Nikki and Andrew look at an old photo of the Cheers cast and are shocked by what people in their thirty's used to look like. Nikki wishes celebs would be more open about work they get done. Andrew talks about getting stretched and Nikki thinks her day can be spiced up with an accent. You Heard It Here First, we are closing the wage gap, a local restaurant stands up to a bully, pets can help you get into a relationship and Nikki does care about nude scenes but probably shouldn't. In the Top1 Bottom1 they talk about the movie Deep Water and deconstruct it into the Final Thought.
The nicky er. Here's NICKI here. I am hello, welcome to the show. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Monday, but I know I have to be honest with everyone. We're keeping us on Friday, which is April one, April fold. I am, actually it is. It is Friday here, but it is Monday to you. And just you know, I appreciate all the listeners. I wanted this to be a very like a current show of like, oh, they taped it that day. There's gonna be sometimes where you just can't do that doesn't mean that the show is gonna lack anything else. And in fact, doing it later in the day. It's four pm here. We usually do the show around we say eleven o'clock and then it gets pushed to about um, it's just a different vibe. My face. I feel like you should go check this video out. I think my face as is less puffy. I I give myself that because when I see sometimes the stills of our video on our channel which I'm subscribed to, and they always pop up sometimes I'm just like, it's a harsh. It's almost like when you accidentally see yourself in your camera and you just go, oh, God, I don't want to see that. And there're sometimes where I'm like, oh, my face is doing things that are it's hard to you know, understood to deal with because I've I've a I'm aging and and but I always help myself by going like you used to look like that, that like that was a couple of days ago, or I say it was in the morning and you were puffier. Um. Also, I will say the other day, when I was in New York City, I was running into so many people I haven't seen in two years, and it's so interesting to see two years of age on people's faces. It's just this slight difference where I used to see these people every single day and then and I for some of them, I was like, oh my god, Like I like, I'm not going to say it to their face, to their old, saggy face, but like they definitely aged. And and then I was just like, wow, God, people are aging. It's like and then I was like, oh my god, they're probably thinking the same thing about it because they haven't seen me in two years. You know. I got a lot of texts yeah from people and Louis food must be good, that's what people said. I don't know if it's about you. It was just right just out of nowhere. Have been like see the door guy at this comedy seller. How does he even have your number? There are some people that I have to say looked better, and I do think that I look better as an age, Like I just you know, I told you the story of for instance, for Cola being like how did you get so beautiful? And I said confidence, and he said no, I think it's genetics. But I do feel that the more confident I get, just being comfortable in your own skin just makes you attractive. It's kind of uh it, you know, it tricks people into thinking you're better looking than you are because you're just exuding happiness and um, but I do I will get a facelift at some point. Like I look at my dad's face. I have a dad bot and I have like my dad's face, and my dad, like our glazers faces just kind of like get a little craggy. My dad it looks like really cool on him. And I'm not just saying that, like I think it's just my dad is always like God, it look weathered whenever sees the picture of himself, and I'm like, yeah, you look like an old Native American, like the guys used to worship that. We have pictures around in our house, Like you look like you've just one of those cool fossils he has. Yeah, but like cool like and hot, Like he looks like you can light a match on his face without even facial hair. Yeah, that's how it's. It's not leathery, but it's like my grandma and my aunt had the same skin. And I think it's also son he's he's he loves the sun and he doesn't moisturize, you know, he never has and also cigarettes for years and years. And you know, there was this picture I posted. Did you see my Instagram story the other day day? It was it was yesterday when it was no, it was of the Cheers cast. How fucking crazy? Was that shocking? So I'm just so you missed it. I just want to go through. This is the Cheers cast, like when they were like you know, when the show is at its utmost popularity. So whatever you're picturing of the Cheers cast that is, these are these ages. Let me just tell you. I'll just no, you can just picture him Ted Danson and cheer Yeah, yeah, pull up their faces Yeah, that's good point. Ted Danson was thirty five. He definitely looks in this picture that's on my story right now. There was thirty three. Yeah, it's on the screen. So if you want to go watch our YouTube, you don't have to go scramble to find it. Um. Shelley Long was thirty three. George went thirty four and he is so freaking it's at the very bottle. It's at the very top of my story. Okay, okay, George went is like the eight is the old old man, the old man that I don't know his name on the show and then read a pearlman who looks thirty four. Dude, thirty four. You guys go, you have to check out this photo because it's just trippy and and it's said underneath it, like what happened to them? And I go smoking inside their whole lives smoking inside, smoking every day. Um, like no sun protection, like not drinking enough water, all of these things. I woke up in the middle of the night last night after seeing this, or not after this, but after a bunch of other things, and just drank so much water. I saw, actually, I saw Kendall Jenner getting ready for the Oscar party, and she was like, I don't know, just days like this. I just like, I love to hydrate. I just drink like tons of water and I'm just like, I haven't had water today, Like and then I got out of bed at like four in the morning. I've it would be funny to see this show. But it's just based in a like a smoothie bar, you know what I mean, like a jompa juice. Everybody knows your name and looks so young and vibrant. They'd I'll be wearing Lulu Lemon. I'm telling you. Part of the hair women with their hair was different, like even girls in there in the eighties in high school when they had the puffy hair. The makeup was a little different. I looked older than I look now, and I'm not joking you when I was a senior in high school and some pictures I look so much older. And I don't know what it is, but I think it does have something to do with injections in your face in the beauty and you can see your yes, you could, oh my god, I look like my old joke of like your skeleton's horizontal stripes, and so it makes you look fat I love it. So wait what, wait, why do you think? Well, I've heard that men have less testosterone now, so then that might be another reason why they look younger these days because on ages you I think it makes you more manly. Yeah, it is interesting, Like I feel, I just know, and I hate to say this, but I just know that I'm going to get a facelift some day, like I just at what age, and I'll be very I'll tell everyone about it because I will have to be like I'm going away for a little bit. Um. I would say probably around forty one. I'm about to turn thirty eight, Like I just a little thing here and there. I just modern. Yeah, there's tons of like mild ways we're more open about this stuff because because they aren't. I just don't really know that much about it, and I'm someone who actually looks into it, and there's just it's all very um, just secretive, and people don't say what they've had. And I would just like to be like, oh, that's like I was looking at Kendall Jenner getting ready for the Oscars on this fucking Vogue thing that just came out on YouTube, and I know she's had. I know she's had literal surgery done on her face at this point, like it's just I don't know that, but I would bet a lot of money on it, and I'm looking for scars or like I just I wish people could tell you what they did. I love that Amy said she had liposuction. Schumer came out and said that because it just it's just nice to know that, you know, It's just nice to know. And I like how she said, you know, I never thought I would get this, And there's a part of me that feels like there's a part of her that was a little bit like ashamed to do it. But she still told people about it because she easily could have kept that secret and no one would have ever known. And I think that's what most people do, and they just lie to you, guys. They lie and they say they've never had work done. When celebrities talk about it, like I had a friend who got liposuction I don't know, like ten years ago, and she had to go to South America to do it. I think I don't do that. Yeah, yeah, I want to get I've been interested in LiPo, but like I've said, I just watching e like in the UM, I guess early two thousands, I don't know. They're used to show surgeries, and the surgeons are just so rough and cavalier with your body and your skin and the way they do that. You guys know what I'm talking about that I've seen, you know, guys at Jiffy Lube put a little rod inside my test my oil with like more delicate and you're tired, ton't work. Yeah, I mean, it's just I just feel like they need to look at your body like it's just a fucking thing, and so it is interesting. It's secretive yet and they're playing God it's written no pun intent, but it's ran all over your face like it's an interesting thing to be so secretive about. Wow being so you can't hide it. You can, though, because these girls get just little things that they go, oh, I've been drinking more water. It's so subtle. Why do you think it's younger you are when you get and the filter's help, so like you start filtering your face and then by the time you get the surgery scars end, you have the face that was a filter, So you get people used to it. Why do you think they like to keep it a secret because it's embarrassing that you're that vain. I mean, that's it's because it's you know, you're trying to look good without being without admitting that you're you actually care, you know, like everyone needs to act like they're not trying. And the truth is, what's more trying than putting yourself under anesthesia, risking spending you know, thirty a hundred thousand dollars. It's embarrassing for people to be like, I care this much what people think about my face. Um, it's it's interesting because they shouldn't. And I I that's why I just want to live a life of honesty, because it isn't once you admit things that are really embarrassing that you think that people can't handle or that will ruin you. I just have never found it to be I've never told the truth about something and had regretted yea ever. I feel like in today's world though, that you know, because botox is so like you literally get it at a gas station. You know, you get pump eighty nine, and botox is much more like people can say. My point though, is that it's like it's the training wheels too for people to feel more comfortable about being like yeah, I've had a few things done, so maybe in ten years to be like, yeah, I got a facelift whence fourteen. I think it used to be very like embarrassing to admit you dyed your hair. I think that used to be now. Yeah, women used to like hide that and be like, no, I don't color my hair. And it's like it's like Grandma, your hair purple like and I was like, did you die purple? She's like, that's natural, and I was like, I don't know what you're actually, you're that drink me Felma, you wild cat. You're right, maybe maybe times are changing and it's just like it's going to take longer. But well, it's interesting with women that you have to like the one thing you can't talk about your facelip, but everything else with men. I was at dinner the other night with my older brother, two of his associates, and a woman associate, and it's kind of cool to see a woman in finance like like that, like kind of manly. It kind of reminds me of like a like you being a female comedian or like female comedians, and she was unbelievable, like whatever, not just for a woman, just like the like the coolest out of all of them. I thought, like she was so funny. Um, I don't know, I have no idea, but she was talking about how she's anti anti aging, even though she was so pro anti's aging because she's aging. How old she's probably I'm guessing mid forties, but now she's back on anti. But my point being is that we I go, oh yeah, I was like. And then we got to talking about the different kind of face, the facials I've gotten, like the hydroplane, and the guys were like, what you do? What? And I was talking about like the different skincare stuff, and like there's still like guys can't even say like I put on moisturizer, like we're still even there where like you did a three step process? What are you? Oh my god, such a long way to go. But I mean, what is just the pacification of men? So you're so scared of being gay? Yeah, of being you're scared of being women taking care of yourself or they just don't know a like had no idea what a toner was until I was like, no, here you go. This is put on before moisturize. That like is not scared of being feminine or whatever. But the that he doesn't know is from society's like not like the overarching feeling of not wanting men men to be masculine, And so he doesn't know because his friends don't do it, and they, you know what I'm saying, like him when it comes to shaping his head, he knows all like the secrets, you know, like whom and his friends have their little tricks. And oh my god, the way that men talk about their hairlines and study other men's hairlines and like, it's, uh, it is some of the gayest things I've ever heard about, Like they are. And I'm saying that obviously as with with humor, because that's words. So it's just so ironic to use that word at this point because it's so stupid. But like, um no, it's like it's very I feel like I when I'm here guys talking you know, sis, straight men talking about hairlines, they sound more like whim chatty little women like the view than you know, uh, than any of my girlfriends. It's it's wild and they don't even know that they're doing it. It becomes obsession in and then you don't want anyone, you know what, I'll give it to that Dave portn or guy, the guy from barstool. Don't give him anything, but I'll just give He gave himself hair plugs, and he's very honest, very open about his hair plugs. It was so funny when the guys gave him a noggie, the way that he was going to get away with having those, otherwise he had to come out about it. That's so if you're yeah, if you've been seen with him, even though McConaughey still for some reason can play the fifth play, the fifth play the plan to it's golf. Uh, yeah, I think that it's um But anyways, yes, yes, hair with men, because there is a lot of women that will not date or Mary Bald guy. Like it's just like it's like your five nine in Bald you're cut off unless somehow like I've given up, and then it's it's totally different. Look, there's just something about it that means you're not his virile or something like tells us biologically, like there's something you're you're aging essentially and maybe not that don't have as much sperm that can get us pregnant. There's something about it that makes us unattracted to you. That isn't that. It's you know, inherently enough, if you look at a lion, a lion, a male lion, the same thing about women like you. Guys like a lot of like luscious locks, like long hair. Whenever girls cut their hair short, guys are always like, it looks good, but they would prefer it long. It's just true. Well, it comes back to the alopecia thing. I loved your point about, like, why is it okay it's not okay to joke about alopecia, but it's okay to joke about men being baled and one is a disease and one is male potter modernus, it's still a thing that they don't choose, much like a disease. Your hair falling, I don't think it. I don't think it counts as a disease. What's the disease if your fingerna are falling out? A doctor as, it's not a disease. It looks like one. No, I'm saying that is a guided but no. But my well, I guess I looked into that. I go, well, why isn't it Why are we making this word up for baldness for women? Because all their hair can fall out. Yeah, that's yeah, but that's where the disease I will see. Well, the thing this is very interesting because the I guess it was a couple of nights ago, my boyfriend was telling me about a situation he was in in which he like, he was like, man, I usually handle it this way, and this time I did, Like I just went a more emotional, like it was a more just like thoughtful, like turn the other cheek kind of like empathetic instead of aggressive approach to a conflict that he handled. And he said, it's really hard for me. I just feel so ridiculous not just lashing out the way that I would normally want to, you know. And he was like, I I go, it's going to get more comfortable, and he was like, it just it helps to hear you say that it's like attracted to you, because I'm like, it's so attractive to me that you're being more emotional and like leading with your feelings and other people's feelings instead of just like anger and aggression. And like, if I were Jada Pickett Smith, I would have been fucking horrifying at what Will Smith did. I would have been like shrieking like now play stuff like I'd be that. I would be so embarrassed. But I said to him, I go one way. You can look at it, like I think, why it's so masculine to me for him to do this is because it's so hard for him, and like doing something that's difficult is masculine, and so actually being emotional is really masculine because it's the more difficult thing. Like I'm more impressed by that than like him riding a thousand miles on a bike trailer or like climbing some eighteen thing a lion, you know, bringing he's doing this thing that's deeply uncomfortable, form against everything he wants to do because he knows it's the right thing to do. Like what's sexy or more masculine than that? I mean, I'm so horny for it. It's hard, though, there's a hard line there of like trying to meet aggression with turning the other cheek like Dali Lama style when it's like it's in your face, like it's I read I was listening to more stoic stuff today and they said exactly what stoics are if someone is like talking ship in your face, and calling you a pussy and everything what you say to them, a stoic, a perfect stoic goes good for you and just walks away like literally like does not I do that with comments a lot of times, not trying to get their goat, trying to like, all you're doing is trying to protect your goat to not be got. That's all you're doing. You just don't want people to get your goat and just living your life in a way that your goat is never got. That's what being a stoic is. Let's take a quick break and then come back with the news and other stuff. Andrew, I'm coming in now, we're back. What today is later in the day. I want to ask you, what have you done today? I did a lot today? Yeah, I bet worked out in the morning. Well, wake up. I make coffee for Branda every morning. It's kind of nice to do that for my daughter. And then I send her off. I packed her a half a sandwich and take off the crust and we have a great lunch box. No, I really do it? You put in a lunch box? Yeah, a little lunch A little he man? Uh well they man, Now, okay, take that joke. Out anyhow? Why they they? Oh no, I'm pronounced. You think that that will get you canceled, saying hey, man or the man? Anyways, there's a man and he man is man man. Yeah, you're gonna have to go. They they what mean they? They watch me? Wat? Okay, so you made a little sack lunch. He wrote a note and said, honey, have a great day, honey, enjoy the honey on top of banana, and signed her permission slip to go on the field trip. I wanted to go. I signed it for me. So anyways, I send her off in her little bus and um, well, okay, uh, it's a day bus. What it's not? Little? What? What is? What is little? You're but little is not a thing unless you're doing little person, which is the correct thing. My thing was short bus. But then I tried to cover short bus by saying day bus. But I don't know if that works. If you could just do it with everything, I think you should just not do it anymore. I gotta stop this. Yeah, stop, am I cutting this whole thing out? I don't know. No if I get canceled, I don't I've never been started anyhow. So I went to the gym ore gym uh, don't go it art. Yeah you went one time. I think I went because you said there was like a hot guy down there. I like, ram down he was God. I left. I just hated working out when the band, like when everyone was wearing masks. Yeah, you're just breathing so heavy and like everyone's maskless now. But then I went and got stretched, which is if you're above forty. You know, my uncle to fake hips. My dad's on his second fake hip. I don't really want. Oh you've gone to stretch you or whatever. I haven't been there, but I went one time, right before dancing at the Stars. I was like, I need to start like limbering up my body. So I went to a stretch. I liked it, and I always used to get stretched after my personal trainer I had. It was awesome. It was the best part of the whole thing. My little teenager brain thin she got stretched, like oh yeah, like yeah, no, I'm not even I'm not even going to dignify this with a ham drop because I don't want it to be a thing, not because I'm offended or I'm protecting anyone, but because it's stupid. So then but I really like it. They like, if you're a lazy guy that doesn't want to do yoga, do this twice a week and it will change. It really does make you more flexible. Yeah, it's it's unbelievable. That's awesome. If you're laziest, I'll show you. It's on Manchester. So then I went from there. Then I went to golf Galaxy to get some new stuff. I'm there literally once every two day. I'm not don't even buy anything. It's just just like like my Cheers. There was like a Taylor Swift store with just like all of her things there. I would I'm in the Taylor Swift merch store every other day. Yeah, you don't have to buy just the smells. Yeah, I touched the fake asthtic fake grass. Where was I trying to do? They know your name? Now? Is that your cheers? They've seen me plenty, they know me. Well, the one knows my name. I have to places. Golf Galaxy is a little bigger. Also found a nicer golf Galaxy in Chesterfield extra fifteen minute drive. Okay, yes, that's where you're getting pretty when you're crossing state lines. Then I went golfing, played nine holes shot of forty not bad. I played okay, then I putted, then I came back, made some food, and now I'm here. That's a lot though. That's it's good productive, that's a productive day. It's a big day. Um I got up at God. Um I got up. I had to have a COVID test because I'm going to the Grammy's pretty sure thing, Prey, prey, I'm going that on Sunday, s COVID test. Walked the dog, came back to her. I just wanted to spice. I'm so bored with what I'm saying that I had to add something to it. So I woke the dog and then I got a coffee, and I came back here and I took my my mad's and my vitamins, and I uh ate some breakfast, and I went back to sleep, and um, I waited like I like to like chug a coffee and then I like to go back to sleep and take a nap on it. And I listened to a stoic podcast. I fell asleep to that. I woke up an hour later, and then um, I went and I played guitar for a little bit. I cleaned up around the house because I it's coming over. And I did some laundry because I am going out of town for a week and a half. And then my my housekeeper showed up, and then I answered some emails, you know, did some like stuff like that, and then um, and then yet the house people came over, and then I came in here to avoid all that while it was going on, and I played guitar and here and oh, I'm sorry. I had a call about I'm doing like Daily Pop on E and Nightly Pop on E twice a day next week for um, Monday through Thursday, I'm doing it twice a day, and so I had a little creative cool. Yeah, it's on and it's a live show on for Daily Pop and then it's pre taped for the Nightly one. But I'm doing two a day. And then um, yeah, I just thought about like what I'm gonna wear for this types of stuff, and um do like hers is more like this, Like it's more like flirty and like opinionated. But I've never liked seen her on anything except I just like know it from like that one scene where she's like with Joe Paschi and bed. For some reason, I see Schumer when you do really Schumer doing it. They're interesting. Yeah, I don't know, by the way, I did too. I loved it Life Is Life. And the last scene I cried, I cried about Oh yeah whatever. I cried when she was the little girl had to wear a wig to school. That made me cry of like just get having like I just related to being having a like a thing you're doing because of anxiety, and your whole family knows about it and they don't know what to do without it, and they're whispering about it, and you're like a pariah like it. Um. I loved I loved that so good. I talked to her about it. It was just like, girl, you're amazing. Even when she played the younger girl, what do you mean that wasn't the younger girl? Oh, she played the younger version of herself. That would be insane, that would be like Penn fifteen. Actually, you know, it was fucking fantastic. Oh my god, my god, I knew you would love. Oh my god. If you haven't seen Life Is can we talk about deep Water really quick? But before we go finally, Okay, we've all we've all watched deep enough time. It doesn't matter. What does honestly a deep water deep water if you haven't seen it on Hulu, it is so awful. Okay, can we just like talk about why, you know what, why don't we do our I'm moving top one, bottom one. We're making it deep water, favorite thing about at least favorite thing. That's what we'll go into deep water. If you haven't seen deep Water on Hulu, we won't spoil it too much for you. But also I hope you maybe see it, and maybe you could save this podcast for later, for the end of the podcast for later. Let's get to the news. Oh man, it's Monday, folks, it's really Friday. But is it monday? Who knows anymore? Tuesday? And there's all days but whatever, you know, let's do things. Playing all this wells back to you. Noh alright, noah, what are the headlines today? I have good news today. Younger women now earn at least or as much or more than men in twenty two metro areas. Whoa, I'm feeling twenty two not true areas, young women are making more than men. Um Women thirty and younger earn nine cents for every dollar made by a comparable man, which is okay. Well, also, this isn't good news for me. I'm not a younger woman. Yeah. Actually, women your age are making what I don't want to say any umber. It's bad dinner tonight six cents for every no, no, no. But are men just making less money? Could that be? I know that men aren't working as much, and men are out of work and feeling really you know, men are just depressed, and so maybe that's affecting it. What are they saying. They're saying it's probably because of like transparency, just being and people just being more open about the salaries that they earn. And as women do get older though, um, the gap kind of widens and it's because being stretched, well because they become moms, they get out of the labor forces. Um uh, it is so weird. Like that's what it was my question for that finance woman, like is she married? Does she have kids? Yeah? I mean it just there. I know you can do it, but it's just different. It's just to think like the disparity, like if it's a low level job first, you know, a ceo, Like obviously there's not that many CEOs in their twenties at this point. I just looked at the billionaires, like the richest people in the world. The richest woman in the world at the top ten. None, That's what I'm saying. My point is as the number goes higher, the percentage goes lower, is what I would guess. You know the you know, they did the top ten richest Women in the world, and I think the richest woman is like she's like the the No, it's a founder of like um or she owns loreal in all those like extension brands or whatever. And she it's somewhere in the sixty billions, which is not even close to like number ten on the met Like, it's just we're not even close to cracking the top ten. It's wild chest women are divorces, yes, men, but and then they give a lot of the money away because they because they have like kindness in their hearts and they yeah, the spanks girl makes a lot of money. The women on Shark Tank make a lot of money. Kardashian was like they did the celebrities and like, yeah, Kim Kardashian, Rihanna in the top ten. Um, I don't think she was like billionaire status. Now. I think jay z was I haven't put out a song in twenty years but through her, Yeah, which is a complete anyone who gets that kind of wealthy from brand. I watched this whole YouTube thing about it. It's it's a subscription service to get the fenty thing fenty by Savage fenty x Savage line. You do subscription service that it automatically signs you up for. It's it's like so unethical and they make all their stuff in sweatshops, like it's one of the most egregiously unethical brands, and like they trick their consumers with all these extra like add ons. It's wild. And it was just this girl just had a great point. She goes, anyone that's a billionaire is doing something at an ethical There's just isn't a way to get that that rich without being a bad person. And Yeah, I loved the first episode. It's everything, but the first do you know that's a true story, That first episode of Atlanta first, the first one you told of the third season. So if you haven't seen Atlanta before, I really recommend the season because it's completely it's not it's not linear, like it's not going it's the series. Like I haven't seen any episodes. Episode two and three, it starts becoming linear. It's so just it's a story. It's a true story about these two lesbian like do gooders that adopted all of these black children that were in foster care and then like it just gets wild. But it's a true story and you should really watch it. I loved it so much and I thank you for recommending it to me. What's the next story? Okay, there's drama in St. Louis and the story was sent by a bestie. St. Louis restaurant stands up to a Los Angeles food blogging influencer after a negative review. Okay, so here's what happened. The place called Corner seventeen. Have you guys heard of that restaurant? Okay, it's a Chinese restaurant was approached by an influencer who has over two hundred thousand followers on Instagram and said to pay him a hundred dollars and he would record the food as it was being made and then posted on his account. The owner declined, he said no, thank you. The guy went to the restaurant anyway and then posted on Instagram on his Instagram story that the food taste like ass or such a floral taste to these and then like a vomit emoji. Uh. So, the restaurant owner, even though he doesn't have as many followers and stuff, he stood up and he exposed that the guy asked him for a hundred dollars and he's like, this guy is just coming here and we refused to pay him on and he's attacking us. So um, A lot of people in St. Louis supported the restaurant and stood up for us. I was wondering if you guys heard about that story. No, I haven't heard of it, but influences can be so gross. This guy, he could have been the best meal he's ever had, and he was never going to give it a good review. It's like people just come into situations looking for reasons to hate it. And I've been that person before of like I'm just going in with negativity or like but um, yeah, that's sucks, and um, good on that guy for you're not just taking it. And I'll go there this week and I will give a true, honest review, even if it's Bader seventeen. I'm coming get that ass right because I'm gonna eat it all right, I will. Do you want to go, I can't. I'm out of town. I've heard that before. I'm going Yeah, where are you going to the pre pre pre Grammy, Yeah, I'm going to the pre oscars too. They're they're backed up all the way. We're doing a pre show of the pre show, of the pre show of the pre show, all the way to the next oscars, which I will go there. I'd want to see you go there. I hate a guy first of all, like what do you like? I bet I know what this guy looks like to this little catty, just like I didn't want to say his name because I didn't want to give him any kind of support, even good or bad. None of that bad press is good press. So you're good to keep keep his name out of your mouth. In the words of Will Smith, Yeah, yeah, what I love that when when you say something like that, like when he was like, keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth. He like said it twice because he had nothing else, you know, like we heard you the first time, and you know, like whenever someone repeats themselves like twice, comedians do it to have like the punch line. It's like, no, we heard, You're just wasting our time with there's nothing funnier and someone that is angry and they don't they can't find the word. I mean, that's why he punched him. It's like he did not have words. Well, you can't compete with Chris rob I mean, it would have been so ugly, it would have been That's when he realized. As he was walking to say, he was probably like, oh, fun, I don't have anything to say to this guy. Well did you see Chris almost went in and you could hear him under his breath be like I could I forgot exactly what were but he said something like I could say so essentially, like I got so much to say, Oh yeah, but he pays. Yeah, he said something though, like under his breath of like he knows so much ship. I mean, every celebrity at that level knows so much stuff that could take down everyone. I mean even I know stuff that could take down people's careers. So I've barely got my foot in the door in that way. But like, yeah, I'm sorry, you know so much stuff. The celebrities luckily paid you a hundred dollars to keep you fucking your mouth shut, you fucking mouth. I love to call me a name and then say it twice, you dumb piece of golf shit. I don't know, dumb piece of golfing shit. Yeh feel mean all right? Uh next story. Okay, we'll do a quick one before break up. Pets have the potential to make their owners more attractive. They serve as both conversation starters and tools for relational maintenance. Oh yeah, oh my god, yes, pants are so good for everything. So a part of the research which I found interesting, Um, the study shows that women were more discriminating regarding the association of a potential partner with pets than men. They were more discriminating like, oh, well, my thing is always like if he has a dog, I'm just like that. He's in every poet picture with in bumble or whatever. I'm just like, get over your dog, Like I can't say something. Guys that are just like all they care about is their dog, Like I love my dog, but it's not it's too much to be like he's my everything. I I live and breathe this Like it's just too much. I'm just like, go just fuck your dog already, like I'm never gonna And sometimes the dog is like not that cute, and I'm just like don't think I'll ever like this thing as much as you do, and that's going to be a divide between us. I'm opening up some pickles because I really want one right now. I just brought out because I think it would be funny and it's not the most annoying thing. Like listeners crunch, it kind of looks like a dog's penis. To be honest, um, I'm not I'm not going to chew on Mike. Uh what do you thinking HEREW No, I know it was a joke to be quiet the whole time while you don't eat off or while you eat off Mike. I think that if a girl has a dog, I gotta think that maybe it's from a past relationship, So maybe there's baggage there potentially, Uh that would really girl or a guy. I think maybe that could be a reason or I don't know. I'm trying to think why a girl would not other than that not like a guy either are allergic they It also says that women are more likely to pay attention to how a date interacts with their pet than men. Oh, which is kind of what Nicky was saying, right like, oh, okay, but they don't care if the person actually owns a dog. I care if someone is like, I don't care if you're like fawning over. I've had Luigi when I've been single and guys have met him or and marry in my head, and I wasn't like, like sad if they didn't show enough, and I'm just like, it's just they don't need to be like fawning over. If they were just totally dismissive of it, I'm just like, well, that's kind of weird. But I've seen some real assholes, like real like like dark thinking assholes when they see a puppy or a dog, they turn into like their seven year old self. When I think they probably like something shitty happened to them, you know, maybe a dog or something, but they go from there. Yeah, it's just like I don't know what that is. What do you think that is? Like, we're there, we're there, I don't know. It just makes us because they're so freaking cute. And it reminds me this joke once where I was at the dog park and this guy was like, what's your dog's name? And I was like Luigi and he was like, but what do you call him? And I was like Luigi and he was like, what do you call him? And I was like little Woo and he was like, oh God. I was like I know. He's like yeah, he looked up. He looked up. Are you a gentle Mike. I was taking a ship at a dog owner's house when I used to watch dogs, and he he was a big real estate guy, like like a boss. And I heard him like talking to his little toy poodles, like like the little baby, and he was like down on the ground. And I come out of taking a ship and he's just like, hey man, what's what's d man? You have a punch of kid. And I'm like what you don't have? All Right, we gotta go to break. We'll be back with top one, bottom one. Uh deep water attention Alright, we're back. Well, let's do Why do I care? Before we get to deep water? Um, why do I care? Why do I care? Okay, let's see if you care about this. Uh. Sydney Sweeney, the twenty four year old star of shows like Euphoria and The White Lotus, told Ellen that she invited her entire family, including her uncle and grandparents, to the premiere of Euphoria and they all watched her nude scene okay. When when Ellen asked her um how her grandparents reacted, she said, they said, I have the best hits in Hollywood. She really does, by the way, I've sent many I've sent some pictures, not many a picture, but a couple of pictures of her, maybe one to my boyfriend just to be like, check out this fucking like lady. Like, isn't she like? And he was like, not my type, but like, yeah, really of good. But I've I've she's made me stop and go yikes, she's got a great bod. Um. Yeah, I like her a lot. I think I feel a little uncomfortable by this whole comment, but you know, that's okay. I like that she is okay with that. I would be very uncomfortable. Like when my dad was like vavava boom about me. I was wondering if you would invite your entire family, like if you had your own movie, you know, I would say, don't listen to me naked. I would say, you know, close your eyes at this part. I don't want my parents seeing me naked. My mom I could handle it, like you know what I mean, It's just I don't it's nice I mean my grandma be like, hey, your cock, great cock there, And I mean she'd be a liar, but I love her for it. Um Hollywood, Florida. Um, she'd also be a liar. Um, Yeah, it would be. I wouldn't mind my mom seeing a nude scene or like a love scene because it's I just like dad supporting your comedy. You talked about blow, you talk about yes, but that's not eliciting boners and people like or it's not meant to, whereas news scenes often are trying to get you in a romantic like if it was, I don't know, I just would feel more uncomfortable with it actually being witnessed, Like when my dad on the Not Safe when when I did the lie detector when he said he had heard me having sex it was the worst thing I've ever heard. Was like, it was, but it was. I didn't think it would be, Like, but there's something about being heard in that context is different than me telling a story of it in him. I don't know why. I mean that show, have you watched one episode Tits is like the least cringe e part of that show, right, So I can't believe she was like, what about my pussy grandma, Grandma, about my grandma, my asshole grandma. They are teenagers in the show. It's weird. I watched the show. It feels dirty sometimes to watch this show, even though it's very entertaining. But who the guy that creates it? Like I don't know what goes on in Hollywood. Like they're like when her tids are great, Right, she's playing a teenager eighteen or no, I guess, I mean then she would have to be. She was a junior last year, right if she two years. They don't really show the high school at all either. By the way, they don't show the teachers. They kind of keep you in this like adult world too. You forget that they're they're not even contextualized as children. Yeah, I don't know if I don't know why it does that. It's a weird choice. Maybe because it would be so uncomfortable to see them, to be reminded that their children ship. I just remember like being in we were talking about this a seller that getting in trouble for watching Dawson's Creek like in high school. I was like that that they were doing too many sexual things, Like now kids are watching Euphoria. I mean it's it's ten years from now, we'll be like and they'll be like, dude, remember euphoria tits And now we're like watching porn last night, and all I could think about was how the things that I'm watching are accessible to like children, to like, it's just it's not okay, It's just not okay. I'm really like, porn is really bad for the world. It's really really bad. It should be something that children should there should be ways that they have no control over it now. And I just I love porn and I like porn stars, and I don't think what they're doing is trying to like, you know, ruin, But could it be a thing that it's just like not taboo anymore. It's like that's a puzzy, that's a pussy, like like what I mean. I think like porn Hub and stuff, they're under a lot of scrutiny because there's a lot of um like sex trafficking and like uploading of videos of miners and stuff, and it's not regulated or anything like that. So well those just better. I know that I have watched videos. I know that I have watched videos where the girl I read this somewhere the other day about porn is like, yes, these women are consenting to do this, like maybe you'll see them in a video before it happens, like I watched like sometimes like brutal things literally the word brutal is in it, and the thing is like, these women may have signed onto this, but much like I have been in sexual situations sometimes where something starts being like not fun for me, and I don't like it, and I just don't say anything because it's too big of a fucking production to stop it. So you just let this thing happen that you don't like. And in porn that can be such a slippery slope because not only are you like it's it's when it's just me and a guy and he's doing something I don't like, and I'm like, I'll just put up with it, like who cares, It's gonna be over soon. That is already such a sad situation to be in, and it's not his fault. I'm just like I'm just trying not to be awkward or like make him feel bad. But when you're on a set and there's people who are like union employees and their lunch, like that them stopping down because you're feeling uncomfortable and ruining the scene and having to It's just like there's so many times that women have continued on with these scenes and you put up with this much that makes uncomfortable, and then you go, okay, well if I'm willing to do that, and then it gets a little bit more uncofortable and you go, okay that too, and then it just it can easily get out of hands. So I know I've witnessed women doing things that they really did not sign up for, and I just I just know it because it's just there's no no chance that I that I haven't And I'm grateful for those horrible experience those women went through because I'm like, I'm I'm not grateful for it. I'm so sad that it happened, but like I want to say that, like I see you, if that's you, and like I I'm sorry I came to what you went through. I really am, but I see you, and I'm trying to figure out how to be at peace with it or like separate myself from it or like hand because I don't want to support these things. I'm I'm grateful was the wrong word. Please don't take that out of context. But I just want to say, like, you are putting yourself in situations that are really scary and um, and to make content for people like me, and I appreciate that, and I'm sorry that it's it's not a better situation, you know, is an amazing Oscar speech, an award that they might not have asked me to host again, yet it asked me before. I would just be like, um, this is what if I just turned it into like a whole expose about how the business is so terrible, and then I just love the ending of it and that's the only way I can come. But it's just so funny to see like like Presidents z a Lynsky doing like we have to stop Russia with the Western world, must help us, and if you do, it's the only way I can come, you know what I mean? Or like we've seen so many dead bodies, but I'm grateful for those dead bodies because that's the only way I can climb. Yeah, that's literally what I just sounded like. Okay, I regret everything. Um, I don't know what I'm talking out. It's too late in the day. Let's uh, it's really late at night in the day. Thanks. Okay, let's get to top one bottom one um deep Water edition. Okay, so let's talk about this movie deep Water that we all watched on Hulu. Um, we are going to talk about our top one and bottom one moment from it. Let's start with bottom because that's wherever literally every kind of anecdote or or thought about this movie belongs. It was a movie starting Ben Affleck and on a day are our ar Mass and they were banging each other when they made it. That's why I wanted to watch it. I thought it would be super sexy, and it is a very sexy movie. It's a thriller. I just love when people on screen are banging off screen and I know it. I just like seeing that chemistry. It makes me feel like I'm in their relationship a little bit, and it's voyeuristic. Um. She is amazingly gorgeous. It is a movie about a guy, Ben Affleck, and this woman who are married and they have a hid and she is a woman that is constantly sleeping with other men in town and he knows about it, and the town knows about it, and he's like a cook. And then they start disappearing and getting murdered. And you wonder if it's Ben Affleck, and then you know, hilarity ensues and there are snails. My least favorite part, my bottom part of this movie was the snails. It was shoehorned in. They serve no purpose. Um his he was a guy Ben Affleck's characters, his husband and he has this whole like snail garden where he like has a bunch of snails in the tank. And like it's not like they eat the dead bodies that he's killing or allegedly killing. Like there's no I can understand if he was like into compost and you're like, oh, maybe that's what he's doing with all along this where the bodies were going or something. Then the snails were just sliming up things moving slowly in the sense of like so does anything else. I it was originally based off of a book, and I think the snails played a part in the book in a big way. I want to say I've done research on this movie because it's so insane to me that this thing got made, that they had. The director directed a bunch of thrillers back in the day, Like some of the best thrillers that there were hasn't directed in so long. He's like eighty nine years old, so you have an elderly director. That is probably part of the problem. They had to do reshoots on it like a year later because the finished product it was supposed to come out in two thousand nineteen before the pandemaphoria. Also, isn't one of the creatives? Oh yes, yeah, Sam or whatever they I don't know his name, but when I read about it, I noticed that and not explained. But the snails so many Okay, yeah, they got just got slim all over it. What was what were they doing to the well, then they should have shown the snail eating it or as parts of it decay. The snail is the pig of the Okay, so for your guys. But the wallet was some evidence that maybe someone would was trying to get rid of and so Andrews saying like maybe he was trying to get rid of evidence. That's not what was happening. It just wasn't wallet with a bunch of slime on it in the in the snail tank. What was it doing in the snail tank because maybe the phone would open it. That's when we go in there. Yes, the snails are so gross. It keeps people from opening it. Why not? Why not yours or something that more that people are actually neared of. It felt so forced. That's why I was like, maybe it's deeper. That's so stupid. It makes no that's my least favorite snails the snails, snails, um shit I have. So it was hard to alright, um, I mean I would have to say, just her at the party, just completely wasted and completely just it's one thing to everyone stopped, sin looks at her because she's like so enigmatic and she's like wasted. Different party, that's a different the first party with the blonde hair guy. I'm saying she got she was like singing with the piano at that party. That was the second party. The most first party too, Oh first party. Okay, so either party either her at a party, it's one thing to cook in front of in private, cuk away. That's what Ben likes. You cut him in the I don't know, I know, but at a party, it's just it really forgotten. It was bad. It was bad. It was bad because but that was what the movie that I have to say, that was part. That's something I liked about it because he made me so angry, I know, because she was working with him. She knew he would never leave her. She said that, like, I know that, what are you gonna do about it? Didn't leave me and he's not doing it. So she was almost testing him like she loved she was Jada Pinkett smithing it, like she wanted to push him because she wanted to see him act out because she got so horny from him loving her and wanting her so bad and getting jealous that she she did that funk with him. I mean so many scenes they would be making out and then she would make eye contact with him while they were making out, so she had a whole other Yes, I was at the end. I think at the end we should talk about like what we thought the plot was, because my plotmation was totally different, but to what Andrew was saying about the parties, So for if anyone didn't watch it, it was about like these affluent people and they would be at a party like every single day. I was like, are these people exhausted? So many so many parties, and it was so funny. I was looking at all the extras and they're just all these people. They just no party would have this kind of people at it, like it was just such a mismatched group of like it was filmed during the no I guess it wasn't filmed during the pandemic, but it was just like I was just it's so funny party scenes in movies, Like it's just the weirdest looking groups of people. But um, they were always going to so many parties. You're right, and that isn't another annoying thing of it. And but didn't you think that she knew that she had something on him, just more than the love, like that she knew that he actually murdered the one guy? You know what I mean? That's how I felt. I felt like she had something on him. That's why he kept being such a contesting Okay, I kind of like that, but but it turned out that wasn't who the fun knows because the ending is so stupid. Oh you know what my last favorite? Can I just say my least favorite? No more than snails? This was only if you've seen it, And I'm sorry. When Ben is with the stick at the end, like poking around to get that guy like back in the water and that guy the author shows about it from nowhere, why was Oh my god, this actually brings me to my other least favorites just have given him reason to be there. Why was he there he knew I think he heard of this creek before he knew that there was a body in that creek. It was because he was he had nothing else to do with his day except for be suspec just Ben Affleck's I thought he just wound up there like because I'm like, oh, I'm on a hike and I just happened to see this guy who I suspected murdering out with a stick, trying to poke up a town with people who have nothing to do. And why he thought that Ben was a murderer? Would he like go stumbling in his dress suites down a ravine and get closer to a guy who's obviously doing something to furious and will definitely kill you if he's like it was when he was speeding away from and he goes, oh, now I'm going to write a book about you. He was like saying all these dumb runaway things, and I'm like, focus on getting away, you freaky dumb old man. He's like, I was his wife so young. He's talking into his phone like chapter four, he's murderer. It's like he's in there right behind. You want to bike going source faster than you can drive in your little dumb station. Him biking everywhere. It's the Friday Jason walking faster than someone runs. Get the fun was at at biking though. He biked everywhere, and he took shortcuts that the guy didn't know about. That's a That's another thing of don't text and and drive. Don't try to do voice notes and drive while driving away from ben Affleck coming after you want to bike to murder you parts I don't even know. I hated the parties. The best part for me was um, how hot they both were and the scene where they have sex. It was super duper hot. And I did not like any of the sex with the other guys. Really, I just wanted to her in ben Affleck. Ben Affleck is so freaking good looking, he still got it. Love the facework, um him. They definitely had chemistry in that one scene. And I definitely think he takes jobs to get naked with women that he wants to hook up with. And I don't begrudge him for it, because I'm sure it's just part of the reason that he takes these gigs. But that is those sex scene that that one was super hot? No, do you have the best part? Okay, It's like I really had to dig in there to say this. Um, but I guess I kind of like the sexual tension. I like the idea of like cooking and stuff like that. But um, cuckoldings, I should say. But it just it. It didn't do it right because of all the other things that we discussed. Um, did you like the little girl like singing in the car at the end after he watched this awful murder scene to lighten the mood, oh, out takes the little daughter four year old singing the b GS in the back of car. It was like the dumbest thing during the credits to have this little girl like singing a song. It was so first singing made me understand the wife cheating, Like that's how bad her singing? Oh my god, I loved her being such a bad mom. Tell me your taps, and then I want to tell you what I thought about the Yeah, I guess the only thing that like the one. It is weird to like it. No, it wasn't even that the cause, Yeah, I guess my when ben Okay, first of all, I was rooting for Ben because I hated her so much, and then by the end of it, I wanted him all to die. But when Ben sat down the brad Pitt, younger looking guy, the first guy she was sucking and at the party, and told him that he murdered the other guy that was. And then when the guy came over and Ben was still like giving him food and like, I did enjoy that because it gave Ben at least some backbone. But that was the only redeeming thing about the whole movie. Final thought, Noah, what do you make of this movie? Okay, so at first I thought the same, like you like, this woman cheats and you know, it stresses him out and all that. And then as the movie started to end, I realized, like I thought that it was more of this woman is trapped by this guy who is a genius and he's very wealthy and powerful and he I thought it was like an erectile dysfunction thing where he could not satisfy her and but also would not let her leave the relationship, and she would have all these affairs and you know, to she obviously had some kind of like like sex addiction or something and um, and every time she would get that satisfied. He would go and you kill these guys and she would just feel trapped in this loop. That's what I took away from him. But he did right. Well. Do you remember at the party when she backed up to him and he's like, oh, yes, you know that was hot. I thought like, oh, you know, she's teasing him because she knows that he can't keep an erection, so it's just going to tease him a little bit. And that could have been solved with should I murder the guy or get a hard cock. I think it was just vehicle for these for just a sexy movie that really taught me. Nothing told me, nothing, didn't make me think about anything deeper. Um just made me. Honestly, what I took away from it is that I need to make movies because anything goes, anything fucking goes, Like like there's sometimes you see movies and you just go, how you know there's a podcast? How did this get made? About these kinds of movies? I can't wait until they do this movie on there. But it really does blow your mind the stuff that gets made. And this was an example of something that should not have been made. I'm glad it was you've got to see it because it's just so weird. The music is good, the cinematography is good. The um what about the cops? The cops? Oh my god, what the cops? I don't remember them. Detectives, Oh my god? Oh what about So she snaps on. So he murders her boyfriend, right her, this is like the second one of all the guys she's in front of murders him or whatever party at their friend's house. Right. So, and when he murders after he murders him, the cops come right and they're like pulled the body out of the thing, and they're all sitting around trying to investigate it, and she starts screaming and crying being I know you're dead, I know you're him, and so the cops are like, we're gonna take you away. So she's screaming this in front of all their friends that are like freaked out because they just wants this guy dying. And then the next week they're all at like a fun brunch party and this like bad backyard barbecue with all the same people. It's so weird. So when he went over for dinner, when he went to the guy's dinner, the book the writer. Yes, oh my god, what about what oh? When he danced with the guy's wife, I was like, fun, yeah, I get it, girl, get it. I thought that we were going. I would have loved to see his sex scene between just wanted up him to fun a blonde girls. I could kind of blur my eyes and picture it. That's why he likes Sweeney Stits. I mean I always like girls that look like like I've always like, you know, porn everything. I just want someone do um No. So because you said I looked like Taylor Hawkins yesterday and it was so funny because I've been thinking every time I see a picture of Taylor Hawkins, r I p coming up, I think it's me for a second, and that's it flattering to me. I do look I do without makeup, I do look like Taylor Hawkins. I mean you could if you dressed like it would be He's a great smile, like he's always smiling, and like it would be a good I mean, I guess it wouldn't be a good hall, it would have been a good Holloway. Literally think you look like if Kurt Cobain and Taylor Hawkins had a baby and that's why you said I should never meet Tave girl. It would be very triggering. You'd be dead in a week. Oh my god, oh god. The other thing about Sauces, here's the other thing inside my belly. The movie is one of those movies you can't turn it off. And I'll give it credit for that. That's that, okay. Maybe partly because you said to see this I I thought you might have loved it. I was also watching this movie where you thought I might like it, so I didn't know at what point, person, Well, that's a great April Fools. I did have an April Fool's joke, and that was it. I didn't mean to. They said something about April Fools that I've read that was like, you are meant to confuse, not abuse. That's what a good prank is if the person can laugh afterwards, confusion not abusion, which I like the the it is hard. There are certain movies that are so bad that they're and this one was I think not bad enough, but I don't know. We got pretty fired up here. Yeah, it just can we do our top ten the whole thing? And actually I would I don't watch bad movies. I just I don't watch movies in general, Like, so I don't, And you know, I know there are a lot of bad movies from my childhood that I think is good because I was a child and children are dumb, you know what I mean. I'm trying to even think of like one bad movie that I've seen that I like. I walked out of Dinners for Schmucks. I hated it. I walked out of Horrible Bosses, hated it. I thought, it's just these movies are just so insulting to your to your intelligence that any of this would fly, any of these people would act this way. It's just like I can't stand it. Just just leave your job, don't murder your boss. Boss has acted this way, you know, to see you buying a ticket for Deep Water, Like it's just such a funnier thing to go to the movie, to write Hulu and say, um, I think my monthly subscription should be. I walked out Alimentary this week. Yeah, I walked out of my living room. Think about how many shows and movies we've walked out of that that you know, we have to go somewhere or whatever to like, I would walk out of theaters all the time. It was a thing because I never walked out of a theater. I do not put up with something that is like it is nothing that the theater doesn't give a funk the guy working like, I don't want this movie to have my money. I don't want this man to make more movies. They already have money. Money. No, I'm taking it back so it will be one less box office money. You would leave and ask for your money back if it was before forty five minutes in the movie. Wow. Yeah. And it's not because I want that money. It's because I need to send a message with my money that is, don't make these movies. This is not good. I've never heard of anyone doing this. People do it all the time, and you can do it anytime you want. I wouldn't do it now because like theaters are suffering. But back in the day when they were fine before movie pass, we gotta go, let's some well shots fired. We gotta go. Have such a great Monday. We'll see you tomorrow on the podcast. Uh don't ki and money back