The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Nicky Glazer, here's Nikki. Hello here I am. It's Monday. Welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. I'm Nicki Glazer. In studio with me is Andrew Colin. Welcome up to the twelfth floor. Amen, it's good to be up this high. I'm on the third floor. Get where the normal people. Hate's going on with your hair today, buddy, Like I want you to get a good side profile for the people watching on YouTube. Go all the way to side, look all the way that way. Don't zoom into that please. Whoever's enditing the video, something's going on. Did you put a product in? Uh? A while ago? There is product in here. I don't know if it's active. When does products stopping? Kind of product of food product with a little bit of reguano, you know, um whatever whatever I mean. I know that you bought a palmmaid or a kind of a mouse a. A curl cream. Yeah, curl cream curling handsome, which I like to do is congealing. That's what you do when you do the curls. You put the curling answer in and you put your wet hair. You do it. If you want to get curls with your like straight, like if you have kinky hair, girls like like that have curl in it, but it's not like curly curly. You wet your hair, you make sure your hands run through it. You piece it out with your fingers. You dump it in the sink and you dip it in water in the sink, and then you congeal. You you put the curl cream your then you you squish and you make sure that they don't get they stay in place, which I did last night. Yeah, I fell asleep with it perfectly congealed exactly, looks like like a red dog after you shook just twice. I hate when you just go to bed with it. It's it's almost dry to the point where it's going to look good, and then you go to bed. Oh, there's nothing worse with it. I mean, this hair needs to be seen by one person or one other person. Yeah, anyway, so yeah, I had it all curled up, and then I woke up today I thought we were recording with our lovely guests on Your Marina. Yes, by the way, on Your Marina is joining us, not just for the theme song, but she is live via zoom. Right, Hey guys, I guess I'm in the Hudson Valley. Yeah, close enough. In Arizona. We're like representing almost every time zone. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We were wearing our Nicky Glazers swag and Nikki's wearing my T shirt and I'm wearing discussed this earlier Anya shirt. That's wild. Look at us. Pretty cute of us. Speaking of merch there's a new uh, there's a new page of merch that you can get hats and shirts. You go to pod March is that right? Pot Shot pop shot dot Nicky Glazer dot com to check out the new nick Glazer podcast Merchandise, which I did an announcement of on Thursday where I said that I was I like made it sound like I was announcing I was pregnant, and it was like so real, Like I really sold it. No, h when you listened, I mean you knew what I was recording. When you listened to it, did you even get the sense that, like maybe I was telling you something, even though that's what I thought, you were using it as like a way to like tell me what the thing that you were going for. I don't want to ruin it for people who haven't heard it. But I was like, I didn't listen to that announcement. What what's happening? I really fooled people. I mean, you're gonna be like the girl that cried baby. I know, I know it's it's I don't think you should joke about those things. But I'm okay with not having kids. After my weekend, I um my babysat for Harlow on Friday, and I'm good. That's all the three hours it was nine to twelve. It's it felt like nine eleven. It was so it was so difficult kids. He it was only one one one child. Poppy would have like offset it a little bit because it would have been like they could have each other to like feed off of their energy. Because I was you know, I guess it's different when you're a parent. You can kind of like they can do their own thing, like in your house, like you don't have to watch them constantly. But he needed constant, like my attention. It was like being on stage. I related it. I was talking about it to someone and I was like, oh my god. It was like I didn't have time to take a sip of water. I didn't have time to go to the bathroom. I didn't have time to eat. There was nothing that I could do to take care of myself. It was like I was on for three hours of like listening, active listening, active talking voices, crazy and like doing and it was like doing the same joke over and over and over, because God forbid, you make a kid laugh one time with a thing, they again again and then they start crying if you like, don't do it again. It was so finally we ran out of stuff to like actively do within about twenty minutes. Like that wasn't TV and he was like, oh, won't watch TV. And I was like thank god. And I'm like, are you caught up on the Bachelor? And he's like, no, I could prefer to watch autistic men of color in anime or like uh, actually it was a competition we want. He's obsessed. He knows exactly what he wants kids, no screens, and he was like I want he I want Pokemon drawing. When I typed him Pokemon drawing, sure enough, the first thing that comes up, he's like that one. And we watch a man color in Pokemon's for an hour just and to uh just a just a a rhythm that there's like a music behind it, no talking, but just like drawing hundreds of Pokemon. How was that? That must have been easy then you would think, but it's like, well that's what's that one? Well that's and that's why the char mander, and that's why would you want watch it? Watch it? If he even set that, I was on my like you can't be on your phone. There was no I like that. Kids are like paying attention to your attention, like no, no, get off your phone. Watch this with me, and constantly watching. I was watching it was nuts. I think that there should be for a kid's kids. Voices need to get lower and quicker. I think there are the testerone and is there any car to you? That's like insulted that he's entertained by Pokemon maybe more than by you. Well, there's not much. I was very happy that I could that. We were like I'm happy to just admit my strength. Like my house doesn't have that many toys. I was like scouring for anything that we could make, like he was here. He was here, so we didn't have If we were at his place and we could have played games, but there was like just not a lot to do. It was so cold outside we couldn't really like hang out and go for walks and stuff and um, and I gave him like some presents I got him in Mexico, and he didn't care for those, and so that ran out quickly, and so then it was Pokemon time. And what I did learn though, is that Pokemon watching people draw is soothing and kind of cool. And I learned I learned Pokemon's names like I learned about Pokemon. And his encyclopedic knowledge of these Pokemon's names as a four year old is so impressive, because they're weird names, you know, that don't really make sense. And he would they would start drawing, like the fucking tail of it, or even the ear, and he would be like, the only one I remember now was Charmander, like jigglie Puff, Like he would just know right away. And he it's not like he can read and see like jigglie Puff. That's he's just just from hearing it. Kids memories are insane. Yeah, Like I don't even they know way more than very quickly. Like my nephew Aggie knows more about dinosaurs than like a person that works at a museum. I'm telling it's wild and the long name, like the technically like once you've never even You're like, no, they never found it when you were kids, like I put in, it's still in. It's still from when I was a baby boy. He used to wipe it on your carpet. Now it's in your hair. But here's Yeah, that's a ninetyde um. You could use him though, like once every two weeks for material. You know, you could make a whole hour about being like it was interesting to be thank you. I hope that's in the next hour. Yeah, that's just right off the dome. Um. I used to have a joke about babysitting and how it's like it's hard because it's like your mother, but you also don't love them. Yes, um, I do love Arlow, but obviously not as much as a parent would. But I love him more than kids. That was babies, just brandomly babysit for. But it brought me back to two thousand nine, the last time my baby sat. It was my number one thing that I used to do for income before comedy like took over and I dropped out of babysitting before I could even pay my bills with comedy. I mean, I was just like I can't do it anymore because and it was reminded of it with this three hour stretch of just looking at the clock, like when is my mom coming to get him? Because I can't keep doing these bits over and over it for a while. We're doing bits with these Um, did you try giving him like quill and like drug him? You know, he wasn't hungry, so I tried to wrap it massages throat. Uh is he interested in the dog at all? Like connected? I mean, Luigi lives with him a lot, and so no, like he's just over it right away. And what's there to do with a dog? I don't know how it's fucking entertain themselves before toys and media and all this stuff, like it really is fascinating. No, But I mean like back in like days like where they just had like a wooden cup and they would have like a ball attached to a string and they try to get the ball in the cup. Yeah, or you become mozart or something. You give them something to write, you know, some or one soccer ball. Something makes me want to shake him and just go learn an instrument now, like start learning. Now you got someone you could do anything at yourself. I just pokemon there. There is no way, no way that I would ever be able to accomplish anything new or like a new hobby if I had kids, No way unless I hired you know, did the thing where I hired nanny's and then I would be like just filled with guilt constantly. I'm filled with guilt when I leave Luigi for four hours. I the whole time I'm doing anything else. It's there's a under like there's just a stream of guilt of my dog being alone, and just like looking at the door, I wouldn't be able to function just um, I just want That's why people become like stage moms because they're like, I can't learn anything new. Let me put my kid with a bunch of pedophiles and have him an um. How wait, so I want to promote your dates. You're you're coming to New York to do a show at Rockwood. I really want besties to come out if they're in the New York area. Can you tell us all the details? Yeah, Thursday, St. Patrick's Day, which was a great choice on my part. It's going to be annoying, no, but it's an early show. You can come to Rockwood I think doors open at six. I play at seven. You can get out of there and go to the bar with your friends or whatever you want to do. It's Rockwood Stage three, which is on Orchard Street, and I'm playing an hour set and I have a special guest, Matt pond p A, So Matt and Chris from Matt Pond Pier are going to do um like twenty minutes nice and I think it's their our show before they form a new band at which I can't announce the name, but I'm excited for them. They're coming out with a new record, new band name. Blah blah blah. Yeah, I've been talking to that's the name that Yeah, blah blah blah. That actually would be a great name. It's not a bad name. Wait, what is it? There was a band called Chick Chick Chick that was just three exclamation points. They were like played coach or something maybe blah blah black Chick the Dixie Chicks. My boyfriend does not use exclamation marks in text. Ever, he won't write an exclamation mark. I don't blame ever. It just is. It just is. Now it's almost like his thing where he's just like I want to another night, he had to put in like a password to get on Oh, we watched Love Is Blind to get on Netflix, and it's like, I have an exclamation mark in the password, and I was like, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have to write an exclamation mark, and he was like, will you come over here and do it? It was just kind of it was It was always like the killing of a spider of a girlfriend, like I have to do that for him and he is, which, by the way, no one has to kill a spider for me because I don't kill spiders. But you know, it's the trope. Yeah, Love is Blind, Anya has Anya, what's talking to me about it? When I was in Cabo, I tried to watch it initially because but then it wasn't showing up on our Netflix for some reason. In Mexico. It was like a delayed so I didn't get into it. And then I was like, you know what, I'm gonna wait to watch this with my man because it's such a fun thing to just consume and we he loves like these dating he can get you know, wrapped up in these shows too. Started it on thirst Wednesday. Um, I haven't finished it yet. But man, is season two good? Did you watch the first season? Noah or Andrew? Okay, um, no, have you watched the second season? I haven't because my man does not watch those shows and we have like one TV, so I can't watch anything like that. Gosh, oh yeah, I guess I have that. Yeah, you could watch it on your device, but it's not it's not fun to watch these shows alone. On you you watch these shows alone? Is there any part of you that wants to talk to someone about it though? That's watching it? Also? So what you do? Like? Can we talk about this stereotypes? Well? I have a degree in Love Is Blind? US, Japan and Brazil. You watched them all. I watched them all in their original language. Now have you watched one Love is Blind season one when it first came out or were unew to it this this time around? You know what's weird is I'm sure that I did, but then I'll see little clips from it and I'm like, I don't recognize any of these people. But maybe that's just how memory works. When you watch a really trashy reality show, you don't recall any of these people. I don't remember them, but I know I watched it you did watch because I loved Love Is Blind one. It was a pandemic, like a first kind of show that came out during the pandemic. Did you watch Love's watch the first one? Yeah? I like. I like the first one. Man, it's so unique where That's why I don't think I've watch the second one yet, because when something is so singular in a way, it's like you can't be be like or like that idea is like already like people were saying. At least Chris, it told me that people had said that season two wasn't as good as season one. But I have to say I am very caught up in it and very invested. It is like a good book that I can't wait to get back to. It's just I am. I'm loving it so much, and it's just so for those of you don't know what it is. These people meet in these pods, they just they they fall in love based on just their voices and talking. Over a ten day period, fifteen guys fifteen girls all mix and mingle and talk through the wall at each other, and they have these intimate conversations and then very quickly they start like matching up and like figuring out who they like, and then by the second by the first episode there's they reveal, like they start going like they start getting engaged, like outside of the wall, like the there's a wall between them. When they get engaged, they haven't seen each other side unseen, and then there's the reveal and they see each other and so by you think the whole thing is going to be like them in these pots, but it's only the first two episodes and then they're out and they're trying to figure out if they're gonna get married. They have four weeks to live together. They go on vacation first in Mexico for like five days. I'm guessing there Glory Hole this season, um frum show before you come out? Oh my god, did you hear Lisa Gilroy? Did you see Lisa Gilroy's take on Love is Blind? She's the one I'm obsessed with on Instagram. She was doing she did like a kind of real about it and it's through the wall and she's like, this is like a you know, example of a date on Love is Blind? And she's through the wall and the girls like, okay, so, Josh, if you could be a ice cream topping, what would you be And he's like, I guess peanuts. Okay, my turn, Um, Like if you were standing on a scale, like what would it says? Is anyone that ugly on the show? And I like not seeing it and I will see it. I will say that it is a show of sixes, sixes and sevens. I'm surprised based on my experience doing f Boy Island and like how many people are down to go on these shows and like I want to be famous now, and like that's really what these shows are about. Let's be honestly. Do people can say that they're looking for love and that can be true, but it has to be hand in hand with like wanting to be famous too. No one really goes on these shows being like I don't want to be famous? Why would you go on a show? Then? So I cannot believe they could find more attractive people, no offense to unattractive people that deserve love as well. I just can't believe they do. Everyone deserved sincere like you want to hang out with your nephew again. I just can't be lieve they couldn't do a little bit. And I think all these people are like there are beautiful people on the show. I'm saying this as a six myself, like if I fit on the show perfectly. I'm just used to reality shows having super hot people on any thoughts. I don't know about rating people. I didn't even think about it, but you're right, they're not like they're not bad. It feels relatable. It feels like, oh, these are real people. Which also they seem like they've done makeovers on real people, like you know what I mean, Like these girls have injections like they're trying. They have had their hair done, like well, they're these women already ready have no no, no, these women are coming in with these injections, and I don't think that's what I mean. Okay, Okay, I thought you said they do makeovers on them, right, they've done make over. Someone's done to makeover on them, like they've showed up on their best they put their best foot forward. But they are like ordinary real people. Some of them are really cute. I have to say. There's one girl whose face she's beautiful. She's really beautiful, and um, it's interesting because I was looking at her face and I said to Chris when we're watching and I go because we're like she's clearly a stunner. But if you saw that face in you would say, what the funk is going on there? It doesn't. Beauty now has changed so much faces of beautiful women. Beauty is. I mean, I know, it's constantly changing what we have the idea of beauty, Like whether it's like big hair in the eighties or like jeans that go up to your fucking like you know, breastbone or whatever it is. There's fashion that's changing what's sexy. But faces now, this woman injections and faces have changed faces so much in our idea of what a good looking woman is. I watched an old episode of Oprah last night that was called The Other Woman. It was all about these like women that were like the other woman in relationships where every woman in the audience is just like hating these women in Oprah is just like, so, you know he was married, right? You know he was married when you met him? Well I didn't know, okay, so but then when you found out. See, I would think that if every man I ever dated ended up being married, I would like ask first the next time. It's like she's just calling them out and all these women are just like just so angry at these women that are coming out being like, yeah, I was an other woman. There's a woman on there who looks legit fifty fifty six and she's thirty six years old and this was two thousand four, and it's because her. It's because of fashion and how much it's changed. And like these women all have normal faces with nothing in them and it just doesn't happen anymore. It just it is as regular to get botox and stuff in your face now as it was to get like your hair died back in two thousand four. It's just changed. Don't you think the premise though, of a show where people get engaged after a couple of times or whatever outside of fucking wall like that, that that doesn't do it for me. That makes it feel just like Got a Bachelor, I don't feel as genuine at the end when they're getting but at least they saw each other for a couple of months, like they get engaged like straight up and honestly they know each other and fall in love. But like in these pods, it is real love and as I know, it's real love, but not engage love to fucking not see the person and watch watch the first two episodes, and you tell me if what you've witnessed on the back I saw the first season. I know, but you need a refresher because this this stuff, it's like it's real. Did anyone open the door? Was like goddamn almost that were like people have involuntary reactions, like where they're like you could just see a split second, liken this ring? Oh my god. We have to take a break, but I want to come back and talk about one of those a bake sale. I gotta go to break, but we'll be right back because I want to talk about one of those reactions that is like, oh on this Love is Blind recap episode, we'll get to the news. I swear Andrew go on, now, all right, we're back. Um. The one that I want to talk about from Lob is Blind. The reaction. It's so funny because they can't people can't help their faces and even these with the even the ones with injections that are making their faces frozen, they can't help. But like the way they touched the other person. You know, when a couple is like very into each other because they're just like touchy, touchy, kissy, kissy, even though they've never even met before, and they're engaged and they're in love and they're like, I love you. And then the ones that aren't you just you. It's written all over them. But the other the guy is usually the one that's like super into it and the girl is kind of like and um, they don't. The guy doesn't have the other couple's meetings to frame his meaning off of, so the awkwardness he just attributes to Like so the first time, we're meaning she's just a little awkward. But watching it as a viewer, you're like, whoa, this is way different than the other ones. Something's wrong. And this one girl she's like down to get engaged to this guy, and then as soon as she sees him, she's just like, I just feel like my religion is going to be It's like wait, wait what I thought you said you wanted to work through that, And she's just like, I just feel like your height, like the height of my um for God is like not in line with your knows. I mean he knows, God knows. Like it's it's so funny, and the guy is in total denial of what is going on, which is she's not attracted to me, and she doesn't like me because of my looks and he goes. I think she just wanted to wait to see me in person before she told me, like the deal breaker over, Like that's not it. But it's sweet that he's like, you know, kind of defending it, you know, in the you know, you make excuses. I used to do that when guys would reject me. I'd be like, he likes me too much, Like he he loves me, and he's scared of the love that he feels, and so he's running. So you just like kind of yourself a wall, like to go, can we always have a wall in front of him? And like I could love him through a wall and while I'm sucking someone else on the other side. Well, some of these couples are so connected in the pods and then they come out in the world and they are frozen and have nothing to talk about. And on the japan one, it's funny because a couple of the girls, like after they get together and everything, they're like, can we just not look at each other? Because they stop actually having good conversations when they're physically with each other, And then they'll do this thing where they just look the other way and they start again, I'm not kidding you. Like that happened with a couple on the American version, the Asian woman Natalie, and like maybe it's a that, maybe that's a thing. I don't know, but she is so loving to this guy behind the wall, so a few said with her feelings, and then the second they get in person, she's so mean to him, constantly being like, yeah, I guess you're all right. And all this guy wants is to be told he's cute and that she loves him. And he's just like this big, honky like blonde guy who's just like he just wants to be loved. That's all he wants, and he and she just won't give it to him. He's like do you He goes, you're so you're so beautiful, babe, do you think I'm attractive? And she's just like, they're all right, Like but she was, I'm just kidding, and he goes stop stop doing Like eventually like gets the point where and I'm screaming at the TV like stopping mean to him, You're why are you doing this? You were so nut, You're so nice, And she's so nice to him. Off off camera, she's just gosh about how much she loves him, and then when they get in person, she's so mean, do you think that interesting? Do you think I think that when you get in front of someone, you're now thinking, like, how do I look? How already pursuing me? Where you can't connect because you're so worried about thinking about yourself. Something going on there that I just was really She eventually worked through it, but it was she was stunned by his good looks. He's really hunky, and that was the first thing she says in her one to the confessional. She's like, I couldn't believe how hot he is, like and and then it's just like an, I think it's subconscious. I wish they had a therapist element on the show where they could deal with stuff like that, that, yeah, what is going on with all of these little criticisms and jabs like constantly. I used to deal with that in a relationship where it was like just constantly like just cutting everything with any sincerity would be cut with a joke of like where it was just there was never a compliment that wasn't like but I mean, I guess you're okay, like something that would take it away as soon as they gave it or never give it and then or say something mean and then cut it with like, I'm just kidding. You know you're beautiful, you know, something like that. And it just got to the point where I was like, you're mean, you're constantly and I know you don't feel that way like when we're alone or when you know there's I just know how you feel about me, And isn't that what what is going on here? And I think it's just fear of intimacy and fear of being uh vulnerable, and like, I guess letting someone know that you have something invested in them that they could then pull away so mismatched in my opinion, I was like, what, I haven't gotten to that, and so please do not tell me anything that happened. But I thought they are I think they're great. No, as I was watching them, like they're a great couple, But I couldn't believe that they picked each other right off the bat, you know, well, so funny. There's so many moments in this reality show where I go, WHOA, Well, when this hairs, he's going to have a lot to answer to because he just openly told this other girl. Because they're all dating each other, and by the end of it, some of them are between two people, and one guy tells one and I'm not spoiling anything because this is the first episode. One guy tells a girl, Hey, if I were to ask you to marry me, Like, what do you think about that? He doesn't ask her, but he just says like, hey, I'm floating that, and she's like, I'm I'm really into this other guy and he's like devastated. So then he goes to the other girl on his like his number two. He proposes to her, but um it, and she's like, I don't want to be this your second choice and she basically is and he's honest with her about it, which I liked. But then there's there's then they get them all together, and so then they finally see the girl that they like twin to first, and by that time they've already started to have tension in their relationships with this person just looks perfect to them, and it's so juicy. And death would be amazing death because there would be no death. Yeah, you just walk up and you're like like, like this death is so funny because it would literally be a three second show. It'd be like, yeah, fucker, I mean, that's what happens. That's pretty much any like loud bar. Yeah, I love his death is just a loud bar people all, but that's what happened. It is interesting because you will get to a point in a relationship where your partner might find you there's I was talking to Chris about this because we were watching and I go, it really looks should not if you're looking to have like a partnership till the end where it's just one person. Looks obviously are going to play a part in it, but you should wrap your head around dating someone who you're never you're not going to find sexually tractive at all, because you're she's going to be an eighty year old woman some day. Bottom line, that's Oh, she's gonna be thirty eight some day she's and and I go, because I said to Chris, I was like, I'm gonna if we stayed together, I'm going to be eighty nine someday, and you won't want to suck eight nine year olds. He goes, I don't want to nine year old, I know, But I was just like, like, men are more about like looks I think than women, at especially women but I think there's a difference between Like I think if I'm aging with a woman, and let's say, like I want to put my best even though I haven't at times and I've gotten as ugly as I think I could get. I think there's something about like trying to at least stay attractive for your partner where at some point time takes its toll and there's nothing you can do. That's what I'm saying. I still see like an active old Like I'll see an active eight year old woman who's like doing like you know, um ba, and I'll be like, oh, that's fuckable, you know what I mean, she's at least like moving her body and like still being Then you got like a five year old guy or girl who's just like eating fucking corn plus just sitting on the couch, like just letting themselves go because they're older, and it's just like, yeah, that's but I think if you stay like yeah, but I'm just saying, like, I'm just saying that eventually, looks will face. I mean, you all know it, looks will fade. And if you are invested in someone only because of the way they look, watch out, because it's gonna be a bumpy road because eventually you're gonna feel and that that attraction you have in the beginning where you're all over each other is not sustainable. It just isn't. And it just if if that is what you think that you're gonna have forever, I mean, there's no I don't. There's no one besides Corney Kardashian and Travis Barker who have been able to keep that like intense all over each other, you know, fucking like rabbits vibe going for that long. You can about you can have little moments of it, like when you return from a trip you haven't seen each other in a while. You they get a new haircut, there's like some you go on vacation. You can have these moments of like little snippets of that. Again, But so do you think it helps Travis Barker and I mean they both have had kids on their own, they met their similar age, they've both been through and they're in online and that they get to get attention for it, yes, of course makes it. They have like a boy they haven't been together like six months, but think he's like, I can't believe that really managed I'm making a check because obviously they're not going to fucking left. That's not gonna last. But I think it's easier, Like, do you think staying attracted to one Like let's say you meet him three and now they're fifty five and you, you know, do you lose attraction to them when you're growing older with him? Or if you were fifty five and you met another fifty five year old, it would be easier to be like, oh, she's sucking hot. Does that make sense? I think that you tend to be attractive to the people that are your like for for me at least as a woman like I can be attracted to younger people for sure, but I definitely think that older people I'm not attracted to until I get that age generally, except for William Hurt, which is the weirdest thing really Hurt was. I was thirteen when I saw Michael, the movie where John Travolta was playing the angel, and I was horny for William Hurt. I don't understand it. I oh my god, he just died yesterday. And then it turns out he also beat Marley Mantlin like terribly when he was pretty much ike turnering her their entire like four year relationship. It's all so whenever if anyone's r I p um William Hurt just add to it. Like also, he like really beat up Marley Matlin all throughout the relationship, and his baby Bama prior to Marley Matlin also used to get beat up by him all the time. So uh, Actor broadcast news was great, Oh my god. And Michael though, he was just so gentle and sweet and let's talk about no. I mean like it's the separating the artists from the cigarettes will kill you and give you cancer. But I was watching the Tina Turner documentary on Hulu Tina over the weekend and loved it so good. But I could turn her beat the ship out of her. We all know from the beginning, like as soon as they started like dating. At first, she was just like an older brother type like helping her along. And then all of a sudden he decided like I'm changing her name to Tina Turner, and I own that name. I own you. I you know. When they divorced, she didn't have any rights to anything and she got all of his, Like she is so amazing. Anyway, I was just watching it and I go, what the funk happened to Ike Turner when he was a baby, Like in a child, God only knows. Like men who beat women unfortunately, Like if you could like shrink them down to a little child that like what they witnessed and what led them to be that person, you would feel very sad for them. So as much as I'm like I hate obviously anyone who beats there like William Hurt, I'm just like, oh, something something happened to him. So I have a little bit of empathy for fucking abusers. I don't think they're like they should, like obviously they should protect themselves from people and get help for what they're doing, and like that's that's up. There's no free wheel, so they don't have a choice. But I just see, like when I hear someone is like beating someone up, I turned her. I was just I was kind of sad for him as much as I was at FORTEENA. I know that sounds crazy, but I was like that poor guy, Like what the funk happened to him that made him I think beating women was. It's it's always some kind of trauma. I'm not kidding you. I feel like sometimes like guys will use I was hurt when I was three, unless it's it's not excusable, but unless it's real sociopathy, which is like where you know, like there's some there's one serial killer who was truly raised well and had a good family and it just doesn't make sense. But generally, much like on my six hundred pound life, if you look at people who abuse, who abuse, people abuse substances, there is always always some trauma from childhood. That is on my six hunder pound life. I gotta say nearly every single time they start out and the person like they show their life and they're like how much they eat and what they're daily like schedule is, and like their neighblers getting them food, and then the music starts going ting ting ting ting, and then the pictures of their childhood and then you find out when they were molested. Every single time, every time it's it's so the correlation is there's just no there's just no denying it. It would be funny like a like a parents like, oh no, we didn't hurt them. We just trained them to be a serial killer. Like like they were like, alright down, Tommy, we're gonna show you what a knife and a gun is there might be people like my mom just listen to a lot of murder podcasts, like there's gonna be a new batch of serial killers, like I just grew up a yeah, yeah, I just like I just listened to Morbid in the car with my mom on the way to school. Fired, shots fired, break already, I can't see sorry? Oh news? Yeah yeah, I thought you had good eyes. I did. That's why I said break a break before news. I think we're just going to new Yeah. Are you new to the show? What show? First time here? First time without curls? Uh? News, Let's get to the news you. Oh man, It's Monday, folks. You know what that means. It is Monday. I hope you're having all the swells out there. We sure did this weekend. It was a very nice sixty eight and sunny here in St. Louis for one day, and before that degrees on Saturday sixty On Sunday it was nuts. It's five o'clock somewhere, Okay, Noah, take it away, all right. Anya Marina is playing Rockwood Music Hall on March seventeen, starting seven pm. This Why Do I Care? That's the name of a segment on ye go, it will be amazing your Marina. And Andrew Colin will be performing with Nicki Glazer on tour on you know, we start up very soon Winnipeg, Vancouver, Austin, Texas, Jacksonville, Florida. So I mean Endless, Pennsylvania. So many dates, um go check out those dates at Nikki Glazer dot com. And where can they get tickets for your show? On you on your website, on your marina dot com. Lots of good stuff there. All right, all right, I'm gonna skip to the second story just so we can, um, because I want to know if you've ever thought about this. A study found that when entering an elevator, people stood in each corner just by human nature. M hmm. I think if you're a guy and you there's three yurnals, you're gonna not pick the middle yurnal because it's almost like picking the middle seat of a flight, because you're gonna end up back to someone if someone else comes in. Yeah you don't want Yeah, you don't want to see someone. I once read that, like, if you get on an elevator, how funny it would be to just face the way you walked in? Like why do we have elevator. How weird it would be, but it would be like a yeah, that is a serial killing is wild? Um yeah. Elevator etiquette eliquette is yeah, but you pick a corner because you also just don't want to be creepy and stand too close to someone. And do you like standing by the face board? Are you one of those people? Why do you do you prefer to stand in the corner where the buttons are you can help push them for people. We got buttons on both sides. Um six. I like pushing my buttons myself. I hate when someone's like what FLOORI and I'm like yeah, and they always there's a pause there where they want to be treated like a king for doing it, like you hit one, you hit eleven? Like stop, like you had fun doing it? You like seeing it laid up? Where do you stand when you walk in? If no one's in the elevator, of course I go to the buttons. If one person is in the elevator close to the buttons, I go far away from them. Are you afraid of they're fearing an elevator, like as a woman, like especially if it's like thirty floors, like did the floors amount to more? Fear like this lower D elevator, the older D elevator, Like, what's the woman, just because like if a guy comes on and you're oh, I thought you meant like a rickety elevator. No, no, no, I just mean like like being in there with a with a guy that you don't know it's stranger. Um, you know, it depends on the vibe they're giving off. Yeah, I'm gonna like, I'll just get off on a I would just protect myself and get off. Even if I press like floor seventy and the guy's a creep, I would press a floor right away to get off. Um good one glazer, Yeah, and just go oh I forgot like and I wouldn't even make an excuse. I just feel like you're creepy. Like owning when a guy is creeping you out is a good thing to do. The other night, I was walking Luigi and it was at night, and this guy came out of nowhere running. I heard first of all. I heard running first, and before you get attacked as a woman, generally, the guy's gonna just just you know, like like a jaguar stalking. They're slow and then it's and then it's fast. I mean, it's gonna be like four four like and then it's they're gonna get you. And so he came out of nowhere running and I just go, oh my god, like I screamed, like he was about to attack me. He was like, I'm so sorry. He was running back into he forgot his phone in a restaurant, and he was just you know, like when you're just sort of like fun, I forgot thought, and he was like when I go, you can't run when you're a man at night, you can't don't run. Ever, He's like, I forgot this steak knife. I brought it from the restaurant. I'm telling, oh my god, I can't believe it many to like lay off of running around women at night, it's so scary. Yeah, it was not good. But in the elevator the other day, I find that when I have Luigi, because usually I'm just taking him out for a walk, um, he becomes the topic of conversation and people go oh, and Luigi starts to like smell them and I'm trying to like pull him away because he just wants to smell her shoe, and they often go He's so cute, and I go thanks, and then my my line is I birthed him because it's like when it's not a very responsibility that he's like, I go thanks, like I have some kind of saying it, like I can that I see it, I can see it in yeah. Uh. Next story, a student interrupts her online class as she starts venting about a breakup over three minutes. Other students tried to warn her in the chat that she was not muted, and everyone was confused why the teacher didn't mute her. She was also going so she talking to someone else? Yeah, so I think happened basically because one of the other students posted this on TikTok of course, and um, I think she probably like picked up a phone call, thought she muted her class, and she started telling her friend about the breakup. She also talked about how she drove her car the wrong way down a one way road for over three minutes. Robert Durst of how he found out that teacher sucks. It's in defense of the teacher. The teacher did offer to stay stay after class, and some people were saying, like maybe the teacher didn't know how to mute the student on the program. Well, this the teacher could have just cut in and said, hey, you're you're But I think there's sometimes teachers just you know, the teacher that you're doing something embarrassing or you're talking, and they just stay silent and wait for you to be embarrassed or something like so that the whole they just kind of like play with the idea that they can kind of humiliate you. Yeah, I think it's I don't like this teacher. I think they should have interrupted because they have the girl turned the volume of the class down and couldn't hear people like, hey, put your mute back on. Yeah, okay, maybe we don't have the whole story. Um. Also, if I were that teacher, I would have let it run to something funny about her turning down her teacher because she's like, I don't want to learn about biology. Meanwhile he's telling her that she's given away her secrets, but she So who's in fault there? The girl that had already turned down the teacher? No, what's that? No? The girl is, Yeah, yeah, the girl is. I mean, what's the most embarrassing thing you guys have done on his Like, have you guys had seen anything embarrassing, done anything embarrassing? On a zoom. I mean, I just remember teachers going out being out of line with me in person. But you have you seen anything on zoom where someone thought they were muted and they did something embarrassing? Yeah? What have you seen? I was just on a zoom where some but it was like so greatful, like talking about how grateful they were that their partner got them a dozen roses on Valentine's Day and they were like, I just thought it was really sweet and like a surprise. And then out of nowhere you hear someone go, I'd like to order a dozen roses and they're making a vocal from the girl and loudly, and no one muted them and they were like, yes, one dozen roses, it's a delivery. Was everyone laughing? It was awkward. Yeah, that is so funny. Funny when people don't know how to mute and it just they're scrambling and you're like, just make me a co host so I can do this. Yeah, that was that was recent. No, what did you so? Wi? It wasn't um something that someone said, but the program that we were using, it put this one guy up on like the first page, and um, all of a sudden, I noticed him like picking his ear and then like looking at it and like rolling it around and then like pulling his eyebrow thing going back into his ear, like just I guess he I don't know if he just as comfortable or if he if he just forgot or didn't think that anyone could see him. I don't know. I feel like, yes, we should keep all that stuff to ourselves. But who does not pick their nose? By the way, who the fund doesn't? I don't who is someone who would never pick I understand not doing it in front of people and like trying to be but to act like you don't pick your nose? What do you do when you have a booker up there? Just come on, I got my nose on perfect strangers really might have ate it. I don't know he ate it. I wasn't going to bring it up, but I'm glad that I wasn't going to say it. I really wasn't. I was your story. I really was not. I told you I wasn't going to ever share that, but you share everything around it that you know. I can't hold myself. I mean, I love that you're sharing it, but like, yeah, we hadn't dare you make me say this. I really wasn't going to say it because I just felt like we There is a video of Andrew looking out of a window during a writer's meeting, maybe on a ledge, and picking his nose and then eating it. And this was during a writer's meeting, the final writer's meeting of Perfect Strangers. And I love in the video because you can hear me furiously typing, like like you know, we were supposed to do right at that moment, and he ate it. He did it twice. Actually it was one eat, one second pick. I think it was eating both times. You like you stopped at your mouth for eating. It was more of a tasty eating. I got a bowl of boogers. I don't have a bowl. Was tasting. It's like a wine tasting where you like pick your buggers and then swish them around your mouth and spit them out. Yeah, my boogers. Also when you bite, you bite your nails. Just when I am not judging, I swear to God, I'm not judging you a booger. Never really, you know, I would admit that. I don't know. I don't care. I just you karate chop your ship. It's just no karate shop by ship. I'm sorry. I didn't mean I would glad. I was talking about it that day. Yeah, yeah, I will touch my own poop to like Karate chop it. But then I washed my hand off, but I didn't. I don't eat it. Why did you kate? Because it wasn't going down and I just didn't want to make There wasn't any plunger. There was only a brush, and I didn't want the brush to have like ship on it. So I us put my hand and I chopped it in half with my fingers, and then I went to the sink and I scrubbed my fingers like I you know, like I was trying to scrape off the skin. I got it, and I kept smelling them after I dry it and do it again, you know, just to make sure it got underneath the nails, on the paper towel everything. And it was laughing so hard. It was just like maybe one or two stabs. Yeah, but I lost the taste for them after ten, I think, and I wonder why now, But I would eat pieces of skin that I pick off. I love pieces of skin. Oh my god, it's a dust and snot mucus. It's your body's defense to you know, it's it's like pus, so it is like eating your own skin. It's your body. Yeah, I would eat a scab too. I probably a scape. One time my tongue fell off and I ate that. Wait wait wait wait, we gotta go to break. We're coming back. Wait wait wait, Cliffhanger, Columbine and on your tongue. We'll be right back and we'll learn about Columbine. We have a great details about that coming up that you've never heard of. And then also when any ate her tongue, I believe I know the story, but it's a good one and I can't wait here to get all right, we're back on you tell us what you mean when you say I ate my tongue. Okay. I was in Moscow, Russia, at a museum with my family and I had a sore throat and my mom was like, oh, you need to suck on a vitamin C. And she pulls she has vitamins in her purse and we're walking around this museum and she hands me like a horse pill sized vitamin C, like something that you swallow, and I was like, this is not a chewable this is and she goes, no, no, No, you put it on your tongue and just slowly suck on it, very slowly, and it's like you will have north north no sore throat within an hour or two. I was like, all right, so I listened to my mom. I put it on my tongue. I'm walking around the museum very slowly for an hour sucking on this thing. Not wildly sucking on it, just normal, you know. And then I'm like, I feel weird. And I go in the bathroom an hour later and I look at my tongue and I'm like, what the fuck? And there is the exact shape of this horse pill on my tongue. The pills now gone, it's dissolved, and it's just a white thing on my tongue and I'm like, what is that. I touched it and it lifts off and it's a huge chunk of my tongue that has no blood. It's just super red under it. Yeah, it like dissolved the top layer of my tongue. I'm I'm saying like like three four elimator millimeters like a lot, yes, and I and then I'm like, what the funk? And then I'm fascinated by it because It's almost the size of a tablet. And then I somehow detach it and I'm holding a piece of my tongue and I just go, oh, my fucking god, and then I ate it. It was like involuntary. I just could not eat it. It was so weird. And then I walked out of the bathroom. I told my sister, I go, dude, part of my tongue just fell off and I ate it and I stuck my tongue out and she could not stop laughing. She's like, what the fun? There was a huge hole in your tongue. Could you like keep your praising it? Like could you keep like a stack of three pennies in the hole perfectly? Like fill it up? You could put an earpod in it almost definitely like this whole part of an earpod. What yeah? Yeah? And then it grew back on you. I wonder if rejuvenated like in your cells, like and then went right to your tongue. You know what is it about? Like things like having a craving Last night, I um, I was craving pickles. So there's just times where I just want pepper chenie, Like I could eat an entire jar of those or pickles, you know, And so I googled it to see, like what does it mean when you're craving pickles? And it means you're thirsty. It means you're, you know, dehydrated and you need to drink more water. Why don't I crave water when I'm dehydrated? Like why pickles? Then like there's gotta be something else, and it's you want sodium when you're really Yeah, but it doesn't make sense to me why you would want pickles. But I just got I can I just ate an entire jar of pickles? It was so freaking good. Do you think if you chug water you would still want pickles? I think you kind of would. I think it would sat And it's like I think you'd want them less. I do. I do believe after reading that. Yeah, But there's just sometimes where I'm just like craving a certain food and like, what's going on here? Girl Scout cookies? And it's like, what's your favorite Girl Scout cookie? Oh my god? Yeah, this is an elevator conversation I had with the two women the other day. I go, we're talking Girl Scout cookies. So she goes, I hate coconut I will not eat coconut and the other girls like I love And I was like, is this girl scout talk? I was like, yeah, I love Samoa purple box. Wait, samoa is what's samoa? Is that the coconut Those the ones that are like rings and they have coconut and then chocolate driss on top and they're like brown, like toasted. Oh she had thin mint and the peanut butter, thin mint and a freezer. It's a hard cream. I do like thin mints, but it's not like I'm not writing. I'd rather just have like a really warm chocolate chip cookie. Like they're not better than anything else. That would be deconant. I think a lot of people are. And the peanut butter cookies there one of the chocolate and then the peanut butter inside. Oh yeah those I've never had those because I used to hate peanut butter as a kid. But I bet they're really good. I'm never zest. I cannot go. I'm I'm doing pretty whatever, doing pretty good, like I'm being like in shape and eating well and what all that. And then around thirty pm, I just they just start talking to me. The cookies. I could hear them. I'm not even kidding. Sugar is insane, addictive, There's just no question about it. But I think I wonder if they're not, if they weren't in the house, would I still have knowing that they're that close. It's just a problem, But I also, you know, but it's also de Yeah, you gotta live a little because if you don't, the second you get around something, you're gonna go fucking wild. It's always struck me as wild that you don't, Nikki, you don't really have a big sweet too, You can't. I have the biggest I lived on candy as a kid. Sweet. I go to the sweet factory of them all spend seven dollars, which back in a fucking ton of money to spend on candy, and I would just get, you know, the gummy bottle caps, the gummy gummy peat drinks, gummy watermelons, chocolate covered gummy bears. Uh nerds, nerds. I mean, I I love, I love, I love sugar. I just don't let myself have it because I just can't control myself around it. It's just not worth. It's just the same as alcohol. And and um oh no, I thought, um, there's this thing smart sweets that I really like that are like lower sugar, and I have those sometimes, but I find that if you don't have it, you don't crave it. Yes, you know, it's like the same with um, you know, alcohol and weed. Like I love it, I definitely like I want it all the time when I'm having it, but if I don't have it, I just kind of it's just I just put it in the category of like it's just off limits to me. I just can't. It doesn't make me feel it makes me feel insane, you know. I feel like with drinking, like sugar could honestly be more of an addiction than drinking, just because like you could just eat sugar and it's like it's not that big. But an alcohol, like to me, it's like there's an immediate effect of alcohol too. There is an immediate effect. I mean drunk and you say stupid things and I know, but I'm just thinking of like when I would drink, it wouldn't be like, oh no, I'm just gonna try to get one in before I go to bed, you know, It's like it would be like for a thing. So like when I have alcohol in the house, it doesn't call my name as much. As the fucking thin mint would. Right, I'm different. It's funny. I'm writing a song right now called give Me Sugar, and it's all about that. It's about how like, well, I used to drink, I used to smoke, so like, just give me some sugar. That's all I want, Like I used to do all these other things, which sugar is like my last thing. And it's just like a desperate song from the point of view of a total addict. And it's really funny. I love that and you can hear it at Rockwood at seven pm, yes on Thursday night. Yeah. Nice promo. If you're reading the book club of the Week for the Besties, um Bussi's book club that we announced on them, well, I'm on on our Instagram. It's called Talking with Strangers. We're Talking to Strangers, Talking Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell There. I just read chapter nine last night and it's all about alcohol and it really opened my eyes to some things about alcohol that I did not know and I'm excited to discuss them when we all read that book together. Know we're probably gonna do it later after after the break the season to break, but um, we have two episodes for you this week, so it's going to be this one and also tomorrow. But it's Monday, so you know what that means. Top one, bottom one. Let's do it. The category today is bad words bad words. Your favorite bad word, your least favorite bad word, and I'm going to eliminate the obvious worst bad word, yes, because that's but that's not even a word I would like put in with bad words. There's a little bad word. It's bad bad. Yeah, yeah, it's a bad word. It would get leaped on TV even if you know who, no matter who, seven would say, right, sure, But okay, so bad words just anything that would make a kid go like that's bad. Yeah. Um, so I'm just gonna remove the N words because I just don't want to get like, okay, you actually think motherfucker's worse than the N word? Obviously the N word Trump's all um as do any slurs. So let's start with bad because we always do that on you. What is your least favorite curse word? If slurs are allowed, no they're not, they're not. I would say like racial slurs are not allowed because they should all be just like obviously, there goes your there goes your favorite, there goes my best. I don't like it when a guy says a girl's a bitch or like a a slut maybe, but when a girl does, I don't know why. When a guy does it, I'm like, all right, or I guess the obvious one is the C word? Um is it? Because I love the C word? But um, okay, what are we doing here? Bitch is so you're you're a framing it like it wouldn't men say it? Or what about if a woman called you a bit? It's I guess if it's in a hateful sense of a guy being like, she's such a fucking slut, I think we're thinking of this as well. I guess it could be okay, yes, context of like what is funny, that's a different thing. But if they really mean it, I'm kind of like it's a turn off. I mean, yeah, it's it's a mean word, but I feel like any word that once you're at least favorite of all the things that a man could call a woman. Yeah, slut overcont over, bitch? Yeah think so, my mom. Never sorry, I'm going to say bitch because I did get into a huge fight with an X about he whispered you're a bitch in my ear really quietly, and we had a huge fight. And that was and I remember like whispering because he was talking about how much he loved this Jackson Brown song and I was like, didn't he like abuse Daryl Hannah? And we got into some fight about that, and then he whispered in my ear, you're a fucking bitch, and he left and then we had a huge fight and then we broke up. I think that was the worst thing I ever heard. And then you beat a two leader of water. It was a gallon of water. I think I did that story. I so bitch for me, though sometimes I don't want to call my mom a bit because for obvious reasons, teenage angst. She was one. You know, yeah, adults as well, but teenage angst that still permeates my adulthood. Um, my mom, nothing would set her off more than calling her. But it was the number obviously, you know, but like in a way that I've never seen my mom so angry, you know, like it it would be because guess what. I remember someone saying this about some woman and they were like, you know, I called her crazy ones and you know who hates being called crazy crazy people, and so honestly, my mom when she would be this. My sister and I talked about it the other day and we were saying, how, um, how we were remembering how like calling my mom a bitch would be like the worst thing ever. And I remember just switching it to be I would be like, you're being a b right now, because it was just such it would just set her off and make her so she couldn't you You wouldn't even she couldn't function if you you. It would just it would take a calm and an argument from a place of like getting things out and like kind of accomplishing your anger to like just no just unbridled anger. And my sister said, it's it's weird that mom hated that word because she could call us. We got called bitches all the time, both lovingly and in an anger, but calling my mom that, I it just was it was it was. I don't know why she hated that word so much, because I've never really hated being called a bit. I think I'd rather be called a bit by my kid than when they start calling you by your real name. Calling a man a bitch is such a different meaning, but you know what I mean, Like Andrew Todd if my kid was like, okay, Andrew, Oh god, yeah, that kid is getting But to calling a woman a bitch firstus calling a man a bit very different, very different kind of bitches. It's like, well, calling a man a bitches saying he's a woman or he's saying he's weak. Where you're calling a woman a bitch is almost like you're too strong, Like tone it down? Why does that so? Um? My least favorite one is probably when men say titties. It's just disgusting to me, like her titties. Um, it just grosses me out. I don't want. I don't like that word. I don't think men should use that word. Um is fine, boobs, breasts. I'm going to add also, but breast isn't a bad word. But breast is almost more disgusting than titties. Um, I don't want. Like some The other day, this guy was miking me on set for Perfect Strangers Too, and he was like, and you could just took the wire up beneath your breast, and I was like, oh god, I would prefer him to. It was just so like I just didn't like it, so I'm gonna go with titties, Andrew, what's your least favorite, my least favorite, I'm I'm kind of I think steering a little bit away from it. But I think this will make you angry too. It's when someone writes on Instagram or Facebook and they spell ship or fuck and they just take one letter and make it the right right. They put an exclamation mark for the eye and ship or like that other thing that I don't know what that sign or the asterix, yeah, an asterix instead to feel like that they're like a better person. Oh so they're because some people do it on TikTok because so it doesn't get flagged. I get that. Yes, I don't think it's It doesn't bother me. I understand trying to keep your like, keep it clean for the kids. I know that it's just like the same thing because I have a shirt that says like fun factory Farming, and I would not wear it if it said the word funk, but it says f you know, uh asterix c K, and it just is that way. I can wear that really in your mind to me, it just know it's I know it's the same, but it's just like It's just I there's something about seeing the word funk that is a lot more intense. If it doesn't have that, it softens it in a way for me, at least to me. It hardens to me. I'm like, I pay more attention to it. I go, oh, fuck, no, what's your least favorite? My least favorite, uh is idiot calling someone an idiot because I think it's like not empathetic at all. Yeah, it is mean when I when I sometimes slip and say it, I it's like it leaves a taste in my mouth, like I'm just like, oh that wasn't that was? It just feels so it's me and like you just don't the person's background, and it's like the complete lack of empathy. I just think that's my least favorite anything they say. It's like a way to be like you're just an idiot. Like then it's like okay, well now yes say it. Maybe like you idiot is a little bit more loving, but being like you're such a fucking idiot like that is fuck it though, is really fun. Call yourself fucking idiot is funny. Yeah yeah, yeah, I'm a idiot idiot. Although those words matter, I know, that you think. They don't. They don't when someone like says bad things to yourself. I used to think it didn't matter. But if you, like, say, if you speak to a plant and call it a fucking idiot or a glass of water, They've done like studies like language and like talk like. I used to think that you could just say to your dog, like if it was like in a nice tone, like a fucking idiot, you're a dumb little piece of ship, that it wouldn't matter. But they realized that animals actually know what you're saying, so even if you do it in a tone, it could hurt his feelings. So I only I never do that to Luigi. I used to think it was really funny to say mean things and like a cute voice, and now I don't do it. I always say I love you, I love you so much, I love you, and I was just kidding m and I only say nice things now. But it used to be like a bit I did. But now I know that dogs actually understand the difference between you know, they're all dogs in New Yorker cartoons. Okay, let's go to final thought and go through our favorites. Any favorite bad word Oh, you know what. My my friend Bob is German, and I never knew how to say ship in German. But it's shayza and he says this thing and I say it all the time. Whenever he's you know, stubs his toe or whatever. He always goes, shi is a manelli And I say it all the time. And that's fun. Um wait, what was that one? Uses? Uses juices? You taught me the Russian and it means what horrible uses. I love that word, but that's not mine mine. But um, that one's a good one? Is fun? Yeah, I do like a jokey kind of like fudge cycle whatever it is like that you say, Like, Um, I'm trying to think of a good one, but I can't right now. Man, I heard some funny. I was listening to an interview with I'm becoming I'm coming becoming like obsessed. I have a new obsession Phoebe Bridgers, the musician, and I'm I'm kind of like consuming everything about her right now because I'm just like into it. And she was talking about she was doing this Rolling Stone interview and she just kept dropping all of these like jarget like just kind of like fun words, and she said, um uh, when when you're out in public and you get recognized when you're like an indie artist or like it's called rock ignized, which I liked. And then she also said that me and you know, me and Connor overs were torbeting for a while, which is like when you're on tour and you like sometimes are in the same city. I liked that a lot too. I like where it's like, yeah, she's it's it's good stuff. Um okay, my favorite one is probably it's it's probably count. I like it because it just packs, it packs a punch it. I don't I think it's kind of like it's so aggressive that I feel like it takes. I would never really call someone a count, I don't think. Um, I just it just feels crunchy. I like it. I would never use it to describe my actual vagina, you know. Yeah, that would be as creepy as today. Yeah, that would be really that would be awful. Yeah that sounds like how a rapist calls a vagina. You have a U T I and my count. So it's like all of a sudden, Nis novel. It's funny anything of a doctor just being like, so your cunt um, we're talking about your count like it's like a medical term, like I would love that doctor. I think, oh, dick is my favorite word. I like the word dick too, A lot of it in a sexual cont text. I just love dick like he's a dick. Let me suck your dick. I just like it. I think it's just it's another crunchy word and it just covers a lot any bad word that you could use multiple different ways. It's just so versatile. Yeah. Um, I remember the first time I said fuck. I was sixteen. I had never before. I was kind of a goody two shoes and I was driving alone and it hit me on the drive, no one is in this car. I can say whatever I want. Oh my god, I could say the F word and I was like, are you ready to say this? I don't know if you could say we never said. I had never said the first time we say it? When I was eleven. I remember my friends would make fun of me because I would spell out sex. I'd be like, so wait if they had SCX. And then I drove home and I could not Once I said funk once, it was like I could not stop. I was like, fuck, fucking motherfucker. It was so fun and it was like I never stopped for the rest of my life. It's the best. I remember saying when time I was watching or my parents were talking about someone and I was like, God, he's such a prick. And I was like fourth grade and they were like, you do not Where did you get there from? It's like, where do you think? Full house? You pricks? That's where I got it from. Like fucking prick. That's a good one, all right, what's your favorite? Yeah? Just just it's the best word. You could do so much with comedically, it is just it's a little sprinkle of every It's like everything. Uh uh, what's the everything? Yeah? Like that the you know, the what is it? The seasoning? It's like a seasoning to any joke you put in fox and it's, you know, the classics thing of like if you're comedian, you're trying out new material. Put put funk all over the joke and it's going to get more laughs. And then as it becomes enough to support itself funny enough, take the fox out and if it's still funny, and then you'll know if you have a good joke. Do you feel that like with like taking it out and then it's a good joke. Then if you realize, oh, it could be funny without it, but you kind of just like saying it because that's how you would tell a story anyway, you need to take it out. I'm just saying, like, a joke should be able to I think stand without it unless it's you know, I just love a story that feels like you're excited to tell it, and I think sometimes a fuck like and then he fucking like was like it's a plate holder, like the word like like I could take it out, but it doesn't sound conversational. That's not how I talk without saying like, so you can leave it in because I I did a set this past weekend and something happened to me on the way to the venue, and I opened with a story about and it was so fun, but I did say funk a lot because I was still heated about what happened. This guy cut me off, and it's it was and this guy in a Dodge Charger he fucking cut no, but he cut me off. And he's the one with the tinted windows, you know, like so you don't know what's in there, but you know a Dodge charger comes with a gun package or whatever. I don't want to do the whold joke, but I was so nervous about yelling at the guy because he attended windows and I didn't know what, but I was like, I want to kill like he coming off in a way where like he planned it, like it was bad. It was really bad, Like I almost you know what you should do is just slow down and not deal with it, and not because that person. Of course, they're off on purpose. Come on, Andrew, do you your girlfriend in the car? No? I had my fucking Mr five your girl for your other girl? Yeah, my other girlfriend, your girlfriend before you met what's her name? This one? Dry one? This fucking idiot, cunt bitch. Okay, so what did you do? We gotta go, So I go to yell at him, and I drive up and I don't know what I'm gonna say, like I I obviously I don't even think I was gonna say anything, but I wanted to really say something. And he rolls down his window next to me, and I'm like, oh, he's already anticipating me. You get shot, dude. He pulls out a five dollar bill and gives it to a homeless man. I swear to God, and so like if I yelled at him, I would just be God, give me money to a home. Like and I was like, how is this the same guy? Like it blew my mind, Like that's so funny, so funny. How is that the same guy? He was like in a hurry to do five for you, five for you, like held out, he goes five for you, five for you, like two different homeless. Have you ever given a homeless person over? But I gave a guy a Dodge charger who's giving money to a homeless person. A look, all right, that's so funny. God. I love when life gives you like a bit, like a thing like that. That's just so absurd that you can and on the way to the show, you're already thinking of materially trying to think of like new stuff, something that you can be excited about, and you hate your old stuff, and you're like, just give me something that I could be excited about, and then that story I'll hate in like two weeks or they get great. Did you see that was my face on the wall there? I don't know, maybe it was like in the showroom room. Yeah, it looks like you've been out there. It's really I just know that my face is on the wall. I've never had my like put picture. There's what maybe one other club that has like you know, they always have like comedians on the wall, and there's I only saw one face, and of course it was Chappelle. And I don't even know where I saw it, if it was outside or inside or whatever. But yeah, I opened for Anthony DeVito, who if you don't know who he is? So funny did he's fucking the best even off stage to du Anthony DeVito is he really is? We got dinner beforehand and it was like he's doing a special, like a one man show about his dad who got murdered. Oh my god, mob shit whoa yeah, which is going to come out. He's going to Edinburgh to work whatever. Anyways, so check check out Anthony DeVito. We'll be back tomorrow. Yeah, go see Anya at Rockwood Music Hall, um and we will be back tomorrow with one more episode. There's a two episode week, but we'll see you tomorrow. Don't be cut and Jack Rockwood