The Nick Podcast Ni Nikki, thank you. No Uh, my dear producer, Noah in Arizona. Noah in Arizona. I kind of like that it's day two of the podcast. I'm not gonna be keeping track like this of the numbers. Uh, well, maybe I am. I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen. But it's day two. We're in it, man, I mean, this is happening. This is just my life. Is that I do. It just dawned on me, Noah, that I do a show every day, like you sign up for these things that you go, this is what I want, and it is what I want. I'm very aware of what I want. But I woke up this morning and this one had to be done at an hour that was not ideal for what I you know, like because I have such a long day my schedules. Uh. But then I go, I'm brushing my teeth and I'm like, oh, I want to sleep more, and my head hurt and I'm like, I gotta think of something to talk about at the top of the morning. I haven't been up this early in a really long time. And by the way, it's eight am. It's not that early at all. Um, is it six am where you are? Or seven am? It's six am? So you guys don't have daylight savings in Arizona, right saving? Sorry? No, uh no, so now we're technically in like Pacific time right Okay, so they don't have it here in Grand cam came in either, so when it we gained an hour or whatever happened the last time, I don't keep track spring forward. We did not spring forward here and it um. Yeah, I was on the East coast and now I prefer to be on East Coast time because it always makes me feel like that. The It's the way I used to feel when I would go to bed and my parents would stay up and have a party. It makes me feel safer that there's most of the nation is still awake partying when I'm be up too late like insomni ing. I don't know what it's called when you have insomnia like staying up, but um and then being too early when I was on Because I've lived on both coasts, this was starting out to sound more interesting than I thought it was, So I'm going to move on. I am tired, but who the hell is not tired? In America that's why we need a four day work week, which I probably would not subscribe to, but I do have a four day work week anyway. It just dawned on me that I have a four day a week show that I'm going to be doing for a really long time in the scheme of things. I don't want to get into my contract details, but I'm like, wow, I'm this is a commitment. This is more of a commitment that I've made in anything in my life, I don't think, because nothing is more. I've never signed more than a year lease. I've never entered a relationship that was like, we're going to do this forever. I've never I mean, I've gotten pets, but there's no guarantee there, and there's always your parents that you can give them to to take care of them for. You know what, You are hilarious right now trying to not have a nip slip on camera. It's just me girl, Andrew. Andrew has learned to stay in his room now from yesterday's episode. It's so early that I'm still in my pajamas and I turned this tank top that I got from Nasty Gal into my pajama because my boob keeps coming out of it. Nasty Gal, you get, you got what you paid for. I've always felt weird ordering from there, but they do really well. They do. Um I you know, I've stopped ordering from there. I just want to get like stuff that could is Nasty Girl, the brand that that girl Boss Woman started. Yes, I mean it just sounds like a line of clothing for stripper. Is not that there's anything wrong with that. I found out a girl last night that I was talking to, um that I met through work, that to me is just a normal normal not like strippering isn't normal. But we're just talking and she was like, oh, yeahs I was. I I used to, you know, strip when I was eight. It was so fascinating. I love strippers so much. I U because to get on stage and take off your clothes and like move your body in sensual ways might be the most humiliating thing I could think of for me. And I'm in awe of anyone who can do it the way that some people are in awe that I can stand on stage and just like talk without stopping and you know, potentially say something not funny and then what happens And it's like, oh, you just you get over it. You it hurts. But like, what if you're on stage and you catch someone's eye and they're like gross sedout, but like you know what a guy is making a face like, or like someone's pointing at you and laugh. I mean, maybe you blur your eyes. I blur my eyes for the audience. Do you know that? No? I don't know. I didn't know that. It's a weird thing that I do where I'm on stage, and I think I've talked about it before, but because someone told me, reached out to me and said that the only other comedian they've heard do it. I mean, I don't want to compare myself to him, but it was Steve Martin, and maybe we have something in common. Maybe I'll step away from the business forever at some point. But I when I get on stage, I don't look at the audience at all. I can't see faces and it's not something I do on purpose. But I can blur. I can blur my eyes um like without like right now you're completely blurry to me, and I have contexts in but now you're now you're clear, blurry clear, and my eyes don't change at all. It's just something I can do, and I read it where I learned on TikTok, which is the new reading that uh that you know like a d h D TikTok. There's like, you know, girls and they're being like little facts you don't know about a d h D. You can blur your eyes and I was like, what so anyway I can blur my eyes and um, and that's what I do when I'm on stage. So even if someone's in the front row, um front row rut row I And if you ever go to my show and you're in the front row and you're like, no, she's gonna make fun of us, No, I won't. I do not do that. I know that I'm a roaster, but I just want you to be aware. When I go intour this summer and fall, please get as close as you want. I'm not even gonna see your face. It's gonna be a blur um because I don't want to see an expression that might disappoint me. I think that's it. I don't want to see someone's face either, not laughing. I can tell when people are laughing are a by the sound. I don't need to see your smile and be by the way the blur is moving, so like when people laugh, there's a the burn blur starts to tremble slightly, so I can know it's laughing. But if people are just I don't want to look. And I also when you look at someone's face in the front row, whenever I say front row, it sounds like row row. When I look at the the ro row and you see a girl's face that might just be like out of it, thinking about how she what she's going to eat when she gets home from the state because she didn't eat enough because she wanted you know whatever it is. That's just me I'm projecting, but like or she's looking at my jeans and being like where did she get those? Those are a little tight or whatever. She's judging, you know, like just thoughts not really present, and I see her face and I look at her, we make eye contact while I'm on stage. The girl people will just laugh because they're nice. They're not trying to not laugh and they realize that they're not laughing and that's what they're supposed to do. So when you make eye contact, they're like giving me what I want, which I've done before as someone in the front row of UM the row row of UM Chimby fallon stand up show, which was my first stand up show ever at a college he did, and when I was still in high school, I went to go see him and my friend college and Um. I remember being front row, you have to like really keep smiling on your face. So I don't like to force a smile. I don't and I never want to force anyone into anything, so I keep it blurry so that I never have to make eye contact and feel a bad about myself or be for someone into smiling and laughing when they don't want to, which and but Andrew will get off stage sometimes before me and go, hey, listen, there's like a pretty severe burden victim in the front row, like they don't have a face or you know, like hey, there's someone in the front row that looks like this, and like you know, there's sometimes their facial um disfigurements that can be alarming just because you're not used to seeing a face that looks like that, and not in a rude way, but it's just like, hey, there's some don't don't make a face at them, like whoa, because I will have to say that one of the worst things that ever happened to me was I'm sure, like I'm so embarrassed even share this. But one time I was driving and I was in the backseat of a car, like an uber, and I was just looking out the window and we were pulled up to a stoplight and a car pulled up and there was someone with a facial disfigurement that I did not see until I turned to the right, and all of a sudden, this person was first of all staring at me, very close to the car next to me already staring at me, which is a scary thing. But they also had a facial disfigurement. I don't remember what kind. And I have so much empathy and like I love to watch I watch YouTube videos of people with like burns and like facial disfigurements all the time because I just find that they're people that are like burn victims are just like have such a good outlook on life after they've are like acid attack victims. Anyway, I like scream, like I like yelped when I saw this person because it was scary and alarming and it just felt so cruel. But it was just like this human reaction of like, oh my God, it's you know, and so Andrew will sometimes warn me about those things, not because of that incident, but because you know that happens to good humans or good well meaning humans as myself. And he'll go off stage and be like, hey, listen front roe blah blah, and I'll go it doesn't matter. I know, like whatever I'm what I'm doing to their face with my blurring is worse than whatever it could be. Like I don't see anyone. And sometimes I get messages after shows from guys being like, you're making eye contact with me the whole show and I felt it, and I'm like, no, I wasn't, buddy, I was looking into the ether and blur in my eyes hard. So I hope that doesn't deter people from coming to shows, because sometimes people like to have that connection. But I'm not looking at you, and it's only for your own good. All right, let's get Andrew in here um for the second day's worth of breaking news. And by breaking, I mean he's going to break news, like literally, it's going to be broken after this because of how he reads headlines. But I bet you he's coming in hot today and he's gonna have his ship together so we'll get Andrew in here shortly. Thank you all so much, by the way for listening to the show yesterday, and all for all your posts and you're sharing on your stories, the rates and reviews. Um, it means so much in the enthusiasm about it. But listen, we're gonna be here every day, so let's just get comfortable and uh, we'll talk to Andrew right after this. Andrew, Welcome to the show. Second day, Buddy, Good morning, good morning. Um, I just sleep LUs night. Yeah, I slept naked again. We had to do this podcast early. I know it's hard to sleep when you know you have to get up for something early. I felt the same way. I don't know how people do it with jobs. Did you say how early it was here? Yeah? So early. People that are listening that get up every day at like five are furious, probably at the fact that I think eight o'clock is early. Yeah, but eight o'clock here's five o'clock some somewhere. Yeah, that you are dressed like a guy who actually says that on ironically. Yeah, I have a Tommy Bahama on. Uh, I'm doing laundry right now. So it's been two days in a row. But um, yeah, a lot. There's a big Tommy Bahama community, and I feel like you need to get on board with it. I understand that Tommy Bahama is a brand that people pay way too much money for. And um, because you kept saying yesterday about your shitty shirt Tommy Bahama, Tommy Bahama, It's like, that doesn't mean anything to me, and you go, it means something to the peep to some people, and I go, well, it still doesn't. You can have a shirt that you're like it's high quality, which you know, I guess, I see it. It's a little threadbare in certain areas, or there's threads coming loose. It's like a count probably give or take. Is that how much you paid for it? No, well, we we. I lied to you the other day. That was the first lie of our of the day for you. Yeah, so I saw I lied about. I bought this shirt. It was a hundred and twenty dollars, but it's off. It was in a and I came in kind of not the nicest shop on on the island, but not a bad shop, a bad shop at all. I I cleaned up there and got some really cute stuff. I spent about the same amount of him and got like five items. You know, it's a little fast fashion the items, and I regret that, but hadn't shopped at a while, needed some new clothes, wasn't prepared to wear things like I thought coming on the show it would be like my wardrobe for the show, which is really dressy, and then other times I just want to be in pajamas. I didn't know that I might be doing things outside of the show where I'd want to look nice. But then you spotted this yeah why shirt across the room at this place I went. I let him go shop on his own and his own section. You let me, I mean, I just like you know, I wentn't mind. I kind of abandoned you. Yeah, I'm a free man. I can shop with freeman. So I went exactly where you pointed, and and I got his behavior of the story. Really are so in my mind when I shop, I think about how you're gonna judge me. I'm not gonna lie. So I went to a fifty percent section off because I knew if I paid full, which is probably better Tom equality, you would have even judged me more. If we walked out of there and I had ensured similar to this, but with maybe one more colorful flower on it, and it was a hundred and thirty dollars, you would freak the funk out. I just judge you when you spend a lot of money on something that is truly like worthless, and I know you're not going to use a lot, So yeah, it does irritate me when you um spend a lot of money on things it's none of my business, and it's probably yeah, it's none of my business, and it's a definite flaw of mine that I even interfere. But I just when I see spending that is just stupid, it bugs me. And I don't want you to fall from marketing schemes of like this is fifty percent off, when they actually just double the price that they want you to pay and then slap us acker on it and make you feel like you're getting a deal when it was always meant to be sold at anyway, and it's already marked up at so you spent seventy Who owns more things that they only wear once in a blue moon. You. I'm not talking because I'm a girl. Man. That's different, and and I don't buy things really that I only wear once, and it is certainly not for seventy five dollars never. Maybe I mean that necklace I gave you the other day forty bucks and I never wore that, and I felt terrible about it. I really didn't had every intention of wearing it. God, I thought it again. I thought it was more money, yeah, but yes, so I I went, I bought it. I paid seventy five and then I don't know when you asked me, but for some reason you asked me how much off I go cool? And why were you trying? Why did you want to buy Hawaiian shirt in the first place? Because I wanted one photo on Instagram that got a minimal about a life that I took down any seventy five on a post that you took down almost immediately because no one gave you what you wanted for it, which is attention about like cool shirt, like what? And you said you saw some m M a guy wearing a shirt, and that's a guy named Dustin Pourrier. Shout out Louisiana Hot Sauce. He's been selling it. He just thought that's what they called him. And he beat Connor McGregor recently, which was an unbelievable, like story watched? Uh is that the fight we watched? Yes, okay, yes, I watched that fight with your ex boyfriend and your future Yeah in my future ex girl your new girlfriend. Yeah, when I was fingering here a little bit while watching the fight, and that wasn't my ex boyfriend were talking about like, um, I don't know new stocks stocks sitting in separate chairs and were on the you're fingering around under the blanket, which I definitely said that you could do. I got because I was like, listen, I'm gonna be watching TV with you and your girlfriend. I know. That's just like I let you shop in your own section. I just I don't mind that everyone like, oh my god, Like you know when you're when your best friend gets a partner, whether it's a girl or a guy, like girl friends of mine have gotten boyfriends. What I hate more than anything is that our friendship and the closeness we share gets compromised by these new inside jokes that are rumbling between a new relationship, which is normal, but at my expense, is never something I want to happen. So I never want something like sneaky being like, oh my god, I'm fingering you, and Nikki's talking to us about how she went on a run and you know, got sunburned or something, and You're like, oh my god, you were fingering me. And you guys are like, that's your inside joke about like how I didn't know it. That really bugs Like, of course, I understand you guys are gonna have inside joke that I'm not a part of, but I don't want to be a part of the joke, and you don't want to be the butt end of it. Yes, and I don't want your finger in her. But know what, but I want to say that before that even happened, I go listen. I know when we're watching TV at some point we're all watching V together, US three, you're going to finger her under the blanket. I don't. I know what's happening. So I'm getting ahead of it. So it's the joke is not on me. I'm going to guess your fingers in her all the time when I hang out. Yeah, they're never not. I mean I have small hands, so she doesn't even know it. Dustin Pourier was wearing a shirt. He was wearing a very colorful shirt and he really rocks it. He doesn't have to because most m m A fighters, you know, they're gonna wear black, they're gonna wear no affliction or whatever or what's the other ones? Just like real shitty. Yeah, Like I'm a badass. I've never uh like come early. I've never not bench eight thousand pounds ever watched a YouTube video and go oh and like teared up because like a little boy was like yeah, or like a dog's best friends with a pony. I've never cried so those kind of clothes. So he wears a lot of colorful clothes, which gave me the inspiration to go for it, and I realized his shirts are way more expensive, way more cool, way more like specifically he's wearing Thomas Bahama and like yours was just it's just it's so plain. There's not enough couple are going on. It looks like he works at a resort on the island, like a low end resort. As like a duvet cover. Someone said, I was it looks like a duvet cover. That's assault that kmart for someone's beach home that they really you know that they're just kind of decorating. They don't have to be there. It's by the beach. It's bad. It's not like it's a beach home. That's like it with two buttons and leave the rest undone. It's more of a look and you are making more of a statement with the necklace. It's it works a little bit better, but it is a terrible shirt and you wasted your money on it. Did you get there that was so great? I got two tank tops that are going to wear probably yet no, because I'm so excited. Well, I wore one of them and I got so many compliments, and then I got the other one in white and got black and white. I'm like obsessed with them and I only haven't worn another one because I'm waiting to wear it when I want to look sexy a f and I haven't had a chance to really do that offset you know what I'm saying. So then, um, and then I got, uh what else did I get there? I got a couple other things. I've worn it all. I got where to pokas? Oh yeah, he went in there wanting to buy puka shell necklaces to also ironically like the shirt, and you walked in there is a clear jewelry rack, like this is where the jewelry is in our store, and then you looked at it all. We went through all the jewelry, and you go, I know, and I go, maybe that one. You're like no. And then we get to the front to check out, and you asked the woman, hey, I'm She goes, did you find everything all right? You know, cursory asking, and you go, yah, I don't have any like pouka necklaces. And I'm like, did you see? Now we have to go through this whole riggular role of her bringing you back to the jewelry wreck you already looked at show you the things that she has that you don't. Did you think she had some pukas in the back or something. I don't understand what you thought. Safe. No, they're not like Cuban cigars where there's like they're kept in the yeah and like be like chicken Jingo and they're like what Kinjingo? And then then they opened it up and it's just pouka's. Maybe there are, maybe there's some puka necklaces made from very valuable materials that I don't want to lean into being this guy, this this this island man. But it's so fun, like I'm I'm about two days away from getting full braids in my hair. But I have a I have a receding hairline. It's gonna look horrible. But you're you're not. You can't get braids. Your hair's not long enough. You braid anything. I don't think that's true. And um, we gotta get to the news. What do you got for us today? We got some fun stuff. Okay, let's move into it. Let's get after it. Already, here we go, folks, we're all out there, all right. Utah's governor considers a law that requires mandatory porn filters on phones and tablets sold in the state. Yeah, drive over to Colorado now to get your to get your you have to go across state to jerk off. I mean, just what it is. I think it's just like it has a filter. Like you know, Utah's very Mormon and um uh anti. I'm not gonna say the whole state is, but you know that you go there and it's like the Cayman's. They don't have sex shops here. Oh yeah, you know, like it's very This is a very Christian nation. I think that's what it is. I think they're Christian here and um yeah, very uh purity and well not they're not Puritans but puritanical UH beliefs when it comes to sex and stuff. And so yeah, this guy is trying to get UH filters put on devices before you even buy them, so that you would have to remove it, kind of like you know when you two put on that album on the on the new iPhones, remember, and everyone was so mad about it. This is the this is the opposite of that. No, it's pretty much like that. I would be a saying, I don't know why people got so angry about that. Just take the thing off. People are they don't want anything forced on you. Yet we have so many other laws like this one is ridiculous. Government, stay a funk away from my what I masturbated, believe that kids duty to be protected from porn and how accessible it is already guidelines on on so little, but both have parental controls already. Yeah, and then the funny part about that is that um like he's he wants to pass this law because parents don't know how to use Apple and Google to turn those filters on, right, right, Well, do learn, I mean take the time parents, if you don't want parents will take the time to learn how to turn it off. That's the only way that the parent will actually take the time to learn, like to read the US so they can jerk off. Yeah, dude, I mean look, also, five other states have to sign this to make this a law. Just beginnings though. I mean it's like this isn't actually going to happen anytime soon. But it is an interesting article because I do find that I can't believed easily accessible porn is. I don't know what kind of questions they could have at the top of a porn page so that it could block out someone who's eighteen um or under eighteen. Look, I wouldn't mind if the government step name a big song or uh, did you watch Are You Afraid of the Dark? Uh? What? What lineup of shows was a hit on Saturday nights for Nickelodeon. I don't know things that only people, oh that we're older would Yeah. Yeah. Also, it's a ten dollar fine, so I mean I don't know how many times. I mean that could probably add up. Actually, if you've got a ten dollar fine every time you checked out porn, how much money. Yeah, that's that's what the government, that's what they're trying to do. So they're passing the law if your kid breaks it, if it's any harmful content that can can include any description or representation of nudity or sexual conduct that doesn't have artistic, political, or scientific value. I mean, you could argue porn as artistic value. So I've looked at paintings at the moment and it has nothing on double penetration that I watched last night, right, Uh, did you did you read the little um this history behind the video? Like what's it called? The little placard next to the DP video you were watching? I did, and it really taught me that four days ago a girl got paid thirty five dollars to get d P by two men, and it was it was pretty I gotta be honest. Last night I did read some of the descriptions because I was trying to I had like search terms that I was looking for, and so it led me to some of the captions that my the search words were showing up in and the writings for some of the porn descriptions which I always overlooked. No, no, I a couple of words and then they would like highlight where the words were in the in the body of the paragraph about it. And some of these descriptions. I know that porn descriptions can be written like by almost bots, like it's just doesn't make any sense. But on the websites I pay for where there's like money put into them, these descriptions were fantastic, and I was like, I just I was getting turned on reading those more so than the video himself. It was very interesting. Who do you think they hired to write these? Like where are they getting these writers? Probably just a from Wall Street Journal and stuff like oh yeah, like for masturbating during a meeting on Zoom like journalists like what's his name? Now he's it's like, guys, think I fired. Now he's Jeffrey Tubane. Now Jeffrey Tuban is writing uh descriptions for king dot com. She surrenders her body and biggs, but now he keeps it completely professional, even though he's there of him, even on meetings where it's a jerk off meeting, Yeah, where everyone else's now. He got in trouble the other day for wearing a tie to a a meeting about dressed up. Alright, what's next? Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey sells an n f T which we've heard a lot about, which we know very little about not now learning way more than I want to know about enough t s. I thought I was going to be able to stay to this conversation, but I think I get what they are now. He saw the first tweet for two point nine million dollars, So what does that look like? Is it like a you want to know what his first tweet was? By the way, that's going to blow your mind. That's what two point nine It's not about the tweet, it's about the fact that it's first. But okay, what is it? It's just setting up my Twitter. But he misspelled twitter t w t t R. I mean t W t t R. Oh, he didn't misspell twitter. That was like on purpose, you know. That was the start of that like kind of tumbler to blur the you know, like all those without the vowel kind of things. Yeah, and um, that's like most people's first tweet. It's like I remember mine was like, what is this thing? Two thousand nine or ten? Oh man, what would that sell for? No fucking NFC, no fucking clue. Honestly, the problem is you got to set up like what is it? What do you understand? What it is? An n F T so someone owns that can sell that to digitalmercial or something or like, yeah, it's a digital certificate of an authenticity that confirms an item is real and one of a kind by recording new details on a blockchain digital ledger. Okay, essentially like selling artwork in like the digital space crypto when digital things are so recopiable. I mean, I could just screenshot that first tweet too, What's I mean now if I understand owning it and being able to license it and make money from it. But like and well, compared to like a van Go original was like a tangible thing though, but that you can see the paint strokes, like there's you're like, oh my god, Van Go was in the same room with this. I can't ever be in the same room as Jack Dorsey typing on his computer. Like I think the keyboard he typed that on would probably be more value to me than the tweet itself, like your keyboard right now, and I can't I using it before, and I go, I don't even I can't even imagine what terms are on this thing. Mine's disgusting too, but like yours has got to be. Oh yeah, there's a lot of bad stuff that went on with those keys, especially between the G and H. Wait wait wait, So you think something needs to be tangible for it to be worth something, then how about special comedy special selling like that's not tangible? Well, I understand if someone owns my comedy special, they can license it when people watch it make money from it. Who is who is watching Jack Dorsey's first tweet? Who is bought? Who is it was being licensed? What is the value of it if if not to sell it? I don't understand where it exists that you can just stare at it because I can stare it the same way you can on my computer screen. If you own it, I guess it's just like that's my question. I mean, first of all, to do any of these things, you have to fill out like forms to get bitcoin and ship. So I'm never gonna yeah, you kind of tell me I could make two grand, but to figure out how to buy bitcoin, I just won't. I'd rather just be poor. And your conception of money is really insane. You won't fill out a form for two dollars, but you will spend seventy two and a half seventy five dollars on a shirt that a joke that is not even going to pay off, and you're going to remove for your Instagram with it, Like, how long did it take you to just take that down? It was it after I made fun of it, you looking like you work at a resort. No, it was That's what I like about you, as you'll just take things down, You'll admit that that was a failure, and then I get to make fun of you and be like, ha ha, I was right instead of just like leaving it up for me because I would never look at the likes and be like that didn't even get much. I don't look at your legs. I don't look at likes at all. Actually I know I'm trying not to. But I also like, sometimes i'll post something and it's not even about the likes, and this is just like a state of my mind at that point, which and then my mind later it's like, you're such a cheesy, fucking dumping It's so embarrassing some of the things I put out there that I'm like you, like, what state of mind were you in that you thought this is a good idea? Like it makes me feel crazy sometimes and not trust myself. But we don't have to be stuck to that state of mind, so you just take it down. Who cares, I'm not tired. It's not an n f T or something. Well, speaking of n f T, Craze, a New York City man, sells a year's worth of his fart recordings. Forget this ninety million dollars. Okay, gosh, did you believe? I mean I thought maybe put it up for ninety million dollars. I don't paid that, but someone paid to do that. I mean, that is better than the shirt you bought. At least that is more. That's going to bring more original. I know his farts were, Yeah, those are tom Alex Rameris Molle's originals. Yes, he's kind of making fun of it. D n f T thing. But look, I think when like, you know again, going back to like Picasso or whatever, I'm sure there were a bunch of people when Picasso was selling his ship. They would just scribble on a page and be like, oh or oh, I should sell this for a million dollars. You know what I mean, that's the equivalent to this far guy Picasso is not as I know what you're saying, though, Like guys that just like put a piece of a dot on a canvas and it's yes, yeah, well that was actually he drew it, I think, or did lithograph like there was art behind it. But yes, I get it can be arts too, what's that? I think? Honestly, I would rather buy a year worth of farts all day long, overent of things. I'm not even kidding, but another person's fart is never as good as your own. You're obsessed with mine because talking about it last night, I've never expected your farts to be such a low boys to mend fart, I'm sorry, I never expected it. It's something that I never expected. It was one time. It was the one time by part, and it happened to be a low one. But like you, you have did too. I know I did like eight that that, but I think it sounds like, hey, come on over, let's go. Yeah, your parts are in a sexual black man that has a very low voice who doesn't sing during the songs but just talks. I'm never gonna like, I'm never going to hear my parts the same way again. God damn it, I'm always going to think of you when I fart now till the end the road, dude, how much did you listen to boys? To Men. I mean that one album I did it at all. Come again, really, I just got send you as there or whatever that word is. What what Noah? I said, the album with the song down on Bed and kne Yes, I didn't listen to it at all, know what you did. I loved Boys to Men. Dude, Boys was huge. That's weird because we usually are on the same point with music. You're older than me, Bro Alright, alright, You're like, you know that's that like how many years we got in between us four three and a half. No, that's not true. We have four years in between us, four full years, and um yeah, I just like I that that four years is uh. There are certain things that sometimes I totally miss, like I did not. I am right on the cusp of never having watched Beverly Hills, but I'm fronts with so many people Beverly Hills nine two when I was like such a part of their growing up. But for me, it was just I missed it completely. I was a child. But it is wild how many songs I know and you know that we memorized and I don't remember that when you're going to take me out of this that other night, I put that on and we couldn't believe it. We know that Jeremy, are not you? Better Man by Pearl Jam? I learned Better Man by Pearl Jam just in the past year. Really. Oh yeah, I mean I've always known it, but I never knew the lyrics like he was and says she's in love with him? Yeah, the beginning of that. That that first, like watching the clock it's for four o'clock. That song, oh a r. We we know a lot of the words, the Bob Dylan song. I mean, we could keep going forever about the songs that we both know. But yes, you're right, there's certain songs that are very much our generation was like obsessed with the other day. I know, way you had mentioned the song Sexual Healing, and I looked up the Ben Harper version because I got into the Ben Harper version before the Marvin Gay version because it just for some reason, it just like got very trendy when I was in high school, this live Ben Harper version, and then I got into the Marvin Gay. But you know, you go, wait, why do I know the song? Like I love this song? And I was like because we for some reason, I had a resurgence from like the hippie community, like the Winter it came from a movie. Sometimes I think maybe it came from a movie tapes all of us DMB heads. Anyway, let's get to the next story. Okay, next story, Uh, toilet. This one's gonna hit close to home for me. But the toilet invading iguanas among invasive species now banned in Florida. Okay, why are they toilet invading? Well, so what will happen is they'll climb, They'll they'll dig underneath your house and get into sewer and then they'll end inside your shipter just hanging out and thrashing around. A poor things. There's a lot of aguan us here in the Caymans. They're like squirrels. As my friend, I don't see a lot. I haven't. It's funny they have like iguana crossing signs like non. They're not trying to be funny. It's like watch out for iguanas, and there have been none. I thought I was gonna see them everywhere, and it's some kind of climate change thing or they like have eradicated them a little bit or something because they were kind of invasive. But it's yeah, dying to see one. Um so they're banned in Florida, so they're people are bringing them in? Are they like exotic pets? So I think that's how this started in the sixties. They brought someone when there was you know, the iguanas, someone brought him in. They have him as pets. And it's not just the iguanas, it's it's snakes, Burmese pythons, all that ship. They don't want them anymore because they're ruining the everglades. What I assume happens is someone buys a snake. This thing gets to nineteen feet and they're like, I live in a in a studio, Like I don't even have room for me, Go throw it in the everglades. Yeah, we had a snake growing up my family. My brother bought a Burmese snake, a Burmese python snake, and he went to college when it was like, I don't know, three ft and this thing's gonna get to fifteen ft, he just left the snakes a snake behind. I mean, so what became of it? Did you let it out? It died? Pretty like do you know what happened with the hermit crabs? With you? Like, I think I don't want to point any fingers, but I think someone stopped feeding it. And um, I don't want to point any fingers though, but watching that thing kill a mouse, what a rush? What a rush? I know. But my drugular neighbors shot a bullet into our house and the bullet went through the snake. Um. I don't know if I ever told you yet. It killed No, it didn't kill the snake, but it went through the snake cage or the snake. Um, what's you call it? Whatever? Yeah, like through the glass and yeah, just a little right through. And uh, I know it's like the most florid story ever, but yeah, you know, the most lord story ever is when you got caught speeding on a jet ski to man Zone. Yes, yes, they and you have a mug shot from it. Yeah, if you go to mugshot dot com, do this story. Because you're scared of lizards, and I think that's a hilarious fear. I'm afraid to pick up a lizard, no matter how small it is. Smaller, but more scared I am growing up in Florida, man, Like you would think you would, uh, you would like lizards more because they're around so much, you know, Like I would assume there's something in St. Louis a lot an animal that you wouldn't maybe hold more than I don't know. I'm just doing so. A lot of kids would pick up lizar kidding and put them on your ears knolls. Yeah, little chameleons, and I just never I never get what they do to you. Nothing. You're scared of the cat that wonders in here sometimes too, like your your fear of animals that can't hurt you are it's it's it's weird to me because you're also you're not scared of certain but I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of like things that could maybe hurt you. I know many people, most peoples are kind and gentle, but yeah, I just irrational fears bug me, agreed. And that's like when I'm afraid of AIDS, but then I have cancer as polyps in my asshole that you don't get looked at. I don't even think about them, but you'll like chew off your hand being nervous that that you got AIDS because you made out with a girl who Yeah, my fear is my fear of lizards and my asshole is irrational. Fears are not about lizards your irrational fear, and I'm mad at yours because I get mad at mine. But I tried to I guess your number one is the driving one. Yeah, that's not irrational. There's nothing irrational about that. Two lane highways where people go more than fifty miles per hour. There are many more fatalities, especially with texting and driving, where if you turn the steering wheel two inches you have a head on collision going at fifty miles per hour each each direction. That's a very real fear. Let's move on. Why would I care? Um, okay, why would you care? Nikki about this story. Anna Faris tells Gwyneth Paltrow that she had competitive and comparison in her marriage with Chris Pratt. I would care about that because I did Anna Harris's podcast, and she's a lovely woman and I like her a lot. Uh. We had a great talk. And I was also always fascinated by their relationship because they got together before he was like the Chris Pratt that we know now. And it's just interesting that two people who do the same thing for a profession being in a romantic relationship. I think that's just unavoidable that there's going to be competition, um, and I don't know how people make it work, and so I guess it doesn't work. I mean, he went from the chubby guy on Community to the biggest hard throb on the biggest movie in the world, and at the time she was probably bigger than him when they first got and she arguably, I mean, she's a huge star still and as you know, made probably as much money from doing Mom and whatever other shows she's been on as he has a movie or close to it. I mean, she's she's probably made a ton. But Um, as someone who wants to be in a relationship with someone in the business, I don't think I can be with someone who is in front of the camera because of how jealous I get and of how jealous they will get. I mean, to be in this business and want to be a star, you have to be um, you have to be insecure, and insecurity breeds jealousy. And it's just I don't think I have to get to a much better place, and I I think I'd be better with it than my partner. But I feel like most men in this business, uh that are drawn to wanting to be famous can't handle other people being more famous than them. Yeah, it's hard for me to talk to you right now. You're not like that, but I am a little bit. I mean, I just like, I don't know. I set expectations low, yeah, and I don't reach. I'm getting better about it, but I would have to enter into a relationship where they're already such a bigger star than me that I would never That's what I'm saying. So if someone if you went into a relationship with someone that was beneath you and then next to you know, they're fucking skyrock, how do you feel? Huh? It might bug me, but I would hope it wouldn't. But I don't know that I've done enough work on myself that I wouldn't. All right, that's the news, and let's care. Do we care? I do care because it's just a story. Um, and I'd like to export more, but we don't have time because we got to get to game changer. Game changer is where we share something that has changed our lives that we recommend for you to check out. My game changer is breakfast. I did not eat breakfast for probably the past eighteen years of my life, and it was because I thought that you know, I ate so much last night, I don't want to. I'm just gonna eat as much today. If I'm not that I'm not that hungry in the morning, I should just skip it. And about a year ago, I started my like eating was getting out of control in terms of like starving myself all day and binging at night. So I started eating breakfast, which is really hard to do, especially after you have because you have to just start one day and you've binged the night before, so you're not even hungry in the morning. But I just started. And now I don't binge at night anymore because I start eating in the morning and throughout my day and I don't. I'm not as obsessed with food throughout the day, and I'm not like thinking about food and irritated because I can't wait for this thing to be over so I can go home and eat or be alone with food or like, oh, like you know, when you're starving, all you're thinking about is like when can I get food? And when you only allow yourself to eat at a certain time of day or alone or do your weird behavior, it affects your entire day. And because I wake up every morning and I have two bowls of oatmeal with protein powder that is a very filling, like six hundred calorie breakfast, which, by the way you used to I would not eat a hundred and fifty calorie breakfast. That would have made me feel guilty in the past. So starting out my day with six hundred calories every morning, no matter what, and not having gained a single pound from it this year, and having come from um, you know, binging every night, like thousands of calories every night, and being able to also incorporate a six hundred calorie breakfast every day, and then that tapering off as I learned how to eat more normally, not having seen any side effects. And I didn't up my I didn't up my running. I actually started working out way less. I don't work out as much anymore. I'm not as obsessed with food anymore. And it's all due to having three meals a day. But really most importantly was was breakfast, because that was the biggest struggle. But I have had two bowls of oatmeal for a year now, every single morning, no matter what UM and when I can't get omeal, I have like a you know, a couple of protein bars or whatever I can do on the go, but plain oatmeal to Stevia, lots of water, our phone is ringing, and two scoops of protein scoop per bowl of oatmeal. Heat it up for two minutes. You guys. It's so freaking good, and I got Andrew hooked on it. So chocolate protein powder, that's what I do. And then you can add like varieties of oatmeal that are different flavors. So that's my game changer. That's what I would like to share with you. Um, Andrew, what's your game changer? So it's got to be this oh god here, I mean, I never thought I was gonna was one of these in my life. No, honestly, I love. I've been copying you a lot, like to the point where it's like starting to weird me out of like town town to Mr Ripple leg I copied your breakfast, and I apologize. But now used to be a thing in the past where like you didn't love when I would get the same coffee as you, Like you're like, why you gotta get a misto? I that's my thing, Yeah, get it. We can't both get chicken palms at the restaurant. But I've been copying your breakfast and it is a great baby. Not to promote oatmeal more. But if you're like like not lazy, but you don't love to cook and like cooking eggs, you gotta clean like three different oatmeal is some like like protein and some like chocolate e sugary goodness, um that you know a low sugar protein. I use orgain, not an ad um, great bass delicious and yeah, I used to get your taped. What do you would eat the same thing as me? Because I always I'm someone who's like comes from an antorectic background. I always want to eat less than everyone. So when you eat the same as me, it's like it's a boy eating the same as me. I feel like, oh I must be eating like a boy. I'm so fat. But now I literally eat more for you for breakfast every single day, and I don't give up. Fuck yeah, I just don't care. I mean, I've been judging it a lot. Yeah, well it's not about you judging. But yeah, no, I I and uh, but I guess my game changer. Mostly it's exercise for me. Uh For a long time, I don't know what it was. I had. UM very adverse reaction to exercising is that the right way to say. I don't know. I would get like heart, you would get like anxiety. I would get very tired after the day after working out, to the point where I would avoid it and I ignore it, and so much of it was mental, and you would tell me it was mental. But you know when things are physical, and even if because they're mental, you can't, no matter if someone tells you that you have to come to that realization yourself, you can't. You can't get it to go away unless you believe it's mental too. Yes, exactly, just hard to do when you're having a physical reaction, which is does not mean that it's not actually physical, but it's coming from your anxiety. And what I've noticed with my exercise and I don't know if people like I thought it was like a new thing, he's hit exercises, h I I t instead of like doing like heavy weights and like getting like I don't know, their workouts you can do at home, and they really like if you have a d D like I do, they switch up like every day, like just running monotonous is too hard for me. So I don't know, I like doing these workouts and it makes the rest of my day better, Like, dude, I'm so much more at ease, and I I know a lot of people. I know it's no no, but it's very so hard to exercise if it just makes you feel better, Like, why is it? I mean, I'm really asked well, I mean I explained it like I was having I was not getting positive results from working out. I was feeling worse. How did you get over that? Though we don't have an answer to that. Potentially, I feel like Zoe Lofster game changer? What do you have a game changer? Thanks for telling me what mine is? You let me have my game changer. Yeah, go over there, find your shell necklace and take yours ol offt. I think I think people um like subconsciously are like have a fear of success. And I think that plays into why we don't work out, why we don't do positive things for ourselves because we're um we like fee like fear success. I can't explain it, but once you get over it, and antidepressants have helped me with that too, it just kind of like breaks that that wall that you put up between you and something successful. Yes, let's move into final thought because that actually brings me perfectly into mine final thought of the day where we kind of just say something that maybe we wanted to get to and to get a chance to as quickly as possible. There's a great Reddit video about conquering fear. Are you okay? No, it looks okay. Anyways, thank you. There's a great Reddit video about conquering fear um that I saw last night. It's this little boy who has autism who is uh scared of cold water, and his dad is in the bathtub trying to get him to He's probably like seven or eight, the boy, and he's just terrified of the cold water and his dad is like and he's like, Dad, I don't want to get in the dance in the bathtub. And he's like I don't want to get in and I don't want to. I just related to it so much of having this like crazy fear that like makes you feel such like a baby because you're scared of this thing like bathwater, you know. And the kid is like just so scared to say. I goes, you know what, this is a lesson. He goes, we have to do this. You have to do this because there are things were scared of and you have to face them. And it's going to teach you that fear you can overcome feared. It was just the cutest lesson the kid. Like it was a five minute video and I don't cry, but I was real close to it on this. It was so adorable just seeing a dad so compassionate, so you know, still stern and making his force like helping his son like do something you didn't want to do, but at the same time like I'll no, I'll send it to you so we can or I'll put it up on my Instagram for you guys to see tonight. But the video is just so sweet and inspirational and it's if you want to look it up. It's a dad, um teaching his son to get out of the bathtub or to get into the bathtub, and the mom is filming it, and people are like, why is the mom filming it? It's like this is uh. He does a YouTube channel the dad does to like for parents of kids with autism, to like, you know, trek. I I don't really know what it's like a diary of like what it's like too for other parents, because it's such like a tricky, complicated thing. Um, but it's just the sweetest video, and I wanted to share that. Yeah, no, I it makes me think of when my dad would make me eat my peas. I know I was thinking, like I was actually watched it and I was like, I bet he'll get emotional because I wonder if his dad ever did. No, I don't think. I don't I don't do it. I know you're scared, but you can do it. I don't remember and that at all. I mean I remember I didn't eat my peas on my plate and he'd be like, eat your eat your Like I just remember eating everything set the peas. Did you ever do that as a kid? Eat around the vet? Well, you like veggies, but as a kid, I wouldn't go and I didn't eat a vegetable for prior to first. Yeah, my parents didn't acknowledge the fear of like, I understand, you're scared and things are scary in life, what we have to do scary things. It was more like, that's what are you talking about? You're that's stupid, And then like and now I have the voice of that gentle parent in my head. For myself, I've learned and my parents weren't mean, they just didn't understand empathy. Really, that's exactly how I feel, the same exact way where it was like it was like they were frustrated, where it's like, how could you be afraid of this? Yeah? Sometimes yeah, yeah, I just still do. I mean, I I don't understand why you're scared of lizards, and I'm mad at you for it, And I would not be like that. Dad. Actually, go get in the bathtub right now, and I have a lizard crawl up through the pipe, and I'll hold your hand and and and make you eat peas. All right, that's the show today, guys. We'll be here tomorrow. Thank you for listening, as always, subscribe, as always. I've said as always, like because people say that, but I haven't said as I haven't said it enough to say as always at the end of the day, Nikki, Oh my god, we're we're on a TV show where people keep saying at the end of the day, and also for what it's worth and first and foremost, first and foremost, so first and foremost, and for what it's worth at the end of the day, we gotta oh, all right, we'll see tomorrow, guys, rate reviews, subscribe, all those things, spread the word. Thanks for listening. Well, we're gonna be doing this a while and I'm excited. Have a great day, night, morning, whatever, whatever,