Between you and Nikki, she believes in aliens but not in the ghost that Andrew thinks shook a wire in the apartment. After hitting 550 balls, Andrew's got a lot of pent up energy. They reflect on the butterfly effect and gambling. You Heard It Here First; sex partner count is irrelevant, Sex in The City is irrelevant, and Nikki doesn't care for executives who tell celebrities not to fall in love on movie sets. Nikki's Reddit Dump has all sorts of threads which eventually remind her about something she learned from the book Attached.
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The nikast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am happy Tuesday. How's it going, guys? It's the winter solstice, right, isn't it means it's winter today it's like the shortest Yeah, happy winter. It's like the shortest day of the year or something like that. Sure doesn't feel like it. This morning, the moon was out. I don't understand the moon. Like sometimes the moon's like out during the day and it's just like, I just the moon is a shifty uh shifty. I can't. I don't. My brain is not working yet today. But he's just uh, he plays by his own rules, the moon. And do you know why the moon would be out during the day? Does that think it make sense to you? I think from uh what I've learned, the moon is always out. It's just that we don't see it because of clouds where the sun is too bright. But I think it's just out through the whole. Yeah, don't write into us and tell us what that does. I could easily google it if I care. So I just I have a feeling like if I knew that, I would be compelled to be like, let me let her know. Um, but I I'll look it up if I if I want to know. Um, But yeah, there's a man. There's some things that I don't know. Do you know how long it takes the Sun's rays to hit the earth? Apparently my my friend got a cognitive like test done to check his like if he's um stupid or not or whatever, and um, there's a picture that's askew and it was bothering me. Um. And one of the questions was like, what how long did it take the Sun's raise to hit Earth? And it's eight minutes and thirty seconds? Who, like, I could have it could have been anywhere from point zero one seconds to ten thousand years. You know what, I would not have said a dozen years because the speed of light is pretty fucking fast. And I know that if the sun explodes, like will die and it's not I've never heard the thing of like it could explode and we wouldn't know it yet that would happen if it exploded, it would take eight minutes and thirty seconds for us to see it. I guess I was just what I was just about to ask, what are we supposed to do with that information? Why is it useful? Um, it's just nice to know the speed of light. I guess it's just that's a good point. Why is it useful? I don't. I don't know, um because there's no like the speed of light is so fast that I guess. What is interesting though, is when you look at stars, you're looking at the past. That that to me is cool. And I mean also the sun you're looking at eight minutes ago, but I think the stars is like really really long time ago. Um Man. I was reading about like on Reddit, they had this thing called like what's this? It was an ask Creddit and it was like what's the scariest what's the most disturbing thing? You know, or like something the most unsettling thing. And there's this theory called the dark forest theory. Have you ever heard of it? Tell? Okay, So there's like so there's a huge chance that there is intelligent life somewhere in either our galaxy or other galaxies. There's just they've they've done all the equations and there's like some kind of model math equation that's like, let me just do it, like I remember it. They determined that there must be intelligent life out there. The odds that there wouldn't be are in like, there's just no chance there's not based on how many different places there are in the galaxy that would support intelligent life. So the dark force theory is that there's just no way if we are, it's like one in a billion chance or something like, it's some astronomical number that that those are the odds that were the only one here. So the the theory is is that these um these people are all hiding in the forest, all these intelligent lives. If if you're intelligent enough, you know that any other civilization that you find in the galaxy would destroy you immediately because it would be a threat to your you know, survival, so in our forests or like on other planets, other planets, but like out in space right like our galaxy and beyond. So if there are there, probably are intelligent civilizations and whatever that would look like out there, but they would be so intelligent that they would know that any time that they would find another life form out there, that that life form, based on what life is is you just want to survive at any cost, So knowing that they would immediately be in aged in a battle where they would die. So the idea is, if you know that there's something out there, you want to stay hidden. To go out and look for it is the dumbest thing you could do. So they are smarter than us, probably or based upon you know that the odds, there are intelligent life forms that are far more advanced than we are. We've only been around for like ten thousand years humanity or whatever it is, or if you or like you know, hundreds of thousands of years, but modern civilization, like and in the industrial age, has only been you know, a couple of hundred years. So what that means is that they're out there, and they're hiding because they don't want to engage, and as soon as we find them, they're going to be forced to destroy us immediately, and they will be able to because they are so much more advanced than us. So the idea that we are out looking for them is like the dumbest thing in the world to do, and we should absolutely stop. That's the dark Forest theory, and that any second we're going to find them, and as soon as we do, they're gonna be like, You're gone, like we're not going to put up with this. Because so it's it's pretty much that that that we're like the dumbest people to be, like where are you guys knowing that the sole mission of any civilization is to destroy anything that would threaten it equals they're more advanced. They would destroy us immediately without question, or enslave us or whatever that is. So we're done to go looking for them. I believe, I I believe to like I think it's very selfish to think that we're the only living civilizations. But I'm not looking for them. I'm not. I'm fine with never discovering an alien, right. Um, I never wanted to see one either. The other day, Andrew tells me that he walked into our apartment and we have all these wires that are lining the walls so that they could put lighting up for when those cameras were tracking my life, those cameras, And we don't know, we have yet to know, and that's a lie. I just want to be honest with you. I do know, but I can't tell you. But there's all these lights up in my house, and there's all these wires that are like hung with tape, you know, around the perimeters of the room so that it doesn't look crazy. But the wires are starting to fall because of just you know, the tapes wearing off. And this one wire is falling right in front of our door for the podcast studio. It's a very It's like this long wire is just dangling like an arc. And Andrew said he came in the other day from being on the road. He got back several days before I did, and he said he walked in and it was swaying like a lot. And I was like, dude, it's the air. Can it's the air? And He's like, dude, it was a lot. And I go, I've already seen it. Like when I see a wire swaying, I don't go ghosts. I go, what is the physical what's the scientific explanation for this? Because it ain't ghost. Ghosts cannot be because if they are, I will not sleep. I made a deal with myself at an early age that ghosts may not exist, because if they do, I would be in constant horror. I would never want to be alone. I would never want to be walked to my kitchen in the dark. I would never I would I wouldn't able to exist. Honestly, know what, My life as a child was sleepless. I had bags under my eyes constantly. I was I had insomnia as a child because I was scared of aliens abducting me, and ghosts were not even ghosts weren't even registering. I thought, you know, aliens are much more of a threat to me than ghosts. I had heard too many stories. I knew about the Men in Black before that movie even came out, Like I knew that meant the Men in Black show up if you've seen an alien. So I didn't want to see an alien because I knew the Men in Black would come and to open my door. So I was like I was so then I made a deal with myself at one point where I go, ghosts aren't real, Nikki, because if they are, if people that's the thing about um, Sarah Silverman, and you have a joke about people protesting at abortion clinics, and if you really thought that babies were being murdered, like if you're in your heart of hearts thought that abortion was murdering babies, you damn right they should be out there protesting, like if that's what they really felt. So when these little girls, you know, when parents have their kids hold signs, and these little girls are crying and like, you know, life begins at whatever, and they're holding these signs, those little girls like I have a lot of compassion for them because they don't know that from what they hear from their parents, babies are being murdered and then tossed into dumpsters. They should be upset. They should be screaming at the women walking in, don't do this please, if they really thought that was the case, you know, whereas adults are intelligent enough to under stand what that is and if but if they aren't, or if they somehow believe it really is murdering babies, they have a right to be that upset. And I was talking to someone about veganism recently, and I was saying that, you know, that's how like vegans feel. It's like that there's holocaust of animals happening constantly, billions of animals being needlessly murdered and suffering every their whole lives, every single day globally, and it's it's just so if why you think vegans are so annoying is the same reason that I just said for the kids crying about babies being murdered. Vegans truly feel that animals that are as intelligent, as sweet as your dog are being needlessly murdered every day for mass consumption where you just take a bite and you go, I don't like this and you throw it out, like not even like enjoying food, like thank you for this meal, turkey who gave its life. It's just like, oh, like dark meat and like throwing it away. It's like, that's that's why we're so upset. We truly feel like dogs are being murdered every day by the millions. So for you to so even if you don't, if you don't look at veganism that way, or you don't feel the same way I feel about that stuff, have some compassion for vegans who are really mitigating how upset we are at the scale of which we feel. Animals, just like Luigi are being murdered, which, by the way, I've always said is the best part of an animal's life. That is, in factory farming. The murder is not when someone eats meat in front of me, theyre always like, I'm so sorry, and I go, I'm so grateful that animal is dead, because it was before it died that it's life sucked. Death was the greatest gift that animal ever received in its life. So I'm glad it's dead. Um, so that like it was just an interesting thing to pose it about. You know. It was the fact that, yeah, like that's how I that's how I feel. And when I first became a vegan, it just caused me such depression because it was just constantly being confronted by it and like you just suddenly see the world in a different way and then you can't unsee it. And I had to just do what I honestly feel like Nazi Germany had to do. And I'm sorry to compare it to the Holocaust, but I'm going to, like, I know, people are animals are different, but I just feel like, you know, there were a lot of civilians who knew exactly what was going on, and they were probably fucking horrified by it, but they had nothing. There's nothing they could do as an individual at the time, I guess, And so you go, how could you let that happen? Well, I've you know, there are people that stand in front of these factory farm trucks and like risk their life to just give these animals a piece of compassion before they go into the slaughterhouse whatever it is, and um and keep trying to make the stop green peace. You know, the whaling boats, they risk their lives. I can't do that. I'm not willing to die for it. I don't know. I'm just there was a time where I just had to give up, and now I'm like, oh, we're a little vegan pin. That's like all I can do is like and and have one of these rants once every twenty episodes. But yeah, it's just do you ever care about something so much and no one else is on board or so few people are on board or most of your friends aren't that you just have to kind of go. I just gotta keep this to myself and find a way to survive in a world where no one else agrees with me or the bulk of people don't you Just you know what, Yes, I've I found myself in those situations, and I think what gets me through is just like I know what the truth is, and if they're suffering and all of that, I like, it's going to be inevitable that it's it's gonna come out, but everyone will reach that truth in their own time. Yeah, Okay, that's good. That's good. I feel like I that's how I've kind of made peace with it too, is that I was once that person too, you know, like I was once exactly, you know, but I just have to say that, you know, before you get there, and I don't. I don't. I really don't judge people who eat meat, like go at it at your own time. But you will get there eventually, if we live long enough, and the truth will come out and we will be horrified by what we did, much like smoking inside with children or you know, no seat belts with kids back in the day, or like all of the things that we look back and we go, how could we have done? Or you know, just the slaughter of Native Americans, the slaughter of the genocide of any people, and that the people that kind of sat back and go, well, it's not me. I can't really say anything, and I don't want to get in the way because I don't want any Like we look back and we go, how could that have happened? I think we'll do that for animals, but um, I don't know the will last long enough because we're looking for aliens and they're gonna destroy it right away. Which will be the best thing that ever happened to all those animals lives, is when the planet just explodes because of ways are being from a child alien who's just like mom, I found one and then the earth explodes. Like we just become a little game like a gnat, like of just stepping on a neat? Do you step on ants and you just go oh my, like you accidentally step on a bug, or like you purposely kill one, which I don't believe you should ever do, but like you just go. They were just walking along and then bam. Sometimes I read about like and this is all on these Reddit threads where it's like, what's the most horrifying thing you can think of? And a lot of them is like these you know, solar events that are like, oh, we get sucked into the black black hole or um they have all these names for it. But there's all these things that are bound to happen if we last long enough, like the sun, a son explosion, or like some there's some kind of sun thing that will suck us in immediately. And people that's so horrifying. I go, that's gonna be the greatest thing ever. I hope I don't want to. I don't want it to be like this thing where we lose all our oxen and we're like and there's like ash and volcanic dust and we all suffocated death. I'd like it to just be bam, Like I'm just like brushing my teeth and blink of an eye done. That would be a better death than literally any other way to die. We wouldn't even see it coming, like whenever someone like there's this one that I read about a lot where a bridge fell on a girl, Like this bridge just collapses when these people are in traffic and the girl is she's in the passenger's seat, gets splattered, like she just gets flattened like a piece of paper. Like they can't find literally any of her remains except her cell phone, which was like next to her. There's no piece of her that her parents can keep, not a necklace, not a shred of clothing. Nothing. The guy in the in the next to her in the car, her friend completely scratched less, nothing happened to him, is just like just her and um. And I think that wouldn't be the word that's so tragic, wouldn't be the worst way to go, because there's no oh my God. That's my biggest fear of dying is the oh my God right before it of Like I had this vision last night that I'm going to be crushed to death by something that's falling and I can see it falling, and I go no, no, no, no no, because that's what happened to me when I got hit by a cab. Right before I got hit by a cab, I go no no, no, no, no, no no. And I remember as I said, no, no, no, no no no, these are your last words, bitch. The this is it now, knew. I don't want to say anything. I want to be like, you know, singing a Taylor Swift song, and then it just cuts me off right before the bridge, which is the best part of a Taylor Swift, any Taylor Swift song, you know that, um, right before the bridge falls on me. That would be the best bridge to fall on you, the bridge of all two well ten minute version baby Um. Speaking of Taylor Swift, I have been doing daily open mics over on the Nikki Glazer Pod Instagram account. I cannot stop. I have time off right now, and that is what I do with my time off. Thank you so much to everyone who has joined in and watched over there. I just put a video up on my Instagram of me singing to Luigi yesterday, and so I think we're gonna get a lot more Nicki Glazer Pod subscribers that aren't really fans of the podcast. I'm a little bit nervous about that, but I said, you know, I'm doing these daily, you know, open mics, so I'm guessing it's going to be people that are curious to see that. So that's a good person. If they're curious to see me singing to my dog, where we'll let them in even if they're and then maybe they'll become fans of the podcast through that. I don't know, but I am trying to keep a pure over at the pure sounds like that, sounds like we're we We're back to where we started. I'm trying to keep the Nicky Glazer Pod family, like actual listeners and and besties. But I might get some There might be some more in there today after my post, but so be it. Go watch that, by the way, if you missed it yesterday of me singing to Luigi. It is so fucking cute. I can't stand it. Let's get Andrew in here. Andrew, Hey, Andrew, no glasses today? I left him in the car. Oh shit, Um, I was just talking about I've been going live on Instagram every single day on the Nicki Glazer Pod to do Taylor such open mics and um, honestly, I've done it four days in a row. I think I know when you're gonna do it. Are you gonna be gone gone for a while? I know? Well, yesterday I asked him I had to go to therapy, and I was like, as I was running out, I didn't have time to give Luigi his second w A LK of the day. He's right here, so I don't want to say it, um and l he responds to the even spelling now and even on m l K junior day he goes because it sounds like it. Um so. But yesterday, let me can I just guess this is how much I overthink things. And I think I know you so yesterday I think it timed out perfectly that you. I asked Andrew as I was leaving, hey, can you walk Luigi if you have time? But he had to go get his booster shot on the way back from therapy. I go, I don't care if you didn't weren't able to. I just want to know if he's had a second w A Okay, So I go, did you walk him? It's okay if you didn't just need to know. And he was like, and he said I wasn't able. Oh yeah, that wasn't able to getting the booster shot, and I go cool. Then I get home and then I go, hey, um, when are you going to be home? And I think you maybe read that as like, are you gonna be able to walk Luigi? Didn't you knew I was gonna play guitar? Well, I had a thought. I guess maybe I had a thought that, oh, maybe you can't get home because you were going somewhere after therapy. But I didn't write a couple of hours to get out of walking him. It was just I was going to the range. No, I know you and I didn't think that either, But I thought, oh, I think I just bought my self a little bit more time than because if Andrew, let's say Andrew had to come home to get his sunglasses, he might not have because then he would have had to walk Luigi as opposed to if he just went. So I was like, oh, I didn't mean to, but I was just checking if he'd be there when because I wanted to play guitar really loudly. And I was like, oh, I think he now thinks I wanted him to walk, So maybe I'm just maybe I'm sending him away a little bit with this. Well, you know, I don't know what I'm gonna do when you don't live here. I'm going to play guitar a hundred percent of the time all that. Like, I'm gonna get so good. It's just too embarrassing practice constantly in front of you. I told you two hours I got to the rate. I think he got back six hours later. I think I hit fifty golf balls yesterday. I have so much energy now from I don't want to like talk about zolof because it really didn't help me a ship tony. It might deplete my energy a little bit. Also, we're not traveling every fucking weekend for the last thirty week guns. Yeah, you've had some time to be home and like, yeah, it's like night and day and there's no looming travel coming up other than Yeah, which is the hardest show of the year. You're doing a lot more than ten minutes. You'll be dancing the whole time. I know, I don't get to sleep with a meal either, but you know I ended up. Yeah, I was just I'm just so like, I have this energy and I just mean, and I'm just like, I don't know, like I feel like there's freedom here and like that's why I just like hit balls for literally six hours and then that doing that a lot back. You were putting in balls days in a row, back in the day. I think that it's just life got in the way. Cold weather got in the way. This cold weather is interesting, but gonna move back, like you're you're you don't have as much free time now and yesterday she's at work all day. You Yeah, I mean, it could be the zolaf, but I'm thinking there's a lot of other things. So there's a ton of and you were doing this a lot before. True, true, whoa, But I gotta tell you, I, uh are you coming again? You can just feel your penis again. I can feel my penis again. It's like I'm born again. Uh virgin who could feel as dick? Wait, I'm sorry, I missed it. So you're you're getting off? He got on? Well Beautron? Yeah, and well Beturn apparently is better with the orgasms and sexual drive. Why wouldn't everyone give you well Betron first? Then? Because I think they got to deal with the zoloft people. I just think some people can still come. I think I wasn't that great of a comer to begin with, so maybe there's people that come within two seconds. My friends are in a new relationship. He's four years old, she's um, wait four years he's forty. You said four years old. I said forty, But it might have come out like forty but he's forty years old. Or maybe I did say he's forty three. Maybe I did. It could happen, um, and they were there, they just met. My friend and Chris and I were in l a UM about a month ago at this point, and Chris has two friends that they met that he knows separately from once from like a work situation, a girl, and then the other is like friends with his through his brother. I know the man in this scenario known him for a while. The girl Chris had become really good friends with since Chris and I had broken up. But now Chris and I are hanging out again. I was like dying to meet her because they're so close and she just seems awesome. So I was in l a with Chris and I was like, I'd really like to have a dinner with Nick this this girl, And because I I just need a new l a friend, and she just sounds if he's so close to her, like I'm it's gonna work out for me. And um, he's like, you know what, I love to bang out to like friends in one dinner, Like I'll invite Ryan and Nick. So we go to this dinner. We have a great time just hanging out. They meet each other, but like we're just talking about all different things. She's seeing a guy at the time, he's like just getting out of a thing. There is literally no spark between them. There's nothing. There is nothing that's important. It's it's it's a square table, it's Ryan, it's Nick. But they're next to each other. Yeah, but it's like I'm next to Nick and I'm next to Like it's it's not there on one side of the table and it's four it's a square and there, Yes, they're not across from each other there next but literally, if you would have asked, no spark. And I even asked them later on, like was there anything there that night, and they were like no, Like we were just having a good time talking openly about sex and dating. But she was in seeing someone and that she was very into and he was just getting out of something with someone who is far too young for him, you know, like you and but still no Brenna's I know I miss her baby too. She texted me last night she was so nice. Um so uh then after this was a week so then within so right after that, we took a picture at the end of the dinner, just to be like, that was such a fun dinner, like, let's take a picture. Ryan tags us all in the photo and he gets her Instagram. They apparently just start d m N after that, just friendly, like it was so funny, meaning you like, he has no intention she she was, you know, just light dems. And then all of a sudden something happens and Nick is a really good right, They're like really good and Ryan is just an emotionally secure, like just confident person apparently as a huge dick that got revealed at dinner too. That couldn't have hurt um. And he's a short guy though, huge dick, short guy. But it gets and he's on He's on the radio at l A. He's a part of the Ellen or the um what the number one radio morning radio show in l A Ellen Ellen and Ryan. But it's Ellen's show. From she used to be with another guy in the radio. I don't know, I should know these things. So they leave, they start deeming and there they fell in love. Within four days, They're like they see they see each other. I think right away, like the next day, maybe two days later, she cuts it off with the guy she's seeing. They start dating. They are official within less than a week. He's on the radio every morning. He brings on the radio to declare that their official. I go to dinner with them just this past week because I was in l A. And we go to the same place where they met. We have they haven't been back. It was four weeks to the day where they met. And I'm sitting next to two people that are like a couple. Like they're the most comfortable couple. There's no like new couple energy of like this, like we're so in love, Like where you go. This is not sustainable. It's just they just fell in love instantly and they're done. They're getting married. They're like they're done. They just know. Wait, what does she do in l A? She is a writer, director, She just she is one of the most incredible people. She's very like independent, and she's forty three I think or what. So they both have like fulfilled somewhat in their passion of what they wanted to do. Ryan goes to bed at eight pm because he has to be up for radio at like three in the morning, and timing sounds perfect for them. It's it's all about timing. It's all about luck and timing. And we were thinking about it and we're like, oh my god. If Chris wouldn't have gotten exposed to COVID in St. Louis, he would have come out earlier to l A. But because he got exposed, he came out later and we stayed an extra day, which led to this dinner. If he would have gotten exposed to COVID, they wouldn't have met. Like it's all of these like things that happened, like but truly anything, I mean, Noah with you and um and an AUV, Like, do you ever think about those that one thing that could have been different that would have led for you to not be living in Arizona right now with your fiance and you know, oh my gosh, especially since we met for the first time in eleven but didn't start dating until I'm glad. Yeah, like through like the metal scene and stuff, So he was like in my peripheral but we didn't start dating because of Instagram until was there a no in two thousand eleven where you like, man, that's a hot guy, Like, was there a well, I thought he was really hot, but I was like, oh, he's like the frontman of a band. I'm not going for this again, And I was. I was in a relationship anyway with another guy in a band. Right, I'm not going for this again. And right at the same time that I'm doing, I already know that it's a bad decision that I'm actively in, so I'm not going to go for it while I'm going through this position. And I mean the same thing with you and Brennan, Like if you would never have ye if I didn't move here, well, yeah, if you didn't move here, if you wouldn't have been on the podcast where she heard something on that podcast that made her go, this guy is worth following, Or if you had met Ashley and rain now you wouldn't have been on that podcast, you might have not have heard of you, And like there's all these things that like I remember one time I was in um New Orleans and I was going to go put like three dollars on black, like I was just gonna go fucking let's just do it. And I remember I stopped to tie my shoe or to fix my boot, and I was with my ex boyfriend and he was like, because you're doing this, that outcomes going to be different than if you didn't stop. Show. Yeah, it's so interesting. Um yes, yes I did. I I remember, Yeah, we I doubled it. Then I quit. I'm really good at like, I'm good. That's you. You quit after just winning once? Oh yeah, I win once I'm done. I'm good. Oh yeah, and it feels terrible. That's why I don't do it. When did you lose? And how much? Like because I think the most is a couple of hundred bucks, Like I wouldn't. I've always set a limit where this is the amount I'm willing to lose. And once this is over, I paid for the fun of gambling that away, all the fun. Yeah, I mean I was in college. I was. I just if something feels bad enough, right, if the if the pain is worse than the game, I like, that's insane, it's insane in the membrane, It's that's what drinking eventually became It's like the fun of getting drunk was always fun. Let's clock that at about it. It was. It was a ten at times, and then it became about a six around the time that my hangovers became tens in terms of pain. As soon as the hangover outweighed the good bye. It's the problem. Was the first time I ever gambled and played blackjack, I won two thousand dollars off like forty. I went out, I bought a PlayStation, bought a TV, bought a couch, like bought like like literally a week later, I pawned it all back and I still didn't learn my lesson. It was like a year later that I learned my lesson. But like, yeah, it's dangerous. It's win winning the first time is the worst possible thing that could happen in gambling. I think unless you've got this mental fortitude where you're just like stand up, you do it one time. Most people that do stand up, as you know, their first time on stage, they killed. And people that have done stand up and give up usually did it one time and they had they bombed and it was such a bad It's bombing is the worst feeling in the world. And killing is the best feeling. And if you start with killing the first time you're on stage, invite a bunch of friends and everything. People do that your first time because you're gonna suck. You are going to bomb eventually. But if you have that win, you'll always remember the feeling and you'll be chasing the dragon. It's like Heroin, You're always chasing that first high. But I guess I got so far because we did that one show and they gave me six D dollars and chips and I just cashed it. I didn't even play one hand. And I was like, that's growth or I'm lazy and I'm tired, But I think it's growth growth, right, Like to not for sure you black jack, like I missed, you could like play with the chips and play with them. Then I don't act like that's the fun of that's what people do. With drinking. I just like the taste. I miss having a beer after work. It's like, then have a non alcoholic beer after work if you love the taste so much. It's you don't feel like we like we're too serious about like do we miss things because of that? Like not just drinking, but just like I'm not gambling. I'm good now, but part of me misses the debauchery and the and the vices and stuff like that where it's like, okay, I stopped taking yourself so fucking seriously too. Yeah. I feel like now though, I'm getting high off of things that like feelings and vulnerability and um intimacy and like things I was scared to do, like playing guitar for people or like that that to me was always like, oh my god, that's like doing hair. That's so scary. I don't want to do that because it's being embarrassed is scarier to me than doing drugs. Like being doing something that I think is like good and it's not is more of a risk than dancing naked on a bar, because I you know what I mean, like whatever kind of now, I just think there's different things, And I always just think you had your fun, NICKI like it's done, like you. If you didn't get it done, then then it wasn't worth doing. Part of me thinks I guess if I didn't get the high of stand up and like that feeling of putting myself out there, that I probably would still be or not. I think you would find it elsewhere, hopefully I would be fulfilled in whatever I did. Oh if I was aren't doing guitar, or I wasn't masturbating, or I wasn't you know, you gotta have something I'm not. That was my thing. I'd go to a bar by myself, sit at the bar and meet people and just sit on the corner and who knows where my night's gonna go. Like there was that feeling of like, you know, get it somewhere else, neither get it with sex or like, you know, you just that's why people go from being junkies to sex addicts. It's like, well, that's the lesser thing. That's not going to kill you as fast, you know, or it's not going to be as painful in the short term as that other thing was. But we're always just like replacing things food, sex, we'd um we'd just became for me, like it became it wasn't giving me. The returns were not as great as the negatives, Like it just was the number one thing for me is my brain and like being able to get work done and be smart and funny, and it was just making me on funny. I just the second I found that it was struggling to think of a line, and I was like, oh, it's because I'm high, Like I know it, is that done? Done? Do you think is there any resentment like towards like me living with you where like maybe I could have said something before like yeah, no, it's it's no one because I know you've you've had that in the past, like with your anorexia stuff like where people anything. Yeah, yeah, I just feel like but all the time. People write to me all the time and say, my sister is antorectic and I don't know what to do? Can you give me any advice? And I say, honestly, there's nothing you can do right now. You know what you can say. You can say, hey, when you're ready to, if you want to talk about this, I will talk about it with you and give and have no judgment, no shame. I don't say what it is if you want to talk about Yeah, like I noticed that you're doing something with food and your body and I don't care. I don't judge it at all. There you know a Lance Moore set shared in her documentary, and I thought this was such a beautiful example of someone being supportive about an eating disorder because people don't understand eating disorders. If you don't have one, you don't get it. And it seems fucking weird. And her friend walked in on her sticking your finger down her throat, which is a very insane thing to see if you don't understand what that is. Even when I was antorextic, I did not understand. Believe me, I thought it was like gross and weird. Turns out I ended up doing it a lot myself. But her friend just hugged her and said and just rubbed her back as she was over the toilet and said, if you want to, I'm always here for you. And I'm I'm like, what's going on? And but she said the key was there's no judgment, because I think when I was antorectic and people were just like, what are you doing? Will you just eat? Something like this is weird? Like it was always met with like your choosing this and you're weird. Like just talk to people that have anorexia and bolimia or like addictions, like they have cancer. You wouldn't yell at someone for having sir, You just wouldn't or so just always and and I the best advice I give is just tell them when you want to talk to someone about this, I'm here and I will never judge you, no matter how bad it is. You can totally be honest with me. That's important because when you're able to get honest about what you're doing, that's when you're able to change. You know, in twelve step. The first step is just admitting you have a problem. And when you are confronted by people who are like, I'm worried about you, all you do is denyed, denied, deny you, and then you start lying to yourself. But if you're met with someone that goes, I see what's happening. No judgment. But when you're ready to talk to someone, I love you and I will not judge you, and I know I don't understand it, but I'll try to. And I love you and I know you're not trying to do this and this isn't this Like I'm here for you, and then you then DM me when they when they come to you with that, and then I'll tell you, tell you what to do. But until they want to get healthy, they're not gonna They're just going down on a ton of people in a theater like is that? Um? Do they speak eloquently? Am I eloquent? Would they have her baby? His baby? Um? What that line changed her life? That one of the other day he was like you, I remember you and Lauren when you were eleven twelve. We're talking and will you go down on And it's unbelievable you're in the singing. It's just like what ters just say, But we don't know what that means? Yeah, down on you in a theater is so is a perfect way to write that lyric because kids will not know what that means. Sing that all day. Kids they don't know. Oh you think that's what That's why you get from it that kids don't know what they're what she was saying, no idea what that meant? Down on you in the theater means nothing. I can see your dad like pulling out of the movies parking lot like, no, we're not seeing hidding whatever. I don't know somebody about Mary. We don't give kids enough credit to know that they know that it's something they don't understand, and they are okay with that. There's a million things a day that kids can encounter and they go, I don't know what that is because I'm a kid. Yeah, It's like when I was singing Nirvana as even though I was singing it probably incorrectly what Vanna is talking about neither. I don't think you're supposed to It's seriously, most of their lyrics make no fucking sense, even as an adult. But we kids do not know. Unless it's a visual like pornographic graphic video. Kids do not know, and they don't care. They just go, that's an adult thing. I don't even want to know about that. They're not like I want to do that. So stop policing your Children's just the things they see and the things they read. Let them experience the world and give them the autonomy to go, that's an adult thing. And I'm gonna wait till I get to the age where I can do that. So you're kind of, in a way giving them the benefit of doubt. They they're they're smart enough to understand wow. Also knowing that they're smart enough to know they're dumb, and that they're dumb because they're young. I did I remember being a kid and being like parent. People seem to like this thing called coffee. It looks disgusting to me. It smells gross. I guess I'll figure it out. When I'm an adult. They used to write checks. I'd see my mom write in cursive and I'd go, I didn't go, why can't I write cursive? I'd go, that's a thing I'm going to learn someday. I don't know it yet. It's like when I would listen to Two Live Crew and there was a line I still remember. I was like, it was my first tape I ever got. I was like, nine, Two Live Crew is the dirtiest rap music, and they're nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese. Well that's once you know what a dick is. No, no, no, no. But I'm saying like I didn't really like know what blow jobs were at that time. I found it hilarious, just a visual of someone. It wasn't like a sexual thing. It wasn't, but it was hilarious. Let's get to the news. You heard her first. Just let it wait for a while. I mean, I wasn't seeing how long I could do it without you. I mean you were the first one to talk. By the way, True, it's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means. It is Tuesday. All the swells for everybody out there except for um lance. Actually we can't say jacket in a study that asked about the willingness to do like you were saying, a girl named Anna study and a study in a study Okay, when I got in, Colin U. In the study that asked about the willingness to date someone based on their number of previous sexual partners, let me guess men were less likely to date women if the number was women aund which I don't agree with, but that's what the study says. But it was a small study of just one guy. I think, what did he pull people at his Thanksgiving dinner? What? What? Okay? So it's in a small study and a small study and a study okay that an ideal is two to three partners was ideal and a preference for some experience over no experience. I mean this. I read the article. It went from like ten to like sixty, which I thought was no, Well what about you? I mean, we know Andrew's answers preferably zero, but with the experience of someone who's been with fifty so that's most men. Know. What what is your ideal number of partners for a man that you're with in a perfect world? Oh? Ideal? I used to care about it. I used to like not want to know anything, but now I understand that everyone has history, including me, so I don't I don't care. Like even if it's like hundreds, I wouldn't care. Agreed, I wouldn't have anything. I would be more turned on if it was hundreds, because I feel like, Wow, this guy got it out of the system, like he's he's and I get out of hundreds he's decided to stay with me, and that before and that blows my mind. That's sentence. What no the idea that like I won when I just think they're just at a point where they're ready to settle down. It's like if I could have been number three, three and they wouldn't have stopped. You just convince yourself of that a little bit, and you they have a lot of experience, so they must know what's good. I mean, you're not. You might be at a point in your life where you're ready to settle down, but you're not going to particularly settle down with someone that isn't good at the thing that you have a lot of experience with. So I'm probably can guess that I'm in the top if he's gonna settle down with me, regardless of if he's tired or not. Yes, so Andrew's answer though he said, it's not zero, it really is zero zero, Shut up, it's not it's one. No, it's Honestly, I would say, depending on the age of the woman, I would say five to ten is a solid number that I would think. You want them, you don't. I don't want a zero. It doesn't make sense say I don't want them to what Finnish sessence, I don't want them. I don't want them to be a zero where they haven't experienced sex at all. And then I'm the first person. It's a lot of pressures. Yeah, not about their pleasure, it's just because that too. Yeah, I want them to at least come once before we UM. I agree. I also, you know, the realistic either after me yes or darn daring daring and there I say for me, it's like, honestly, I don't I don't care. I don't care. I would like it to be up twenty or more. Look, I used to have a lot of guy that likes sex and that UM has had a lot of it, to have a lot of experience and like know how to fund good I think though I think the fear for me, at least earlier on is like the girl had sex with like two guys, like in high school, It's like whoa to fucking like it was like the numbers seemed bigger. Also STDs like I had a fear of those, probably arational, irrational fear of it. I don't think I'm alone there. I think a lot of people. So if you hear like he's fomen like, but I think if he's still alive, then he's probably okay, and it's like all been treated or he has herpies and I can avoid it. Yes, no more, No, I think you look at you look I don't have herpes yet, double down, bringing a new strain. They need friends, give him a roommate. Can your herpes meet my herpies? Oh my god? The dating now called? Um I think her herpeses h date. I think it's called or something. Yeah, I mean I think that's smart. Why not? Um No? But yeah, No, I think you look at it. You look at it way more, maybe irrationally. The other way. I want to say, if you have an had sex with twenty people and you're a man listening being like I couldn't get nickick Glaser because I haven't. That's not like a deal breaker. I'm just saying. And I don't think that you don't funk good. If you've only had two partners or one or zero partners, you could be a virgin and get married and then funk that person perfectly. I think that, honestly, a lot of times sex creates bad habits that leads you further away from being able to please a partner that you're trying because you think all women are like the person you were with before, and then you do the same things, and it's hard to break those habits than build them. So I think that either way can be fine. Yeah, and I I swear like I really am, Like I wouldn't like if you told me you're not. I don't want to hear about it in detail, Like you know, number fifteen had a more veins on his dick than seventeen. I don't want the details. But the number I don't think would really bother him unless it was like six dollars. I can't believe my number because I've only had sex with one person in the past eight years. Oh, I thought you're making a joke. No, Oh, No, I've only sex with one person in the last eight years. Yeah, my number is sixteen. You did it. I mean you probably did fifteen in the matter of like three months. So by the time I was twenty nine was when I stopped having sex with anyone new and I got all my numbers, and I mean I got fifteen in by nine. That's crazy. That's the other thing to the older you get. You're a guy in your single Let's say you have sex twice in a month. You know, that's twenty four women times ten. Like I'm friends with guys and I go since we've been friends in the years, I can count, I mean, I lose count. There are so many, So don't pretend like your number isn't in the double digits upper double digits. There's just no way we've been friends for a year. You're in your late thirties. There's no way you've been a comic for this long on the road and I've witnessed this much. You've done a lot before then. It's just there's statistically, there's no and they always played dumb like I don't know, probably like around forty. I'm like, I can it was forty in the last month. Dude, don't fucking lie. Just I know you're in denial of it because it makes you feel like you might have diseases or whatever it is or like, but people just really underestimate their number. I think men do because men don't add it up. Men don't. You can't even remember the names of you couldn't if if you had a gun to your head, remember and I do. I think they're all named Jennifer. If you had a gun to your head, what would you guess as the number right now? Within five seconds? Five four? Okay? Maybe? Yeah, it's weird like to say that number though, because I like, in the last you know, a couple of years, COVID obviously changed some things, but like it was all within a window, like all these like little window like I binge and then it's like, I'm gone. You didn't have sex for a while, you weren't having I mean, you watch your fertinity what and then you didn't have sex for like maybe five women in college my twenties, I just drinking. It's a it's a blur. So it's like, I don't you know, I look at it as a chunk of time as opposed to go every Yeah, I look at Chunky's, I call him. But if you go through like you know, you have that time and you start going to specifics of each story of each like not a mistake, but like it's I can count, I've I've made list when I'm poured on planes of every guy I've kissed or every guy like hooked up with, like I I have listened. It's so funny because I know my number is sixteen or seventeen, Like I kind of forget which one it is. There's always sometimes I get to it and I'm making a listen, I'm like, how am I missing three guys? Like where the funk are those? Because I know that I've done the math at one point and it was definitely sixteen or seventeen. Where are these three guys? Who were they? I don't remember. It's so wild to not remember then that have a blurred have a blurry face in real life, like I'll never yet. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you could really wrap your brains like I can't. Oh my god, I did that, Like I have those moments sometimes sex is insane. You were inside someone your penis and you were going on them and you can't remember that, Like what the funk? Is like, I really do think we disassociate during sex because it's too weird to remember how gross we look. Let's get to the next story. UM. Sex in the City writer Candace Bushnell, sixty years old, admits she regrets choosing a career over having children as she is now truly alone when I was in my thirties and forty Ever, Shoes Lover, I hate Sex in the City so much. It's so disgusting. It was bad high lover and sarahsko Parker is suddenly this like like, oh, I'm too embarrassed to talk about my sex life, and and they have to say their age every second and they have to It is so obnoxious. It's the kiss thing. One of my best friends UM who listened to the show, Laura Cotler, she told me that, like the end of episode get through that I've only watched the first episode, get through the end of episode three because the kiss thing ever happens, and it's it should be we should do a whole collection of kiss about the series Seismicity. How many kids there are? It's the whole show is kissed. The podcast thing, like the host like not thinking she is sexual enough and she's like it's just painful. And then the Peloton scene. I'm just Charlotte is such a little like Charlotte's always so uptight, thin, she would never Whenever I watched the old Sex in the City, I hated Charlotte and Samantha as friends, Like there's no way they would ever be friends. And then Charlotte at the piano recital like scolds Miranda for bringing wine, like and the Miranda like need wine was everything was even Miranda going back to that class and like talking and trying to be like woke. It's just it's it's it's Closa. It was the Peloton scene with Brandon because I am She's like, you're not going on pet Like, can you believe Peloton gave gave the rights to that scene because I dont I would never want to get on a Peloton bike if I was a man, and never he why would they ever sign off on that they thought that was going to be good for them? And then add insult to into commerce is a sex predator? Did you hear the stories that came out about Christmas whatever his name is, Who gives a fuck, dude? They are very he's a rapist allegedly, but read the stories you guys. If you don't know, read the girls testimonials of what happened to them both in two thousand to two thousand five and two thousand fifteen. That if he did two very similar things decade apart, he did a lot more in between, a lot more. He's a bad guy. Well, this woman says, oh, and by the yeah, it was interesting though, like it was like emotional, like Brennan started crying because she was thinking about me. And then I like literally the next day got salmon. I was like, well, I meanings salmon is Sam Gonna. I don't know, dude, nothing makes sense, Okay. When I was in my this woman because it's healthy, healthy, I just like, then you choke on a bone and just like just the smallest bone ever. You just why was he sitting there? Just kind of like I guess you get days after you have a heart attack and you just live, but you just like kind of slump in the corner, like you're waiting at the airport and there's no seats and you're at your gate, Like why was he just sitting there? And everyone's like because his phone fell in the shower so it wasn't working. I guess right, Yeah, those things are he definitely has at least a twelve and those things are water purfos. Fuck, they don't give me that, alright, uh sirie, Okay, but this woman, let's hear. I just want to read this. Yeah, because when I was in my thirties and forties, I didn't think about it. Then when I got divorced and I was in my fifties, I started to see the impact of not having children and of truly being alone. I do see that people with children have an anchor in a way that people who have no kids don't. Okay, I want to hear about that feeling, because I just don't. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be a mother, and that's um I'm gonna And if I get to the point where i'm Canvas's age, I'm sixty, I would foster a teenager that needs like I would just find some way to get kids in my life. I would go volunteer with I was thinking that she could adopt, But I mean, do they give she's a billionaire so or million multi million something like that. She's yeah, she doesn't, Yeah she could probably so then but then you adopt your sixty, what age do you adopt se That's what I'm saying, foster like or like, just go go be around young people if you need that in your life. And I understand that's not the same as having your own kids, but who's to say your kids wouldn't have been drug addicts that fucking hate your guts, Like if you're that rich, yeah, it's yeah, and I mean, you know, and you don't want to talk dirty on the podcast, but I would love to if she wrote a book about that feeling and about like the regret. I would love to read that and hear more about that, because it just doesn't sound like, okay, they seem more grounded. What do you mean by that? I just God, that's scene where Carrie looks at those heels and goes high love her. I wanted to barf I and Kirsten wrote to me and said, I hate the normalization or the um of wearing stilettos. Stilettos are so bad for women's feet and this this is making it seem like acceptable and that's the way. No, girls do not. Do you remember the first pair of high heels you ever put on? And do you remember the first commercial or movie or thing going, I need to stand up like a fucking like a deer on my toes, like no, no, you don't remember it, but I mean it was always there. It's always there. I know. It's interesting that never leaves you. I mean, I will say that Sex in the City she's like a very cool writer, like stand like body chick who stands up for herself and is doesn't wear a ship ton of makeup and just dresses funky and fun. And she's wearing stilettos everywhere. Like she didn't make stilettos look like this dainty I'm going to be a wife and just be a good woman type thing. She made it look like a like a rebellious kind of statement of like I like these things that I'm going to wear them. But it's like footbinding. It is literal footbinding, modern day footbinding women. I feel like for women, you know, it's like the idea of like womanhood and it's like now you get to put on like your heels and make and makeup too. You know, it's just like now you're old enough, Like there's this like window. It's like a mitzvah for Christian women is makeup wasn't it creepy when Atlantis Moore said in the documentary said when she reached when she was like when she got into she was a pop star, we gotta go to break. When she was a pop star, before the age of fifteen, men would she looked, you know, hot, like she looked older, she looks mature. But men would not hit on her until she turned fifteen. And then something happened. When she was fourteen, they'd kind of go, oh, you're fourteen, kick can't do that. When she turned fifteen, the fucking floodgates open. I think it's just the age where men go that's a sexual woman, or like they just there's something about fourteen that still seems like a girl, and fifteen just seems like I know it's not technically legal, but like she wants it. It's disgusting. Let's get let's go take a break, and then we'll be back with why do I Care? Why do I care? Why do I care? Spiderman producer warned Tom Holland and Zadiah that they should not date, and uh yes, he still did. He. She also warned Toby maguire and Kristen Dud's not today. She also warned Um, Andrew Garfield and Amastone not to date, and they all did. Listen, this is gonna happen if you're dating someone and they are involved in a movie that is a huge blockbuster where you have to do all this press together and like honestly fall in love on camera, like if my husband were an actor. But bye, you're not. You're gonna fall in love with every if you go and dancing with the stars, I'll see I'll see you when you get kicked off and you realize this is all fantasy. You're gonna fall in love with that person. It's gonna happen. The Brad and Angelina effect. It's you sit on someone next next to someone on a plane just and and talk to them the whole time, and you tell me that you're not more attracted to that man, that you were not attracted to do it first after that plane, right. It is the proximity. It is being forced to talk with where you're That's why I asked about the Nick and Ryan thing of where they were sitting, because I was wondering how you I could force I could get two people to fall in love. I really could. I'd say, talk to each other with your faces this close together on a plane, forced forced closeness. It breeds intimacy, and it doesn't matter if you have a partner at home, it doesn't matter. So don't you think the movie makes more money the fact that they are dating? And of course I want to go see it because it's hot and I know that they're like hot for each other. The story I went on YouTube. I just typed in Tom Holland and just watch them and oh my god, I'm getting literally my vagina just tingled because of what I watched on The Morning Show yesterday? Have you finished The Morning Show Season two? Oh? I can't, Like I'm eating shivers. You guys know that I love romantic scenes. By the way, people have been sending me so many roman antic scenes where the guy like confesses his love or like there's that like watershed moment of like I love you and I've loved you for a while. Dude, someone sent me one between two girls on this like Emily Dickinson movie that was hot as fun. I've never gotten into lesbian like romantic uh moment stuff, So any of these scenes I can't believe no one mentioned or suggested maybe I didn't see it the Morning Show? Who do you think spoiler land to turn it off if you're if you're if you haven't finished Morning Show right now, like skip ahead thirty seconds and no, dude, it's fucking crut up and Witherspoon. He shows up better door to help her find her brother because her brother's same there it's it's shady, but then that he's just like, I need to tell you something. They're like on the streets and like looking for her brother and he's just like I love you, and it's just like, oh god, he is so hot. I can't take it for the broth. Yeah, because he was like it was funny because all of a sudden she gets a call and they're like, we found your brother and she's like, I can't deal with it. Was that banging and showed them banging. No, No, it's just I don't need to see banging. I need to see the moment where the guy just is like his defenses go down and he's like, I'm in love with you. Like that moment that breaks the tension, now, can you It is interesting when it's seen just out of context, can like get you there where you can kind of put it all together, but the fact that you've watched the whole show probably adds obviously. Oh yeah, you need that because you need all of the sexual tension building up to it. It's the breaking of the thing that you go, is it there? I'm sensing that it's there, but am I wrong about this? And then it all Okay, let's get for the reddit dump. This is your reddit dump? All right? Does the reddit dump? Um? Okay? I thought you might like this. This is on a reddit TikTok cringe, which often has tiktoks that are interesting. Sometimes they're cringe e. I don't know which. This one was kind of both. It was a girl talking about um posing with your boyfriend. It's it's now the season where you're posing with your boyfriend and she's like, she writes, writes how to pose with a short king. So she's dating a guy who's shorter than now it's well, yeah, but I'm saying he kind of looks like Tom holland he's so cute. She's so hot. She looks like, um, she looks like Galagha dott Um And this is her talking about that, right, So it's kind of funny because she's throwing him under the She's like kind of dismissing him the whole time as the joke, even though people are probably be like, what a fucking dumb twatch. She doesn't let him talk, But that's the joke, is that he's short, and so she's kind of like, just just be here, honey, And he's totally in on the joke. It's easy for him to get under the bus. Mm hmm. I'm a talk queen and I'm married to a short king, right, Josh right. So it is holiday season, and we know that means pictures. We all want pictures with our significant other, even if they are a little bit shorter than you. I want to look cute and I want to wear heels too, So I want to show you how to pose with your short king or your short queen, very short human. Okay, So what she does is so she's about I would say, almost a foot taller than him. What she does, it's it's I've never done this because I had a Oh did Luigi just baby? He looked like one of your short He looked like the short king. Next year, the short king. Yeah, Luigi is the short king marrying the shorter queen. He's such as sweetie lately. I, um, he just wants love lately. So I'll talk like this when I do it, because he just likes when I talk like this. So what she does is she puts her she puts the her front leg in front. She puts one leg in front of her back leg, and on her back leg, she bends it so that you don't see her leg bending in the back. Let me, let me stand up and do this for you guys, just show you. Okay, she won't look like a pirate though, Like okay, So it's like this, yeah, like like this and this, wouldn't she straight in the front leg? Yeah? This, you do it a lot? You do it. No, I'm Stewart accused me of it. I was gonna sit on. I'm very aware of my button and Luigi um John Stewart. When I met him, I took a picture with him and he goes, I saw what you did there, thanks a lot, And I was like what. He was like, I'm a short guy. You had to bend down, you to bet down? I was like, I swear I didn't. I really didn't. Even you do it in um when you do peture, it's not like a mean thing, but you just have I think it's a tendency for you to because you're really good at it, just the same level. I don't want it. I like to be close to their head. You don't have to pat him on the head and go. Do you take a picture with me? Little? Oh? You would sit on my lap? Tell me what you went for Christmas? All right? The next thing on reddit tomp um, Oh, shut up, bitch. No, I'm like yelling at her about the thing that I just said. Okay, so stop, okay um? What is hot when you're This is on ask Creddit. What is hot when you're horny? But isn't when you're not? Here's some answers. It's always fun to read cream pieing a one night stand. It sounds really sexy and exciting at the moment, but it's a horrible idea. Otherwise, creampying if you don't know, is yeah, pulling my hair. I have a very sensitive scalp. Nothing pisses me off quicker than getting my hair yanked on, unless it's during sexy times and I love it. Wow. Do I relate to that one? And you need to grab it a lot of it, not a little bit, don't let's not even talk about the time you grabbed a couple of strands of Brenda's hair. It makes me I can't even listen to it. It makes me so sad. Um. Someone said, I used to date a girl who was into huge toys and fisting. I was happy to indulge. We would take videos in pictures. One time, after a session, she was kind of like, fun, I think I'm starting to cross the line. She asked me to delete it, and we had some drinks, and after after four she was like, hey, you didn't delete those picks yet, have you? Then she took a second look and she began talking about trying more stuff. We broke up because her job took her elsewhere and my field was pretty sparse. There still think of her most days. I don't understand video of it. She didn't want to see a video of her getting fisted until after she got drunk, because after when she sobered up, she's like, oh, I shouldn't have done that to um doing things during sex that You're like, I don't need to see that. Ship Um, do you have anything that you said? All that stuff? I mean, there's times where you end up eating the girl out or blowing and you're under the bed. You don't even know how you got under. Uh. Ask credit, Um, what is your worst experience on drugs? These are always my favorite to read. If you want to have a good old time, go to ask credit and just read people's responses because you just get they all the best responses get up voted. Someone said, I once on shrooms convinced myself I didn't exist. My eyes were just movie screens and I was watching someone else live their life. Um. Someone said, I've had something similar before, and weed was truly terrifying. It's basically depersonalization. Um. I went into edibles thinking it would be real chill, and I experienced deep personalization bad for like three hours. It was the strangest thing. Someone said, did a dab, threw up, slept on my friend's carpet for fourteen hours. Someone said called nine one one one time on mushrooms because I was smoking a blunt and tripped myself out, trip myself out thinking about my lungs. Asked them to come to my house with some oxygen and to leave the lights on, lights and sirens off. Good times. I've never done salvia. No can I just say never? Do salth you guys. I've done it once and I didn't have this experience. But I've read so many forums where people have done salvia, which is it's like this legal thing that's like you smoke it and you tripp for like seconds, but it feels like an eternity, and people have the worst trips ever. Someone said I smoke pot for the first time in almost twenty years to distress and ended up experiencing experiencing massive anxiety. I think I smoked too much because I had to remind myself to breathe. It felt like my brain was forgetting to tell my body to do it. That seems like something that would happen to you. Yeah, I mean I went to the e er multiple times, but the one on weed where I ended up in the heart word for three days. There you go. That's gotta be it. Someone said, bought salvia at our f s U weekend Wednesday market thing scariest drug I've ever taken. One friend said he went back in time and saw his dead dad. The drug kicks and so fast, gives you no time to assimilate. Someone said tried salvia once never again, thought I was trapped in a new state of life where I had no body. Worst ever, someone said I was trapped in the universe that was just one third inch of standing water. I was actually standing on a pool table. Someone said why do people do salvia? Seriously, I've never heard anything fun that comes of it. Is it just people wanting to test their limits? Um? Someone said salvia gave me anxiety for months after so not worth so not worth it. It made me question reality and three D space. It all felt so much less real about having reality steamrolled by It all felt so much less real after having my reality steamrolled by salvia. I get freaked out when thinking about materials and surfaces, trying to understand what they are actually made of. I get that they're made of atoms, but what exactly does that mean? What is it? What is it? I guess it's hard to explain, but thankfully that doesn't affect my daily life anymore. Someone said I've never heard of a single person that ever enjoyed salvia. I've heard many first person accounts of trips, and they all sound like unmitigated nightmares. Um. Someone said, got stuck in the woods at a music festival on acid because I was afraid that the cars and the parking lot were out to eat me. Final thought. Um oh, someone said, what is this? What is something you call by a company name instead of the actual thing it is? This is an ask credit? Um. Some examples include what was that jeep? I don't even know what that is besides a jeep, but apparently that's the brand. Well I thought jeep was a car, but it's a brand. Oh you thought it was a type of car, like a sedan or something. Yeah, like there could be a Tesla jeep. Yeah, exactly. It's like what Andrew did a prank call and he said, I'm calling from Macy's about the Zara sweater you didn't return. And I go, dude, you're talking about something You can't return a Zara sweater to Macy's. A jeep isn't a kind of carp it's a cleanex okay. Um. I had a coworker that called all donuts Dunkin Donuts and it drove me crazy. Someone said, um, there's some interesting ones in here. Taser taser is a room. Yes, Um, do you know that taser is an act? And him for Thomas A. Swift's electric rifle. Um, Alan Wrench's Frisbee, velcro kevlar, Dumpster. That one's an interesting one. Uh tape, Yeah, dumpster is the actual brand duct tape roller blades. They're actually called inline skates roller blades brand. Um oh not okay, so this isn't what the op asked for. OPI on Reddit as original poster the person that posts the question, but all edited images are referred to as photoshop, regardless of what software was used. Jaccuzzy, Zamboni, Tupperware, um, trampoline, post Its, Xerox, Chapstick, Google, band Aid. Who's doing anything but googling? Though? Like you're not going to alta vista or web crawler? Yeah, what is that? Then? What's that called? It's called like a plaster at least that's what they call them in um Britain, a plasta Um. What is something common that has never happened to you? This is on ask men. Never been in a fight, being a guest on someone else's wedding. Literally every person I know has been on one but me. Nope, I'm afraid the first wedding I'll ever tend would be my own. You're lucky if that's never had You haven't not like a like may pick my nose in some blood, but never like. Wow, that's interesting. Broken bones someone said, never had a broken bone. You haven't stitches, but no broken bone? Yeah? My um, heel bone the hardest bon Jumping over a fence, being stood up for a date. Someone said, never been mutually in love. Oh that's sad um. Chickenpox someone said they've never had Well, they'll get it. Top three green flags. This is for dating advice, dating underscore advice flags like think like bosnia um. Number one his kindness to everyone, not just me and his friends, family, to open communication about how he feels outside of and inside of the relationship. A good sense of humor and optimism. Oh my god, hold on, we have a couple of minutes. I wanted to get to this. I'm reading the book Attached, and I promised i'd finish it because no I told no I would, so although I would have already put it down, I keep reading it. Last night I couldn't sleep. Holy funck? Am I anxious? Attached? And you guys got to read this book because it makes you feel so less crazy for being a girl that overthinks things. Anxious Attached people? I did not know this pay attention to details that other people just do not And it's not because they're crazy, it's because they and oh my god, the statistics are so crazy. In the dating pool, there is not going to be as many you're always looking for a secure partner if you're anxious attached. Always like if you find someone who is, there's anxious attached, there's secure attached, and then there's um avoidant. Most of the dating pool is avoidant attached because avoidant people avoid relationships, so they're always getting thrown out of them and they're back in the dating pool. So most of the people that you're gonna date are going to be avoidant. And the second you're if you're an anxious attached person, which a lot of women are and men, the second you sense that they're avoidant, get the funk out because it's not going to change and you need to look for the red flags of avoidance. So this this book, though the chapter don't avoid anxious Attached, I didn't even want to read it because I'm, like, I know, I probably am. I don't want to be labeled this thing that has the word anxious in it. That makes me feel like I'm a clingy like needy. You know nothing is ever going to be enough. I want love, please please me think kind of girl, But I am, and there's nothing wrong with it. Anxious attached people are not bad because they feel unlovable or they feel like they're not good enough. Yes, those are kind of things about it. But the reason you are is because the way you were raised and because you didn't get your needs met at some certain point. It's not your fault, and it doesn't mean you're unlovable, doesn't mean you can can't have a stable relationship. You don't even need to fix yourself. You just need to find someone who's secure attached, because when you're anxious attached, things that um make you that trigger your anxiety are like like I'm someone who will know exactly. They gave an example of like here's a guy that's anxious attached, and he knows how many times the phone rang before it went to voicemail. Then he knows he called again, Now it ranged this many times. Then he realizes it was seven minutes before she got back to me. What was she doing that? Like knows all the times? Knows Like, okay, they posted they watched my first story, but then they dropped off, like I know all of those things when I'm into someone. Anxious people are constantly looking for validation that the person they are into does not like them. And then as soon as they get validation based on one of these things that they see that other people, by the way, are anxious people actually do their rights. Well, they're right. Anxious people notice things they've done tests that that you know, um, either avoidant or secure people just don't notice. We pick up on little micro aggressions, micro things because we're always looking for someone to not like us. And so when you find when someone does one of those things, it validates that they are leaving you, and you get and you do this thing called um forget what the word is, but you you go into this mode of anxiety. It triggers it. You can be a normal person and then it triggers this anxiety. And all that it takes for you to get out of this level of anxiety is a secure person. So a secure person might in and inadvertently trigger your anxiety. Let's say like for this example, this guy was calling his girlfriend. It rang three times, it went to voicemail. The next time, it rang not even once, and it went to voicemail, and he starts spiraling an hour. In that hour, he spirals he's because he's insecure. She doesn't like me anymore, she's avoiding me. Then, like all these things, turns out her boss was right there and she was a middle of the things that she couldn't talk in the second she communicated that his anxiety is quelled and he's back to normal and everything's fine. So the thing about anxious attached people is they're not They will always get back to a stasis. They're not going to stay anxious if you are just with a secure person who tells you the truth and is not fucking with you. Now, avoidant people are constantly not telling the truth. They're constantly trying to mislead you, do things that will make you feel less than judge. You leave things ambiguous, So they're going to torture unintentionally and anxious attached person. The interesting thing is the dating pill is filled with avoidant people. Avoidance never end up with other avoidance. There's been study after study. Anxious attached always ends up with avoidant attached or secure attached. You should always try to end up with secure attached. Anxious I don't they didn't really talk about the sets of anxious and anxious. I think that that's probably a thing that happens but doesn't last as long avoidant and avoidant never get together. And what they said about anxious attach people is if you go on a date with someone who is secure, generally they they do not validate. The feeling that you have is that you're unlovable and that you're going to be left, So they seem boring. And after a while, which is what I was talking about, when you're in a relationship that goes up and down and every time you're anxious you get soothed, you start to equate anxiety with soothing, the soothing that follows, and you start to like it. You start to like the anxiety because you know that you're gonna be soothed afterwards. In this way that feels so good and so put you at such peace. So when you meet someone that's just stable and there's no wave, they seem boring. And what they found was that if anxious attach people wait that feeling out the boring nous and stick it through even though the person is boring and they're getting like boring alerts to be like this guy sucks, he's boring, waited out because what they found in studies is that anxious attached people, when they make judgments about things like okay, it took him that long to write, he's not gonna he doesn't like me anymore, they were usually right. But they were right. They were right so much more of the time. They're they're usually right when they make these judgments, but their rightness goes up exponentially when they wait five seconds a minute and make a decision. So they were doing these tests where like they show a person's expression and they have to guess is that person mad at me or not? Or is that a bad expression? And when the anxious test person had no time limits of like now answer, they just answered right away and they were right, let's say eight percent of the time. I'm just making up these numbers. But when they were forced to not submit their answer about what they thought that person's expression was until a minute, where they were like, think about it for a minute, you have to you're forced to that person was right a hundred percent of the time. So if you're an anxious attached person, you've got to read this book. Whether you're attached like which whatever way it is fucking It's so fascinating, and I'm someone that knows a lot about this stuff, so I feel like a lot of books talked down to me and like hold my hand through things that I'm very well versed in because I've been going to therapy for since i was eighteen. This book is opening my eyes to many new things every time I read it, So I can't recommend it enough. And I gotta go to therapy right now so I'll see it tomorrow. Don't be Cat and Jes