#188 Remember The Day

Published Mar 10, 2022, 2:00 AM

Nikki is adamant about getting rid of the Ego and Andrew is adamant about getting good water pressure. After receiving a critique Nikki is questioning her efforts of trying something new. You Heard It Here First, a bat prank, FBoy Island's Garret gets stuck and the best way to not get a stroke. They play Ester Perel's Where Should We Begin? Game about the days they miss. In the Final Thought Andrew found himself in an unlikely place.

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The Nicky Glazers Here, Nicky, Hello here, I am welcome. It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast. We're back in St. Louis, Missouri. Well, Noah is in Arizona, but Andrew and I are back in the Loo. No one really calls it that, do they know? Um, Nelly did? I'm from the Loop and I'm proud that the first time you ever heard it? I think so. Yeah, I think Kirkwood High School. No, well, I don't think it was. But maybe I wasn't really aware. I didn't have a lot of like hometown pride back when I was a teen, you know, like you're just like everywhere, like like everywhere's better than here, like you just want to get out. I wasn't like St. Louis is the best, but I wasn't like small Pound. No, No, St. Louis is the I think it's the most populous city of six that's pretty up there. Yeah it is, um And I feel like I traveled enough as a child that I saw like, oh this is I didn't feel like you know, when people hear Missouri, they think it's like farmland, which a lot of it is. But um no. But in regards that you said you wanted to get out, That's why, because I just wanted to like be, I wanted to do like Felicity and like go to New York and like there's there's bigger things out there, Like I just I just wanted to do something. I just wanted to be. Like that was my way of like rebelling, even though there's no rebellion. There are things you know about St. Louis that like three things and no one would know being from here. Like, um, I I say that saying that I could live in a place for thirty years and no less than someone that just does want tour. Well, I feel like there's nothing that I know like historically that is that my dad could like really I think St. Louis? Yeah, yeah, like a guy, what's the story. I don't know my grant grandfather's name. I'm not going to know the history of St. Louis. I know Lewis and Clark came through here. Oh is that the Lewis I know that. I don't know. I literally don't know anything about St. Louis at all, about the founding of it. I don't know when where I'm from Missouri was made into a state. I don't know if it was part of the Louisiana purchase. I don't know anything. It's so embarrassing Missouri part of the South or the north. It's like in the middle. It's the Midwest. It's not the South. Even though if you get into the bootheel, which I think that you assumed we were in prior to like a week ago, that's when you're getting down to Arkansas. Arkansas's house. Yeah, how is it being back for you? What? Just the last day? It was good? Yeah, I mean we got in last night at like eight or nine o'clock the l Yeah, I mean it was a long day travel. I was pretty You know when you get off a plane and you're like, oh, I'm whine a week. I'm like with it, but then you're kind of also out of it at the same time, like you're tired or didn't you even know. I think that's kind of what I was. But had Brandon picked me up, it is nice. We uh had some Thai food when I got back waiting for me, which is nice, unreal, and then we took a shower. Dude, I don't know what your water pressure situation was in Mexico. The water pressure of this building is fantastic. Yeah, they're wasting a lot of while it's great. Yeah, I want a waterfall. I want fucking Niagara, just come in, yes, very much. I didn't really like a three spouts. Yes, you know you could change it on the think yeah, but just it gets worse. You think it's like on the worst setting already, and then you twist it and it's like, oh this it's I guess I should have appreciated what I had. But then you go back and it's not the same. No, it's not. It's never the same. So I was on that three clicks where I thought it was better hour together. That was like the you ate and then you took a shower together. She uh. We did this thing where we um, what's the bathrub the whatever, like the kind of like a loof of but it has like little exfolians in it. And we did that to each other's backs, and it's just like a nice thing because you don't wash your I don't wash my back. I haven't watched I don't think I've ever washed my back. It's not getting washed. No, I don't even know. My legs don't get washed unless I shave them. And that's just because I squeegee them with the um or I'm getting spray tand off. But I don't ever wash my legs or I don't wash my feet either. Well, they make that thing for your back, Yeah, I bought a lot of those. People do, like dry scrubs. People's the amount of time people spend on things that Like when I start getting on TikTok, that's where I start going, I'm out because I start thinking I'm not a good enough woman. I'm not like I don't care about like essential oils. I don't care about exfoliating. I don't do all those things that I'm supposed to do. I was supposed to have a I bought like a brush that are you're supposed to do like a dry brush first and scrape all the skins, wire your skins dry. No, what do you do all that stuff? Do you do a dry brush? Um? I just recently started doing one. But it's more for like circulation. Okay, yeah that's what they say too. So what's your shower routine? Like, how do you like prepare your let's talk about body. Let's like go away from face because that's a whole difference. You know, I do wash my back. I remember from the U Up days, Anya was like perplexed that you don't wash your legs, and I was like, do I wash my legs? So I always pay attention to just like wash everything ever since that show. Yeah, I'm just do pits um pussy ass crack and that's all I do. Yeah, all the pitch of my body, I just get those because those are the smelly places the rest of my my skin. Like it doesn't I don't know. I just don't feel like watching anything like that. It proves my back doesn't stinct, like fucking dogshit. Maybe I get it from the soap from washing. I feel like if I didn't have all the rundown from the shampoo and the condition and everything. And also shaving my legs does feel squeegee esque where you like you put on I put on conditioner just because it's like sometimes I run out of body wash and I just that is a continual thing that I forget and forget and forget to replenish. How important is water pressure? Do you you really get upset if it's too strong because you think it's absolutely I do well. I take really quick showers. I get upset just because I know that everyone else is really wasting so much water in here because I know how long men shower to like someone that it gets recycled, that it doesn't matter. I don't know that that's true, but you can tell yourself that. But yeah, water pressure is so important. I'm always grateful for it when it's ridiculous, but I like it, was so happy when I got into it. Yeah, like New York, when I would go, yeah, sorry, is it important to you if it's um if the like shower head is just a head, or do you need like with the with the cord. No, I've never used a chord, and I think that's where we're talking about getting the back real good if you have a chord. I would also say the cord with like women being like, I don't need a man, I've got this. Well, I can't understand how that could be. Yeah, like a cod. I I it's necessary to have the handheld one with the cord because I can't get my undercarriage otherwise I feel like it's not clean. Well, I just go and then I like cut water and I go like I bring the water to my vagina. I use that thing as a mike before and done like an hour set and yeah, you killed, I wouldn't say I killed. Yeah, you know there's a lot of pressure in there. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you. I would go to New York and when I would look at apartment, my first thing I would do is run in the bathroom, and the real estate agent would always look at me like weird a little bit, and I'm like, this is the most this is top three, the most important thing. We look for the mic thing. Oh no, no, no, oh yeah, yeah, that's so important if it got hot right away. I did that on this on this apartment, for sure. I ran it, and I remember, yeah, the real estate agent kind of being like, what are you doing? It's like that is so crucial. That's that's more crucial than like staying at a place to see if there's planes flaying overhead are going to wake you up all night or some kind of train going by, because that's I can always get white noise, but I can't get white water. I want white I want I want to feel like I'm going like standing under Niagara falls from pressure. It feels great. Head. That's what I want. Yeah, so you got in the shower, you did a scrub down, nice scrub and then um what we then we got in bed. I mean you start making love in the shower or you does it happen before? Now? We we we did the bed, we made love, but after you but I was tired. I was tired. I wish I was like I wanted to fucking be rabbiged. Sometimes I want to just ravish, you know. But my body's like, huh, I think you us combined radish and rabbage. Yeah, which word is it? Ravage? And you said ravish like it's yeah, you'll hear that for sure. Ye want to hear him say it again if you want to hear exactly what you said. Sometimes you do want to wrap radish ravish a radish sometimes radishes with a little salt on them. And like we used to make this thing called garbage. I don't know why we called a garbage. But every Sunday when there was golf on, and we would go for like a family hike and then we'd come back and leave. My parents would watch golf, which it's just very calming just to hear golf in the background, and I could just sit and kind of like binge on this. Like we would cut up radishes, green onions, carrots and celery, and you put in a big bowl of with water and you put a bunch of ice in it, so it's like ice cold all these veggies. And then you do a plate and you put salt on the plate and you take it out and you just swirl it on the plate and just eat. We called it garbage. I don't know what what why. That was no dip that we weren't like trying to diet or anything either, Like let me be clear, like this is a family that was not that way at all. But that was just a thing we did where and I would hear just golf tones on TV and he's chipping and golfing was associating, and then all of a sudden, two hours later it would be tonight on sixty minutes, I'm Leslie Stall, I'm Marley Safer, and then it would be like fuck, homework, got gotta go to school tomorrow. That was kind of the Sunday yeah, yeah minutes. The guy with the eyebrows, he was I always say that I have uh, oh you mean Andy Rooney. Yeah. See what I don't understand is air ports. And he was the first like kind of disgruntled comic. Oh my god, speaking of this just reminded me of what I wanted to remember last week where I totally lost my train of thought on the show we're talking about, I think we're probably talking about Ukraine or just like people like making things about themselves. I loved this one post that you sent me of someone who was like calling out comedians. There's a lot of that's going on right now on TikTok and Instagram reels of people making fun of celebrities for doing things to make Ukraine about themselves because they're like, oh fuck, I can't I can't post about myself. Like so there's soho there. You know, there's just a bunch of videos mocking celebrities about how they're gonna make it about themselves and like like acting like they're tearing up and all the stuff. I just want to say, as a creative person who often writes jokes that are is mocking other people, I want to say a lot of times that thing that you're mocking, you think of it because you are the thing. So like you sent me an example of someone that was like, sorry, comedians, not gonna be able to make this about yourself? Today, ha sucks something like that some edgy fucking tweet And I knew instantly it was No, it sounded like using tweet, this freaking tweet over here. Yeah, this fucking edgy tweet. Oh my god, that is it almost does sound like a derogatory term. So this edgy tweeter, he is, like, you know, doing calling up comics. I know the genesis of that observation. He woke up that day wanting to post something about himself and he couldn't, and he thought, it sucks, I can't post about myself today. He then felt the embarrassment of having that thought and decided to project it onto others. So I just want to say that when you thy doth protest too much or whatever the sake experience Slash Taylor swift lyrics. Thing is takes a test. I think it's what's the word takes a test? No, I like that aof takes a test? If like, that's when someone that's called productive will say that when it's projecting. Now, adof takes a test. It's like, it's because to do that, because I've seen you do. I've seen your like I sometimes try to trace your mind and how you get to things. And sometimes I'll be like, because I will do it, I will write a joke calling out some behavior that I'm like, I do that, And for instance, um models who pretend to eat on camera, or like I love pizza and I did a joke about it where they like take a bite and they say refreshing, and You're like, have you never eaten pizza? That's because I used to be antorexic and not want to eat things on camera, and I used to be fucking like losing my mind about how am I going to do this, and like I would always want to just I was scared to have to eat on camera, Like it came from me being that. Yeah, like me making fun of edgy comedians part of me. I don't want to go as far as like what my edge character is, but I do think sometimes I will maybe hold back and I'm there might be a jealousy of their freedom of going where they go. But when some of them I feel like, do it in a way that's still intelligent and like not just shocking but actually very funny still, but sometimes I feel like maybe because I feel it's like an easy way out and they get to do that and you don't get to let's mock it. Yeah, I like I've been doing. I've just like I gotta get back into like being a more mindful and like less egotistical. Like I've been just kind of like in this ugly state of mind of just hating things and judging them and being like and it's all if I liked myself and felt confident I don't care about anyone else. I really you don't have every wrong with anyone else. Last night I received some like just some like light concern or like just checking in on like hey, like with this music thing you're doing, like I just want to make sure like you're not like you gotta you gotta work really hard at this before you like release stuff. And I like got so defensive of like, of course I know that I'm not going to release stuff, but I caveat everything that I do music wise with I suck so much. And I know that and any besties that's listening right now that's ever seen me on Instagram live knows that it is crutched and book ended to the point where people are like stop saying that it's so funny because people either say you're stating on yourself, just do it, or they go, God, she thinks she's so good, so you can't really win. So you're not supposed to ever disparage yourself because you're supposed to like be you. But then the second you do or the second you don't, and you're like, hey, I think I sound good, people are like, hey, you know you don't sound good, right, like, don't put this out. And I'm struggling with like the fact that I creating music and I want to share it with not the world and be like this is my opus and I'm done and I'm as good as Taylor Swift and sign me up for a Grammy. I I'm doing everything from like I'm a twelve year old that just started like I'm I'm eighteen year old, Nikki Glazer just started doing comedy like judge me against one year doing this and um, and I was getting so defensive and I just was in this loop of arguing like someone it was like someone in my like a close like family, and I was just couldn't stop like just being like but I want you to know that, I know that, and it was just never going anywhere. And then I just for a second, I'm reading this book called The pers The Pursuit of Happiness or the Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, and I was like, wait a second, let me just take my ego out of this and see what it looks like like, let me just do an experience. Um. She was like talking to me about like what her perception of me doing music was in trying to explain her side of things, and while she was talking, I just kind of drifted off and was like, what is this conversation with not my ego, not involved, with me not being like but I want her to understand that I'm not this without me being like, what are people going to say? And honestly, the conversation is mood. It doesn't matter because what she was coming with of I'm worried about people thinking one thing about you when you've just like it's kind of my mom's concern of when I was in the Gay Straight Alliance in high school and she was like, people are gonna think you're gay, and I'm like, but and I almost wanted. I wanted to be gay in high school because I wanted to be something that my mom would be like I could prove that she didn't want me to do this thing that's just who I am, you know, like it just because when you're gay. I knew that it was just who you are, and I knew that she would have a problem with it, but she always said her problem was I don't want other people be judging you, which is a lot of parents who accept their gay kids say that. But that bothered me because it was always like, well, I'm but this person was explaining to me, Nikki, I just want to protect I don't if you want to do what you do and not care what people say. I don't care what people say about you. I know where you're coming from with this. I don't want I know how sensitive you are when people talk about you. I don't want to have to. I don't want to see you go through the pain of people misinterpreting what you're doing and thinking you think you're cool or whatever. And I was like, wow, if I take my that's all their ego, that's all they're like worrying about me. Like they're worrying about me is not even my issue, Like you know, if you take your ego out of things, which is just this new experiment I'm doing, because the ego is hard to even understand what it is. It's just a sense of self. It's just thinking that you're an individual who when you're not. Really you're just a big mass of cells that's gonna die someday. Sorry. And you may have a soul, but yourself is just a it's just an illusion. And so when you take that away and you go, what what would I feel right now if I didn't if I really if there was no ache in this for me of what people thought, what would I do? How would I act? And it's like I don't know. It was almost like an exorcism, and I was like, this conversation is over. This is all about my ego. I'm being sensitive because I want people to be nice to me, but I also want them to understand that I don't think I'm cool and I it's just all it's all ego, and I really want to free myself of that because it's just in the argument we've ever gotten. In the second you and I just say, would set aside our egos, it would be done. It would be done. It literally it makes everything cease to any argument cease to exist. Putin fucking Trump, anyone who argues with anything. It's all about ego. You're taking from me, You're making me look bad, And it's like, but if you like yourself, no one can make you look bad. I guess the flip side of that is like, can ego protect you from, like I don't know, putting out things like for me, like sometimes I don't have any egos, so I'll just put out anything, you know, So like I guess the flip side of that is like do I put out ship when it's not good enough to where I could even make it? Because I have no ego in regards to that. Like there's a line I think between right, like where I get mad at you're putting something out too soon, where I'm like, oh, if you just like tweaked a little bit, it would be amazing, and you're just rushing it. So maybe have a little bit more ego of thinking what people are gonna think. That's interesting. So but my point like, yeah, so with your music, it's like also it's like people are putting doing something outside of whatever their thing is, their fear of that. Yes, they're putting that on you, on you and if you don't because last night I was telling her, I was like, I'm okay, people can say Nikki think she's sweets, she thinks she sounds good. I know that. I don't. I know that I think I sound good for a year. And I think that's getting ahead of it though, too, where it's like, I don't think you think you know. I think I think I sound good for a year in I do, I think I have a lot of promise. If I was a twelve year old girl that had as much, that was playing guitar for a year and was singing the way I do, I would say you have a future in this, girl, Like if you really work hard, you have a future in this. As a thirty seven year old woman, there's no one like everyone who listens to me is going to compare me to another thirty seven year old woman who's been doing music, because people don't start things like this when they're thirty seven, so there's no context for it. And that's why I continue to contextualize it every time I present it, so that people know I don't want you to compare me to Taylor Swift or fucking uh anyone. I have a lot to say about this. Let me just we'll come back, and I want to talk about ego when I come back. We'll get to that as well, but I want to talk about ego. I had a realization recently. Let's go to break. What I'm saying is that I for music. I struggle and know what, maybe I like your insight on this too. I'm struggling with when I so, my my friend was telling me, like this family friend was like of concern about me looking stupid with my music or me me feeling stupid. They don't think I look stupid. They're worried that people are gonna say mean things like they did it with the Bob Saggett thing. And she saw how that made me sad, like how they like made fun of me and made me a little sad and angry and want to act out and respond to it. And she just didn't like seeing that it made me sad. And so she's looking out for me in the future if I ever released something to get ahead of that. And I've just you know, received a bunch of tracks that I recorded in January with Onion Matt that I worked like a week on and it was just for fun. I even made sure that they knew I was maybe never going to release these because I just want to see what happens. And the thing I'm struggling with is when I started and stand up, because she was telling me, well, when you started stand up, you weren't like putting this stuff out there all the time. And to be honest with you, when I started in stand up, I was not like other stand ups and I'm I'm gonna say I was. I've never met another stand up that was like me and did not accept guest sets early on, never asked people to come see her, never asked friends to come see her, would never put a clip online, wouldn't dare like, wouldn't audition for things because I didn't think I was good because I knew it takes seven years to get good. I read the books, I listened to the podcast. I knew the rules. No one's going to avoid that. But then I auditioned for Last Comic Standing because and I know this sounds like yeah right, people, I wanted to go on a trip with my friends. They got a van we're gonna go to and all I wanted was to audition because I had been doing it a year and a half and I wanted them to say, you show a lot of promise, but you're too young, because I knew there's no way I should belong on Last Comic Standing, but I didn't. You could ask any of the guys I went with. I did not want audition. I fought it. There were guys that, you know, along my career, I got asked to do guest sets for so many headliners who probably did want to bang me, but also did think I was funny. And I turned down guest sets all the time, which is unheard of. But and it's not a good thing. I'm not saying that's a good thing. I've just always felt I wasn't good enough until I just wait, and when I remember when I got Last Coming Standing. When I got I went, I auditioned. I got a little cocky on stage because I did have a good set. I heard the two judges go, Nikki, you're good, but you're just not ready for this show. And I lied about I said I doing two years, I'd been doing it one and they're like, it's just not long enough. And I was walking off the stage and one of the other judges said to the other man, I really like her, and the other one goes, well, I could be convinced, and I ran back on stage, and I said, can I do one more joke? Because the truth was, I didn't get all my jokes in, and I knew I had one joke, and I know it would be a funny. I don't know what. So I did get cocky in that one moment and I went back up and I went and made it to the night show. Then at the night show, I probably told the story before, but it's worth repeating because it's fucking insane. I go to the night show. I am so everyone that waited in line in Chicago in two thousand six, you know, hundreds of comedians, if not thousands. The night show was just thirty thirty and none of the guys that I went in my van with who would were always all better than me at that time, without question, they none of them made it. Maybe one did, and we all go to the night show and then only three people are chosen, and it's me, John Roy and Jerry d And on the night show was Jimmy Parto, who was like they were following him around with cameras all day all night, like he was clearly the one that they were like, he's the big guy. And Jimmy Parto was one of the funniest people that's ever existed, and it was so at this time, like I've been doing comedy for probably fifteen years at that point, and it was so fucking embarrassing because I knew I sucked and I was getting ahead of Jimmy Parto, Like there's it's not like I was. I was good for how long I've been doing it, But that's not what that shows about. It's not like American you know, like last comics standing who's been who's good for how long they've been doing it? And I remember, though, when I got the ticket to go to California to be like you're into Hollywood. Oh my god, it was so awkward. That's a whole other story I'm saving for my book of like that night and how embarrassing it was to go upstairs and see everyone that didn't make it and they saw this girl who's been doing it a year, who clearly sucked, didn't even know how to stay in the spotlight on stage, like no skills, and how embarrassing that was. And what happened in that whole thing, which Jimmy Parter and I have had like h like if I've always been a huge fan of his and I was so scared of him for a while because I thought he hated me because I got this whole thing happened backstage. But I love him so so so much now um and always did. Anyway. I remember calling Tommy John again when I got back to Ku, and I was thinking, I'm going, what, oh, what do you mean Tommy John again? If you don't know Tommy John again is he's honestly, he's John Mullaney funny like he what he and John Mullaney at They were slightly had doing it, doing it probably a year longer than me. And they were always the ones that were like Jesus Christ, this guy a Z's as he's been doing like probably three or four years. It's got to be a percentage of you that thinks that you do deserve it. No, no, but here's what I think. No, all I promise you. All I wanted was them to say good job. The this is like what do you want from music? But let me just finish the story. So Tommy John again I called. I remember I was walking into Dylan's in Lawrence, Kansas to go get like some fucking antarextic food. And I was walking in and I was on the phone. I was like, Tommy, I made it through, and he it's just so much better than me at this point, and like was the guy that I wanted to be as good as. And I remember him saying, Nikki, if I were you, I wouldn't go You're just not like he's like, literally with my set of skills, like I wouldn't. I wouldn't go to Hollywood, like I would turn it down. It's just gonna be. It's a too big of a platform, and you're too young. We both had a good enough self awareness, and I remember just being like, but that's but do you turn That's why I get so mad when people are like this girl keeps getting all these things, or this guy gets all these things. No what, you're frozen so we can't see you. This guy she got this stuff, And it's like, is she supposed to turn it down? If the industry is handing you things even when you don't ask for them, are you supposed to turn it down? And so my question is is that when I'm making music, there's I could go to open mics and wear a wig and like go as someone else and start totally fresh. But when I have my best friends who have been doing music for twenty five plus years, and they write songs for me and want to go record them for me. And I have the extra money and the free weekend to go make some music in a studio even though I know I'm really bad. Do I turn that down? And if I get a final product that sounds like wow? This is like it's like painting with Monai's paints, but you've just started painting. Are you supposed to go I'm not allowed to use money his paints. I'm bad, so I'm gonna use cradle crayons. Sorry, Am I supposed to turn that stuf down? And if I have those recordings and everything except my voice sounds great, and maybe my voice sounds c on the terms of the stuff sounding like an a? Am I supposed to not put that out because I haven't discovered my true voice? Or do I get to put things because young comics put things out all the time on TikTok and get millions of views, and they're at the shitty open mic. Their stage presence is terrible, their outfit is bad, their jokes are way worse than they think, and I go, oh, don't do this. This is how we're gonna remember you or do I just say fucket? I think this sounds good. A couple of people I ran this by sounds good enough. I'm trying this for the first time. I know you're gonna make fun of me. Here we go. There's no way for me to do this the same way I approach stand up. Is what I'm saying. There's no grassroots for me to do except I am. I am perfor just for besties on my Instagram. I'm not asking like my comedy fans to like watch me. I continually tell the besties. If anyone ever goes where's the comedy, I kicked them out of the room because I'm like, this is for people who know what I'm doing. So I just I don't want to be that person that everyone's like Nikki's going crazy and like we need to have an intervention that she thinks she's sweet. I just what am I supposed to do with these? But I think the Bob Sage song and like the idea of him dying and him putting out a song is a completely different thing than just like no that was that was a thing that I never planned unless he died, that would have I would have never released. I understand what I'm saying that people's perception right and which time over that I don't care at all. But I'm saying, no, if if the woman is coming to you this whoever it is, family friend, is comparing the two, yeah, it's a different thing. That's my point. My point is is the Bob thing. No, I'm talking about new recordings that like might understand. I understand that, but that's not the same thing as putting on after someone dies and from the outside looking in can be seen as like, what is it. I don't understand that right because it was so let's just talk about me with the song. I'm saying that, so put that aside. But I'm saying that's why that woman or yeah, I was doing that because of the hate you got for that. Yes, I don't think you'll get as much hate if you're like, hey, here's a self recorded song that I It's a two different things. But do you feel that way about like doing new stuff? I do. That's why I'm saying it's a new thing. So I'm saying, like, so, you're right, like the fear that they have of me getting the backlash is not gonna be They're not gonna get it from putting out fucking That's so funny because I thought that the backlash would be less because this was motivated by a real emotion as opposed to just me being like the beach was warm on a Sunday night, like you know what I mean. I know in your mind you would think you would think, oh, no, this is just I'm sorry to go off. So but I'm just having trouble making having people understand. Yeah, okay, so please I have to I'm going to say something a little bit different than what you're saying. And I think if you approach it as this person came to me, if you just try to see it through this person's perspective, maybe she knows that you care a lot about what people think of you, and that's why she came to you. Now, aside from that, I think sometimes we have a tendency to create these monsters, is what I call them, where we give a lot of meaning and like a narrative to something that doesn't quite exist. But maybe we just give too much to it, like the negative comments and all of that. I think it's it's just like a monster that we create it's not an actual thing that exists. And I would tell you to read that Feeling Good book because I think you're having a lot of mental distortions about singing and what you're doing. Um is like he has five in there, And I just looked up mental filter, which is you pick out a negative detail in any situation and dwell on it exclusively, thus perceiving that whole situation is negative. Right, So you take a detail and then you blow this little balloon that was in a packet of balloons, and now you think all of these little balloons when they come into packet are just the same size. And then you blow up one and that's the only one you're seeing out of all those balloons. And I think it's becoming the whole thing. Yeah, that's classic CBT. And there's so many apps that help you, like do this now that I get marketed all the time because they know I do this. I think you're right, and then no, I think what Okay? Yeah, I was gonna say one last thing. This was an article that we had in the news that Andrew never got to it, and I wish that you would have seen it. Um, it was about it, Bono said, that his stuff is trash right, Like he says that he can't even listen to the first like the first, like I don't know how many albums that you tube put out, he said. I hated my voice, then I love my voice now I can't even go back and listen to it. Yes, and that's the way I feel about my old stand up. And but I do see it, and I go, there's something there, And how cool did I get to see that my journey to becoming what I am now is online for other people who were starting out their journeys to see, like, Wow, she was not as good as she is now, like what I used to love looking for, like Sarah Silverman young, like anyone young, because I knew that I shouldn't compare myself to them now even though I was doing that. I just want to say one last thing, and I'm sorry to thank you so much for letting me process this. I am paranoid about people, and this is the balloon thing. This is the cognitive distortion. Ever since I was antorextic in high school and all my friends stopped talking to me and everyone talked about me behind my back. They went to the school, they went to the counselor. I got pulled out of class, and all of a sudden, this thing that everyone was talking about and no one came to me about, which was Nikki. You're not eating. You are crazy to think that this is like a thing that's gonna work for you. I eat music. Nikki is a crazy thing to think this is gonna work for you, much like my diet back then. And we're not gonna go to you about it because we don't want to, Like it's too embarrassing to tell you that this is what we're noticing and that you're not seeing it, and you it's like we're like all kind of worried about you. We're gonna go to the top. We're gonna come together and create an intervention where you're gonna get pulled out of class and all of us are still not going to talk to you about it afterwards. We're just gonna it's gonna I'm just scared that there's a thing brewing where I don't I just want to stay. I don't want to be one of those people in American Idol that's like Hi, Hi, and then everyone's just like, oh, honey, as no one ever told you this is horrible, but it's I don't worry about because there are people who really in choosing a subjective Yeah. The music thing too, it's like how many albums, how many artists the first album is the best album. I mean, Bono says that about himself. Yet no, no, no. But my point being is like it's like like number one, like when these people hate their old ship, you just hate your old ship because you were just tired of your old ship. Millions of people love that. Yeah, And I know that millions of people would like, not millions, but I know thousands of people would think the songs that I made are pretty damn good. Now, this girl that confronted me might she is like those songs, I would never listen to them. I don't like them. They're not good to me. And I said to this girl that, and she was really scared to tell me that. And I'm like, she's like, you sound fine, but the songs are bad, like not what I would like. Yes, I sent them to my family. I got this feedback. She's like, I just don't like these songs. And she thought that was that. It took a really long time to get to that part of the conversation, she's so scared to tell me that, and I go, first of all, I didn't write them. I do. I like these songs though, and I I'm taking about as much offense to that as you telling me that you there. And my friend I go, you know what, that doesn't bother me at all, because guess what my favorite song you hate? And I had a prime example of one song that she like, you know, a separate from me ever bringing up this song was like, God, you know what song I fucking hate that everyone loves and she said the song, and I go, that is so ironic. That is my favorite, one of my top ten favorite songs. So I don't care if people don't like my music. I just don't want to be a tone deaf like idiots that no one likes it. But I do understand that, like because they were like, you know, Nikki, if you put this out, people are going to be like people when they think of you know, an adult, a thirty seven year old pop star or someone who's training get into indie rock or whatever you're trying to do. They think of Taylor Swift, they think of Katy Perry, and they're going to compare you to them, and I'm like, but what about Bob. I'm not truing comparing myself to Bob Dylan. Their voices and your voice isn't there, And I'm like, my voice is never gonna be Katy Perry's. It's never gonna be Taylor Swift's. It might be Taylor Swifts, to be honest with you, it's never gonna be Shakiras, it's never gonna be Gaga's. It's gonna be Liz Fair, It's gonna be you know, uh, Bob Dylan, who doesn't sound good at all, and you know I don't. This person was worried that they're gonna people are gonna compare me the Lady Gaga and be like she can't hit Adele's notes or whatever. It's like people, but but you're doing it again, music that you enjoy that it's not adult what you're doing it again where you're seeing people like everybody you can't. But that's how this how this was her saying yeah, And I even said like yeah, so she knows that she doesn't know what someone five miles away from her, who has a completely different life will think of your music and how they would hear your people. They might hear you as was fair, but they might also hear you as a lady gaga. You just don't know. Yes, the other thing I mean, it's not I'm not trying to be a dick, but like it's like if you if someone if you want someone to come up to you about like your intireca like right, like you weren't were you putting out? And it's not up to them to to be Like, I don't know. What I want is if I play a song for someone and they're like, Nikki, this is this. You have potential for a year in this is good. That's all I want for a year in. This is definitely like where you need to be. But this, I think you have so much. Before you put this out the way that I say about pictures that you put up, you should edit it. If I went up to in high school and go, look you're skinny now, but if you stick with this, you could be even skinny. That would have been cool in high school. That's a different story, you know, And I just I get that. But my point being is, like, you know, I if you can't like people might think that you can't take criticism well because it's all, yeah, it's that. That's what I said. At the end of my conversation, I said, well, you're right, because this person was like if you get offended when people don't say the right thing or they say the wrong thing, because I'm like, I don't want you to go, oh my god, Nikki, you should you should release this now. People are gonna lose their fucking minds. I just want people to say, for a year and this is good. I need to contextualize it better and say, hey, i'm let's play the song for you. All I want to know is if I'm crazy that a year in this is decent. That's what I wanted and I just need to give that so that that person or like you know, in terms of like in arexia, all I wanted was something to go, hey, I'm a little bit worried about you, and if we can't talk about this in a real way and you are continuing to make excuses, I'm gonna go to miss Price. Well, here's like you played those two songs for me when I was in that room. It was it was a bad context. That was my bad. It was just bad timing to play them. We're listening to it on the phone where you can't even this wasn't about that, but the way that's really But I'm just saying that someone that is a friend of yours you listens to your music, who then feels like, can I approach you in a way that tells you that this song not it's not doing it for me? This song is. And I am honest with you about your voice, like when you when the other day we sang the opening to your reality show, your voice sounded fantastic, and your voice like that it's not being utilized or your writing skills isn't being utilized how this song is being played. And I know that these eight or nine songs that you made that you spend time, but I like these but no, no, no, I I like that because I know that that that was a collaborative thing. So my cognitive dissidents can or my my little gymnastics I can do is like, Okay, everything you had wrong with it wasn't my fault, or the things you had wrong with it are about me not just doing it long enough. And yeah, the other day I realize getting upset about you saying nothing was really my bad and not contextualizing the delivery of that in the moment in a way that you felt comfortable saying whatever you could say, and that had nothing again, ego so wrapped up in it needed to hear just that was pretty good. That's like all I wanted. But you didn't know that's all I wanted. You thought that the bar was like you had to only say nice things. Any criticism that you had had to be you know, squashed, when really it was open for that. And it really like, but I just need to set up so that people feel comfortable because as a boss, as someone who is has a room of people that I'm employing, I forget that they feel. And I'm someone who can who can't like just shoot from the hip and just say hurtful things or not take things okay. And one my art always comes back to me and my fucking ego. And that's why I had to check it. And like I realized last night because I was talking about that moment, it not. It didn't. I shared that moment with um my friend end and was like, oh, yeah, like there was a time I played these songs and you know, Andrew didn't say literally anything and that and then they said, well, if he would have said something you would have said, he shouldn't even said that, you know, would be better if he said nothing, and so he can't win. And I'm like, you has so fucking right. Whenever you'd say to someone, whenever you say to someone like, why did they say that? And you and you have the line they could have just said nothing, think about what nothing would feel like, because it did not feel good. But the truth is you were not given the opportunity to say anything. You felt anything you said was going to be wrong, so you chose to say nothing because I didn't allow for that, and it was not It was not your fault. It was not something that I'm glad that we talked about it, and I felt so good as soon as like, we exchanged texts about it, and I felt so fun about it. And I only brought it up later to share, like what I had learned in our in my conversation and with you is that that was my bad of not being the type of and I'm working on this so much of like being someone that people can be honest with and not having them fear my response because it's just I hate people like that. Man, it sucks when you can't tell your friends how you really feel and I'm really I want to say to you and to like Noah, and to like any of my friends listening or besties. Even I'm trying to get better with criticism and honesty because I want to be someone who um and that's why I try to apologize when I do have those like fucking flipouts where you know, when you're back into a corner, your fireflight response thing just comes in sometimes and I just don't have a choice but to just get defensive, and like you know, sometimes I just really don't have a choice. It's just like my anger takes over, you know what I'm saying, and the ego and I don't have a choice, and I but I do have a choice over though is acknowledging it as soon as I can, as soon as I have that fucking lush come over me of embarrassment of how I just acted, taking that moment and not sticking to it and just saying I'm embarrassed for how I just acted. But on the flip side, like people are aware of, like the situation like you're on a show perfect Strangers to where you're to lead actor where you have to have confidence, you have to think what you're doing, whether you think it's great or whatever it is, you have to have. You're standing in front of a hundred people, so you have to have false confidence. Sometimes you have to have that, and you have to have people around you kind of lying to you and sisting you up. But it does bring out good stuff, it really does. It does, But it can also do the we watch Kanye like, it can go out of control, Like I'm mitigating against becoming a Kanye where I think everything I do is fucking brilliant and everyone has to always kiss my ass all the time, and then I end up for getting Cootie's name at the Grammy party. But but on the flip side of that, the flip side of that is you don't need to apologize for doing something that you enjoy and you don't have to fucking sorry for it or feel like you have to fucking contextualize it for people that don't understand. So it's about it. It's the balance. But you know what it's like, It's also like, let's not make everything like grandiose. Like it's just it's like you're doing something, You're doing something. I'm just doing something I enjoy and like same with you with golf, like you might feel silly if you were to compete or like sign up for a tournament, like what am I gonna really I'm gonna do this, but you know what, it's fucking challenges are fun. Like Chris is going to play in a paddleball tournament this weekend, and I'm so fucking excited that I get to go like cheer him on. And the thing, the thing that in the end nothing matters, and this thing is it is official, but it's low level. He's like, you know, I signed in as a like whatever level. I'm probably not even that good, but we'll see. It's just makes raising mistakes a little bit and getting thinking you might be good enough to actually compete, whether it's with music, whether it's with it's it's and maybe you'll fucking be so humiliated, but at least you took a chance. Burnet Brown, someone sent me this When I was talking about this very same thing about the Bob sag of things. Someone sent me the Burnet Brown quote of like that I saw her doing her Netflix special. I don't want I don't want any criticism from people who aren't playing in the same arena as me. I'm putting myself in an arena of people, the people that critique me, unless you are putting yourself out there just as much as me and risking looking stupid, shut the funk up. And essentially that was it, Like, I don't want criticism from people who are you know, Natasha Jerry. I posted a joke of hers yesterday where she's uh in her stand up. She's talking about like guys nowadays are sitting on the toilet going I never fuck her, I never fuck her. You don't get to say whether you'd suck her because you're on a toilet being a disgusting human that would never You're not in her league, so you don't get to comment on that. You can all day, but we don't have to be. We don't have to have our feelings hurt by that bullshit. And I'm really when I say all this stuff, I'm let's move on to the news that all of it. I was just kidding the whole time. Now, what can we get one news story in? Yeah? What is it, Andrew? It's Wednesday, folks, you know what that means. It is Wednesday. We're coming live from you from the St. Louke. We're proud and we're having a good time. Calling asp for a second. Hope you're having all this. I know it's been a log show. If you're having all this well, because your boy is again a little sleepy. But in morning over there with this this this outfits cool. By the way, it was, it was all on accident. I almost want you to go like, he's where you gotta watch the YouTube. We're back in the studio, by the way, So the video is gonna be yeah, love. They almost look like easy. It's kind of called Nike Free met Con. So the front is for running. The back is still. Let's get to the news. Yeah, it's all black, all black everything. How about I try No one's wearing a sweatshirt that I think you gave me like two years ago that I love so cute, love it so much, and I'm wearing a swifty sweatshirt. How about I do the news headlines? Rapid fire. You get like one thing to say about it? Yes, okay, one sentence each? Yep, all right. Pandemonium erupts at a theater as movie goer releases a bat during a screening of Robert Pattison. Pattinson's new Batman film, as part of a prank attempt um. That makes me so upset because that poor fucking bat. I wish Tiger King was a movie because I it would be funnier to release a tiger. But yeah, that's okay, that's good. I was seeing Catwoman, but cat I just hate any pranks involving fucking animal, and especially a bat, who are there so sensitive already it's gonna be good if it's man handled enough to go into a movie theater. That's too much. It's too much anxiety for about that's so sensitive. I know that about bats well, but they a lot of luck. They couldn't catch the bat, so they offered the movie goers their money back, but they all just like most of them, decided to stay in the theater with about to finish the movie. That's kind of cool. I love that. Okay, next head, well, some people are terrified about so okay, next timeline Okay, f Boy Islands. Garrett Morowski says his passport showing Russia as his birthplace led to airport detention in Mexico. Wait, WHOA what I watched the video? What is he doing? Art says, Oh, yeah, I've seen him. He was in Mexico recently I saw him. I wonder why gallivanting on Instagram? Um, wait, so Garrett from so Garrett Garrett caused it? Caused because he had a Russian passport. They're like, get out of it. And he looks terrifishing, I think his stature, but he is Russian, his origins Russian? Exactly was he like? Didn't you talk like this when he said it? I fucking love Garrett so much. Um. Interesting, you know I've heard about the Russian tea room that it's really struggling in New York City. Everyone should support Russian restaurants around town because, let me be honest, these as you know, most Russians are not supporting this war and are terrified of Putin just as much as we are. Really, everyone should be supporting Russian owned businesses right now, so much because so many people are doing the same thing that happened with fucking the China flu and not ordering from Chinese restaurants when COVID happened. Let's make up for the dumb dumbs out there and and orders Russian things, including Garrett Garrett, the oil and guns from Russia. Know any Russian restaurant which I don't even know if Russian restaurants exists, but like any Russian business, support them right now because if they're clearly identified as Russian, people are avoiding them right now to make some sort of statement. And immigrants that left Russia to come here, so they get it. They don't like Russia either. Yeah, don't come at me. And I love I love Russians. My best friend's Russian. Any next story? Ready? Great, Okay, we're doing great here. Research indicates that doing this daily habit could slash your risk of a deadly stroke by forty percent. Can you guess what it is? Um daily habit? Taking aspirin close h meditating every day, a fuck of a massive stroke. Yeah, and I'm getting back into it, dude, I gotta get back into that, because they look at people who have had massive strokes and they see whether or not they've had they were practicing meditation, and then they look at people that didn't and they look, you know, they just look that are unhealthy, don't meditate exactly. So there's other factors, but but I want to say that that's pretty I've just never heard that. I've actually heard of bad things about meditation. Some people can get kind of a psychosis from it, so you gotta watch out. And most meditation apps and things of the sort have those kind of um, you know, uh warnings up front. But I'm not meditating right now, and it's definitely something that I'm getting to the point with all the things I'm talking about right now are me going like, girl, you know what you need to do. You need to get back in touch with like yourself and what that means, and like you need to calm down. I need to calm down and not get a massive stroke to be meditating and then feel a stroke like or anything like that. I mean, there's some Buddhists that can they know when their heart is going to stop. Yeah, they can control their heartbeats. So I guess the idea is like, if you're that mindful that you can actually somewhat your brain to not have a stroke or could or just know the signs of it, feel that it signs before it happens. But I think you're right. People that meditate are usually eating healthier, worried about breathing clean air, those kinds of things. Fuck freedom cries cries, and then be like let's go to break and come back with the game rise fried food. Alright, we're back. It's Wednesday, so we're doing a wild card Wednesday. Noah, Um, the game today is the esparrel game. Um s perel? Where should we begin? That card? Is I like that in our text? Your text came a stair perez perez, esther parcel? Um, yes, esther perel or pure l hand sanitizer. She has a game out? Where should we begin? Good for conversations, just little prompts. One thing is going to be the sentence we start with, and the other thing will be what the sentence or story we tell is about or like, you know, inspired by Yes, okay, So the prompt card is share something off the record, and then I missed the days when I could um. Okay, that's great off the record, something that you probably don't normally share with people that you maybe are a little bit closed off about. Okay, talk about I wish the days where I could miss the days I missed the days where I could um. Well, I will say this is off the record because it's uh, it sounds like gloating when you say this, but I missed the days when I could begin a new hobby and like and do it in a way that you know I missed up. I missed the days where, Um, I missed the days where strangers didn't know who I was sometimes because it's it feels weird having strangers think they've got you figured out when you're like most people. Is that something you do it? Yeah, I missed the days when I could go go about my life and and um, I'm so grateful that I'm someone that strangers know because obviously I have this, and but there are parts of me that missed the days when I could just do things and it was just my friends talking about me and at least they know me well enough and like that they kind of have a right to do it, I guess. Um. But also I don't miss those days because I'm I get so much better stuff from not from not that. So do you have one? Um? I mean, I'm just thinking it's not switch off the record, but just I literally miss the day's where I could run freely without worrying about being hurt every three seconds. I think it's really sad that my fucking hamstring tour that one time. And I literally am like, I don't think about it that much, but when I do up, Yeah, well I just get sad thinking like, oh, I can't go out and play basketball without thinking that I'm going to be like laying down on the ground fucking crying. So if you those things, remember, just go do them. So I always take the stairs because old people say someday not for the exercise, but someday you won't be able to go upstairs. Just do them now why you can? And I always think about that. But I think that with your hamstring thing, you'll absolutely you are and you're getting back in like really good shape. You're NBA natural born athlete. I think that the hamstring thing, you only fucked it up last time when you were trying to impress your girlfriend and like it was, but funked it up playing foot I sucked it up two other times since then. But it's always been when you know you shouldn't, and you'd go a little hard, so I shouldn't. But but that's what I miss. You miss being able to just go hard whenever you when I know I shouldn't. Yeah, when you know you should without any worries. There's something so much like I still remember like when I was a kid, like I I lived really free until my parents divorced, and I still remember like I used to not I used to sucking the head of singing. I would sing, I would do like those things you can go back to. Yeah, but that's why I always tall smokers. When they're like, I'm a smoker, it's like there was a time where you weren't a smoker. You can go back to that. The same way that people think about death. It's like I'm scared to die, and it's like, what were you before you were born? That's what's gonna happen again. You've already done it. It's just gonna go back to a thing. You can always go back to the way it was. And I think that that's the beauty and growing older is that you kind of revert back to being a kid and your parents kind of like die. You stop used to get your own family, stopped looking to them for stuff. But I missed I missed the days when I didn't um count calories or look at food is bad or good? Those that's what the day. The day where a change because I remember the day because my parents divorced. I kind of ever, you know, that's so interesting that one day you woke up and your life, your brain change, Well, it was, you know. It was a day where I remember Jamie Nash saying, you look so thin? What did you do? And I was like, what did I do? I remember where I was sitting and I didn't eat today because I was nervous about a boy. But I didn't know I didn't eat. I wasn't trying not to eat. And I was just like, huh, that felt really good hearing Jamie Nash, who was my favorite person, who I wanted to be more than anyone. I thought I looked cute and skinny, and I was just like, I'm worrying. You were not eating on purpose. No, it was just because a boy that I like so much liked finally was taking an interest in me, and I got so nervous that I was going to kiss him. It was my senior year. I was just like, didn't I always don't eat. I get when I get nervous, which is rarely happens now, I lose my appetite. And that day it showed up like that because compliment. And then I go, what what what else can I do? And then I started reading books and I started But I remember being in fourth grade and seeing a plate of brownies that my MoMA just cooked, and coming in from playing with my friends, it was like probably nine o'clock and way eight o'clock running in seeing the brownies having one after dinner and then one another and not doing it. Not because I wanted to lose weight. I was already skinny child, but because that's what women do. Women don't let themselves have to And I wanted to be up. I wanted to be a woman. I was remember Charlie Popistein telling me he loved me at Recess via Michael Olson. Michael Olson came up to me, was like he it was in third grade. He was a new student. I was kind of a new student. We were best friends, and he was starting to act a little weird. And then one day Michaelson was like, hey, Charlie loves you. And I thought that Michael Olson said that. Charlie said I had chubby legs. Don't ask me why, but that's what I heard. And I ran with it because I was so excited to be a woman who was like I'm fat. And I remember my uh neighbor Kate Donni Hue, coming to pick me up because she would pick up for my mom sometimes and she picked us up and I was sitting on the railroad track like tracks around the playground and I was just like crying and like trying to fake cry like a woman who feels fat does. And she was like, what's rotten, Nick, what's going on? And I was like, Michael Olson told me that Charlie bubble Side today had chubby legs. And she goes, get the funk out of here, get in the guy. She I remember her, but she didn't say fun. But she was just like, you're not getting to do that. And I was just like, damn it. I got caught. Like it was almost like I had a fake I d because I was just like the tiniest child. But I did it because I wanted to be a woman, not because I thought I was fat. I thought that's what you do when you're a woman, and that is fucked. No, what do you have? One? Um? The one that came to mind is I missed the days when I could go on like the We called it the ledge, but it was the fire escape at my best friend's house when I was a kid and we would just go down to Mr Kim's grocery store and just buy like a bunch of snacks. It would just like sit on the fire escape and just eat Mr Kim's where you hid. Yeah, exactly. As a child, I used to love going to the sounds. So we just you know, like do you miss the friends? This was like it was I had one friend, um that I made in third grade. It was like a year into being in this country. And she was my friend until like end of high school. And and Um, I just like loved going to her house. Like her dad was a plumber and he had all these pipes everywhere and we would find like coins, so we would do like just look for money to go down and get snacks, just like sit on the fire escape. And I think I missed that because like I feel like today you couldn't do that. You know, they're like your parents would get fined or something like that. It's like, I guess I missed the days when I could be carefree, which is kind of like what you guys are seeing. Yeah, it's kind of like what we're all going to Let's still try to do something today that we notumber. Yeah, that's what she misses. Yeah, she misses being a thief of a plumber who's working hard blue collar job and I missed snacks and friends too, and you know, going in the creeks and the creeks for me where the fire escapes, like running through the creeks in my neighborhood, and like just going to places that as a kid now or as an adult, you you can't go hang out on the rooftop or like sneak out the like you can do all these things, but like we don't. So let's I don't know, I want to do something today that my intuition is telling men do because you don't do that anymore. And but don't get physically hurt. But like, let's all do something and indulge a little bit in the way it was climb a tree. I'm not high, honestly, no, I'm not even kidding, like or like little things like that. Just your mom would go, don't get off that, find a stick for yeah, make a pillow for jump on the bed. Your kids do it. Maybe your kids don't realize, like certain things that I feel like a lot of kids are on their phones are playing let's do something I used to do as a kid, and see they're like, no, this is job. Like my dad would probably like twinkies and then being a coma on the couch, rub your calm on the car carpet, come on the Well, this wasn't the funniest pod that we've done, but I really am grateful that I was able to get some figure some things out, So thank you both. Final thought today, let's keep it h Let's get back to your night. Let's end it. Um. So, can I talk about that thing that happened in in Cabo that was so funny? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, please yeah that Nikky was staying at a nice hotel, uh and it had a great cool pool, but it had one of the day parties that you see in Vegas, where like people are just listen to E. D. M And fucking eating Molly and just fucking just in the pool by themselves just because feeling the beats. You know. The hotel I'm staying at was like a timeshare place for old people, and then all of a sudden they put in one of these day pool like day party clubs, and every the whole time you're there, all throughout the day on the weekend, it's like everywhere you go the walls are shaking from this. On the other side is Frank Sinatra, like all old people. I was the youngest person staying there by decades and then but everyone comes in for this, so by a hundred years, I really was. So it's so funny because you told me about and we were in Cabo. Cabo is a place where you go for bachelor parties. You go to fucking rage out, which I in my twenties. I'd be at that fucking day party, getting as drunk as possible, probably putting on another girl that you wanted to go. I just wanted to see, Yes, I just wanted to see it. One day early and I got we went back from the set. Yeah, I went to eat my lunch. I heard that Andrew and we were gonna go read by the pool, and I wrote Andrew after he dropped me off and he went back to his hotel. I go, hey, there's no reading going on because there's this fucking house party going on with like E d M music. And so I went into bed to go take my afternoon nap after scenes and he's texting me yeah and go, and he goes, um, I might come over and see that, And I was like, that's hilarious, Like, no way, did I think you would ever have the balls alone because you get really nervous around like hot young guys sometimes as I've seen, but you don't care at all. You went alone to the stay part, you drove over back to my hotel. I just had to see it. I don't know why. I just felt like I had to. Like it was people watching that I haven't seen in so long. And I decided, you know what, I'm going to get out of bed and go to because Andrew had sold me on it, and I was like, I don't want to do this. I have a headache, but I got to see. This is the last weekend we're going to be in town. It was like, did I go, They go in, They they pat you down to see if your guns or knives or fucking I don't know, nerds whatever. And then I go in and it's just it's exactly what you think. It's like the Tower of Babble. It's just like he did in his own like fucking just end of the day too. I mean, this thing probably thirty and now it's three thirty. It's probably shutting down around four, So I said, I I walk in and I'm like, holy sh it is the best people watching I've seen in so long and Nikki I text, I go, you just gotta see these people, and you're like worth it, and I go send a pick and I go, I'll do you one better. I'm gonna video this whole thing. Didn't say that. He just decided to. So I was going to get a panorama. You. So he's gonna take the camera and just scan the debauchery he's watching. So I started scanning, and I'm scanning from left to right. Yes, And while I'm scanning, you know, you look inside your camera or your phone and you you and you're looking at the whole party. You're not looking at like individuals, but scanning. He perfectly lines up with this waitress who is walking the same speed that he's decided to stand with. So she you see in the video, you see her walk and then you see her slowly clock that this guy has his phone up and then you just by coincidence, he's he's going the same speed of which she's walking in the same direction, and it looks like he's filming her and you see her do like a double take. I can feel her eyes. Oh, it's so good to do it slow motion. Andrew sends me this long thing of like I was shooting this video. This all happened. He's like, she caught me and then he went in what happened? So tell us. So I shoot the video and I see her in the thing, and I don't understand. I don't think that she's looking at me because I'm looking at my phone. I'm just discon you're disconnected from things that happen when you're looking at your phone. So I see her staring at me. Are you feel invisible because you're the oldest guy. Yeah. And I'm drinking, I'm going to diet coke, wearing like overalls, like I shouldn't even be in there, like I'm sucking, like I just ship my depends, like there's no reason for me to be in there. So I'm filming her and I see her looking and then it hits me, Oh my god. She thinks I'm a creep. She thinks I'm a creep. I'm not a creep. I'm just here to people want I'm just showing my friend. Don't see the camera jostle like he got shot. And then it cuts out like Blair Witch like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so She's like, why would you she said, let me see the let me see the video. She asked me to see the video. I go, it's fine, you'll see. Once you see the video, you'll realize it's not that big of a deal. The video couldn't be anymore so clear. So then he shows her the text exchange between him and I to prove that I had asked for a pick. Which did that suffice for her? It's suffice enough where she was actually somewhat cool about it. But like the feeling of feeling like a creep, Oh god, men, is their biggest fear as being a creep, because so many of you have creepy thoughts that I think that someone seeing inside it, even for a second or miss misidentifying you as a creep is the biggest fear. Like it's a lot of times women might feel that way when we are like for me, when someone thinks that I um that I think I'm cool or something where I'm like no, that's the opposite of what I think. Like it's just like or like if you someone thinks you stole something and I'm like no, I used to steal, like yeah, from some change from a plumber to buy some hot talkies or UT's UT's barbecue chips. Childhood is like Bronx tail. It's literally like, Hey Arnold, she was like a character on Hey Arnold. Yeah, she was just running around. Could look like a car too, character a beautiful one. No, there's so many times this week. No, it's I want to say that when you get told your Wallace and grounmet like I have, it offends you. But um, but there's so many times since we were doing the podcast and that this was not me shooting on myself. I would see your face in the screen of US three and I would think it was me for a second because it's we have the same like kind of makeup style and hair, and you're wearing some of my clothes, and I would think for a second, oh my god, I look great today, and then that second later it would be like, oh, that's Noah, and then I would go, wait, no, you look great too. But it was like there was always this like oh wow, and like I thought there, um, so I just want to tell you that you're pretty thank you. That's so sweet, and you're you're really great at your job, and I'm adorable. And Andrew is actually not actually funny. He's just funny and smart. Nice save al right, guys, we gotta go. Yes, and some art very smart. Thank you guys for listening. Um, we'll have a fun show tomorrow to round it out. We'll keep it really light and giggly. Thank you for being there for us and being fans. And I love you so much. Don't be cooled out there. And Chiack Nicholas

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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