The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nicky. Hello, here I am, It's Nicky Gleazer, this Nicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to Thursday's episode. Um, we're doing something special today. We're gonna we always go through our fan trax, which is our fan mail UM that we call fan thrax, based on anthrax that was being sent to people in the mail in early I don't know how we got there, but we got there. And um I'm joined by Andrew of course, and Noah. Um, Andrew's nine floors below me. Noah is nine states away from me, and uh, feeling pretty good. We already did one podcast today that this is actually being recorded on Wednesday because we are traveling to New Orleans today and then Florida this weekend. I saw im bummed about it, but I'm loving zero right now, loving, loving, loving, Um, how are you feeling about it? Andrew? I feel good. I just hope that in the clear, so I don't know, we'll see you got clear. You have T S A P and clear, that's true, but I don't know that clear nostrils we'll see. I mean, it's so funny because like I have this test here and I'm just waiting because I don't want to go too early and find out I still have COVID, So I'm like, right, right, right, Well, if you have COVID, you could perform with a mask on. You could skip the meat and greet. Um, we could ask the front rows to put on mask if you know. People can wear a mask if they feel scared. Um, it's a theater show. No one's getting close to me. I feel pretty strongly that i'll be And it says fifteen minutes you have to be within six ft of someone and you're only on stage for twelve, so boom, we protect everyone. I guess I'll go short just to save lives. My own. Last week and in Houston was it's gonna be hard to beat that club. Um it's called seven one three, and it was so nice. They gave me a jacket with my name embroidered on it and then on the back it said a Glaze in the Moon Kings, which is my dad's band. This guy already shout out to already there who does all like the talent relations He got a cake for Andrew that we decorated, and Andrew shubbed his face in, which was hilarious. I'm sure you saw that on Instagram. Um, he got me a a picture of Luigi. I mean it was just like so above and beyond. It's so funny how those little things can make you. They make all the different venues never do that stuff. And it's like, this guy had an idea, We're gonna do something different than most venues. You know, like that that just doesn't happen. And and I wrote my agent saying you know, he wrote me and was like, so cool, you're doing this going alone thing. He saw my post about if you go alone, I'll give you free meat and gred. He was like, that's so lovely. And I go and he was like, how was your weekend? Happy Easter? And I said, you know what, it was a great weekend all around. I gotta say, Austin, that theater at the Parents Amount was one of my favorite. Those two shows were two of my favorite shows of all time. But Houston, I was in the best mood because I scooted on I did it wrote a scooter on stage because they had a scooter because the hallways were kind of long, so he brought us this little electric scooter. Um, and all those gifts really make it stand out to me and I said, you know what, Nick, my agent name is, I said, we are going back. I want to stay loyal to Houston because they put in the extra effort to make me feel really good and I want to honor that. It's just it was really nice. It's like when those guys at the casino gave the guitar and the and the putter, and it's just I don't know what that one. I'm just kidding it was. I'm just kidding, k I remember it was because it was something like, I know, Del Taco. Yeah, it sounded like Del Taco. It was Dell got another Yeah. Honestly I could use an amp um. No. That was so nice too. I mean there's just you know, little gifts and it doesn't have to be that that much. I mean, I got a card from a Busty this weekend too that I haven't opened up yet because I'm just not ready for those kinds of feelings. Always getting nervous on Fan t Rex Day, I gotta say, I get nervous hearing voice Almos, even though they're always nice and they made me in the best mood. Why is it we avoid things that make us feel good? What is going on here? Like I feel good in the moment. When I hear them, I feel like I just don't. I just I guess I'm scared there's going to be some sort of criticism laced within. Even though I know Noah is very aware of weeding out any kind of thing that might bump me out. We never get those kinds of voicemail. By the way, I know everyone's so positive. What am I scared up? I just one you might feel like you don't deserve the love, so you don't want to or at least that's what I go through sometimes, Like if I get too much praise, I'm like, I don't deserve this, and then, uh, then you're not going to react the right way. They might not say the door doable, Yeah, dainty and adorable and oh my god, cracked me up the other day. Yeah, I think you're right. Actually, Andrew, it's it's a self esteem issue because I'm scared they're gonna say something that might I might take like, they just might say something that makes me. You know, people compliment all the time, and I walk away from it being like it wasn't exactly what I wanted. It's just so stupid and it's all my own stuff. But it's it's both, you know, It's this addict idea that you hear in twelve step. A lot of um addicts tend to think they're the piece of ship at the center of the universe, so it's like you think you're great, but you're also like it's the idea that like, I can't watch myself do comedy, but I can make people like what the fuck? I don't know. I have to post a thing today. I got um a I'm gonna say what no one made me laugh about. But because I put a boat, I feel me. But I do have to post a real on my I got asked to do like a promotion thing on Instagram for this uh like wireless company, and I they sent the offer and I was like, I would do it for more, and I just don't want to do a static. I don't want to do a post. I'd write, I'd do stories all day, but no post. And if they can't do it, like I just didn't embarrassed to do posts. And they got the money up and I think it came back. They were like, we got you too, we got this, this, this, But I for I thought that they probably eliminated the static post, but they didn't. And so now I'm like signed this contract that I have to post a thing, and I had to write this monologue the other day, memorize it, get lighting, and like it was a lot of work. And I feel like sometimes you get paid so much for these things and you go, oh my god, my life is so easy. But I was like, no, I put in a fucking lot of work. So I gotta post that later day, and I'm so embarrassed. I'm just gonna post it and not look at the comments because I'm sure people are gonna be like, look at Nikki like schilling herself out for whatever. I'm gonna spend it on good things like um uh, fourteen thousand I'm asks I ordered from Amazon. I'm not joking you, sixteen I'm ask all different kinds. I should do a video of it. But no way, you made me laugh the other day. When you know, whenever I send you files or like ad reads or whatever, al rite like thank you, and sometimes I like pile on the appreciation because I just know that I've sent you like a bunch of bullshit and you gotta whittle it down to sixty seconds, and it's just like, ah, this girl works so hard and I just don't even see most of the work you do. And so I think I gave you, like the compliment that we talked about, like that you really like And then so you wrote back You're like, thank you so much. I know you're like so busy and everything. And then you wrote another email going and you are and it was adorable too. You said something like that was so cute, and it did make me feel good. Even though I've asked for that compliment. I like it when I get it still. Chris, And yesterday when we were practicing throwing, he was like, by the way, you were so adorable and I was like, yes, he doesn't even know that I said that. That was my number one. It's so nice when you get it. Um. Yeah, So that was a nice moment. Um. Anything else going on in your World's today? Mmmm? Not just a boring fucking day, you know, just to hang day. Brenna actually took off work so we're just hanging. Oh nice. Does she does she have Coco? She tested negative for Coco, but symptoms for Coco, so uh, you know it's you know, the patient has now become the doctor. So now, um, it is interesting. You just like give it to each other back and forth. I guess that's what community does. It builds it up so that you don't get it again right away because everyone you have you know, Um, that's cute. It's fun to take care of someone you love, especially that she just took care of you. I'm guessing yeah, yeah, she was like insanely nice to be like it was. It's very special when someone I just a facial for some reason, is like the nicest thing I think a woman can do for a guy if he's accepted. It's just like seven steps of love. It's like I have a question for you, you know what I mean. It's just like so touching and so like, how do you know how does she do it with with your beard? Because I feel like that takes up half your face You only have like this much half the job. Well, you could dig into the beard, you get in there with with stuff like I think women think facial hair makes the face like completely there's still like a scalp underneath. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes feel like like ignore the mustache here. I'm like, you could get in there, that's where that's where the real fun. That's where but I think women washing that out at all. That's probably is built up in there. Oh that's where all the build all guys build up outside their bed. Yeah. Yeah, it's disgusting, fucking maggots. Chris would let me do a facial on him. He would just be like, I got it, you don't need to do that. Like, trust me. I'm like that too, even him, and he's just like, no, I'm good. When they're pressing the face, I like lean into it and sometimes it can be too cold, like she was using that cold stick. I love giving massages so much. Oh my god. We had that bestie who If you're just joining the show, you're gonna be freaked up by this. But I'm into just like operating on people's warts. It's just like my dream. I want to do it. I know it's so disgusting, But we had a bestie who I God love her so much. The Cozy Wall is her name on Instagram. She was in Vancouver and was like, I have one for you. It was she sent me pictures of it. I was like so excited and I see her the meet and great. But Andrew couldn't make it to those shows. And I couldn't be a weirdo bringing this girl like without an accomplice to be like Nikki's weird this is her thing, Like I needed someone to be there to be like to like kind of make fun of me, like a threat to vouch with, like my with my opener John and his girlfriend. They would have been like what are you doing? But this girl was like, you can do it, and I was like, girl, I thought about ordering scalpels. I was going to take samples with me, but I decided, like I can't do this because it's you know what it felt like. I told her. It felt like exactly like being on the road and being offered you get cheat on on the hottest girl in the whole, like your number one, and you go, I just I want to so bad, Like it's all I've been thinking about. I've been like dreaming about, like I have this opportunity to like this is like my dream. I'm wanting to get works just so I can. It's like all I do at night is watch videos of these things, like I'm a weirdo, but it's just so it's the number one satisfying thing to me in the world, and I just couldn't do it because it's too weird, and I felt the same way men must feel when they're like, it just be wrong to do even though I I want to it's thank you for offering, I just can't. But I'm gonna be thinking about this so much, and I really relate. I mean, I don't want to say that's how men feel when they get offered pussy, but I'm guessing it is. There is a part of men that it's uh in women too, where it's hard to turn down a thing that you may have been dreaming about, but you just can't because it's gonna it's gonna make you look too bad. She said she was gonna sign a document that said even if I hurt her, she wouldn't be able to sue. And I'm like, can we get that notarized in Canada? Like I just I also, I'm scared of doing something wrong with it. She goes, what about if you just tell me what to do to it and then I'll film it? And I was like, are you you are the best? Like the fact that I found someone who like is coming up with a way for me to like. I thought about paying people on Reddit to do that to the things that they post on their Like I thought about being like, can I pay you? It's so weird, but I just care you could do something where like it's like you could do like some kind of VR thing where like you could put on well, I don't know. I'm sure there's some kind of virtual reality where you, I mean, where you can put on goggles and hurricane on TikTok. So many people are into pimple popping and all this ship. So there's these like they make like skin things that you get to know that people can pick, and so I think there might be maybe a ward thing that you can perform surgery. I'm sure there were three of us. Most people in the wards subreddit are just there to like treat their wards and talk about like how much they suck. And then there's others like us that are like, there's three of us. Do Google search though, because there's plenty of doctors that are you kidding me? I've done I know. Then why is there no like cadaver ward thing that you kind of practice cut Because you have to be skilled to operate on the human body. They're not just going to give a random girl who has a podcast a cadaver like a like a fake, like a fake because people would have to design the need would have to be more than oh, you know, like practice ones for got m hm. Oh god, here's another thing. I like the blood supply. I like when it starts bleeding. That means I know I got to it. Like it needs all the things of being a human body. Okay, we gotta get the fat. Yeah. Let's let's take a quick break and we'll come back with fan Trax. Andrew comment over to you, Welcome back to the show. We are not talking about what we were talking about before. We were moving on to fan Trex. It is an all fan Threx episode. This is a bridged episode. Whe we're gonna get to it. No, what's our first fan Oh let's do the theme song? Oh yeah, I forgot about the things we'd be remiss. Here we go. All right, I thought you were frozen metalist buck. All right. Our first voice smail hell Razor is from Nikki. Hey, guys, um, it's Nikki, and I wanted to share an embarrassing kind of confession that I feel like it's sort of similar to Nikki not wanting to share her favorite ordinary serum with us. Because I'm like, if she scared it all run out and like there won't be any left for her. Um, but it's a out. Nikki's show coming out on e May first, Welcome Home Nikki Cleanser. Obviously, I'm super stoked to watch and I will definitely tune in. I feel kind of going nervous and like upset about it becase I'm like, oh no, now all these people who aren't besties are going to watch, and there's gonna be like so many more people into Nikki Cleanser, and it's like less Nikky for me, which, of course, um is absurd, and saying it out loud is even more ridiculous for me now. But um, I wonder if other besties feel the same way too, that like not going to be less Nikki for everyone else. Either way, we'll support. I love you guys. Oh my god, I relate to this so much as a swiftie. I really had to give this up because I share her with the most amount of fans. But I really, I really relate to this. And let me just tell you from the person that you're worried about, like losing out on um, the thing I don't necessarily think it will translate to as many more podcast listeners as you think, and if it does, that's great. But the podcast listeners will always be more special than any other of my fans from any other thing I do. So you'll always have that, and you can always say like you're my bestie, and you can say I was here from the start and and I will never yeah, I just but I but I completely understand that feeling. It is flattering that you have it for me, but there is enough of me to go around. And I promise I won't change. I will do everything I can to not change and be like different if I get more famous or more fans or any of that stuff that I always fear about when I love, um, certain people, even my friends who have become famous, I've been like, I have to share them with their fans, you know, things like that. So um, I I work very hard to not uh yeah, like the people that liked me first. She compared you to like a fifteen dollar serum, So I will take it. That's Siam has changed my life and that it's really seven dollars, but I thought it was seven, but I really didn't think of seven, and I put it feel better Oh my god, her voice is so soothing. Oh, it's very like I like her name Red Shoe Diaries. I don't know if you remember that on Cinema. Is it Red Table Talk? No, I don't know what Cheo Diaries. It was very like sexual. Yeah, yeah, that was like when it was on HBO right off to Cinemax. It started with a girl like reading a story. David Dukovany was in a lot of them. Oh yeah, he's a sex addict. Yeah, you know, he came out as one that actor and his voice is very sexy. It's like Californication. I wanted to be him so bad. The girls are all black and stuff. Really for when you watch Californication was your first he was like my hero, Like I think he's the one that made me feel like I wanted to be whatever, an artist or whatever, like a cool I never saw that show, but I know people loved it. The first one about what was he? Yeah, he was like a fucking complete degenerate asshole who fucking like he had a wife and a daughter that he and he just sucked everything and he was like that's what I want to Well, he was like a real artist. He wasn't like cheesy, like he was like fighting the urge to write books, like he didn't want to do it, but he was so good at it kind of thing. I don't know. And he was he was funny. He was a piece of ship. And that wasn't like when you were seventeen though. This came out when you were like thirty seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, very big information. It probably came out when I was no. It came out when I was No. No. Seven Californication. Sorry, I'm still on Red Shoe Diaries California Cage. If I had to guess, I'm going to guess two thousand Uh, what's fifteen years? No. Two thousand eight, I'm guessing two thousand eleven, two thousand seven to two fourteen. Oh wow, Yeah, all right, because I was still doing real estate when I was reading. It was on Forever Jesus Christ. First, the first episode was great. He was to get into that show. I got so many old shows that I gotta go back to, but we gotta keep going with Fan t Rex. Let's do it alright. So on the top end on the topic we were just talking about, right, here's a voice of Nicky Andrew and Nolla. This is Kate from Baltimore. Um, I have a mispronunciation for you, guys. So I am thirty years old and until last year, I always thought that the time like maneuver was called the time like remover because starm moving what they're joking on? Um? And so yeah, I mean it was slightly very humbling when I figured out that was very wrong. Um. And I just have to say I work in the medical field, which and it was a little alarming, but Nikki, I'm work in dermatology, and um, anytime we treat a wart, which is like multiple times a day, Yes, I think of you, and I just like, think of how much you would enjoy it if you were sitting there watching what I'm like. God, I would love you, guys. Love the pod um Jack my boyfriend's name. Oh that's a good one. Um. Yeah, that this pronotation is great. I don't begrudge her not knowing that it would make more sense calling it the I'm like remover. I wonder if there's a dermatologist in St. Louis that can let you shadow maybe a little shadow program for you. We're all nick maybe we could figure that out. I don't know what hippa, but I just feel like, yeah, well, there are a lot of dermatologists on YouTube who film these things for creeps like me, and their patients are totally fine with it because they sign a consent form being like your foot can be on it and their face isn't in it, you know, sometimes their voices because the doctors like talking to them while it happens. Um, I wouldn't be able to do it though. I'd have to get like actual training, or I'd have to have someone like that girl like, let me decide. I'm just I need to get some Planner's words. I have suggestion. Okay, what next time you do the family constellation? Bring up the wart topic? Yeah, why is this so a thing? I'm into so much? Someone in your family the hill you can't climb? Yeah, I mean I remember being a little girl. My sister had Planners words because a little little um no, it's flat. Planner's words are fat flat, They're not ever. I just want to make sure you know, um, because at the bottom when they push in and they go deep. But um my sto at him when she was a little kid, and I remember she got like we were climbing in my cousin's attic and there was a nail sticking on it like hit one of them and I was just like oh and it like was bleeding and I was like wanted more. And I remember that was the first time. It was probably I was probably seven, and I was so into it. So it was a thing that started young. It's probably deep in my DNA. Who knows ex fan trax there next, we just uncovered everything that doesn't explain it. Most people would just be like everything, man, everything, dude, all right, here's Catherine from Canada. Hey, hey, it is Catherine from Canada and Nikki's favorite name a k a. The Cozy Wall. I got to be here the other day in the ver If you have a chance to see her on tour, do it. Oh my goodness, it was so amazing and being a bestie you will understand so much more than anybody else in the room. Lots of really great bits in there. I just wanted to apologize, actually on behalf of all Canadians for our customs officers. Any experience that I've ever had coming back into Canada has been brutal. They are the biggest dicks, even to their own citizens. They make me feel like I'm doing something wrong and then I'm a criminal every time. So I just wanted to say that it's not just you, it is everybody. I actually adopted a puppy a few months ago. A rescue puppy came up from Texas for me, and I had to cross the border to get it and bring it back in. And on the way back, they searched my car three times, grilled me for forty five minutes, took my sleeping toddler out of the car to search her car seat, and the dogs crate. They thought it was smuggling drugs, and so I just wanted to say it's it's not you, it's everybody, and it really sucks. I know they're just trying to keep us safe, but it's a little bit overboard their Canada. Anyway, I love you, guys, don't be cut and jack and ropes. He could have fit on that door, Oh he could. Oh my god. That was the girl with the guys. That's the cool girl with a ward. Catherine. Um, yeah, that's Cozy Wall. That's fucking Cozy Wall. We were mentioned her ward, but that's the one. So she, Um, she's awesome. And yes, that was in Vancouver. I got so many, not only from Katherine. Thank you so much for that, by the way, very validating that. It's like I thought she were gonna be like they were nice to me. Um so nice to hear that it's not just me. I got so many messages about Air Canada being dicks and about the Border Patrol Canada Canada being dicks, so it's not just me. It is a thing. And it felt so good. And there was apparently a guy who sued some French Canadian because you know, Quebec is the only place that there's like a lot of French speaking Canadians. I think I could be wrong, but it's mainly yeah, Quebec. But they make Air Canada do French every single announcement, so you know, the announcements on planes they take twice as long because they have to do French too. But we're in Vancouver, there's it would be better to do Chinese. There's not as like there's many Chinese people in Vancouver, not as many French. I could be wrong about that, but um, I got told that there was a man one of these French Canadians who sued Air Canada, or because he did, they didn't do the announcements in French and he like did this big lawsuit was just a dick about it. And there is this like battle in Canada of like, God, we now we have to like honor the French even though it's just one little part of our thing. It's very interesting. I also think it's funny when these people at the border, because you know they can you know, they get in trouble for what's it called when you know you're picking someone out because based off their look profiling, Yeah, they're profiling. So like in this instance, they're like they like for one out of every ten of those, they have to stop like a baby and a puppy and check its asshole for like cocaine, just so they can then profile and other people for you know, it's like, no, but we stopped this this woman with a you know, a baby rescued German che you know what I mean. It's just like they do it to make up for the like being a complete asshole to fifty other people's. Unfortunately, it's unfortunately that like most of the time, profiling in those circumstances work like people like but you know, they also know that isis or whoever is capable of young girls with a child and award that wants to get at the checked the war for another adopted dog. And it must I mean, I'm not someone who gets profiled, so it must fucking suck that. It's like the that's you know, I don't get profiled more. I think I have like a I can pass for Middle Eastern. Having pre check helps because you go through an intense one and they kind of let you go. They don't go as crazy. But I mean I don't I wouldn't even know what it's like. But yeah, it sucks even when like you see your bag go through the thing and then the bag waits and it's either going to go to the left or right when it decides, like I hate and they have to search my bag and it's always just some fucking zvia that is snuck in there from the green room and forgot to take out. And I go and the guy goes, what is this? And I go, it's really delicious. I know you guys can't eat the stuff because it could be a bomb, but like you would like it a lot, and it's like can sometimes. All right, let's get to the next fad that Okay, here's uh a quick story from Andrea. Hi, no drukie um. I want to share with you guys a really cringe worthy zoom blender that I had. Um. I was graduating with my PhD over zoom alone in my apartment, which was really sad um. But I had figured out how to get my family on one computer zoom which was facing me, and the graduation zoom, which was on a screen behind me. So when it came time to open the zoom with like the faculty and the other grads in my department, I didn't realize that it didn't automatically mute me. I was all nervous and emotional, so I didn't check. Anyways, I joined that room and then turned to my family zoom to tell them in Spanish that all those faculty members that they could see hated each other, and look how miserable they all are. This is how they've always been. It's such an awful place that people awful, etcetera, etcetera. Anyways, I turned around and realized I was not muted and just about died ud. They speaks actually, I don't think anyone that speaks Spanish was on the call, and by that point they really couldn't do anything except give me my degree. So I was okay, Yeah, it was mortifying. I hope I don't want to see any of those people again in my life anyways. I just wanted to share my cringe e zoom moment um. You guys are awesome. Thanks. I think it's just tell from the her hone though she's mocking us. Yeah, it's you know, and there's some kind of like sometimes you do spanglish and it's probably like that red shirt cunt say her name like perfectly in English, Yeah, like Rosa blasa, Nicole's a whore. Yes, Oh my god, thank god for being bilingual, because that would have been horrifying had they understood completely. That's why you gotta spin the geek to the good but the girl with the gush. There's gotta be nothing better, though, than when you get that graduation paper and you can finally be completely honest with your professor, even though nobody really talks to their face, but just that feeling that you that you have no more connection with them, that you you don't have to kiss. Day did you burn? You graduated? They caught me what you graduated college? Right? You got to? Yes? I still have dreams that I don't, but I didn't. But yes, I did, me too all the time. I'm not even kidding. I'm not kidding. Does if I live in a world where I think more about not graduating in my dreams than I do about graduating in my real life. So it's as if I haven't graduated. I'm haunted by them continually. You know. I called to Lane University and I go, hey, can I get my diploma? Because I don't believe I got one, Like I don't believe that because I lost it, and like I just don't believe that. I because I so I never got mine. Yeah, I didn't walk either. I walked. I told you this, I've walked two months before. When I didn't have enough credits. I didn't. They gave me an empty diploma. I walked. I had no diploma in there, so I just had nothing in there. Everyone's like, was it a blank sheetet? But they rolled up a blank like that. It was like a napkin with somewhere. It was like a table setting. It was like like a blinder kind of little thing. Oh, I think they give you a scroll rightually what it is? But all I know is an owl in a fucking hat gave you a scroll. I don't remember, yeah, I think actually, but anyhow, Ellen gave your speech the world for that. I bet she made seventy dollars on that appearance. Yeah, I don't remember. I was so hungover and like shaking and crying in the back. Oh my god, I can't even remember if she danced and said be kind fuck dude, and then yes, I called him and I got the diploma and I was like, Okay, I guess it really did happen. But I still I still have dreams that I never graduated. Yeah, yeah, it's weird. Those are very common. What did you major in English? Because I was already fluent and I had a p credit and I just wanted to do comedy and I just was like, I'll pick the easiest thing. And it turns out it was not easy. It was English literature. It was like hard. I just had to read stuff, but I never read a single thing spark notes and I would just you know, find excerpts to support these loose arguments that I would make. Um, but I did well. It was just a very It was a there's an education in bullshitting, you know, phoning it in you know, um, but I did use that degree because I was a teacher at one point. So that's when I know I got a degree because I had to present that too, um when I was teaching at the Korean prep school. So it did pay off for that one semester of teaching. But other than that, never have used it. Never so many jobs. If you just said you went to like not the best school, but you graduated, I really think they would never check. I think now in the digital age they do, but back in the nineties, now they didn't check that ship. Let's take a quick break and come back with more fans. Rex. All right, we're back. We're like blowing through these. These are fun more more more U. Next voicemail is from Sophia. Hi, Nicki Andre Noah, this is Sofia bestie from Oregon. I'm just calling with a mispronunction pronunciation story that was on The Bachelor months ago and I have failed to get it out of my head. But one of the contestants in the hell said hearsay she say, like implying that it was that it's gender like he say or she say, And I thought it was hilarious. That is such a good one. Can't get out of my head. Whenever I think of saying saying and want to say it could give it two different options. I hope you all enjoy Jack Pott, Jack Pott, I love that because it is so it's just taking two common phrases and putting them together, very fun like that's hearsay and it's also oh, hear say she saying. I thought at first she was doing like her, like her say, she said, two different hers. It's really yeah, it's he said, she said, it's not, he says, she say either too. So it's funny that does it? Does it really grind your gears? One hearing grind your gears? Uh? Someone says that's what that's what she said. No, I just go huh. It's just it's like, it's nice you can make a little joke. What about it bothers you? I don't know. It's just so well, it's interesting because it's people get it from the office generally Michael Scott saying it all the time, and Michael Scott was not funny, and so it was a joke made by someone who is classically not a funny person and really dorky. So when people do it, they're paying homage to if they're trying to actually be funny, it's it's a weird thing because you're actually imitating someone who's like was the caricature of someone who wasn't funny? But um, I don't know. Sometimes it's it's good. Sometimes you catch one that's like really good where you're like, oh, that would be funny if someone said that in this actual way. And I think it's an easy way to you know, we do that all the time with sexual stuff. Will be like, um, and that's you know, I'll be like, oh, my porn viewing is a slippery slope, and so is my pussy. It's the same thing as that's what she said, you know what I mean, Like, it's it's the easiest way to make that very similar joke. And you and I dabble in that all the time because we could go forever like dabble take it. You know. First of all, you know, I'm not a comedy snob. I think I'm almost opposite highbrow. But I don't know, I just feel like sometimes it's way too forced and it's said a lot. There was a time where it was said a lot. That's what I mean. It's like Dad jokes. It's it's comedy for people who are just trying to be trying to be funny and don't really know how to be it's funny. Chris just recently asked me. It was so cute. He was like, hey, will you because sometimes I write him. I'm like, hey, I want some roast jokes. Like sometimes I make appearances on things and they just want me to roast the people on them, and so I'll just write you know, Andrew, Emil, Chris, Tim, his brother, a bunch of you know, all my friends that I know are just probably available if they can. They're great at writing quick jokes, and Chris is really funny, and I write them like, hey, just roast jokes based on these. And he asked me the other day. He was like, I want to be there for you in those moments and sometimes I'm like not free, but like I know, like how I obviously understand jokes. He was like, I want to learn how to write roast jokes, like I want to be good for you in that way. And it was really sweet because I was like, oh, I would actually love to teach you, like it would be fun to give a class on how you take this little germ of an idea and turn it into an actual joke and what that process is. Um, I just love that. And it's kind of similar to how he taught me how to like throw and stuff like. It's just oh, like, it's fun to teach things and it teaches you like it teaches you something. I don't know. I've never taught comedy before, but I guess there's an art to it. Um. Yeah, it was cute for him to ask. We both took classes. I mean, you know a lot of people they always go, how should I get in the stand up take a class? It's okay, it's not. Yeah, it's you know, it to be too cool to take a class. Just learn the joke structure. And I always tell them start start with the most embarrassing story about yourself and work out from there. I think that's good. I always say, don't ever try to write from your perspective, just right for someone else, and that's better advice for someone like me, who I like a homework assignment and I do better at other people's homework than my own. And I also had no idea what to say, so I was like, just write jokes that you would submit to Sarah Silverman to say and then just be that and then just say that. So it was very much helpful for me to not be like what do I care about? Because I didn't know what I cared about or what I had to say like right for someone else. So that was my tip, But I like yours too. I'm trying to think of my most embarrassing story though, wedding the bed. You know, that was probably it, and I still don't know how to really make that funny. I've tried too close to it. I haven't gotten over it yet. You've never said that on stage. You've never talked about wedding the bet on stage. What about? I mean that story is hilarious at school when the girl fucking yeah. I mean, I've told the story, but I've never made it into like stand up now I should. I mean, it's already there, you know what I mean. I think a lot of these stories they're already. It's just it's already. You just gotta tell them without. It doesn't need the biggest twist. It's already fucking hilarious. Yeah, that will come out and it's own way some day for sure. It's like the reason I do everything I think, Um, all right, let's get to yeah and words. I do everything for words. Um, let's get to the next fan trax. All right. This one comes from a listener named Innocence. Hi, Nikki, Noah Andrew Besties Innocence, and I find myself with a new ange. I worry that people are going to think I'm could because I do certain things. For example, I never repeat an outfit. I might repeat a garment, but never an entire outfit. And once I've worn a garment too many times to repeat it, I will turn it into a completely different garment so I can add it back to the rotation. But I don't actually think this makes me cool. I just have ridiculous obsessive compulsive disorder. And I feel like if I don't present the world with an entirely new outfit every something today, that the sun won't come up tomorrow. And I'm wondering if you think you would be able to tell the difference between and mental illness. Love everything you do. You've been my like one of my favorite comics since I was a child, and I appreciate you oh so very much. Thank you, and jack Wagon is what I'm going to feel like as soon as I hate the stop button. Probably I never even heard wagon. I like that no innocence. Um, obviously that is not fall under. But I'm glad that you asked. Um, I'm glad that you're keeping the sun coming out every day by changing your outfit. I think it's a you know, we all have our things. I have to knock on wood when I say something like, I've never done that, Like I always have to knock on wood. Um, that sounds like a fun one where you can't repeat an outfit. I used to pray to God, and I'd always have to be in a different position when I prayed, or else it wouldn't come true. Um. Yeah, these little obsessive compulsions. Um. Yeah, No, I think that if you were like I can't repeat an outfit, because then people won't think that I'm rich and have lots of clothes. Like that would be a different thing. But um, no mental illnesses. Never care I don't think even though it may present itself as carey, it sounds like, I mean, it's got to be expensive to not be able to wear the same outfit. I mean, can you wear the same outfit maybe a week? He won't wear like shoes and the same jeans and the same socks and the like he's gonna, he's gonna it also sounded like he recreates the Harman like he uh right. I would like to see some examples innocence of these outfits. I think, Um, I'm kind of inspired. I think that I don't really repeat outfits either ever intentionally. I'm never like this is great, this shoes and this shirt and this I think I might be good about it. I might think I already did this. I can't do it again. What will people think part of me? Once? Uh? One of the weekend's coming up? I want is there rent a runaway for guys? No. I was thinking about, like I want to start wearing like really loud outfits on stage just as just A's like almost like too like test me because I always wear like the polo fucking stupid you know jacket with jeans like and like I never or a black sweater like it's it's so hard for me to be dress. I don't want to like get crazy, but something that like where like my problem is every time we take a photo of us on or of myself on stage, like you every single show, you have this new outfit that you could post and it's like boom, like it's just like flashy and awesome and cool, and then I just look like, you know, an old fucking wet towel every single time. That is the that's the curse and beauty of being a woman is that you get to change up your look a lot more than men get to. Um. I would maybe implore besties to maybe loan you allowed jacket or something when we go to cities the way you can like just literally rent it from them, you know, maybe set up some kind of runway off in our hotel. Yeah, but I see what you're saying. Um, yeah, you want to wear louder things in general, just to mix up the pictures. I hear what you're saying. Yeah, there's nothing more boring than pictures of men doing stand up, like how did Eddie Murphy? It's so boring to the it's compelling because we're beautiful. We could do make up, we could do a hair, we need men, it's always just a T shirt just like it is so boring. And when you're singing, you could make like a cool face. I mean, you made some cool faces in some of the photos. This weekend. I think maybe it might be about that, like doing funny things and getting more action shots. Now, what about a photo funny one or an all red leather outfit on like what gave him that look cool? Yeah, he wasn't doing it for laughs, you know what I'm saying. No, I know, but even if he thought it looked cool, look at machine Gun Kelly, look at what he wears, look at what anyone you could do anything andrew that. You just need to incorporate that style throughout your wardrobe. Should I start wearing an all red leather outfit? I mean maybe that's more. I think you love fashion my fruit roll up suit? Yeah, that red? Yes, I don't know. I be funny. I was just thinking that Harry Styles thing that you're posting and he's rocking like a disco ball on his body. I mean I would my body would look insane in that same outfit. I mean, he has the body where he can wear hot. What is it about him? Because he's masculine, He's like, he's masculine, Wow, feminine and just he just canna he's just he's free. That's good. No, he's just confident. He looks like he's wearing something that I didn't even think about what he was wearing. I'm not even kidding you that. Like I it's now coming up in my head, But it didn't incur to me when I was looking at these clips that he was in this like sequence like that. It was just his his body, his face is like his movements. It was just so erotic. God fuck yes, his body. And he didn't see that. Oh yeah, I mean it was all right, let's get to last fan tracks and then we're gonna say goodbye for the weekend. This is a good one to end with. Here's a message from Katie Katie, Hi, Nikki, Andrew and no uh um. I'm listening to pod right now, Record of the Year, um, and I am listening to the part where you guys are asking, like what you know, retail employees actually like tending to customers. And of course I can't speak for everyone, but I mean speaking for myself. When I worked in retail, I actually quite liked when a customer wanted to interact with me and wanted to be like friendly, impersonable, because I'm a friendly, impersonable person. And I was actually told quite often to stop talking with my coworkers because I was distracting them and myself. So I was just kind of stuck being by myself all day, just folding clothes, and so if a customer didn't interact with me, I didn't have anyone to talk to. I was pretty much just like bothering people like hey, how's your day, and they were like fine and just walked away. So I mean personally, I really liked talking with customers who wanted to talk with me. I like being able to actually help them and be like, oh, there's actually something I'm contributing other than just folding clothes, you know, Yes, I just wanted to share that. Thank you. Also, talking my a SMRs voice, I could, um you guys, Jack get good. It's perfect for someone at work. Great, great, great to know. I mean, um, I like that because I feel like sometimes too, where I'm really chatting and I get bummed out when someone doesn't want to chat with me and I just feel like I'm trying to connect and um, what an annoying boss. Whoever that boss was that told her to calm it down. I hate that ship because you go into these places and they're like they don't even want you in there. No one's talking to each other. You feel like you entered someone's else. That's really funny. That's a bit when you go to a store and you're like, am I did I wander into the house? Yeah? Of like a frat house that no one wants to talk to me. I don't know. Yeah, that's how it feels. And I feel like this girl had the opposite of that energy, you know what I mean. And someone was like, actually, we're too cool here at fucking air Apostle for this, yes or whatever. No, it sucks when someone like just like kind of just makes someone feel bad about the way they are, like the thing that they because that's just who she is, is is someone who connects with people. Because that manager is so either jealous of that energy that she has and how good and how this girl might like eclipse her or eclipse him, whoever it was. I think it's that kind of like stop doing that a lot of times in space and I can't do it, so you can't, and it makes me feel bad that I can't do it. It's nice to know. I'm gonna I think I'm gonna try to make more eye contact and look for those UM employees who are looking to connect and make their job about more than just folding things and like straightening racks, because yeah, it's nice to have. It's so nice when you connect with humans and like have a real moment with a stranger. Um, whether it be an uber or whatever. But um, yeah, that was good to hear. It's a good perspective to hear. Thank you so much for that. Oh sorry, I just love like if there's definitely times where like salespeople are just trying to sell you ship, but then there's other times where it's like they are actually being genuine and stuff and then they try to sell you ship. It's fine. You go there and everybody knows youthing and name buck. I went in there in Austin. I didn't buy anything. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't fashionable and it wasn't good. Doesn't feel to not buy something You told me that you were like, and I didn't buy anything. I felt great. I always fill up my cards and then I just like click out of the window and I'm like, I just saved hundreds of dollars. Dude. I had a sweater my life. I had a sweatter ready to go, but it was ninety degrees in fucking Austin, So I didn't buy it. All right, I gotta go because I gotta go do a podcast with Dr Phil very decided and nervous. Uh yeah, how's that working for you? Okay, guys, um, thank you so much for listening this week. We will be back next week. See you this weekend in Florida, New Orleans, and Nashville. And we love you so much. Thank you so much for all your fan taxes. We'll see you next week. Tobek and Jack Wait, what are those things that like you throw Jack's Jack's Okay, Jack's