Between you and Nikki, she's slowly finding clarity on a bad habit she wants to break. Nikki and Andrew discuss what they would be like at a College Bar and how much things have changed for them since their drinking days. You Heard It Here First, how to stay safe, brushing off other people's opinions and Nikki is so done with weed. In Nikki's Reddit Dump she unloads on a photo taken in bad taste, a celebrity who told the same joke once a year and kissing herself. In the Final Thought they call Emil Wakim to discuss a great pick up line.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The nick Podcast. Hey here, I am welcome to the show. It's Tuesday, Nicky Glazer Podcast. Hi guys, I was just looking at my Instagram Noah, and um, this girl that I follow posted a picture of her thumb, like when you flex your something like giving a thumbs up, and you look at the there's an initial in the lines in your thumb where it bends. You can find an initial of like a letter, and it's like you can find the name of, like the initial of the person that you're you are in love with or something. Really yeah, well, I think if you just look at your thumb lines enough, you can get anything you want out of them. This is a you know, kind of horoscope thing where you're just like, oh my god, it's so me. But this girl really does have a K in her thomb and her husband was Kevin. But also what if her husband was Chinese and the K is just a symbol that doesn't look like okay, you know what I mean the English alphabet yeah, or you know, I guess what's the alphabet? I mean, Italians use the same alphabet. Yeah, I guess that Latin. Yeah, Okay, maybe that's it. We don't know things on the show. Um, do you see anything in your thumb? I see an S. But it's just because the squig the like the lines in my I see an S and I don't have anyone in my life with an S name. That's a bummer. Oh wait, this thumb I'm seeing like a an X. There's no a xavier. I don't know. What are you again? What's your star sign? A Taurus? What does it check out for you? Are you like pretty much? You're stubborn and loyal, stubborn in loyal. Yeah, I would say that you're you're both those things. Do you worry about what people? Do? You? Do you? If someone doesn't like you, doesn't bother you? Because I went to therapy yesterday and I was talking about being a pupil pleaser, and um, I'm going to like, I'm going to a therapy session with someone that I'm seeing and I'm not even like official with, but we're just seeing if we should be. It's really interesting. But we're talking about people pleasing because that's one of my character defects that this person it doesn't make them feel safe because they think that I am not consistent, and like, you know, I can say that I like someone and then or I can say that I don't like someone and then I'll post something promoting their album or whatever. And for me, I really work on being more consistent with my word, Like I'm less of a two face person than I used to be. In the past. I think it was just a lot of insecurity, but now I do when I when I say like, oh god, that person is so cold, and then I end up like posting their album or liking them or or you know, being kind to them when I see them, I argue that someone can be could and I can still like them, Like people contain multitudes, like I can really hate this thing about someone, but I that doesn't mean that I don't think they're funny and want people to see their album and and it's not even about And sometimes for me, like I think that sometimes people pleasing or um, you know, being nice to people that are in positions of power can be interpreted as oh, you know, I want something from them in terms of like they can give me some of like I'll get a role on their thing, or I'll get a they'll like me and they'll put me in something and I'll get more famous. And that's not really why I ever people please you generally people please or UM am fakely nice to someone when I don't like them because I'm scared of them. It's more of fear, not of like missing out on the things they can give me, but fear of them being mean to me. What are you scared of in that situation? If someone is mean to you, Um, I'm scared They're gonna say things about me that I that are going to confirm my biggest fears about myself, and then I will have to just like that, I'll just then that thing that I've always secretly thought about me. They're gonna they're They're usually type of person, you know. The people that I'm most scared of are usually these people that are are not scared to say to like tell you the truth, you know, and a lot of times it can be very cruel, and I'm just scared of, you know, I'm scared of beings, of of upsetting someone to the point where they are like you're ugly, like pretty much being called ugly, or being called like untalented or a fraud. All my deepest insecurities of like I'm truly this thing, or like, you know, your face is sag just something mean, who's ruth is that? Though? Like if if you are with a person and you get into and that person doesn't like you, and their truth is to tell you, uh, what they think about you, which is probably a projection of themselves and what they think about themselves, why is that the truth? Um? Because I tend to, I think, value people's opinions when they're a type of like narcissist where they just seem like they know what's right, like I I sometimes you know, I think based on not having a lot of self esteem growing up, I just kind of deferred to people who had the confidence that they were right. And so I still have that in me that if someone it's their truth and that's enough for me. You know, Like if they think I'm ugly, whether or not it's true, it's true for them. And even if it isn't true for them, at least they think it is. So you know, subconsciously they might think they're ugly, yet they're telling me that I'm ugly. But um, both can be the same too, Like you can project things onto people and it can be true for them even if it's a projection. So I think it's you know, just having someone out there who generally the people I'm most scared of are people that I know talk shit about people, um and can spread lies and opinions like wildfire and get their comments the most up voted so the most people can see them. Like. That's That's generally why I don't want to comments, you know, on my YouTube clips, or I don't like to read YouTube comments, because people's people's opinions get formed based on those people's the most outspoken people's opinions of you. So I think that's it, And um, I just wonder, do you. I wonder what's the difference between me wanting someone that I'm kind of scared of. You know, I've talked about this, like I have nightmares that I'm nice to Trump. I'm scared of Trump. Trump's like complete lack of empathy and his unbridled confidence and smugness and self assuredness that is intimidating to the masses and that can obviously influence the masses is terrifying to me. And I want him to like me. Even though I hate him, I still want him to like me because I'm scared of what if he does not like me, what that could do to my life, and so there are a lot of people like Trump and I'm I'm talking about narcissists who I seek their approval because I'm I'd rather them not notice me or like me. But if they don't, I don't want. You know, I think a lot of times, you know this person and others too, can see me be nice to people that I truly hate, and they are like, this is so inconsistent. You're being nice to someone, and it's like, I'm just trying. Because I have to interact with this person. I'd prefer it to be kind then for it to be negative, because I don't want the brunt of what it is to be on their ship list. So I would profess, so I overcompensate by being nice. If I could choose, I would have zero interaction with this person and not exist to this person. But if I'm forced to interact with people that I do have strong opinions about in that way, I'm going to be super nice because I'm scared of them, because I'm smart, because SoC sociopaths and narcissists are dangerous and if they don't like you, you should you should be scared, right, And they're all over I read a great book once called I Think Like the Corporate Psychopath, and I learned so much about just like they're CEOs, are just like managers and just people who think are regular people who are actually psychopaths who are at work. Yes, it could be in the cubicle next to you, So the need to be liked, it's not so much a self esteem issue as a self preservation issue. In my defense, you know, likely goes back to like primitive your your primitive brain and survival and stuff. Yeah, and and also knowing you know, Let's say there's someone and I think what they've done is morally abhorrent and possibly illegal, and they've maybe they've been canceled for their actions, and now they get uncancelled and now they're famous again, and I'm now I have to interact with that person because I either have to bring them on stage or I have to like see them in the hallways at the comedy place. And I know the truth about them, and they've been forgiven by society because we tend to forget those things, and they were charged with anything, or even if they were. Let's just say, like I if I met crisp, I don't like Chris Brown I don't like what he did. I think he's a monster. I think he's obviously went through a lot of childhood trauma that led him to be have anger issues that lead him to take violent actions against women, especially if I ran into him. I remember one time he was in the building that I was in, and I was terrified because I was just like, I don't want to I don't want to upset him because I'm scared of his anger. I don't It's not because I want him to put me in a song and feature me so I can make millions of dollars. I don't want to be I don't want to be in the same building as him. So I don't know. I'm getting defensive for no reason. But I think that, Yeah, And I feel like I didn't get like heard in the way that I needed to in terms of like, I just don't want people thinking that I people plead so that I can get roles and things and this person, this rich person will like me and they'll give me things and I'm going to be more famous. Like, I don't know, I just think that sometimes. Umm, I'm really terrified of being misconstrued as a climber. I'm not nice to people who are famous so that I can get things. I mean, they're nice to them because I admire them, and I want to be friends with them and be around them because they're interesting people. And they're obviously famous because they're interesting. They just so happen to be famous. It's not so that I can feel famous or get something when I've been put in things that people have given me over the year, like I and you know, I have a defense up of this of I'm writing a chapter for this book about it, and I'm writing about you know, when I started getting success early on, people would say it's because, Oh, it's because the guy wants to fuck you. That's why they gave you that thing, or you got that thing because that guy you you did have a relationship with that guy, so he offered you stage time. I would always turn down stage time. I didn't. I don't take things unless I know that I can do a killer job at them, you know, barring Dancing with the Stars, Dancing with the Starters, I did agree to do even though I knew I would be struggling at it, because it's part of the show that you struggle is built into it. That you don't have to be required to be a good dancer. But if someone offered me, you know, early on in my career, when I would be offered by comics who probably wanted to sleep with me, Yes, there was a little bit of that, and they would often restage time, you know, like five minutes on my show, come do it, hang out. I'd go to hang out because I wanted to hang out and like be around comedians, but I wouldn't accept the stage time because I wasn't good enough. I was never delusional enough to think I deserved things. I would take them if they were given to me, and I would trust people going like, no, you are good enough, but I would generally turn it down. And I think I just get defensive when people think I'm doing things to like get famous or like get ahead. I've never done that. Honestly, I'd be much more successful if I accepted all the opportunities that have been offered to me before I felt like I deserved them. I think a lot of women, like professional women, I think on all levels who you know, uh, just pursue career. I think they all kind of go through that, especially in male dominated industries. I know I felt that way as soon as you get things that people say it's only because men want to fuck you. Yeah, oh, because you look hot, you know you, They just want to see you more. They want to see her, ask more. Stuff like that. That's not about like it might also be my work. Listen, that might be true. Let's just be honest, which is fine. Men do give women opportunities who they want to fuck, But that doesn't mean that you're not also talented. Both can be true exactly, And that's what would bother me, is like, yeah, that guy I did, I did have a crush on that guy, and that guy did like me, but I didn't. I'm I'm still funny. That doesn't take Yeah, and yes, I've gotten opportunities because men have wanted to suck me that. There's no way that's not happened. It's just the way it is. That's happened. A we're supposed to turn down that work even though I know that I could kill do a killer job. Um no, I won't turn it down if I can do a killer job. Have I turned it down when I know I can't get a killer job? You're damn right, I have do. I think every girl should turn down every opportunity if she thinks that maybe I will bomb this. No, take it. The guy who thinks he can fun you and he gives you something, take it? What an idiot. But but that doesn't take away from the fact that you you also might be talented enough, and um so I think both can be true. But I just, um, yeah, I'm struggling with this people pleasing thing because it's you know, it seems to be an issue that, um, you know, I don't want I I hate the idea that someone thinks that I'm doing it so I can people ie people please all the time. But it's not to get things. And maybe it is to get things. It's to get it's to get it's to get a better life, you know, for me and my loved ones. Okay, let's say I've never done it, but let's say I do. You know, I flirt with someone to get a role or something, or like, I'm nice to someone's because they have a role in a movie that I want. I want that role in the movie. So maybe yes, I can get more famous, but not so people can like me. I really don't give a funk anymore about how many people like me. I do care about the number of people that like me, because it amounts to Monday, more people like you, more money you get, and then that money I can use for when my parents get cancer and I can give them money so that they don't have to work. Like it all comes down to my parents getting old and being able to take care of them. It doesn't come down to me being like I can. More people will think I'm hot. Isn't that a huge revelation though, because it sounds like the people pleasing is fear. And now what you just said right now, where you're afraid of about your parents, that I'm scared of my parents dying and being in a bad situation when they die, or being worried about money when they die, or or you know someone in my family needing. I do everything. I'm motivated by money because money to me equals health and happiness for my family and my loved ones, and you know the charities I care about, and and even for myself at times. A lot of times, you know, um, yes, it means more Starbucks I get. I spent upboards of third dollars on Starbucks a day. Sometimes that is not me being generous to the world, but that's a me thing that I do indulgent and yes, money by money does go towards that. So maybe some jobs I take to go Okay, let me write off my Starbucks this year. But um, this whole notion of and if let's just say someone does people please because they want to be liked? You know, let's talk about Kurt, could we we we can call curt things out. Does it mean those people are bad people? No? That you know, if someone posts something on Instagram to get attention, let's go there. The most important thing that we all can think of is like someone being thirsty and just wanting sympathy, or like wanting to look cool or wanting people to think they're special. What is that really rooted in? Or should we hate those people as much as we do? Is Kirk? Should Kirk cause us to hate people? No? Wow? Should Honestly, if we track it should make you go, that's so sad that that person doesn't feel good enough that they can't just drive down the street without revving their engine. They are so insecure that they need to get attention by by taking on this identity of you know, they seek it through other ways. So I see them as misguided man guided person misguided and in search of at they want attention. We have this disgust for people who want attention, but truly, it's just if you saw them as that baby crying and not getting their mom to come nurture them. When they're screaming, crying and they have shipped in their pants and they've been left for hours because their mom is playing fucking Solitaire on the computer. What you know, whatever neglect they suffered that led them to later rev their engine, you go, that poor person, but some reason when they read their engine, we go, fuck you, you fucking loser. So kiss still can be called out, and we should still go because we want people to be more self aware about when they're doing those sad things and maybe go, I don't want to be a guy that's kid. Why don't I look into why I'm actually doing this and get to a place where I don't need to disrupt those around me to get this love that I wasn't met with as a child. So this doesn't take away from let's still call out kid, but to hate people that are we don't need to do that. And anyone who we see on Instagram today that we're like, oh my god, they want people to like them so much. So what that doesn't mean they're bad. It means they're sad. Be sad for them, don't be mad at them. And that's my final thought on that. Let's get Andrew in here. Andrew, Hey Andrew, good morning, nick good morning, how you doing? Good morning? Look? Really this is a love it. I don't even know what it is, but I like it. I think it's my hair is in front of my ears. Yeah, with the pink hat and the black so I don't know, you look cool. Yeah. Thanks told Nicky the same thing I said. I like your look. It is about this look that is doing it makeup on cool? Thank you, hip thanks, hip hip hip hip hipparette. How'd you sleep? Um? Okay, yeah, okay, okay yeah uh no dreams of Little John although he's always in my heart. I did almost steal his crunk cup. I know we almost hung out with him again too. I know he was in Columbus when we were Yeah you me and Andrew Santino was in Columbus too. And Andrew was going to hang out with Little John. It was didn't happen. No, I got excited though. We did go out in Columbus though. Yeah, we went to that was the first time I've been out like ever. We went to a like a bar with a college bar. It was a very college bar. Yeah, college it's weird. You know, neither one of us drink, so there's nothing more like a zoo then a college bar when you're not drinking. Like, I can't even imagine what I look like in college to someone that walked in who was forty one years old and not drunk. Yeah, not drunk. I mean I probably had my shirt tucked in. I loved it. I felt invisible, you know, because you're not like a young hot thing, so I felt like like I could just like people watch. It was fun. Oh yeah it was. It was so loud, though. I just cannot guys, protect your ears. Start wearing um earplugs at a concerts, and I can't believe people don't wear earplugs at concerts. It makes me so worried for them. If you were a college kid and you had ear plugs and you would get thrown out of the party, I would have done that. Had I even thought about it back then, I would have done it. I was very cautious. But those bars are so fucking loud. And I think it's, you know, because drunk people are loud. Drunk people get so loud whenever you were any even like, you know, you go to a restaurant, there's a table of drunk people, the screaming starts, and it's I wonder what it is. Do you just get stupider. I'm working on a new premise did you here last weekend? I was talking about And I feel like it's going to really be a good point about. You know. One of the one of the things I always think about when I quit drinking, and that's in that Alan carrbook that I always promote, UM, is that you know, people say, oh, I need alcohol. It's liquid courage. Like it makes me a better version of myself. It makes me brave, you know, like it makes me be able to conquer social anxiety and all these things. Um, if it was really made you brave all alcohol doesn't make you dumb. It doesn't make you brave. You just do things that are dumb, like because your sense of don't do that, that little voice in your head that's telling you not to do things that are gonna get you killed or get you know, harm. You get drunk, so you don't. So this whole thing of I'm more brave isn't real when you're drunk. If it was, firefighters would get loaded before they ran into a burning building. Why don't the way? But why don't they? Then? If if if drinking alcohol really makes you brave, why don't firefighters get drunk? Yeah, or like were surgeons or someone doing a thing that requires a lot of like nerves. It's that's it's it's because it doesn't make you brave. It makes you stupid. Alcohol does not When you tell someone when you get drunk, and you tell someone like I like you or whatever it is, you don't do that when you're not drunk because it's not a smart thing to do because your body is regulating like, hey, this is gonna protect you. This is not And it makes drunkenness is on a uh you know, if you keep drinking, you get all the way to full blown. The word you can't say dumb, very dumb. Yeah. I feel like when I when I used to drink, it was definitely I guess to feel more brave at a party, which is just me being able to say hello to a random girl like that's my bravery. But yeah, no, but yeah, yeah, you want to. It's I guess brave and on a I guess awareness. Bravery is conquering a fear is overcoming the anxiety that you go you know, if you're about to bungee jump and you're super scared, bravery and that or running into a burning building or doing something heroic that you know you have anxiety about, or public speaking, like I had to get over public speaking without drinking. Like when people drink so they can go on stage, you're not getting a good performance. You're there, you're dolling everything about yourself so that you can get past that thing. When you really conquer a fear, that's when it's really brave, because it's requires when when you tell a person you like them, or make a move on them, or go lean in for a first kiss, this thing that is fraught with like like you're you're fraught with anxiety because you're like, what if they reject me, what if they don't like me? Well, what requires you to get over that when you're sober is that you like them enough that you're willing to risk it. And that is true bravery when you are willing to look fear in the face and say I see you and I'm still going to do it. That's bravery. Getting drunk enough so that fear doesn't even raise itself. That's not braver. You're not overcoming anything. You're a loser. You're a loser, Yes, you mean. I think the argument I'm not saying you're a loser if you drink, but like you are, you shouldn't be proud of that that you did nothing. But I think the argument is that you put game genie on yourself if you have like five cheven drinks, I agree. But if you're only doing one or two drinks and you're just a little bit looser, I think that's fine. I think interesting a drug, but it's not. You shouldn't be proud of yourself if you that's not it's not real. You proud to be proud of yourself if you ask for help and you go get a prescription for something that will take the edge off, and but you you're and if you have an anxiety disorder, we're talking about a different situation here. But if you're drinking so that you can get things done, you're not. Actually you are. You're capable of so much more, and you're capable of feeling so much more about your decisions and the things you do on the other side of those very scary moments. Then if you just drink yourself to a place where you can do them, I'm with you, except for the fact that I think that people that have a healthy relation. I think you can have a healthy relationship with alcohol. I know that sounds kind of like an oxymorpi. I think there's people out there that can fucking like be insanely intelligent and maybe be not a braver. I think the word brave is but they're not drinking so that they can do They can say something or dance a little bit. Well, if they're doing that, then they well they're doing it something. But if they want to dance and the only way they can is to drink, you've got a problem. But if when they happen to drink, they just suddenly want to dance, that's different. But if you were like I used to drink because I wanted to be more social and I wanted to have more friends and fit in and not and and tell boys I like them and kiss boys and be able to hook up with guys. That didn't help me in my actual pursuit of intimacy, which is what I truly wanted. It actually made me not even present for those moments I was able to have them. But when I quit drinking, what was waiting for me was not like, oh good, I've got all that practice that I did. I got all those intimate moments while I was drunk that I got, I got past it at one point that meant nothing all of those I was still starting from square one, which it was still waiting for me when I quit drinking, of the anxiety of getting over all the things that I was still scared of before I started drinking. As interesting is I I went to a wed or not a wedding, like a like a boogie party, which a thousand percent if I was if I was still drinking, I would have had nine drinks within the first five minutes, because that's how uncomfortable I was with these kind of people. And to be on the dance floor with these like I just it was like like no way in fucking hell, but within like an hour hour And it took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to finally feel comfortable. And I danced with Brenna on the dance floor, completely sober and I remember all the dance, and I remember like like not like being You know what what drinking does is it cuts off seeing the person right next to you looking at you, maybe going, man, that's a weird dance, like all that kind of ship. Yeah, they don't even It's not like you don't care about them. It's they don't even exist to you. You're not even in the It's not like you're like, I know that they're there, and I actually I like myself enough to not care. It's not that they don't exist you when you drink, they don't exist. She I think if you're if your anxiety levels, go to a party, maybe don't drink right away. Maybe it's just it and a half. You might have to wait through it. Like this is not easy, by the way, Like I when I could drinking and and suddenly was like, how do I have sex? It took me years before I was able to overcome all the fears. And I was making out with guys and hooking up while I was drinking, and I go, why can't I do that again? I've already done it. I conquered that fear with alcohol. Why isn't that fear already conquered now, but it was just I had to get back and now, yeah, it takes me a little. It's not that easy for me to you know, maybe you're listening at home and you're going Nikki is so easy for you stand on stage, Like I have social anxiety when I go to parties. I need to drink to feel I get it. But you might have an easier time hooking up than I have fears too that I have to that suck that I would love to have alcohol for or zann X four and I don't really I don't use an X anymore, but I have in the past. But um, yeah, you have to be uncomfortable. You it's going to be uncomfortable. There's no to your point. Like they say that alcohol reduces your inhibitions, and here's a definition of an inhibition, a feeling that makes one self conscious, self conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way. Mm hmm. Yes, But it alcohol takes away your inhibitions because it makes you stupid. If you look at people that have brain injuries or they were born mentally handicapped or challenged, that is what being drunk makes you. But I guess and of course they're not scared. They hug people anyone who will look at them. They'll go up to strangers and go, you know, like when you look at someone who's mentally challenged to has a that condition, you go, oh my god, they're so funny and like they dance and they don't care if their stomachs hanging out, and they're they're free with their body. But you don't go, I want that. You go, that's we excuse that because they have a mental handicap. But if that person was drunk, you'd go, that is gross, and that's what you do to yourself when you drink. I think living in New Orleans for four years, it's just such a part of the culture. So it's like, I don't know, the world every day is tough for a lot of people. Like so like if you can get fucking hammered on a Friday and Saturday, oh my god, it's best feeling dumb and stop thinking, especially if your brain and maybe you don't realize, like you could go to a psychiatrist and maybe figure out like what's going on, or a psychologists, But like just to feel dumb, like isn't always a negative. I think I think sometimes it's like, fucking for four hours, I could be a fucking idiot, and yeah, you could blame it on the alcohol. Whatever, It's not gonna make your life better though, it never will. On the other side of acting dumb and getting black out drunk, you're gonna feel sick, You're gonna not remember what you did. Have you ever gotten drunk and felt better about yourself the next day? Truly? Um, maybe not the next day, but maybe a week later. I was like, God, the fucking game with my friends where we each and you know, there were times when like I would drink and it would just be a great dinner or a great hang. And then obviously I went way past that with jager bombs and I would fucking be in the shower, sitting on the floor. But was ever a night where you did not drink to excess in those times? Yeah? Yeah, there were, but not few and far between. I think now today, if I drank, it would be it would be different. Like I literally like when I envisioned drinking, I envisioned maybe having like two coronas on a boat. I think it's the salad thing that you said yesterday. What do you mean you go, oh, I can have a salad. I'll take the crutons off and then you eat the whole salad. Because the problem is people like and I listen, I'm just talking to the person that has said this to myself a bunch of two. I was like, right now, I could just have to. But the problem is the person that you are right now saying that gets drunk. You get that voice that goes, I'm just gonna have too drunk, and you take away their inhibitions and then they go one more, what's one more? And then that person gets more drunk, and then if if you could control it, you would I agree with that, but I do think people change, and yeah, I just think, like I think back on like what I would spend my money on, like buying a fucking Mercedes and cash. Well, you know what I think would happen is that you would not like the feeling of being drunk as much right now. That's how I feel like. I think it would make me feel sick right away, because I would just be like, oh, I don't like feeling out of control. You know how some people just never drink because they're like, oh, I don't know. It just made me feel like sad and out of control. And some people just don't respond to that well because they like themselves and they're like, it made me feel less. Me, that's how you might feel now because you actually like yourself, so you whereas before you hated yourself, so when you felt less, you you're like, finally. But now I feel like if I got drunk, i'd be like I can't articulate my thoughts as well. I can't be as kind where you know, empathetic whatever it is, or like engaged like or I feel like a little like the world is spinning a little bit. I used to love that feeling. I was telling a meal this weekend. I used to tell my last year of drinking. I remember telling my friends Sabrina. I remember being like I was at the creek in the cave, and I go, let's get black out, Like that would be My goal is to just disappear. I get the person that wants to get take the weekends here, let me just clock out. I take depression naps so that I can just not exist for a couple of hours. I get wanting to clock out. I'm not judging it. I'm just saying, if you're convincing yourself that it's a healthy thing to do. You're wrong, but that's okay. You I do want healthy things all the time, but telling yourself that it actually makes your life better in the long run is a lie. But that's okay. We you're allowed to lie to yourself. You're not a bad person because you're lying to yourself. You're not You don't deserve to punish yourself because you're lying to yourself. It's just a thing you do to get by, and that's okay. Yeah. I used to that someone was like, you know, I felt if I felt judged at all, like my first reaction would be like, oh, you just don't have a good time. You don't understand the culture in New Orleans, or you don't understand you're very defensive, you know, and uh, I don't know. Yeah, I mean look there, Yeah, I just think back, like the best times that I ever had drinking was like when I wasn't getting blacked out. It was more like we're just hanging with some friends. Like when you get tired, you get it's almost like a little drunk because your inhibitions go away. And that's when I get to see Andrew be a little bit drunk because he says things that like, you're already unfiltered, but when you get tired, that's another form of being stupider. Like your brain starts to shut down and you get a little bit more of the word you can't say, and it becomes funny to see someone that just is a little bit out of it. I mean that was like, that was like my personality my whole life before, Like it was all about saying the outrageous thing or the darkest thing, and like, but you always had an excuse for it too. I was drunk. I mean when people cheat and they go, I was drunk there, that's such a bomb to put on your broken heart if you're a girl that gets cheated on. He was drunk. He didn't mean to. He was a different person. When you cheat and you're sober, that is a different vibe. That is like, that's a that's a different But guess what that's on a Tuesday at like seven, Yeah, that's I mean, girls are like, are you sure you weren't drunk? Please tell me you were drunk. You know, I was level headed, and I just don't like your respect to and was at the office. You were hammered. Please you all right, let's get to the dud. You're all right? Oh man, it's Tuesday, volts. You know what that means. It is Tuesday. I hope you're having all the swells out there, and by all the swells, I mean all of them. All right. I love that guy. Nicely done. Thank you. What women should know about staying safe? Okay, I feel like you've you've hit on a lot of these before, but trust your intuition. It was proven that women were better at reading facial expressions of emotion than men, and this allows them to pick up on intentions. Yeah, trust your gut. What am I thinking? Well, you're doing a fake face? No, No, you're too completely calm, you're happy. No, I'm Moreally, I feel like, very confident in my ability to pick up on people's moods. Oh that's something else. When you're drunk, you don't see. Oh yeah, that's why people get loud and people you know, come up to me after shows me like I just wanted to sell you and they can't see. And that's they falls aw a little backdrop that we have set up. Well, they they just don't know. They That's almost fun when people drunk because you can just look at your friends and roll your eyes and the person won't even see it. When I was when my mom used to get drunk, I used to say the fucking meanest ship that was deep in my heart because I knew she wouldn't remember. Oh, it was so fun. I used to go, I hate you. I hate like because I did you know, Like when my mom would get drunk, sometimes I would hate her and I got to just when I knew when I started figuring out that because I didn't drink, so I didn't understand what happened when you drank. But when when I realized she didn't remember anything, ha, I could go, I smoked weed last night and the night before with my friends. I got like I would just say the most insane ship. One time I told her I was gay. This is a true story because my friends and I were just It was in high school and I was driving her somewhere and she was in the backseat and I was like, check this out. And I said to my friend because I knew she wouldn't remember it the next day and I was like, mom, I'm gay, and I knew i'd get a real response. I was driving you're I was like, Mom, I'm gay, and she goes, Nicky, stop it, and I go, no, Mom, I'm seriously like, I'm I don't. I'm always scared to tell you, but I need you to know, like I am attracted women. And she goes, oh God, damn it. I knew it. She goes, I've known for so long. And I was like, and I remember my friend all of being like I did not think it's gonna go that way. I thought she was gonna go like, Nicky, no, like you know what, but she was just like we knew you. And I was like, I'm not, and she goes, it's fine, NICKI, it's fine. Gets to be yourself. She didn't remember it the next remember it. You know What's great though? If you were actually it would be a great way to like test out the waters with anything. Really, It's like I killed a guy. Did you black out? You wouldn't black out though, men don't black Yeah, black Remember beers is the John Mullaney thing of like your brain is just like we know where this is going. We're shutting down early. Well, what's interesting about our parents is like your parents, it's kind of like the idea of a crackhead couple where it's like, if one person is doing crack by themselves, it's really sad, but two people, it's kind of romantic because you have an interest, Like your parents have fun drinking together, and like it's like a thing that they do. My mom would drink alone in a room playing solitaire, which is a way sadder thing when you look at it. But if she just had a guy next to her in bed also drinking with her, I would have been so much app I wouldn't. I wouldn't my mom's drinking would end alone. Let me just say, we start with my dad and then my dad would go to bed, and then it would yeah, listen, it was the same. I wish they were friends. You know, they would a great time. Well. A lot of times there are two people that drink together and then they just they just are shouting into nothingness. They can't even communicate, like you know, a lot of times when they have drinking buddies, there's not a friend. When I stopped drinking, all my friends that I drank with, when we would hang out with them sober, we had nothing to talk about. There was nothing there because when you're drunk, you talk about fucking nothing. Turning the kids you talk about literally like yeah, teenagers, like I have a backpack and I just got to stay. You were talking about this is as as teenagers and that just my shoe and my shoe is where did you get those? I got him from the store. And then there's this little thing on here that's like they're the yeah, well the sometimes they hurt, but sometimes they really well. And because my sock is it gets bunched up and then the bunched up parts kind of like, what have you got new socks? Dude? I got these socks off Amazon. Dude. They're sick, dude, They're like, are so cool? But sometimes socks are not cool, dude, I know. But then your feet fucking sprank, dude. The thirst. I hate things that smell. Oh my god, you wouldn't. Sometimes smells going my nose and I'm like, what the fun is that? O my god, skunk pussy. Yeah, I'm hungry. And then drop your phone into a gutter and then cry and then stub your toe. You were there, You were there, Okay, use your words and screw politeness. Predators rely on your politeness in order to get you into situations you wouldn't normally go along. So many women have been murdered because they didn't want to make a guy feel bad that was making them feel scared. So many women, I mean this is so many women suck penises because the guy takes a penis out and you just go, oh, that'd be rude to tell him to put it away. It's too awkward, so I'll just do what he wants. Teach your children to not suck penises. I'm telling you, if you have young girls, tell them no matter what a man does, you always have a right to say no that makes me uncomfortable. If you're uncomfortable, you have a right to say something. I wish that would have got hammered into my head sooner than all the dicks that got hammered into my head. Because hammered dear kid's head like a dick that they'll probably suck if you don't do that, that's so funny. You gotta that should be learned. Situational awareness. Predators look for distracted victims, like in a parking garage, or like I think about how many people fucking look at their phones but from the train station to their house and never once look up where they could have been stabbed forty five times. Like that's the big one for me because when I think about that, when like you just like you're on your phone, You're like, how did I even get to my house? I didn't even look up once, you know what I mean. And I think that's how people get fucking fucked up nowadays. I think that, Yeah, walk through your day when you're in a safe environment, like if you're met like same meditation, and just go through your day and think about all the times I went to a jiu jitsu class, like a self defense like basic course, and they were like, just throughout your day. Go if someone has talk to me right now, what would I use? What would I do? And just think about all the times you're so vulnerable and what would you use. I'd use this fucking lava lamp, probably just to be like, dude, I'm pretty cool. Yeah, like, don't kill me. I've got a good style, Dude, I have a v W van Yeah yeah, I got it had no engine, and I pay think about it. Man, like these gloves, like why are they? Why is it psychedelt? Why are lava lamps associated with? Like I guess because they look like the kind of things you see when you do mushrooms. Yeah. Also, it's not moving right now, it's going. Yeah, alright, be careful meeting men on the internet. If you're meeting up with someone, always tell a friend or family member where you're going. That kind of ruins the romance, doesn't it to tell your friend, I'm going to this guy's house. Here is his address. I don't know. There's something about checking. It's so romantic to not I know, I tell anyone where you're going. There is a thrill to just doing something that your friend that's not doesn't take away from the romance. You don't have to get to the door and go. I told every when I know that I'm here that you know't to tell of the guy that well. I love when women go you're not a murderer, are you? And that's such funny. I'm not kidding you. I know that that's funny because what murder is gonna go? You got me? But there is a thing too if you When I asked that man that pulled over on the side of the rope, are you guys gonna rape me? And they got out of their car to like show me this cow or I forget it was in the Caymans, and I go, are you gonna rape me? The look on his face was so incredulous and just like disgusted at the notion that it assured me, Like women do know if you because if a guy was about to rape you and had that and you go, are you gonna rape me? And he goes like it would it would it would throw them if you called them out and go it's are you gonna murder me? It would throw a murderer, most murderers, I would say, you would be it's not the craziest thing to do. And I know that it's like such a ridiculous thing. I'm not kidding you. Girls, if you sense a guy is being weird and you go, are you can't ripe me? Honestly, you could get assurance from that question that you wouldn't think that you would. But a real rapist will get a little bit nervous when you said when he answers that after when I was hammered, I was and those two guys picked me up and I asked if they were going to kill me and he told me that I was the hitchhiker, Like, yeah, there's more, but like from his answer, and it broke the tension. First of all, it's honest, like be I think that's another thing that they could add to this list is like whatever you're feeling is right, and whatever you want to say or do in that moment, don't put that away, and don't don't say, oh, this is me being you know, having too much anxiety. I'm just I'm a worried ward. I'm a bad person because I think there's like on the other side of that, you could be saving your life. And maybe you are a really anxious person and people tell you it all the time, and you're over exaggerating and you're too worried about things in the moments where you think you're being murdered. Don't risk it. Just be that person. I think a brisket, I don't don't risk it every don't brisk aunt dimes and I just you hurt your mouth starts watering a little bit. No, But um, what was I gonna say? Oh, so apps or like dating apps at least daring COVID especially, Yeah, Um, they would have they would have zooms like you could date like so like if you're asking someone of their murderer, maybe maybe maybe do one phone call before you don't ask it on chat. You can't tell tone from chat, and so maybe one phone call with anyone murder and then the dot dot dot pops up and then it goes away, and then it pops up again. You're about to get sliced that that is ominous as fun a dot dot dot coming up and then going away when an answer no, if someone uses a period after an kind of one word answer, murder, yeah, Also, can we stop with the exclamation You have a lot of exclamation marks and you'r I try because it it makes it's Brenda does it too, and it just makes me think she's mad, even if it's like get the paper, like yeah, I don't know, an exclamation mark seems that's what I'm trying to prevent against of Like no, it's it's it's trying to show this. I use it so people don't think I'm mad when I go thank you with an exclamation mark. If it was just thank you, thank you, a different thing. But like um um, I'd have to look at an example. But yeah, find an example of when I use Sometimes you think I'm mad because I use an exclamation Brenna Brenna does Brenna does it in ways where I go, did she take time to hit the thing to hit the other thing because you think she's overcompensating because she is mad, so she's doing the opposite, actually mad, and she's yelling. I was like, why are you yelling about this? Like she's like, hey, can you pick me up from the airport with an exclamation marker? Yeah, the best example, but like, yeah, next time screenshot it will dissect it. You never owe him sex. You already went over that one. Never, no matter what, even if you said, I'm going to funk you as soon as I see you, if you get eive. There have been so many times where I've been, you know, talking with a guy a long distance and we've become very intimate over the phone and you know, sexting and all the things, and we've made plans to see each other, and I've made plans to fund them as soon as I see them because I want to in that moment, I want to, and then I get there and I don't want to, And guess what, I do it because I've already given my word and I feel like I have to. No longer I would just say I changed my mind. I'm allowed to your feelings aren't wrong. I wish someone would have taught me that earlier on, just because you've your feelings might be erroneous or like not based in truth, but if they're your feelings, just honor them. Just always honor them, because you end up if you sleep with someone and you don't want to but them. I argue, it's you're raping yourself because you don't want to be doing this, but you're doing it. You're forcing yourself to do it, so you're raping. I've often felt that way, so don't and and and it does feel like that. You might not characterize it as that, but it's a it's a you're abandoning yourself. I also feel like it's okay to be disliked, Like I wish I knew that earlier. I'm actually reading that book. I think you might encourage to be disliked. And uh, it's a great book because it's just a conversation between like like a brilliant like I don't even know what he would be calling, and then a student asking all the questions you would ask, like everything you would bring. But like, yeah, I think earlier on, I wish like it would be like, Okay, this person is mad or upset with me. That doesn't make me want to talking about this. I only don't want people to like me. That I if you don't like me, it's fine. But if you don't like me and you have a way, if you're a narcissist or a sociopath or like bordering on that, I desperately need you to like me because I'm scared of what you could do. And that's that's okay. I do believe it's okay to lie in order to protect yourself from narcissists and sociopaths and to get them to either be neutral about you or like you, because on the other side of that, you are they are detrimental to your whole life. Because they are, they will hurt you. It sergy. It doesn't matter because you can't hurt them. You'll never be able to hurt them. No, but it hurts me in the sense of like I'm even thinking about them. Why because they are dangerous. They're dangerous people. But there are the actual dangerous I'm talking about, even even comedians who are narcissists. They can spread lies about you and create people are so scared of them, and they have such power like they do over you that they could ruin your life without you knowing it. So you're not stupid to get these people to like you. And I just reached this conclusion yesterday or this morning when I was in the first part of the job. I guess I feel like, if I could get them to like me doing the least amount possible, if I'm like doing it, I'm like, if you can be invisible to this person, choose that. Don't try to get them to like you, because then them being aware of you is dangerous as is. But if they are aware of you, try to get them to like you. Let's take a quick break and come back with why do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care? Why do you care? Yeah? Why do I care? Okay? Pete Davidson smokes weed on the red carpet at the premiere of The Freak Brothers in l A. According to the show's description to eight episodes, series chronicles the escapades of a trio of stoner anti establishment characters and their cad who wake up from a fifty year nap after smoking a magical strain of weed in nineteen nine and must adjust to life with a new family in present day San Francisco. Okay, I just tuned out of that description. But um, he smoked weed on the red carpet. Yeah all right, Um, you know, I don't think he should be smoking weed because he has bipolar and I think it's bad for people with psychiatric um disorders, such as myself. Um, I'm not. I don't think weed is good. I don't judge you if you need it. I needed it for a really long time. He probably just needs it. But I hope that he gets up to a point where he doesn't because I don't think it serves people with There's something about weed. I don't know. It's just care to me in a way, like like Seth Rogan's like known for weed, and like just to be known for something you're like a forty year old, like to be known for smoking weed. It's just so to me. I know what it is, and like it helps a lot of people and and it makes it more um less taboo. But yes, but there's something about like giving someone like a coolness factor to be like, dude, that guy didn't give a fuck. Weed is not cool. Um, it is very helpful to people that have anxiety and depression and just need to get by. I mean when I quit three months ago, three and a half months ago, and um, and it was you know, I've quit several times in my life, but I really feel like more done than ever. And um, when I did it, I needed it and there's nothing wrong with it. So I don't judge anyone who smokes currently, And I feel like that's my best advice to anyone who smokes and has a little bit of shame about it, drop it just you need you need weed, like, don't be ashamed, don't hide about it, don't try to excuse it away or you know, sneak off to do it. Just do it because you fucking need to. And you know what, if that's what's making you not kill yourself or not cut yourself or not hit your dog or fucking hate yourself in a way that makes is going to bring more harm to the world, It's the least harmful thing you can do because you can't cope fucking do it all you want and the and the second that you know you, I truly believe that the only way to overcome addictions or things that you someday go I like to not smoke weed. That was always my point of view is like, I'd like to not have a needing disorder that rules my life. I'd like to not smoke weed. I'd like to not drink. These are all goals of mine. And I wish someone would have told me sooner that you can have freedom from those things as soon as you accept that you just need them right now. You need them when you need them. And because so much of needing those things, you need them because you have so much shame about already needing them. So the shame you have about doing it already is going to cause you to do it more. The shame I had over binging or starving would make me have anxiety and feel terrible about myself, and then I would need to starve and binge to to quell that anxiety. The anxiety I had over sneaking weed and being high and being such a loser. Why do you need weed to like go, you're doing, you know, fallon? Why would you smoke weed before that? Nikki? You're you're throwing your life away, You're you're squandering this opportunity. The sooner I got to the place, and it took me a minute, but as soon as I got to the place of like when I would pick up that bowl and I first thing in the morning or whatever it was, I you know, no, I wasn't at this point in my life when I was smoking from apples, I was still shameful about it. But when I got back home after came in and I was needing weed all summer long and feeling to the point where I was like really shamed about it, it only was about three weeks of just going, you need it, but it's just have it, fucking you get this because instead of this, what would it be. It would be crying in bed all day and not being able to function. That's worse than this weed. It would be drinking. It would be I'm I need this and that's okay. And then as soon as I was able to do that, I didn't need it anymore. There is something to this shame that you were talking about, which is like what comes first to shame or or you smoking weed? Like it reminds me of like my mom when she would smoke cigarettes, but she wouldn't smoke in front of us. She'd go to the bathroom in a restaurant to smoke because she was because of how we would maybe judge her how she perceived we judged her, and we probably did judge her because we wanted her to live and we fucking hated cigarettes. But that feeling of like having to sneak off it needs it means that you're going to have its anxiety. Then you need to have anxiety feels so uncomfortable that you need to make it go away. And what do you choose? Something that makes you feel good instantly? Cigarettes, So it's like it makes more cigarettes. When you were like with your weed stuff, like when you were eventually like honest with everyone, like you know, even some people that you thought maybe you didn't want to know going in my room alone or going on on the balcony when I would just do it in front of people, or go, hey, I wouldn't want to like you know, make it stinky in the room, so I go, I'm gonna go smoke weed. I'd have to tell people I was doing it as soon as I got really honest. And also just you guys can judge me, but I don't judge myself anymore for this. I need this, and I know that instead of if I didn't do this, something worse would happen for now. That's the truth, and this is the best. This is the best thing I can do right now for myself, and it's all I have, So that's okay. And then when you're just nicer to yourself about that, that's when you're able to give it away or give it up, or it just becomes so much easier to give it up. And I wish, I wish I would have known that earlier. So I try to spread that message as much as possible. Whatever shameful act you're doing, as soon as you start going, it's okay that I'm doing this. I just need to do this. I don't have an option. I just it's all I can do right now because I'm in pain. You will be able to let go of that thing a lot easier, unless you're going into a burning building as a firefighter. Then just get loaded hammered. Yeah, let's get to Reddit dump. This is your red dump, all right. It's the weekly uh dump of Reddit things that I found that I liked. Let me see what I got this week for us. Oh okay, this was a good one. This was on white people Twitter, the subreddit. Just see that picture of that stupid, fucking Republicans family all posing with guns around the Christmas tree in the in the wake of the fucking Michigan school shooting, where the parents knew that the guy had a gun and they even texted him don't do it because they obviously knew. It's just disgusting anyway, UM, someone had um posted a picture of that family and then next to it was a picture of like the it it looks to me to be the Taliban with a bunch of guns. You know, when they all pose with guns like you know it'll be it'll be like a picture of this, and he put a side of aside. He goes weird. This is from um the Twitter account our school. E weird How when we see gun group shots from other countries we don't think, look at all that awesome freedom and that interesting. This one made me laugh out loud. This was from the subret to me I r L for me I r L, I don't know what. Well, let me see what the subret. It says for relatable posts that are too real for me r i L or me underscore I r L, meaning jokes, posts about mental health issues and self deprecating humor. Okay, so it's this little kid and he's at a bar. He's not. He's like, it's a uh, a super imposed image of a little boy scratching his head looking like uncomfortable kind of and it's super imposed upon a picture of a bar, and it says, damn, I kind of want to leave. And then it just the meme says me as soon as I get anywhere, and it just the kid's face just made me laugh. Damn, I kind of want to like whenever you get anywhere, like as soon as just being like, I don't like this. And that's the feeling you get when you stopped drinking and you go to places that used to drink. It. You just go because that's the thing. Like alcohol makes those things tolerable. It doesn't make them fun. It just makes you stupider. So you think this thing that isn't fun is fun. People that have mental brained, you know, mental handicaps, are happy with like you give them a box and they're like, wow, I like it. That doesn't mean the box is inherently fun. They're just dumber than you. So like when you go to a bar after you don't drink, it's just not fun anymore. And that was the freedom of not drinking, was like, oh, man, like things that I thought were fun, we're not fun. I was just drunk, Like, Oh, I'm gonna miss going to bar so much. No I won't. I won't miss it because it was never fun. And there are some things that you did when you're drunk that are still fun once you get or like hit your kids. Yeah, that's what I call them. Um. This is from Comedy Heaven and this is um. These are jokes that are so bad. It's ascended so Comedy Heaven like jokes that are so bad or just so cringe. And this is Neil de grass Tyson. I sent you this or a meal a meal shows you this. This is from Neil de grass Tyson. So over the course of so many years, yes this is ten years. On Twitter, Neil deGrasse Tyson has tried to make this joke five different times on Twitter. First time was February another thought to disturb reastful slumber, especially if you are vain in a mirror, you can kiss only yourself on the lips. It got a hundred retweets August two thousand eleven. This is a year and a half later. For narcissists only laws of reflection require that if you kiss yourself in a mirror, it will always be on the lips. July twelve, two thirteen, So that got seven fourteen retweets. En two years later justin f y I in a mirror, you can only kiss yourself on the lips two five thousand retweets. Thou six years, six years later, two thousand or this is December two thousand nineteen. You can kiss yourself in the mirror, but only on the lips retweets and now currently December one, two years after the fourth attempt at this joke. This is now his fifth attempt in a mirror you can kiss yourself only on the lips four point eight thousand retweets. So he peaked in two thousand nineteen, which I would say Niel de gross Tyson's popularity also peaked in two thousand nineteen. Um, it's just so embarrassing. I love I love that he changed up the wording like he knew, he knew he wrote it before. I've done that before with jokes. You've got repost a joke. There's no shame in that. But five times they're shape. Yeah. Also, I made out and a lot on the mirror. Did Yeah, my mom caught me because she saw lip and tongue marks on the mirror. Wait, what were you doing that to practice? Or did you just love yourself? It's the only way I could come nick, No, no, yeah, it was just practice. I was practicing a pillow too. Uh did I like pillow? Let's make out with a pillow? Or like I think I've I've kissed my own arm, like practiced like you were practicing or like were you just trying to feel love? I mean not no, No, I wasn't like turned on by, but I was practiced. Sometimes I do that with myself, Like I'll rub my arm just like gently, just to be like like nurturing to myself because I just need human touch. Like the other day when I was crying in the fucking airport, I wanted someone to hug me so bad. I just wanted someone to see me looking sad and going like do you need a hug? And just I would have stopped if someone would have done that, I would have just grabbed them so tight it would have been crazy. But do you need a kiss? Do you need to do you what? I? Oh my god, last night, Poppy, though, I got human affection from my niece. Oh, it was so great. She loves me so much now and she just loves to like climb on me and just like hug me and like I And last night she was doing this thing where she kept putting her pacifier in my mouth and then she would bite the She thought it was so funny that I was sucking on this past fire because no adult would do that. It was like on the floor and like had baby spit on it. But I was just like I'll do anything to make this kid laugh. So I was going like I'm a baby. And then she kept biting it and it looks like we were making and I was looking at my sister like I'm not doing this like this is and she kept taking out and going ha ha, and then she I would take it out and be like I'm done. Then she put it back in my mouth and just bite the other side of it, so it looked like we were just making out. And I kept looking at with this like I'm I promise you I don't she likes this is this Okay, I kind of like it because it's a kiss in a way, but we're not actually touching lips and like you're turning into your dad. It was so sweet though. She's so cute. Did she say, hey, babe, babe that in a while? Oh my god, yeah, your Poppy. I forgot when I was I was singing some song and I was putting her name in it. It's so funny when you see kids get humor and get I remember what you not on the farm? Ei, No, not, they she liked, Oh yeah, it's awesome. She's just like I'm she is so cute, cute. Oh my god. Last night we were dancing. I posted on my Instagram. It is the cutest little video. Arlow is freaking out because we're doing the just dance thing, you know, and he and his dad were dancing, and then Poppy started dancing and he, you know, as a four year old would do. I got really upset that she was dancing in his dance, you know, and so he started screaming, crying and like writhing on the floor, being like, what Poppy to dance? And my sister, you can hear my sister. I just want to play it because you can hear my sister say, I thought there was a dildo on the ground, some purple Oh no, that's a phone. But it does look like a little clit sucker thing. That's Harlow. It's okay, you do you? And then Poppy then goes to start like twerking on the floor. You gotta go watch. It's so cute. She's standing there so sad because Arlow told stop, and my sister goes it's o ka, Poppy, you do you? And then she just drops the floor and starts to working in sound cute vital thought. Um, let me just see. There's one more thing I wanted to read from here. Um. This is from made Me Smile this Upreddit and the person said I'd love to see a movie based on this. I disagree, but this is a good tweet. This is from s Wolf Underscore V S v I S. Twelve years ago. I talked to a stranger at a bar for over three hours. He said goodbye and nothing more. When I left in the parking lot, I got angry. I stormed back in and yelled at him for not asking for my phone number. We're married now. That girl's a masculine energy faux show. Yeah that's a that's a strong move, but you know what, I that's all it takes. Sometimes if you feel if you felt something, go for it. And if you're the type of person that that's a thing that is within your ability to do, don't squash that part of your personality to get this man, even though you know, I've only done like something like that once, I think in my life. I remember I went out to dinner and the hostess was really pretty, and I was like twenty two or something or whatever. I was just getting back from college, and I felt like she was checking me out when I was eating with my dad, and I called the restaurant when I got home, and I go as the brown hair girl like whatever and like and we connected and then we ended up going on dates like through that, but like I didn't know her name or any I just called the restaurant to be like it's a strong move. I've done it before. I've left guys like I've given my number to guys that I'm like, you're cute and just been bold like that. And you know what, if they don't, if they're not the type of guy that is going to respond to that kind of female aggressive aggressive energy aggressive being in quotes like not actually aggressive, but like you know, taking charge, um, then then they're not for you. My friends would do that a lot to leave a number for the girl. It's a great move because it protects you from getting rejected. Right there, that's the move that my friend Andy Lee. Yeah, he puts the onus on the girl to call. Yeah, and you don't feel the rejection if she never calls, because you already forgot about Italy. A couple of people, my friend Andy Lee, he's uh of Hamish and Andy in Australia. One of my favorite Just YouTube any Hamish and Andy clip and you'll have the best time of your life. It's it's a great thing to put on on YouTube. And a lot of Americans don't know about Hamish and Andy. But Andy Lee of Hamish and Andy. He um used to have this pickup technique where he would give he would write his email address on a piece of paper and go up to a girl and say here, UM, if you if you ever ever want to get a drink or something, UM, email me. I feel like because a phone number is so aggressive that it's it's just very intimate. And this is before Instagram, by the way, this before d m NG. But here's my email, So maybe now you do your Instagram right on a piece of paper and go um, and if I don't hear from you, I'll convince myself you lost this piece of paper. And if I do, it's great. So either way I'm good. And literally say that to her, say and it's a cute thing to say, and it's it really does save your save you face. He's like, I already filled out the subject for you. But if a guy said that to me, it was like, if you don't write me, I'll just convince myself be lost like I would be. So I would be so tickled. What's the good pickup line we heard the other day? It was someone gave it to us. Emil was there and I was like, oh my god, Emil, you gotta do that. It was such a good one. Good damn it. I didn't hear. I don't know. Can I call him real quick to ask, because I just I want to share it with the best pickup line? I don't know. I just feel like they're so cheesy. Who gave us that? It was someone at a show? Are you tired from running around in my mind all day? It was another thing of like giving a number and being so oh it was Seth seth um seth her dog. Oh, he did the greatest thing. Okay, I know it now. Yo, Hey you're on my podcast. Hey, I was trying to remember what recently I had. We're talking about pickup lines, and I had remembered that someone gave us a really good one. And I looked at you and was like, remember that a meal and I couldn't forget remember who it was. But as the phone was ringing, I remembered it was Seth Herzog. Do you remember it? Shit? Then yeah, wait, I'll remind you. I remember it. I just didn't want to hang up on you. So it was UM and you should use it. So if you get a girl's number or uh, you know, if you get a girl's number, you um, yeah, you have to get her number. Okay, well that's a good point. Well I actually have advice. I just gave it on the podcast. But you you give a girl your email address, and this is this is advice that was given before d m NG, but A numbers a little aggressive. You can give your girl your email address or you know Instagram and say um or Lindon and you can say, uh, here, um, reach out to me. If you ever want to get a drink or you know, go out, um, and if you don't, if I don't hear from you, I'm just gonna convince myself you lost it. Um, So I'm gonna win either. And that's a cute little line. But what Seth Seth, what Seth Herzog said to do is if you get a girl's number, text her right away as soon as you leave and say, hey, it's Seth. Um. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the guy like literally seconds after you get it, say something that that, like, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm this guy that you met. It's just a cute thing that would make and it's funny, like you got to do it right away for it to work. Yes, right away, you can't even do yes, Yes, I'm the guy in the red shirt that was you might remember me. We had that conversation about like just say it like you're writing it five years talking to your energy. I think you know. So they're not like is this guy crazy? Like who would think I forgot him? You know what I mean? You hope, like hopefully she's like, oh yeah, he's like funny like that, you know, yes, wait a meal, do you when you see exclamation marks and text messages from people. Do you take that as they're mad at you sometimes are screaming or is it always a sign that like things are good and they're nice. Um? Yeah, most of the time things are good and things are nice. Like multiple exclamation points, I'm like, okay, good Like I have like multiple It actually puts me at ease. Multiple in one shot like two and like for one that's always like your this is too much. But if it's multiple within you know, and eat like a whole message of like thank you exclamation mark, see you next time exclamation mark, that's okay. Oh no, Yeah, I'm crazy though. And I think if if there's like three in a row like thank you, like five after that, I go, uh, I read it thank you. It's a passively like nice. Oh. I think they're Christian. I think they're just like like, oh like their Southern. All Right, we have to go, Emil. I'll call you later. Thank you, bye with excavation marks by by Boy. Alright, guys, thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. We're gonna be back tomorrow. Are you okay? Are you meditating? What's going on over there? Look at really? What Jack? You're Jack, oh, I was like, oh, you're thinking about like your drama Luigi. He consents. When the podcast is over look at his little head shoot up, he gets the tone of like, alright, guys, don't be and Jack wait wait wait wait wait okay Jack co