#255 Gibberish Training Bra w/ Anya Marina

Published Aug 9, 2022, 1:00 AM

Nikki is in her hotel room and joined but her BFFs Andrew and Anya Marina. She explains how her boyfriend "deflowered her" recently. Anya learns about Andrew's nipple issue which sparks a conversation about first bras. Nikki gives a lesson in gibberish and kudos if you got it. Anya has been watching docuseries one of which is The Deep End and the other is about revenge porn. Nikki peels apart the porn industry and also explains what she enjoys. You Heard It Here First: men don't like violent porn and a penis is the mode in pie ala mode. With the finale of FBoy Island on HBO Max airing they reveal more of what went on behind the scenes. 

 

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The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicki Laser Podcast. It's Monday. Uh, I am in l a still. You might have heard someone singing over on your Marina in the intro song, and it just so happens to be on your marina. She is our guest today, joining us from somewhere in New York City. Not sure if I can call it upstate? Anya. How's it going? So good to be here. I'm glad I got to redo my part live because during the Hampton's pod, I was very disappointed in my performance. Were you? I was disappointed in all of us. It's not that I was disappointed. I was mad, you know how, it's usually the opposite. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. No, no, no, I was just um. Andrew Colin is also here. Hi Andrew, He's in St. Louis. What's going on? Thank you so much for having me here. How did you get in my opmand this morning? How you thought I moved out? You idiot? It's funny to Mercedes. What do you fucking goofy? I thought I moved on? F Boy Island is very flagrant with the word uh. Idiot um, which leads me to believe that he was called a fucking idiot a lot in his childhood, which is unfortunate. But I do love him and I have loved for that guy. Um, even though yesterday I posted on I like I posted on my Instagram story. I don't know if you saw it on you, but you guys, you and Taylor were like watching f boy Island and like commenting on our WhatsApp chat, which is like nine girls on nothing, and you're all like break most of its voice recordings of you guys processing it. But it was just so funny to read, like, I, I wait, I love Danny. Danny's hair is slicked. I he made a good choice, Mercedes. I'm still on the front about I miss Benedict. I don't know how to feel about. And then Taylor's like, I love Jabrian. Jabrian said that Nikki's hot and cool, go Jabel Like it was just Taylor loved Jabrian from the jump, and like, honestly, most people are probably like who um, but I guess he also really makes a great showing in the last two episodes, which I have not seen. Don't spoil them for me, just kidding. I love them, but I have not seen them because I lived them and I don't. I'm Chris and I have not been together, and I have no one to watch them with, and so you guys, no, I do not watch things about myself, and I certainly can't watch myself by myself. I'm going to try to binge it today on the plane back from l A, but I can't promise anything. I've heard it's so good. I am so moved by everyone freaking the funk out about the finale and all my friends just being like, don't spoil it, like they're all like watching it at different times, being like, holy sh it, do you always watch it yet? Please watch it? Like I haven't felt this much excitement for my friends about a show since The Bachelor Bachelorette, and that usually was just me and Nanya. You know, no one expected like a gun on set for someone to get shot at the end. I'm sorry, did you forget that someone got shot? It was bad? It's bad. It was. It wasn't no one died, but it was. It was very bloody. It was a T shirt gun and because those guys, we just wanted them to put one on. Did you notice nipples. No, but that that was also a thing, um that I didn't put because I didn't want to shame Mercedes, because I didn't know if his nipples were good or bad. Are they like they're like my dad's. I know that's the weird thing to say, but my dad is very perky nipples. My dad is like Weirdly, they look like pencil erasers, like brand new pencil erasers. Nipples. They're just like a third nipple. They look so tiny. Oh, they're tiny, Andrew, did you notice his nipples that almost like Andrew's version of hairlines? Wait, you don't know, Andrew, andrews um. If I had Mercedes nipples, I would have been a like a lawyer, like a billion dollars lawyer. Confidence. Your nipples are holding you back? They are have you wait them? You try walking around with these fucking utters? What have you got them pierced with? What hanger? There? No one of those things that they you know when a cow has that ring through its Yeah, then I would join the Noah's favorite band. Just lu Yeah, just here, just yapping away about trans kids or something. Gariola are large, m you can't get a good but they're pops. You know how like our nipples are on that like part of a month where it's like, you know, when our nipples when we're like maybe not ovulating, where it's like the type the time of month where your nipple is just like you don't want it to be seen. That's oh God speaking of Look at this fucking flower arrangement that Chris sent me. It is the most beautiful arrangement I've ever seen in my life. And this is four days out. It's still it's so you guys know me, Do I like flowers? Fuck? No, they die, They're a burden. This is a nice one because I just get to leave it here and I don't have to like, you know, throw it away and put it. Yeah, like like I'm miss America carrying it through. Um No, I usually I'm just like, oh flowers. But I walked into my hotel room the other day. I was having a rough day, just really depressed, and I sent him like just a message being like I'm just feeling like total ask funck shit. And and then I went and did something. And then I came back and in my room, my room is clean because the maids to clean it, and sitting on this table was just this beautiful arrangement. And I was just like, please don't be from my agents, Please don't be from my agents. And it was it was not And he wrote a really funny card. I forget what he wrote. It was an inside joke that really made me laugh and um, and it was just I feel like I turned into a woman with these flowers because I finally love flowers and I understand. Yeah, he de flowered me by giving me flowers. Yeah, I feel like it was so fast. Can I give a shout out if you are ever in l A, go to seed l A s e e D seed l A for flowers. This arrangement, I mean you will convert someone who I like edible arrangements. I've tried to eat them. They're not going down, but um, they this this. And I've woken up every day and I'm like, oh my god, I love every day. It's I keep telling him, it's the it's move over folders. Best part of waking up is these fucking flowers. I love them. And I'm going to start. I think I'm gonna start getting flowers for myself and like putting them in my house and like trying to be that kind of woman, not because I'm trying to be, but because I just I think I might be. Now. I thought of you today when I was putting on jewelry for this podcast. I hope everyone appreciates it because I never wear layered necklaces, and I remembered your joke, Nick layered Hamilton's over here. You always think about how you want to be a woman who wears layered necklaces, and it's true. It is a thing, like it was. It's it's such a thing. I would stare at them on the train. And Noah has a layered necklace just like laying behind her on her draperies. That looks like for my key, it's an effortless layered necklace. Smaller buds, your little peonies. Okay, I have a near new arat, but budding nipples, but no, I don't even want you to call me your bud. That is disgusting too, because it feels bud is so gross when you're writing about nipples. When I remember Krisen and I um when girls started getting like budding nipples or whatever it is, you know, just puff puffing out for the first time, because you go from having like Mercedes two puffs about fifth sixth grade. That was back in the early two thousand or like in the nineties. Now girls are getting buds, like they're getting breasted, like with at three, you know, like they're starting their their periods at four. It's crazy because of milk or something. But um so Krison and I and I've said this on the podcast before, but it's it's so funny. We were so fucking funny. I just have to give a little pat on the back about how funny my friends were. We Kerson and I came up with in sixth grade. We didn't have boobs yet. I think we got our first training bras then, which is such a dumb name as well, training bra, Like it's weird to put wheels on your brat. I was waiting. I was like, what am I gonna say for training? And that was perfect. Do you remember where you got your training bra from? Yes? Famous Bar was bar? I know that sounds insane any Louis, Yeah, Joe's pubbed down the corner. No, if you're from St. Louis and grew up in the nineties, you know that Famous Bar is a department store that was, um, it was ridiculous. When we first moved. There were like famous bar what does it b A r R. That's where we went the junior section and um, Kristen's mom brought us sorry bourbon. Christen's mom brought us because my mom was kind of like, I don't need to do that, and she like, you know, she signed off on it, she gave she signed my permission slip. But I went and we got these just like I just all I wanted was those buds to be covered up. But the thing is training bras, unless they have a padding in it, the buds don't get covered. It's just like wearing another shirt and underneath it doesn't. If you're a mom out there that is buying, or a dad, single dad buying a training bra for your daughter, make sure it has a thicker layer. It's not gonna make your daughter a slut. It's not gonna make your have big gas boobs. Just make sure it has a thicker layer than a T shirt, you know, a training bra or like a because those buds need to be pushed down because the button and no one likes the person. And I used to call girls that didn't have training bras, which was were us um and like you know, we're just towing that line. The girls that had single fathers pretty much, or mothers who were like dead beat moms, the ones that didn't get bras yet. We used to say, and now you see this everywhere and it's kind of like a trend. We would call them in dire. We'd be like, she's so in dire because she was in dire need of a bra, and so we'd be like, she's so in dire, and it was just like a way to um. We had so many codes Zenda is is in dire a lot of times, but that's like such a good look for her. I learned that from my first boyfriend with no bra. He'd always go n B n B. You learned some when um, you were in the Hampton's with all of so many, But I think Anya was the one that was like you guys had I learned some Green Vass was um and this is bestiees have probably already heard this before, but it bears repeating. Green Vass was. We wanted to our friends started having sex. I mean, my friends started having sex, but I was not. But that we started like kind of doing things with boys, and we started wanting to be able to talk about these acts. And one time we were in my bedroom and it is me, halla, Kirsten and I think maybe Taylor, and we were like, what do we call blow jobs? Because we obviously can't talk about that in front of our parents, and we hadn't live the girned to the GiB or the girl where the giess shit, the gets to the go with the geek of the good to the gamest of the gable of the goods of gops. So instead we were like, you guys know what I mean, there's like four people out there there They're like, yes, gibberish, my lessons paid off, my my, my gibberish raining bro paid off. Um. It was, um, that should be I should create a half that I could teach you gibberish in two seconds. I want to teach the one episode. I'm going to commit to just five minutes of teaching besties gibberish. And once you commit to it, all you have to do is practice for like ten minutes and you'll get it. Okay, do you want to learn right now? Like literally? Okay? It was like I can't learn it. No, Well, here's what green bass. Let me just say with green basses because we were like, what should blowjob be? And I go, I don't know what. Because we called smoking pots. We called pots sweaters, so we'd be like, let's go. One of my first jokes was like, you know when you're growing up and you come up with code words so your parents don't know what you're talking about. Me and my friends we called pots sweaters, and so me and my friends we would go like, hey, mom, we're gonna go drive around the neighborhood and knit some sweaters. Like that was like she And then we come back with like, you know, bloodshot eyes, and she'd be like, where's your yarn and knitting needles? And I'd just be like the sweaters were so beautiful, Like it was just some joke about that, But like what we were so stupid? Like why was that we didn't knits what we did? No, that was not a thing we did. We should have picked a thing we did. So we also called it Debbie. We'd be like, do you have any Debbie? And then um, but green Vase came about because I was like, Okay, we gotta come up with a good one for for blow jobs because we're all going to be given them so much right to our teachers. No. Um, so we're looking around and I just I used to collect um glass, not vases, but like like bottles, you know, some that would be shaped like a fish or shaped like an Eiffel tower, like blown glass, just bottles that we would put just blowing. Um. You know what I'm saying, like blow Like it was my thing. I was trying to find any identity. And my thing was like collecting these fucking bottles, really collecting those yes, yes, colored glass. I had a whole thing in my room. I want to get into collecting again. Tangent. Okay, so here's so I just go. But you guys, can't be something stupid, like we have to come up with a good coword. It can't be something stupid like green vase. And then we were all like that's it. And then we called vigorous hand jobs vigorous because it's like, whoa, and it's vigorous. You ever put them all together? Like I was, I sweater and vigorously. Yeah, he and I needed some sweaters. And then things got vigorous and I fucking broke a green vase and it got all over my sweater. Wait wait, yes, yeah, my actual one. Wait come got on your weed. Oh no, that don't really ruin it. So here's how you do. So before we get to break, here is a quick lesson in gibberish. And I'm gonna do it once and don't worry. To Hollow right now is listening and she's going, you're all gonna know halla. If anyone gave a ship, they would all learn it because this is accessible. There there's a thing that people know, they don't people are not going to learn it. Don't worry. She's slamming right now, going like no nicki and it's like once a year and what she's doing another go here we go. So what gibberish is, it's so simple. You basically you take English and every word you break down by syllables and syllables are you know, nikki is nick key or it could be nick key or it could be nick key like either you know syllables are how many sounds are? If you don't, if you didn't go to school, That's what a syllable is pretty much is like how like um uh, Andrew has two syllables on as two syllables know as two syllables. Anyway, So let's take um, let's take um. Okay. So then what you do is once you break it down it by syllables nicky, right, and it doesn't matter if I say ni or nick and then key or nick key doesn't matter. Okay. So then you take what your prime word that you're going to be inserting. And I know this sounds complicated. I'm not a good teacher, but it's itaga I t h A G is the is the is the guy. Okay, Now you're gonna put that. You're gonna take every word you're gonna break into consonance, and you're gonna be able to do this without thinking within one hour of practicing this and not even practicing it, like for a full hour, just like kind of throwing it around. So you would take nick and I would put itaga. Um. You're never gonna start with the letter I with itaga unless it is a word that starts with a vowel. So you're always going to take the first consonant, the first sound, whether it's mine, would be no and okay. So and then you're gonna complete the end of that sound, which is ick. So Niki is ick, and you're gonna put in betwe in it. So it's gonna be nither gick, so I put it thega son if then the gick and then key. So I'm gonna take key now or I can take E because I've already got the ki at the at the end of into the gick. Okay, but key, if I'm taking key, I'm gonna take the K sound and go kill the kill the and then and then end it with the E. So key, so Noah would be okay, no uh so ni the go and then uh is the last part of her name. Now there's no U consonant, there's no harsh like consonant. It's just uh, which is a vowel. So you're just gonna go in the gun the go in the g Anya would also start with an A, so it's not gonna say have a sound, it's gonna go is the gone. So you're gonna start with on and then yeah. Yeah it's the second one, and you're gonna go yi the with the start with why yeh the and then g because it's on. Yeah. So let's try Andrew try us like the word you know, I'm well, yeah, I guess so yeah, so you you be the y. It's not really about if it's an a noun like the letter itself. It's about the sound it makes. So if it makes it sound like it or uh other or anya, then you just go with the guther or the the girl. Now if it's um, something like the word you, y oh you, you're gonna go yeah the goo because there is that that yeah sound. So let's try Andrew, Andrew, try your own name. And this is totally a safe space. I'm not gonna make fun of you. If you can't get it, I'm not a good teacher. It's hard in the god no, So let's take your name. Take your name first, in no, separate your two letters to okay and okay, So do that one first. So it ends with then so and is great because and is a word that we're gonna use all the time, right, So let's do and so because it's an and it says with an a, so it's eva and yeah, that's said. Now you said at the gond that would be Andrew. Okay, Well that's how I the gan. Okay, then what's the second one is? So it's like what the goog? Yeah, because you're ending it with you Drew. Okay, Okay, we're gonna go to break, So let's do the word break, Anya, do you want to try the word break bre the gig the gate? Okay? Um? One more Andrew Um podcast, Can Do Freak podcast podcast pop Pot. No, it's always going to be in the gut. So the only you're never gonna a word is never gonna start with anything other than pie. It's always gonna be pi. Okay. So the god the god because the gassed. Yes, so now I know it. So the go with the g of the guard, the go in the gang to the goop of the gig where the guy at the goal, and again with the gil be the g of the gag with the gith the gorse to the go and the after the girl of the kiss in the game to the goal. Yeah, coming, alright, we're back. Um. So sorry if that was a waste of everyone's time. But I swear to God, if I can learn it, you can. I am not someone who is good with language or learning languages. It's not my forte. It's my will forte. And I'm not even good at remembering which when he is, I confuse him with will hate Bill Hayter. Will aren't it? I don't know. Welcome back to the show. I'm in Los Angeles, Anya is in New York. Anya. Um, you said that you wasted a lot of your time last night with a TV show and that you have been I don't understand people who watch things they don't like. Please walk me through this. Okay, well you're freezing mhm strong silent type. Okay, how's this? I'm having some connectivity issues. Let me move over here. I was saying that I felt really sick, so I didn't have any energy. Two think of a watch? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Press. So what show did you decide to watch? And you've been on a binge of like these shows about mennipulative people, right, and like these I've been going down a cult documentary. I watched the Teal Swan doc with you guys in the Hampton's. I watched that one's called the deep Water or something crazy one on HBO. It's all HBO Max. I think I know that one is who the Way Down about an antorextic woman who tells you that if you worship food instead of God, you're going to hell. Well she's right. In my life went to hell as soon as I did that. You're supposed to worship food? No She's like, you need to transfer your obsession with food to being obsessed with God. Well, that's what antorectics do, is are obsessed with food. They people think that we're not obsessed with food, but the truth is we are, so isn't Did you, as an person who maybe has had struggles with food stuff, find flaw in that logic of like her saying, as an antorextic, don't be obsessed with food. I mean, yeah, it's like easier seven done, lady, And why are you seventy five pounds? Like She's like, I just love the Lord and it's a fascinating du Yeah, Jesus bloody. I swear to God. I remember when I was interactic, even like going to church, like with a friend and having to maybe eat that wafer was like, no, like, I swear to God. It's so fun. I swear to God. I went to church. I swear to fucking God. Never. So what would you do when they go to feed you to wafer? Would you just go? I would just pretend like it was a moral issue for me, or like that I was an atheist or something like. I would do anything. I remember going to even farther and put the priest's finger in your mouth and he's like, Okay, I wouldn't have even done that. I was holding my breath and paneras because I didn't want to breathe in the smell of bread because I thought it would have calories in it. That's how insane you are, my god, I would I remember going on a senior trip to Chicago. We went to go see the Blue Man Group and they do this thing where they like bring someone on stage and they like have the person eat like marshmallows. And I was like, if they chose choose me, I don't know what I'm I don't know what I'm gonna do. Like it was the most as an anxiety I've ever had in my entire life. And I've done you know, I've been on TV and been on live TV. It's I've never felt that anxiety before, Like what could happen? Like and I threw out a first pitch and I don't know how to do sports like that gave me more anxiety. Did do you relate to that? On you being scared of like having to be forced to eat in situations where you're like I can't. Yeah, I mean it's been a long time, and I didn't have antarexy like you were like a hardcore committed uh type. My my thing was literally committed to hospital. But I was definitely afraid of food and I would have a major anxiety. I mean. The thing with this cut all these cults is they always start off pretty reasonable, like these are good ideas, you know, and then it takes a turn like what she's saying, isn't that scandalous? Like you know a lot of compulsive eaters are obsessed with food and have lost their way spiritually maybe if you you know, even to themselves. So it got bad when the abuse starts. That's in part two or part three. Yeah, it always they just they always as soon as someone else tells them like I don't want I question this thing, and they In the Teel Swan documentary, it's just a great moment where one guy is just like the guy goes, well, who's who are you? Who are you answering to? Like who's checking you? And she's like why do I need to have someone checking me? And he's just like, well, because you say that, we have to have people like and she's like, well, it really makes me concerned that you don't you think that maybe I need someone checking me and that maybe you are not as invested in this as I like. And she's funning. What about when she said the fastest person in the world, she compares herself to the fastest person in the world. She she actually makes good logic that I'm like, that's why she is a cult leader because even I was like, oh, that's a good point. She's like, well, if I were the fastest person in the world and I told you I was, and I was, and you said, well, how can you be the fastest person in the world if there's no one faster than you? What would So? So I can't be the fastest person in the the world because there's no one faster than me. What what's right? And I go, God, she's fucking good, like taking notes. I loved. I mean it was uncomfortable because she's getting confronted and you know, this girl is like is crazy and that she's not right, and so there is discomfort in knowing, like like in like how her being questioned. I don't know, it just came off so like egotistical and like how how could you even think the question? It's like I don't know, Like I don't I think I saw too much of her life. She'd been married up your hair in a bathtub? Yeah, your eyebrows? Can we start there, start somewhere. I'd love to start there, but I don't know where they start. So does she have like a god all your hair? She's like a god? Is that? Yes? And I think I mean she was and it was terribly abused, so like her way of or was she because part of her thing is convincing people that they were abused and then isolating them from their families by being like, your dad molested you and the dad's like I didn't, and it's like, well, of course he's saying that, and then she like makes you eat frog stuff that makes you trip, and then she's like, your dad sucking molested you. So even like it made me question her own story of like what happened to her? But yeah, what was the show last night that you watched on you and that you were like on you said, I skipped the second episode and I didn't even realize I did because it was such a bad show. The most hated man on the Internet about the guy that started that website, the porn porn site. I didn't even finish it. It It just made me feel so bad. They were showing clips of all the horrific things that he would they would upload, and it's just depraved stuff. And I'm like, may will you tell me details? Like people thing, peautiful pooping. Wait, what do you mean you the revenge I don't even know the premise. I know what revenge porn is, but I don't know that there was a site for it. Specifically, there was a website called Yeah you actually watched the Doctor just remember it from history. This guy starts to set anybody up or is anyone up or whatever? That soft It's like all these nude photos of people, and it links to the people's social media, so it would show, like, you know, fifteen pictures of naked Nicky Glazer, and then it'd be like and here's her Instagram, and here's her address, and here's her um Facebook. Yeah. Well, a lot of guys would take photos of their girls. Then when they get cheated on, or they they cheat on the girls and the girl get breaks up with them, then they upload it to go you fucking bitch, you fucking horror. No one's gonna want you now, I'm going to ruin you. And and it still happens. They do it all the time. It's like there's not just one site for it. So this guy started a site that was just for that, right, and it really took off and he got famous off being a sociopath and like tweeting constantly, like basically daring people to kill themselves or you know, like just you know, one percent of people are sociopaths of the human population. It seems kind of low. Mm hmm. It seems high to me. Oh yeah, one in a hundred people. I mean that's like one on every flight you're on, there's one person that's a psychopath, and so ziopath and psychopath I think are interchangeable. Um, by most professional standards. This guy making money off of it, was it like, yeah, you have to pay to get on there. Yeah, I mean, who's like, oh man, I gotta sell my shoes on re venge porn dot com. You know. It's it's like a lot of people came to see me in Atlantic City because of that banner I bought. Um um this. There's another guy being tried right now for a website called like girls Do Porn or a production company, and I mean it's the same old story they put an ad on Craigslist looking for models. Eight teening up girls answer, they add, they fly the girl to l A from her little po Dung Town, put her up at some fuckings. They pick her up at the airport. They don't even bring her to the They bring her to a hotel for the modeling shoot. On the way to the hotel, they tell the girl what it sounds exactly like nicky. No, it's too late, that flowers. And the revenge is that people are going to have to watch it. It's not pretty. Um so uh, they get. So what they would do is they get the girl and and this has really made me just go, I can't with porn like I gotta I gotta put up. I gotta vegan it pretty soon here, guys, because it's so much porn has made this way. They get the this was a guy that would do these tactics over and over ight. Now he's being suoned. There's this huge lawsuit. Um that's happening right now. So fly the girls out. On the way from the airport, they pick him up in the car like at the baggage game. Um. And and within a day, I mean, these girls would answer and add and the next day, they're flown out. They on the way to the hotel, they'd be told it wasn't really a modeling shoot, it was actually porn. At this point, this guy is kind of intimidating. He you're in a car with him, you've already flown out. He's put you, he's paid for your ticket, he's like picked you up at the airport. You kind of feel indebted. You're eighteen, you're young. You don't like your first time in l A. Then they go, but don't worry, it's oh and they make you send nude shots. So they already kind of know these girls are maybe down to be a little sexual, right, Like they know it's a sexual modeling shoot. So these girls have set nudes um just and like sent their fucking butt holes, I bet. And then they get the job and it's good money, you know for a girl that's working at fucking I don't know, Custard stand over the summer. It's like it's insane. They and it's maybe it's like a thousand dollars, but still that's like insane money for these girls. And then they go they get to the hotel, there's so much paperwork they have to sign. They tell the girls that the video is only going to be distributed in Australia privately on videotapes for people who pay for them and will not be end up online. And it's only for select buyers. Um that will not be distributed online. It will never end up online, which by the way, isn't a thing. Young women listening. Nothing you do can be sure, like there's nothing that won't end up online, or can't. There's no way to make sure something doesn't end up online. But these girls don't know that. You know, the education is not great in Michigan or whatever. So they go no tons of offense, get it togetheranant flant Michigan. The water is still bad. Bring back our girls. I don't think it's the same cause, okay, so um. So they then they make them sign all this way, and this is like the story over and over all. These girls have the same story. They get to the place, they make these girls sign so much paperwork and they have a flight out that night. So they just want one shoot with these girls because they're disposable. I mean, they're not going to use them again after what they do to them. The girls a flight that night, so they're like, hey, we gotta do the shoot. Figure like sign this paper. So they rushed them through the paperwork and act like them reading it, which these girls barely can fucking probably understand any of this legal ease that they're going through. So they sign all this stuff, which is pretty much signing way all their rights, and they get into the shoot and they're told it's going to take thirty minutes for this porn shoot that is only going to be you know, um, this kind of sex act that they agree to. They get in there five hours of shooting with minimal breaks, and every time they break, they're like, your flight is coming and we need to get this. Like you're you're making everyone wait, making these girls feel like a burden. I'm a thirty eight eight or so year old woman who still feels like a burden all the time to everyone. I mean, I could see myself getting roped into something like this, let alone, if I was fucking eighteen years old, and so then literally so then these girls are brutally penetrated in every way with by multiple men. There's it's not at all what they agreed to, but because they do, you know, sign the paperwork, and they are consenting in the sense that they say, sure, that's fine, but they keep pressing. You know, these guys are master manipulators. So this by the time that plane hits the ground back in Detroit or wherever they fucking fly back to, it's already online. I mean it takes about that's an exaggeration, but it takes about three weeks. And these girls get text from their friends saying there's videos of you. That same day, all their parents find out, their aunts and uncles, yeah right down, and it's all backwards to and so. And these girls lives are ruined, I mean their parents. These girls come from these good like Christian like, like small town like places, and they have a thousand dollars in their pocket, which which is after the fact, probably like six hundred. It's already long gone. And their families are They get a strange from their families. No one wants to talk to them. Every guy thinks they're fucking slut, a stupid skank. You know. These towns where they're from, their their reputations are ruined. Their run out of town, and they have nowhere to go. They have no they have nowhere to go after that, and now they have this thing on their record and they're it's and so this guy is being tried right now. He's such a piece of shi it really. I mean, if you're someone out there who watches porn like I do, we gotta do better anymore. I feel like there should be a law where like like, well they signed the paperwork, but it's like unless the PaperWorks like four sentences and like Times New Roman Career, Yeah, double space where it's like you if it's like a bunch of Mumbo Jump both Magatha stuff, you know it should be Yeah, that's it's bad. It's so bad. But you know what I mean though, like if it feels like it could be hidden, that should be. Can I say the worst thing of it all? Okay that you saw one of these before the documentary. I've definitely seen one of these. Like there's no doubt this guy is prolific, and like this isn't like one website you go to. This is he has his videos on everyone porn website there is. We're talking red two, we're talking X two, We're talking um x Hamster, We're talking porn Hub, We're talking I mean everything, And the problem is there's something at this point in my porn viewing I enjoy and I talked about it in my first special, and in my enjoyment of this has only gotten worse. Reluctant porn where the girl is like I don't know, like, um, I can't, I shouldn't. And then it's like my joke was like I love when she's like no, okay, Like I I like it, and I like now. I like porn where the man is like really old and the girl there's no way the girls attracted to him, but she's just doing it because she wants to my relationship. I know. I'm sorry, I've been watching your sexist and I could you guys move to the apartment across her mind, across the way. No. I like. I like videos where the girl is like and I'm not alone here. I remember, you know, friends of mine admitting to liking the same thing of like it's you know, it's a sub genre. It's age gap where the girl is like, she's just doing it and she's kind of enjoying herself. Sometimes she comes but like, I just like that the guy is like so appreciative and like, I'm so old and this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm about to die and he's like got cobwebs on his dick, and like, I just I like it. I like, I don't. And what I'm looking for now is like I can't help that. I like that. I'm not a bad person because I like that. I do not want anyone to be victimized. I do not mind, though, that being dramatized in porn, and that is what I have to seek out um, and I do still enjoy it. If you knew everyone belonged to a union and was being paid well and was yeah, that's why I pay for porn. I pay like a hundred dollars a month for all my subscriptions. But the thing is, I still don't even trust the subscriptions because they're still getting they're still outsourcing their production dog fart Like, can I trust dog fart productions? I don't know. They make great stuff, but I don't know if I could dress them. Yeah, I think, like I think if it was like a movie and it was like, well, these actors are amazing, but if it's really like this is really believable, they're probably they're not the best actor, so it's probably close to the truth. You know what I mean, that's the tough part. But they're so method by hating fucking this old weird man. Well, I don't want the girl to be like sad and like I hate this, like I want the girl because that's the kind of sex I like where I'm kind of like pushed to my limits, you know, where it's like almost like a Berry's boot camp, where you're like, if I really had a choice, I would like to not be doing this fucking burpee right now. But I know that if I get through it, I'll feel accomplished, like a nickname for an old guy. It's not like you have to take a viagra and can't and then have to not have sex. Other day, Andrew admitted that he took a viagra to prepare for sex and Bretta saw the rapper in the trash, but then he couldn't have sex because he had heartburn, and so he had her if I couldn't have sex, because he announced, It's true they make viagra pill that could do heartburn, and a cock would be fucking brilliant zandac and I did. I ended up doing it, but by the time the Zantac kicked in, your boy, it was past my bedtime. It was okay, um, yeah, let's do the news first. Oh it's Monday, folks, you know what that means. It is Monday. I hope you're having all the swells out there. We sure are here and all the different cities we're in. It's kind of crazy. Four people hanging out different cities. One computer wild. I mean there's lots of computers. It's computer huh support different computer computers in front of him. Yes, thank you for see it in my way empathizing. Alright, no regrets. I had a few. Al Right, I'll do quick plugs. Sanya is our guest here today. We have um a lot of unreleased songs and exclusive live live streams on her Patreon, Patreon dot com slash Anya Marina. We have Good Clean Filth on HBO Max, the last two episodes of f Boy Island, Uh, featuring the one and only Nicki Klaser and Andrew behind the scenes on f Y Island and in the green room on Good Clean Filth, which you could see him in the beginning yea Glaser dot com slash tour. And Andrew Colin is going to be on tour Andrew Coollin Comedy dot com Ye comments on Tuesday, I don't want six people there and there's gonna be so many people. What are you scaring? So there's six people there, like, it doesn't mean anything. That The best that part about that is no one will know that there were six people there. Only six people will not pay a whole crew. Jake Owen will know that there's six That's the best part about When I used to go to do clubs and no one would show up because no one knew who I was or even I did have teth I have TV credits at the time, and no one would show up. And they sometimes they still don't. There have been shows that have been like not full. Um, it doesn't matter because no one knows because no one's there. So it actually doesn't have to make a you have to make a tape for Instagram, Nikki, but they but then plug in the laughs. No one will know because you can't laugh on Instagram or not, like you don't see the audience anyway. Yeah, no, I know, I'm not that where I'm kind of but it's it's fine, I'm fine, I'm good everything. It's going to work on Xantech. But yes, next hard hard Heart Okay, alright, what's a good seg um. Recent research has challenged the accepted opinion that men like violent porn and women like romantic porn. Surveys revealed that most men are turned off by violent porn, and furthermore, at least some women report finding depictions of aggression against women to be a turn on. This suggests that interest in violent porn may not be so much a difference of gender as one of personality. Oh I thought it did say gender, and then no, it's still breaking the like yeah, like because it doesn't seem to be just mostly men like this and women like this. There are more women than they think, and it's probably the reason that people are even interested in the first places, personality, not gender. Um, yeah, that's interesting. I violence in porn, it's like, it's it's it's tough to be turned on by that kind of thing. I do not like violence, I would say in porn. I don't like slapping. I don't like people looking like they're sad or scared. But I do like uh, I do like um, you know, punishment, and I like suffering. But I like suffering in the same way that I like suffering in my life. In like at the end of it, there's an accomplishment, like the way if you run a marathon, like that's suffering and you know you're not. If you watch someone you know running a decathlon or something and you enjoy that, people aren't like you're such a you're fucked up. You like watching people suffer. It's like, No, I like the I like the end where the persons like I just fucking got ten loads of calm on my face, Like that is a triumph, Like that is a new Olympic sport. I think, Yeah, I mean, I really do feel like these girls are insanely talented and like I just I'm I'm in awe of the stamina it takes to do what they do. The men I'm not as impressed with at all because they use viagara, But women, um, I really am, Like I'm blown away and a lot of their assholes are blown out. A lot of my guy friends we like this. Uh if you type it in, it's actually and you porn and porn up too. But they had their own website back in the day. It was called x art dot com. X art is the kind of porn and it was like very girlfriend, boyfriend, beautiful beautiful people like making love, you know, and we were all like, yo, did you see fucking Nicolette make love like so soft? But you see, I hate that kind of porn. Me my boys got down the tenderness. I like um rough. But you know what I like is not hard, like not fast. I like like slow hard if I don't like tears. I don't like when a girl's makeup is getting ruined. I don't like I like that because she's being because when you choke, you cry. Yeah. I don't like when your eyeliner runs. I like that, it's so ugly. What do you like an into? I just like lazy, like NASA stuff, like just like a girl getting a massage and then it's like, whoop sees, it's a surprise massage. That's all I'm interested in. I don't like in the those I like the massages too. I don't like when the guy ends up sucking her though, I just want him to finger her the whole time. I don't want his penis to be involved. I'm always like, that's gone too far and he should be reported. But if he just like this, sir, that's I'm um. I don't know. I just don't believe that women really get that much joy out of just a dick without a vibrator as well, at least I don't. I mean, and that is with every dick I've ever had in my life. I want, I need clip to, I need and penis and I just when we're gonna guys are gonna grow, like a little above your decks would be amazing, like in ten million years where all I have, Like I'm different, Like many women can just do this, like you know, can rub their own clip while they're having a enis inside them and have a good time. Or it can even just like rub on the top of the guys or the guy can rub it like with his hands. But I just I've never been, as Ashley Hesseltine calls it, a girl who can play acoustic. I need I need to plug into an amp so I can't. I can't plug a banjo at a bluegrass festival. I need sucking. I need to go to plug it. Yes I do, Um, yeah, I just do. But that's nothing to say of like there's no dick. I'm not talking about like, oh I need something else because the dick isn't good enough. It's like I it would no matter what. But that that is why I'm when most penetrative sex I watch on on uh in porn. If there isn't a hatachi one involved, there must be another dick there too. There's gotta be more than just if it's just one dick in a woman. I am bored. It's like watching I don't care. It's so it's softcore. That is the most boring sex to me in the world. And I do love a penis inside me just to be connected to my partner and to make love. But am I going to come from that? Probably not? And and and there is no no way that any I think I'm broken in a way maybe or something, but I cannot. Like I forgot my vibrator, l are you? Were you ever? Never? There was never a time before the toy Like once you introduced a toy, did it changed things? I didn't really try. Um, I was just never coming from sex ever when I didn't use a toy ever ever. Ever, I enjoyed it. It felt good, but I didn't know how good it could feel because I didn't have orgasms before toys were incorporated into my life. Was just too Does the penis ever get in the way of a toy, like would you rather? It's only it only makes it better. That's the thing I always like to say. A toy is good on its own, but a dick inside you with that toy, it's only going to make the toy better. A penis will never take away from the toy. I always it's like having pie all a mode, like your dick is a mode, you know, like I want. I don't want dry pie. It's fine, I'll take it if that's all I can get, but I want it makes it better. A toy alone is fine, A dick alone is also fine, But together is when they really it's like Simon and fucking Garfunkle. Yeah, yeah, that sounds like I mean, that's not a good actual A dick at Landmark, Yeah, I don't, sounding like a JFK speech films. It's like a dick alone is not strong, A vibrator alone is not strong. But when they're together, they are tango and cash. But I do love a penis alone when it is like I just want to have a connected experience with my partner and it's not about because sex for me is not always about achieving an orgasm, and I wish more men understood that women don't always need to come, and it's okay if we don't, and that's not always what's for me. A lot of time sex is just about like feeling someone inside you and that feels amazing and like really and bringing them pleasure with your body. Like I like that. I don't always need it, but if I want to come, I gotta have a hatachi. I just have to. I mean, I forgotten when when we'll be having sex and she's like, you know, you're just enough, and then we'll use the toy too, and then when the disappointment when the toy battery dies is so strong. That's why I have like six of them. Like if your hand stopped working when you were jerking off, yeah, no, no, no, I get it. Oh, I get all that. I'm pro toy. I'm like, like it just loosened that would it would it would suck? Yeah? Or if like you know it's you know, I get what you're saying. But very pro toy though, because I feel like it allows the women to have an orgasm quicker and I'm going to have an orgasm were will end up having an orgasm around closer to the same time without a toy. It's a very different ballgame. But I love penises and I don't want to make anyone man feel like, oh I'm you know it's I guess it doesn't even matter. They can just use toys and replace us. I will say though, that because I forgot to bring a vibrator here in town, I have not been able to master It hasn't even occurred. I would have done it so many times since I've been here, Um, but I haven't been able to It's not even there's nothing for me and this there's no electric toothbrush, there's nothing for me. There's no like, there's nothing for me to rub on. I I wouldn't be able to do it. It's it's it's almost it's pretty sad actually that I'm carrying guns. Huh. I don't got time for that. That would take so long, really, and I don't even know what I would do. Watch your favorite and then you know what I would try, because I would try to do the thing where take your clip. You take your clip and you almost try to jerk yourself off with your clip, like you go like this, like you pull on it, like you're almost like giving your clip a hand and My glid is like the size of a fucking a mini eminem. But I could get it, you know, like that That's maybe what I'll try. Yeah, that's about the average size, right, how smaller the bell hops hands? Maybe? Don't you think a vibrator? There's just a few steps away from terminating with got to get to go to the will the gill be the the guy with the gag with the get was the guy do the ride get together? All Right, we're back. Let's talk about f Boy Island and our segment called f I. All right, Um, the finale was last week. I have not seen it yet. Let's talk about it. Let's answer your questions, um, go alright, well, can I ask the first question from that came in? Yes, okay, a while back on the podcast, you talked about someone on the cast of Perfect Strangers to killing a bee who was God, I'm so mad that this footage did not make the show. Okay, So during de stank Um, there was an incident where I had so I had this like fake microphone that was like a priceis Wright microphone. And at one point during the show, Mia was very scared of insects and there was a bee around her a big bumblebee and I and she was like freaking out, and I was just trying to shoot it away because I was just going like shoot, be shoot, you know, like trying of like waving my wand at it. Me as someone who cares deeply about the fact that bees are disappearing in the world, descending. Um, I would never harm me intentionally, but old Barry Bonds was swinging right that day, and I hit the bee with my little wand it's a very skinny wand the bee flew to the ground and I shrieked in horror because I hit the be but it was still alive. But it flew the ground. It was just like disoriented. And then before I could do anything, I forget who it was, one of the boys just stomps on it and kills it. And I shrieked, almost probably falling to my knees, bloodying them, and we had to stop the production. I was very upset, and I was just like, you never kill a bee, You never kill a b And I went over to the bee and I picked it up, and I brought it over to the rocks by the edge of the ocean where you saw Tom throw that ring, and I buried the bee in the rocks and I said a prayer for it and I said I'm sorry, be and everyone thought I was very weird, and we went back to filming. But it was like it was a moment that I was really I forgot about it until just now, And um, I'm gonna try to get the footage from Bill Dixon, my friend who's the EP on the show, because it was, you know, it was the most athletic, athletic thing that I've ever done in my life, and I looked amazing, but it was just so funny and it was so sad too, and and I do want to get the message out about like, don't do what I you know, I assisted in doing. It was funny when Tom threw Tom threw the ring into the water. Yeah, I got a lot of messages about this, and right when he throws it, Brendan goes, Nicki's not gonna like that, and then literally like two seconds later, you go, I don't, like, I forget exactly what contributing to the ocean that I was like up for knowing me so, well, yeah, a fucking dolphin's got that ring stuck in its blowhole. Now, First of all, he doesn't have to inherit him from his mom. He could ask, he doesn't have to pay for it. He could get down on one flipper. I forgot the story of that. Rings like a ring he bought. He and his ex girlfriend both had rings. One was a king, one was a queen like the crown. I don't know clearly, it wasn't that meaningful to him. So you guys, remind me what happened on the finale. Yeah, wait, there's that for the finale, and it was man sin Well, it's it's it's not even that, it's something that Okay. Um, my friend Jen and I were texting about, which is a huge thing. Jen. So the girls had their dates and they invited the guys over and they woke up with no makeup, and Jen and I were texting that it takes us like ten months, maybe even longer than that, where we don't wake up early before the guy to do our makeup, that we wake up totally pristine. Um no, no, okay, that's very interesting. First of all, these girls are a stunning as are you and Jen. I know Jen, Um, I am now in this new camp of like I want to wear less makeup around men that I like, care for or care about, Like when you started dating Chris though, and well, I was much younger and I was much more insecure. But how did I have been a single woman recently? Um? I I used to, you know, worry about it and and and put on and do the bridesmaid thing of wake up and put up. Someone recently told me that they would wait it was oh wait, it was you know. Uh. I don't want to say what you told me that you would do, but it was really funny up before he woke up. Really Okay, Noah, can I say the thing that you and Hollow we're talking about? You can go ahead and say it. If I don't like it, I'll just take Noah. Noah used to wake up in the morning, what is it under a hook up and shave her chin oh, and go back to bed because overnight there would be stubble from as money. Women like Hollow has a literal man's like stop like like a beard. You would be jealous, like a lot of men would be jealous of, um, which a lot of women do. I I have hairs to I shaved my face like on my cheeks and stuff. Um. But Noah would overnight the stubble would grow that morning from hormones. So many women have this. It sucks. You have to shave it. I didn't know that. Yeah, for laser you have to shave it. You can't plug or tweet because then you have to wait like a whole cycle, which is like months. Yes, so that's what we have to go through. Sometimes a guy is like, you know, kissing my boobs and I see I spot a long hair and I feel it like flosses his teeth. I'm just like, oh my god, how did I fucking forget that one? It gets like caught and he rips it out and I'm like, oh, it's like a pube on your tit. Um. Yeah, but they're so long and skinny it's hard to get them. I just like six months in you wake up the Larry to Cable guy like, Andrew, do you remember do you remember seeing for the first time without makeup? Um? I mean, I know this sounds like cheesy, but like her not makeup makeup face is like pretty close, so I don't really you know, Um, she was born like naturally guard. The other day, I was on the set somewhere and had no makeup on day and then I got my makeup done and I walked out of my trailer and the amount of like, oh my god, wow, you look amazing was so insane, Like it's it's crazy how much it changes. But that being said, and I've really been I've really felt sad about that before because I'm just like, God, like, this is how you get people to like you. It's like you put on a fucking mask, you know. And but now I know that, like I I when I used to have acne, that's a different story, like when I had bloody, like pussing acne, Like I would need to cover that up. And that is something that I would still struggle with to this day if I was waking up with a new guy and like wanting to cover it up. But I do feel now at this age, like I any guy, if a guy doesn't like my face after the first night we're together in the morning because I look like tired and like my worst self and like no makeup, we're not it's it's it's gonna be. That's gonna be the end of us. Like I'm I can't, I can't keep that lie going and we shouldn't be together and I'm not gonna like try to keep that lie going. There's certain things that I think in an early on the relationship. Don't start farting in front of them, don't like, you know, tell them every fucking thing that's ever happened to you about you know, you keep some stuff and save it for later, but your face without makeup, I would break that out earlier than you. Try to maybe incorporate that earlier. And you know, I don't know, though, how do you feel about? Yeah? Absolutely, because I don't know. I don't wear too much makeup, but I get what you mean about getting a lot of attention. Every time I put makeup on and I come downstairs. That will always be like, wow, beautiful lady, like make a moment if maup. But how nice is that that we have that ability and men just have to look like they're shitty selves all the time. Well no, I mean, like even that doesn't really Like if you guys did wear eyeliner or like Elvis did, or you know, um, Harry styles like when he gets a little bit of stuff on, Like if men were to lean into that a little bit more and wear makeup that you guys would see too how much hotter you could be, and it sucks that you don't get You don't get to I was talking to someone about this recently, You don't get to, Like, it sucks that you guys don't get to experiment with fashion as much as we do, Like we really get to express ourselves and take risks and have more fun creatively with our fashion than you do. You're really limited and if you do take a chance, you risk all your buddies making fun of you. And it's like, it's really hard to start moving into something like even wearing brighter colors, let alone wearing you know, tight pants or dress or skirt. Had a lot of style did and they look great eight Yeah, I know. I kept thinking, God, it's so difficult to be a guy because you really have to just be hot. Or is it just that our standards are different from men hair they can do something with facial chi but I'm not kidding, but like their bodies or whatever. Like, I really think our show has caused a lot of men to have body dysmorphia and think that women want that. I'm not joking you. I've written a couple of men on d m S that have been like the show has made me feel bad about my body l O L. And I'm like, I not if you're trying to win over someone like me, me no want that. I have no interest in having a guy with a body like that. Chris is starting to get really really in shape and because he has these goals of like this trip he's going on and he just wants to see like what his body can be. It's not gonna be forever. And I told him, like, I like you, like he um over the you know. We went to Montreal last week and he was like, I've been feeling really good at about myself. He's like cut and he's looking great and it feels great, like like it feels like, oh my god, Like I'm with like a who's this guy that just showed up? Like every day I can see like gains And he was like, I was feeling good about myself. And then Mateo. I saw Mateo laying with his shirt off backstage and I was like, Okay, well I ain't ship compared to that, and I'm like, I would not want please don't look like Mateo. Mateo is Adonis. He is so hot. But again, that guy, to me, does not have enough time for me. In his life, all he does his work out, he doesn't have fun with food, he doesn't indulge, he's punitive, he's he's a little bit of a narcissist. And this is Mateo is a different Mateo's a thriving gay man and that and that's a different culture. I think in terms of like how they keep their bodies. As a woman, I do not want f boy bodies. I don't want it and I've never wanted it. I I just to me, that's a guy that doesn't that is so obsessed with himself be it. Tecks body was ridiculous. All these guys, Um, there was one guy I can't remember who Danny, who wasn't like super cut, and I remember Taylor. Taylor and I watched together. But he has a great body, but he doesn't have that. Yeah, I like I like Casey's of anyone body, I like Danny's. I like Casey's, I like Braden's, I like um Sante's. I like Jabrian Peter he's kind of thin like I just I like Brandt. I like these the guys that were just I just like a guy that looks like he can hug himself and feel it, comforted by it and not be just touching stone. It's like I want these guys to be able to get cuddly. They're all too hard. Yeah, I mean they were all cute though they were also interesting when you are worried about how like when I'm with Brenna and like she'll have like pimples or whatever, and granted, I know she's a pretty girl to start with whatever, but like when there are flaw it's like I never think, like I never like look at it as a flaw because I I love her and if anything, it's like, but we're talking about guys before they love you, ye, like before they love you, so like the third day kind of thing. Yeah, I get that, but I know, but that's really like sweet to hear and and nice and comforting to hear that once a guy loves you like it doesn't none of that ship would matter. And of course they want you to be healthy and feel your best, but like they're not going to believe you because you have a fucking oozing zip on you when they love you, they really think you are more beautiful without makeup. Probably, I know, it's weird. I don't know. I don't know how to explain it other than because other guys don't want to fuck you. I really do think that's why men are always like just where you don't need to wear that tiny little thing and your laid out. I remember how your boyfriends say that to me. Yeah, and it's like, you want me to have a cloak of invisibility, don't you? Noah, grow your chin strap. Come on, Noah, what were you just about to say? A final thought? I was going to say. I went to Warby Parker and I took a v with me to help me find glasses and I put this one, like these frames on and I kind of liked them and I was like and he's like, yeah, those look great on you. And I go, okay, but does the brown bring out the malasma on my face? And he's like, your what like the brown spots on my face? Does the brown in the frame amplify them? He's like, okay, I never even knew that you had that until right now when you literally pointed at it. And he's like, I don't want to answer that, And it's like your biggest, not biggest concern, but it's like one of your insecurities all time in the say malasma and la li the gas words we haven't gotten to. I remember one time having a terrible hormonal bout of acne that was honestly making me look like the elephant man. It was so scary. I didn't know what was going on, like and I and they were all like blistering and it was so bad, and I wouldn't let Chris see me, and I was hiding in the dark. And this was like two thousand fifteen or something. We were out in l A. What do you mean. I just love him, like coming into a room and not even knowing you're like, I know it totally was that he was just like Nikki and I was like, you have a candle because I had been at the Equinox before, and I remember staring in the mirror at Equinox and just sobbing and being like, I don't even want to work on my body, like my body does not matter because my face is like it's so bad. And I know that there are people listening that have cystic acne and struggle with facial deformities or you know, things that might sound what I'm talking about, but I just I felt so sad about it. And I remember him and I've told the story before, I think, but I remember, and this was at a time where I did not want him to ever see those as I still thought that like my love or his love was um conditional and like you know, based on me looking a certain way and all the stuff and um, which he never led me to believe that it was all in my head and on my face. And uh he remember, he just goes, hey, hey, and I was like, I'm so discussing. Please don't driven light Like I don't know what to do, Chris, I'm really scared. What if I look like this forever? It's not going away. And he was like, listen, I am not going to pretend that I don't know what you're talking about. There is something going on. And that made me feel so good that he didn't go like I don't even see it, like I know, I like truly didn't see your gettle chasm of And that's great, But this whole idea, like if you're a guy out there and your girlfriend's like I'm fat and like or like I have this thing that I like, not just acknowledging it and being like listen, it's not like I don't know what you're talking about, but it would never register to me that that would make you any less lovable. That I think is the right answer. Maybe I could be wrong, but for me, that was the right answer instead of him being like, I don't know what you're talking about because it was so obvious. And I hate when I was I hate when I have something going on on my face or my body and it's really bugging me and it might not be a thing that makes make that anyone else would even care about. But when people won't just go, I know what you're saying. I see what you're saying that really bugs me, Like I just want you because then you're not only fucking gaslighting me into thinking like no, your face is clear, like well, then you're fucking blind, Like it would I want someone to acknowledge that there is a thing that I'm struggling with, but that it doesn't bother them. Is is obviously the second part of that, I guess. And when the shoe is on the other foot, do you feel the same way, Like if Chris were to have a six cystic acne, would you care? Oh? No, I remember one time, this is when I was like, oh that I finally understood when men say they love you no matter like when you when you love someone, you don't care what they look like. And this is how you grow old with someone. I remember we weren't even dating. It was when we were still like kind of just friends, and it was around the pandemic time, and I was talking about getting on a d D meds at the time, and he was like, yeah, I used to be on them, but um, you know, I one of the side effects is like hair loss, and I just I would literally rather die than lose hair. Like it's all I care about right now. It's like my obsession, you know, as most forty year old men are struggling with that. And I remember just going like and looking at him and like, I would not give a fuck if you were bald, like get like, like it was laughable to me that something was so of concern to him that to me would never change, even though I know that he would be more attractive with hair, because just it's you know, just based on aesthetically, like the laws of aesthetics, it would probably be more probably look like Bruce Willis without hair, like super cute. I just he could look he could have facial burns, and scars or like lose his he could be headless. And I was I just remember being like, I know, I know what it means what people say they still love people even after they are, you know, disfigured where it doesn't matter. Friend, I guess the hard part is what you were talking about. Like let's say, if I was like, it's my hair, my like you see, we all have like a little bit about dysmorphia or hair dysmorphia. I'm just gonna I'm just kidding. Oh I do not see what you're talking about. I really don't, no, no, no. But my point is is like if someone says, if it's something little right, but it's big to that person, because let's say it's a little bit of a bald spot. It's like, I know, I noticed a bald spot. You see the bald spot, but you don't think it's that big of a bald spot, but they see it as a giant bald spot. The hard part is is going like like you were saying, like I do see it, but it's not as big as you think it is. But it's like I don't know. It's hard because like you don't want to give in to the dysmorphia. I feel like that's why I think guys sometimes will go But the dysmorphia is saying, well, dysmorphia is saying it's not there. That's more dysmorphic than saying, yes, you're losing a little hair. That looks like a hurricane. You know, you know Doppler footage, there's something going on that. Ay, there's a storm of ruin. It's there's kids playing in it for a half hour, tape the windows. But you know, we don't need to we don't need to move. But I want to live in Florida. Yeah. I think there's a difference between I don't want to. I would never like Chris is losing a little bit of hair because he is like that. It would be insane for me to say that he's not because he is. You can see it in pictures. We were going through old pictures. He's lost hair. But would I ever cognitivet like, I would never look at him and go, oh my god, he is losing it, Like I can only see it from pictures and sometimes I see his scalp in his hair. But when I look at his hair, but it's also pluck them out, which to keep him away, but it's it's it's not a problem. If it were, I would support him to do whatever he wants to do. Like when he kind of u sometimes catastrophizes it and I think it is like like, oh god, it's really bad or something. I I always am like, I don't know what you're talking about in terms of it being so bad you would have to do something about it. But I'm not going to lie and say that it's not there. This is not this is not we need intervention, you need to get a transplant or something kind of thing. I'll support you if you want to do anything like that in whatever way, but I will not. I am not. I do not see it, and like I do not see it as a thing. I would never go, WHOA, Okay, I just always go I'm on Google right now and there's like seven things you could do. Oh my god. That's the worst too. When my friends, let's with Carlisle, when I was like trying that one day because my neck looked all wrinkly surgery lasers and I'm like, what about just accepting that I'm going to age and it's okay. She's like, Nikki is okay, you will always be able to kill yourself. There's always a way out. I'm like, thanks a lot, best friend. It is a weird motivational speaker, Like it's so motivate, like she's that is kind of what's her name? Does? Fine? Kill yourself? I just called her Lin Swan, which is a wide receiver for the Steelers. All Right, guys, we gotta go. Um, thank you so much for listening to the pod today. I will be back in St. Louis tomorrow. We'll do it live from there. Um. Panya will be here a couple more times this week. Very excited about that. Thank you so much for listening. Don't be cut and cheer lanterns. Yeah, jack o lantern. Okay, that's good. Get all right tomorrow

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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