#292 Amanta Ray

Published Nov 4, 2022, 1:00 AM

Nikki still wishes at 11:11 but it takes her a minute to think of something. Andrew talks about his sad wish as a little boy and how he would look like a cast member of Love Is Blind when he made it. Nikki loves that Taylor Swift's tour announcement created a toss up of wedding dates. Andrew shares an awkward story about an ex's family which reminds them of a story about a crappy security guard. Want to learn how to survive a crowd crush? Nikki finally found some answers. In Fanthrax, Besties leave messages about a phrase used incorrectly, arguing with a partner, turning into a Swiftie and a challenge for Nikki.

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The Nicky Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am, It's Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Thursday. I'm in Los Angeles because my boyfriend has a job here and I'm living here right now. In case you didn't miss or in the case you missed the explanation yesterday. Uh, Andrew is in St. Louis. Noah is in Arizona. It's a beautiful day here. I haven't been outside. I'm not gonna lie so from the looks of it through the window, it's a beautiful day. It is ten ten am. Make a wish? Wait, we don't do that at ten and ten? Do you guys do a love and a love and make a wish? Um? No, I don't think I've ever done it. Maybe back in the day, like how you did? What would you wish? Do you ever make up? Well, it's not gonna come true, Andrew. If she tells you even the one years ago, she's not gonna get that pony showing up at her doorstep tomorrow. Wait, what about can you imagine if it we just heard off camera and we're like, I got it. Finally she's in Arizona. But that's fine. Um no, I'm saying, oh yeah, yeah, have you heard your breath through a tunnel? I do that just like naturally. I think like because of O. C. D. Like I just always do the thing of like my sister will die if I don't hold my breath. If I can't hold my breath until we get out of that. There's something you know, like some trip if you're driving past it, sum up at the cemetery and hold your breath and hold your breath thumbs like you approve of these dead people, like you're going to heaven and they're stupid. They're dead. That's dumb. You're like, like Heaven, like you like, why add that? It's just that'd be so funny if you held your breath for like the longest sentimentary like it's like the Arlington Cemetery and you hold it so long you're like David Lane style and someone's like, but sorry, you didn't put your thumb up, and they're like, what the fuck? Help it a little thing? Um yeah, I'm birthday candles. Um you know I lash on your nose eleven eleven I think is very seriously, I don't know why none of it's ever happened but um, I always do them, and I always like really concentrate hard and try to get it in before eleven twelve, because then I feel like it doesn't happen, but I do. I do. UM, I don't know. I feel to keep making the wish until the like the minute turns. But it usually takes me so long to figure out what I want for a wish because it usually starts selfish, and then it starts then it goes to like a thing that I know is not really going to improve my life, and then it goes to something yeah, too big, and then it goes to something that I'm like, okay, and then right that it switches to twelve and I'm like fuck, and then I gotta wait in another twelve hours to free I perm or like the most like something very like yeah, not even a full like my wish wouldn't even be like I don't even yeah, I don't deserve I wish I didn't have to make a wish. It's always sad when um. In this book that I read, UM I'm Glad my Mom Died by Janette McCurdy, she talks about the opening scene as her making a wish with her birthday candles that her mom would stay alive, which is ironic because the name of the book, but like her mom got cancer when she was young, and she was used to wish that her mom would just keep living and like it just it kind of is a about how she was always like living for her mom and like really thought that she could keep her mom alive, keep her mom happy. I'm trying to think what I wish for as a kid with like did I have any of those really sad wishes like liar liar, Like the kids like I wish for one day. Dad couldn't tell a lot, you know, like were they ever like tragic ones like I wish that you know, my parents didn't drink tonight or some you know, some kind of like tragic. Really, I remember I prayed. I remember I looked in the mirror and I was crying, praying to God that my parents went in fight, and like literally like it was yeah, did you know it was adorable? I definitely like, put you looked at the mirror because he wanted to see love is blind? Yeah, I know him out, don't count Andrew out? Yeah no, yeah, I do remember doing that. I remember just being like, yeah, squeeze out. I don't know what Andrew's referencing. Love is blind. There's guy Andrew who um proposes to Nancy and he gets rejected and he's in the confessional, you know, like where they shoot just like that by themselves, and he's there and um he's talking about how sadie is that Nancy rejected his proposal, and then he's like, can you hold on one minute to the producer and he probably just thought this is what people do on TV because he seems so like can you just hold it? Was like it he puts like eye drops in his eyes and he just squeezes them and he's like, okay, I'm ready, and he's like I just really loved Nancy and rejection hurts, and then he goes, can I do some more? And the guy goes you hear the producer go, I mean if your eyes are dry and itchy, and he's like no, yeah, we both know. Like but then the burduser kept it in. It was so embarrassing. It was so embarrassing, but I guess maybe sometimes that is how reality shows do it, you know, Like I'm sure that they do give them fake drops. And then that guy just got screwed because that producer was like, no, this is better TV to leave this hi that he is a faker. Um, but it was just such a lame moment in TV. It just made you like sad for this guy. Like and he's like a rich guy who's really good at business. And you could tell he just thought he was like nailing it. I know he feels I didn't really like him. I felt like he's like, I'm a photographer. I took time, don't. He just felt very braggadocious the whole time to me, so like the tears, the fake tears made perfect sense, like you're selling yourself like loves talking about traveling to Africa like he was doing like you know, like he made so much money. It wasn't for him anymore. Like I made too much money and I wasn't my passion. But now photography or whatever, what is he doing? Like but he comes back, don't worry, don't count him out. We see him again. Um, and I the second time I saw him, I was like, I like this guy old tar because because I was watching to Do with Chris, and Chris is like, oh man, could this guy come back and like save the day here and I go, don't forget the tear drop incident. He goes, oh fuck, we don't like this guy forgot like you really like learn who to like and that like on this show. And then you yeah, we watched More Alone last night. That show is so freaking good. I can't tell you enough, Like, no, you would love it. It's just like it's really minimalist TV. These people are just only filming themselves. It's all Blair which style with like their go pros. But it's well done. And this one guy quit last night. I'm not gonna tell you this guy quit last night. And he was there was nothing wrong with him. His his cabin he made. He made a cabin from just I mean, it was incredible. It had a door, He made a hinge out of wood. He carved his like family's initials in it too, like and he made a little coat hanger he made like a shelf inside like he decked this thing out. And then he just couldn't handle the emotional feelings that were coming up for him being alone because he lost his daughter. She was four years old and had a heart defect, and um she died and he just the whole time, he was just staying busy, where whereas everyone else is like trying to just it's food or shelter, like that is what they're doing, nothing else. And this guy was like, I'm gonna make a pipe. I just feel like making a pipe and seeing if I can do it. I want to see if I can smoke this weird um a nissanis weed or whatever, and um, he makes a pipe and he's like, what don't He's like, if I stay busy, then I won't think. And then he was like the thing is your hands can be busy, but your mind is still going. And he he sets up the camera and he's like, I don't ever talk about this to anyone. I'm a private person. I don't have many friends. I don't you know. I keep this stuff in my family. But um, I just want to talk about my daughter. And he tells the whole story. He's sitting there alone with the camera with the beautiful mountainscape in the background in the lake, and um, he's just in his house that he built. It was it was so cute. I was so mad when he tapped out. I was like, no, that house, it was so good. I wanted to live in it. I was like can I is it an escrow? What's happening with it? It was so cool, but he but it was just the show is interesting because these really burly manly men who can do can survive for however, like he built that place because he's like, I'm gonna be here a while. I don't want to do some shabby shelter like the others are of making shelters that maybe aren't. Is like sturdy and like long term, and he had has had like plumbing and like a chimney and um. But he was like, coming on the show, I thought nothing ever could get me to tap out. Nothing, And he was like, but I can't escape thinking about my daughter, and I can't handle it. And when I'm around my family, I can see my daughter and my son's face and my wife's face, but I can't see her anywhere. So she just is I don't get any relief from the grief here. And he just he tapped out because of grief of something that happened many years ago. And it was like, how fucking interesting this burly, manly man who doesn't talk about the feelings. Yeah, because you're you have experienced working on reality television, Like how much time. Is that in in actual time, not TV time? Well the shows, you think he was accurate thirteen days exactly, because this is about a competition of like how long have they been there? And you see the boat pull away and it's like one it starts, and so this was there. Maybe this was like eighteen days in like between thirteen and eighteen days, and he just couldn't take it anymore. He was like, I can't stay busy enough. He wasn't hungry, he wasn't having health issues, like some people are getting poisoned by berries they eat and they're like throwing up everything and like worried they're gonna die. Some people are you know, they get too cold, they starve, there's bear attacks, like it's too dangerous. This guy's like chilling in his cabin. But I was just like good, Like this is an example of like that emotions need to be addressed, Like your mental state is like no matter how strong you are physically, no matter how much you have, if you don't have that, you will tap out of winning a five thousand dollars that this guy had a big opportunity to win. He couldn't handle it anymore. Just being alone with his thoughts. How long do you think you guys could stay away from home and what would you miss? Like what would be the breakpoint forever? Because that's my life. My life is staying like I feel at home away from home, um years, but I need I would need to see people, you know, like I would have to see my friends, I would have to see I would have to face time, I would have to those those kinds of things they don't have the luxury of on the show. But like I don't get really homesick. I'm so used to being away from home. But if you stopped working, that's the whole thing. That's so that's what happened to that guy, Like yeah, yeah, I miss Residents ends in on the side of highways in rural uh you know, like a build another house. Like he's like it is funny where he's just like, you know, my air conditioners not working well, I gotta go home, Like like he built it too good, Like like the point of the show is just like he's like not even struggling anymore because he built like a three bedroom Like yeah, he's just he's he's like his contractor is late coming over and he's annoyed he's yeah, yeah, there's I mean to watch on his DV his DVD player made. Would they're not putting out enough new release? He can't there's no red box in the his flat screen isn't flat enough. I I feel like, uh, what, so what was he eating? Like? What would he do for food? Did he just fish? Okay, you're right by the water, yeah, yeah, but it's not easy to fish. Oh, these guys like they have to build. One guy built a pier so that he could get out because it's very shallow for a really long time and the waves are so crashing that you can't walk out fish. So one guy built a pier and like brought out a pier. Another guy built a boat, which is insane. Another guy set a trotline um which I don't even like. Who is someone who was listening to what that means? I mean, I'm learning a lot about like wilderness and what berries like. It's a very informative show to like little things come up at the bottom of the screen that teach you about you know, grizzly bears being five times stronger than a human man and we're like five times that's just five. Yeah. I thought it would be way more. But these people build these cabins to prevent grizzly bears, and then they have an opening for a door. This guy's only one with a door with a latch, because it's like unheard of. He just did it for fun. He's like, I don't know. If my wife were here, I think she'd want to latch. He was just kept thinking about what his wife would want, and so he uh talking about their wives so much. It's so sweet. They're all like, maybe when I get home, i'll shave my beard. My wife might like that because it always it's good for when I'm sipping water because all the mustache like filters out the gross stuff, so it's really good. Survilets have like a bushy mustache like hanging down because it's like filters the grit. And he's like, but my wife, really, it's not good for kissing my wife. So maybe maybe I'll shave my beard when I go home. I mean, they're just talking to themselves all day long. It's so fast. My wife, it filters her vagina, so it's pretty nice. Oh my god, he was And I saw him smell his fingers and I was like, I missed stopping at the lock too. It's so funny to me, like the idea of like him, Like I guess I won't go in there. You know, it's like you cannot get the right down, but he's like picking the lock, like nice and gentle, you know, Like did I tell you my sister got her car stolen? Stolen? Does she have a Kia or Honda? Did you hear what I said? Cars? Cars to two cars? Oh my god, two cars in one night. Yes, Because my sister they were bringing in groceries from the car and she thought her husband got her purse and she didn't. She had the kids and everything, so she just brought in the kids and a couple of groceries and then her husband got the rest of groceries and left her purse out. She left her purse out there, and they came by and I guess it was unlocked. They got her purse and then they were like, oh my god, the other cars right here. So both of their cars got stolen. But they found her car with her person at yes today a few blocks from their place, with everything in it, and it has been missing. This happened a week ago and they just found it yesterday. A couple of blocks away and everything was in its a Christmas miracle, like a joy ride. They went for a joy ride. What kind of car you? Um? That's a I think both cars were found. I don't know the full story. Hold on, No, Apparently in St. Louis there's a Kia like a lot that all the Kias are being brought to, Like there's just a bunch of stolen Kiya's in one lot. Like if you if you lose your car, most likely it's in this lot. I don't I don't know. I don't know why. They said it was down the street and around the corner. I saw it driving home last night. Everything is still in it. Literally walked past it on Halloween night. Lots of leaves caked on it, so it had been there since the rain on Sunday he said. I said, I sent her purses in the car, and he said make up and makeup and car seats and all. Yeah, credit cards, passport, I D ten dollar coup on too. Downtown Kirkwood. The theory is that they got in that car, drove away all the keys to the Subaru and came back on foot, just ditched the focus. So they did take the Subaru and the super Ro they found. It's in a lot somewhere and it has minimal damage. But it has because what Subaru does is that they can track the car on an app like almost like find my Phone kind of thing. They can track it, and then as soon as once they've alerted on the app like this has been stolen, the next time that car is turned off, they can't just turn it off like while the car's driving metal cast an accident, but the next time that car parks and turns off, they can't turn it back on. And then but then you lose the GPS location of the car as soon as it's turned off, because they give it to the cops because they know that people will go and kill murder the person that stole their car. Because people are so fucking insane. I mean, I heard a story about a girl in St. Louis, Uh Chris is friends with who her car got stolen, and she got out her glock and went with her friend, her policeman friend, and went to go find the bill and kill them. And I was just like, why would you risk that, just let your car go. It's just a thing. People are so fucking weird. I don't get it. But that's why they to invent this technology that makes it so you can't see where your car is anymore, and it gives it over to the police because they know your psycho. Everyone like the that guy that got that that got dead, the guy that died from his phone being knocked into the train thing. Like it's just like we're so we're all the we're not in a good state. I don't think mentally in this world. I mean, I guess the danger too is you go too early and those people are still there and you get killed. That's what I'm saying, Like you get killed, they get killed, like they don't want any confrontation. You're insane if you think someone who's stealing cars to make two bucks isn't doesn't really care about their life enough to like kill you or kill like people go, I that's why I didn't chase the guy who stole my phone or make and like if you're willing to risk going to prison for many years because you want to steal a phone for what seven bucks that you sell it to whatever guy you're selling like bucks, you're do you don't care about your life, you are willing to risk your life, You're willing to take another life, like, let's be reasonable here, folks, Let's go to break and come back with more show after this. Hey, guys, it's your girl, nick Um. No one's ever called me that. Will you come call me in on my tour, Come meet me, come see me. I am on tour, a new stand up tour, all new material with my new voice. Um On, your Marina is going to be with me as well as special guests. We're going so many random ask places. So if I'm coming to your city, you gotta definitely capitalize this because on capitalize on this, capitalize it to write it out and use capital letters because I don't know that I'll be coming back to these random cities anytime soon. So those cities include Thousand Oaks, California, Santa Rosa, California, Reno, Nevada, which is happening tomorrow night Friday, Santa Rosa's Saturday, Thousand Oaks, California, Valley Center, California, Memphis, Tennessee, um Burlington, Vermont, Providence, Rhode Island, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, San Jose is next weekend, California, uh St. Louis, and then many more in the New Year. If any of those ring a bell, I guess ring a bell is not the right word, but if any of them are, like you could hear if we rung a bell in those cities and you could hear it, You've got to come out, because, yeah, I don't come to these cities often a lot of times it's it's gonna be my first time performing in all of these cities, actually except Burlington and San Jose. I've been too before, but I don't know they will be there anytime soon again. So Um, seize the day, come out and see me. I would love to meet you. I mean so much when besties come to the show, as you guys know, you're my favorite fans that I have, so Um, I would love your support. I hope you can make it and I'll see you on the Good Girl tour. I can't wait. All Right, we're back. I just got an article sent to me from Kirsten about people are having to cancer or like freaking out Taylor Swift is ruining people's weddings because her tour got announced and all these people have like spring and summer weddings planned and some of them are like happening in towns where people are like, I'm having a wedding in that night and all my friends are all in there early to late twenties, you know, twenties. No one gets married in their thirties in Texas. Um, they're all getting married so young, you know. And then these girls are like, oh my god, my friends are having decided which one to go do, and um, I think it's hilarious. And just wait for your second wedding. People will come to that. Yeah, yeah, you can't wait for another tour. Why don't make me smile that people's weddings are being ruined? It made me so and that my girl is that the I mean, I'm sir, Taylor feels bad about this, but I love it. I love that people are seeing what their true nature of their friends is. That also, like your little like day where you get to be a queen is taken from Why am I like? Why does that bring me joy? That's so mean? I wish that it made me sad for these girls. Okay, let me just get in a state where I'm more compassionate. It's my wedding day. I've planned on this for so long. Um, and Taylor Swift comes down I'm canceling my wedding, bitch, I'm gonna go. Are you kidding me? I don't give a fuck. I mean I'm trying to think of like something that is equivalent to my wedding, Like um at the concert would not care? Yeah, oh yeah, No. I looked at these dates to see if they lined up with my tour. I would not. You would come to my show and you would not see me walk out on stage everyone face time on the biggest screen from the Taylor Swift concert and throw a couple of jokes your way. You wouldn't see me. I would totally understand if anyone sacrifice Chris cause you's like, I broke my neck on the bike. I gotta go into surgery right now. I know Taylor's tonight, but I really know i'd be there. I mean, all joking aside, I would be there for that because she has a lot of dates and I can afford to go to any of them, Whereas some people are like, she's coming to Kansas City. I can't afford to go to another town, spend the night in the tell backstage. No, I don't want to meet her. I made that clear. No, No, I don't want to meet Taylor Swift. It's too much work for her to call me down. It's I I like meeting fans when they cry and make a big deal of it because I don't have that happened a ton in my life, but it is very draining when it happens, and she is only meeting that now. Like when I met her back in two thousand twelve, it was probably like she's probably having a lot of criers, But like when I met her, it was me and John Cryer and he was not crying. No, it was back to it was me, Gayle King and Corey. He used to be like the Corey Booker. Um, that's who was backstage. When I met Taylor Swift, I would never forget it. And she was very and no one was crying. None of us were crying. But now it would be just a cry fest across the board and she'd have to calm us all down, and that takes so much effort that I want her to put towards another album. I would rather I benefit more from Taylor Swift writing than her going oh my god, thank you, oh thank you. You know, even though I love doing that when people cried, never don't cry around me. I'm not complaining about it, but I just know that it's you know, you've even fans who have cried around me. You know what it's like when someone cries around you, and maybe you're like, even if it's happy tears, you're the reason they're crying. You want to calm them and you want to make them feel better, and it's a lot of energy. So I do not want to meet Taylor Swift. I will only um, you're getting married, and if I if I disappoint her in some way or she disappoints me and I can't listen to her views, it's done. I mean, Khaki, my um boyfriend's sister had a bad interaction with Harry Styles where she asked for a picture and he said no, and she can't listen to his music anymore. It's she's too like filled with like kind of mad. She's mad that he said no. She had a bad interaction with him, and I bet and I know exactly what that's like because when I insulted Taylor Swift in that documentary, and I knew she was mad at me about it because of the documentary, like put you know, it was part of a montage that was like this hurt Taylor's feelings. I couldn't listen to her music all that week and it was hell, So I will not. I don't want to meet anyone who's entertainment. I rely on lot um. So that's my fine answer. But yeah, I would be like it would be like, um, you know, you know when Elaine goes to that guy's side when he gets hit that car and she's in line for the movies to meet him there and she stays in line to me by juju fruits and she goes to the hospital and it's like, I was so sad when they told me if she's like chewing these really uh what's the word? Like just taught there? Like juju fruits were like work? Did you ever have them? Takes one? Yes, very sticky. It's a perfect candy for her to be like chomping on when she's trying to be emotionally supportive and he's like where if it was too quick, she wouldn't have finished them. Yeah, yes, she's like the movie um, and they were like, but I thought they told you when you were in line, and she's like she like chokes on it, Like yeah, I can see you mean like, like, so, what song did you leave on? Like you found out before the show? Yeah, but so how many songs did you hear? Six or some? Yeah, it's like it's pretty late. I think you watched the encore. It's like, no, no, I didn't see the encore I left. Oh yeah. It's like, yeah, I'm right. I'm updating set list dot fm or whatever to like, well, they got it wrong her her second encore was right for it. Mark, Wait, how did you remember that if you weren't there? Um, Yeah, it's it's gonna be fun. I can't wait to go. I'm a little bit nervous though, because everyone's like I'm reading on Taylor. I'm scared to even look into how to get tickets because I'm so I know that I'm not going to be one of the first. I'm not going to get a good seat that way. I'm going to have to like buy something off of stub Hub for tens of thousands of dollars later, it's gonna be it's gonna be an expensive year for old Dog from my credit card. And they're doing pre sell Yeah. First skeptical, Yeah, I'm skeptical of the no they they that's real. I heard that's real. That sucks, man. I gotta get on this. I gotta figure out how to get represented by her agency or something like. I need an inn you know what I mean, Like I need because the thing is, I'm right. I'm gonna write my agent a manager and be like, don't do what Taylor Swift because you know LLC did to me, which is not give me a care package even though I'm the number one celebrity who likes her. Don't give this to your more famous clients just because you think that you want to be in good with them. You give it to someone who actually is going to care about it more than those other clients. Like I hope that they really do honor that because I know they're going to get free tickets. I know U t A is gonna get sent some stuff, no doubt, and I want them to do what's right. I feel like you should be getting because you do so much press for her through this show. I gotta bribe a nice camera. Oh, I would love to do. Um, it's gonna be I can't I can't even imagine what the set list is going to be. It's gonna be wild. Are you and you and Brenda probably have plans to go, right. Brenda doesn't want to go for sure. Yeah, I mean she loves Taylor Swift. I mean she was It's it's an addiction, for sure. I think she would miss her brother's wedding for if I bought. Is he getting married? Uh no, Yeah, we're going there for Christmas though, I'm going to Michigan how long. Well, last time I was there, her dad made fun of me for driving through a I said it was a blizzard. Yeah, and he and he claimed it wasn't a blizzard that I'm a little bit but yeah, so I'm looking forward to it. It'll be fun. No, I'm gonna go there for like five days and um yeah it's in the middle nowhere. Yeah, you know, I always get so nervous within laws. I don't know. Well, I guess you're going to wreck. You're gonna be shipping so much. And they're a little like side bathroom's nervous, nervous. I don't know, I don't know. I mean, like their approval doesn't like she they could hate you and she would still love you, so like you maybe focus on that, like it doesn't really matter what they think. I know, I know, right, I'll be fine. Yeah, I'll be fine. I just I think I overthink it and at this point, no, we do enough face time where I feel like I know them well. I think the first is if Chris's family did not like me, I think he'd have a hard time liking me. But I feel like Brenna is like I could, It's fine if they don't like you, I'll still like, you know, she'd be like I agree. Yeah, She's like, are scared? Like what have I called with your girlfriend's parents? Like there should be a name for that, but like you know, future in laws or whatever? Are you get nervous? I thank god Chris has good ones that I like, actually enjoy seeing, and thank god I have he always is like I have never had a girlfriend with parents who I actually want to see, who I want to hang out with, who like I ask if they can come along, like if they're going to be somewhere, like I'm going to be there. It's so nice, because man, there are some rough ones out there. I had a girlfriend, the girlfriend in college I went and the only other girlfriend you've had? No, no, no, there was one other one for three months. Oh I know, I remember the other one. Yeah, but she didn't uh you know whatever. So she she died. Her parents are alive and the opposite I think reverse cow girl cow o friend. So uh so I went there and her uncle. She was a Catholic family, like really Catholic, like strong Catholic family, and they didn't know as Jewish, like we didn't bring it up, and um, the uncle just started saying jew jokes at at dinner and you, I bet you kept your mouth shut. Yeah, I gave him ta yeah. Oh my god, that's so bad. It was so bad. It was so uncomfortable, like the Jewish No, I mean I was outnumbered. I would you don't have June never says it in front? What would you do now if that happened? Would you have the balls you think to say something? I don't know part of me like I think I'm just so conditioned to laughing at it off. And like if once remember with that security guard, Oh god, that guy was the worst. We were in some Florida or somewhere in the security guard like I just wanted to chat us up and he got to just be too close to us. Like that's the problem. Like sometimes security guards like don't have good boundaries, and they take advantage of being the one that gets to be near you, and then they're the one that you're like, can I have someone to protect me from you? Can I have a a you know, a mentally unstable guy with a gun like a fan. Yea from you? I feel closer to someone who sent me like Barbie Doll soaked in blood with like my name written on their heads. Then you right now, sir, you're that guy in a security shirt, Like that's the only you got a power track. You couldn't even become a real cop. It's like this is your thing, like no offense and security guards. I love security guards. Shout out to Steve the security guard from comedy Seller who died um this week. He was one of the gentlest, most awesome people. So I love security guards. This is not shooting on all of them. But this guy sucked and he was making so many um he was just and he knew you were Jewish too, right. They're so hacky to like that. That's the thing. If it's like a good Jewish joke that I haven't heard or doesn't feel like a stereotype, I'm like nice, like that's funny. But if it's just like you don't have the nose of a jew. I'm like, okay, that's what he said. And I'm sitting there eating my salad, just stuffing, and I'm so mad that he's even in there, because I'm like, this is the one I just got done with the meat and greed. I had two shows this. I don't want to talk to anyone else I want to talk to I want to sit in silence with Andrew while he's on his phone, and you know, I want to just eat my salad and like, I still remember this. That was such a like traumatic moment for me as well. I'm not trying to be like I was, but I remember, like the stabbing the cucumbers, Like I remember what the sound. I never remember what a sound looks like. But I was so fucking angry that this guy was being an asshole to you and like saying jokes, and I mean, I don't know why I didn't say something, but I think I was. I think I just kept making face. I was far enough away that I wasn't in the conversation and I didn't want to get in it, but he was talking loudly enough so that I could hear like, oh, I'm funny too, Oh he was was. He had a whole It wasn't just Jewish stuff. He had a thing about um the Russian his nurse and he had to have his like his groin shaved, and he's like, I was hard, but was I? But you know it was something about getting hard while the nurse was like shaving his balls. And he's like, and I was because she was. She was fucking hot. It's like that that attitude of just like I would I would have her if I was if I was younger and stronger, like like just that like machismo alpha ship just like just turns me off because they think that's what I would like because I guess my jokes are a little like are like like dirty or whatever, so they think that's what you're like into you're saying around me too, because my jokes are dirty. So he thinks that we love to hear about times he's like date raped and how we're just gonna be like, oh that's hilarious. Tell us more like, you can get people admit some really heinous things they've done just by being like because people who do heinous things are usually stupid. You know what I'm saying, like, this is the point I make about pedophiles on stage. I'm like, people always go, oh, my male babysitter wouldn't be a pedophile, Like that would be so obvious. They're smarter than that. It's like, no, they're not. They're idiots. They operate in very very obvious ways. Don't think that like pedophiles are always like very sneaky. They are a lot of times, but a lot of times they are just the most obvious people Like if you get a spidy sense and go, oh, he has the Dahmer glasses, he has the white minivan, Like, don't be like he would he would never do that's so obvious. Why would He's obviously not one? No, he probably is. These guys, are they? They gravitate towards a certain you know, Warby Parker frame. I mean, imagine imagine being a guy that is like I'm going to get the white van, Like he leans in like like he knows that stereotypes out there, but he's still buying the van. So obviously because people go, no, not him, not the guy with the wood for windows. Not his mouth is always wet, who was always like doing this with his fingers just like twiddling them back and forth and licking his lips and has put the eyes and dated you know, but Nikki, he never put a rubber nose and a mustache on. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to say one thing before we get to the news, because I'm obsessed with this Korean crowd crush that sounds to there's too many game. Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like the way crowd crush. Oh my god, it totally does crowd crush. Um, but it is. I'm obsessed with it in a way that's like the morbid obsession. And I'm so scared of it. I'm always scared of crowds anyway. Um, but I learned last night how to survive one if you're ever in it, because every one of us is going to find ourselves in a crowd situation where it could happen. And I know you're like, well, I don't. I don't hang out at you know, uh, go to Mary, go to um, go to a concert, go to a Taylor Swift show. I mean, like, if if there's a fire that breaks out, or someone has a gun, God forbid, or something happens and everyone runs for the exits. The thing is that the exits people people are running through them so fast and it gets so condensed that the exit gets blocked by bodies. People can't squeeze through the door, and so the door becomes a wall. And then people just keep from the back because at the back of a crowd crush, it is very there's a lot space and you can't it's so loud generally that you can't hear how much is going on the front, and it becomes like two tons of pressure very quickly in these situations. So but I watched the video lesson because I've been searching for like what do you do? Can you it started? But it doesn't need a start reason. It just people wanted to get somewhere. And it's like a couple of people in the back pushing going like because they have room, and then you don't know that a hundred feet in front of you people are being pancakes a concerts like go in the front room. I don't know how you do it, Like they're like pushed against defense. But anyway, so yeah, so how do you get out of it? So the best thing to do is to walk with your hands up like almost like you're in a boxing ring, right, because if you do and end up getting pushed and crunched, you are protecting your lungs with this space that your arms are creating. So your arms probably break and yeah, but at least they'll have that that And then another way thing is um stand with your feet like almost like your like have. Don't just walk with like you're not gonna really have a choice to like walk. But if someone falls in front of you, then you're fucked because you're against a wall. The person in front of you as a wall. If they fall, you're going down to It's like dominoes. You're gonna be pushed in them. So if you have a stance where it's like you have one ft in front of the other, you have a chance of standing up a little bit better. But if you are, god forbid, pushed to the ground in a crowd crush, the best they get to do is not laying your stomach, not lay on your back, is to get into a fetal position on your side, and it will protect your you know, your heart and lungs and those organs that are going to be trampled and suffocated. So I felt so good reading that last night. I was like, because I told Chris, I'm like, we you got to stay out a crowd's like this is the serious, Like this is the worst way to die. These people do not die. It's they keep calling it a stampede. Is not a stampede. They don't get stomped onto death. They're not like their bones aren't broken. It's like they get suffocated, like they can't there. Your lungs get pushed in so much there's no way way for your lungs to exp and, and they die horrible nous. I don't know if you guys saw any of the footage from that. It was fucking insane. Like I've never seen so many people getting CPR. It's just like it's like was dozens of people just going. And I also know from CPR chest compressions. This is another good thing to know when you're giving chest compressions. Do not bend the elbow. It is a very hard compression. Keep it um, keep it very your arms straight. And the speed at which you should do it is the song stay in Alive, Stay in alive, stay in love. Yeah, I thought that was good. Um, So those are your helpful hints for today. Let's get to the news. Oh it's Thursday, folks, you know what it means. It is Thursday. It's the end of the week. But that doesn't mean it has to be the end of your life. Just make sure you put your arms above your chest and be okay out there. I am never going to put my arms down in a crowd ever again. I'm so glad to have this little tool that might keep me alive because I'm fucking and and you get pushed, you don't have a choice, Like, no, it's like this, there's no there's no choice, it said. That's like it's like being in a river. You're just swept away by a current. You have no autonomy over your body anymore. It is so scary, So stay stay out there and keep your arms up. In my junior high school, like in the hallway, there was some kind of like stampede and I like, I got caught in that and I literally elevated and was carried by just other bodies. It was crazy. Oh my god, it's so scary. I'm so glad you're okay, like you sky stir if you're like it was actually pretty fun like crowd. I don't think i'll ever be in a crowd. Again, I think this really like this needed to happen for me to like wake up and go. My mom went to the Hoo concert in the seventies where a bunch of people died. Um she was there, but like so I always knew about these things, even as a kid. My mom would be the Who concert two or whatever it was seven people died, I think. And this was a hundred and fifty I mean, and these were all people in their twenties and costumes. It was so sad. What Andrew No, No, I just like I didn't want to go. There was that costume contest right by our house, and I was like, this is what we'll get shot up? Like I had that thought, which sucks to have that thought, and that's what they want. I don't know. I was thinking about, Yeah, like one person gets angry, one person gets shot. Like that's what just happened. Did you see the rapper that just got killed? Amigos rapper? What does mean? Maybe it's short for friends amigos. Oh, so they're like, all, is it like a label because I rappers? It's three rappers? No way. I'm so embarrassed. I thought Meges was a person his name was taf which is right. I thought it was such a cool name. And Quavo Quavo, Okay, I know Quevo because he was on a Justin Bieber song. I like saying it was his uncle and they're only three years apart, but like it's just oh, his nephew, and it's like, I don't know, it's weird too, but any like that was the headline like over and over again. But yeah, I know the guy was just in a crowd. They were arguing and he wasn't even in the middle of it. Just get shot, you know what. I don't know, like everyone has a gun now, it's just wild. I just that's how I feel like. That's what that Any big crowd that isn't like a kind of like they don't check you at the door. It just feels like open to anyone. I don't want to funk with right now. I just feel like I went to the I was at the South Dakota um Airport and they were it was hunting season out there, so there's all like there there's a line to check like oversized bags, and there was checking a couple of guys checking guns and they're searching the gun bags, and I go, what are they searching for? It's a gun. Hey, sorry, you can't bring on your hair gel. You gotta finish that. But um, this fucking machine gun that you And by the way, like I don't I don't know judgment on actually, yes, judgment on hunters. I think it is so to hunt. I listen to these guys on my plane the other night and they were talking about hunting deer and grouse, and I'm like, if you have, like use a bow and arrow, cool, If you use a fucking knife and attack it with your own hand and body, fine, But why do you think it's cool to like stalk an animal all day and then use a gun to kill it? Like why what pride is there in that? I don't get it. Explain it to me. I don't get it. Like you you are a bully. You're using this thing, an automatic weapon to kill an animal, Like you don't need it. You can go to the grocery store. I get it that. It's like your grandpa taught you to do it, and it's quiet out there, and you like some of them do buck hunter at the bar. No, they don't. They don't need it for food though, Like Okay, yes, so you use for food food, that's what I don't believe that people. Most people who hunt need that the answers are for these I'm not saying it's my answers. It's like a sport. It's a sort well not just that that that one. They think the animal if they kill it at four or five, it's only gonna live to eight or eight or nine anyways of natural causes, right, and then if it dies in the wild, it's gonna get killed by a bear in a way worse way. This is how they justify it, in a way worse way than getting shot. And then the food aspect that it's actually better than like farm food because you know whatever, like the fucking where they chop them up and like fucking just cut their necks and then they have food for a year and they put in a freezer. So that's all that. And then there's over population of deer and then they end up getting hit by cars or trucks and they just center point to Okay, I'm kind of on board. I just don't know that i'd feel like a man about it if I killed a deer with a gun, Like it doesn't impress me It's like I've been on a farm or a ranch and they go out losing listeners by the droves because I know hunting is more popular swept they feed them. This is like you they're your they're your friends, and then you shoot them. Like that's how it feels out on these ranches, Like they're not afraid of humans because they grow up getting fed by humans and then they're like, oh, let's go shoot them. It's like, why the funk are you? I get it if you're like fighting, like shooting like a grizzly bear in Alaska? What do you think a animal farming is? Like people like the cow gets milked and it's like so treated and everyone loves it. It names it Like. I was just listening to a Sam Harris podcast and there's like a there's a philosopher like like one of these philosophy questions, like these like profound questions of like you know the trolley problem where it's like five people you're on a trolley and there's a guy on the tracks and you can um or the the organ the organ one is good, so um one guy who's like a young bright like doctor like future doctor could cure cancer and needs a new organ, Um, do you kill this other person that doesn't really need it? It was like a person to give it to him. And it's like that's kind of the quandary. But like there's another one that's like the turkey problem or something, and it's like this turkey grows up its whole life having everyone pet it, and it's nurtured and it's said, and it's kept warm, and this family loves it. And then one Wednesday night in November, all of a sudden they grab it and fucking chop its head off. And it's like wait what so it is like this, I get that. In Florida, they raise hogs until they're about pounds and it's the family pet. They name it. They're like the kids and it's it's a way to teach how they how they spin it or whatever. They it's a way to teach the kids about death and and that we all die and it's okay and like and and now we're eating it, and he this is what he would have wanted. He would have wanted you to eat it, like you have to. You have to do that. You if to kill animals, you have to get to a place of like this thing doesn't matter, and I'm doing a leslie. You have to, um, I do this. Some things in my life compartmentalized, like eating, you know, drinking from plastic containers, thinking oh well, this one's not going to set it over the you know, just doing things that you have to. You have to create little things in your brain that make it feel okay. But if you were a turkey, would you wouldn't want to die. If you were a deer, you'd probably want to risk dying of natural causes. But then being shot in the ass. And I'm not worry about getting I'm just worried about these these when a when adult deer gets shot, I'm not a sad for the adult deer. I'm worried about their possible little kids that are waiting back at the nest for their mom that never returns. I'm I'm thinking about the bambes. That's really what I think about. And unless you can prove that that Buck is a childless comedian, it's thirties, was dead. Yeah, and I don't think that it's okay. But you know, you actually kind of sold me on all those reasons, so thank you for talking me out of that. That's the news today. Let's go to a break. Great job now than alrighty back, let's get to fan trax. Alright, what do the besties have to tell us today? UM, I just want to remind besties how they can leave us fan trax messages and the way that you do it. There's a link in the bio of our Instagram, Nikki Glazer Pod, and you click on that link and there's going to be another link that says leave a voicemail here, and that's how you do it. Great, thank you. Just a little reminder because we've been getting questions. Okay, UM, let's start off with a message from Kate. Hey, Nikki Andreana. UM, I just wanted to say, as I'm leaving this, I'm still processing how mortifying and dom it is that I just wanted to see if anybody, UM, I've ever had something similar happen where they say phrase the they think means one thing, and it definitely doesn't. UM. So I'm a medical assistant. I see patients all day and when they're leaving, I'll usually say something along the lines of good riddance, UM, thinking that it was a nice thing to say, like the good morning or good afternoon, but crazy thirty one years old. Last night I was informed that it does not mean mad, and it's actually pretty rude. So just lends out if there is anyone else and I'm gonna go crawl under a rock. I just see someone like like I just see an old man like hearing good riddance instead of like stopping at the door and tilting his head and kind of going what and then just going that's not worth it? Know, like I don't't I see I see a family. I see a family who they just lost their mother to cancer, and they're walking out all sad, and they go, hey, good riddance. Think about the God. Good riddance. Isn't that the name of the song I hope you had to tell of your life? Isn't that it's called good riddance? Yeah? I think it's called good riddance. Um. That is so funny. I'm so um. And you can tell that she found out after the fact, like it wasn't like a patient told her, like what did you say? So she's just going through all the time. She may have said that thousands of times. Yeah, times where I've felt that way, Like I've said, you know what's great about what you can say that and if you really hate the person and get away with like being like like a dick. But like, did they mean that they hate me? Sarchastic? Well, I always I do the one I still do it where I say have a good one and they don't know that I mean death, have a good one. I'd rather hear you know, I know that it means death, and they think I'm saying have a good day. No, I'm saying have I hope you have a really good death? Ha ha um. I think I've said people's names wrong before, gotten and been like later on heard their name and go what is it? And I go, oh no, And then the usual suspects montage of all the times I said it wrong flips through. I just think about like skok Illinois. Yeah, like the feeling I can I can actually like the feeling that she felt going over all the time she said that there's like this visceral it feels like a pit inside of my solar plexus. Like that's where I feel that kind of embarrassment. It's but why is it embarrassing? Because I guess she feels you feel stupid and you also feel like this. No one actually would hear Kate say good riddance and go she wants me to you know, funck off? How dare she? Like? They just think she's dumb? You know, like that's that's the problem. It's like, you're not as it is funny that it means the opposite of what she thinks it is. But no one actually probably took it that way and was like what a bitch. They were just like what a dumb bitch. But it's like one of those things that like you could just miss, you know, like I couldn't. There was something recently where I was like, how do people not know that I was listening? Oh? Um? I was listening to the Courtney Show the other day, my boyfriend's show, and Tim referenced a Manta ray and Courtney, who was like in her fifties, was like, what's that a man array? It's Manta. It's yeah, well, what would you spell it? Like? I don't know if there's m A N N A No, it's Manta. I didn't. I'm from Florida. How would you spell it? It's man a T. I don't think there's a T in there. It's Manta. I'm looking it up right now. Manta ray. Um, but what would you have spelled it? Like if I asked you spelled man array A M A and no, what is it? A A y? You started with with an A A manaray. Okay, you would have If I would have asked you to write in a sentence, what would you put I'd start with an A, M A N A R. Start with an A M M mana No, no, oh man that's bad. It's is it? You thought it was like you thought someone was like I saw a man array, I saw a manoray and it opened up my eyes. I saw Wait if you you don't say I saw an elephant, but you don't say I saw elephant. No, you say an elephant. So you said I saw a man array, and you thought people it was called a man array. It's like a moray. No, I'm really but yeah, the animals need an a or an an before them, so you thought that this one just didn't need that, and it was part of the name itself. I've heard, I could have swore, I've heard not in a sentence form and anonomy, a sea, anonomy maybe something along that line. It's like, yeah, here's the c cucumber, here's the man ray, Like I didn't I've heard I didn't even know this. I was, okay, I'll tell you Manta's uh space ray an A M A N T A and then separate word ray. It's not all one word manta ray. Oh that's a whole another. Yeah. Well you grew up in Florida, you should know this. But you've heard of him. Whatever you thought it was, you've heard of that before. But Courtney loves sea life and had never heard of a manta ray. She was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, you know, a manta ray? And he's like She's like what, And I was like, you know, she's a person. That's it. That's the problem. He goes, what did you? When she goes what is that? He goes a man array. He could have just said elephant. No, Andrew, if I'm talking about I saw an elephant the other day, and you go what, I wouldn't go elephant. I would say an elephant, that's the problem. You're the problem. No, this is wild. And I had no idea what's going to cause all of this. I just was I just was surprised someone hadn't heard of that animal. But I think there are things there gaps in my knowledge to Like, I didn't know what a c p A was until my twenties. Someone was like, I just remember really getting shamed for that. You don't know what a c p A is, And I was like, I've never heard those letters together. Yeah, certified professional accountant something. I don't know what it even stands for, but I know now it's an accountant. But I'm just like, then call yourself and an accountant and an accountant exactly. No, Andrew, I'm making fun of you. It's not exactly. No one thinks that. No. Um, have you ever what about anaconda? Do you think they? Do? You? Do you know they're called condas? Right? No, it's called anaconda. Please. That would really an anaconda, right, like what you say a gorilla? A gorilla? Um? Anaconda would suck me up. That would have sucked me up here. But if I said, like I saw I saw anaconda, you would say that's wrong. It would be I saw an anaconda. Yes. But then if someone goes, what did you say, and you know anaconda, you wouldn't say an anaconda. I think it would say an anaconda. Interesting, But because even if I did say that, I wouldn't think that if they repeated it, I wouldn't think it was a mannery flows. So well, think about more. I hope you always name your daughter man array. It was a beautiful name. Oh my god. The other day I was with a girl and she was talking about how she was born without chromosomes. She was like, I seriously, you know how people like joke like you were born without chromosomes. I literally was like, I have less chromosomes. And she's having trouble conceiving and all these things. And she was like, and you know, if I she saved, she free some She had some embryos like made or whatever, and they tested the embryos and she's like, and I really want a daughter. But the daughter embryo is a little bit like there, it's not like it's a mosaic. They call it like it may not have all that you know chromosomes either. Um, so it's like a mosaic embryos. I guess what they call it. And I go, that's a beautiful name. You should call her that. But I was kind of I wasn't joking, but I was like, oh, that's actually she's the type of person that I thought maybe would do that, and she was like, that is that's really good? So those babies might beoplesaic because of it's genetic Admirmales love that you name a kid one arm like just something like but mosaic. No one would put that together. Oh my god. The other night on Love is Blind, Sorry to sidetrack, there was a discussion of what they would do about um having a Down syndrome baby, like what they would do with it? And it, dude, And not only did it come up, they met the in laws and it became in this guy's twenty five Bartisse and he brings up with his in laws like, well, Nancy and I disagree about what to do with the baby with Down syndrome. And then his sister like has a baby with some fact and it's like crying and it's like, you'd abort my baby. It was just like so intense and like I'm like Nancy, if I were Nancy and be shooting Bartisa, look like, don't fucking bring this up with your parents the first day I'm meeting them and I met you through a wall. They're already skeptical, and now I'm gonna abort your baby. That isn't even like really yet. But then Chris and I also were like, what did you what would you do? And we had a differing opinionon that. We have not discuss ship and I was like, um, well, I'm not gonna tell you which side of the wall I was on, but Nancy and I can drive off into the sunset to listen. I I love kids with think they are beautiful and they bring so much joy to life. I just don't want to take care of a baby until it's it's you know, forever. That's not what I would want, so I I think that, but that's my own opinion and I don't know. But I don't. I honestly don't know what i'd do. But I was more like, I don't know, and Chris was more like, no, we'd keep it. And I was like, I think it's up to me, bitch, I, but I don't. I truly, I'm on the I still don't know what I would do, So don't write to me and and tell me I'm a bad person because I just don't know what I would do. U um um, okay, that's next voice. I'm not being completely honest about the conversation because I don't want everyone to hate me. No, I really don't know what I would do. I really don't know what to do. This run is from um oh, anonymous and anonymous, anonymous and anonymous. Hey, Nikki, Andrew and Noah. I just wanted to finally fan tracks because I just got into an argument with my husband and I took a break. I went to the kitchen to do dishes, put on pod on my airbuds, and you were talking about getting arguments and how both people want to feel like smoopies. I totally feel like I want to be the smoopy, but maybe I should let him be the schmoopie. And um yeah, I guess it was impectable timing, and so I'm going to try to take your humble of ice and be sweet, take the high road, and kind of baby him because in the end usually that's the thing that makes makes it work out. So I just wanted to say thank you, and we need an update. You're awesome, Andrew, You're doing great. No, You're amazing and Nicky, hope to see you in San Jose. Yes, girl, big fan and just take the high road. Oh, I love it. I love that she stepped out on torn I hear her on her like porch, you know, like she stepped outside and she's about to go we do need an update. I think I hope she survived that interaction, like I'd beel like he's like, don't treat me like a baby. I'm like just fucking threw off the balcony. Um no that. I'm so glad to hear that, And yeah, that's kind of I feel like I hear thinks so many times when I'm listening to a podcast or watching show and I'm just like, oh, I need it. Like that was like God, quote unquote God telling you like you know, you know, just sometimes we need to we need signs. And then yeah, I think God, And have I not mentioned that? I think I'm Jesus Christ come back. I can't believe I skipped over that. I swear to God. I thought I did it two episodes ago in l A because he got a job and I'm Jesus Christ. Um um So I yeah, I definitely think that that has helped me so much. It's just just to remember. Even last night, there was like a little flare up of a something that could have turned into a fight, and I just was like, what is the way I'm feeling is the way he's feeling, because we never fight where it's like I'm just mad and he's not. It's usually like both sides are equally frustrated. And I was just like, just know that how you're feeling is how he's feeling about you, and just calm the funk down and do what you do, what you would want him to do, and I bet he'll meet you halfway. And he did, and it was great, and we avoided near air collision. It was like, you know, our wings clipped and we were both able to like steady and it was it was literally nothing. I bet he wouldn't even remember the moment, but it could have derailed us. And it's just so nice to not get into those anymore and just have a lovely evening that doesn't just get because I also feel like in relationships are like we chose to live together and to be each other's team. I don't I want to fight with everyone else. I want to have this. I want to have this awkwardness with everyone else, not you, the person I chose to take road trips with, the person I chose to lay next to every night when I go to bed the person I chose to abort those little children with the like you know that that like what we we don't need. I had that realization like we this is this is supposed to be my comfort zone, Like yes, we can have flare ups, but like they can't last longer than an hour. They just can't, Like we gotta get me, aren't going anywhere? We gotta figure this out, like what are we? What are we trying to? Like when you get into a fight and you're like I think I'll fight to the death on this. I know I'm right, Like am I really is this going to be the thing that I leave this relationship over? I know that it's not, so why not just get over it now? Like let's speed it up. I think that's helped me. But um but sometimes it is the thing to end a relationship and sometimes you can't get over it, so it sometimes it tells you you gotta leave. But um it. It's like I literally had that same conversation about like let's not take out our frustrations on each other. Let's point at random people and make fun of them, Like let's point at everyone else except for each other. And it's like I don't know it did. It's like the same exact idea, like, yeah, you're my teammate, Like we gotta like I chose you, Like we didn't just get we're not cell mates that got put in together, and we have to make this work. Like we chose to make this work. So let's choose to not fight over this dumb thing. But it's just so hard when your blood pressure rises and like you're in the moment and you just feel and you had a bad day at work and you feel like you have too much on your plate and you're exhausted, and then you're the person that you are a teammate with doesn't seem to be playing on your team. It's so easy just to go, well, then fuck this, and like I want to just burn it all to the ground. And so all of these things are way easier said than done, of course. Okay, a couple more fan t rex is all right, here's one from Jamie All. I'm calling for Nicky to thank you for making me a swift e um. I got into her more last year when the rerelease of Reread came out and you were talking about it on stop, so I was like, all right, given to listen and I became obsessed and I am just having so much fun with midnights and I just wanna thank you for this. I wasn't a Swifty before I started listening to you. Um. I also, I'm never I don't want of your podcast and I'm traveling or have a busy week or something. In the past couple of weeks, this is the only time I've been behind because I'm just listening to Taylor Swift. Yes, and that's the only home an old podcast. And then listen to your podcast You're talking about Taylor Swift, and then I just be in this world where I'm listening obsctively come back talk and talking about it and get all these different I wish I felt by the lyrics and interpretations. I feel like you're You've given me meaning to being a swift Ee and I'm just loving it so much. And I know you think that sometimes people want you to stop talking about her, but I I love it and it's so much fun, And thank you for talking about her and her lyrics like me. Maybe there's also not no, I'm sure there's some out there. Love you guys all so much. Don't be cook and just good old jackpot good old jackpot. Um love that so much and like you're right, Like I do think some people are like, we're it's enough, guy, don't need it. But I I was on trash Tuesday yesterday. Annie Lenderman and um Kalila were there, esther wasn't, but they at the end of it, we're talking about Taylor Swift and um both of them were both like we have been like you know, Taylor Swift, tailor Schmidt, like we get it, but like this album is like, oh my god, I finally get Nikki's obsession. Like they they understood like how she like and she's a bad bitch. Like she's made being a girly girl powerful and like being in her emotions and being a little bit petty and being um insecure and be liking pink and liking sparkles and liking being like it's very feminine and it's so there's no one more powerful in the music business. Like how inspiring is that? Just outside of the music itself, Here's this girl that had curly blonde hair with her guitar and pretty dresses with her little eyelashes and singing about boys, and now she is a mogul and no one and touch how successful she is. And she writes about all these guys she's dated that are also famous, but they can't touch how famous she is either, none of them fuck you as I love it. I fucking love it perfect. She dresses for revenge. I'm I'm there for it. I love it. I um. The only song, like if you're interested about where I'm not right now, The only song on the album that I cannot get into is Snow on the Beach. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's I Lana del Ray is on it. She's barely on it. Let's be honest with herselves. She's like you, it's the same with the time um uh. One from her from Evermore, um uh, the one that they did a guest on. I gotta can't come up with the name of it, but I uh, till the day he did that one, they just oh, oh that's all they do and it they literally say nothing in it. And I made a I made a Instagram video making fun of her doing that shoot with them because she's like, guys, be on my song and they're like yes, and they're like, you know, they start singing. She's like, can you do that? The parking lot, like we're gonna record you out there, like there's you can't hear them at all, and Laana, you can hear it all on stow on the beach. She has like one part where you can kind of hear her voice. But that's fine. Taylor can do whatever the funk she wants. And and I actually, although you can't hear a lot, I think Laana is all over that song. And I think that's why I don't like it. I'm not a huge Laana fan. I want things to just be Taylor. I don't want other people in them, even though I know she's a great artist on her own, and I have gotten into her stuff after a lot of Swifties have written me and said you got to check out Laana. Um. But my favorite song is now Labyrinth. Um, I'm obsessed with it. It is so um. I just oh, I'm falling in love. It's just like sad and like I love the little sounds in the background that sounds like a little like, um, it sounds like glitches, not to reference her song Glitch, but it's just sounds like, oh, look what's arriving right now? My new uh, thank you, my new camera um, is what Ham? What are you talking about Ham? The glitch like that's their part on the song? Did you say Ham? Ham? Huh? I am, I don't know. Wait do you think that band name is Ham? Tim? There you go? Did you really think it was Andrew? I don't know. He doesn't joke the eyes island. No, it was not a joke. No, what that was real? He thought it was Ham. He's hungry, and I thought Ham fell on the record, you know what I mean, Like I've ever seen loose Ham Lana del Man array. Oh my god. Okay, we haven't even done Final Thought yet, I know Final Thought. Can we get one more? Yes? I just wanted to quickly say I have a friend in town. She's a huge Swiftie, and all of the stuff that you were talking about Taylor Swift has led me to ask, like, all these questions and we have not stopped talking about Taylor Swift, her dating history. My friend is also a Harry so we've been talking about I didn't know that she dated Harry Styles and the other day being like I didn't know that she Yeah, I mean out of the woods about him, and I definitely think that. Um um uh, what's the question is about him because at the beginning of the song question it references the song out the Woods, and we all know it's about so like. Yeah, at the beginning of question it goes I remember, which is a put a direct pull from what is happening outside. Someone is messing in my what is going on? I'm so confused getting stolen. No, I'm not out of the woods. I'm sorry. That was really weird. Um. Yeah, she dated Harry Styles, she dated um, Joe Jonas, she dated John Mayer. I didn't know any of that, so I got his lesson yesterday. And there are a lot more people that we suspect dated that she hasn't talked about. And I'm not talking about Gaylor stuff. I'm talking about other men she's dated. Some speculate that the song um uh, the one that she did the video in Africa, the um I know not, I know places, God damn it. What's it called? I have it right here? Wildest Dreams might be about Alexander Scarsguard, who she may have met on The Giver, which did film in Africa. So people are thinking maybe that's about him, but there's no substantial evidence. Um, the lead singer of nine five. She may have dated him or I know for a fact that she did. Um, yeah, Jake Owen that Oh there's a song. Did you ever ask him? But I don't know. I feel weird asking, but I will. You have to ask him. There's a song called um uh that's uh the twinkle in your there's something about a twinkle of your eyes? Which one is? It is a picture to burn? No, it's um, I forget what well, let me just look up really quick. That Jake Owen Andrew's Friends is someone that Taylor Swift allegedly wrote a song about out And I can't do first show research. Ask for show research. You definitely need to sparks fly, sparks fly, brain maining, braining brain. And there's tons of pictures of them together and she is cuddled up to him, Yo, like this is real. It happened. I think it happened. Um, he's a handsome man. Oh my god, I can't believe you know someone that may have been with Taylor Swift and you could get answers. I'm so mad he doesn't drink anymore. You could really get what would you want to how it happened, what went down, what he felt like when he heard sparks Fly might be about him? What does he think sparks Fly is about him? What in the song makes it think it's about him? What was the course of their Like, I don't know, thinks you would ask a guy friend if you've got if you christ, I know it would be way worse. It would be it would be too intimate. I would I would I think guys around him. Yeah, okay, I'll want to listen. I don't like to pry into Taylor. It really would not care about that. I just want to know, like did they talk on the phone? Did they talk on a I M I mean this is back in the day, Like how did they meet? Where did they first? Black eyes? What do you think? Do you? Okay, well, like stop this speculation, you get us answers, Andrew, you could have answer, okay, you know what. I I know. I'm glad we did this because I think I would have went straight to like so I was the sex and I'm glad that she was a virgin back then. Baby she definitely like I'm thinking this and she would not have fun Jake, and like they didn't date long enough? No way, No, I want to know about that and I don't want to know about that either. Yeah, I mean on the on on air. I don't actually, Nikki, she's so riled up. I think this voice message is perfect. Okay, I am Ryan Taylor, Nicky Andrew. Noah, it's her bestie Taylor here with a very Taylor centric question. Who I just listened to the episode where you see how many of something you can name in thirty seconds? Yes, and I'm so shocked, no want to ask you to name Taylor Swift songs. So, Nikki, how many Taylor Swift song titles can you name in thirty seconds? Go? Paris, out of the Woods, I know, places clean, ready for it, blank Space, bad Blood, Delicate, all too well, all to well. Ten minute version, that's cheating, um uh, this love um uh, sparks fly read, um I'm going through that New Romantics um uh. The hair style um uh. Ten minutes got you going, and then you go, that's cheating, And I was like, that's I thought. I almost counted that as a song. I My finger started going well. He called me on a Tuesday and he said he wasn't home. I could tell by the way he talked and from his lion tone he was cheated. That's cheating, cheating on me that we got it. That's it. Yeah, alright guys, I gotta go write the rest of the song. Thank you for listening. Have such a great weekend. Thank you for all the fan traxes. Leave us some if you are inclined to or inspired to, don't be Coo and Jean. Yeah Baby,

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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