The Nicky Glazer, Yes, Nicky Gazer Nikki. Hello here I am, It's the Glazer. It's Tuesday. It's the nickig Lazer Podcast. I'm here with Andrew Colin in St. Louis. Marian is in the chair with him. You can see this on our YouTube page. Luigi's in the chair with me. Noah is in Arizona. Um, how is everyone's day going so far? It's good. I tried to accomplish accomplish some that sentence. I know, I'm slow and fast. You know, you're fascist ship but also slow, you know, like a consummate chap. One day you took sucking Yeah, I didn't even think of a drug. Um. Wait again, So you tried to accomplish things? Yeah, I just I went tried to go to men's warehouse. The manager Wait why because you like yeah, yeah, very nice men's warehouses, very vanist. Isn't that the place where it's like because you like nice things? Oh No, that's the jewel that's the No, that's the jeweler place at the corner of I to seventy fair boy grad boy, it's uh yeah, there's this guy is in every town. But he makes it sound like he's just local. You have offended in the diamond business. The Shane Company, the Shane Company. I never know men's warehouses because you like nice things. Well, I do as you can, as you know, I'm did. That's where they make fun of the men's warehouse where it's like seven suits for thirteen dollars and they're just suits that they sell as rags to clean things up, like you can use them in your kitchen to mop up spills. And it's just because it's just well, yeah, that's what I was looking for. Whoa whoa accomplished old stuttering mouth to the men's warehouse. Yeah, window gets rolled down. Some ladies like, excuse me, sir, excuse me. I was like, I have no money. They're like, no, men's warehouses closed. Manager didn't show up, not till do you mean the window gets rolled down? I'm so confused. When she was in her car, I guess she was an employee at Men's warehouse and we're walking in. Yeah, and the manager had has the keya I assume. Yeah, So how great is it when you show up to work and likes not open? So Noah was it? Noah? Who? Maybe? No way? Was Jed my assistant. Um. Last night, I was supposed to have like an eight I saw my schedule. There was like an eight thirty AM Zoom interview where I had to be on camera. And I wrote her last night to be like, hey, is this Like is this on camera just because but it's just going to be audio. We're just doing it on zoom just to see each other. Or is this do I have to look nice? And she was like, oh, Ship, I forgot to take that off your calendar. That's canceled. She was like so sorry, and I was like, no, it's so much better when I think when I'm prepared for it and then it goes away, I go, I'd rather that than have it not be there. And if you're getting dressed up put makeup on. No, but it was the night before, so I was just anticipating it and then all of a sudden, cancel, clothes can and canceled. Get to until you're not happy when I'm putting on makeup, but then you have makeup on for something else. No, because then I want to go back to bed and I don't want to get it all over my pillow. Yeah, okay, well just quickly when when you get the news like that. Do you get like a physical response like I calm for me, it's a tingling. The same thing. John Laney had a bit about canceled plants and he was like, it's the closest I'll ever get to doing Heroin, the feeling that you get when something you don't want to do cancels. And then he did. And then he did Heroin and goes, let me take that back, me get back. Have you ever done Heroin and got your plans canceled? I could see that, Joe spinning in your head because as soon as I said, I was like, finished our sentence. We're pretty good at that, kay. Then I went to pick up a dress at a tailor for Brenna for the wedding. It was supposed to be done today. I get there, there's like you know that little clock that like small, you know small where they go back in five another companies, another business is supposed to like when people go Now, we're just going I'm going out for coffee. I get to shut down the shop. Ye just for six hours, just for six days, that's fine. And then she showed up. I waited. I was eating food in the car, waiting, and uh, I go up there, it's like the dress ready. She's like, oh no, it's not, like so casual. I hate when they act like it's not something that they need, Like like when you you know, it's like when you order at a restaurant and you go, when you order the meal, you go and I want and I would love like that extra dressing on the side. You're say some annoying thing, and then they don't bring it, and you just casually go like, oh can I get that ranch on the side that that extras And they go, oh yeah, I can get that for you. And it's like, no, you don't act like this is a new thought. You forgot it. And you go, oh no, I forgot Like they're understaffed. That is fine, but just acknowledge that you know that I already said it. Don't gaslight me into being like this is a novel. I know. I know they I had that the other day. And then you go. Then you start eating your food and I asked for what you like, I will wait or something to dip, you know, or something or a sour cream. That's you. You will ask for this thing that makes it essential to you. But if you don't get it, You'll still eat the nibble a little and then I'll will get bigger. No one eats faster than Andrew and I. We are the fastest eater. Kim Dylan very fast eater. I can't keep up. Yeah, he wins out. I don't think anyone because you will eat before the food has been you know what it is. I think growing up, I didn't want to be at the dinner table, so I ate as fast as possible, and then I just went to my room. And I remember my dad being a doctor. He's like, that's not good for you, and I was like, you're not good for me. No, No, I didn't say no. I didn't say that. I did the time. But I heard a great thing the other day. I was watching like old clips, and it reminded me exactly of what you just said about your dad. He went to He was telling Letterman, like I don't know ten years ago that he went to go he brought his dad with him, who abandoned him when he was four. His dad's back in his life and just like kind of a like a guy that like this, and he's like, come on, Davy, you know what it be like. He's always just like just like surfer dude, kind of energy, and he he's talked about him on David Letterman a lot. Letterman gets a kick out of his dad. He's had him on the show, and so he's like, how's your dad doing. He's like, oh, you know, the other day, we went to go visit a friend of mine in the hospital. She just had a baby, and and I'm holding the baby and my dad's like, look at him. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's never done. And he goes, oh really, And he was like, what if I put him on the floor and left, that's like, like you did to me? Is that would that be the better way to do it? And he was, I waited till you were four. You could handle it. I waited till you were four. Oh my god, it is fine, Like a surfer dude and your dad he's like, what dude, like chill? Like you can't get mad at that guy if he's so chill about leaving you, you know what I mean? Like if I did something terrible to you, I was like, nicky dude. I was outside, Yeah, it is a nice it's you want your sur cream, dude. I'm sorry, raped mate, baby raped meaning it's murdered turn or dude, so did so Bretta is not getting addressed? No, she so? Now she said be ready at four thirty. So you know, I have paused little and just be more specific about this wedding because you just kind of glossed over Hannah Burner. Okay, So we have this wedding that we're going to in the Hampton's whatever. It's Hannah Burner from Summer House, our friend. She's getting married to death Bishop. Another marriage. That's where the eighteen years apart. She was eight. Didn't we just look up his age? Yeah, he's six, so seventeen maybe anyhow she's twenty. No, she's thirty right, maybe she has thirty at this point. So anyways, long story short, Uh, Me and Brandon both wait till the last second to get things for a wedding. Does sound like it? I mean you're leaving on Thursday. It's Tuesday. No. Some people get ready. Some people handle this ship three months. I can't stand people who pack for trips like two weeks in it. Man' My mom does that. She's like, I'm all packed up, and I'm like, you're not leaving for three months? He goes. You just throw clothes in a bag. That's what I do. So no, I went to the sup place. They're like, yeah, you want to. I was like, they're like, when's the wedding. I go, I don't know, thirteen days. They're like, oh, you might want to try about three months. Man, I'm like, who the fuck? Also, I can't buy a suit off the shelf because of my fucking centaur body menator, I don't know what I am in my mento or sinner sent up on um, yeah, I'm going to a wedding or like a wedding reception on what are you? Yeah, I mean I bought. I will tell you. Buying things on posh Mark or the real real which are you know, reusable or like you know, real stale clothing, they get it to you so much faster than any you know, retail shop. You these like I was saying the other day, these women that go to the post office that do eBay and stuff, they know how to fucking send a package right away. They want to get that money and so they are not getting the money until that shipped. And so I'm always nervous to buy from a third party because I feel like you're forever They know people who are selling their stuff online. It's the fastest I've ever had stuff in my life because they deal so much with like my mom has sold stuff on eBay, and just having people complain, like if anything is slightly wrong, like there's a piece of fuzz on it. They want any reason to people love complaining that. I know, it's just ridiculous to me, but so many consumers, I'm anyone who works in the consumer customer service knows how awful people are and how nitpicky, and they they focus on these things because they hate their lives and they just need to have control over something that they don't And so um, yeah, I mean so I ordered three dress four dresses off Posh mark. Um. One's forty six bucks, the other was forty one bucks. The one was like two because I'm going with Steep on that one because it's really nice. Um. And then I accidentally ordered another one too that was like but because I asked you where, yeah, I mean I are like, no, it was a different style. But I asked you what Brenna was wearing to the wedding because I was like, what do you even where the weddings? Like I don't know where and you said that she got a dress at Reformation. So then when I looked up that on Posh mark they're so expensive compared to other dresses, which is fine, but um, they are very cute, and so I got four. Are you going to decide the day of day before or do you try them all on? I'm going to start with the one I like best if it I'm not going to try them all on. If the one I like best is the first one, I'll just keep it. I'm not someone who likes trying on things, but I'll keep the other ones for other weddings I try to get out of. Yeah, I'm there, dumb poshmarker. I would check that is a guy stuff too, Yeah, dude, they have every real real Yeah, it has guys stuff. It's all like real reals designer. You know, I've never done it. And then three months later I'll be like, you're looking for a belt like instead of I don't buy anything retail anymore. It's just contributing to the trash of the world. Just get up cycled things. So many things are brand new and they're cool because they don't get they're not. You can't find them everywhere, and you feel really specially you put your sizes into posh marks, so everything you search is only coming up if it's your size. So have you ever got something and it looks like dogshit? Yes, but it's cheap and it's like I just you know, give it to my mind. Doesn't look like nothing ever is like bad quality. If anything, it's always better than that you think because these people know they don't want to deal with return. I mean, these are people that you know selling out of their homes, so they're just they're not gonna lie to you about stuff. But I did. Um. I have this guy in Vancouver who does this um vintage shop. I think it's like Van City Vintage or something like that. But he is always on the lookout for Taylor Swift and like Britney Spears and like pop star vintage stuff. He gave me that Taylor Swift shirt I wore on the podcast yesterday. Actually, that shirt goes for a thousand dollars on eBay and I paid I think a hundred something books for it. But yesterday he goes, hey, my friend because he's in connections. Yeah, yeah, right, it's a great deal. You said, you've never got a deal that's a deal. I was gonna say that yesterday, but I'm never going to resell it, you know, like I'm not doing it to be like, oh someday I'm gonna cash in like that is. I'm going to give it to my like niece. I was gonna say daughter, but that's that adn't happened anytime make something. Yeah, she's got to learn about capitalism, um somehow. So anyway of Yeah, this guy wrote me yesterday being like, hey, check this out. It was a Britney Spears perfectly faded black tea that almost has like a crop to it, but oversized, like you know what what remakes of shirts are trying to be like when they try to recreate the vintage a thick like um collar like from two thousand. It's her on the steps with her hands in between her legs, like looking sad, like the classic pose and um. And I was like, am I going to have been a hundred forty five dollars for a fucking great shirt that has a couple of little bleached stains on the bottom but that maybe adds coolness to it? And I go, I don't know, and you go, I go see if your friend can give me a deal and I'll shot him out on my Instagram if he wants to knock off, like even ten bucks. I was like, trying to get a deal. I never get deals, and I'm like, what, well, because actually I can give back, like people should know about. I love buying. I love following vintage shops on Instagram with these vintage teeth because sometimes something comes up where you go, oh my god, that's the team I love, or that's the specific like you know, soul decision, like no one has a sole decision shirt. That's hilarious and so um think about making mom moved to nut asked the ten a machine because I like the way you make a move. Um, so he said it was so funny. The shirts goes, I'll ask yes his friend. He goes, he can do it for one fifty with shipping included, and I go, how did the price go up? What? I know he gave me a discount on shipping, but somehow it went up, and for some reason, I'm like, I want to do it. I got if you know what it is honestly to me and my stupid brain sounds more than one fifty. Too many numbers. Yeah, it's more numbers. There's more numbers of syllables. That's why people Walgreen's prices, things like because fifteen dollars seems more so much would be the opposite. But still, um um, I don't want to do it. Yeah, I get it, Yeah, but it seems stupid. Don't spend you don't spend a lot like you spend money on clothes. Starbucks Starbucks if I added up, but I just want to Starbucks by the way from a second coffee. And she goes, didn't I already make the string today? And I go, yeah, in front of everyone, very loud, to go I have a problem. And she goes, it's okay, it's okay girl, And I was like, it's not a Venti latte. No one needs two of those within three hours except old glaze dog. Well, look, she ain't gonna your drug dealer ain't gonna stop, you know, Oh, caffeine is not one. Is not a drug. Went. I went to Jay Crew because they have suits ready, none of them fit me. Your boys too thick, too thick for Jake Crew. You are you know? I just did that rental site that the best recommended and they were asking about body shape. So are you a pair? Are you an apple? Are you an inverted triangle? Are you a square? Are you an hour glasses? Like? What girl doesn't want to be an hour glass out of all of those? Yeah, and like, but you were of inverted triangle but tiny hips, wide shoulders. Yeah, so nothing fits me? And then I don't know I have this like you know how I'm a little obsessed with Ray Donovan how he dresses. Yes, the guy that you look like, yeah, Ray Donovan, or just live actually his character? Okay, his character. That makes sense. A watch that I am obsessed with, but I won't convince myself to buy unless I have make more money to where because I've already done this before where I spend money on a watch and the watch was the only investment that you made that was good. Yeah, that's true. How much is this? Okay, it's not that bad, but thank you for going high. It's an Omega Professional C Master three D. It's not a Rolex, it looks like a Rolex. It's just it's just a perfect watch for me. Why you want it to break? Yeah, let's go to break and find out why Andrew wants a watch when he has an iPhone. I do want to know. I know they're like jewelry for men. Maybe that's it. It's a status symbol. But you already have like a hot girlfriend, Like what what propels men to keep trying after they already have the hottest girl friends that anyone could ever have. Let's find out after this quick break, we're back. Okay, Well why the watch? Okay? So this watch I love. It's an Omega as well, the one that you're wearing one I'm wearing. It's Omega Constellation. It's from nWo is my grandpa Marvin's watch. Got it given to me by my aunt Nancy. She kept the nicer one, the nicer four deserves that, I mean it was her dad. Whatever. Who was counting? She is? And I am quick slow turtle rabbit. Wait what was that? What was the word that you didn't finish? Triangle? So accomplished? Okay, so so so they she gave me this. It was very nice. Honestly, it was very nice to get this. I was extremely excited. I really wanted to watch because I feel like a watch, like a simple watch like this, any outfit you wear, it kind of elevates it. Yeah, it elevates it a little without trying too hard. That's a common thing for women as well. Like you can wear like sweats and like an oversized T shirt like a Britney Spears, like vinted T shirt, and then you wear a nice sandal or like a nice shoe, a heel, or you wear like like layered dwelry or jewelry and it dresses it up. And so I get that. Okay, this watch although it's these socks, where where do you get those? That's a statement. Okay, he's wearing gray socks that's say Calvin Klein and black all over them, like it's he's a little label boy. No one labels Calvin Clin kinds of It's not I wear Calvin Klein underwear. No one wears. No one knows Calvin Clin socks. I didn't know it was written all over. I just bought dress socks for like fourteen bucks on Amazon, and I see why they're fourteen bucks. They're they're wearing these shoes. These shoes are nice. Are those slippers? But I'm wearing them just to grind out the bottom. I was worried about my shoes for the wedding because I want to be able to all I want to do is dance because Emma, my boyfriend's brothers wife, they got married, uh two years ago I think, but it was during COVID and they had a reception and not not a lot of people could come. So they're throwing a second one. It's going to be just a reception. That's what I'm going to this weekend. She wrote me and was like, we they have a really good wedding band like that. They performed at the last one and they said it was just like insane how good they were. And she was like, I told them, um, I have I put in a couple of requests that I think you're going to be excited about. And I was like, yes, girls, So I want to dance to some Taylor Swift so bad. And so I was buying shoes with that in mind. I'm looking forward to dancing too at this wedding. Oh my god, I don't dance ever anymore. And I fun So back to the watch to the watch great watch. It constantly breaks down, so it's essentially a bracelet, like right now the second isn't working. It to look for the time when it does work, or do you look phone? So it doesn't really to work. But it's like you calling out my Calvin Klein. Someone sometime will go, dude, your watch. It's a work in case someone calls you out for it, which never happens except for once maybe every four months. So anyways, so that's another reason why I want a more functional watch. So you have an excuse for why you're wearing it, yes, and so I'm kind of have a weird obsession with wanting it, but I know I don't. I think I deserve it. I just don't want to spend that much money on it. Also, I found one on Facebook on Marketplace for three thousand, which is still check out Real Real. They have tons of watches roll X Central and oh yeah, Real Real is roll X I mean Real Real. You go in there, there's things for sale, they do furniture, it's all designer and then that goes down to like, you know, twenty dollars for an Alexander wearing T shirt that was probably like eighty eight dollars to begin with. So like, you get awesome deals on there, but they do have luxury items that are like who the fuck, Well, there's a guy in say Lewis who has the exact watch I want, but it's from two thousand eighteen, but it's the same models, and he wants like thirty eight hundred, so that would be a difference in bucks. That's definitely and used as cooler than new, so much cooler. Yeah, he has the box and everything. He is here not not don't ever buy anything new if you can get it like new cheaper. Just it is funny. Have you ever shot for something that nice? Though? Because because I gus, I didn't want to buy it, Like I knew what I wanted to buy it, but I didn't think I was gonna buy. Like they try to convince you and uh, and then you have on and so you try to like finagle in a way like it have the money, but also is there a payment plan? But also I don't need the payment plan. I could walk out of here right like you want, because you don't want them to judge you either, even though like it doesn't matter. Payment plans are helpful for people even if you do have the money. So there's a twelve month payment plan, so it would be like five a month, but that's every month. I'd be like the watch would depreciate in what I care about it and then i'd be keeping money. That's tough. Is that a purchase that you talked to Brenna about or is it like no, No, I wouldn't, but she'll see it eventually and go how much was that a lie? Yeah? I think that, you know, even there is some like sometimes when like I have friends that um complain about money or something and they buy something and I go, well, you're never allowed to complain it. We're going to any restaurant I want from now on, even though I will always pick up the bill. But like, you don't get to complain about things. If you're buying this thing that is so truly worthless, you don't get to complain about like my insurance is this a month? Like? No? So there's a little bit of that where you don't get away. But you know, I have things like that in my life too, where I'm complete hypocrite, um because I I have this thing. I don't know if anyone relates. I think probably everyone does, actually where I don't. Okay, I think you might will, I think you may actually might not, But I don't know what this is. I am, um pretty generous when it comes to money generally, and as with myself with others. There are times, though, if you catch me on like a bad day, where I feel again we're going back to customer service, feeling out of control, having things in my life that are unmanageable, like I'm stressed out, where I will focus on my money. I'll go to my money and go caught. This runs the wrong way. Stuff haven't even worn it, and I'm just like spending three a month on this, like I'm so worthless. Like all of a sudden, I start picking at the like minors things where I'm like, oh my god, like I just ordered the wrong Starbucks thing that's three dollars extra, like little charges, dude, little ones that I'm just like, what is going on here? Because I just bought dollar guitar last week on a whim that I'm never gonna play. There's sometimes where I'm just crazy see with money, and other times where fifteen cents extra, I start getting so scared and I start like writing my businessmans were like I need to know how much I'm spending a month on this? How didn't like and nothing's changed. It's not like I lost a job. It's not like I suddenly learned something financially. It's just it's so interesting when you examine what is causing this. Like I saw this awesome thing on Instagram yesterday that it was this black woman. And I say that because it's pertinent to the story where she was talking about. Um. It was on one of those like feel good Instagram reposts from TikTok. It was this black woman that was talking about how she talks to her daughter about anger when her daughter has like a fit or something, and what she says, because she she grew up a black woman, that was like when she would get angry, it was like, no, put on a happy face. Don't do that, you know, shaming about anger. And then as she grows older, very scared of being the angry black woman having any attitude. I mean, it's just so much exponentially more fraught for black women than and white women. But now there's the care and thing you don't want to be a Karen. Anger is just whether your boy or girl scary to deal with. But I sent it to my sister and I also posted on my Instagram and I said that I want to use this method on myself because what she does when her daughter is having a fit is she gets on her level and she goes, and I don't do that baby talk. I talked to her like a person, and I say, what is your anger? Trying to tell you right now? What is this? What is what is? Because there's something, there's a siren going off. It's not about the spilled juice. It's not about you're spending fifteen extra on a subscription service that you don't use and now you're beating yourself. What is it? And um, it's very interesting like that. She said that, and I shared it with my sister. I loved it. Um, and so I think now I just try to win stuff when I start going to the places that I genuinely generally go to, my weight, my um, the color of my skin honestly, like trying to tan myself like I can if I'm pale on a day where I'm feeling instag here in other ways, I will focus on that and be obsessed with it and be like, you're disgusting, like I just um, and so I just tried now to catch it. But then I also heard and this might help people too. I've been listening to. I've been really interested in binge eating disorder because obviously I have struggled with that in the past, I've been believe it, I've been um all those you know, I'd start myself and then I would banjah blah blah blah. So it's been two years since i've like binged, but I still feel a little bit out of control with food at times and um, and I've also been I have a girl that I've met through eating disorder recovery stuff, who she struggles with binging. She listened to the show. She's a bustie, like she she found me through recovery, but she didn't know that who I was or anything. I'm anonymous in those situations. And we started talking talking like a while before. I was like before we talked about like our personal lives, what we do. And I think one day she was talking about something and I go, actually, I did a podcast day. I think when I talked about will actually help you. She's like, wait, what you did a podcast? Like what do you do? So now we've become friends. She's a big bustie. Every time she writes me now about stuff, she'll be like I know this is or she's like I know and ham drip, like it's really cute. Um, And she told me that I could talk about her on the show. So I want to just give a shout out to my friend Amy, But she um, I've been trying to She shares with me about her binging and things like that and how out of control it feels, and I just don't relate to that as much. So I'm trying to be a good friend and learn more about it. And also for myself, I feel a little lot of control sometimes. So I've been listening to this podcast on YouTube called brain over Binge, and I love this approach to treating your any It's pretty much the approach that I use for alcohol, cigarettes, all the things I've quit in my life because for beinge disorder or kind of eating disorders, do you always go, what's really going on? It's your childhood trauma. It's because you have love, self esteem. It's always like, it's not about the food. It's about you're broken inside and you've got to fix that stuff before the binging will stop. But the truth is, much like cigarette companies, much like alcohol, uh you know, companies, they gain from making it seem like the thing that you're doing is hard to quit. If the story is cigarettes are hard to quit, then you won't quit because we all want to feel like it's not our fault that we keep doing this thing. And if you give them a reason to go, I can't quit smoking. It's hard to quit. So if you don't know William more like tobacco companies spread the propaganda of cigarette smoking is hard to quit, it's it's such a hard addiction when really it is a very very like small withdrawals. Yeah, and so you would think that that's not them spreading that, but it is because it's actually very easy to quit. Same without alcohol, the withdraw symptoms are definitely more severe. You can literally die from alcohol withdraw symptoms. But again, the perpetuation of like there's something wrong, this is the only thing you can turn to your alcoholic there's you have a disease. This is terrible. So this podcast I'm obsessed with because I've never heard this approach with eating disorder stuff, and I just want to share because I know a lot of besties have this um is that they say on this thing. This girl just went through she used to be binge bener beliemic and she does this podcast with another woman named Cookie ironically, so that she keeps going. So you don't need to reach for the bag of cookies, cookies, what do you cookie? What do you think about that? Like, it's just so funny. But this podcast is awesome because I'm only on episode four because I'm really trying to take my time and learn it. That's really good. Um So what she's saying in it that I can glean from it is awesome. And I want to like siminate this to the masses because I think it's so important. Is that whenever I over eat, or whenever I starved myself, or whenever I would be beliemic back in the day, there was something where I knew it was not about the food, not about throwing up. It was something deeper childhood trauma, low self esteem, whatever the story is, which is all true, by the way, that is true. But the why you binge, why you purge, is really because your lower brain, which is like your animal brain that I talked about on stage, the one that's like get everything pregnant, like your brain that is operating like a caveman, is deprived of food, probably because you've been starving all day because you feel like you're susceptible to diet culture, so you're restricting. So that brain is going next time you fucking get around food, eat the funk out of it, because we don't know what when you're gonna have food next, So that that little voice is saying that, and also that voice, and then your higher brain, which knows better, knows that there's tons of food to be had. You don't need to eat all of this right now. Your higher brain takes that queue and makes it into a story of but I have trauma, I have a disease, I'm weak. Um, this is very hard. And I honestly think that eating disorder centers, although they do great work, and I do think most of the people that work for them are trying to get people better. I think it is a money maker. If you don't get people better, they keep coming back if you keep them sick, and so I think making it like you need to have treatment as opposed to really, this woman used to binge and perch every single day of her life, multiple times. Horrible blimia, which can kill you like that. I mean it killed Amy Winehouse. People don't know that. People think she died of drugs. It was bulimia. Um. It really is about just hearing that little caveman voice of that is the same one that goes fun that girl, like that girl's tips, like suck on her tits like like you would if you were a caveman, you would just go funck that girl. It's taking that voice and going shut the funk up, like I know, you're just a dumb monkey my monkey brain talking and it's literally just going. And so now when I have the voice last time, like I've been recently, like waking up in the middle of night and like just needing to eat because it's like I'm probably thirsty, and so a lot of times you're hunger is thirst and I also just have been anxious more so I get up in the the middle of night and I'm not binging seventeen protein bars like back in the day, but I'll have to and I'll eat them at the kitchen table. I'll you know. But I'm sliding back into this like behavior. So that's why I think I'm being vigilant about it. But what I learned is that that voice that goes, you need to have this food. You're struggling, this is your comfort. You have a disease, you are believing you are antarexic, you're eating sort of is really me making excuses so I get to do this thing that I want to do that really isn't what I want to do, because if I wanted to do it, she says at one point, if you talk binging and purging or starving yourself, whatever it is, if you wanted to do it, why are you listening to this podcast. It's it's literally ruining your life. So you don't listen to a eighteen series podcast about quitting something if there's any reason to keep that in your life. They're just that's so I last night for the first time, like it didn't even occur to me to do I woke up in the middle of the night and I I, without question always just go and grab two protein bars and I eat. I'm at my table. This time, I was just like, I answered that voice in my head the way I compare it to when I'm with Arlow or something and he wants to like hold a knife or something something that I would never let him play with a knife, Like, let's compare it to that, Like it's just not gonna happen. I know you want it so bad and you're gonna cry, and out of context you're crying. People would be like give that boy what he needs. He's on the floor, throat like, throwing himself around. I mean it sounds like he needs sustenance. But I know no, he wants a knife. That's insane. He's not getting it. That's your voice telling you to drink, to binge, to do these behaviors. It's literally a dumb little child that wants to play with a knife, where you are a babysitter and you go, no, it's I'm not even gonna entertain it. I'm going to ignore this. Like I might go, oh, that's cute, like, but I'm putting it up on the shelf. It's not. There's not even like because I think when you have that voice of like should I drink tonight? Should I do whatever? Be? Should I cut myself? Whatever it is you're struggling with, there's a negotiation that happens where you go, no, I can't, but I really want to. I can't. No, don't do it. It doesn't need to be that. It literally can be no. It's as as much of a dismiss you wouldn't consider giving a child a knife, like let me hear him out. You can dismiss that voice as much as a child begging for a knife. So every time I hear Nikki eat more when I know that I don't need to, I'm now going to just say it's a child asking for ice cream when he hasn't eaten anything nutritious in days. There's no way exactly what my mindset was with the watch, driving to the mall, thinking about the watch, wanting it, needing it. Think it's gonna filling. No, I can't, Yes, I can't. That struggle. It feels like an accomplishment when you go, when you choose either way, and sometimes you're going to choose the wrong way, and it's still gonna feel like an accomplishment, which it doesn't need to. You can just you know a little thing I did to help, because I'll do that too. I'll like float to the refrigerator in the middle of night and I don't even know how I'm in there, and I'm just all of a sudden eating ham naked well with a shirt on. But um, I'd take yetti, like a giant yetti, and I fill it with like a quarter o J mango and a water and just have a giant fucking yetti right next to my bed. So water is so cruise or some kind of I'm telling you, I haven't done it a lot of it, Like you said, it's thirst, So I did, and it's big enough for I could chug it like fifteen times, So I'm getting that, like I am getting that feeling of like quench which I get from food, which would feel the same feeling. But it's obviously afterwards after you chug water and you just wait and you just go back to bed. For give yourself. Listen to one song, listen, read one page of a book, and if you still want to eat after that, go eat. Let yourself eat. But the truth is is that you're probably dehydrated. And also when I used to bene, I had a um woman that was helping me with my problems of night binging. And she one night, you know, when I had to start not binging at night, which was like the I couldn't imagine not binging it, like it just was the thing I've done every day for the last few year is of my life. So it's like, what the luck I'm going to sleep through the night. It's just not it's not even gonna happen. And I was crying about it, and she goes when you wake up in the moment and you start struggling. Just remember, no one's ever died of starvation if they waited till breakfast. It really is not an urgent thing. You're not going to die. The feelings are not going to kill. No one's ever died of feelings. And that somehow resonates with me too. I say sometimes to myself in the middle of the night, you do not need to eat right now. You're not running a marathon, you are not actually starving. You ate all day. Now, It's different if you're not eating all day that that is the source of your binging. If you are restricting during the day, you will binge. There's just no there. It will happen. So that's the first thing you got to fix. But I just found it very comforting to hear approach to eating disorders that is just as simple as how I've approached quitting drinking and cigarettes, which is like you're lying to yourself acting like this is hard. It's not that hard, you can do it. I think to your point, like the indulging obviously feels so fucking good, and then the fighting doesn't. The last of your feel terrible. But you know what, I mean you missed the fighting, Like you missed that argument. You'll get in a fight with your girlfriend or I'm not saying to do it. I'm just saying like, that's like that fighting feels like the indulgent. It's the same kind of get off on that part of the drug. But don't engage the little child. And that's wanting the knife in your head because that all those things it's is dumb. It's it's dumb of a need as a child being like I want to play with that knife. You would never give a baby a knife. So don't give yourself those that monkey brain that's going me, I'm not gonna get food for a while. You know better, your smart brain will know. So the podcast I want to turn you to is Brain over Binge, Brain Brain over Binging, and it's just really helps me. And I just want to like let her because everyone deals with eating issues. I know there's maybe one person that's like, this doesn't relate to anything in my life. I guarantee you you send it to your mom, she probably relates. Let's get to the news. Oh man, it's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means. It is Tuesday. I hope you're having all the swells. If you're driving somewhere going to buy something that you don't need, or you're going to eat something you don't want, stop right there and tell your child brain to go fund itself and give it a knife. Eat. Eat during the day, three meals a day, eve when you're hungry, but you know, you know better when you you're overdoing it. Half dessert if you want treat yourself, but you know when you're eating on top when it's going to make you sick. That's what I'm talking about. Um, you having fun with Marian over there, but give your kid a knife. Yeah, give your kid a knife. Noah, Noah. Back to you now over there in the studio and in headquarters over there. Nicky and Andrew will not be on tour this weekend. They'll both be at weddings. But the following weekend on Friday, you guys will be at the Wilbur in Boston. Oh my god, two shows that the Wilbur shows everyone, Yeah, and then uh fox Woods Resort Casino in Connecticut on Saturday. Very excited about the Foxwood show that one and I believe is sold out. There might be single really, you know, as always single tickets if you want to go alone to a show. Um, if you buy a single ticket and you write me me my account Nicki Glazer, not Nikki Glazer. Pot. If you're write going alone in all caps, your name and the show you're going to, no other information. I know you're grateful. You don't need to write thank you and all this stuff. The best way for me to see it is to make sure the first part says going alone in all caps, otherwise I might miss it. And then if I heard it, that means you your name will be at the box office and you will be good to go for a meet and greet, which always proceeds the show. Um, and yeah, there we go. What's the first news headline? Noah, first news line is crazy. A woman who was pronounced dead opened her eyes and pushed the coffin door in the middle of my own funeral. No wait, where this was in Peru? It's always and I knew it was going to be somewhere. I mean, she had to go through so much, she had to be dead, Like, you don't get in the coffin for what's going on here? Okay? The mourners carrying her cough and heard a strange knocking sound from inside. The woman was actually alive and found to be gasping for air when the coffin was placed on the ground after she observed created. Yeah, she was cremated, and then two hours after she's still yelling my legs and yeah, wait can we go? How long did very ash man? You're all ashes? I had a joke about something and not being funny out of roast going. I wanted to only cremate my ears. That's funny. Yeah, anyhow, go ahead. So after her, you know, she observed everyone at the funeral, The family took her to the hospital, where they had difficulty finding signs of life, putting her on life support until she died a couple of hours later. She is this, yeah, we need to Henry. The family essentially had to say goodbye twice, and some of the family members believe a coma may have been improperly diagnosed as death because she was in a bad car accident, and apparently this happens to several people last year. Yea, a man pronounced dead after being hit by a motorcycle woke up in a morgue freezer. A seventies six year old woman who is pronounced dead following a COVID nineteen diagnosis, woke up right before her cremation. Oh my god. Okay, we'll just check the pulse. Let's this is a lesson to us, all um. Can I say though, that I've been getting besties writing me about Tyler Henry or maybe just people that don't don't even listen to the pod, and they are also being converted to believing there's an afterlife because of this fucking Nutflix show. It's so wild that everything else that has been trying your whole life to get you to believe in an after if, all the religion, all the propaganda, none of that works. One Netflix series where you watch this guy where you're like, this kid doesn't want to be famous. He's not doing this to trick anyone. He's just a sweet gay kid. You go, this is too uncanny. I watched him on a Matt Lower interview on the Today Show before Matt Lower was canceled. He didn't see that coming, I'll tell you that, but it was. It must have been the week before because Matt Lower. This is still in the Today Show page. Watch that interview, you guys. I cried because Matt Lower is a skeptic of course, and he's going into this interview with him and he starts talking about his father being proud of him and like little things that he just only would know about his dad, and you just see him his journalistic like you know, wall just crumbling. And also there's one with Hoda and one with Jenna Bush. Hoda sobs in such a sweet way and she and it catches them off guard. They just don't That's what makes me a believe he is that. Yeah, they just don't know, because you know, if it be a skeptic too, and it's like a like a hypnotist. A lot of people are skeptics. You can say whatever you want. There are people that definitely are more suggestible for hypnosis. Hypnesn't admit that. I don't want to do that because I'm so scared, but I would at this point on Friday, I'm doing a hypnosis session on Friday for just a self self improvement. Oh my god, I would totally do that because that's not going to be like pretend like you're ironing you know something, And I don't know why I'm picturing ironing something because I was Actually there was a joke about that and someone specially that I once saw this. This is when I realized hypnois. I always thought hypnotis for real, but I'd heard people go they're not real. I, as a junior, went to a senior after prom party because I was no my friend Taylor in high school. I went to the senior after prom party. There was a girl that was They had a hypnotist coump in front of the entire ass at like two in the morning. The hypnotists brought all these students to the front hypnotized them. At one point he told them that their chair was on fire. Everyone started running around after the chair was not on fire. A girl had clearly paid her pants out of fear, and she hypnotized, took off her sweatshirt and tied it around her waist because she was so embarrassed even in the hypnotis. So you can't tell me that it's not real or those people aren't believing it. If you, no one would. This girl did not want to pee her pants, and that's when I knew that's how you put out the fire. It's pretty smart. Um the dead person know how insane is it that she became alive? The family must have lost their mind and then she's dead right away and then she goes no no, no no, like not God is scary. I mean she must have been dead for a few days. You in Peru, they might be doing it like there might not be a morgue, might be like a village. I'm not trying to pretend like Peru is, like I know, Peru is a very like metropolitan city, but it could be like it could be some kind of like within a type of church where they don't involve the singamore, where they just do it in house. You know that these can be stories like that. I mean even in America that happens where I'm sure like, uh, you know they have. There's this one great clip unread it all the time where these kids in probably South America, um one of their friends who's a soccer star died and they want to have one last game with them. So they kick the like they have a goal set up, and they bring out the coffin and they kick it and the ricochets off the coffin into the net and they all cheer and hug the coffin. It's so sweet and stupid. I loved it. I wish they made him scoring his own goal. You know. Oh you don't know that. Like a lot of soccer players, they'll score in their own goal and then still get murdered. Yeah. This Columbia guys scored on his own goal during the world that's why. That's how that kid died. They were like, we wanted him to have one last one. That isn't that one? So let's have no what do we have time for one more story before we get a break? Sure, okay, this is a sweet one. A newly adopted puppy takes its first walk with his new family and digs up a treasure worth nearly eight thousand dollars in a park in England. Whoa. Much to everyone's surprised, the dog, whose name is Ali dug up would appear to be fifteen sovereign coins, meeting pieces of gold that could date back as far as nine This in that story from yesterday. Wait what was the story? Oh yeah, the head, Yeah, the bust. Yeah. Um, A little puppy found good dog. Um yeah, this is why you should adopt, not shop. Yeah, if you want to become maybe if you can find a bitcoin. I wonder why the dog was attracted to that scent of the coins. I think I think it's the breed. So the breed is Legato room Magnolo. Oh so the yes stands for gold digger. Dude, have you ever metal detected? It's kind of it's Oh, I leased to love it as a kid. It's so rewarding. I mean, it's like going to goodwill. You're finding like treasures like people who it's gambling a little bit. People can addicted to it. You know, it's fun. This was in Alaska. That's like a humble I don't know. I feel like Alaska does not make me feel like you're bragging. All right, Well you did take a cruise there old gold panning. It's really fun, is that where you take those little like get yeah, oh a pan and you sit down. Yeah, it's it's a fun time. You never find gold, it's already been they've been doing in a way. Yeah, I don't I think if I've ever found anything valuable. Oh. Today I was walking the dog and Marian is insane. If you didn't know, last year in July she got attacked by a German shepherd or my parents neighborhood dog and was ripped and she was literally bisected like it was. I can't believe she lived. Actually, a besties friend who we met at the show this weekend said, my friend was the woman who did the operation, Like was the vet that took care of that called Well. I believe her last name is called call Well, called well, um Amanda, called dr Amanda, called Well. I think it's her name. I think I'm sucking up the last name though. Anyway, Marian almost died, yet she still goes after big dogs and she's so tiny. And so today I saw like a bunch of cash on the ground outside that dinner that we walked back, and it was you know, obviously if tip had fallen off the table, and I was gonna pick it up and put it back on the table, or pretend to and then put in my pocket, but you know, I was gonna pick it up and put it in the table. And so I walked over the dollar and I did not because I was so like many many I didn't see a gigantic dog on the other side of the fence where the people are eating, and Marion almost lost her life again because I was like, oh, a dollar, And so I was so embarrassed that I like went over to this dog where clearly my dog was going to get injured and I didn't see the dog, which was so clear that I was like, but there's cash on the ground, extend, I go, well, there's dollars. I got defensive on it, but there's money on the ground. Once you clean up your money, Like I was so embarrassed, it's so stupid. So yeah, I sometimes find things. Have you ever found money on the ground? Any good good amounts of cash? You too? Um? I found like a twenty on the ground one time. It feels good, or you know, sometimes I do it to myself where I'll find like a twenty in a weird pocket and it feels like I love that. It's most worth it to put cash in weird pockets of things and just don't give them a good will without searching and pockets. But that's another thing a good will. My mom has found so much cash and really folds wallets, jackets. Yeah, just from people not cleaning out their pockets before they donate. But generally people go through pockets before, like the people that put it on the floor. I want to say though that, Um, what was I going to say about finding cash on the fucking Oh? I forgot it was gonna be good. But who cares. Um, let's take a break and come back within cares Alright, we're back. What do we care? Why do I care? So? I don't know if you've heard of this, heard about this? Mini driver wrote about a pervy commercial audition in her new memoir, Oh I did. I read a headline on Daily Mail, but I don't remember it, so repeat it to me, all right. So years ago she was in her room with a mail director and more than a dozen people from an ad agency, and she received no script for a commercial years ago, years ago, So this is directly good will hunting. All right. So the director asked her, you seen the movie when Harry met Sally, You know the scene where she fakes an orgasm, eat a piece of chocolate and do that. And she responded, fake an orgasm and he goes, yes, unless you fancy having a real one. So um, she was talking about how, which is similar to what you talk about. How She was just like, well, I'm just gonna barge out of here and I'm going to go warn all the women in the audition room, you know, like what they're asking for. But in thanks for the heads up. I'm gonna start practicing, but instead doing it, you're way more talented to me. She didn't do anything chocolate. Yes, she she did it, yea. And when they asked her if they if she could do it again, Um, she said she couldn't. And then they said something condescending like that's the best bit about being a girl. Right. Well, the thing is that women can do it over and over. Then are the ones that can. Um. Okay, why did she do it if she didn't want to do it? Just kidding, says everyone who hears any story of a woman doing something she doesn't want to do later on, Um, the reason she did it when she didn't want to do it and she knew it was wrong is because you want the role. You also think, because all these people are signing on that this is a good idea, that maybe you're in the wrong and you're being overly sensitive. And also it's scary when you're auditioning and you just do things out of kind of a fear. Yes they're not going to kill you, but just out of a fear they might not like you. All these things. When I talk on stage about teaching your daughters, if a man takes out his penis, tell them to tell the guy to put it away. I say, by the way, no, no one's gonna do that. Your daughter is not gonna do it. We can teach women all we want to tell a man who they like, who they're making out with, who takes out their penis, to be like, do something if they don't want to do it, does help them to put away. I can't even do that. As a thirty seven year old woman who came up with the idea. I've done at one time, so I know that in those situations you just can't do the right thing of like put it away. You hope that we can train women to say it for themselves men too, obviously, but it's really hard. What happens too, I think is you see a celebrity who maybe has maybe two good movies on their air belt, so everyone's like, why would she have to do that? She's famous, she has two movies. You know what I didn't at this time though, no, no, no, yes. My point is is at that time, she's probably even more desperate because she's going on a thousand auditions. Right. You don't context, you don't understand the rejection this woman has felt because you saw her famous for a movie. Rian came up with that idea for that scene, which, if you do know when Harry met Sally very well, that scene is very out of character for for Sally. Sally is like a very prim proper doesn't even like to be asked about sex. For her to like do a loud orgasm in the middle of it really does take you out of it for a second. When I watched it, I was like, Okay, well, this character would never do that, But there's something really great about the fact that she would just came up with it, and I think it's I think it actually has done so much good for the world in terms of alerting men to the fact that yes, we can fake it really well and you wouldn't know. Um. Have you ever had to do anything um for an audition or like a role or something that you didn't expect and you go, oh god, I don't want to do this, Like I mean, I think an equivalent to anything like this as a stand up comedian is when you do a show, a bar show for three people. The TVs on, there's a fish tank that's empty. I just did an interview Ryan, Uh No, it's it's for a podcast with the to me and then you travel an hour for to drink tickets. So that's the equivalent to having a fake Ryan Russilo podcast. It's a very popular podcast. Yeah him, Yeah he's cool. He was really nice. Yeah, big, big, big in sports, and he was great, great interview, but he was asking me questions about that had been submitted from Twitter and a lot of young I think guys asking about stand up and like, I go to these bar shows, they're all just comedians. They don't laugh. It's like, what's the point of even doing this? Is there another way? Like what should I do? And I just go No, there's no other That's the only fucking way, dude. You just you got it, or put your online and try to grow. But like g didn't good at stand up. You need you need a live audience, even if they're just jaded comedians who fucking hate you, and you need to talk into a microphone when you're nervous. It's what you need to do, you know. My My uh advice for that is that even if it's shitty in the room, if you put some subtitles on it, and maybe you oh yeah, and most people watch things on mute anyway stand up clips if they have good subtitles. Um. I once I've had to do things that I didn't want to do and I look back and I'm like, why didn't do that? And I don't want to promote it because it was so embarrassing. It was sexual kiss people I didn't want to kiss. One time, I was in an acting class and they there was an old man in acting class who was probably in his fifties, and all of us young girls were in our early twenties were in this acting class. There was a scene where we had to kiss him and we had to practice outside of class and then come all of us because he was the only guy in the class and so he was doing the part of the guy and we all had to do it with him. And separately, we were practicing together as girls over the weekend for this class that was coming up, and they were like, I can't believe we have a kiss and I don't do this, and I was like, we don't have to do this, we are not doing it. And so I was the one on this class on Monday to go. We've decided that we don't want to kiss him for the scene. And it's nothing against you. It's just we don't think it's necessary and that the instructor, who is this gay guy, was like, oh, so if you have a role where you need audition and this is the scene, you're not going to kiss the actor. And I go, I'm not being paid for this. This isn't a real role. This is an acting class. I don't want to kiss Mark. And I was like, marking to do with? You're so sad? And then I stood up because all the girls were like, we don't want to kiss him. And then guess who? Every single one of them kiss them except me because I was the one that spoke up and had to say true to it because I argued it was so awkward, and then they all gave in and I was the one that didn't kiss him, and my instructor fucking hated me the rest of the time because I wasn't a true actress and no, not doing it, dude, that's a wild story. How many girls were in the class, probably six or seven? So Mark kiss six women? Tense to dude, we we are dealing with, like, I mean, this is a class. Paris Hilton has taken Whitney Cummings like it was the Leslie Khan method, which is a great method teacher James Franco, it was just like yeah, no, um, James Franco wasn't okay, I don't think, but he was. He wasn't definitely used these acting classes to coerce women to do for acting. Yes, it's like I like that commercial for a mini driver. It's like it didn't have chocolate involved, Like it was like to sell insurance, you know what I mean? Like guys, just like using I wrote a scene once that my friend was like, we're shooting something tomorrow. We write a scene to shoot and I was like, I kind of want to make out with a boy. So I wrote a scene where I was pertinent to what was going on in my life and there was going to be making out anyway. But I was like, who do I kind of want to make out with? Whom I knew would be good in this? And I picked So I will admit I picked someone that I wanted to make out with. I've talked about this before. I know that's a slimy thing to say. I didn't know it was not. That's a good thing to do, but you can't help that if you want to cast someone that actually you also would want to make out with and Ben Leeve and I had a fucking fun day of making out. Jesus Christ, how many girl actresses are like Brad Pitts in the movie Okay, I want to ben Affleck and Emily he put her and gun Girl and then on a day Armis. I think he had a hand in that casting. You just go, who do I want to make out with him? Maybe sort of relationship with because we're gonna be very intimate on set the year olds like it's Anthony Hopkins. Let's get to redd it is he ready lips? This is your redit? Dum uh? Noah, you want to start us off? You found something? Yes? So uh. I think we had maybe like a hundred besties share this clip. Yeah, And you told me don't watch a clip of this thing. And I didn't see it before real early on. So this is something that you talk about. I don't want to talk it up or anything. I just want you to just watch. Okay, I already hate it. I would never watch this. If I saw still image of this, I wouldn't watch it. No, this is wonderful, and I'm gonna make you watch this. Okay, So no one gets hurt. Nobody gets hurt. This is actually a beautiful I'm already if you'll be able to hear the audio, but no, don't, don't kind of video. It's it's it's even though I know you're getting hurt, I still don't like it. Well, the besties asked for this. Okay, Okay, it's okay, Okay, it's it's fat men on diving board one. It's one guy. His name is Okay. This guy's not reckless, but I do not like the double jump. I don't like but where you jump and then you have to jump again on it. That's the part I don't like. So this is Zeke Sanchez, who's a part of the East Belly Dive Club. She's not I don't like it either. Come back, come on, okay, I'll stop sharing. That guy is First of all, I love that song so freaking much. Um uh yeah, there is some There must be an ancestor. Thing of it was swim beats. Parents would get drunk after swim meats. Dads would try to show off. And there's something about the first jump, then the jump onto the board after the second jump to get the propulsion that even on trampolines when people do double jumps and spin in the air, I'm so worried they're going to fall back down and hit their head on the like springs on the side, Like I just don't like seeing people hurt. I just have someone hit the back of their head. I did. My drunk uncle Michael once got drunk on my tenth birthday at the Blamford's house and Nata trampoline and he slammed his head into the bar on the side, and I heard about it, like, I just you know, that was a big thing in our childhood, his head. Yes, So now I don't trust. Yes, I remember that too. I don't trust that's not going to happen to even the best person. And I just get worried of the board snapping and breaking, like it just makes me. I don't know what it is, something in my I bet you it's historical, you know, like my ancestors, something some trauma happened with that. But you'll do a backflip, which is surprising. Yeah, because I trust myself. I do get worried on a double jump, though. I do get worried of like the running up and going boom and then boom again. I usually just do a backflip from a standing position into the into the water. Um, thank you for that, but also no, thank you. No, that guy is very talented and that song made it less uh scary. Um, this is so cute and I know people are not. It's not gonna be as cute if you don't show the video. So I'll send that for later because that's a video and I didn't send it to you know, Okay, Um, this is highly relatable. I send it to my boyfriend this morning because he struggles with this and I wanted him to feel less alone. This is a tweet from UM. This is in the sub breddit me I r L me in real life. UM. This is from a tweet from Ashraff Rahman. Three. Do you all introverts ever open a text and think I'll reply when I have the energy and then it's three weeks and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend. Yes, yes, yes, yes. All you have to do in that scenario is right back to the person that it's been three weeks, four or three months, three years, and say I've said this before. Say the fact that I haven't gotten back to you is a sign that I really care about you because I get back to people when it doesn't mean anything, and I wait for the people that I want to get back to so much because I want to give it the effort that I can in the time I have. And I didn't ever have the time that I thought was adequate to write you back, so I just didn't. I hope you relate to this, but also I hope you don't because it's my constant struggle. I'm so embarrassed. I love you, and can we talk? Can we act like this never happened? And I'll try again and I'll probably do it again, but I promise you it is not about you, Yes, because I relate to this so much. What if it's someone that you're not so close with that you would that I would. You can't say that to you without lying, well, that I feel so comfortable of sharing something so personal, because that is That's what I would say, Because what I would say is that I get that I get what you're saying. Of like that sounds too that's too much. Here's a way to say it to someone who maybe is um. For instance, I owe um this executive at HBO of return email. We've got into we became friends and pitched something to her, and then we became friends afterwards writing back emails she wrote me, and I have not read it because I just wanted to give it enough time. She's not someone that I feel comfortable going like, oh, this is an issue I deal with, but I would still right back. I don't care who it is, I would still Nina. I'm so barrassed I haven't written back yet. Please know that it is because I wanted to write back something that was I knew would take me a substantial amount of time because I care about getting back to you, but the time never I never got enough time to it. Got what you know, what I say, I go this The fact that I haven't gotten back to you is a classic example of when, because everyone relates to this, you see an email that you're like, oh my god, I gotta get back to that, but it's gonna take me longer than a minute, so then you let it. So I let it sit. Then, of course email stack on top of it, and although subconsciously I knew that your email was there, I put it out of sight, out of mind, because that's how my brain deals with things, UH that are that I really care about about and I'm so sorry. I hope you understand. Um, but here's my response. People love honesty anyone who you might feel like I can't be that honest with. When you break that barrier of sharing something that's a little bit personal, a little bit embarrassing, a little bit you know, um, just vulnerable about yourself, people eat it up. It's rare that you find someone that goes yuck. If anything, they just won't respond to it, but I'll guarantee you it'll make them feel a little seen in a little better. This is actually perfect for a into my next video. And I'm just gonna play the clip of it because although I didn't send the video that you know what, the audio is all you need. Um. This is from TikTok Cringe, which also the subredit TikTok Cringe. I've realized it's just TikTok's that people like. It is not even about cringe, but it's just a good subreddit for all TikTok's. And the um caption is nobody cares. And this is a TikTok that went viral. And you know, on TikTok sometimes people do it a prompt and then ask people to respond to it. This one was a girl asking this, and then these are all men answering. So a girl asked question, men answer, and that the headline is nobody cares with a smiley face without a mouth. You know that emoji when you were out here, lois who is that one person? I'm on man be on a single san Nobody, no one, because I'm all alone. I think I speak. People say nobody, I'm a guy. Nobody gives a ship. And at first I thought it was a joke because the music so sacred, and I thought guys were just like being like I thought it was just going to make fun of these guys. But it just goes on and on and on with guys being like no one, No one cares when a guy feels sad and alone. It made me so sad. And then I get into reading the comments, and I thought people would go, this is overdrawn, this is overdone. It made me so sad because the comments are all about um normalizing talking about your feelings between men, um, you know. And then it's just my homies, my dad, my brother, there's someone that like kind of shares something. But most of the comments are pretty pretty sad. How we got here. Man, funk this. Men aren't real men if they have emotions. Bullshit. Toxic masculinity is a hell of a drug. Um. Toxic masculinity got shipped done for a very very long time. It got passed down from generation to generation as a way to get ship done. We're the first generation to acknowledge its toxicity. We're still not entirely sure how to function without it. Until then, I'll run miles and do push ups until I figure out how to cope what. You are an emotional man, Andrew. We've heard you call Ari and say I love you, and Ari easily said I love you back, not thinking it was a prank. Even Um, he thought you might be taking your own life, but he was open to it, didn't shame you. Do you think do you think this is a as big of a problem as this? Yeah? I think I think a lot of times men complaining gets pushed off as just sucking man up. You hear that a lot just sucking man up? Dude, stopping a pussy and man up? How are you complaining about fucking? You know? And it could be the smaller it is, the more they'll be like man up. So your mom died. Man up. No, No, but so I think what happened was it seems like it has to be your mom died to get any fucking sympathy. Yeah, it has to be upset about like I just feel lonely, or I just you know, women we can be There's a stand up clip I saw where I was like, women can just be crazy and we let it happen, and men like you can't be a man that's like, um, these are my crystals. It was a really good bit, got a little a little weird at the end, but like I thought it was a good point. I think I don't know a lot of it just has to do with getting older and maturing. There's some friends that I never would have went to that I go to now that and we're like, I don't know, it's weird. Like my buddy Rusty, like we'll talk about, you know, relationship stuff and we'll send each other different articles, or where I would never have gone to Rusty before in my twenties or especially as a teenager and been like, hey, man, I'm having a hard time with my parents divorce. You know, like it just wouldn't have come up. You just it would feel so so I get that. I hopefully you grow out of that and you find a friend that is as emotional as you, and you open yourself up to like a different friend group. I think that helps. I think that the a thing that I I think we need to rebrand being emotional as being doing the hard thing, because it's really hard for men to be emotional. It's harder than a cross fit class, you know, like and and men want to do difficult things to prove their manliness. Like if we brand being emotional, it is like, oh my god, I can't believe you did that. That is so impressive because it does come easy to us women easier, and we don't get impressed by men who share the feelings were like, finally, because we don't relate to being told constantly that our feelings don't matter, that we shouldn't have them, So we judge men like just be just be sad, cry and like it's I see in my own relationships with men when they do share fit things, they feel incredibly emasculated, incredibly on sexy, like it's they feel like you know, quote unquote gay, you know, like it's so it makes them feel like women and it just isn't a gender thing. It's just everyone has feelings and I I don't know. I just get so horny for men who are emotional, and I think it's changing. I think if we brand men being emotional as hot, and if we keep perpetuating that, it will get through because we're all motivated by what's going to make us likable and fucable. Is it emotional or is it more communicative? Yeah, communicative about feelings. I mean when I heard my boyfriend say about you know, therapy, that it was the first time he had ever said his thoughts, some of his thoughts, these thoughts that he's been having out loud, like, said them audibly. I couldn't believe it. I've never had a thought I didn't say out loud. I've never kept anything. And there's something so important about not your mind is a fucking mess, dude. Like your thoughts are going a thousand miles a second. They're all over the place there, they look like a Picasso painting. There's no sense in there. When you are forced to verbalize your feelings or write them down, you were able to release them make sense of them. It's it's it's very underrated. Just talking what you're thinking. And when I heard Chris say that, it was the first time you'd ever done that. Man, he's not alone. He he was like, it actually really helps to like say these things that I think about when I'm on my bike or when i'm you know, on the treadmill, you know, driving, I've never said them out lout of thought them. I just didn't know I needed to. Yeah, a lot of times you don't know how to verbalize it, or you're afraid to verbalize it because it could come off so dark and angry. You've been holding onto these things so long. Oh, you don't know it might spin out of control. Yeah, and you just you just you're afraid of your own thoughts and so you need to go to therapy because that's a place to say something or yeah, dude, therapy so great. You see so many TikTok's where it's like, guys, um, well you know, final thought, I don't know if you want me to where guys will go? She left me and now look at my body and like that's where it goes. Instead of like having one on his conversation, it's seven months of working out and then you learn that your pets aren't going to help your brain. What do you do if you're a man out there who I'm sure that their men are like, yeah, okay, I'm willing to talk, but who do I talk to I can't afford let's say you can't afford therapy. What if you just want a friend to be able to confide in. Well, if you listen, I'm a guy that's open. Send me. You can send me a message and I'll he'll never look and see what you look like. We don't when people send us messages that our hearts felt and all these things. We some I don't connect a lot of the girls that I deal him with regularly that our busties like, we'll just send me things that are funny or just comment about something that happened in their day, and you know, sometimes I get back to them. Sometimes they don't. It's always about if I'm busy or not, or if you know, my phone's in my hand. I meet them at these shows and I go, you're the girl that like I didn't I didn't look into what you look like. I'm not like judging you. You just get the information. It's such a great way to communicate and um, yeah, that's a really nice offer if you're a guy out there that has some feelings, right, Andrew a paragraph, he will. Yeah, I've had people like write me about, you know, giving him drinking, getting on anti depressents, getting off anti depression, having a girl who talks over you constantly and belittles you on a podcast the first two years. Look, wait one year. The other day you've said out of being great, you were like, someone gave you some atity, and you're like, just because she doesn't mean you do. And I was like, do I still treat you like ship? I mean, like joke? But I used to be way worse. Oh yeah, yeah, for sure. I've made an effort. I've made an effort to like like I acknowledge every everything and like perfect, no one is dude and whatever. But I just wanted to make when people they'll you know, what happens is is like you hear this this podcast with us, which is an hour long, and yeah, which and then other days it's an hour and fifty minutes and we never get to the news. But you have an idea of what our relationship and friendship is and we're very open about. But what they don't see is like the other twenty three hours where you're way worse. No no, no, no, that's a stupid joke, but like where your way where it's honestly like some of the we have some of the best times ever, and there's like there's no like above and not trying to sing each other. It's just like and so I don't know, and this sounds like I'm like a like a victim being like no, you don't get it. No, But seriously, like there's like there's a beauty to our friendship that I think sometimes gets lost and like comebacks or like or like little things you see and then they stick to those things and it's like, you're not fucking there's some truth. It isn't a significant hour of our lives, and we are very honest on here, but it is heightened. It is not complete representation of us. But uh, it is the most honest one that I have put out there, aside from the reality show I have to do. I have to say I watched if you watch the third episode, you're really funny in it. You have a really good uh, you have some really good lines, and it's when we're anti or vintage shopping. It's really funny, and you have some really good lines elsewhere. I forgot them now, but they were really really funny. And there's a there's a part of the part where we are just disgusted touching each other's feet. There's the part where we're doing the podcast and you asked me if, oh, you say a really funny thing you're asking me about, like, uh, if the in the metaverse? Will I age like if, because I'm talking about in the future, and I'm like, we're gonna be It's water World. It's like, you know, there's I'm gonna be living. I forget what I said. I said something very dark, and you were like, in the metal verse, are you gonna like are you gonna forty seven? Because I go in ten years and forty seven? You go in the metaverse, are you gonna be forty seven? I go, god no, But that was really funny line from you. And but I like really had like a hard time with the show last night because I watched it and then it went right to Summer House afterwards on my like I was watching it on I guess YouTube TV, and it just knew that I needed to watch Summer House afterwards, and boy, those girls are really pretty and they look good in almost every scene, and I, you know, prided myself on not trying to look good in every scene. I just did not wear that much makeup. I kind of phoned it in. And there are scenes where I'm like, I don't know, I was just having a bad um because I'm like I'm older than that now, Like I look old in that scene and nothing's gotten better. And just having like why does my hair look like an old witch? Is like just having a lot of or being like why did you not say something funny there? Like there was an opportunity I could tell. For so much of it, I was so tired and maybe in a bad mood, and I was trying not to come across as a bit. But some scenes, I'm like, you're such a fucking bitch, like all your little face, Like it's interesting to watch yourself and go, yikes, I mean I need to be better again. Though, leaning into that over leaning into this fake facade that you're showing the people your best possible self. Yeah, I would lean into the dirty, the ugly. I have planned for a second season. I want more. I know I want more. Our show right now is towing the line of like half like bubbly and just like fun and like very reality show, and then half like whoa she looks like in the scene like this is really looks like almost intervention. Like I wanted to be more real. I want to have more like drama because there was drama going on at the time of like getting into like just being like exhausted me, like I don't want to be here today, and like I just want a little bit more of that side of myself because it looks like I'm just like sometimes in scenes, I look like I need to cry and it's like just let it out, girl, like okay, but sometimes the scene was like no, you're talking about your sister's party, like it's not a time for you to cry, and I'm like, yes, I want to though, like I want you know, when you're making a show, you're really just like trying to figure out along the way, what is this, what's the tone? You have no idea what it's going to look like. And I think second season I have a goal to make it a little bit more like what is actually going on right now? Don't try to don't try to keep this in be a man, share your feelings. Yeah, man, up and cry like a bit. Oh, that's that's the new that's a pretty good line. Actually, man up and cry like a bit. That's a good shirt for you. Um yeah, so I said, it's what we do. We find a house. But I would love to do that. I feel like for entertainment. Yes, you've got a drink, you gotta fight, you gotta date other people, and we gotta stab a guy. I gotta, yeah, I gotta, and you gotta look really good and while doing it. Whatever, Yeah, I gotta get a car accident and then wake up. And then after I died, we need to dw I need to meet Tyler Henry bring him on for an episode. God damn, and I want a second season. Please funk, will you watch my show? It's not because I'm not asking this because the ratings are bad. They're actually really good, but they need to be like undeniably good in TV now. So if you are out there and could watch or encourage your friends to watch, you know, after the premiere numbers start to dwindle because premier is, like it says, the most push, and now press is dying down. I'd love if you did an extra push for your friends out there. To watch the show. Thank you so much. Um, don't be kid, great episode, a lot accomplished today. I'm about to go to a couple of therapy. I'm very excited for it. This was a good little a mouse a mouse bush for that got my feelings coming out already. I'm bleeding. I was actually I didn't know if you went yet. I'm kind of excited. Oh yeah, I'm excited to go to I love a couple of therapy. It's so good. Okay, uh, don't be ka and yeah they no, no, I think, I think all right,