The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm Nicki Glazer. I'm in Los Angeles, California. Andrew Colin is in St. Louis in his apartment. Noah is in Arizona, and here with me in Los Angeles, California. His friend of the show, friend of mine, comedian. UM. Just a wonderful person across the board. Uh, country music enthusiast. Uh. Carlisle Forrester, Hello, Hi Carlisle. UM, all this morning. Since we've been like gearing up for the show, Andrew and Carlisle have been singing country music. Um. Carlos would start a song and Andrew would finish it, or Andrew would start it and Carlisle would finish it. To prove that they know every country song, basically any song that you start, I'm gonna say from the years to seven, Okay, that's what they call prime country is Andrew, know that wasn't just prime country for you, Like, that wasn't just a formative time for you. You're talking about like those with like is the punt bad? Yeah? I think that's when I got into country. It was ninety seven where it was like, oh, the Dixie Chicks are on the scene. This is making it so that made a bad Chicks. No, no, no, I I would lump the Dixie Chicks in with that time frame where they after nineties seven, maybe they were okay, well, I mean they came out before them, but I think that they were really getting big in the late nineties. But I love that. I mean, when the Dixie Chicks came about, were you guys like because they seemed different to me in terms of instead of all these other song you're singing about, like the rain it falls and and I'm sad in the mall, It's like that that's kind black right there. Yeah, right, you were singing all the rain have fall for you, And I know just why you like rain. Okay, I second time around. The first time he goes sing it, I was like, this is a dud. But now I'm like, I'm I'm interested. I think it could be our single. Yeah okay, wait ocean from Property Property, No, that's your song? Um see, do you get what that's funny? Nicky? Because there is no ocean front property in Arizona. That's not funny. It's a comedic song. So what's the point of the song then, So what he says, he my million dead Californians. I got ninety million dead babies in an ocean near a Zona. They're floating around and had to destroy their crops. They're moving back. No, he's trying to take the girl that he's over her. And then he's saying, if you'll buy that, I've got some ocean front property. He's like, not really over. At the end, he goes, if you'll by that, I'll throw the golden gate in free. And the whole song is a big lie about Yeah, I get I mean, I get it that like he's making a point of like if I think not over you, I think he goes, like ship the ground, you walk off home, and I don't think about you every day, right, So that they're just building up to lies. And then I'm property And then you know he's not over and obsessed with you. Yes, um, and he is. He has seen an inconvenient truth recently and he just wanted to put some messaging in there. Maybe that's what my dad's climate change song is really about. I feel like writers, with country writers, they come up with something clever, you know, something clever like that, and people like adopt the fucking tape. Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like when you guys were property in Arizona, you were all you probably fucking ship your overalls. Did they do it? Second? I know what you did. I mean I did. I felt that way too when I would hear like kind of like clever things and songs and blew my mind. Yeah you're trying to think of like like song lyrics that I know that. I was like, oh, that's so like, um, I could hide out under there. I just made you stay underwear. That was clever. And I really liked it because like you think of the you'd have to fill in the blank that I contend is actually clever, and the Arizona thing isn't bad. I kind of like it. I think that's a sweet song. Um, beautiful, I like that song. Don't know she's beautiful. No, she's not that guy Nikki has the new verse to that. I forget what I said. She's got low self esteem and that's why I'll always be with her. Tell her how beautiful she is, because she'll leave me for a better man. Like it's all just like yeah, I mean they'reden Gate, they go together. I want her to be on the brink of jumping off the Golden Gate, but not enough to actually do it. She jumps, just not on top of the bridge, just when she just gets in so she doesn't die. But she's still be up there with her hair blowing in the wind, contemplating death. No one she can't do better than me. Constant. I don't want to actually want her to do it. I just want to pull my pick up close enough to it can't your in the bed of t interse after death, and then we go. Fuck. It was an amazing day and thank God for love. I pictured this whole time. He has a shotgun to her head, like they have so many guns. It's like, how are you going to leave a guy with ten guns? It's hard? Look you think twice about it. I mean we're talking about some some tougher issues here. I mean, I think that is the reason why so many women are like, I don't think I can go. Do you know that he's ready for the Civil war? People are like, why staying at Sharon's house for the night. I think he'll be able to find me. It's funny too, because he only lets her use the musket like it's like you're not touching the good guns. There are so many women out there that have an inkling that if I left him, he might kill me, Like there's they might not say it out loud, but they like they know they there is something in the back. I mean, I've I thought people would kill me before, Like I've had like things where I'm like, this guy is acting a little weird, like am I gonna get murdered tonight at this thing? I know he's gonna be at like or know I'm that you last night murdered, but now you have to worry about murder. Oh yeah, I mean yeah kind of. I was thinking about that. I was like, what a good way to go if I get assassinated? Austin, did you turn off your exact location off of Instagram? Because that's the thing people are talking about. How would anyone put their exact location? Everybody's sharing this meme right now that says that with the new iPhone update with the Instagram app only if you update both, your exact location is shared, so you have to physically go into settings. But I haven't been able to find the settings to turn it off. Everybody's sharing this mean that's like go in your settings and turn off, Like, yeah, this is what it does. He's like, go into your settings and then come to my house and wear something skimpy. And it's like, wait, what I didn't read? This is all in general. So you go to general and then you go back to text and then you type in eight one eight to six, seven, four three five nine, and then you put in your address. Are you sure that's within the Okay? A picture of your nipple to that Latin? Okay with you just a security card underneath it? Okay, Um, it's in braille. You fucking demolished last night? Oh thank you. Yeah, you've probably heard a lot of positive things, but you really did you own that thing? Well, it was so nice to have Carlisle there. It was so nice to have the support of everyone that, um, like you guys and all my fronts, like just everyone that was texting and saying nice things, and then the staff there's just like so nice and like I just was not nervous at all, and I got to say I kind of didn't. I was just kind of like, it doesn't matter, This doesn't matter even if it goes well, if it doesn't go well, Like it doesn't like no one remembers anything that happened a week ago, Like we're all talking about it this week. None of us will even remember a single detail of it in a month, Like it just things go so fast, like this is like a good moment for me, but like in a week, you it'll be like, what's what is she doing next? Like it's it was. So it's not that I'm not like under playing it and it doesn't matter. It does matter, but I just had to go in with that attitude of like like there were so many flashes of like wait, why did you do that? Oh God, like cringing moments where you're just like I was reliving them. They were like flashbacks, you know, and yeah you didn't. It's the terms and condition. It wasn't not going to fall out. I wasn't wearing underwear, and so it was a slippery situation on there. It was. It was hot, it was I was scared that I was gonna like pus sweat through the dress as I was sitting, So I was clamping like my legs so tight so that it would like keep it from like maybe you know, just like saturating down because I was like just hot from the adrenaline. Um, and everybody's going to have a little bit that like how do you how do people that don't wear underwear do that and stand up and not have a small little spot? Oh. I remember when I was doing f Boy Island and I was wearing a mini skirt and there was like a wooden I was sitting on a wooden like like a log, almost to do um. You know, I was sitting on one of their wooden hard bodies. I was, and I wish and I was. I remember was that that that I forget which one. It was like the yoga and strutter or something. Was sitting on the thing and it was so fucking hot. And I got up and there was like a wet spot but it was sweat, but it looked like I was just like sogging up this fucking branch, this old logging up the log. And all the guys saw it and they were like laughing. I was like, I really feel like a preschool teacher that like they're being like she pete And I was like, it's sweat, you guys, not corny for you at all. Um. But yeah, I'm always worried about that like leaving a puddle and having people think it's just like sweat pussy, like disgusting pussy juice, as opposed to like she's so horny for Danny de Vito or whatever. Whenever Brenna comes home, we call it business puss, which I think is a fun way to describe it. It's like not nine to five either, We're working twenty hours a day with that. Oh yeah, I mean I feel like goes back to smelling like pussy within minutes of the shower. Sometimes I just do it a test and I go did I forget to wash it? Not that it smells bad, but I'm like, how does it? How does it instant? Like armpits too, will instantly go back to armpit smell unless you nuke them with How do you test it my vagina? I just stick up a forekning or I throw it against the refrigerator and see if it sticks. Do you know that pasta tests? Um? Yeah, I just I think I just put it like I gently put my fingers down there and I just smell my fingers like classic. But I don't do it like I will do it very obviously. I never want to be caught doing anything like as so if I'm around Chris or something, I will do it. Chris doesn't like that kind of stuff, Like I just don't want Chris to like see me being gross, Like if I I'm getting ready for a trip and I picking up underwear, being like is this good? I don't want him to see me like being like, you know, so I try to hide it, but if someone catches me, I I'd rather be like obvious about smelling my vagina just to be like, but sometimes, I mean, it just smells like a vagina. It's not like it's like oh, but I mean there are some days where it's you know, I check my flow app to be like remember this day, Remember this day, it will go down and infamy b v D day. That was one of my favorite parts of the not you're smelling your pussy on late night, but uh when you asked a girl with your favorite date and she said June was the one of the funniest jokes. Like, it was so funny, dude, it was so funny. We didn't really like. I think one of the jokes you saw in there with the kids was when we gave them but the rust, which is so impressive with dealing with kids. I mean, most of the time you see things with kids. I know when someone's fed a line, I can tell, and so if I know it, then it's probably happening even more because kids do do a really What the trick is that you just have them say it, like repeat after you, you go, okay, repeat after me, my name is Megan, and they'll be like, my name is Megan. So then they just mimic exactly the way you're saying in so so you can get them to sound like they're unsure of it. So there's ways to trick, but we didn't have to do that. Like that kid at the end, who I just go, I think we're done here and he just goes And so I would have thought that was fake. If I saw that, I would have been like, that's so fake and what a dumb ending. That would really happened, And it was shocking, and um yeah, it really made me feel bad. It was. There was a touching moment where I asked a bunch of that took like four hours to shoot. I was sitting there for four hours. Um, I uh. There was one part where the kid I was asking them if I'd be a good mom and one of the kids was like yeah, and I was just like, like it got to like a motor where I was like, wait, why do you think? So he's like three, He's like I don't know, you're because you're nice and caring, and I was just like, can we cut it? Like it was just like will be married? He's like no, You're gonna get knocked up and the guy won't ever talk to you again. Oh my god. There were so many I mean, but that sketched to be edited so fast. I mean it was it went through like so many edits, like in the last minute, so there was a lot that was left on the Like it made me really excited to like maybe do a show where I could be in the edit room and like we could really tinker it with it for like a really long time because there were so many funny moments. It was Tuckey kids is so fun and they were so cute. You going from the roast jokes to that, like it just showed range and showed your heart and shows that like jokes are jokes and then like you know what I mean, I don't know, it was just I don't know, it's really refreshing. Thank you I'm glad you say that was exactly my intention was, like yeah, I was like, I want to do something with kids because I want to soften my image and I want to show people that I'm not like X rated and you don't need to keep me from them, and I can be like good with them and like and to show all my potential suitors like maybe I would make it good you wear like a skimpier outfit with the kids and you're like, so, what's it like to eat? Ask kids like, well, I wanted to sketch was to go, was to like toe the line, the entire sketch of being like when is it you know, when is it okay to go like t kiss on the first date? Should you ever go all the way on the first date? Like say things that kids don't understand means sex and not even ever answer. One time I asked a kid like, what's an F? Boy? What do you think the F stands for? Because it would just be funny for them to be like frog. But one of the moms was like, don't ask that, and I'm like, I'm not going to tell that. What are you? What do you think I am? Um? But then I wanted to end. I wanted to toe the line the entire sketch, and then I wanted to end with me being like, should you like suck a guy's dick on, you know, and swallows comment that on the end of a day, like on a first date? Is that too much to swallow? Commers? Should you spit out of the sucking um prius? And then I wanted it to like cut to just like and have people go like she did it. She would we knew she wouldn't. Then it cut to like a guy dressed as a child, like that would be funny. Yeah, yeah, I was, because if I wanted to play with that of like she's too much and then have them go to everyone go we knew it she was going to cross the line and then be like, no, I didn't, you idiots. I love them. I love the moment where you didn't kind of cross the line in like the most subtle way when you go, uh, what about if it's two women or two and she goes the older one who would pay? What about if it's two girls? Which that was because that's like for right wing people of being like, she doesn't need to know that two women can go on a date together, don't say gay grow Farmer's marketing for my daughter. But yeah, I know it's like it did Clint Black come back? Now? Yeah? And no, I I didn't think it crossed the line like for someone like me, but like no, but I was a little bit nervous. But I also like had it in my mind the whole time that we were doing this very heteronormative questioning about dating of like who should pay? Is it okay? Who should make the first move? Like everything was about straight relationships. So and I knew that little girl was probably like the thing is about kit now that I'm with my nieces and nephews, like they honestly don't know people are black and like think of that as like a different thing. They don't. Like I remember like trying to like be like, well, um, which where's the black guy? Like like asked like we were playing like a thing on like I don't know where's wald or something, and I'm just like where's this And I'm like trying to just be like, Okay, that's a person. It's not a big deal. They're black, but like where you know? And Lauren was like, they don't know what that is and I'm like, that's good, but like they just don't and especially in California, like two women is like all a bunch of their friends I think have two mommies. So she didn't blink an eye, but I loved her answer. It's so good the older and I like, ask you question it was and I was like, that's actually like a good system. Let's put it into place. All right, we have so much more to talk about. We will discuss all of it when we get back. I'm here in California with Carlisle and Andrews. No, no, it was an Arizona or lakefront property or ocean front view Andrews and St. Louis. All right, we'll be back with more. An I got an ocean from property in Hawaii. It's actually pretty right home. Alright, we're back, um. Question, like I feel like form for me if I was doing something like that, the hardest part and and I think when you have to read their credits of when you're in like she's doing this, she was on the good life, and like do you have multiple takes with something like that or like you know, just like the little things where you have to read from the prompter where it's not funny. It's like, here's a little bit of seriousness. Is that tough? That well, it is Jimmy Kim alive, but it's actually um not live. And so with the monologue, I stopped and started probably four times because I just messed up, Like with roast jokes I've learned with doing I just knew that roast thing could possibly go viral and I did not want to flobb a line. I didn't. I just wanted to be perfect, and I knew it would be tough and editing, but also the audience kind of likes it when you funk up and then you go, listen, this is TV, We're all having fun here, and it just kind of cuts the tension of like this is a taping. So I taught me that, and it is so pro because it takes absolutely nothing away from it. You're just like, uh, I'm gonna take that again, because why have this perfect thing where you just you know, flob one little thing and then the whole rest of the time you're talking. You go, I fun that one thing up and then and then it ruins the rest of your performance because you're still hung up. So I just I just stopped and say can we go back? And so they they I could tell they were probably like, Okay, this is a little too much, like she's taking liberties with like doing things over. But I just wanted to get it perfect. But then they were able to make it um. They just need places to cut, you know, so that it would look seamless, and so they ended up making it um like uh like I think the full screen they would go to images and they found a way to edit it that was easier for them. But that that's all I feel bad about, is like this editor is probably like Jesus Christ, I want to go home today, like or this is Thursday, it's our last day, Like come on, lady, um No, I think it would be worse if you flubbed the line and then he's sitting there trying to figure out how to fix that. It's like you're so pro do it for him. Well, that's something that would make I just know anyone that's gonna give me a late night show is not there in that studio watching me flub They're watching it online, and so that's more important. Like I think, I mean it could that it would also words to get out that I'm really fun to work with you know, like or that I'm really easy to work with, that I'm like all the things beyond the scenes. But no, you should how did the interview profect that part that you're talking about of Like you know here from four Seasons on the Good Place, she has a she hulk the whole thing that is honestly, um, reading a teleprompter is not for some reason some people is not easy, and it's just never been. It's never been a struggle for me. Like I've from Nicki and Sarah Live days when we would go live and have to read a teleprompter. I was always have a natural inclination for that. I would like the way that some people are just like natural born athletes. I can just read a teleprompter and like navigate it pretty simply. And there are moments where I'm sure there's times where I flow up lines because I just like too. There was something yesterday that I couldn't get the wording of because it was like two words together that just didn't seem right to me and it's not the way I say them or something. Um. But in those intros, No, I just got lucky and got him right the first time. It didn't even occur to me that they could funk up. I think the second I go, this could fuck then it sucks up. Um. But with the interview, feeling like when to come in because everything has to be tight, right, you got the hardest party, so how do you know? I was like, god damn it. Like the monologue, I was not worried about at all. The that was just like, oh I do this all the time. It's like doing stand up and it was easy peasy. The interview is like the hardest part where I was just like it it sound like an interview. It just sounds like you were chit chatting with them. It was so natural and even like when you threw yeah, like when when you threw to the video, you know, I know, the behind the scenes stuff. I just could not believe. I would not have expected you guys going to the video of Jamila getting kicked in the puss and it just seemed like they just had it ready. It was so seamless. Well they we they did. They have everything ready. Like it's such an interesting like the way I mean, the producers for these guests, like you don't know. I never knew what went into having a guest on a late night talk show. You interview, they interview them these people like comb They give you packets, like a thick packet of information about this person, about every you know, thing they've been like docks for you, like everything about their life, and it's like a biography. And then they also have a call with them to like talk about stories that would be good to talk about. And then I kind of came in with some ideas, like that mean idea for Danny DeVito, for him to recreate memes that was good pants. That was so funny. That's that he smiled. He was like I like it, whether you gotta push through or whatever. He said. It was funny you're lying to him about the oil, like the call back there. Yeah, that was going to be in prison together. That was so fun. And then what's her name was a perfect match for you. Thank god. We had done a podcast together before and both had like mutual admiration, and she found out I was guest hosting, and so she had reached out to me a couple of days before and was like, I'm so excited at you, and like it was so sweet and so as soon as Danny DeVito's interview was over, I was like completely calm because I was like, Okay, the show is over because Jamila, like this is it was I already know this person even though we've never met in person person, but um divito. I was just nervous about just because he's done this so many times that he could probably smell the fear or like just and I felt like bad, Like, man, he this is his tenth time on the show. It's like now he has to be with a guest host. Because I gotta say, like when you do a late night show and you find out it's a guest host, you're like, less eyes are gonna be on this, Like it's just not the it's not as special, it doesn't really count as much to you. So I kind of felt like bad that he was on when I was on. So um it was it was just nice once that interview was over and that meme thing like really made me feel like, oh we ended on such a high note and that was that was really fun. Like I found the things I liked do. His Arnold story was captivating, Like the whole thing was captivated. It wasn't like there wasn't I mean, yeah, he I love that. I mean I love when he he gave you really good props to about your jokes about the you know, your monologue, and then he's like fun and like he just leaned into it, and you could tell he respected the funk out of it, Like I don't know, you could see it. I kind of felt bad about the Marjorie Taylor Green joke where I said that she and I she looks like if we had, if I know what I would my daughter had a baby with Mickey Rourke, because it's just like making fun of someone being uglier than me. I guess is the joke like it's like an ugly woman joke, but she's such a cunt that, Like I felt like last night, I was kind of like, is that what I want to put out in the world where we like, what if a woman's watching that and she like has like a cross eyes and then she's going to feel like, oh, I'm less like I made people should laugh at me because my eyes are crossed, Like I felt like, man, that's and I did take out like a joke. When we said that Ted Cruz was fat, I was like, we're not going to say fat. Can we just say he's gained a little bit of weight? Because I don't want it to be like a thing where we eat fat. So I tried to lay off on some places, but there was a part of me that was like, I don't want this woman to be squatted anymore. That is awful. I don't want to be squatted. I um So there's a part of me because when you do the Comedy Central roast, it's like they people sign up for them, and these people didn't sign up for it, but in a way they did because they're terrible people who care about no one except money and themselves. So I just had to rationalize it that sometimes you just gotta meet him at it. I just like Trump saying. It's like I just couldn't even articulate how much I hate him, like a Rose Show couldn't. It couldn't. Like at first, I think it was like, oh, now I know what soff crust pizza looks like if it could grab your puss. And I was like, self, crust pizza is not enough for me. Like she's like sunburnt, like uh, you know, abused factory farm, dead, bloated corpse pick. Like I was just like going store. I was like, I sulicity and that joke is so good. I was so impressed by y'all just working up until like the last moment, Like the writers would come in, they would rework stuff, then they would go retype it all out for her, then come out with more stuff highlighted than they go over it again. And that process is just like all day and an ever changing malleable set, and it's just really impressive how you like can like retain all of that as it's just this moving, ever changing organism and then you deliver it and you remember, Like that's my favorite part about it, is like you up until the last second, like on the dress, and I was like, is it funny to say that if Jimmy, if this goes bad, we're gonna green screen Jimmy kimel into the stress and they're like, that's great, let's just add it in. It was like two seconds for and like all these things like kept getting um at, Like me asking Gamo about his date was like they were like, hey, he's been on a bad date. Asking about a date that was right before it was like um rose jokes, skinning cup. But that I love that process of like, uh yeah, that was the most fun part. But that that was all day long, like I got there at nine. I arrived and I did not I think I had thirty minutes to myself where no one came in and like brief me, because it's like they come in, they talk to you about the monologue. Then you go and watch you go run through jokes with like the whole staff meeting, and they all clap when you enter the room, and like it's this big room of staff members, and then you watch all the clips that they have, and then you go back to your green room and then they bring in notes. Then the guest prep people come in and then they leave, and then they come back later to tell you what the guests was said, and then they come back later to to show you the cards and make sure the cards okay. Then they come back, like it is constant streams of people coming in. And the best part about it, though, is like it is such a fine oil machine. Like that was my worry was like two days ago, I had no idea what it's gonna do for any of this, Like I knew I was shooting that thing, but I had no idea. I was going to say, that is absurd for me to not know what I'm doing two days before a big deal, like it's not. But I could do that because I knew. I gave myself over the process, and there was you know, I gave myself over to like these people are better at this than I am. They know what they're doing. If they're not freaking out, I don't need to freak out. And it was a lesson in not thinking, you know, better, not trying to control things, because they they did say to me, like, we're so glad to have you as our last guest host because it's it's hard for them, Like I'm sure that on purpose they could go like cruise control a little bit. I don't know, it's good. You were the perfect vehicle for all of their talents to just like shine through. And when I was watching you last night, you know like, um, I just want to tell you, like, at the risk of like losing our work relationship, like you are meant for late night TV, Like you just fit perfectly. You know you're you're trying to don't ever have aspiration look over the mustache cut my life. I don't know, I I definitely see it in your future. You just just fit that role so well. It was so fun. Thank you so much. I like I really did, um, I love for you to get the job. And then you cut to like five years from now where you've done shows and you show up there at like four thirty in the afternoon. You're like, Okay, what are the fucking jokes? Okay, I gotta read like, yeah, Chris, my schedule to be like this was what this is what my life would look like if I had this kind of show, Like it's interesting to see the rundown of like all the meetings stacked like what your day looks like. And I'm like, it's a legit nine to five, Like I don't think I've ever had that, And he was like, Jimmy does not come in at nine And I was like, oh, like you get to a place where like you don't have to come in that early. This is because they have to explain everything to me. But then I get there and I realized I think he does. Like Jimmy Kimmel is like he crosses every T, dots every I like everything goes through him, and you can tell it does. Like that staff everyone has been there forever. Everyone they have rituals where like when you run out, they're like best show ever, Best show ever. And you have to fist pound everyone and you have to like hit a certain thing on the ceiling, and like you have to like there's all these like fun family rituals. There's like there's tons of it's everyone there you can tell is really taken care of and like loves their job and um, but I would have to work it into a thing like in terms of our card, like our guest cards. Like I looked at what Jimmy has generally when he has a guest, and it looks like some pages out of like Moby Dick, Like it is fine print, like like he has all the questions like details, lots and lots of words. And he they said he worked up to that where he's able to like conduct an interview, read the is like long paragraphs, also deal with the prompter and like, but I was, like, I just want words like bullet points like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uh cartoon with daughter, Like I just want big And so I think if I think I did it, I would probably do it away where I could show up at three some days and get it done, just because that's would be the best show for me. Whereas Kimmel, his best show is if he is like he wants he needs to be there whenever he shows up. So I think it's just like, you know, not one size fits all, but it does take. Um, it takes a lot. Like it would be fun to get good at guest interviews where you would just be like, oh, I'm an old pro with this, because how it is so awkward to go from a conversation to go, all right, well, thank you so much, you're you can see Carlile Forrester this fall on, you know, like it's so awkward to go from a story to find an out, like all those all those little things that you kind of watch interviews and you go you never pay attention to him, think about doing it, you're self. I was not. I had some really awkward moments that thankfully they cut around, But like that was the joy of doing a show that's not live. And literally no one does a show live on TV ever anymore, so you don't you don't need to. And that's the joy of of taping these things is that you can just take them over and it's not a big deal, or if you funk up, it's just a good lesson. And like I just kept saying to myself every time I would suck up and it would be something that would like kind of stick in my head and kind of follow me. I'm just like dump it, man, like start over, like you gotta don't let that. Then make the rest of the ship like it it's gone, it happened, leave it. And throughout, like I was saying, throughout the night, I kept just like having intrusive thoughts of like, oh, that was a really awkward moment. Why did you say that? Oh you forgot to say that really funny thing. You could have said that, and it was just like it's done. What is the point of this? So that next time you're interviewing Danny de vito as in a green dress, you can say that line like these things you're worried that you did and say it's not this is not helping anything. It's just making yourself feel bad. Unless I'm worried about things that I go next time, I want to do that differently. But this is all stuff that's just why did you do that? You idiot? Like that kind of stuff. Once you kind of think about the utility of those thoughts of like what is this doing for me, you can kind of go, oh, well, then let me drop it because I only kind of want to have thoughts that are helpful and doing something where you're teaching me that and I need to remember that, like about even like with comedy, like Nikki was the first person that taught me just like it's a set. Who cares, it's a comedy set. You're gonna have another one tomorrow night. Like let it go. You just it happens. That's a same thing with an audition, you know, do it, let it go. It's not gonna like help anything to dwell on it. It's going to perpetuate more so hard not to. It's the hardest, I think to do it. But I think we're the reason why we are artists. Were pretty emotional about it's hard for us to watch game film and not feel like if you had to watch it over again and break it down, Yeah, dude, I can. You were always like fast and loose with your words, and like any podcast or any interview, I'm always like, oh, why did I say that? Or what do you get like that after being on stage or being on a podcast or I did sometimes like I used to go on podcasts and be like, I gotta get my story out if I get these stories out people will like me and they like the stories, and so I, you know, I'd go on like Tuesday with stories. I remember I did a live show with them, and I put them on such a high pedestal in my mind. And I literally was throwing up outside Stand Up New York because I thought I was sick, but I just made myself sick with anxiety. God and uh and it was like I just went up there and I told like a fifteen minute story. But I didn't even let them have time to like like bullshit and like it wasn't present. I was just spitting it out because I was a girl like me if I tell you this story. And and I learned a lot though from that, you know, like I learned you know that they'll never have me on again, you know, like I learned that. I learned that they'll never respect me. You know, that is such a classic thing to do. I've done that so many times too. But you're right, you do learn that because maybe you would have done that on a more important podcast or like you had to learn that lesson that was like not going to be something you figured out without doing it and failing and talking about watching game tape or whatever. Like I was at the comedy store the other day and there's this guy that's following me around to do a piece on me for Esquire magazine, and he was talking to all these comics about their process and listening to your like self after you record it, and I was he was like, I was like, I've never listen to myself ever, ever, ever. I record every set and I never have and I never and that's why I don't post clips and myself, I you know, my Netflix or my both my Netflix special and my HBO special were like delayed because I couldn't, you know, watch myself. And Kurt Metzker was there being like, oh man, that's like you know, his friends with Louis. He's like, that's what Louis says, like, is the only reason he is who he is because he, you know, listen, he listens to himself right after he gets offstage, takes notes and everything. And I said to the guy, you know, yeah, that's what separates the greats from the you know, good enough like it will and he goes, then why don't you do it? And I go because it's I just I can't. I really have resigned myself to like it is not. It's so uncomfortable to me that i'd rather I'm I'm fine with the success that I've achieved from not doing that. And he's like, why do you think it is? Because it's never as bad as you think it's gonna be. The problem is it's I think it's gonna be worse then I think it is. But in my head, I'm like, that set was so good, I don't want to listen to it because it's going to be not as good as I have it in my head, and then I'll realize what a fraud I am. Yeah, I'm gonna apt to watch a bad one that I know is an like, yeah, because that's probably better than what you haven't because you go either way. You either think it was the worst set ever and you go, oh, that wasn't so bad, or it's the best ever and you go, actually was kind of mediocre. But um he was like, and I go, you know, and we kind of determined. Part of the fear is like if you never if you always leave this thing of like if I did that, I could be the best. You always have an excuse why you're not the best. But I I'm not even saying that, being like, I know my potential. I'm always leaving potential on like and it's and I don't think it's because I'm scared that if I try, I won't actually be as good. I literally know how good I could be, Like I don't doubt it. There's no part of me that's like, but what if I'm not like I know it? Like I know that sounds like I just know what. Everyone must know this in their own lives of like I could be this good at this thing. If I went to the gym more, I could have this many muscles, like I could look, I could have that body. Oh if I didn't eat this every day, or if I if I s this much more time with my kids, I would have a better relationship. There's always things you're leaving on the table, and it's like, well, then why don't you do them? If you know? That's what's I don't know. I don't know why don't we do it? I don't mean because it's not that because things and you go I don't want it enough, But have you tried to do it? And have you really? I know what? I know it works because when I do a late nights. When I did the Kimmel thing, I meticulous with all those jokes, wrote every joke and you know, tinkered with them. Had you know even the jokes that you wrote for me that I had my friend JP right for me. Like I went in and like I paid it. I wrote them down, I paid attention to them, I practiced them. I went back and like went over my notes and it's and then used the proof is in the pudding. But then my own stand up I cannot do that with like I just don't want to go back to it. It's it's or when I've done a late night said, I have to give a transcript, so I write it all out and then it's like that's why I have such a great late night stand up set. Do you think do you think you're too connected to your stand Well, your stand up is way more personal than like a roast jokes. So it's it's you, it's who you are, like it's and it's just I don't listen to myself. The joy of doing stand up is the moment and having that like high on stage and then leaving it and just and also I'm not someone who like is so like live in the present, even though I know that's the key to like a good life, But listening to an old set, I set I just did when I had fun on stage is to me not living in the present, like I just want to go home, and like I wanted to be over And honestly, there's some things in life and I think we all have this where it's good enough, Like I know I could do better, whether it's a relationship, whether it's like friendships, whether it's your body, Like we're leaving so much on the table all the time. I have a good life. I don't need more money. I don't need to perform at Matterson Square Garden as a comedian. I don't care. But like I told this interview or the other day about um envisioning myself performing at Madison Square Garden and how you were like, oh, I thought you'd want to be there as a comedian, I'm like, oh no, I don't like the most I want to do as the VIC theater, Like I don't care about doing stand up in an amphitheater. That seems really dumb to me. Honestly, it just doesn't seem to have like be as like the best place for stand up. I just it's not that I don't love stand up and I will always do it, but I just, um, I don't I don't crave more from stand up. Right now, I feel like I've achieved exactly what I want to. There's something about, like I don't know if it's narcissist or what, like to listen to yourself back and be like, man, I really nailed that, or like that was such a good. Um these comedians that are listening to themselves I have mentioned is that they love them they hate themselves clearly because it's interesting the defeating behavior and the self sabotaging behavior. But like narcissism comes actually from a place I think of deep insecurity, Like you have to go the other way with it. So like when you you look at these people, like the other day Carlisle was talking about some when that is so confident, She's like, why can't I be as confident as he? As he just like exudes this, Like I mean, what were you saying like this? He just exudes so much charisma and self confidence. I was like, he loves himself so much, And I was like, no, he doesn't, because to me, we saw the same person and I go theybe. That person is is not does not love them Like, yes, they they've accepted themselves, but they're not like that's not that comes from a deep place of insecurity. I mean if you look at that person's history, like I could point to things that I go, like, an insecure a confident person doesn't have this like or the you know. So it is interesting though that you do look at these people that are so fucking confident and you go, God, I think that's is that the missing thing for me? Is that the missing thing of like making it? It's just narcissism and believing, like the sociopathy because yea oftimes like I used to have that and it fades more as you like get smarter and why is it you know, older and whatever. But like whenever I was like eighteen years old, like I remember, people will be like my parents or whatever, like you just think you're like you're always going to be And it's I wonder why that with parents that go do you think you're gonna be someone you can't do? Ship Carlyle good look making it to the ghost Bridge. Yeah, you think you're this basketball machine at twelve. You think you're good at conceded remember the word conceded. You don't even hear it anymore. Us confidence rewarded even Yeah, and now it's it's the total opposite. It's like build yourself up. Yeah, if you come on and you talk about there's this guy entertained who just got kicked off everything whatever, whatever you want to say about freedom of speech, whatever, But he just talks like this and everything is confident, and I take women by the hair and I drag them around because I'm a strong alpha man. And everyone's like, whoa dude, This guy talks clear and with authority, and they get full. You get full, you full young kids like I don't know, like, but then you're like, what should I talk? Like? Hitler talked pretty confident. I'm sure he didn't love himself, but they he ended up murdering himself in a bunk, like you know, like these people end up painting suicide that they don't Actually, I'm actually happy, and I just think because I feel that way all the time when people about my own self, we gotta go to break. But like when I when people are like you are killing it, Like yesterday was like a day on social media that I'm sure anyone who is having a rough time in their career. They look at my Instagram who compares themselves to me, and they go, God, she's doing everything, like she's killing it. She hosts this, she's like and just projecting so much onto me that I would do the same thing. And there was just a part of me that was like I wish they could see, like me alone in my hotel room, like waiting for uber eats, literally having this be like the highlight of my day, taking a bath, really not knowing what to do in the bath, like being bored within two seconds, getting out reading a book, putting that down, being on Reddit until five in the morning, not being able to sleep, like reading about Columbine, like this isn't like this isn't really what it looks like my spray tand like the splott nous of my body, like that is all. Um. I have to remember that it's not all what it seems, because there there are times that I've lived like the perfect image and I'm just like, it's not that. But like they go, they go, you know, they talk like this, and then every fifteenth Instagram posts them just crying, and then I'm also just like you, and they're like all right, I need more tears. Can you put more people? You know what? That feels like this same kind of confident Yeah, but it's like it's confident in beam just like I don't know, there's an in performative yeah yeah, but like I'm a real person, um, even though it's a ring light on me and I'm crying with a filter on cry filter, so it's all such lies. It's um, it's more fun to just uh, I just like when but it is hard to hear someone like Jamie. Jamie will be like and I'm just a puddle with bangs and I'm like, You're like, stop it. You're gorgeous like that, like people that look so gorgeous. Yeah, Like I only bang my way down and she yeah, and you go, honey, I think you could bang at the top. You were like one of the most sunning people I've ever seen. I was literally gob smacked looking at her, Like she was one of those people that you see in person and you just go, WHOA. I get why she was discovered, Like she just radiates so um. Yeah, some people getting together, I know, colorful. You never you never see that. It's like we were like dumb and dumber going to parties. That's how right. All right, we gotta go to break. We'll come back with more right after this. Alright, we're back with Carlile Forrester. Um. We are going to play top one bottom one. It's Monday, okay. The category four today's top one bottom one is something in an airplane on a flight in an airplane, so when you're flying places, we're going to talk about the thing you like the most, and things like the least on Oh I thought it was stories from a flight. I apologize. I mean, this is a loose segment. There's no rules just right at but Statehouse. I think that was that was bad. Um, okay, so let's start with the least. That's the bottom one on a plane. I will say, um, the guy. Recently, I had a thing on the plane where the guy just really wanted to talk to me, and I could tell that they were just staring at like what I was doing, looking for anything to like comment on, and and then starting to like judge my movements and like just looking for something like not a pillow, or like just the guy next to you who wants to talk to you so badly, And then when you finally given and talk to them. They don't really want to talk to you. They want to talk about themselves, and they're not even interested in anything that you're sharing. They just want to talk about themselves. And that's that's this this energy I got from this guy recently of like, oh, he's watching everything I do, just waiting to go, like, okay, um, reading a book there don't like and you couldn't be you're the most closed off. It's essentially like you build your own little fort. It rarely happens. That's when I noticed this guy because I was like, he's way and for an inn and he doesn't even understand. He doesn't have air pods, so he doesn't understand how shut out I am to any noise he's making. So he's going to think I'm rude when he eventually talks to me because I will not hear it because I have noise canceling headphones, ones that are blaring airplane noise from my white noise app to double down on my favorite thing about an airplane, which is air blane noise. But yeah, um, I can't, I can't stay. I just learned so much in my early in my career of traveling all the time to never engage with an a man at the scene next to you. And I'm not talking about a man my age. It's usually uh fifty years plus. Do not talk to those men on plane if they are too chatty, and they will ask for your number and they will want to stay in touch, and it's just it becomes I made a mistake so many times of giving these old men my numbers, um, just to be nice and then just like flirting with me for years via text, and it's just so gross. Um and uh oh, but I did have us on the plane here the whole time, like I ate like so, I ate like a monster. Um, I slept like a monster. I was disgusting, and I had a feel like at the very start of the plane, I could sense that he kind of clocked me and then was texting a lot on his phone, and I was trying to see his phone if he was like because sometimes I'll look on their phone and I see them looking up. I see my face on their phone, so they're trying to verify it's me, So they like google my name to like see a picture, and it's like the it happens. It happens a lot. And I've done it before with celebrities, where I'm like, if you do that, just hide your phone so the celebrity doesn't see. So I looked at his phone. It didn't have me on it, but I could see like him feverishly texting his friends. And I was like, this guy who was like kind of quiet before, is all of a sudden, after he's clocked me, he's like writing. So I was like maybe, but then I was like, Nicky stopped being full of yourself, like you're not who cares, no one, no one knows who you are. And then as soon as we land, he just goes. I just want to say I'm a big fan. I'm like I have been farting next to you from five and a half. I like bend next to you. I put a blanket over my head, like uh, just went to the backroom like eight times, Like I just like that, dude. I really love how like you're just yourself and it's like, oh my god, I know. I just let my head down, put a pillbottle between my my bucket and my like I to spread my toes. I was like doing some really weird stuff and I'm like, God, this would have been nice to know that you know who I am. It is a weird feeling to have to just be yourself on a plane or in any situation and then at the end of it for someone to go, I know who you are, Like that doesn't that doesn't happen in life where you know, unless maybe like I know your mom and you go, oh no, god, is someone my feeling? But yeah, so that was my worst That actually was nice. That guy was very nice, But um, I wish you would earn it earlier. What about what's the worst thing? I guess, Uh, this was pretty bad. I saw, Um, you know, my brother was was way smart to me, my older brother, and he'd like to outsmart me a lot, and uh, I don't even think this. It's funny when you think back and you're like, man, he tricked me. But really I should have saw it coming, you know what I mean. Like sometimes you're like, man, how did he think of this? But really this is exactly like he put two catchup packets down. He's like, I bet you should punch him, and I was like no, and he just punch him as hard as you can, yeah, to catch up packets, And I was like, are you sure I should do it? He's like, yeah, that'd be cool. And this was on your way to Jackson Hole last week. Like how old were you? I want to set the stage here. I would say I was like eight or nine. So he's like he's like twelve. Yeah, he's just smart enough to know that this is a horrible idea. And I fucking punched He's catchup pack because I want to impress him too at the same time. And I punched him and to catch up flies like seven ft and lands on like a hundred and forty year old woman's face, like and she's just like she was sitting next to you, like on the road. No, she was like it was back. It was far enough where I don't even know I can't remember whether or not. Yeah, like the Vegas shooting, they're like, where is this coming from? I mean they can't they do not know where it's coming from. I'm sorry. It was like JFK assassination. It was like this was it even displaced back into the left. Yeah, so I blamed I think it was blood too, because yeah, they were like she's yeah, she's just old enough where she just started bleeding randomly. Uh. Yeah. I didn't get caught though, somehow did your parents get mad at you? Um, I can't remember if they were even on the flight or listening to us or talking to us at that time. I think my mom was drunk and my dad was looking at reports, you know, didn't catch up on those reports. I don't know why. It wasn't like I guess I didn't get in that much trouble to think back, but I just felt so horrible for this old woman who she didn't need to screamed yeah, And also like I feel bad for that kid being so dumb to do that, you know what I mean? Oh, I like that we're looking at him as not you, But yeah, he was just a kid. He didn't no, no nothing. I remember one time spilling catch up on my hands and walking to the bathroom at a McDonald's when I was like maybe in third grade, and this man was like, are you OK? Like I thought it was like blood all over my hands, and I remember being so scared by his reaction, and I was just like, I don't know, like I just remember being like, Oh, that's what it's like to get like like real attention from some like some like too much, like someone being so concerned about you that it was just like Jesus Christ, chill out, and you're like, am I okay? Like am I? Like? You start questioning everything, starting me like someday you will start bleeding and it needs You're a woman like that, too young for this? Where's my dad? I handed my brother a knife one time and he took catch up and he put it all over his hands and said I stabbed him. And I was running around crying, thinking I stabbed my brother. That was in Jackson All. I got to be a successful one. Now, Um, okay, Garlan, what about you? Okay? Story or just like thing on a plane that's at least I'm just going right to story because I had to do the worst thing, which is did you autopilots? I had to get my two cats to Mississippi. And if you remember this, it was right before I was moving in with you to do Dancing with the Stars, and we thought we were going to live in this apartment for a lot longer than we actually did, but they did in the long So I had to get these two cats back to Mississippi in an airplane bag that goes under the seat to have to fit in the one that goes under the seat. That's the like rule f C C rule. But then fun cat cats are already had them drugged whatever, and they're like, now they wouldn't fight. No, how did you drug them? You're veable describe it and so prepared for them in the bag the whole time, she just blew smoke into the back, just smoked. No. So then the flight's about to start and the flight attendant comes around and she's like, okay, you need to take one of the cats out of the bag and I was like what, and she's like one needs to go on your lap. Two cats in there and everyone knows it's coming out of the back show. I was like, that is the worst idea ever. The bag like it's like, oh my god, just that's the rule, Like one has to ride on your lap. So I was like, which one is going to be more docile? And I just got like the older one and pulled her out and she's trying to like jump on the plane and I'm holding her and then she just took a ship. I don't want to stressed. She was so stressed out and she was medicated, and I felt so bad for the people next to me because they're like, who is this who brings two cats on a plane, Like I look like a crazy person. It's because I have to move them back, like they both live there now, so like it's the one time in life this is ever going to happen. But for that one plane, right, I was that this is a lesson, like don't get like, don't get animals if you don't have a plan. I know, well they live for twenty two years. I mean I had these cats two thousand. There are so many times where people have to move or like their situations where people are like I got I don't know what to do with my dog, like having pets. No, I would never really hold back people from so many things. My plan was always for them to go to their golden years in Mississippi, which is what's happening now, which is a great life for cats. Were the people next to you being like you could hear them like huffing and they were laughing. They were these two boys that were like on their way to a wedding and I think they were cousins, Like no, man like because it smells so bad, and I was just like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And the cats fighting the thing trying to get it. They were fighting in the bag too. In the bag they had gotten sick and everything, and I'm hold, why didn't just why did you do? Like when we know that the cats were going to do this? I think it was the medicine that the vet gave them just relaxed them and it relaxed their bows. You guys, stop giving your cat like when people fly with their animals, they medicate them. It's just such a bad ide. Yet just I don't know what it is with cats, but with dogs, just put them in the bag and stop checking on them, just like be confident that that's where they belong. And your dog will read your energy. It was the best advice I was ever given. It changed the way I traveled with pets. I was always dealing with dogs that were doing the same thing, freaking out, shitting like like trying to get out. And then the second these gay guys were like, oh, you're traveling with a dog's rough, isn't it? And I was like, I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice? And they were like, once you they are reading your energy. If you're nervous about them in the bag, they're going to be nervous about being in the bag. They go in the bag, you're confident they should be there. They're gonna take them out when the planes right over is over. If you are just confident they belong there and that it's not a big deal, and you're not constantly like are you okay? Are you Like they're not gonna worry about it either. And it was like magic. I couldn't believe how it worked. Where I was just like Luigi, that's where you're going, and I'm just leaving you there and you're fine and I'm gonna go to sleep. Never an issue again traveling with pets. But I'm sure it's overall. And I was sitting in theself, know what, what's your at least favorite thing about a plane? I cannot stand when, um, someone who's in the window seat like opens their window and let's light into a dark plane, especially when it reaches My dad does that. My dad loves a window seat. And if he's sitting in the aisle and someone is the window and they don't open the window, he goes, she's not even open the windows, like that's the points next the window. Like He'll start huffing and puffing and being a little baby about it and be like, I mean I like the window. I would use the window like he loves the window. Then he gets mad if you're on a Southwest light and you pick like a seat for him that is on the wing, because then he doesn't have a good view because the winning like he loves out there doing he just likes the view. I mean it is kind of impressive. Air travel is amazing. But like my dad a wonder that is like a childlike wonder. It's right, but you're when it is dark on a plane and the light is abrasive, the sun is setting or the sun is howiver, get a sleep mask if you don't like his Other night, I was reading on a plane and it was dark, and I put my overhead light on because I wanted to read this book that I had a tangible book, and I felt bad because I'm like, oh, the cabin's dark. I'm putting on this reading light. And then I go, if people don't like light and they want to sleep, get a fucking sleep mask, Like there's a solution if you don't like light. So but I know some people don't like sleep mask. You see light coming in, let that be your queue to wake up and see the fucking Grand Canyon because it's on the left side of the plane, even though you're on the right. So look at the other look at the ocean view. If you look out a window of any plane, you see the Grand Canyon. It don't matter how far you are that Grand Canyon. It's okay. What's your favorite thing about being got a plane? Can I just say one more thing I hate real quick? I hate one people put up the airplane map of where we're going to. Oh, I hate it so much so I have to look and go we're in Tennessee and we have to be in Alaska, and you fucking are watching now, you prick. Now I have to watch the slow mo of this fucking I was like, I hope it crashes on there, and they really watch these people just like these people are such control freaks. They need to feel like they're in the cockpit some way, so they have like this is control freaks that are watching this. And Celsius did the fahrenheit. It's quite cold up here, and you believe that what I'm trying to think. I mean, we could just do all things we hate. But what's your favorite part about air travel or being on being on an airplane. I mean, my favorite story is when I was flying. My little brother was afraid to fly. And I've told you this before, but he was in the back and he was having a full on meltdown and UH and the pilot came back after we took off. He was crying so hard, he was like fighting, he had like super strength, and he finally calmed down because we gave him like a half of an X And the pilot comes all the way to the back of the plane and he looks down. He's like, son, I just want to let you know we're gonna get you home, all right. And Sam looks up and he goes, who's flying the plane? So I just envisioning like an empty steering wheel just go you know, Carlile like, it's just crazy. I would think that too, Yeah if I was Yeah, yeah, oh my god. It was the best moment of my life. I laugh every time I think of that story wedding, because he's the pilot thinks he's really like changing this kid's life, even though he's giving him so much more alarm. UM plane was when I sat next to Um, two of the only surviving UH Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz story. Jerry. Uh, he told it on you up. Jerry. Wait, let me look. Look, I remember that Jerry Munchkin. Him and his wife were both munchkins. Jerry Maron. That's right, Jerry Maron and his wife. Um, we're both in the Lollipop Guild. He died eighteen. He was old as funn He died at the age of UM. I met him and probably, I mean he was at the window, his wife was in the middle seat. I was on the aisle and I was flying out to l a from like some ship gig when I was just broke and like not doing well at all. And he and they were so nice. We started talking all about the business. And they were telling me all about the Lollipop Guild. They would make appearances. That was like how they were making money. So they were telling us all about me, all about you know, what it was like to be they still really represented the Lollipop Guild. And we're going out there. Uh. And they worked like they were so adorable. They loved each other so much, and and he told me I was going to make it. He was like, I just have a feeling about you. You're gonna make it and it was very like I really felt that he believed it, and like, I don't know if I felt like it was magical somehow having a munch can tell me that or something, but like it just felt it was such a lovely flight. We're talking to someone but under right now the Wizard of Oz. Yeah, so like nine, like he was in the Wizard of you're thinking of bloom Pas. We represent the lollipop Gilp, the lollipop Gilp. Yeah, those two, Um, it was like a fever dream. I couldn't even believe it that I was and got to sit next to them, and then they were so nice and we talked the whole way and that they I think they gave me like a present or something at the end of it to remember them. It was so nice. But it was such a wild um but that was my best flight. What about you, car Oh, I was just gonna say, I could really stretch out. You're like, that was a good fly. Can lay down on top of them, that's so funny. I just put them under the seat in front of me. I was like, you guys, can't down. You can't put too much in one bag. You have to have one on your lap and one under the seat. That's FCC regulation as we've learned. No, okay, this is very meta. Because I'm here now, I don't know how meta. How meta is this gonna be? Nikki, this is going this is I'm even using the word. That's what I'm on the fence about here, is that every what do I have a feeling that will be? I think she's going to nail it. My favorite thing about being on a plane is listening to this podcast. Well that is meta. Yeah, and I'm inside of this podcast, so that is so nice of you to say. Also, right now, are you on a plane? It is Oh, yes, someone on a plane right now listening to this. It is nice. There's something about listening to podcasts on a plane. I love laughing so hard at something on the plane that I have to turn it off because I am being one of those people that's like I'm having so much fun by myself. Like I just hate people that like laughed themselves where it's just like we get it. You like are entertained by art. Like you you have your own little private world. You're having fun, you have a good life, Like there's parts of me as soon as I start laughing, like at a book or something. I'm reading them always just like everyone hates me around me anything. I'm like trying to happening on Columbine and Nicki's just like just like it's like chapter eight, like when they all died, and NICKI just like do it again. Oh the basement tapes chapter that's sort of big columnye mads out there. And it's funny when you laugh at yourself on a podcast, because do it really? You really laugh hard, and then you try to hide the laugh instead of just like let it naturally. You're just like it looks like you're doing sneak, like you're plotting, like you're just like thinking about how you're gonna hide you just suspicious. Yes, I'm just listen. I swear I had a wooden knife that I got from like disposable um. It's over there. I think it's wait, let me just get it. Did you bring a wooden knife on a plane, so like I had like disposable um, like you know, cutlery. There's so many times I find myself on the road where like I'll order uber eats and there's no you know, I have to use them. The stirring straws from the coffee filter thing to like use as chopsticks because they just never have they don't give it to you nerbery eats and then you just are like, oh what do I do? There's no restaurant, the hotel, I can't call down, So I've just saved stuff that's like good sometimes that I get. And I just had an individual wooden knife your jacket did your dad find out on the Missouri River? This looks so suspicious like it is. It looks like it looks like that someone's trying to sneak a murder weapon, but as a butter knife like your legs. It looks like something that someone would make to make it look like it's not as dangerous as it is. And this is was in I found this in my jean jacket while I was on the flight, and I was like, man, I'm glad because it's it wouldn't so it wouldn't come out on a metal detector like it is a perfect weapon. So if anyone terrorists out there listening, Yeah, if you want to make a gun, make it out of wood, Like I just love the idea of you, like you have a shank on you like, that's a straight up shank I've never even seen like it doesn't have with it. It would make sense to be like, oh, this is I just had the knife. There was no other There was the napkin or like the plastic that came with the set. It was just the knife. So suspicious. Um. Uh know what's your favorite thing about being a real quick I love when I'm like on a plane that's not too old but also not too new, so there's like a screen doesn't break apart in the sky. No, and um they have a map that I can track the flight and I can see it in the three different views like zoomed out medium. I hate you. I hate That's what Andrew hates. So we're going through each of the views where it goes like three D, like goes around the plane and it tells me how much Yeah, because I like knowing how much time is left, Like I like, these are people who want to be in the cockpit. They can't be. It's the closest they can get. I get it. I know that is exactly it's Noah, that's that person is it's the whole time You're gonna hate this answer. The answer is yes, I'd rather have a cat ship in my mouth. Now we know if we ever fly anywhere, I cannot sit next to Andrew because it's that that keeps going from like. I love they. I know exactly what you're talking about. They give these differed aspects of the plane and they go through the elevation, They trays around it. They show you where like where you are, like compares it to Africa. Yeah, you like that gives you like a little steering wheel, so you pretend that you're flying it. Look at me, okay, and we're gonna have to have fifteen mounctions in between us. I also like to do this. I like to turn the screen off, listen to a little bit of a podcast, then turn it back on and see how mar you've come. The plane has moved. Oh I don't mind that, Andrew. We need to get your sleep mask to be so you don't have to deal with these people. Sleep mass well would solve most of our issues, except Carlos Cash. He pulled the sleeps sound solution. He sleeps. All right, guys, that's our podcast for this Monday. We're back in acted. We'll be here all week. Um, thank you so much for listening. We will see you tomorrow on the show. Uh don't we cut and Jack to Nashville. Yeah, there you go tomorrow night in Nashville. Go see Andrew and come see me in Vegas September two. We'll see you out there by by