, and these ones are like it's either you're loyal or you're crazy. Those are the tying to talk to Taylor McGraw about this, because she's the one that's such a virgo libra caspania, And I'm like, wait, how do you know? And this is how they get. You like to hear about yourself. Everyone likes to hear anything about themselves. That's what they get to Wait, what what do they say? You're like very perfectionistic in particular. You'll leave a dogs that are like a three page long instruction manual, And I'm like, guilty of people leave their dog people a three page thing? No, noah, noah, do you uh not three pages but definitely a full page with a lot of details. Okay, exactly. I also do that, but I text it later on, like is there a different Wow, you're Gemini's Like what does that say? You give a shit about your dog and everyone else doesn't. Like they're all flattering things, even if it's like you're a little crazy, but it's what makes you you and you get ship done, Like there's always a no no sign is just like you're a psychopath. What about Ted Bundy? What's his sign? What about Waite? John Wayne Gayesy? Is he a loyal virgo or whatever? The capricornie loves his work? Yeah, I know someone that's so mad at me. You know someone smart and kind of you're a Capricorn. If you know someone who's smart, they love astrology like they live by it. And I'm like, how you are so scientifically motivated telling you Taylor is too. So maybe there's something to it. I don't know. We're not going to figure it out here today. Besties, Give me some solid give me some don't give me paragraphs because I know you're a virgo or whatever. Give me links to things that really will prove that it's real, because I don't. It seems just as unbelievable as Jesus Christ and Christianity and which I'm also don't judge you if you're into it kind of do but I'll say I don't. We gotta go to break. I'll be right back into So. My horoscope today says that I am going to go on a tirade about horoscopes. No, I like, I love taking personality tests. I love anything. I mean, I am very susceptible to things that are like you're this, and you're like, I'm special, I'm different than other people who bring it on. Do you like it more when there is a test involved or when you just read something? Yeah, I wanted to actually assess me and my yes, because I want some I wanted to know me. I just don't believe that when I came out of my mom's puss and was like, like then my whole personality was set in motion. I also find it very fascinating though, that I would have said, probably a year ago, your personality is based on your parents, how they raise you, and what environment you grew up in. But now that is disproven and it doesn't have literally almost no bearing on it on your personality. Your personality is genetics or the stars. Who knows. But I used to think that, like that's such a Gemini think to say, Nick, No, I was just being facetious when I said that, but um actually sarcastic because it was laced with like a little bit of anger. Um. That's the difference between facetious and sarcastic. In case you didn't know, I didn't know. And did you know the difference between jealous and envy. Have we covered that on here? Jealous is when you want something. No, no, you think you're gonna lose something. Yeah. Envy as when you want something. Yes. It's just a good one to know because I went thirty eight years of my life always saying I'm jealous of that thing, and it was wrong because I didn't have that thing. I'm jealous if my boyfriend talks to a girl that I think he's going to leave for me. I'm envious if I see if I'm single and I see a girl dating a hot guy and I'm like, I'm envious of her. I'm not jealous of her because I'm not loose. I don't have anything to lose. Just a little interesting. Yeah, we don't use envy as a much. It's kind of the raven and Crow of language totally. They are the raven and crow. But there is a difference. One is so gthe um, but facetious and sarcastic. It's the same thing of where you're being like, wow, this room is so big. What do you think that it's sarcastic or facetious. I'm gonna say facetious. It was sarcastic because I'm being mean because I'm saying this room is small. So facetious is like if I was like chugging this and I was like mmmmmmm, god I am. I'm not thirsty at all, Like I'm not being mean to anyone, Like it's not like shipping on anyone. Like, but if I'm like, wow, you're so smart, sarcastic, it's a little I love if anyone else has any of those that often get misconstrued, I would love for you to tell them to the show. Um. Another word, it gets um. I think that gets confused. A lot that we brought into the world is I think a lot of things get called that aren't, which brings us into collection of curse. Getting ready so I can hear Taylor in that now I hear someone new every time that all right person and Taylor um, and then I think maybe someone else but it's I think everyone submitted to that, all the girls that were on the original thing. Yeah. Halla, Okay, so no one's going to read us some headlines. Um, I'm guessing from celebrities because these are mostly who is generating because out there in the world, celebrities, these people. Ever, I have some like current events stories. Okay, so let's see if these things are or not. Meaning you think you're cool and you're only doing something to appear cool. Of Virginia high school basketball coach puts on the uniform of a thirteen year old student who happened to be out of town so that she could play in a tournament against fourteen year olds. Is she being could for wanting to win so bad? What did she get? Like busted for doing this? She got fired along, No, she got fired along with the other coaches. So she actually tried to come off like she was a thirteen year old. She was playing in a tournament. She was doing layups and like jumping into the crowd to catch a ball. Jealous that she even could pass as a thirteen year old girl, like at all. Wait, hold on, hold on, I'm envious because I don't have Wait, I'm jealous because I have youth to lose. Maybe I don't know, Okay, I'm I'm both about this woman who even if someone was like, here, put do this and try to act like a thirteen year old, I'd be like, there's no fucking way anyone would believe that. Does she looks she's twenty two? I could it's just like a fifty three. For some reason, Why did I put that in there? Uh no, she just put on the uniform of a thirteen year old student at twenty two. Um, this is not because it wasn't done to get attention. It was done to like get I mean, it's done to get a championship or whatever, or to get in the fin like to win. But it wasn't done to be like, Look, she wasn't gonna tell anyone she did it, you know what I mean. She's trying not to get caught. Yeah, but how far into the game did she get caught? I wonder I think she played the whole thing. Oh my RIGHTNIT think she is? She can pass for a thirteen year old. Two. I think I know some twenty two year olds that could probably pass for thirteen. Put your hair up right, you don't have makeup on but still, I mean, you could probably pass for thirteen. Anya, you totally and so could you know you guys are both short enough, you totally could thirteen. I was were you guys a tiny tiny at thirteen or were you like coming did you? I was so misshapen at thirteen? Oh god, I started to get misshapen around fifteen. Yeah, I would say sixteen for me. Wait thirteen? What what? What had come in? What hadn't? Yeah, that's all Pam Anderson said she had. She kept trying to push it back into her chest, and she was it was readying herself to tell her mom she had cancer. Oh, because she definitely thought it was the cancer because it was just this one lump that showed up. She was trying to push it back in. What did you have? No, uh, thirteen, I don't think I really had boobs, but I remember, yeah, like my my legs were so we're like so skinny for my body, and I just like had to wear like irregular clothes. Like I just remember having irregular clothes. My mom bought from Daffy's. Daffy's that sounds terrible, whatever that place is, duck Wear. It was just like I think, like an early day, or like New York City, like what t J max is where they just have like it's like a graveyard for clothing. That didn't mean, yeah, we had value city, that's our wages to go. And I hated it because it was I mean, which is at least it was still new. Some of you kids have to just only shop at Goodwill, um, which my mom would fucking love Goodwill, baby dale on a candle and some job person. God, do you remember the first thing someone said about your body sexually, like when you were a child, like the first time like some or even a boy said, yes, it was it your dad. Yes, I knew it. I knew it. Fucking That's why I'm here on a podcast. That's why I exist in your consciousness. That's where we're friends. Catch on the beach in a bikini, the first bikini I ever got, which earlier that day, his mom, who was a very shy grandma, said to me, oh, gosh, you look so gorgeous. And I was embarrassed about that. But then later that day I was playing catch with my dad on the beach. Maybe I was fourteen, and we both have our baseball mits and we're playing catch and he goes, he throws to me. I catch. He goes, hey, what's the weight? And I throw it back to him. I go what weight? And he goes what's the weight and points to my body and I'm like, huh. And this is like in a public area. People are there. I throw the ball back and I just ignore him. He goes, what's the weight? I go me. He goes yeah, and I throw the ball back. I go and he goes, throws me the ball and goes perfect body and puts his thumb up. Seared into my mind. Read that like a Ibsen play Jesus Christ. You had stage directions and everything. God, can't you feel the pacing? I I feel so uncomfortable. I'm so sorry, Thank you God. And then you're like, I gotta stay that. It's the perfect way. I gotta say that at fourteen, I have to maintain the way I am at fourteen? What could go wrong there? Noah, do you remember any sexual comments made about your body by Anya's dad? He said he wanted to drink me like a glass of comput I'm I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I don't like I think. I just remember walking around with my with my friend, and it was like when we were teenagers and we would like sneak putting on makeup and like doing our hair and wearing Stuarts skirts and just like walking around Brooklyn and just getting like honks or comments from cars. It was I don't I think like we thought that we that this is what was supposed to happen. Yeah, yeah, of course, because you probably witnessed it happening to women other than you saw it on TV. I mean you see all these things that you're like, oh, I'm a woman, finally I'm getting harassed. Yeah, people driving by who It's just so funny that they just think you might fuck them if they honk at you or something like. It's just I know that joke has been done a million times by like comedians of like what do these construction workers think you're going to trust around and be like okay, let's go like let's fuck Like it's just they can't help themselves. Um. My first one was sweet and it was also from my dad, fruity in um and I was eating soup, I think tomato soup. And I was in a swimsuit again and swimsuit but I did not wear bikinis. Until I was like thirty seven and a half. But um, I was in just a normal suit, so I wasn't asking for it. On Yeah, you fucking slept for daddy. Your grandma fucking groomed you earlier that day. Just go out for your dad and play fetch with him. Make sure you run in slow motion. I've been watching this new show called Baywatch. Um so no, I was sitting. It was after we went swimming that day, and then I was eating tomato soup, and um, I probably told this on the podcast before, So I forgive me because it's a pivotal moment of my life. Um And I was probably fourteen or fifteen because of the time, just because of what he said. But he goes and it was just me and my maybe my friend was there. I know, my sister was there. My mom was there. She was making the soup and grilled cheese tomato soup and grilled cheese, delicious combo. And I was so hungry and so excited, and my dad said, well, Nick, you're really getting some boobs there. Oh and I froze. I remember the spoon hovered over above the soup with a spoonful of it about to go in my mouth. I froze, I dropped slash through the spoon into the soup, and I said, why would you say that? Disgusting? And then I screamed and I ran to my bedroom and I heard my mom going, why would you say that that's disgusting? E J And he was, I don't know, want like so sad, so scared. I ran to my bedroom. I did not have a lock on my door, and so I slammed it and then I laid against it, you know, like with my back against it, sobbing, because I wasn't going to get to finish lunch because of what I had just done. Like obviously I can't get the soup in my bedroom because I'd have to open the door and my dad would then see me. So I was like already mourning that I was not gonna eat get to eat. And also he was just through the door being like Nicky, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say anything, and I was like, why would you say that it's so gross? He was like nick I just remember him going, oh, nick I don't I don't know, I like really embarrassed, And then I felt embarrassed for him. Because he was just obviously had no clue that you don't say that. My mom was just screaming at him about not screaming, but just like really shaming him about saying anything. He had no fucking idea. He like squirrels want boobs, you know, like he was probably like in the same way that they're like, Nikki, you got a boyfriend and like any of that. I would always go like fucking like, I would scream and cry because I just didn't want to be sexualized in any way. So then he left. That's what I don't understand, Like why did these parents think. I think of all the time we asked little girls, do you have a boyfriend? Little boys, do you have a girlfriend? Do you like any boys? Like that's kind of stuff. I used to hate those questions too, Please don't ask the little girls. So the questions were in kindergarten. We don't have boyfriends yet, We don't are sexual. Organs are not like working, our hormones are not suggesting that we want penises in us yet, So stop sexualizing children. My dad didn't know, though. He's a sweet, sweet guy, just like your dad didn't know he Your dad's like obsessed with weight. It was clearly like he was projecting um, but I don't remember. Yeah, my dad just does not. Ah, sometimes he does. I left when Bill maher he said vava va boom, and I go, we don It was like but it was more funny because now I just go like, dad, gross, It'll be like funny now when he does it because I make incests jokes about my dad. Dress the other day that was tits magee and I had no bra and you were like, what do you think of this? Dad? And I was like, gig gee, as my dad what he thought of that? I had no interest in what he thought. Oh that's right. He goes out like that or he goes that. One's kind of no going in. I was only doing it for my mom. I don't care what my dad has this. I mean, it's sweet if my dad thinks I look cute, but like I don't want my dad to be like, yeah, this lingerie dress looks great on you, Like I just would rather not him comment on it. Oh I didn't. I selled him not to comment on that one because I had no bra underneath, and I was like, if you like this, it's gross. If you don't like this might be only hurt. You don't say anything. I can't wear bra with it. My mom goes, you've got to wear a bra and there's no back to it, and I go, well, I don't know what you want from me, and nipples are a crime. And I'm so tired of posting pictures on Instagram and if we can go back to because I'm so tired of posting pictures on Instagrams and people and people saying looks a little cold in there. Care I know if my nipples hard, that's why I posted it. I think it's hot. I don't care what or it's not why I posted it. I don't care if my nipples hard. It doesn't matter. Stop saying that. No bestie would ever say that. So I'm talking into like the thin air. But um but I do want to say like after So I waited hours in my bedroom and then I finally left it. I remember walking into the den area where we all watch TV as a family, and my dad was in there and sixty Minutes was on and we just didn't say anything. And for like twenty five years we said nothing. And then I think one time we were drinking as a family and I was remember when you said I had I was getting some boobs, and he was like, it was the worst day of my life. I'll never live down that shame. He was so sad about it. Yeah, we it was so bad. It was because it was we had never gotten into a fight that we didn't work through or like talk about as a family, like that was one where it just happened and then like we didn't discuss. Okay, let's keep going on kiss. Sorry for the side track, no problem, it's a good segue. Uh. Speaking of photos posted to Instagram, Kim Kardashian cuts Jennifer Lopez out of her snap with Oprah at a Star studied Hollywood party. So it turns out the j Lo posted the photo and then Kim posted on her so here it is, Oh my god, I love this already. She even put it up to the shoulder part of Oprah where you could not even get a slice of Jlo's dress. So he was like it when was this? This was? Um, you know who Anastasia is, like, she has that makeup line. Yes, she was having a party. It was also happened to be Oprah's birthday, that's right, Oprah sixty nine. Yes, and everyone there had to sixty nine each other, just like on her sixtieth everyone had to do a tequila shot. That's true, that's kind of okay, that's ka okay naka. I think it's cool. Who cares about j Lo? Obviously there's like a beef there, Like there's there's gotta be a beef there because there's no way Kim would cut her out otherwise. Kim says that it was the instagram sizing God, everything through eighteen filters, willy nilly, like my dad, where things get cropped, Like even when I post something. The other day, I was going through one of my you know post where I did like ten pictures and one of the pictures was like crop my head off because it moved when I went into edit it, and I was like, oh my god, like and I'm barely I'm not that vigilant about this stuff. I'm good about it, but I'm not Kim Kardashian levels of like I'm going to change the bathroom tiling so that it doesn't look bet so that you can't tell that I put in my waist. I mean, she is doing things to pictures that you know she's she's Annie Leeba witzing picture. She's she is doctoring photos. She is, there's no way, what does that even mean? Instagram crop did that way? No, it didn't. And by the way, it didn't crop it in too Oprah's natural shoulder line. It cropped it further in where you wouldn't even get a little sliver of j Low's dress. This is brilliant. It's not the lit Ki. But what are you gonna say? I don't like j Lo, but she does not like jl And it's awesome because j Lo speaking of that one story where she was had a dance um holding dance auditions, and she asked everyone in the room who had been working for hours already at this audition. They're not being paid for, she asked. She finally gets there, they all applaud and she's like, thank you so much for being here. I'm such a natural girl just from the Bronx, Like, I'm so natural and normal and cool. And then she asked them scorpios. I think it was a scorpios. She's like, if you're scorpio, raised your hand, yeah, And she asked them all to raise their hand and then she goes, Okay, you can go home, and she said and This is a story from a woman that was there. She's a comedian that was there at that dance for her audition, and she said that tons of people they all raised their hands because they thought she was gonna be like these are my girls, Like she was gonna like what a crazy person, not a good person. If I ever met her, I would be nice to her. I think she's super talented. I do think she can sing, unlike everyone else that hates her thinks she can't sing. I think she's a good actress. I think she can sing. I think she can dance. I'm jealous of her multiple talents. But I think she is a bad person to fascinated by celebrities superstitions like I could. I could not get enough of these stories. Remember Mariah Carey, there was a legend that she had to have white vanilla candles in every hotel room. Like any story like that I have to know about if you know of any more. Yeah, sometimes celebrities writers or well you got to do you ever go into mo Yeah once in a while. Story too much to sift through for me. I know it's a lot of like celebrities that you're like, I don't care about this that's no fucking Netflix show that's gonna get canceled next week. But um, they have a lot of celebrities writers show up in there, and um, I'm so it would be so funny to see my writer show up on DEMI because people would just be like, what the fuck. It's like, the place where I get really diva is my rice cakes because I can't stand. I really love Quaker Oats rice cakes plain or lightly salted. I like the consistency. I like how thick they are. They have a perfect amount, like they absorb enough of the cream cheese on top that it's delicious. The ones that Whole foods, Whole food sells Lundberg. If you're someone who eats Lundenburg, uh like round they either scared. The square ones are not bad, but they're not thick enough, okay, But Lundberg round ones are eating gravel. They're just you know, congealed gravel. They're disgusting. I will not have them in every every place. If unless you put on the writer, Hey not Lundberg, please no Lundberg, I'll just go. It'll just go to waste. And so I look like a huge diva. But it's like it's like I just want to eat some thing that I want to eat, so I always feel bad with that, like stipulation. And then um, I have kind bars, I have zevi as ginger root beer. I have um We used to have turkey sandwiches for Andrew because he used to just like whatever he and he and he was kind of easy. He just eats whatever is in front of him because he didn't care like what was there. And so it would be funny to see what each venue interpreted as a turkey sandwich, Like where they would go, what kind of turkey sandwich they would get. Um Anya has like a root of ginger, so they have to buy it, like they have to go out into the earth and pull out a dusty root of ginger. She has tea what else. Just we started doing that the other day because it just showed up at a venue and you and I were like, oh my god, this is kind of fun delicious, and then we together we're like, we should put this on the rider. But I do like how I sound more diva ish in your retail. It's not divash. I'm just saying it's a funny thing to put on the funny they had to pull it out of the ground. Yeah, they have to go out to a barn Northeast and you have to be um, yeah, I don't ever get. I don't want an Air's hands on my ginn room. Um wait, what what other things are on it? What do we have? Um? Yeah, we have Zevia. We have it's pretty pellegreeno. Yeah, eight things of Pellegrino six. It's so basic, like nothing fans. Oh. The funniest is when people in states that have never heard of a vegan which there are just a couple of places cream cheese. Yeah, we have vegan cream cheese. And then the other day we were in Memphis and the woman goes, um and I brought She texted me, she goes, I got this. I hope this is cool for Nikki. I'm about to check out and she sends a picture of a huge tub of ricotta and I was like, no, no, no, She's like, that's in place that they don't have vegan cream cheese. So I don't know vegan ricotta so much. She's not wrong, but it's gotta be vegan. I love the consistency. I'm not kidding you. If you want to know the best goddamn snack girls, guys, I don't care who you are if you're like someone who's into consistency. I thought I was a weirdo because I liked this and it was like a thing that I found that I liked was cream cheese on these uh Quaker oats things. I'm not kidding you. Taylor has tried it. People have tried. I gave it to Ben Gleeb the other day and they were like, this is amazing tofoudie cream cheese on top of a Quaker oats lightly salted, or you can get whatever kind of like flavor you want, lightly salted or no salt. Uh rice cake. It is a delicious snack. And I used to feel a lot of shame about it, but it really is the like I've had so many people go oh my god, because because that's just like rice cakes equal, people think you're anarexic or trying to lose weight. I just like a puff. I like the consistency of something that's like styrofoam. I've always liked it. I like my mom got Yoki the other night. I'm like, oh, I like this because it's like hydrogenated, it's like puffy. I like things that are like moosy, moosy goosy. Okay, one more sure. A new study new research out of Australia shows that the endangered male Northern qual are giving up sleep for more sex and it could be killing them. Are the calls being qual for risking their dj quals? Was in the movie broad Trip. Here, let me show you it's like a mare super bird. Oh it's giving up slate for more sex. No way with this. It looks like it needs a little shut at. It looks like it has like spots on it. It's so cute. It looks like a big rat with mouse ears and someone sprayed all over. Yeah and yeah, dumped bleach all over like has dots on it. Okay, So that these things are not getting enough sleep because they're because they probably know they have to reproduce or they're going to die. Well yeah, and and they travel far for sex and stuff. The female qualls don't. It's like me in my twenties, or let's be honest a couple of years ago. Um, First of all, you know, an animal can't be could because they have no sense of like what other people think about them. So it's impossible for an animal to beca like you need to have like an ego to Bika. Um, but I will say that, Um, I can't imagine. When I'm tired, sex is like the last When you're hungry or tired, you don't want to have sex, and sometimes that your partner is not tired though, and that's when you say just take one for the team and you say I'm just gonna lay here and he says as opposed to what you go, OK, Well, that hurt my feelings, but also you're not wrong, because I do just kinda like I can get it. Um if I sort of got if someone was like Nikki's in a coma and she will be the rest of her life, Chris will be like, we all will have the same sex life that we have have had. Believe that's true. You seem so like vivacious. I mean no, I just I like being being fucked. I don't like. I don't want to like. I don't want to grind like. I don't want to set the the I'm in control in every other place of my life. In bed, I don't want to be in control. I don't or do you pretenduously? No, my eyes are open, I'm not like and I'm interactive. I mean, I'm if if I'm tired, I always get into it. Like I'll start off being like, okay, I'm just gonna lay here like all my stomach and just like read my phone, and I'm like, just do it, but um no, I always get interactive. It's just like I just that's why I would. The only thing that I'll never know is all my friends like how they are in bed, because everyone like kind of doesn't like to talk about do what you do. I think there's a lot of people relating. I think a lot of women get on top and like to be like really yes, yes, no, uh okay. But it's not that I like it. I just preferred because that's the way I can have an orgasm the easiest. But I also just enjoy laying there. But I'm not that much in the mood because everyone do off the bed where they're standing off the bed and you're laying on the bed with your butt scooched to the edge of I'm always afraid I'm going to like fall off when that happens. I don't like it. I can't even concentrate. You're laying on your bed on the back, on your back scooch to the side. They're standing at the side of the bed, and then on my back. You're on your back on the side of the and then they're standing like this. I just feel like more of your body is off the bed and you're like, yes, yes, this is fun. Ever, you don't slip off the bed. No, this bed has a lot of friction, like a there's a good amount of friction, and if you do, you just scoop back up and then they're like this, right, why how do you guys ever do that? Yeah, I'm sure I've tried that, but I'm not kidding you of the sex I have is that and your legs are up like that, like crouched up by your ears like child's behind. I can do happy baby. They call that happy baby. And yoga. Oh wow, you're going for it full nikky, like a flower folded like a little pretzel. Okay, well that's not just laying there. Well that's it is is I'm not doing anything that's like a yanger yoga. But wait, I don't understand. If people aren't doing that, what is the sex you're having truly laying there like like they're on top, like they're like this like this. Yeah, I don't. I worry about my partners like strength and like the exercise. It makes them feel strong. You gotta get a strap on because you're good at thrusting like your town you'd do. I'd be attracted to you if I was real, les man. Really, yeah, that was like you put in some effort right there. What I mean? That was just a basic thrust? Do you think that was actually like impressive? Yeah, Like you're underselling yourself. You're asking I don't understand what I would do if I was on top, Like I don't understand doing, but I don't understand. Okay, So you get on top of this, No, are your knee your legs are bent, so your shins are flushed with the bed? Right? Yeah? Okay? And then do you bounce like with your no no no no no, I am leaning forward forward into the wall. Okay. And then when you do from the how do you get any moved from us? Grind it? Yeah, just grind tend you with gleb right now, you're dancing with the stars. Grinding you're dancing right now. I know. Um, I came as soon as you said glad, I didn't have to do anything. Wait, you're you're grind. You're grinding. Are you grinding your clip against something? Yes, they're mound. They're like, you know, above their dick. That's not enough, that's harder, hard enough. It's it's skin. Well, it's there is a bone under there. Okay, I'm gonna try this tonight. Yeah, so okay, you literally shins flat against the surf us. Yes, you lean forward? What are you leaning again? Are you leading? Are you laying on this kind of he's like on the headboard or whatever, he's like up against her. Oh, he's sitting up like he's reading a journal. He's reading a journal setting up against his bed headboard or the business section of the New York Times. Wait, wait, you're obvious flat or the guy that we're talking about. Yes, And basically what I do is I'll either like go off to the side a little bit and I'll like mash my head up like into the mattress. And then he's just like just waiting for you to finish at this point, like he's not really uh no, he always lets yeah, like he like I come first and then we'll take care of him. But he's like holding onto my butt or something. So he's also helping me move it. Got it? Got it? Okay. Interesting, I don't think I've ever taken control roll of myself coming. It's cool because you can also get a thing up your butt that way. Yeah, I've never been one to be like I gotta make myself come. Like I'm always like, you make me come. Try it? That makes any sense, you might be into it. Also flipping topics real quick. Actually we're gonna go to break because I have something that I need to ask Anya about that she said very confidently last week, and I took her at her word, and then yesterday I go, that ain't true, and we'll be back with that right up this. So the other day were I was doing my hair in the dressing room backstage, and I was like, I haven't cut my hair for over a year, year and a half. It's you know, at about um under boob length. And Anya said, yeah, your hair stops growing your hair eat. Everyone's hair has a certain length that will grow and then it stops. And I was like, oh, that makes sense because it's not getting any longer from that point, and I've been growing it forever, you know, forever. It just stays at that length. My thing is then why do my roots get dark if my hair ain't grow it to get it touched up? Well, that is a great point. What a great point that no one has made ever in the history of this question or topic. The answers don't. I don't know, but I do know that eyelashes do the same thing. They like fall They fall out a lot, a lot more than you think. You're losing eyelashes all the time, and they're growing in, But where are they. I can't see the ones growing in because they're blended in with the others. Yes, So I think what's happening with your hair is pieces, Like some of my air is turning. It is all dark at the top, and I just got breaking on yesterday. I think it just breaks at a certain point. It can't. I think it is still growing, but that it And there are pieces that get really long, but I end up cutting them. And those are just the ones that are the strongest, that have made it to this because my hair up here very thick. Down here not so much. Because these babies have it's like people humans lives. These babies are in their hundreds and not many people make it to their hundreds. You know what, I mean with the Darwinian fittest. So I think it just gets they just they break off, as opposed to your hair just stops growing. And honest answer, you have never googled this? No, I haven't either, but I don't need to google it because the proof is that I have to get my hair touched up every four weeks. It a hundred percent is growing. And it's not like some of the hairs are hair grow to like their shins, and some people do not because they have stronger hair that they don't die all the time. I think my hair would also go to my shins if I wasn't bleaching it all the time, right and like, and if it wasn't a certain texture that it is or whatever. Like some people's hairs is just strong. And I hear that some people, no matter how little they dye their hair, and no matter how many hair supplements they take, they are not genetically able to grow their hair all the way to their feet even if they wanted to. And some people are that I think it's breaking off. Well, I think that's true, because I think it's breaking But I don't think your hair stops growing at the root, because why does any then no, one would need haircuts anymore. No, this is not This is not something that's up for debate. It is your hair does keep growing. It does. So that's why I was because I totally believed you. I was like, oh, I guess my hair has a limit. Yeah, just stop scrolling that that. I was getting it done yesterday, and I was like, wait a second, Okay, I thought I had read that that everyone's hair just stops growing at a certain point. But does it all just decide to break it? Because it's just you know, it's it's almost like age. Why does everyone decide to start dying around eighty Like it's just like this is the place where it starts to interfere with like making, with cooking when you were by a fire as a caveman, when your babies would start pulling on it, like it probably is evolutionarily, like this is a place where hair doesn't need to like keep going. It's not serving you any purpose. Maybe I don't know. I was at the hair salon yesterday getting it done, and hair salon's I was already depressed yesterday. I woke up on the wrong side of my life, and like, I went into that hair salon and just see all of these women like getting their hair done. It made me so sad. I'm just like, and it made me sad that I can't enjoy it because I know some of these women are like, I'm getting my hair done. Even on our girls chat, like everyone's like, you'll feel so much better after you get your hair done. I feel literally nine times worse after I get my hair done. I just spent my money on something stupid that it is a thing that men don't have to spend their money on, or as much money on. I feel like I got hoodwinked by, Like whatever gloss I bought, my hair is always wet. I don't want them to brush it because it's going to rip out more hair because their hair salice are never as gentle with your hair as you are. Um and it takes too long because they do like one strand at a time, And I'm just like, I'm fast. I even blow dry my hair fast, which doesn't seem possible. It seems like there should be a limit to how quickly you can blow dry your hair. I'm fast as fuck. I don't know what other people are doing. Um, And it just made be kind of sad. Um Uh like that first of all, that all these women have to do this, but then all of them seem to be enjoying it. And then I got mad like why can't I enjoy it? And then I was like I was so sad yesterday I couldn't. There was like a nice cashier that was like, did you do anything fun this weekend? And I go, what this coming weekend? Or like last weekend? It was Tuesday. I'm like, it's it's almost like saying Happy New Year in February. I'm like, I don't know that. I want to talk about last week and I go, yeah, I went to New York. Oh, so what's your favorite place you've ever been to? What's your favorite place you've ever performed at? I mean, they know mean, and I just was like, I guess New York. I don't know, like I like I was. I just like there's sometimes these questions which are sweet, like that's actually a nice question. I went to the Orthodonosa other day and she goes, what's the what's the coolest what's the thing you've done that you've been Like, I can't believe I'm doing this show, Like, what's the coolest show you've ever done? And that was an interesting question. But I was also wanting to kill myself that day, so I was just like, none of this matters. Your life is probably better than mine. Giving me this fucking X ray. You get to go home and watch TV with your husband. I am watching old episodes of Just Shoot Me to feel something and because the title makes me feel relief, because it's what I want to do today. Like I was just like so not doing anything it was on this weekend. I really was like such in a bad place. But I answered her. I was like, oh, probably Wheel of Fortune because it's like something you grew up with and also like Conan, and she goes, I didn't know you were on that. I'm like like seventeen times, Like it's just like it's wasn't worth getting into. But um, what do you feel when you get those like kind of questions of like getting into an anything fun this weekend? Like do you give them a legit answer? Do they want a legit answer? I hate these questions. I just want to always to be left alone. I wish I was invisible all the time. I don't like any of this. What about hotels? What brings you to town? I know one time we said something really strange that I was like, I want to do that again. I just go comedy and just like shut them up. For some reason. I want to say, um, a cigarette convention. We're trying to get youths into smoking again. Oh and where do you guys do that? And what kind of youths? Um, just your youngest, most impressionable youths in town. We see this market as very impressionable and we can really get a stronghold here in Juliet, Illinois. So the breakfast bar is open? Oh my god, I who checks into a hotel? I mean I know some people do because I am behind them in line sometimes and they want to know about the melodies. They want to know what time the breakfast bar bence. They want to know what time the lounge is open to. They want to know that sometimes the lounge closes early on Wednesdays because they have they have a shift change over. They want to know what floor the gym is on, even though this person looks like they've never been to a gym in their life. They want to know. They want to know about room service and what time that ends. All with a line behind them, Who are you? How dare you? Yesterday on the plane, I was sitting on a windows seat. Chris was in the middle seat with me. Um and then the plane was fucking empty. There were eighty five empty seats and there's a and Chris said, we get we have the row all to ourselves because he booked it, and I was like, fucking sweet. I get in before him because he was parking the car. I get in the window seat and I raped him, being like it's not we're not alone on our aisle. There's an aisles there's someone in the aisle seat. I was like, Piste, like you didn't get it right, and m because I don't want to share an aisle. I can't give a hand job next week, guyant and aisle just kidding. Um. I was not in the mood. I needed sleep. I wasn't like with those fucking voles out of South America. What are they called sa dj quaals? And so I was like, I'm like, I'm trying to like say to this guy like you don't want to sit next to me. I'm crying. I I I have my I put down my tray. This is before we take off. I put down my tray, I put all of my pillows on it. I put my head in it. I'm shaking, crying. I have my I have my hoodie over my head so that it's not so obvious. I'm trying not to be so obvious, but I'm also trying to be like, this is a broken woman. Go sit somewhere else, like the plane is open. They've already made the announcement like you can sit wherever. Oh really, and he was sticking around. So then a flight attendant, Chris talks to one of the flight attendances, is like, hey, I think that that guy is not is to be there. Chris goes two rows behind me, he says me. He sees me in that state as he boards, and he doesn't even say hi. He just goes to a difference seat, like he catches the drift of not wanting to be next to me. So then he texted me, I'm two rows behind you, but I'm crying and I can't see the text, so I don't even know that he said that. So I finally look at my phone. Oh. Then the flight attendant comes up to the guy on the aisle and says, sir, we haven't This is row thirty two. By the way, thirty. She goes, Rose seven has an aisle seat available if you want to get off the plane faster, like meaning, move away from this crying girl. And I'm not being like sobby about it. I'm weeping quietly. There's no sounds admitting, but you can like see the shaking. I'm crying. So and I don't even know if she had anything to do with this. I think Chris was more like, hey, can you get that guy out of our fucking brow because he just sat there arbitrarily, it wasn't even a seat, so but she couldn't enforce him to go to his seat because they were kind of like sit wherever you want. You know, it wasn't Southwest, but it was like they are already made a point, you can sit wherever you want. So she goes, there's an open aisle, Aisle seven, and he goes, I've got a long layover in l A. I have no I have no rush to get off the thing. And I'm a big fan of Rose and I gotta watch this meltdown, no kidding, So I like was then I start really crying. I'm just like, this fucking stupid guy won't move, like and I was just like. And then I look at my phone and Chris is like, I'm two rows behind you. Come back here. And so I piled up all my things and I was like, um, I'm changing rows and I and he and I go sorry, and he goes, I don't have any problem with it, and I was like okay, and then I climbed back. But I was just so good out, Like if there are around you on a plane several I'm not like Andrew's version of several several rows that have no one sitting in them. Why would you ever choose to sit on an aisle next to someone who is in that row? Wouldn't you go to a row that has no one? The only way I would stay is if my guitar was in that overhead compartment and it was too big of a pain in the ask for me to move it to a different overhead compartment. No, but there were multiple rows next to this row, like behind, right behind it, right across from it. No one's sitting there. And he sit down after I had already sat. So it was just like, fuck this guy. Final thought, I was going off about something so hard? Oh God, what was it? Hold on? Let me just let me just figure out what it is, because it was something you're thinking. I'm gonna ask Noah, why is Nikki in row thirty two famous celebrity? You need to treat yourself why. I'll tell you why. Because I they the company that flew me out here to shoot a pilot tomorrow booked me on a United flight for some reason that was a connecting flight. I think my assistant got it mixed up that I said I wanted to eve St. Louis as late as possible on Tuesday, so she was like, the latest flight out is five something. I didn't know that meant a connecting flight through fucking at Lanta or wherever. So I I think I now have to clarify the latest flight that's direct, right, So I get on this United flight that's like so, then that flight gets delayed, then it gets then I fly it gets three rounded through d C. I'm not landing in l A until one forty four in the morning, so I start crying early. I've already having an oppressed day yesterday. I wake up to like just get a couple of things done, workout or something before my five o'clock flight. It's two o'clock and I'm like, oh my god, this flight is now getting it one. Chris is already booked on a flight at three, and I go, I'm just gonna get on that flight. I'm gonna buy my ticket on that flight. Go online, buy my ticket on the flight. It will not let me buy my ticket. It says you have to see a gate agent. Well, thank god, Chris was already headed to the airport, so he was I will go to the gate agent and buy you the ticket. So he gets there, he buys me the ticket and like a prince that he is, little red Corvette prince. He because he's short and talented. He and where is that heels? Yeah? He. If you don't know this in traveling, if you don't need you need. The only stipulations you need is to board your plane fifteen minutes before they could they shut the door fifteen minutes before the flight time take off. And you can't check bags forty five minutes before your flight, so forty five minutes is the cut off, and they can't send the bags on the next flight, and you go on that flight. You have to fly with your bags, so you have to just get on the next flight. So forty five minutes is the cut off. I always get to the airport an hour early, saves me that fifteen minute window before the bag cut off. I have status on most planes, and if you have status, you kind of get to go to the front of the line, so I never had the trouble with this. But I'm getting an uber. I'm gonna get just in time with five minutes to spare, fifty minutes before my flight, and the uber can't find me. I'm running around the streets of St. Louis with two huge suitcases again crying, and I'm not a crier. Yesterday was a bad day. I get in. He is such a good driver, and he floors it and he gets there. I gave him a twenty dollar tip on a twenty dollar ride. He gets me there, um, and Chris is at the gate and he was and I'm five minutes late. It's forty minutes before my flight, so him already reached the cut off, and it's like a no go. But Chris is such a charmer that he charmed the women at the front and they were like, will make it happen. So he meets me outside. Chris runs in with my bags and they're like come on, come on. He's like Leslie, Diane, thank you guys so much. He hugs them. I'm like, without him, I would not be on the flight they I would have come in there being like, oh, you want to know my favorite thing I've ever done in my career. Well, last weekend, I guess I was in New York. I guess that was fun. I was been such a little brat. Um. I know people are gonna hear this and don't go on the Reddit threat and be like Nikki seems like she's not doing well. She's such a bit. She treats people angrily. Did you hear how she talked to that technician who did her X ray? Did you hear how she talked to Blah Blah. I am nicer than of normal people out and about two people who work in service industries. Don't start that dialogue about me. I swear to God, I'm always nice. Yesterday it was very, very depressed, and I was still nice to those people that asked me those questions. I just didn't come up with a creative answer. Usually I might go let me think about that, but I was just like, oh, I guess New York. Like I was just lazy about it is what I'm saying. Would you agree Anya that I am nice to people? You're so conscientious and sweet? Yeah, and you're great. I just know people are going to go and read it. I know there's a couple of people and read it who hate me and are always looking for reasons to go. She's changed, she used to be this way, but ease mean now. And I'll tell you the people you're defending on there are way meaner to customer service people than I am. So watch it. And also, I don't read anything you say. I see what comment a year because someone sends it to me. So I'm never reading anything to say what you want. And if you hate me so much, why are you writing about me? Why if you hate someone and think they've changed and you don't like them anymore, why are you listening me? No? No, we no, no, why you listen? Maybe you want to hear how bad I am at football? The speaking of football? The Chiefs right, the Chiefs are going and then someone else right? Yeah? Or is it really the Broncoes. No, I don't know. Oh, I think that's the car Carlisle. Just I am excited about the super Bowl though, because there are rumors that Taylor Swift is going to make a surprise appearance with Rihanna. So I am going to be glued because yesterday there was something with the Empire State Building a couple of best he said it to me where they have the Midnight's album colors on the Empire State Building, which is the rival team of the Giants or something, and people are like, why would they put the rival team colors? And I think it's a secret hint. And Taylor Swift did announce the premiere of anti Hero music video on Thursday Night football at one point, so there was a football tie in early on. There is speculations she might be performing. I cannot wait. I would lose my fucking mind. I do think she'll sing anti Hero. I don't know what's going to happen. I do know that. Um, are you guys excited to see Rihanna? Hell? Yeah, we're gonna be the same state. That really excites me where I think she Well, Um, the football, the football. The super Bowl is happening in Arizona and Phoenix. Oh oh nice? Oh that is cool? Um? And then do you guys have do you watch the super Bowl? I watch the halftime show. Yes, do you ever go to a party or anything and make everyone be quiet? Like they kind of going to one party with you? And that's where I met Sarah Lena. Oh yeah, okay, that's not the only Super Bowl party you've ever been to in your life? Maybe maybe one more? What? Yeah? Oh? Interesting? I don't know the Sunday will be coming back from Orlando, So I don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe on Sunday night, but I went not. I like watching it so much. It's a big game on Sunday. They call it the Big Game. Do you know why they call it? That has a Super Bowls trade trademark? Yeah, the Big Game is Sunday. Wait did you think it would be on a Monday or do you just not? No? I just meant, is it this Sunday? I think it is this Sunday. I could be wrong, but it's next Sunday. Really, it's not this Sunday. It's nice. It's where will I be next Sunday? Oh my god, nous, let me just see real quick. Oh I will be in St. Louis. Oh my god, that's so exciting. Someone invite me to a Super Bowl party or yeah, maybe. Oh my family they oh yeah, I'll watch it with my sister in Bro. That'll be good. Um, all right, guys, thank you for listening to the podcast this week. Thank you Annya. Thank you know, uh don't because see you in Florida this weekend, Tampa and Orlando. I can't wait see you at those shows. Take it still available to the late shows. They're gonna be good. I can't wait to see you guys. And and Gee Games. James James James

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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