Nikki is making the rounds on E!'s Daily and Nightly Pop in Los Angeles. Andrew fills her in on his night opening for David Spade, a joke that didn't land the way he thought and a scandal that involved Nikki's parents backstage. Since Nikki missed the red carpet at the Grammy's, Andrew and Noa give her another chance to answer reporters. You Heard It Here First, don't charge a corporate card unless Andrew is your boss, it's safe to return your library book in NY and Nikki does care about Camila Cabello's feelings. In Reddit Dump, Nikki shares a video of a retail employee that made her laugh, a wart story that gave her a giggle and her new fascination with Tyler Henry.
The Nicky Glazer past Gazers. Nicky, Hello here, I am Welcome to the Show with the Nicki Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicky Glazer. I'm in Los Angeles. That's Andrew Colin. He's in St. Louis. He looks like he's meditating because this camera's frozen. To me, he looks like he is, indeed, but he looks like he's about to self emoliate, like one of those monks who lights himself on fire. That he looks like he's in that pose. And then uh Noah, of course is in Arizona. How are you guys doing today? Are our Monday episode was done on Friday, so I haven't talked to you guys kind of all weekend. Uh, weekend was good? Um, how is open for David? You mean how he ended for me? Yeah? How was? Uh? Yeah? How was just clearing the way for David Spade to just come in and do a closing set after your ten minutes? Um? You know reverse headline? Well it was, it went well. I think I'll give myself a B. It's funny beforehand and texting exchange when you don't know a bigger comedian you don't know, Uh, the etiquette of whether to joke right away to be too jokey through text, And he wrote me He's like, yeah, I'll let you know I'm about to go on stage about dinner tomorrow, blah blah. And I was like, yeah, you know, break the audience's legs, like just a quick little quip, like a twist on break your way. Oh, I see what you were doing there. Wow, you're really turning that joke on its head. So did you think before you said that though, Like was that just the first thing you thought of, or was that a little bit did you like running by Brenna? Did you run it by any one? I obviously didn't run it by anyone except for my putter because I was on the putting green and I was just like, this will be a silly little quip and radio I'm off the show. Honestly, Break the audiences uh legs is like something that It's so funny because men when they text celebrities is like the way women are when they're texting men, like we overthink it. Like that's what I would write David Spade if I was trying to flirt with him, if I was like a girl is like and I didn't know about stand up. I'd be like, what what is I don't want to say like break a leg because that's like so like lame. I don't want to say like have a good set because like that's too generic, Like I want to like that is like exactly what I would write if I was like nervous to talk to a comedian and I didn't do a thousand percent that break the audience is like, So then I go, I should have just wrote have a good show where it sounds good, sounds good. I'm off the show, Oh my god. But then the next day he goes to as you know, audio text and I'm like, okay, I'm reading it all wrong. And we had a great exchange before this show, back and forth, just voice, you know. He goes, you know, I know you're just opening for me, but you're not the opener. You're just a comedian on the show. I know that. I go, look, I have no ego in this. I'm your opener. But if I could do a short Q and A towards the end of year, said and come back and we could cross promote, that'd be great, just fun. I got myself back. I thought I was doing a good job the audiences legs together and you did like a call back to you. I just love how don't You're one of the funniest people ever. But break the audiences Legs is just so just it's just not your best work, but it's so funny because it almost is your bust sword because it's so bad, like it's something. It's just that's what I was going for. I really was. I really was. I was like, I hope he sees that I'm that's what your aunt with Sadie. I don't know if he did, like how you know what they usually say, break a leg, but I'm saying break the audiences leg Yeah. He's a big voice voice uh noter and I like those. I like those. It's fun and I um, it's so funny, like you talk about trying to be like cool on text, like I'm one to talk, like when literally I'm one to talk because when I do a voice momo back to him, I will do them like sometimes four times in a row, and I'll like recreate spun seemingly the things that happened that were spontaneous in the moment, Like I'll like, it's just so because I wanted to be funny and charming, and and then and then I just realized, like he likes me for me, not because I'm really super quirky, you know, like he just likes I realized my friendship with him UM is really based on me just getting a huge kick out of him. Like he enjoys me because I'm a good laugher and like he doesn't he has I'm not like the the I'm nowhere as near as quick as him. I never will be UM, And I just have a better time setting him up and like celebrating how funny he is. So it's like kind of just a relationship where I go like, what about this joke you do? And this joke and like like I just reference stuff he does all the time and he gets a kick out of it, whereas if someone references jokes I do, I'm like, please don't remind me of how lame that was. Oh my god, Oh my god. So I have such a funny story though. So then we do the show. You know, uh, it went great the interactions in the green room, although I didn't I don't think I seem too thirsty whatever, Like I honestly think show went great. I watched his set. He did great. Whatever fun is he? Um, he's very funny. He did very well at the crab story. Have you seen this yet? Oh my god, My my parents also talked to me about the crab thing, and I'm like, you mean the crab in the cabinet and the crab room and there's at least like four thousand crabs per room at minimum, and how crabs are just spiders with good pr Like I have David Smith's set memorized, like I'm obsessed with the crab bet. It's from what he was doing Bachelor Paradise and he was hosting down there and and like there were so many crabs in his room. They just like and they were there's so many that they gave him a crab room that they were like, oh, he needs a crab room, and so they like brought him a room that was specific ro crabs. Is so funny. And then he got they gave him a special bed. He's like, they just climbed ninety up the wall and stairs. I don't think the bed is kind of that's a great point. So so then he's like, you know, your parents were there, so they come backstage and you know you could you kind of tell that he, you know, didn't want that many people back there. But he's like, yeah, no, it's all great. Nicky's parents and you know, your mom and your dad, you know, they're great. They're all but uh, they're like, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna get out of your hair, like we know, like you know, the was it before and after after the show? Yeah? And so then your mom goes, so they say that, and then two seconds later, your mom goes, is that vodka? No? Can I grab some va? Oh? No? So she had had a couple of drinks. We're dealing with or dealing with a little a little okay, okay, which is the best lazer agree with you people who care about her and might disagree with you, Okay. But she so she grabs the vodka. She starts, you know, instagramming on our account. Let's keep going. Was was Spade given her ship? Was he just? Oh my god? She was dancing? No? No? So then she she she bakes it with diet coke. She goes, who does this? He goes, that's my drink? He goes, whoa David Space? I never thought to do? Like it was like someone landed on the mars. You mix this with diet coke. Oh, well, David does it. I'm doing it. I'll try it. No, you don't do that, you too diet coke. A well, I knew I liked you. I knew I liked him, just like, oh god, He's like, can I go back to the Double Tree and like just sit alone in my sad hotel room? Anything but being around this woman. You're nailing this. So you're nailing this so hard. So then there's a cake there with leaves that you can eat. Yea, they made him like a cake because he has a bit about leaves or something. Yeah, oh god, he goes, all right, I'm gonna get out of here. And you're not taking this. You're not gonna take this cake. They made this beautiful cake for you. You don't think in the vodka and you're not taking the vodka. Well, I'm just do you want me to take it? I'm just kidding, just kid, Oh god, I mean I could do the whole thing. You don't even need to tell me what happened. Let me guess. She drank the vodka, she ate the cake, and then she left her phone there all weekend long because she couldn't get she did. She left her phone there all weekend long at this theater venue and was texting me from my dad's phone all weekend long. Is that what happened? Yes, there's only you're you're you're on fire. But there is one other thing that happened. She took the She didn't eat the cake. She took. She had a box stop she took. These leaves are beautiful. I'm taking these leaves. You can't. No one's take these. I'll take him. No one's gonna eat this cake. I'll take the goddamn leaves. Now, this is a lot of work with into these. You know how much this cake probably was. She's googling it, how much our little leaf cake leaves? I bet those. I bet those our fifteen bucks apiece. What is she doing with these leaves? Oh my god, So your nephew is having a birthday and she's going to study the leaves and recreate them, or she's going to Yes, she's going to use them. He's using David Spaide's leaves on Arlow's cake. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing surprising about this. What do they fond it? I'm sure they'll probably be good by that Arlow's birthdays in a couple of days. It makes total sense. I like this move. Now, you know what I like because I bet that cake would have just gone to waste. And now she's gonna get some. She'll be like, Arlo, you can eat things, and then I'll die of food poisoning. And you know, it'll be his last birthday, but it will be the one that he you know, we all remember. Um Jesus Christ. I mean, I go, she goes, I'm making a cake for our like, go, what the hell did he sell out? Oh my god? So then so then because he would make a special cake sold out David Spade, And then so then, um, the basketball games on your dad has like he's gonna win like a couple hundred bucks if ye ended a basketball game, I'll watch the Jewels juels. Will you just sit down? Okay? Alright? Is that my dad? Am I nailing my dad? Yes? And then they kick us out before with five seconds left in the game, they're like, you guys gotta get it's ten o'clock. Like David left an hour ago. Oh my god. So embarrassing, like his like his entourage, who he didn't even ask for, are like shutting the place down and making it so like the union workers are going to get like time and a half for overtime because they have to stay so they can shut down. After my mom has stolen David Spade's cake, I mean, welcome home, Nikias, coming to may One. Just the leaves, I'm taking these? Are you kidding me? E J? Shut up? I'm taking him. He's shut up, I'm taking him. He saysn't care. Nicky wouldn't care, and then she leaves her phone there all weekend. It's collateral. I mean the weekend. I mean my weekend was I missed. I missed that because I had to go to Vegas to do the Grammy's yesterday on Sunday, And you know, I was there at like ten thirty in the morning to do the pre show for the like lead up to the Red Carpet, the count down to the Red Carpet, and it ended up really fun, Yeah, the pre priest. So it was like, I but I got to go to the Red carpet. So we were broadcasting across the way like a mile, which is like in Vegas times, it tastes like forty five minutes to get from the you know the um, the Grammys and the Red Carpet were at the MGM Grand and we were on top of a parking garage above an eminem st war And that is true. We were on the top of this like ten story parking garage on the very top, the open top, and we're like in a parking lot with this a massive setup and we did you know. Um, I went first. I went to the Grammys like just to go on the Red carpet to get some pictures because I got styled and I paid a lot of money to get styled, and I had it like a really expensive jewelry and like a told Glam team and I looked great and so but it was just funny. They're like still laying down the red carpet like as I'm walking on it, like doesn't it's it's me and like the guys who are like constructing it. And I woke up at the crack down. Grab the end there, yeah, grab the corner. It was so early. I was there at ten thirty and for like an evening Grammys and then so and they have the Glam Boat, which is this like weird robot arm that kind of like goes goes really fast like zoom, like you go okay action and then it goes room and then it as a slow motion so you look like it's all those like super glamorous shots. And it was like it just sucked because I was supposed to initially wear this. So I got fitted the day before. I flew into Vegas on Saturday so I could do a fitting and go to rehearsal for the Sunday show. That's why I missed the Spade show. And um, i uh I. I had this great outfit picked up. It was like this pink skirt with like all these like sequence that was awesome, and then like this really fairly like laced like black top and like my stylis and I like all loved it. And then they were like, hey, um, the seam on that looks a little too like short, and we're worried about you sitting. And I was like, oh, it's easily fixable. I could just flip it to the other side because it's like you can twist the stress, so that's not a problem. I just knew there was some other problem, Like I could tell like that was just an excuse to give me because they're like, we just don't like it, you know, like they don't want to say that and um, and so then I could tell like they were like okay, great, they were just like quiet, and I was like, they're coming up with another reason why I can't wear it, which is not the real Like I never found out why they didn't want me to wear it, because they kept coming up with like different excuses of like we just need a more elevated look. I mean I think it was like it wasn't dressy enough, and so then they had me put on this other thing that it was like my second choice, which was like the one that you saw, which was the silver like really tight dress. But the problem was like the same problem I had on Dancing with the Stars, Like I was just from all this travel and like lack of sleep. I was just backed up and like had not done like a number two and like so long. And when you have that like and you're wearing a skin tight dress like sucking in, it's just like you have you can't suck in all the way. It just looks you can't. So it's just the glambot of me. I look pregnant and I just couldn't. I was so annoyed, like I couldn't get myself to poop beforehand, even though I I still have it, Like I it's just so weird when you know you haven't pooped in so long and all the food you have eaten it's just sitting inside of you. And it's just like I just I just hated that I had to wear something that was so skin tight when I was just so not um like it ended up no, No, it was like completely, I was like, I understand underwear. Yeah, I wore a thong that was like seamless, you know, but it was just like it wasn't Thankfully, I was out of it by I was done at like a like twelve, and so I was done for the whole day and I flew back to Los Angeles. I missed the Grammys because I was like on a delayed flight going back or going to l A. Because I'm here all week doing daily and nightly pop. Like I had to wake up this morning. I had to wake up this morning all week at like I think it's at six, and then I go we go live at eight to nine, and then from ten to eleven we do nightly pop. It's like I'm doing two hours of a talk show every day. It's a lot. It's a lot, Like I don't know what I agreed to, but it is a lot, and like I also agreed to do. I mean, obviously I'm doing this podcast and then I'm also doing more podcasts that are just only l A based, So I'm gonna slowly be losing my mind this week, I think. And I just got a poop and it's so weird because like I am not normally someone who talks about like I have to poop, Like I'm not usually someone who just is like gross around people. But for some reason last time yesterday, I couldn't stop being like I wish I would have. People would be like you look great, and I'm like I should have pooped before, Like it was so gross, Like I was just like, who am I? I Am not this girl that's like I have to diarrhea, Like I'm not someone who's constantly talking about poop, Like I actually really grossed out when people like overshare that much. But I was that girl yesterday. But I think it was because I was so nervous to be around like the fashion elite, like people who like know so much about fashion and like care so much about celebrities, and like I just felt like I was not. I was just felt like I was an impostor there. So I was like, Okay, I'll just go super into being the opposite of this, because I can never be as stylish as all of you and like know as much about ball men and like Javonche and like Balenciaga and like boucles and like all the things they were talking talking about. I mean, this was a red carpet, so I think I just I was like, who are you that you're talking about how you haven't pooped? It was like, really, do you ever have those moments where you're just like, why did I just tell David Spade that? Like I hope that he breaks the audiences lest it was one of those moments where I was like, what does happened to me? When? When did I become the I got to poop woman? Like that is not who I am and it's not who I want to be. You know what, though, on a show like the Grammys and it's fucking elegant, it's funny, then it is. It was. It wasn't like on camera, it was like, no, it was not good. I think I really was That's what I do. I try to like make myself disgusting so that like people don't even think I'm trying to be like them, because I know I'll never be like them. I think it was that Andrew and I have a surprise for you after the break. Oh, you have a surprise to me after this break? Yeah, all right, Nikki, stay too. Your mom's David Spade's cake. Andrew coming in now? All right, all right, we're back from break. What is my special gift surprise? Well, since you didn't really get to enjoy the Grammys, Andrew and I are going to host the post Post Free Priet Red Carpet Award Show. Oh my god, what are what is going on? Yes? Yes, I'm here? Yes, who who are you wearing? And what was the process of getting ready for the red carpet? Look like what you're here? Okay? Well, I was wearing a nineteen seventies vintage dressed by um someone name who's an Italian designer. That's really long and I forgot it already, but it was from the ninet No, I I was actually I was telling people that it was my wet seal because I looked like a wet seal and my necklace finis R and I Yeah, Oh my god, I love that. Also wearing a ring that I can't get off my fucking finger from the season finale of Perfect Strangers to Nicky, Nicky, you look No, that's me me, Nicki, Nicki, you look exquisite. Your style is Danny and Emma. Total pros is in your purse? Um in my purse is to or gain vegan protein bars in case I get a little bit hungry before twelve o'clock when I'm wrapped. Also is my phone and also some lip gloss and my hotel key. I wish I had a better answer for that. That's kind of all their won What the people want to know? Oh my god, Nicky, Nicky, can I get your Can I get a minute or ten or something? Do you the homeless man? Oh my god? So yeah, Hi? How are you? Do you hold my sandwich? Who's your sandwich? By? That's all? My sandwich is my subway? Oh my god, it's my Dame Tomato old cheese, and have a turkey fund. Okay, what was your artist that you really wanted to meet? H was Lady Gaga wearing those cold cuts? Uh? Five years ago? I think I recognize them cool cuts. Uh No, I'm sorry a little uh producer there. I don't know why I called you a little producer less music. No, it's fine. Um, this is such a buzzy red carbon I can barely hear you guys, so um no, it's still us. Who who was at the Grammys that you really wanted to meet? And who do you want? Like? Who are you going to meet later? Oh my gosh, I am not going to meet anyone later because I actually have to catch a flight at three o'clock and I couldn't get tickets to the Grammys and we were actually broadcasting so far from them that there was no chance I would get close at all. I only saw a bunch of queens from RuPaul's Drag Race who were also on the red carpet super early with me, and they all were like saying things like, oh my god, girl, work it. You look amazing, And it was really just uh that that was so that made me feel really good. And um, when I'm most excited about for the Grammys that aired last night or two nights ago, because this is Tuesday's episode, is um Olivia red Rigo winning and singing a driver's license. I was really excited about seeing Taylor Swift maybe show up, but she didn't because she's only nominated for one UM and I can't wait to see uh uh that that one song win for everything? The Anderson Park and uh Bruno mar Our song and what do they go by? Like song sound? I saw that the winners thing Supersonic. I saw them like win everything, and I'm silk Sonic. Supersonic is like a different band that's saying, like what do they say Supersonic? They were like a nineties band kind of with like three Doors down and like six um. I when I saw that they won everything, I was just like, who is super Soon? I was like, is this a new band that I've never heard of? And of course it's It's I didn't know they went by that name? Who when did that happen? And do you always know the difference between best uh best record and song of the year and record and album of the year, because record to me is an album, but really record and song of the Year are almost very similar. A record is is a singular song and it's more about like the recording of it. The gas is about recording is the singer? Yes, but I was literally recording of the year and not record record equals Like, hey, you're gonna go listen to some records. That's not like because it wrong about the year. It's it's record of the year recorded a year. There's no way. Well, no one's saying it like that. You always knew that it was not a record, it was record of the year. I mean, look when you go to the actual Grammys and like what you did, that's what you learned. I kept wanting to see horn and where I was like where I said that the Grammys was short for grandmother's. Like why is it why the Grammys has to be short for something like grammophone. Oh yeah, that's it, because they're like little grandmophones. Okay, that all makes sense. Like why are why aren't the Academy Awards called like the Atys or the o Skies and the Emmys? Is that Emily's Emily? No, it's short for amaphone. Let's get to the news. That was fun, you guys, hey man, thanks for taking Thanks for stopping for us. Yeah, thanks for taking our questions. Oh yeah, anytime, you guys. I gotta get in there. Um, I have somewhere to be and that somewhere is getting in line for myself West flight, I'm a B thirty six and pretty excited about it. B thirty six is also what I uh, if it would have been twenty three, that would be better joke off saying like that's what most people are. I was gonna say, like guys are thinking when they find out that they're not. I don't know better joke. I'm tired. Okay, let's get to the news. Why don't you be be twenty three and have Yes, there we go. Oh, it's Tuesday, folks. You know what It's Tuesday. You know what that means. It is Tuesday. Um, I hope you're having all the swells out there. I don't know if you've heard about this, but it's record it is. I mean, it's wild if that is it, and we've been saying it wrong all these times. One of the news headlines today Noah, all right, well, uh, this story, just a quick caveat, is not about any of Andrew's friends. Three Deutsche Bank executives Investment, a German investment banking firm, got fired after charging a strip club visit to the company. The bank, however, did not fire the lone truth teller. Oh wow, so there were four and one of them ratted the others out and the three got fired. Is that what? Yes? Okay, Andrews shaking his head. Andrew, you you think snitches get bitches at the club? Let's go on here. Yeah, you know what. I relate to this this weekend I checked in. No, I relate to like charging something because you're like, oh, the company's card is down. So like he put me up in the hotel this weekend at for the Grammys at UM the Park MGM, and I didn't have to put down a credit card for incidental so that was like, okay, cool. They're like gonna let me have waters in my mini bar like stuff like that, Like that'll be nice. And then I went and got a facial and I'm like they owe me this, you know, like I'm doing all this press for them, and like I deserve this, and like I'm just gonna charge it to the room. And then I was like I want this Grammy hat that was in the like the gift shop. I'm like, I deserve this because I'm doing this. And I was like and I really like worked myself into thinking like I deserve these things and like he has to, like they should just give them to me, and like, and I convinced myself, yeah, I'm gonna do that. And then I was in the middle of the facial, and I was like, who the funk do you think you are? That is stealing? No one said that you could do that. They were nice enough to like put their card down. They're paying for your hotel. This wasn't part of the deal. If you want them to give you a facial, you can ask for one and see if they cover it, but you don't get to just like assume. And so I did the right thing, and I after I got the facial, I let my you know, contacted EO, like, hey, I got a facial, Please figure out how I can reimburse you guys for it, because it was a confusion with my card. So I did give them my card, but it like wouldn't load, so I was like, oh, just put it on the room. But then I, you know, I worked myself into thinking like they they'll get it, and like, you know, it wasn't even about like I'm gonna take advantage of them because they owe me. It was more like I can think and they're rich and it's like, you know what, it doesn't matter, it's still stealing. It's like, that's not that's not okay. And I did not get the creamy. What what annoys me is when there's a snitch and then the bank goes, oh my god, what's happening. We got a fire and ruined these people's lives. Everyone's been buying pussy on corporate cards for the last seven That doesn't make it right. It's not, it's no, but it's just part of business. Man, Like you don't I know, but like what do you mean by that? Oh? And their own money on it, that's the part of you're like, that's not a business expense. I mean, I would could argue that a facial is going to make me look better and feel better on there, and I guess I could say, oh, yeah, pussy would also make me feel better and do better at my job. But like what yeah, look no, but if they're taking out, look here's the difference. If they have clients, look, lady, well, that's definitely then there's entertainment budget. Right, But this this wasn't the situation. If that was a situation, and it would be a whole different story. That's not. You have a budget for entertaining, and I'm sure pussy can be part of that budget. This was This was guys just using the company car. Here's a twist. There's a There is a twist because the restaurant that they would give a facial they'll be better in the morning. But the restaurant they went to doubles up as a steakhouse, so it's basically a steakhouse where you can buy. It's called Sapphire in New York. Oh, they could act like it was for a dinner and then it's really strippers. Yeah, it's like saying it's like calling your bar the library and being like they have to go to the library. It's like we we come on. Um. Yeah, I'm just tired of people. It's just dishonesty. And I don't think this. I don't like the snitch. I mean that's never a good look, but like, I really do feel like we need to call out bad behavior. I just thought it was very interesting. I'm such a like, I feel like I'm a really honest person and I don't I used to shoplift like back in the day, but I do not like to take advantage of even if I'm like, oh, they're rich, they can afford it, or like let's go wild, Like I don't like to just just because someone can afford something doesn't mean they should, like you should waste their money on whatever you want, because like there's a reason that, like I don't know, it's just it's just dishonest. Um. But it was weird that I could talk myself into thinking I deserved it, Like I just you know, you can anything you want to do. You can really create a scenario where it's like, no, I'm doing the right thing. And I'm so glad that I had time to think during my facial and realize, like, this is not the person I want to be. And honestly, it would have weighed on me so much knowing that, you know, I probably could have gotten away with it and they're probably gonna give it to me because she was like, don't worry about it, but I was like, no, I really please follow up, like I want to find a way to reimburse you, because that was that was that was on me. So um, yeah, it was just it was it was me kind of like trying to get away with something. It's like when your mom took the leaves. You know, it's like those weren't hers, Like what is she doing? Yeah, but David was leaving him behind. I mean I think that that's okay. No, your mom could get leaves anywhere. If she takes David's leaves, that's just the same thing as a sky buying stripper pussy. Oh my god. My friend this weekend said that she was like she was waiting on um someone and like she lives in Hollywood and she was like waiting on this table at this really fruit fruit place she works at, and the she was like, um. She said something to the fact of like oh that sounds good or like was that good? And he was like yeah, almost as good as moving to a city and thinking that you're going to make it as an actress and really failing, and said something and just waited and had his little like you know, Cattie little boyfriends like sitting there like snickering as he just like held eye contact with her. And I'm not joking you guys. I wrote to her and I was like, do you find this man? His name? I am going to do everything I can to destroy his life. And I found him on Instagram, I like, and then I was like, looking at him on Instagram, he seems like a nice guy, and I'm like, it's just we need to out these people. And I'm not going to out him because like, I don't want to get my friend in trouble. But people who are rude to people and like bullies like this, they live amongst us. We don't think they're out there because that just seems like a story that would only happen in like a Mean Girls spinoff, like who talks to people like that? But they're everywhere, and we work with them, we're around them, and we need to call this behavior out is an unacceptable And so I think that it is good that the guy stood up and was like, hey, these strippers are like this is on the company's card, Like this isn't it's not right, you're lying. It's not about the stripper part of it. It's like you could you know, whether it's whatever kind of face. I don't think those To me, those two guys aren't the same. But it's a slippery slope, That's what I'm saying, and so is her whoever. That is disgusting and it made my blood. But also I was going to like d m him and go who the fund do you think you are? I know what you're really like, and I will never work with you, and I'll tell everyone I know never to work with you. And I was like, wait, but this guy is clearly in pain. Like you do not talk to people like that. You do not try to make someone who is a waiter feel or a waitress feel bad about herself unless you are immensely miserable. So I was like, I don't need to do anything. It's like that I feel. I honestly feel sad for him. Next story. I hope she fucking ship in his food. I know, I know. I wish I could, but I can't. Sorry, sorry if you if you give me a week, give me a week, okay. Thousands of overdue books have been returned after the New York Public Library ended late fees. The move has inspired the return of seventy two thousand lost or overdue items, and a librarian said that they even got a book with a do date from nineteen fifty nine and one from nineteen seventies six. What is wrong with people? That's why they're not returning books because they don't want to deal with the late fees. Oh my god, how much are the late fees, How much are they? Well they got rid of them, I couldn't tell you. I mean who knows. I mean, neither of us get library books. Clearly some of them came in with apology notes and were returned. Readers come from from high need communities, The librarian explained. Once that barrier is gone and there is a flood of materials back, you realize how much of a barrier it really was, meaning the late fees. No kidding, like you had you have no idea, Like I would have just assumed that people are lazy and like don't want to take them back, But it's really about like I just don't want to have to pay up. And I wonder if like when when Blockbuster closed, there was just like stacks and stacks of you know, tapes being shoved through the door of these empty Blockbusters. Like I remember having so many parking tickets in l A when I left in two thousand seven, and you know, from street cleaning, and I was broke so I wouldn't pay them. And I remember moving back to l A in two thousand fifteen, and it had been a seven and a half years since I lived there before. And someone said if you wait seven years, they just go away. And I was like they did I waited a DMB and registered a car and everything. I didn't have any I don't have any like Leans on my California. No, No, they were just they're just go away. I know. I couldn't believe it, but um, it's true. Have you ever heard of it? Yeah, well there's a thing called average possession in Florida that if you find like an empty house and you live in it for seven years, it's yours. Oh yeah, like squatters laws. Yeah, I gotta do you do the libby um library app? I mean is that just literally like is there a certain number of downloads each book can have? Or is it just like unlimited books? Like is it like, like, why would you ever buy a book if you could do that? Why am I buying books? I don't know. Well not they don't have all the books that we like on there. But um, they do have a limit on how many people can download the book at once. Okay, so there is like a certain number of downloads per book. Okay, that makes sense, So you might have to wait a little bit. Um. I do like buying books. I like supporting like authors in that way, and I love you know, reading on my phone is my favorite way to do it. Um, let's take a quick break and come back with why do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care? Camila Cabello kind of funny, didn't think, oh sorry, wait, what were you gonna say? No, I just love the idea of people burning burning books and it's just their kindle or their guy being like this book and he's like, oh fuck, like an idiot. Go ahead, yeah, I like that. It's funny. It's funny. That's uh. Yeah, you didn't just break the audiences like CaMLA Cabello. Camila Cabello slams paparazzi for beach pictures and for ruining her weekend beach trip to Miami. She said, I've never had a worse time. Um. She She claimed that she didn't breathe and she held her core so tight that her abs hurt as the paps snapped her in bikini from in a bikini from all angles. I've never had a worse time at the beach, and I'm not yet at the point in my journey where I cannot give a fuck. Um concluded the message by saying that she wants to get back to feeling like seven year old me on the beach who was happy, silly and breathing pretending to be a mermaid. Ands um, yeah, I uh yeah, I saw these pictures and I'm not gonna lie. Like I've always loved Camilla Cabello because she, to me, looks like she's like I just say, my body is what it is, and I like she she always looks great to me, but she's someone who, just to me doesn't care about sucking in and it's interesting to hear that side of her saying, like, actually do care, and it's unfortunate like her. I mean, my trip can be my trips to places when I'm in a bikini and someone my friends take a photo of me that there may be trying to make me look good and it doesn't look the way I wanted to. My fucking night can be ruined. It's so stupid, and I'll zoom in on certain places, so it's really leave her alone, and like, I don't know, it's just I I'm just like, so, yeah, I think there's a there there there's a way that, like you could take a funny photo of yourself where you look a k shitty, right, Like, oh I look a little fat in this. I'm just like, I'm fine. But if you're not in control of even the shitty photo, it could feel very shitty, you know what I mean, Like like even in your even in your shitty photos, you want to control the narrative of it. And I think that's what's hard for her, you know what I mean, Like like you were saying, like someone like her, Oh, I don't think that she could be upset about that, but even those pictures are controlled, No, I would be very upset about the pictures. She just like she is someone who you know, isn't like stick rail thin like most of like the pop stars of her generation. And you know, she just went through a breakup with Sean and it is and like she's just out there just like trying to just have a day at the beach. It just sucks because I just, um, it's there's just no way, easy, easy way to like talk about this stuff. It's like we act like it doesn't matter anymore and plus size figures are fine. And then also the only reason that she's being snapped so much up is because she is a plus size figured girl. It's like if she looked amazing, they probably wouldn't even bother as much. Or if she looked not amazing, but if she looked like super tiny, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But it's like we're still fascinated by people not your like yeah, and it's just I don't know, it's it's like yesterday, I believe this is what she really looks like Yesterday, I was really feeling um like I was saying, like I was felt constipated. I felt like I I did this fitting with my stylist, and I've gained weight since, like since I don't know when, but like since a couple fittings go like I don't fit in the same stuff that I used to fit in, like everything that they got for me, Like I could only fit in two things and one was the thing I was wearing yesterday, and they brought like eleven things and I they fit, but they were just so tight that it would have been like leaving imprints on my body. And it was just like it sucks, man, it just sucks even if but I really like I was trying to be do with my stoicism about it because I was just like okay, and then what like, what's the story here? So like I did a stoic thing where I was reading this book about like um, how to how to live like a Roman Emperor, and I wasn't even going to share this, but it kind of fits exactly with this. So I was like struggling with They were like, okay, right down because so exported, just like get things down to the basics of like we catastrophize things so much of like I'm gonna look fat and then no one's gonna like me, and then everyone's gonna thing I'm gross and no one's gonna remember me, and I'm not gonna have a career. Like that's where my mind goes. If I if I look, if I've gained weight, then I'm gonna have to wear the ugliest dress of all the dresses and it's gonna look tight on me and I'm gonna be uncomfortable and then I'm gonna do a bad job because the girl next to me on the couch is gonna look skinnier than me, and everyone's gonna say that and like just making up this story. So it's like, okay, what are the facts? And I so I took my problem. It said take your problem and like what is the fact about it? And I said, I have gained weight. The dress tomorrow on me might not look as good as it would look on a thinner person. That's just it. That's it, without any like embellishment, it might not look as good as I wanted to look if I if I were thinner and it fit better, and then I go, okay, what then what? Okay? Um? Then I might not get as many likes on Instagram as if I were like you know, Hailey Bieber thin okay? And then what well then what if? Like I just was like working out and I was like it does First of all, this does not matter. There's gonna be the next thing and the next thing. And also like I just don't I need to be the size today, Like there was never a world where I was going to be thinner, Like just get on board with your fucking body, Like I don't, I don't care, Like I'm not a piece of ship because my thighs are bigger and I can't get this little extra small dress past my legs, Like yes, I could fit into that last year, but last year I was also like running a lot and because I was just like that was like what I was into and this year, I'm not I'm busier because my life is going better or what you know. It's just I just was like, don't waste another second thinking about what you could be, because you are this way right now and it's not You're not bad because you are. And then I just like talked about how I like had to poop all day, like I just like didn't waste as much time as I usually do, like obsessing over feeling like I wasn't my best self and I wasn't to be honest with you like I was. I didn't feel as like hot as I normally do. But having that kind of conversation with myself of being like, you didn't choose this, you you are exactly the size that you were always going to be in this moment. There was never another world like this is the size you need to be to today for whatever reason. More will be revealed soon. You don't even know what this size is gonna and listen like I'm not saying like I'm you know that anything is wrong with my waiter that I'm like, I it was just it was an uncomfortable wait for me, But it only lasted five minutes until I was able to just like kind of shake it off like a dog and after a bath, and I just like shook it off and was like, no, there's nothing I can do about it right now. What the fuck is me being a little powdy bitch gonna do anything about? Like, does anyone want to be around a girl who's talking about how she hasn't pooped in five days? No, but that is just the next best thing I could bring them as opposed to a girl who's like, I'm fatter than I want to be or whatever the fuck. So that's the end of my rant. Let's get to Reddit dump karaoke mode. This is your Reddit dump. He signed for reddit dump. Hey, Noah, I really want to get to this video that I've been like sitting on in my saved reddit uh folder for a while. It's the employee one. This is a guy who works at Ikea. He's on TikTok what is his name? Because he is so brilliant and he just, um, he just does all these like scenarios of things customers say and then responses he as an employee, has for these people. And this is kind of in our discussion of like like people are monsters, and we need to call out our loved ones and like our friends if we ever find out where they're one of these kinds of people. And I just love how this guy called him out because it's like, if you see yourself in this, you know how annoying you are. It's at Scott says s E. I s s okay, okay, here goes. You just lost yourself a customer. You think I owned this business? You think I own Ikea? I'm a part time employee. Actualy through a two week notice. I don't give a ship. I'm telling all my friends not to shop here. Tell him, do you think I want five other us running around the floor? I'm calling me. I'll tell him. Think you hate this place more than me? I were up here? I know the sale ended last week, but can I still get a discount? Do you hear yourself? We can't go back? Which time marches on? You want the sale from fifteen years ago too? When's it end? Diane? What that price? You're gonna have to go through the quantum realm with ant man? Do you know how much money I spend here? More than you should be a good save your money and my time. It doesn't matter how much you're spending on PBS. Every time I come here, my order gets messed up, and stop coming now one more after them make my day. Every time you come here your orders messed up. Sounds like you're making the mistake. Look inward, you're ordering the wrong. I'd like to speak to your manager. I'd like to speak to your mother. Tears, raison, want to act in public. I want to speak to the manager please. I just love it so much, um because we've all been those people or we all know those people, Like is there anything you guys do when you're a retail employee that you're like, listen to myself? Like for me, it's like when I am touching things in like unfolding things or like take something off. I hate the when retail employees will straighten up after me if I put something back and like right in front of me, I'm like, wait until I'm out of eyesight because I know how you're like fold like you like straightening up what I just touched. Like I can tell your disdain for me. It's so passive aggressive in the dressing room. I don't like when they like check in on you like I would never ask them to get me anything. I would just get dressed, go out, get the thing again, and come back into the dressing room. I just can't do it. I would never ever be like, well can you find that in an eight? Like? I would never. I just want to do it myself. And when people I know that's part of their job and like who likes that though? Who likes having an associate like help them and be like, oh my god, those genes are amazing on you, Like trying on things in front of someone who you don't know. It's just like, I mean, I guess some people like it, because why would they keep doing it? I think it's part of their day where they can feel like they're like a boss of at least someone, you know what I mean. I feel like someone that loves to do that isn't getting in other places because they go to fucking gap and they're like, oh, can you get this in a six for me? It's like okay, yeah, all right, I'll do whatever you want because no one else is doing anything for you. God, I feel like maybe that's the person. But there is something about folding. When you fold your like you were saying, like I'll fold a shirt and I know. I'll try so hard to do a perfect full yes, but it sticks out so bad and it's just like I did, I tried. You don't have to like I know, dude, but I care, but you don't have to tell me how bad the fold ye yes, yes, I hate that and they like straighten the racks. You're just doing that to let me know that I'm trash and like your store is better than and I just I want to say, like sometimes I feel such trash going into like really nice stores, Like even when we were in Cabo, like I didn't want to go in that art store because I'm like, I look poor right now, and they're gonna like think they're better than me, and I just don't want them to think like I. I just I just think they're always like looking at me, like she doesn't have money for that necklace, Like she's like looking at like, oh, but then I realized they're making like twelve dollars an hour and they don't have money for it either. And that's not a judgment. It's just like, why do I think that people inside retail locations are like as rich as the clothes that they're not, you know, like they're not better than me. You're not Mr Gucci. Yeah it's yes. This next Reddit find is from uh warts. Sorry about this, but I found one that I could share from the one that, like, I'm on the most on reddit um and it said my aunt bought my ward. This is so weird. Okay, Like the title says, my aunt gave me a dollar bill and told me that every time I look at the ward to remember it's hers and she owns it. Ship you not. The ward went away. I was about eight years old. Then my older sister had a ward when she was twenty eight. I told her the same thing our aunt said to me, and it didn't work l O L. And I just think that's really funny because so much of the things that happened in our bodies are psychological and for someone to be like I just love how her aunt was like, Hey, a little eight year old, here's a dollar your word, it's mine, and every time you look at it, I want you to remember that I own that. And then it disappeared. I think that's so cool. And I just love that woman who's just like kind of like a weirdo. I mean, I wonder was that her reasoning for doing that the whole time like a joke that ended up working out. No, I'm sure someone did that to her at one point and was like that got rid of her words, because a lot of times words are, like a lot of people, they're brought on by stress because your immune system can't fight off the In fact, I mean it's wards are a sign of like a a weak immune system, I believe, or most of them are. I'm sure people are gonna write to me and be like mine aren't. I have, But it's like your body is trying to fight this like foreign thing, and like it's it's a sign that there's something wrong with your immune system. So a lot of times our immune system is like is weakened by stress or by just you know, like it's it's I literally meditated a fucking cold sore away just by being like goodbye, you're done, and it went away. So it's like, I do believe that kind of mind trickery can work. Speaking of have you guys seen Tyler Henry Life After Death on Netflix? Okay, it is so freaking good. Tyler Henry is like the celeb medium and can you give me a large? Uh No, I don't work here, but he's a celeb medium and he can like he was like he used to do this show on E speaking of I have a show coming out on E Welcome Home Nicki Glazer premaring me first. Um, but he had the show on E where he would like talk to celebrities dead relatives, and I always I never really like watched the show. I kind of seen a couple of episodes and I'm like, alright, like he was a young kid that just had this gift. But watching this show on Netflix, Tyler Henry, Life After Life, After Death, it is so good. He is so sweet. I love him so much, and he really, more than anything I've ever seen in my life, makes me believe that there is indeed an afterlife and like those that leave us are somewhere out there, and like he, more than anything, has made me feel like we're not just like nothing when we die, like something happens, final thought, Like it is so wild, you guys. He he doesn't even understand his gift. He's like, I don't know what this is that I'm getting. I don't know where these people are, I don't know what what this what I'm getting. But he just scribbles on a notebook and he gets messages that is just uncanny information that these people. And I'm the biggest skeptic when it comes to the stuff, and a lot of these people are skeptics as well. And I went to his website because I was like, I want to sign up for a reading, and it says like he doesn't want to know anything about you before he meets you. He likes to go into them cold, kind of like how I like to do stand up, Like I don't want to walk out into and see this theater. I don't want to, Like Andrew likes to like see what the theater looks like and look at the microphone and like, and I'm just like, I just want to go into it because I don't want to like, yeah, I mean a lot of people want to do that, but I just want to go into it cold. But I think that's really cool that he does that because it takes away any thing that you're like, oh my god, he does research. I mean, this kid is not someone who is like trying to trick people or like well an example is just specific names, specific ways people died, specific inside jokes, um, just him being able to really capture someone's like how they passed um how what what there didn't? Demeanor was like He'll just like but it's really funny though, because I mean it wasn't funny. It's like so tragic. But there's this one episode where he was um trying. He was talking to these two girls that he met at a like he met these two girls at a bar. He didn't meet them at a bar, but that's where he was doing the reading. And they were at the bar and they came in and he's like, this girl really likes to dance. But on the way there, he was getting signed. So they show him on the way there and he's like talking. He doesn't drive, so he's either talking to his mom or his assistant and he's like, he looks like mcaulay culkin. He is so sweet and just like so polite and just like kind of like a sat like a little bit of a sassy gay guy. He's he's just but he's so sweet and kind to these people. And he goes through so much because he deals with so much death and like talking to the dead and like feeling their feelings for whatever reason, like he can just like he doesn't even understand what he's what he's being able to process, like he doesn't have the answers for us, but um, it just is really emotional for him. So I actually feel like he suffers with a lot of depression. In fact, I know he does because his mom will be like, people don't know this about you, Tyler, but like you just stay in bed all day long on your days off, like you don't get out of bed. And He's like, yeah, I mean it's draining. And I'm like, oh my god, that's I relate to that so much because he's such a cheery person when he's like around these people and he's like so empathetic and like gives everything, and then on his days off, you don't recognize him because he's just so depressed. And he's like so like, I really I reached out to him on Instagram because I'm like, I really relate to you. I like, not that I said I relate to you, but I just love him and I want him to be okay, and I want to be his friend, um and not so I can talk to my dad relatives, like I just want to know him. But so these this one, these two girls he meets up with, UM, they're like he's like so on the way here, I was really feeling like confused and like kind of like woozy and dizzy, almost like I'm drunk, like really drunk. And they're like, m okay. And then they're like he's like, I really like I feel like I'm not gonna dance, but this person like really like to dance and like likes to have a good time. They're like, that's her, that's her, that's her. She's coming through, and they're like, he's like, she's giving me these signs of like so he does a bunch of stuff that it's like obviously. He's like also like I'm just feeling like the way this person passed, it's very confusing, and there's a lot of stuff going on, and there's like something coming from above own like I don't know what it is, and I'm like, oh, I know exactly what this is because the girls were like she loved country music. And then he's like, it's confusing, there's things coming from this way down and I'm like it was the Vegas country music shooting and I nailed I mean, I don't want to say I nailed it, but I like called I was like I know what this is, and it was. But the funny thing, the thing that I found humorous out of this tragic situation was like they totally he on the way out, he's talking to his assistant afterwards, because on the way there, he's like, I'm just feeling like I'm drunk or something like I'm feeling really and he starts to get premonitions, even like the night before. He's going into these meetings and he never knows who he's going to meet with. And on the way out, his assistance like, how was it, and he's like, I don't know. It was just like this girl like she was lost, you know, she got shot in the Vegas Maus shooting and it was really sad because he's like describing like she was so confused and they totally the girls totally missed it. But he was like, she I just want to let you know that she passed, Like she wasn't in pain. It happened really fast and like she was wasted as fuck. Like that was the part that like they kind of paused over and was like this girl, like not only was there a mass treating going on and people are going everywhere, but this girl was trashed and they were like she loved a party, but it was it was just an interesting thing that he was able to like. At the time, she was riding a mechanical bull, you know, so you know she was having a time of her life. She just took a shot of Yeager. I mean, yes, it is, it is what it is. It is. I just love like, like I like those things because it's like he leads up to it and like someone could guess, like he could guess really all, like he's had to really messed up, you know, I want to see the out take. I mean there was one time though, where he keeps saying something and they're like, we don't know what that is, Like we we don't recognize everysode. He's like, it's a little old lady and she's wearing like and they're just like no, and he's like, god, I just keep adding this like I want her to get out of here, but this woman keeps coming through. And then he was like, is there anyone like in this vicinity like that maybe is here right now? Like and they're like our neighbor and he's like, can you ask her to come out? And this neighbor comes out like in a mask, and this whole show is shot during COVID, but you wouldn't know it because they always try to hide that. This woman comes out in a mask, she's walking her dog, and she's like, He's like, I'm sorry, I don't mean to involve you in this. Is there any way that you And she's like, oh my god, oh my god, like starts freaking out. Totally not a plant, like I know when TV is like fucking with me. I'm such a skeptic to all of it. There was another time where there was supposed to be a woman there um and she didn't show up because she was like two affected by it, like her son and her husband like killed themselves in the same year and she found them and it was just so tragic that I'm probably she didn't want to be on camera. And he kept seeing he kept hearing jingling keys, even on the way there. He's like, I keep getting jingling keys. And so he gets there and the two women that are there like, no, we don't know what that is. And they called their aunt afterwards and we're like, do you know I think about keys? And she's like, are you kidding me? Are you serious? They're like he said they were jingling keys? And she's like, I have their keys and I like play with them all the time, and they could never find their keys. And it was our big running jokes, like so many inside jokes like that, Like it's made me a true believer in the afterlife and like I'm just gonna haunt the funk out of you if something ever happens to me. Just know that, like I'm gonna be like, just couldn't can I can I ask you? Can I ask a question? Though? Does it go into like how he got his start, because I always wonder how did they find out that there they they have this talent? Did he do like one celebrity like like Madonna? And then it like I don't know how they got into the celebrity realm so so much, but I do know that his first premonition was like about his grandmother, Like his mom just like got the phone one day and he and he was was like he had up he had a feeling his grandma. He just like knew she was dead. Like one day he was like I know, he like sat up in bed or something, and then his mom came in the room, was like Grandma just died. And He's like and then he just like he had an old teacher come in and his teacher was like, this kid was quiet the whole whole year. He was like, you know, he's like this gay kid and this like kind of rural northern California or like southern California county. And his teacher was like, one day I found out my mother in law died and I was sitting in class and I just taught and like I was kind of exhausted and I was just trying to phone it in and afterwards, Tyler just sat there and was like, you know, um, and she was like Tyler, what do you need? And he's like, I just want you to know. Like she's really glad that you got the kids to like you, Like she waited until she saw the kids, and it was really cool of you to get the kids there, and she's like, what are you talking about. He's like, Lucille says I Like, like Lucille is like really proud of you, and she's like no one called her Lucille. We all called her Nan. And I had made it so that the kids get to say goodbye to her, like I'd rushed the kids there because we knew she was going and she held on for the kids. What I've learned is that a lot of people hold on and like can die, like can wait to die, and a lot of people that's what like, there's a lot of people being like, I waited till you got there, that he waited and I'm just waiting for him to tell someone like the person doesn't forgive you. They don't like they died in pain because everyone's like there there was no they forgive you, and you know stuff like that. So I mean, I'm sure they just don't show that stuff because it's so heartbreaking and he is such a sweet boy that you can tell that he would maybe keep that back and keep that to himself. I just love him so much. I really recommend the show. So that's our show today. Thank you for listening, sor sorry, We're we love you. We'll be here to borrow and we'll find out what God listen Topeka and Sharrow Jack