Nikki was up all night watching a documentary about The Amazing Johnathan. Andrew knows he's seen it but can't remember anything. He does remember when he started puberty. They both talk about getting bullied as adolescents. You Heard It Here First: wordle saves a life, first date attire and an athlete who has nothing to left to prove. Besties come through with funny stories in Fanthrax. In the Final Thought they talk about the photos they got of girls in relationships vs. single and further dissect Nikki's theory.
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The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Thursday. It's Thursday. I'm a baby, I'm a widow baby. Um oh my god. So I don't even know where to begin. I'm still waking up. I just got up like fifteen minutes ago. I think I'm just I have not been able to sleep very well recently, because yesterday I only had four hours old the night before, and then last night I was like, oh, this will be easy, and I just couldn't go to bed. I was up to four Uh No. I watched to Jonathan Amazing, the Amazing Jonathan documentaries you watch back to back. I guess one and a half because I gave one the second one and I was like, oh wait, this is actual. So the first one is like a documentary that thinks it knows what it is at the at the start, and then it takes on a different life and it's on Hulu there, and I was like, why are there too? It annoys me that there's two. I remember comedian Steve Byrne. He did one of them, the one I didn't watch, or the one I only watched half of and he had asked me to like come on our show and promote it or something back then, and I was like, so last night, I'm scrambling to find the one he made, but then all I keep getting is this other one. And then it turns out it's a documentary about how there's two people making a documentary about him. Because as this guy's making a documentary about the Amazing Jonathan, suddenly he finds out that there's other people doing documentaries on him and everywhere, every like every couple of months, he's got a fourth crew, and it starts to become like he starts to kind of go insane because he's like, is this guy fucking with me? Is this a magic trick? Because if you don't know, Amazing Jonathan is like the guy who does magic, and he would, um, do you remember at least yes? And there's also another thing is that he was diagnosed he was going to die in a year, and then four years later he's still alive. And so the guy, I mean, spoiler alert, the guy ends up being like are you fucking with me? Like are you even dying? And he's like, how could you act? Like, according to Amazing Jonathan, it is not a joke that he's still alive, that he got a year to live. He's just like, I'm baffled by two. Like I'm confused as well. And um, he spoke s meth every day as vitamins and he gets the documentary he goes, you can't show me smoking meth on camera unless you do it too. And so then the documentary documentarian calls up like a law office and is like, what the revocations if I smoke meth one time on camera? Because my subject wants me to smoke it. I mean when he's like high office like, it's just like someone at the you know, front desk, They're like, I don't know, so because he keeps seeing meth and fetamine to make it seem more like drug like more like science or official you know, litical whatever the lawyer word is and judicial. And then the guy's like the guy at the front desk is like, wait, so he wants to smoke withth like he kind of like just get this right to it. And then they talk to the lawyer and she's like, um, I wouldn't, but just don't. Like he's like what if I have a black box over it? So he looks like he's just like smoking this black box and then they just cut the film because that's maybe that's a cure for whatever. I just tell you what happens. What do you mean, are you gonna see this? I've seen it. It's been a while. You saw this stop one of them? Which one did you see? The one where he smokes smoth all the time? I guess so, I don't know if I look at my phone. It was a long time ago, Andrew. It came out in two thousand nineteen. It is pretty amazing that I don't remember any of it, but it's amazing Andrew. I do remember him not dying at the end, and he was supposed to die like that. I do remember that. That's literally, like I would say, not even a big part of it. Do you remember that? So the amazing Jonathan he has this guy following him for on the documentary, and this guy's taking it very seriously. His named Ben Berman. And it also gets into the fact that Ben's mom died when he was young, and he kind of filmed his dad a lot as a kid. Not a lot, but there's like one scene where he's asking his dad about like his feelings about his mom dying. So he's kind of like they kind of set up the story like he's there's only one scene where he does it, but it seems like he was like always following around people talking about death, and so he in the end he kind of is like wait, because Amazing Anything was like, oh, so I'm I'm sucking up your documentary because I didn't die yet, so sorry Ben, And Ben's like, funck, am I like using this guy to die? Like is my film depending on him dying? And I'm mad about that? But he's really just mad about the fact that he's filming him and all these documentary crews are fulling filming him too, and Amazing Jonathan is like, but these are gonna be better, Ben, Sorry, yours is gonna come out second. These guys are gonna come out first because they're there. They made there from the same guy who made Man on Wire and Searching for Sugarman, and he's going on all these radio shows talking about, oh, this documentary crew is following him around. This guy that's filming me right now, he's a nobody. But these other guys, they're from searching for Sugarman, a Man on Wire. He does all these interviews and then Ben looks into it and he's like, the other documentary crew has nothing to do with that Searching for Sugarman guy. He's like a director in London. Who they who? They told those crew guys are fucking with him or or maybe Amazing Jonathan's fucking with him, but Amazing Jonathan's like, no, they told me they were with that guy and that he's just not involved because he's got other projects. And now he kind of just like you know, sends crews out on things he wants to do. So then he goes to London to talk to the guy that did Man and Wire and Searching for Sugar Man and he sits down with him and says, are you doing a documentary about the Maze Jonathan? And he's like no, and he's like okay, well um, and he goes, I've heard some things about like some people saying I was The thing is you can just say you're doing something and the guy at the top won't even be like no, you could. I could just say I'm in I'm in works on a movie with Spielberg. He's not firsthand involved, but his production company is doing. UM is really interested in me in there he's got. You know, it's lower levels of the network. You wouldn't know their names. But Spielberg, I'm doing a thing with great um it's it's a it's a movie about um my life. Oh it's amazing. Yea, my um my, my adolescence, just a year of my adolescence. I would love to see how he would frame that. Yeah, well you're going to His boys are on it. He's busy with other like et yeah, Rosen scene, Um, Jim mackwell, dude, you know Jim macwell, right. People always say Spielberg park. He put the I believe he was in charge of making. He took the little eggshell off when the dinosaur came out, and and he said the raptors, the raptors are actually smaller in real life, and he it was his decision, I think, to make. So he goes to this guy in London and he's like, is there a documentary about sucking amazing Donathan. He goes, now, I've heard rumblings, but like, no, that's not mine. And he goes, well, do you want one? Because I'm making one? Do you want to produce it? And the guys like and you wait, and then he goes to Amazing Jonathan, and Amazing Jonathan is in a wheelchair at this point. They've had a big falling out, and he goes to him and he's like, so you know that guy that you're doing a documentary with And he's like yeah. He's like, well he doesn't. You're not those guys that doesn't exist. He says, he has no idea what it is, but I pitched him ours and he's going to produce it. So now you are. So maybe that's all it takes. Maybe you gotta go to Spielberg with this adolescent story of when you were four to five? No, it's twenty seven. Oh it's delayed. Yeah. Wait do you think adolescens is four to five? Yeah, Ado Lessons, I thought his child like teenager childhood. Well the four to five is not well, I know that, but ad anything in your childhood? No, Ado Lessons, I would say is twelve to seventeen. No, uh, I thought it was like in the teens. Yeah, teen teens? Oh when did you sprout pubes? Like when did you turn into a man? When did your voice drop? And all that ship still waiting really to turn into a man? My voice drop? I was a very small boy. As you know, I was head shorter than anyone in my class by far. The picture is so funny, you guys, he is smaller than all the girls and he's standing with all the girls in the front row. I mean, yeah, I look like any higher I wouldn't be in the photo. Someone goes, I put in a photo, like, why does this look like you're in a school in Australia in the fifties. That's true that and so I um so I wanted to the boy that like they got from the circus, like the Littlest Boy. Oh yeah, I was looked like Simon Birch. Do you remember that movie? Kind of he was a little little boy, a little little tiny boy. I was a very tiny little boy, and I I don't I was a cute kid. But I got to I want pubes. I wanted to fucking grow because all the girls are head taller than me, and I wanted pube so bad. I told you the story. I used to look for my pubes in the backyard because there was more sunlight, and I would fucking pray to realize that there could just you could just put a lamp on them and just use a light and I want the sun is stronger. This is before ring lights. You couldn't. This is a regular laymup. Wasn't doing a trick. And I went all the way out through the yard and my mom was watching the whole time. How do you know that? Because I looked over and she was in disbelief that her son is looking for pub I bet you anything. She didn't know you were looking for pube. She just thought you were probably looking at your penis and the light, trying to see if you could find No, she yelled out the window. Have they grown out? Know who? She didn't yet. Your mom would not probably think about pubes. If I saw a little boy pulling down his pants and looking at his penis area in the sun, I would just think he was looking at his penis to see if it was like there was something down there. I wanted cube so bad, and because the cool kids all had pubes, like you know, I've told you wanted to suck his own dick, who I helped by grabbing his legs. By sucking his dick while holding his legs, you're imagine, imagine it's your own mouth, I said. And then no, but I wanted pube because he was the cool everyone. It's cool, it's good. So Um, one time I was looking at my own dick in the mirror like before, like I think I might have just started to get pubed, but I was like hoping my dick grew to like like it came like a package. And this is the saddest story. I'm looking at my dick and like I'm not trying to fluff it at all, like it couldn't be any smaller, like at the time, and both my friends were in you remember them in the room. They were in the closet for no reason, like other than like I don't know what they were doing. Maybe they were doing something close. And so I'm just looking at my dick like a sad little ba know what great is this? No? No, several seventh grade, probably seventh grade or eighth grade. And they come out They're like, we were this cloth. It's not dissembarrassing because what we're seeing out here, dude, oh my god, it was so sad. Do you know those guys still? Um? Do I know them? Yes? I do. Wonder if the silver now he's silver now sober and his peoples are silver. He's the one that wrote me apologizing for all the anti Semitic stuff he did. Oh, I didn't know that someone did that. That's nice. Yeah, because he was in I guess a twelveth step program was you know, Drew Haden defending for all that. Well, he's the one that put the swastika in the driveway and lit it on fire. You know. I think so many times kids bully into ship like that and they don't know they're being asshole. They don't know how bad it is. It's nice that he and I think that they can also rewrite history and pretend that that didn't happen, and also the Holocaust, rewrite history. Never, there's nothing never. Well yeah, I mean I think that they can also just go, oh, I didn't do that, especially even by the time you get so for him to be able to remember that, it definitely made At the time, you could tell he probably felt a little bit bad about it too. I'm sorry to stay with you because if you didn't really think anything of it. I think a lot of times bullies like forget. I mean, I was like, I'm not going to brag, but I was such a cute little kid and girls gave me attention. I got attention yeah, I think guys went after me. Did you think because the jew thing is easy when you're in an all Christian school. Yeah, that's the one thing that but you were so short too, they could have gone after that. You would think. That's how much I was really sure. Oh my god, they could just that's so frea sad it would you say response to it? I had to be creative, like I'd go after a kids acne, Like I couldn't be like you Christian, you know, because because the jew thing is so easy, because it's just like, oh, you don't pay money because you're a Jew. You know, you don't tip or whatever. You're cheap and you're a Jew. And jew is just such a strong word on its own that it got such a hard laugh on its own, you know what I mean. So then I would have to be like, you know, make fun of his way, make fun of his acne, make fun like specific things. Yeah, and it was funny too, because I'd go to camp in the summer and that was all Jewish and they make fun of me for being short and having weird nipples. You're like, I can't just please your nipples. Is that where you get that? Or did you know the nipples thing. Actually nipples thing came from my brothers, to be honest, Yeah, that's that's that get Yeah, you can't escape it, like yeah, you myself. I was trying to think of like the meanest things that were said to me as a kid, and it's always hurt my sister. It was always yeah because I didn't. I didn't. I mean I was called like a bitch and stuff and like a bucktooth beaver and stuff. But I would never say anything back because then they could just come up with something else that I would be like, oh fuck now, Like they would just keep going, like if I were you, if I had, if I had been you, I would have just taken it, because I would be scared. If I called a kid fat, they'd be like, well, also you're short and you're this, and then start going after my looks like I would be scared that it, you know, like the if they came up for me for one thing, it's not like they could stop there, and I would just be too scared. They would keep listing things and I would run out of things about them. And then the hard thing is if you're getting made fun of buck teeth, if you talk back your buck teeth. You have to, like you can't. But it was funny because, like like you said, like, oh, it's so brutal, but you get you get to a point when you get made fun of so much for something that you can't control where I think it made me funnier in a way because I would end up flipping. I would already say the joke about Jewish people before they could get to it. You know, you start making fun of yourself before anyone can say anything. Yeah. Yeah. The other day, I was wearing like a dress on set that I just looked. I felt like it looked like a little baby doll on a shelf. Like it was just a really short dress, but it was like poofy and like had big puffy sleep so it just looked like like a big T shirt on a little like a little rag doll. But it's really cute. But I just was like dying to make a joke about it before any of the Perfect Stranger Guys cast could say anything. But it was like on my mind the whole time of like I gotta make fun of this before any of them think that they can make fun of it ahead of me. Deep rooted did you do it? I didn't hear it. Now. I was gonna say something I had had a couple of lines with just never came because a lot of times it's like they're not thinking about me my fucking dress, like no one cares something. I want to sit down people after that and be like, what are you thinking about the dress? Were you looking at my shoes? Like like like you want to get into did you care about me at all? And that here's the thing. We do notice things. That's the problem as comedians or whatever a d D or whatever we are. We notice those things on other people sometimes and they don't see it on us. Yea, yeah, it's yeah. So it's a it's a great talent to be able to call out the things that because if you're a hack, then if you make fun of someone and they've already given you the thing that you're making fun of, your fucking hack, and then there's nothing worse than being someone who's un original and so yeah, you you you just constantly try to beat them to it. And a lot of these people are like, I wasn't thinking that. You don't need to say that, like it, um, I wasn't even thinking I was Jewish. So what would your brothers say at your nipples? We gotta go a break. We'll come back to find out. What did your brother say about your nipples? We're back, We're back. What did your brothers say? Do you remember like a moment specifically? It was like when we would swim in the pool and your nipples were different than there's. Because that's a bummer. Most kids look like like y'all have the same kind of bodies and stuff. Well, when you're like thirteen, you get guys get um fucking like nipple rocks like rocks, like it's calcium ruffier. But I just like, I guess compared to guys, puffy is so funny just calling him puffs, well puff chief puffs. No, I just like so. I would make them hard all the time before I got into pool, like before I would take my shirt. I still do it. I still if I'm gonna take my shirt off at the pool, I'll grab my nipples before I take my shirt off. But my nipples are in depth. I've showed you my nipples, do you. Yeah, I mean they're cheetos, They're not puffs. Maybe I've grown into them. Maybe my nipples I just would never that sucks. I mean, I do know what you're talking about. That when guys do have that, it's it's a thing. Yeah, do you um it's gonna be like I'll make my nipples hard by myself in the shower. Do you know who when you see men with their shirts off, are you looking for other puffs they'll be? Is there anyone on Perfect Strangers? Alex Hornton from high school, and he was he was jacked. He had really tiny nipples, and I always thought if I had his nipples, I would my body would look so much better because my chest would look so much more jacked if I had his nipples. My nipples took away from my chess muscles. Right, Oh my, I mean I love that question of like what you have that you always like if I if it was just this, my life would be so different. I mean, there's must have been a girl's nipples that you saw in the locker room where you were like, nipples were not my thing though, you know, like everyone has their thing. I like, I like mine are good. I think that I'm probably an Alex Horton of sorts, you know, Like I gotta say I got pretty good nipples, I've never once been like, oh, I don't like my nipples. I've seen worse nipples, way worse nipples in mine on men, and they're called like pepperoni, where they're like a weird orange. My color is nice. I have nice color for nipples. Um, yeah, so it could be it could always be worse. Also, if my nipples compared to a woman, my nipples are are are fine and day and like I should be worried if a woman thinks my nipples are puffy. But if they think my nipples are puffy, they're nipples are definitely puffy. Most women's nipples are puffier than mine, you know what I mean. So if you don't, I'm worried about what my brother thinks about my puffs. I gotta be worried due to what eight So they started saying that you had puffs like around an adolescence when they started coming through, and you just remember like being like, oh, Ship and your brothers did not have the same nipples. My little brother Dan has the smallest out of the three. And then my little brother has a like he looks like me and my brother mixed, and his nipples are right in between. I told you one time when I was taking a back with my sister, she saw my clatoral hood which is coming in more than hers, and she said to my mom NICKI as a penis. And I was fifth grade, but I wasn't like developing yet, like and by the way, like I don't look like but like there's I just have a normal I mean I watched a lot of poor and mysine is really basic. Um, but at the time it was, I mean, what could be more devastating than having a saying you have a penis when you're a girl in the bath with your sister. So it just went into like, okay, I'm well, I'm never gonna get naked around this girl again, and now it's always going to be. And I found a diary entry of like of mine from the diary from when You're Young, And no, it wasn't a diary, I'm sorry. It was a It was a note to Kurston that Kursen sent me and it was a picture of the note and I can't this is how close cursed and I were like I could tell her as that's why I thought it was a diary. I'm like, why would I write this down to someone? But there were like I remember it was a seventh grade and my mom was doing My sister was such a prat to me. She like saw my underwear and they had like ships, you know, like maybe a little ship and the linga ship like a ship shriek. You know, it's just a fucking kid. It was just it wasn't like a whole crowd, and she was like, you're just disgusting, Nikki, and my mom and her laughed at me, and I stowe in the note that my mom and her laughed, and I'm like, I can't picture my mom ganging up. I'm sure my adolescent brain was just like everyone had laughed, and my mom was just like, Nikki, shut up, who cares everyone in the bat or something like yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was pointing and more like like my mom just being so cruel. It's like a movie when they it's like a real close zoom and like ha ha, and you just see people laughing at you and holding a martini. Like and I was just listening to a Hidden Brain podcast about memory and how like, you know, we all know that our memory is completely stew based on what really happened. So you wrote this to Kirsten. When is she right back? Oh no, I didn't. I didn't have like the correspondtory and put together in sequence. But um, because I don't. I have all the notes that they gave me. But mostly they my friends are better at like keeping things than I am, and so I have all my writing, but they have none of theirs because it was all went to me, you know what I'm saying. So it's kind of nice that I got all my ship. Um, But I was listening to this podcast about memory, and it's it's so much worse than I thought in terms of what we remember and what we think happened. And you know how like when you see a picture of yourself in a photo album and you can suddenly like kind of be like, oh yeah, I do remember that birthday party or that thing, like you can almost even though before you saw the picture it is not in your memory at all. You were too or whatever, Like when you know a question from Jeopardy and you're like, what how did that get in there? No, this is more like this is more like you if you've seen a picture or not pictures of an event that otherwise you probably would not remember, but you think you remember it because you've seen pictures of it. So that is a completely false memory that has been put back in your brain. It's not the same one that it's not from when you did that thing. It's a fake memory because they found that when researchers put people in photoshop in photos of events that they did not witness and asked them to look through the photos and then tell them about the events, they make up a story where they went, uh, in a hot air balloon and they've never been in a hot air balloon and because of the photo exists, and they go, oh, yeah, I do remember that. And I was trying to think of if I saw myself in a hot air balloon. I think it's true though, because I was thinking about it. If I saw myself in a hot air balloon as a kid, like just standing in one, like someone did a good enough photoshop, I would just go, I guess I forgot that, and I would make up the memory and I could probably come up with a memory that feels really real, and they I didn't. I originally started listening to podcast because I'm a nine eleven head and I was in a deep Reddit threat about um people on nine eleven don't really. They they found that people's nine eleven stories are completely fabricated, not like I was in Build Tower two and they were in fucking you know, cannetic you know, Nebraska, but um right, but not like the ones that are made up on purpose. But people really do think that different things like that. It was different times of day, Like there's certain things where you go, oh, there's this, there's this amazing Um, what's the Magellan effect for the Yes, Magellan effect is where you think every explorer's named Magellan. That's a common thing that happens on the show. There's a Mandela effect of um in South America. I gotta look up this up Mandela. It's so you guys, there's an a Mandela effect I found about on Reddit that I cannot but you know, the classic Mandela effects where you think something happened everyone in in in everyone you know is like, that's certainly a thing, and then you look back and it's like it's not classic. One is Berenstein Bears. It's not barren Stein Bears, it's burn Steain Bears, something like that. I don't know. Yes, I see what you're saying. So the Mandela fact was first going. In two thousand nine, she created a website to detail her observance of the phenomenon. Broom was at a conference This is a woman's name, talking with other people about how she remembered the tragedy of former South African president Nelson Mandela's death and a South African president in the nineteen eighties. However, Nelson Mandela did not die in the eighties in a prison. He passed away in two thousteen, and she began to talk to other people about her memories. She learned that she was not alone. Others people remembered seeing the news coverage. Okay, so notable examples are luke, I am your father. Um, people remember Darth Vader uttering the famously luke, I am your father. You might be surprised to learn that the line was actually no, I am your father, Mirror mirror on the wall, miror mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? You may be shocked to learn that the line was actually magic mirror on the wall, Oscar Meyer. Some people claim to remember the brand being spelled m e y e er instead of it's being spelled mayor, like John Mayer um Burns Berenstein Bears. People remember Barrenstein Bears, is they're not people remember that the name being barren Stein Bears spelled with an E instead of an A, and it's actually Bear barren Stain Bears. Yeah, it's interesting that like that is that one's crazy? But there's one. What about Shazam? Do you remember Susam who's in Shazam? Uh Shaquille O'Neill. That's true. Um, people think Sinbad Chasam in the nineties he was in Jingle All the Way or some ship. Oh, I thought he was in like Kazam. There's one though, that is so insane that I could not believe. Oh that everyone's freaking out about Fruit of the Loom. Yeah, that one gets me. Do you know that one? I always thought it was fruitable. I think I put be in there somewhere. No, that's not it. For the Loom, do you remember? I don't think this would get you. I think you're I think you're misremembering. Okay, for to the Loom, do you remember what the the graphic looks like for Fruit of the Loom underwear? Do you remember what the icon is? It's like grapes or something. Yeah, Okay, do you remember corn ucopia? Do you know what that is? Do you know you don't know what a cornucopia is? Kind of No, what do you know? No, I haven't heard of that. It's a Um it's a cone like thing that like a basket that turns into a cone and then the fruit spills out. Yes, yes, did it have a cornucopia? I thought it has a basket. I thought a basket too. There's no basket. There's no cornycopia. There never has been, not fruit. People cannot believe it. And if you go, people have drawn images of what they think it looked like the Corney kobea and you look at the image and you go, oh my god, that's totally what it was. But it's just a rendering based on memory. It never existed. There's all these ones that are so good. Um, it's weird to me. The Mandela things sparked this kind of stuff because I felt, like John Madden he died this year. I thought he died fifteen years ago. Like, I get that one. I think it's like a different but I'm surprised that this sparked this for her. You know what I mean, what do you mean like she just thought Mandela died. Oh right, It would be one thing if you thought his name was like Mandela, not Mandela, you know what I mean? Um, does that make sense? Yeah, But I'm surprised that her thinking that guy died sparked looking into these things. There's some one in South America that I can't find, but people believe that when a big event happened, it was something like on It's like when I when I was watching when the O J. H. Simpson trial was happening, When the o J stuff was happening, they got into a obviously he was on that highway chase, and I remember sister sister being on and it was interrupted for sister sister. So that's my memory. I almost want to check the timeline to see if it could even be possible that sister sister was playing at the time, because that's the way I remember it. Because everyone in South America remember some big event like that interrupting a children's show that a bunch of kids were watching. I forget the event. I'm sorry that I can't. This is not but they all remember it or interrupted the children's show, and that was show was not on at that time, and so no one understands how that could possibly be. And that's like a game a telephone, like you know what I mean, Like did one person have that memory and then yeah, they maybe went on TV and said I can't believe this, and then it kind of steam rolls from there. I have no you know what happens. I think the corny coopia thing, like I think for the Loom probably had a commercial where they had their low go on a lot and it was this fruit and it was all And then I think there was another commercial at the time that probably had a corn of copia with fruit and they just got mash in our brains and now no one can remember the other thing that was running at the time. It's like it's so much. But I just realized the other night listening to this podcast. I always think that I'm better than people who don't remember very well. Like I'm always like, actually, no, my memory is correct. You're all wrong. You I know that, I know that everyone susceptible of their memories being changed. But now I realized, like anything I think, yeah, or it's just a picture, I saw that the ourselves and then we go to therapy and then we tell these people and then they diagnosed us with like, but we could have had the whole memory. Like I've definitely brought up things to my parents and I don't know that's where it's gaslighting maybe on their part where they don't think they were as bad or and so that you know you remember when you did this and be like no. It's like when I told my dad, I was like, I don't remember that many of my games, He's like, what are you talking about? I went to all your game? Oh my god, who's right? Well the whole time? Yeah, and he wasn't. Yeah. I can't believe you watch that documentary. It's it's wild. I don't think you watch so many things and you don't watch them. I can't think you can say you watch things that they're just on the background, in the background when you're watching TikTok golf videos. Do you know what I mean? Yeah? But you know what, I have a pretty good memory, like especially things I hear, like I'm an audio auditory learner. But you can't multitask people. This is another thing everyone thinks their exception to it. Your brain literally cannot take in two different kinds of information at one time and actually give them the amount of attention needed to understand them. It's impossible. Yeah, yes, your hand can do one thing on the being over here and one thing on the like that's different. That's like you're not processing that information. You You cannot be on your phone and listen to something at the same time and pay attention to both. It's impossible. There was that episode of Luis though, where his daughter was on her phone while they were at like either like a show like you're shifting, you're doing a tennis match. But then he like talked to her about it and she remembered everything, and he's like, Oh, their generation is different because they can multitask because they've been doing a thing. Proves me wrong from what I remember a fictional story wrong. No, I know what you mat Oh man, if you didn't hear it here first, where did you hear it? Because boy would I be upset if you heard it somewhere else. It's Thursday, folks, you know what that means. It is Thursday. I hope you're having all the swells out there. It's pretty much the weekend. So go have fun, get naked, do some bad things, regret it on Sunday, and then get right back to Monday, all right, Chicago Police, do I hope people get naked with the shower this weekend? Like, that's what I think of when you go get naked and don't pinch your nipples, let him, let him a little loose in the shower, unless you're in there with someone else, and then fucking unless you're in there with your brother. Didn't didn't tighten them up? Or what was the guy with good nipples? What's his name? Yeah? Or if you're in there with great nipples, I mean wanting someone else's thing and thinking it's gonna change your life, we gotta we gotta go around Robin on that one and come up with ones. Chicago Police rescue eighty year old woman held hostage for seventeen hours by a naked intruder after her daughter raised the alarm because she hadn't sent the solution for the day's wardle So, but I understand the woman was asleep in bed when a mentally old man naked broke into her house and climbed into bed with her. Knew her, She knew her mom was in distress when she had not sent her word, or she did it on a regular basis, on a daily basis. So she was concerned, and so she thought her mom probably tied or something happened. So a crazy guy did the I do anything to the poor woman. Uh yeah, he actually got the last He got the word on the fourth one for her. That what I heard. No. He then dragged her in his hour and then the bath before locking her in the basement bathroom with her eldest daughter in Seattle noticed that her mother was not responding. She called the police, and a standoff lasting several hours. The man was stunned and arrested, and Halt was rescued unharmed. Um. Yeah, I think that that really does make me think about I get every single day. I get world results from Chris, and if I didn't get him, I feel like he was just mad at me or something. I wouldn't even check on as well being. I'd just be like, oh, I guess I did something, or do I guess we're not He's being held up for eighteen hours by naked woman I'll kill Yeah, Yeah, I mean you know, I mean it's pretty It makes me to connect with people, you know that, like and I heard of this before, of like someone orders a pizza every day from the dominoes and then one day they don't and they do a wellness check because it's like, well, something must be up because this person I see them every day doing this thing. But word all is a great way. Like every I'm like, I'm back on I'm back in it too. And St. Louis, if you didn't show up, the girl here already knows. I know she knows you through your order through me. I was thinking about today and I think it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me because she doesn't seem to be annoyed with me, like, oh, this dumb ringo getting her fucking drink. She's like she she doesn't seem to hate me when she goes, are you NICKI like when she says that, and then people from the show I've been going to perfect Strangers go to get me a coffee. She has said to them, is this for Nicky? That's so cute? And isn't it funny that you get the same exact drink is me now, but it's the same drink completely different, so different. Don't you think that maybe that drink should be like you know what Taylor Swift at or like own Star Wars drink. It's a good drink, right, like, it's not just me. Yes, it is a venty extra hot because I drink things fast, so I need them extra I can't stand a cold thing. Um venty extra hot almond milk latte with two pump one pump in Mexico because the sugar free strip is a little strong here, but generally two pumps of sugar free vanilla. And then to Stevia. This was the thing I went to order for you. No almond milk. You don't want anything which you have almond milk here, I know, but it's not the same as theirs, and it's not it's not steamed, which gives it a frothy nous that I like. I mean, that's how that's like the we're very similar in a lot of ways. Well that's why that's why I am like, why do you like anything in particular? Like why don't you just get what you like instead of what I like? If nothing were matters to know, But I like that, right, But I'm fine with changing, right, right, that's the difference. You know, it's got to be my way or no way. But but you've had other drinks at Starbucks before that you've enjoyed, Yes, and you want the caffeine right like you do coffee black. I've seen you do that, yes this morning, because I'd rather just have a diet coke to get the coffee, because a lot of times I like or you have to get the caffeine. A lot of times I will do black coffee if it's like I'm cold on set. Some sometimes I want a coffee because I want the warmth of it um, and this morning I wasn't really dying for the warmth and iced coffee black is abhorrent to me. I would never do that, and and yeah, and so I will never and I don't want black coffee. If you can do Stevio but no milk, I will do a nice coffee with almond milk, with no um sweetener or with no like vanilla. But it's it's all fucking I just like it the way I like it. I'm not I'm not trying to give you sh it. I'm just saying it's it's just entered. I'm sure there's people out there that have before you met me, because I feel like so many of your tastes have now been hijack by well you eat healthier than me. So obviously you know you've taken probably some traits from me somehow that don't that don't involve food, But like, what the hell does that sound? I'm trying to think of traits I've taken from of you. I've made you more relaxed as a human, more silly. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, Okay, that's true. So you've taken some of my silliness and I've taken your Starbucks order. No, but if you eat healthier, like you get the vegan cream cheese, I do have like a lactose thing. Whenever I have fucking like cream cheese or like milk, regular milk, it sucks my belt? How do you not know about these things before I start doing them? Though? Like would if milk funk my belly up? I would just look into alternatives. But you just keep doing it until you go, oh, yeah, you're eating that thing. What is that like? Because you're a guy that just goes to the grocery store, will go down one aisle, and that's if you're in a hurry. I will go down every aisle to find the thing I want. You'll just go whatever you got is fine. It's so interesting to me, I don't know, I just don't. You just don't give a ship, but one aisle over there could be something better. See. That's what I'm talking about when it comes to like marriage and relationships. What if the better choice is one aisle away. And you know that meme where they always show a guy digging and they show him giving up right before, and it's like, um, it's showing a guy digging in the ground and there's like gold or something he's trying to get, or it's like you, no, no, no, there's like a big room with all like a crypt, you know, with all this golden sarcophic eye and stuff like that, and he's digging through and there's a long dig and then he's just tirelessly and then you just see him going like I can't anymore and there's just this much left to dig through and he would have gotten to the crypt, but instead he's going to give up because it's just been too long. I'm always thinking that there's going to be that room that I shouldn't settle for whatever I get, because there's always could be something better. Until I've gone to every aisle of the grocery store, especially a new one that I don't know where everything is, it's in a different country. I need to see every crevice to know that I'm getting the best thing that for me and that and that is why if I struggle with dating, is because or not even dating, because dating doesn't lock you in. It's not like you're like eating it yet getting married. Getting married, I feel like is until you've made sure that you've you have the best, I don't want to do it and how could you ever? No, I mean, I guess even like a relationship where it's like you think it's all perfect, there is a possibility that somewhere around the world, or better there in India or China, because that's where most people are, but there's someone better out there for you, or someone as good. The odds that you met the best person for you just it's not possible. And especially given the history of humanity and everyone that's ever lived, there's definitely been people in other What's worse the unsettling, the unsettling of like of of trying to find that person for the whole your whole life and never finding them, and you put the things in your shopping cart until there's other things that are better and if those things that are better come along, you can dump the things in your shopping cart unless they stack up to it. Because that's how I feel about relationships. If if people are getting rid of their cart, like yeah, it happens, yes, yeah, And I'm not too to be like to take something less just in case, and then when something more, it's like, all right, you take the best you can get at all times. Like you know, if I'm on a road trip and I don't know what food options are going to be coming along, it's not time for lunch. It like you don't do this because you don't plan ahead. But like if I'm going on a road trip and we stop at a gas station, I don't know if there's gonna be a hundred miles of nothing ahead, but it's not time for lunch. Let's say it's eleven. I'm gonna be hungry at one, but I don't know what's going to be around us at one. I will get something at eleven at that gas station that will suffice me at one o'clock if there's no other options, But I won't eat it until it's time to eat it, and I know that there's no other options. Why I'm eating the chicken salad sandwich at ever the fuck yes, and you won't plan ahead feet a little bit better about that, maybe probably because of you, but like just or growing up, just preparing, yeah, or like just you know, the other day, like yesterday on set of Perfect Strangers, they had a bunch of like sandwiches just sitting there at like eleven in the morning, and the old men probably would have taken down three of those and not even thought about it and then being like, all right, then I'll eat later at like five. I didn't need them because I was like, no, I don't want this. I just want this to fill me up. So instead I had a protein bar and then had a healthier lunch. That's like a big improvement for me to not just eat sandwiches. You're not saying sandwiches are that bad. I'm just saying, like it just wouldn't. It wasn't the food I wanted. Yes, waiting until it's the thing you want, it's all right, next story, But it also gets in my way for sure. Speaking of is oh eaight uh? A personal stylist recommends you never wear this one piece of clothing on a first date. Um, you're fucking Confederate flag bandana. Actually that's the only thing you should wear, That's what she says. A nude bra a white shirt. I would tell my clients to avoid anything that is fussy or difficult to clean or to keep clean. A great first day to outfit should be less about fashion and more about you. Because of that, you may want to skip extremely bright colors, patterns, puff sleeves, puff nipples, and over the top ruffles and ruffle nipples. This is also stupid. It's very dumb. I love these kinds of stories though, because they are I have got on you know, I went on a couple of dates, like over the summer, I guess I don't know with someone and it was like, you know, first dates, you know the person at all, like online meeting and like what to wear was such a conn I've never dealt with that of like usually I'm dating people that are I already know in my life, somewhat like thinking about, oh my god, is the first time they're seeing me. There was a lot of like I don't want to try too hard. I also want to look like really natural. I want to look think I'm not Like there's a lot of thoughts I mean I still remember what I wore. I mean it was a white tank top because it looked like sexy but casual, just playing white tank top, nothing over it. No, it was like a white like spaghetti strap with the spaghetti straps had like this like really cute like lacy kind of thing on it, so it was decorate. It was, you know, definitely cute. But I've never worn it again for some reason because I just didn't. I don't know, I looked, I looked great, but I definitely my hair I think was like kind of not even dry yet because I was doing like natural waves and I was just a little bit running later. I mean I was running my seven minutes late. I just there was a part of me that was, like I remember pursuing guys back in the day of like that I needed to look perfect for and be this like perfect image of what they wanted me to be, and I just I was even, yeah I I and now I'm just like okay, I can look. I want to look eighty percent as good as I could look. I want to leave a little bit to go. But bam, wait, look at this. That's smart. Yeah, that's really smart. Because we all dress as well as we can at what I do about on a daily basis. Oh yeah, I mean, look, I'm yeah, I wear the same thing every day. But I'm yeah, I I know you date, we would have so much more room though, make up, hair, to like do to look better. I were I wear like, Um, you're probably honestly right now, how much you would change if you were really trying on a date with a casual look. You probably wear that at You probably wear that. You're probably right now, dud, And this is you waking up so that yeah, right now, I'm I do have makeup on, and my hair is if I brushed it out, is probably good from last night. I would definitely wear this on a date. I'm probably at about right now, but my outfit is garbage. Yeah, I mean I think it's funny because for me, my a date, I'll wear like boots, like leather boots or whatever, and I never, you know me, I never wear I never, And I'll wear those on the front and that's like me, I'm gonna show off like wearing this regular like they're not even like boots that are like really gonna stand out differently on a date. I'll eat like like I'll go, I'll get dessert. I'm not trying to say that, like I'm not usually a dessert person, but I'll like, I'll just be It's not even like I'm trying to be like I'm normal. I just like I just am on a date. It just becomes who I am, like this woman that presents as normal and it's not a it's just eating a cheeseburger. Honestly, the things I've eaten on dates, like the meals I've chosen where I'm like, I just want this. I'm just like I surprise myself. I'm like, it's just never something I would order with my friends, but I'm like craving different things. It's it's it's interesting I always ordered dick. Yeah, you always get dick and balls on the side. Wait, why why do you not? This is the problem though. If you don't eat exactly what you mean on that first date, when do you break out? Do whatever? Do I how do what I want to do? I'm just saying on date for on first dates, for some reason, I don't want my normal Like I definitely on a first date plan on kissing someone, and I'm a little bit nervous. I'm generally not as hungry, and when I'm not hungry, I know that I can eat like a smaller amount, and so I get something that's going to be filling in a smaller portion because I know that I just I'm gonna be sick if I eat if I eat too much. But generally I like hogging food and shoveling in my I love big amounts of food. If I'm not nervous, I'm eating tubs and tubs of food. So in that sense, I want something like lighter. And it's not because I'm like calories. I just know that I won't be able to eat voluminous amounts of food if it's really talking so much more on a first date than like like that's the most you speak to the person you're gonna do. I remember me and Brenna on our first day, we got like a hummus thing or like eggplant whatever, like there we you know, by the end of the day they're still hummus left. That's how you know how much we were like trying to live. Yeah, we're nervous, trying to impress each other, having a great time, but if you know there's hummas left, it's probably you might actually if you're there and there's hummus left, and you're not doing this with your finger and scraping it off the plate. I'm not coming someone someone a lot of attention, like I cared a lot. Let's go to break and come back with our weekly sports moment. Co my sound excited? All right, it's a weekly sports moment. Tears Andrew's weekly sports Moment. I feel like it's been a long time since we've heard it, all right, I know the clock is ticking. Serena Williams, forty years old, said she's prepared for retirement from tennis and she wants more kids. Forty year old Stars has admitted he's been getting herself ready to step away her age twice already in this Yeah, yeah, that is true. I am prepared for today the first time journalist of course daily Mail. You know, at the end of the day, I think it's really important to always have a plan, and that's kind of what I did. I always had a plan. Serena has a four year old daughter, Olympia with her husband Alexis has a daughter's ages as a wealth of business venture D's age no interesting, interesting, Yeah, it is interesting. I guess he's not the main focus. But still, why is the daughter's age is there because she's depending how young a kid is, you have to pay more attention to him or something. Probably it's it's but yes, i'd see what you're saying. I don't think it's a thing about the girl, the daughter being a woman or anything. Has a wealth of business ventures aside from tennis career, and she admitted some times her pack schedule can be overwhelming. Again, she has a four year old daughter more to prove in tennis. I mean, I guess it would be cool as a forty something year old woman to like win, she has to prove. I mean, she's one more. I mean it's insane. Yeah, she can go do other things. And I think she she's someone who looks like she really enjoys being a mom. Yeah, I mean I think what you know, people keep living longer. I feel like, well, tennis tends to be a young persons sport. Like the fact that you know, I would say the average winner of most Grand Slams is probably like tops, So she's fifty, you know what I mean, Like, but they're you know, Federer is forty and he's still doing it. But you know, when do you quit. When do you just say it's hard all right, Like that's your whole that's who you are, that's what everyone values you as. Yeah, I mean yeah, I was the amazing Jonathan thinking. He was like said, you know everyone, there comes an end for every one. Everyone. You gotta just you. You fall out of favor people, you're not as strong, you're not as good as you used to be. It will happen to all of us. At whatever we do for a living, We're gonna peak and then it's gonna People don't really get that much better at things when they start getting never being successful or quitting being very successful. I think they're both very hard times to quit, you know what I mean, Like the idea of like, oh it can still happen and then stepping away. Yeah. Um. You gotta think though that most people don't become what they want. I know, That's what I'm saying. Yea, including me a pop star, you know, like yeah, and I'm not playing professional baseball a lot of yeah, you just it's it's rare. You get your dream and walking away from it would be tough. But that just means you have to fulfill your life with other things because it's not about playing tennis, or it's not about doing stand up. It's about like how it makes you feel. It's about it gives you worth. And if you are able to have self worth without those things then or you know, when people are moms and all they are or moms and they don't know what else the funk they are without being a mom, and all their kids become self sufficient, that's when moms start going fucking crazy and begging you to have grandchildren so that they can keep it, keep it fucking up because they don't have anything else. They start playing tennis, they really do, but and then they become like the best at their club. But like, yeah, it's never reverse, it's never reversed. Never, Like I was a mom until I was forty, and then I became a Grand Slam tennis winner. Like, yeah, it is hard to fill that gap. Um, yeah, and I'm sure I don't know. I mean, she she could play doubles until she's probably fifty five years old and still be competitive. These people even like tennis, they're good at it. I mean, I remember under Agassi in his book, he fucking hated tennis. It's just something these girls weren't they forced to play it at a young age. Do they actually like it? Um? I think they, I mean it got him to I don't know. I think the end, I'm sure they enjoy the game, but like they can still play. It's not like you're they're barred from playing it. They can still play it. They just can't compete anymore. It's it's it's competing. Is that still having a crowd? I would go, people would still go to see her play. It's the it's the you know, competing that people caring about, like if it's winning. The start of the article, though, it was interesting because it was her dad that was encouraging her to consider retirement. Oh wow, He's like, you're finally he's gonna start training her to do that. Yeah, He's like, you finally, you finally made it to where I thought you'd be twenties Grand Slams later. He's like you could quit now, yeah, Or he's just like, listen, you're not as good as I wanted you to be. It's never gonna happen for you. My god, I wanted you to win twenty Grand Slams. So it's really not even it's you should probably quite at this point yeah, you're never really going to live up to what I thought you were gonna be. Let's get the fans Rex all right, let's hear it. What is what of the best he's got to say this week? Okay, let's start off with a voicemail from Marla. In the podcast opening song, I swear I hear Nikki's name right before Noah says here's Nikky. And I always wondered if that was a little hand rip for us over if it's unintentional, And I really want to know if I'm the only one who hears it. Um, I've been wanting to message this for ages, but I hate my voice. And then I'm home with COVID, so I decided I don't care. I'm gonna just ask because no one has So I love you guys. This is from Canada. Him Marla, so right before yeah, she has a great voice. I mean COVID helps it gives it a raspiness. But I'm sorry that you have COVID in Canada. Um. So she hears us say Nicky right before you say yeah. So it's just the Nicki Glazer podcast. And then I say, here's Nikki, but she hears Nicki right before it. Yeah, maybe NICKI doesn't did they say Nicki Glazer podcast very quietly and no one hears it on the Should we play it again? Yeah? Hold on, I'm gonna let's listen for Nicki. Right before Noah would say here's Nicki, so don't say here'st And that's what I would say. She's talking about that like high thing that's going nick no I, nick I think this is a Mandela. I think she's maybe maybe I maybe, I don't know, Marla, what did you hear it? Then? I'm really it would be weird if we had a secret message. I do say if you play backwards, it says Paul is dead, but that is that's not what she's talking about. Um, I don't know. I do love her using ham drip incorrectly, but also it's like the word funk. How you could use it in so many different ways. Oh, ham drip can be anything. Fashion Egg, Yeah, that would be a fashion Egg. Would have a great voice. Please call again with anything. I didn't listen to that voice. And I want to know, like where you really hear it, so if you can like specify and I want to shout out to our fan. Trex from I think last week. Who was it? I asked her she was in Missoula. Do you remember that girl? She had a beautiful voice, and I asked her please make an a SMR of her just talking. She sent me one she wrote on she wrote me on what's it called? Uh fuck um Instagram? Yeah, and she was like, hey, I know maybe you weren't serious, but it sounded like you were. And I decided to tell you about Missoula in a five minute thing. And I gave her my email and I'm looking for it now because it probably got sent to a little spammy mailbox. But I will be listening to that. I'm so excited that she did that. I'm so psyched I should listen to it last night when I couldn't sleep. But thank you for that. Okay. Next one is from Marnie Marlon Marnie love It, Nikki, Andrew and Noah, this is Marnie Um. I've called you guys before, and you told us about Marnie schlappy Um. But I wanted to call you guys and ask if you've heard the new song Gospel by Dr Dre and eminem Um. They rhyme full throttle and hit the bottle um. Just like Andrew. I think they were maybe listening to the pod and they played your eyes, but I wanted to give credit where credit was due. And if you haven't heard it, I'll sing it for you. It goes a little something like this, please yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Dre, are you ready? Check check check check, And then a bunch of verses and then this ship. Here's that problem living at the bottom of the bottle throttle my mama. You guys gotta listen to it, Oh my God, and say I love you guys, love you. And I know I don't have an a s m R voice, but don't gospel by M and M and Dr Dre. All right, love you bye. From one not a SMR voice to another. You have a great voice and it's very uh. I'm not judging. I don't want anyone to not call in because you don't have an SMR voice. I think I started something here and I don't want anyone to be insecure about your voice. As someone who also hates to send their own voice when I hear it, just know that, like you, you're wrong about everyone thinks they hate their own voice. I'm a broadcaster and I hate my own voice, so you know, don't don't worry about it. But we I don't think there's anyone's voice that I hate so much that I would ask you to not call in. Um. She did a great job singing that song. I know she did. She I want to know does she listening to every like New dre eminem Drop. I guess that's the everyone's excited about the Super Bowl? Will they sing full throttle there? What's the song called again? Gospel? Gospel? How did you find it? Because it did send Maybe she was one of them. But yeah, a few people wrote me saying that I should sue dr full Throttle Bottle, and he says, Mama, I know, really, really, fuck dude, you're a genius. I did. Oh my god, Oh Joe. Joe Lynn is uh the one who sent me the Missoula Montana five minute a SMR thing And I just found it, Joe, so thank you so much for sending that to me. I'm not gonna play it, but I will be playing it tonight to or actually probably in an hour when I take a nap. Oh my god, I can't wait to hear about Missoula and Dulce tones of Joe Okay, we have a story from Ashley about her therapy session. Oh hey, Nikki and Andrew and Nellah, uh, this is Ashley. Um. I was calling because today I had a therapy appointment and um, I don't know. I thought that you guys might appreciate this, mainly Nikki UM, but I referenced uh Taylor Swift's All Too Well during my session today, talking about a guy who basically gas lit me and minimize what the context of our relationship was. And I was talking to my therapist and I was like, you know, like that Taylor Swift song All Too Well, and she was like looking at me, like, what the hell are you talking about? You know, like the Jake Dylan Hall one. Anyways, there's this line where she's saying, you never you never, um, you never called it what it was, and uh that's how a heal right now. She just kind of looked at me blankly, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, this is my rock bottom. I don't know, but it's not. Maybe you guys would appreciate that so everything, but oh that's my favorite new lyric in that song. Oh my gosh, what was her name again? Ashley Swum Ashley that was my favorite um new lyric in that song. Uh, you were always skipping town and you were uh and I was thinking on the drive down anytime now you're gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. It's so good. It's happened to me so many times to actually where you just these after the fact. It's easy for them to, you know, and this happen girls do two guys too. It's easy for them after the fact. Two because no one wants to break someone's heart, no one wants to hurt someone. So if they can convince themselves it wasn't really anything real and that they don't have any accountability, then they can escape any kind of blame and then they can make you out to be the crazy one. So it's dude, it's such a perfect lyric and it does it. It definitely hit me hard. And that's happened to be a bunch and it's a common thing and maybe and then we're talking about memory now and now I'm like, God, did I remember it wrong? Like that's what gaslighting is. They make you think like, oh, fuck, am I like a crazy girl who like thinks we had something more? Yeah, Like it was on the verge to marriage. But regardless of if you're a crazy girl or not, like you felt that way, and um, i'd love to see you, Nikki, talking to your therapist and you're only talking in Taylor Swift songs and see how like it would be amazing because I've seen the thing where like they like a guy or girl will text there only lyrics, like one line at a time, and they'll be like, yeah, dude, I'm not like I don't know. It's just really funny to see the response. All he had to do was stay he had me in the problem of his hand and lock me out when I was trying to let him in. I mean, I don't know what you how are you feeling at the time, Like, um, you know, if I wanted to know who he was hanging with, I would have while I was gone. I would have asked him, well, is he honest with you? You think? Well, yeah, I mean just casually cruel in the name of being honest that happens. I could do this, I could really do. We should make a video like that. It'll be really funny. I'll play you to therapist if you want. Yeah, that would be fun. Um, all right, let's go to the next one. Thank you so much for that. Okay, any tailors with stuff I love. The next one is Bobby with the story I Andrew, Nicki and Noah. This is Bobby calling in from Berlin. Um. I was listening to the pot the other day and you guys were talking about the Mile High Club, and I was just inclined to share a story. So when I was in high school, I did this exchange program where like sixty international students get together and you live on a TLL ship and you travel and you study, and you become sale traces. And as you do when you put sixty teenagers together, everyone ends up coupling up and falling in love. Blah blah blah. Uh. So I was one of those kids, and my boyfriend and I we at the end of the semester. We were flying home to separate places, and we were on the plane before we had to say goodbye, holding hands across the aisle, crying. It was the whole thing. We ended up going to the bathroom and one thing led to another and we had sex. Um. So, yeah, one thing they don't tell you is that it gets extremely teeny and hot in the bathroom. After you have sex and the mirrors completely fog up and there's always gonna be like ten people outside wanting to use the bathroom. So my boyfriend scoots out past this line of people. I try to fix the mirrors, rub my eyes to make it look like I was crying, like that's not what we were just going there and anyway, and I joined him on are you the worst walk of shame that you can never do? U? So yeah, anyway, no one I ever said anything, and I think they just felt bad for us, so we got away with it. Anyway, Love you, guys, I love you. Oh my god, that's such a good idea. I was always because I was I was like, oh my god, people always going to know what you do in there. Just act like you're having like an episode, Like no, I was just all over your face afterwards. That's the only way to do it is to be like, but why would you if your boyfriend come in and help you with your explosive diary. He's such a good man. You can only get away with it. Or maybe you act blind and he's like you're seeing I boyfriend or a guy you know, I boyfriend. There was another story of another girl like, I was listening to the other and she was on a church group and she jerked off these teen tours. Don't let your kids go because they're gonna get fucked in the air. I mean, no, it's awesome. I mean it's awesome. It's just amazing. Yeah, there was another church group and she's like, I jerked him off on the plane, but I didn't do it to complete because I was still afraid to come. I relate to that so much. Let's get some final thought. Final thought, we should talk about Instagram photos. We got sent a good amount. They didn't really help the debate because so, yeah, here's the problem. It's my my. My whole hypothesis is based on women who have a big male following. And I realized. I went to go get a diet coke before we did the show, and I was trying to find example, Like I was going through all my girlfriends and people I followed to be like, Okay, let me just find some examples here. Why can't I just like search here because I can see how many likes things get. I could do this, and I realized I want to. I want to spend some time on it um to build my case. But I think that reliable. I was trying to think of female comics who have big male followings. I couldn't really think of that many. I did find a great example of the girl that's in um the New jackass Uh. She perfect example of her and her boyfriend. The only picture she has of them nine likes. Everything else is like thousands and thousands, Um, it's it's gonna It's my hypothesis about if you have a mostly female female are supportive of relationships, whether they like the guy or not, that they're following. It's it's if you have a male following as a woman, you are going to get way way less like on a picture of you and your boyfriend. It's just gonna be the way it is because men are threatened, and like, I think it's kind of what I said yesterday is brilliant. Women know that if a man that they like is with a girl, they could still fuck them. Because men are yes more non monogamous by nature. There's still a chance, even if that guy is a good person, there's still a chance he might fuck you, whereas when a girl is coupled up off limits to like, women just aren't as non monogamous and so men are much more threatened as they should be from not being able to fuck you if you have a boyfriend, as opposed to women seeing you a guy with a girl, even if it's the case or not, we've learned to or at least I've learned that a lot of people are sending in photos where when you're solo, you're like in a bikini, or you're wearing like no bra or a lot of skin is showing. And then with your boyfriend, you're wearing nineteen you're looking like bridgertin over there you're wearing like nineteen years And then you're comparing those two and that's not a fair compared. It's really like I was thinking about it, sometimes the quality of a photo, which you don't understand because you just put whatever photo you fucking take. You don't understand like making a photo look sharper an image or like or just turning the color up, yeah, yeah, making it look more aesthetically pleasing, you know, wiping off the lens, lying, Yeah, wiping off the lens and turning on a lamp. Yeah, that's not who you are. That's going to make get you more like that the photo just looks nicer. So there's all these variables. But I do think my new thing that I'm going to go really deep in this afternoon probably is women who are musicians. Men like female musicians, female comics. There's not a lot of female comics that men prefer. Like most most men like thing of all my female comic friends, and it's most of them have female followings. I would think. I mean, I wouldn't have guessed that mine. I'm seu men. It's it's really weird and actually a lot of sense because I have sent women, yeah the whole your your whole theory as well as like, so when I put up a pitcher in relationship, it gets more likes because yeah, interesting, Yes, women will very much support that. You know what I want to see. I want to see women dress as scandalous as possible next to their boyfriend, and I want to see that. Well, I'm going to go through because female musicians. I'm friends with a lot of them, and they have huge male followings because men always think that like this singer songwriter woman is like they there's a part I've I've had guy friends who are like fans of you know, the Maggie Rodgers is the on your marinas, the like Vincent Vincent. Yeah, and they have this like they love the idea of fucking this girl and they think that they get this girl on a different level, like these guys just in the front row, like she gets me, and it's these are the ones. I'm going to go look through their following. And also girls that do like are on male podcasts. They probably have a lot of male followers too, and I'm gonna go look through them and see if I or athletes athletes stars doesn't work. Actually it depends. There's some female athletes that guys really like. Guys are very picky and choosy about which women they support. I'm grateful to be one of those women as as a whole. Um, I do appreciate it as the whole that I am. But man, there there are many men who loathe me, loath just fucking hate me. It's so upsetting. How much you get hated when you get famous, is is just it's Yeah, the as much as you get so much love, the more love you get, the more you're going to get hate too. People do not hate people that aren't like in the spotlight. You just don't care. You would not hate someone that had nobody following them and no one was talking about it just wouldn't happen. Think about you've been discuss anytime you start talking where I start start talking to comic, it's because they're getting heat. We would never talk about a person that just released one clip with five people watching and go, look at this sucks so much. We would only talk it if people were enjoying it. It's always started from jealousy. It never isn't anyone I've ever hated or been like, God, they suck. It's because they're popular and I'm jealous. But here's the thing. You know, you could say, because I saw the thing with John Stewart there, like you know, you don't get as much slack as you know this kind of comedian or this kind of person. He's like I could go on Twitter right now and say, I mean he's a little bit of like whatever, like example, yeah he's a little bit polarized, but like someone that you would think like, oh, everyone loves you. If you go on Twitter and search your name, everyone everyone get hate. But yeah, it's because the more people that know you, the percentage of people that hate you, and that contingency is going to go up and it's gonna go. But don't you believe that when we you and I bitch about someone, like sometimes you'll bring up the other day you brought up a community and you're like, they're fucking They're just saying things that have already been said. None of this is original, And I never really heard of this person, And I go, why are we talking about them? Did they just get us? And you're like, because they're blowing up online, It's like we wouldn't be talking about them if they just were a random person that released the clip that sucked, you know what I mean? And they were all original thoughts. You know that. I mean they you started playing it and you go, actually, that's good. That was good too. He's just a guy. All you see when you watch it, it's confidence. He's just a guy that's confident. It's all it is. People are so susceptible to it, including me. Guys. Be confident this weekend, go out there, get naked, get naked, do something terrible. Wake up Sunday, be very depressed Monday morning, get right back after. Thanks for listening to pod this week. We'll see you on Monday. Busties. Uh don't be cut and black. Have we not done that? One? I don't think so, and it got sent to me. Just lea shit