Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am Hi, guys, Welcome to Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Tuesday's episode. I'm so sorry that I wasn't around yesterday for an episode. You know, technical errors. I brought the wrong equipment to um l A and uh, I'm I'm in Los Angeles right now, and I grabbed what I thought was all the right equipment to make this happen, and it turned out I was missing a vital piece of the puzzle that makes this podcast sound good. And yeah, we just I just went back to bed instead. We got up and I texted Noah and texted I said a text message. I text messaged Noah and Andrew to be like, I forgot the I forgot the piece. I just packed so hastily and just in such a rush that sometimes my way of life it doesn't work out for me a lot of times it does. Like I feel like the way that I I don't spend like five hours packing for a trip like some people I know, And I'm saying that with disdain, but it's more like disdain for myself that I'm not as like organized. But I think some people spend like all day packing for a trip, and it's like why just takes like just throw some stuff in a suitcase. Like I know people that are like, I have to pack for this trip and they are like it's like they go, I gotta go home. I'm I'm leaving town on Monday, and I'm like it's Thursday. They're like, I have to start packing for this this trip, and I'm like, what do you need to do? Just put clothes in a thing and shut it. I know people know who buy new things for their trip. Um, we'll go shopping for clothes to where on the trip. Yeah, I mean that's I think that's what people do because on vacation, you're like a better version of the person you are outside of vacations, So you have to like, you know, you're gonna take a lot of pictures. You're gonna maybe see people that you don't normally see, so it has to be like you're just you know, you have to present this like better version of yourself. And it's fun to have like fresh vacation clothes for like a different climate. I think that's a lot of it. Um, yeah, I just don't understand just taking all like some people just are slower and I wish I were sometimes because things like this happen. But I also get a lot more done, I think, because I do pack like a banshee before leaving. Like I was just running around the house and our flight was at it was at ten. Yeah, it was early. It was like nine o'clock, and so I had to get into an uber I said seven thirty. But that leaves me time to be late. So I just to be at the airport's forty five minutes. I check my bag forty five minutes before a flight because that's the cut off time for checking a bag, and if you miss that, you can't get on the flight because you've got to check a bag. So I always have to be there forty five minutes before, and I usually leave myself ten minutes of wiggle rooms. So I try to get there fifty five minutes before because I have status at all the airlines, so I can just get in the quick line, and if andrews with me, he can ask the person in front of me, like, hey, can we get in front. But like I never am. It's rare that I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna like not make this flight. So but I always just wait to pack, Like I'm serious. If I'm leaving at seven thirty, so like my goal is seven thirty, that's really not gonna happen. It takes twenty minutes to get to the airport. That leaves me ten minute window before I have to um or no, it leaves me a twenty five minute window before my bags before I would miss my flight, which is a good window. And um, I probably start packing at let's see, I'm leaving at seven thirty. I wake up at six fifteen, and then I eat breakfast and that I'm just like I don't want to go pack, and then I probably start packing at like six and I'm just really dawdling because like I'm just like slow and it's the morning, and then I start looking at the clock and it's like seven o'clock and then I'm like, okay, a half hour, like that's fine. And then you start getting into toilet trees and that's where it slows me down and then um, and then it's the little things. It's just all like the chargers, Oh ship, I gotta bring my podcasting equipment and I did bring the right equipment. Is just max make chart like make their little ports systems differently, so that you have to buy all these attachments. I think that's the thing. You have to buy new chargers, and so I got screwed. And but I don't know that I would have picked the right one. Even if I packed the night before, I think I would have done the same thing. I have to say, I'm proud of you because you did something yesterday that I don't think you've done before. While I was working with you, you said, you said, you know what, I wouldn't mind taking the time off because we were talking about PEP going to get the cable. We're gonna do this whole work around. It was such a gift. Um, So I really appreciate the fans and uh and I heart and everyone allowing me to not have a podcast yesterday. It was freaking awesome. Um, even though you know, if I'm looking at my day, it would have been the one thing I would have liked to keep doing instead of all the other stuff I did. But I had to go get my hair done and that takes three hours and cost six hundred dollars. And I didn't even get a cut, no, just just a color. Three hours, six dollars, and that is before tip. It was five fifty before tip, and then I think I tipped, So what is that? I don't even want to do the math um? So uh yeah, I got my hair done. Feel accomplished about that, even though I'm having a little bit of stress about losing hair again, Like I don't know. Whenever I get my hair done, they do such a good job of blow drying it that it just feels so thin, Like it feels so straight and thin. It doesn't have any kind of like messiness to it that it just feels like a little Willie Nelson ponytail, Like its just the ponytail. My ponytail is just so sad and like a little biker dude, like sticking out of a helmet. I just I'm having a little bit of air anxiety. But I realized, like someone asked me yesterday, like do you register as tired? Ever? Like how does it register for you? Like what does that even feel like to you? And I was thinking that it doesn't really have I mean, I know right now I'm a little bit like good good because I haven't had caffeine. But that's that's me uncaffeinated. I'm not necessarily like I could go back to sleep right now, which I'm listening to this podcast about sleep that you know that guy that wrote um the Sleep book that everyone was talking about last year. I forget what it's called Why We Sleep? Yeah he did. He did a podcast with Sam Harris that I've been listening to. It's four hours long, but I have been crawling through it because it's packed with such great information and they say, like, yes, he says that. You know, people always asked me, how do you know if you're not getting good enough sleep? And it's the answer is if your alarm goes off and you could keep sleeping, that means you're not sleeping enough, like plain and simple. So I'm always tired if that's the answer. But who isn't I mean, who gets up? And it's like I think Kursen is the only person I know who gets up, And it's like I'm ready to get up. And my dad like they both just like like wake up naturally and like love. Like even if Carson had the ability to sleep, and she wouldn't need too because she like goes to bed at the right time and wakes up, it's just so admirable. I am Okay, it's yawned. Sorry, if that if you yawned with me, that means you're empathetic. But um, my dad told me recently that, well, I know that when dogs youn, it's not because they're tired, it's because they're happy and like excited, which is that's what I read from a Caesar Milan book. Oh my god, my cup matches, my wall matches my mic Oh my cankers are also back, and that always is a sign of life being a little bit more difficult. It really does put it like an overall damper on things when you have chronic mouth pain. Um, and I do, like, that's your your work. You use your mouth for work. Yeah, yes, so it's been painful. But um, I'm I'm getting ahead of them, so they're not going to get as bad as last time, I don't think, but they It does scare me. And it's just like a symptom of being tired and stressed. And I have to do that mantra Carlos gave me. I create joyful experiences for my loving world. I create joyful experiences for my loving world. I really do. But um, but my, but my friend asked me, how does tiredness register for you? Like, how do you know when you're tired. I know when babies are tired because they rub their eyes, you know, Like that's a sign that the babies or they get cranky. I think that's how I know. I just get I get depressed. I think I just I think my my energy reserves. Like the first thing my body does when it has energy is fight against my like low self esteem. Like it creates like a barrier of like that's the that's what I save all my energy to do. Is like even if I have a little bit, it's still like keeping me afloat of like you're good enough, and like I use that that's always like my baseline energy. So when I saptive energy, then I start using that energy that is being used to make me not depressed. And that's when I start Does that make sense? Like when I was antorexic, I started getting depressed Because the last place your goot body goes to for fat before it takes every other piece of fat is your brain. And so then your brain starts eating it. You start like eating your brain because there's fat in your brain. But obviously that's not the first place a body is gonna drain fat from. So like I think my last line of defense for energy is like not worrying about what my body looks like, not worrying about my hair, not worrying about other people or like. And then when I get tired, I start to just get like really sad, and I think that's I need to start. It was an interesting question because I hadn't thought about it, like, oh, what does tiredness to me feel like? I know it feels like, oh I want to bed, but what is it? I don't even know what that is? Um, what does tired just look like for you? For me, I get like brain fog, Like it's feels like inside of my skull is empty. Yes, no matter how much I searched for it, I just can't find a brain in there. Yes, that's it too. But that's interesting because when I get brain fog, I just think I'm stupid. I don't think I'm tired. I just think you're not funny. You never were. You don't deserve to be a comedian because a lot of times that happens to me when I'm working, you know, and I'm expected to be funny or entertaining, and I'm just so boring and can't think of anything and I just go to You're this is who you really are. You're like not funny, but it's just that's tiredness. Kersen said it on a group chat the other day of like like Nikki like brain like feeling dumb and feeling like not funny is like when she said something like when I'm tired, when she's tired, like her brain is just like du and I'm just like I did never think I never connected those things. It's so weird to be thirty seven and still learning like basic things about your body that like I was took it as like I'm dumb. I I like, that's who I really am and like and because I am so because my defenses are down for having like any because I'm dumb. I can't even reason that that is tired as I'm like, it's because I'm dumb, Like dumbness makes you think you're dumb? Does that make sense? Like instead of it's like, oh, I'm smart enough to know that this is tiredness, I'm too dumb to even know it. I don't know. I think it's um maybe self awareness. But it is interesting because I was just thinking about it this morning and I was reminding myself of what joy feels like, because you know, like I think something so important that I learned, um, is that our bodies have physical responses to our emotions and it's important to see Like what like if if you can just recognize what happens to your body when you're mad, when you're happy, when you're tired, you'll you'll get a better or understanding of yourself. Yes, about how your physical body feels. Checking in with your body when you feel those feelings. Um, yes, yeah, I feel like I'm so muted with my whole body. Like I never remember going to a somatic like therapist and she would be like, so, where what are you feeling right now? Like where is it in your body? And I was just like I don't even know what that means. I would just like make up. I'd be like my foot, I don't know, like because my body and would be hurting or something. I mean, I guess that's an answer, but like I never connect, Like right now, I really go for it, do it tired? And like I'm trying to think of where I'm feeling this tiredness. It's in my brain. Think about the the meditations that Sam Harris teaches and he also was was very helpful in teaching me that. And He's like, when you close your eyes, focus on the breathing, and that could be anywhere. For me, it was the tip of my nostrils, but it could be in your elbow, it could be your belly. Yeah, like wherever that is for you. Yeah, so it's if you if you can relate it to that, you might be able to help yourself out. Yeah. I'm just like what right now, even as we're talking, I'm like trying to figure out where I can nap today because my body is crying for like I'm a big morning nap person, and because I haven't a coffee yet because I'm saying it has airbnb that just has a coffee maker, but it doesn't. I forgot to get almond milk and I just don't want black coffee. I should just do it. But um maybe when I bring in Andrew, Well, Um, I am just my brain is trying to figure out when I can get a nap in. So I'm like, Okay, the people with cameras that follow me around, they're coming to here in like a half hour. Then we're supposed to start. Like I'm just like where can I maybe they can film me sleeping. I'm like, maybe we'll do a scene wearing nap. That's when I started negotiating. I'm just like, where am I gonna get it? This is why I don't have kids, because I will be a nappy mom like I will be, And I just get so scared that they're going to be like Mom's depressed, because like, I just want to nap sometimes I want. My best naps are when I have an hour and fifteen minutes. That's like a good nap. It'll take me like five minutes to get to sleep, and then that's a good one ten hour nap. Um. I haven't gotten to the part of the podcast where it talks about napping and like how what's the best way to do it and stuff, But I do know that once you are in that deep sleep, waking up out of that that can be torturous. So the best naps are twenty minutes. That's like what's been proven. Uh do you nap? Noah? Sometimes I do. Sometimes we'll do like a like a family cat nap because Buzzy, my cat, he always has like a certain time of day from like two to five thirty. He's like the sleepiest guy and it's just so much fun to just take a nap him. That's so cute. Oh my god, I want one today so bad. I don't know that I'm going to get it. A cat, A cat now. I like the idea of having a cat. I'm like, I that's just too much work. Like it's moments like these that I'm so tired and overwork that I'm like, no kids, no dogs, no more pets, no more responsibilities, no more jobs, no more things. Um, I like, And I've I've lost a lot of sleep when I'm going to bed recently because I've been like binging Taylor swift stuff because it's a very it's a very um important time right now in a Swifties life. The rerelease of Red came out, and I haven't put out a podcast since that's happened. Andrew has a lot of story about it that I'm I cannot wait to get your take on the White House thing. Nope, Well, I'm just I'm gonna try to guess. I won't try to guess. I mean, Jake, Jill and all stuff. Is it the scarf that they've located it close that Dione Warwick said that Jake Jillan Hall should give it back. There's a lot of stuff. I mean, like she is all over the news right now. Um, yeah, it's I mean, I am so into this her SNL performance. Did you see it? Noah? It was so good And I'm sure that anyone that's not a huge fan is like, boy, this was long, but to me it was like a perfect I could have gone longer. And she's just so cool and she was just so I just keep watching it. They're just moments that I just can't get over of her looking into the camera and just she seems so angry and so um it's just like, you know, I don't want to stay angry, but yeah, there's moments where you can tell she's still in it. I just wonder like how her X or how her boyfriend is handling her re visiting all these feelings about an X, because I feel like, oh, it feels very raw to me. How um the feeling she's accessing. And of course she's like a performer, so she's not like mad at s l L about Jake Gillen Hall. I've doubt that that's like she's actually mad, but she was able to sub in the same kind of like spite that she still has for him in that song. And the new lyrics are um so good, the new verses. I just didn't know what to expect from my favorite song All Too Well, having you know, five verse new verses in it, Like what would that would feel like? But it feels like a whole other song to me, And um, yeah, I performed All Too Well at um, a charity that like a fundraiser for the Wisconsin Democrats the other night that Benley, my friend put on in his house and it was broadcast and I, um, I didn't feel like doing comedy and I just wanted to sing Taylor Swift and I had just really like it was on Sunday. So it was just after that SML performance that I could not stop watching, and um, it was so fun to perform. And I the thing I do when I perform, though, is I start to increase the tempo so fast because I'm so worried everyone hates what I'm doing, so I just want to get it done quick. Because also that song is super longed. I didn't do the ten minute version one. I just did the five minute version one, but I probably made it two and a half minutes because I was so aware that everyone hates me. And I think that's why I talk fast on stage and in life, is because I know I'm so scared of how boring I might be that I don't want people to have to suffer that long. It's all a defense mechanism. Like everything I do, I realize is because yesterday someone was asking me, like, why do you wait till the last second to get pick out an outfit for the stage? Why do you wait till the last second before you pack? And it's because I don't want to When if I have free time that's filled with nothing I need, I'll i'll want to be unconscious for it, like I don't when I have free time, I'm in bed and trying to be unconscious because if I'm just awake, then I feel guilty that I'm not working on something I should be. There's never free time. That's like, I don't feel guilty except in the air when I'm flying. For some reason, I can just read a book and stuff. It feels like, oh, I don't need to get things done, even though yesterday or the other day I was yesterday. Two days ago, I was flying from New York to l a and there was a girl next to me on the flight and she was dressed so cute, and she had so much hair, and she was like on her laptop the entire time, like writing, and I was just like so jealous and like so annoyed, and I'm just listening to my white noise. That's like, and I have a sleep I'm using a tank top as a sleep mask. I look insane and curled up in a ball. And she's just like casually typing away, sipping on her Seltzer and I'm just like farting and using a scarf as a blanket, and like I have my shoes off and I'm putting up. I put a sawny bottle between my toes because my bunians were hurting and I needed, like I'm I was a nightmare. And this girl was just like tick tick tick. I'm Sarahista Parker, you know, Sex in the City, on her laptop writing a story. And I was so and she kept every time I woke up, I would look over and she was still typing. It was like, we get it. You have your life together, bitch. Um, Let's bring Andrew in here. Andrew, Hey, Andrew literally out of breath from a computer. Yeah, a lot of technical issues, like literally, I mean it's just I don't know. Yeah, we don't have to get into the specifics of C plus plus you know how I do when I start talking about computer. Yeah, I mean you are wearing I bet it's seventy three degrees in that apartment and you are wearing a sweater and undershirt and pants and drinking a hot coffee. Could that be why you're sweating too? I mean there's a combination of things, but uh, I think it's more to micro chips inside the radiator in there, yes, of the computer. Do you keep it a little bit hotter in that apartment? Like is it nice today? While gone, Well, I keep it at seventy I mean it's been chili here. So you know, there's that game of should I even use y a C or should I use real life? You know? But but yeah, no, we keep it around seventy. I was like, I'm reading this um alright. I was listening to that podcast about sleep and it says that UM, at night, to have good sleep, you need to be cold, like your body temperature needs to be cold at night. And then you know a lot of people use lights in the morning to like wake them up, like they have those alarm clocks that like the light turns brighter and then just just to wake up like it's the sun. But they found that people that don't use alarm clocks that live and sleep outside, you know, like indigenous peoples of the you know, people that live outside. Still, they've studied them, and they sleep past when the sun comes up. It has nothing to do with the sun. It's with the when it gets warm and so warmth wakes you up. So you're supposed to coldness puts you to sleep, and warmth wakes you up. So I mean to have it cold at night, Yes, I mean I would, I agree with you. I look, I give you the wind. However, there's been advancements where we could keep it warm and we don't even have to wake up because the saber tooth tiger isn't trying to eat us. Still our bodies like uh, still our reacting to the ways that we were, you know, meant to be. But it's it was interesting to hear that, like it is because everyone always thinks that has something to do with like the sun, but it or the light, which it doesn't. It's just the warmth of the fucking rooster. The rooster that crows. Everyone's like, that's what time you wake up to get the farm going, whatever the rooster wants. It's like, fuck you, rooster, You're not in charge of me. Uh you are? You? Are you calmed down? You're at Yeah, I'm better now. I'm still sweaty, still sweaty, um, I going. I'm good man. Things are great. Brenna's here, she's been here the last couple of days. We've had a really really good time, like just chilling, just fun, just fun time. When looked at different places and we uh, I don't know, just like when they apartments, Yeah, apartments. We're looking at different apartments, but very close by. I'm gonna be able to still throw rocks and Nikki, is that how the phrase is? Yeah, away tear a gunshot away building. I did, but I think we're gonna um, that's too close of a rock. I think. I think Clayton, I really really like and There and the Moon. It's like it's hard to do tomund It's hard to decide whether you want like a nice rustic place with more room, but you might have trouble with hot water or you might have, you know, just like little things as opposed to like a building like we're in currently, but there are a couple of buildings and Clayton where like, you know, it's like the New Age, Like it feels like a swanky hotel because it was at one point. No, there's a place called the two twelve and Clayton on the park um and it's just like it's fancy smancy, but it's it's you know, it's not that expensive. And uh and I don't know. I like Clayton a lot. It's a little bit more relaxed, even than clay You don't say Clayton Clayton clay like when you live in clean you know, it just it just rolls off the tongue down there. I did I hit some balls. I think we're gonna go play today. I think she might ride in the car. I always get worried that she won't be entertained enough to just ride. And would you want to ride in a cart while a guy plays golf. I could always be on my phone. Yeah it's true, and you're outside, Like, can't she just be? She could probably entertain herself alone. And as towns she used to live in, Like, I understand you want to spend time together, but like that's what I always like kind of butt up against when I'm on vacation with people. It's like or like seeing someone that you haven't seen a while, or visiting someone like you've spend every waking second with them, just because it's like, I still require alone time even when I have a three day like visit with someone, Like, oh, I feel like now, as an adult, I'm entitled to be like it's okay that I want to go spend some alone time even though I see this person once a year and this is the only time we get to spend together, you know what I mean. But I think it's hard sometimes to do that. It is, and I think it would be fun. We did that yesterday. She did it. She had a job interview, and I went and hit golf balls against I got some alone time with a new employer. She couldn't that job interview. I think I would have ruined it. It's for um, like a spa facial place, and they probably look at my pores and be like, if you can't handle your own house, don't you handle he's do you heads? Which one asked Tashi, come on, try Itesetician right, Yeah, there you go. I couldn't spell it. You have so many blackheads. I don't know my skin. It's I don't really focus on it, you know, it's not it seems like you are focusing on it. I've never noticed you having blackheads. Who gets that close up to you except your lover, you know, like, who gets that close to me would see your black heads? I guess Luigi da does. I don't know. I just never see people's pores unless they're like really capers. Yeah, and do you like popping video? You do? Yeah? I don't want to. I don't like like wet pops. No, I don't. I'm not one of those girls that wants to like pop boyfriends pimples. But I know there's lots of girls out there that like to do that. I wish I were, because pimples are so much more prevalent than warts. But and and they're like that's almost acceptable now to be like, oh, it's cute when you guys when you like, you know, pick at each other's skin, But like, you know, when you take into your boyfriend's like I want to. I would love a boyfriend with planners warts, but it's hard to find. It's hard to find a good man with a virus taking over his foot. You like a dry wart, like I like a dry jerk. I don't even like videos of warts where it starts like bleed, even though that's that's when you know you got the you're down to the part where you can start treating it. Man, I still even think about the one that was on your fingers, And sometimes I look at your thumb and I'm like, God, damn it, can I will it back, just like can pick at it. I wanted to get into that thing so bad. I just never saw one so like blatantly. Like I used to have one on my thumb too, and I miss it so much. Sometimes I'm just like, please come back. I used to like wrap, so it was right here on my thumb, like on the edge of my thumb, and I used to um, I wanted to torture it. So I used to wrap my hair thing like you know, the little black hair thing that you used to type your hair. I used to wrap it around. It's so tight that it would like cut off its circulation. It would like torture it, like I just I don't know why I want to torture things. You you treat your own finger like it's in Guantanamo, would be like it was over and over for hours and hours. I just I'll tell you everything. Man, I don't tell you everything. I'll tell you I never I just want to like cut into it and like like Curson was the same way we used to torture bug bites by making exces in them with our with her thumbnail and like just making it suffer. She would put a curling iron on her bug bite, which is that's next level. But I do have some um like I don't know if anyone else gets this, but like my I'm starting to get like skin cracks on along my fingers and I'm getting some pretty good, uh hangnails that I want to pour like hot glue and then rub it up. Oh, oh satisfying. Yes. Do you have any videos that you watch on TikTok that you're like, oh satisfying? Yeah, Um, I mean I love a Kyle practor just getting down on someone's spine. The oh, I don't like those sounds. I don't like these. I mean just once I want the person to die and just be like then I'd probably get over the video, you know what I mean. Yeah, I just have just one crack and be like, whoops that the eight instead of the V four or whatever. They crack things so hard. I can't believe the human body can take so much. They do one where they tie a thing around the neck and they they pull your whole, like your head off and they're like, hey, you feel better, and everyone's like, I haven't felt that relief. And it's like, if these guys were really miracle workers, we would hear about it a lot more than we do. I don't believe that it actually does anything in the moment. I think it's almost like they're like those guys, those priests that are like shake people that are like Jesus compels you just stand and then the person's like and then I'm sure they walk out and they hurt again. It's like adrenaline can make pain go away. Like when I am on stage my bunyans are my feet hurt so bad in those shoes as soon as I walk off stage, but I don't feel it at all when I'm on stage. I'm on stage for an hour and a half and I don't feel any foot paint. And then the second stage it goes away. You think, if you're in a wheelchair, your legs haven't worked for thirty years. People are special. Those people are actors. But yes, I think that here so many people's disabilities by just granting them the ability to walk on stage and film special. Actually they would take the special away five minutes in because they gave it to him because they were handicapped. Oh my god. They'd be like, you know what, I didn't realize you're opener. Kind of only wanted you to have this when we thought you were. It's like the cancer guy on Ellen. Remember he had he had like stage fifteen cancer. Yeah, I think that's what you were referencing. He was a comedian that like wasn't didn't really have cancer. D you fake it? Or he had like a minor cancer and he like made it seem like major cancer. Okay, okay, well, I mean I guess there's no minor cancer, but you know he definitely uh said you have like eight months to live, and then he just kept living. Oh my god. Uh yeah. I mean that's tricky because you don't want anyone to die. But when you think they are supposed to go and they keep going, you're like um, you're this isn't what the plan was. It is interesting when people go like, you know, he has terminal whatever, like he's gonna die someday, and it's like, so is everyone, Like don't we all? Aren't we all terminal? I mean we are. I mean some of us have a longer terminal. But yeah, I'm terminal right now. But you don't know. You could be walking across the street today and get hit by something that takes you out quicker than someone who has a terminal thing, not that I'm like, especially at a bus terminal. Yes, yes, good word play on on that. That is true. Hey you know what's happening here? Oh my god, good to hear you. Mom. What what did we get into the weekend? We were in Columbus, we were in Long Island. You put up all Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that Long Island clip. Why did that? I see that reposted this morning? Is it because the captions butchered what you were saying? I mean the captions? Yeah, it butchered. And then I have no idea. I don't want to go and write it in myself. I don't even care. But didn't you watch it to see that the caption didn't fit. Yeah, but I'm confused. Do you did watch and you were like, it doesn't matter people because people are gonna watch that without sound and be very confused. Don't you realize that people watch things without sound and that's what captains. I but I just want to know did you know when you posted that clip last night that the captions were wrong? Or did you not watch it? Fully? No, when I posted it last night, I saw it that the captions. I didn't know you could change the words and reels in Instagram. But did you know that the captions were wrong when you posted it? Or did you just because I figured? I figured it's close enough whatever? And then I was like, wait, why am I? It was so bad? It was so hot, I know, literally bad. It said you said Guantanamo and it said guantum or is it iguana or something? Which is pretty funny. You wait, you treat this like iguana. That's pretty funny. I was like so angry about it because I'm like, this is a funny bit and no one's gonna hear it because you're gonna read the captions to go, what the funk is this guy talking about? So then I reposted it today and I thought I fixed the captions, and then it just did the start of the captions, then stop captioning, and then started again at the end. I don't know it's a good bit. Richard Pryor didn't have captions. I don't need captions. You don't need captions. I should have just took the captains completely off, to be honest. You could also just pay someone twenty bucks to put captions on it for you, or do it yourself. It doesn't take that long. I know, well, I was gonna make it longer. It was gonna be a two minute bit and that would have been a lot of captions. But whatever, you know what it was the lesson here, don't trust the computer to caption for you when you already don't speak, you know, with that much dick dictation. You know, like you're already there. And it was like the sound isn't great on it. It's so funny that you trusted the computer to caption it. Four You're like, this is good enough. That is the difference between you and me. Man. Were you not getting enough likes on it or were people making fun of the captions? That's my question, Like I don't know people. No, no, people liked it. I just I honestly just posted it at like one in the morning. So there was a couple of things. Uh. One, the captions were horrendous and too I don't want to I know my brain. I would have stayed up till five in the morning to see if people liked it, even though they're all sleeping because it's cold in their room and everything's great for them or whatever. So that would have fucked with me. So I just took it down. I was like, I'll just do it tomorrow, and then I did the next day and did it wrong again. But I still stand by it's a fun bit. It's very really funny. It's really funny. Are you gonna be able to work it into your regular stand up and not do it when you're not in Long Island? I don't know, what do you think I think I could do like a you know, I was just in l A. I think I could be like, wow, it's very relaxed here. I was just in Long Island, and then I could But it just feels right with a Long Island crowd to just make fun that people in l A this weekend are going to have seen that bit on your social and then they're going to hear you do it again and be like, we just saw this. No why, I don't worry about at all? But why because first of all, I would say tops of people saw it, tops, I think, But okay, let's say you were you were you were doing your own show in l A and it was you, you would probably still do that bit. And I would say at that point, most of the people because if they follow you on Instagram, they're probably gonna go see you perform, so you don't care. Yeah, But why? I want to understand why, because I'm obsessed with like that. You know, in Chicago, there was a guy that was at the Meet and Green after the first show and he was like, I'm going to the second show, and I go, Okay, we'll have to do all new material for the second show because I don't want him to have to. You know, I didn't do all but I probably did like se new material because this one guy. I mean, that's why that's wild too, you know that. No, but that's wild because I'm but I'm doing like I just don't understand why how you can do material that you think that other people have seen that it's my material, I know, but like it's forty jokes that I've known almost my heart at that time, and I fucking loved every second of it. Now it's annoying when someone goes stairs are like they say his punchline for him that. But I guess I think I just look at new jokes as working hard and I don't want someone to think I'm lazy and I'm obsessed with that. It's like, I don't want people to be like I already heard this and then want their money back. Yeah I don't. I mean, look, if if that's the kind of person you are, don't come to my show. Yeah, but I'm very funny, but I'm just like, look, I don't because it's my If it was like if it was like a joke from a special, like seven years ago, then I'd be like, Okay, maybe it's time to change it up. But if I did it five days ago and I put it on the like Instagram, and if I do it seven years ago, I would bring it back because it's been so long that I don't remember. I don't remember anything from seven years ago, let alone a joke of a comedian I like, so I would be more willing to bring that back then, two ago, the day before, two years, but I would never post. That's why I don't post anything on Instagrams because I don't want people to see it and then come to my show and go, we already know this. Oh. I was thinking, that's why don't the same outfits again? Because I don't want people Everything has to be new, because I know psychologically that novelty equals people. People like novelty. People don't like things they've already seen, Like when you look at porn, you porn videos you've seen, you go to new things like men like novelty. New equals shiny and like people like it. People don't like the same when it comes to entertainment. Sometimes I don't I don't know if your outfit, I don't know if your outfit, I don't know. I mean it's different with guys because you know, like someone like George Carlin could wear a black T shirt and jeans every single special when no one would give a shit as long as the materials. Yes, um, I literally were to I'm wearing the same bomber jacket literally five shows in a row. So much easier to be you than it is me, and I'm jealous. I gotta learn how to be easier. No, but dude, there's things that I'm jealous of you. I mean, look, I look at it like, okay, Like take someone like Michael Cha right, Like he doesn't put any material. He would never put a joke up. Well, the reason why is one he gets to tell jokes every Saturday and he has a special where all his jokes will be seen by millions of people. If I had a special coming up and the person was like, hey, maybe don't put up you know, no one says person, it's you, you would still put it up if it's up to you. That's the difference telling me and Michael not to put up jokes. We are no, but you do have okay, okay, agreed. But if you told him okay, So take the people telling me if I had a special that was going to be filmed in a month, I wouldn't put my jokes up. I'd wait for the special to record. Yeah, but I don't even put up jokes from specials I've already taped. Well, that's what is what is wrong with me. I want to just let go and be able to just trust that Instagram will captain, Like, the difference between me and you is so vast, and I want to be more. I want to meet in the middle a little bit more, because I think that it would I would get more done if I just relaxed a little bit and didn't uh Like, I really almost lost my mind this weekend when it came to packing and stuff and like the difference and just resenting men and how they don't have to pack fucking anything and they don't have to worry about and everyone's always like, why are you Why do you check bags? I don't know, because I have fucking so many liquids to bring and men don't have any liquids, so many liquids to keep travel size. It's like, well, I'm going to be gone two weeks. I use so much conditioner, and I the conditioner I use is thirty dollars, and so I don't want to bring I can't buy it on the road. It's just like whatever, I'm just creating a reason to complain. Let's get to the news. Oh boy, it's Tuesday. You know what that means. It's Tuesday. I do apologize for not having a show yesterday, but we both got hit by cars separately. What happened, don't okay? I damn it. We weren't terminal, yesterday's terminal. Okay. Um, I hope you're having all the swells out there. It's gonna be a great week and we're gonna be in l A this weekend in San Diego, so that should be fun, all right. People are joking about Jake Jillen Hall handing the baton over to John Mayer after Taylor Swift dropped the All Too Well Short film fans thing Dear John is next thoughts, Dear John is next? Speak now? Um, it's just her uh third album is the next uh one she's going to re record based on you know, the hints she dropped in the All Too Well short film video. Um, that's what Swift these are thinking. And on speak now is Dear John, which is the scathing uh song about John Mayer and what she says. Um, I mean it's dear Well. Let me just look up some of the lyrics because I can never summon them from my own. But I don't passing the baton like did he did? Did he literally write something he hasn't addressed. Jake hasn't addressed anything yet I mean, he's so big of a star again, and goes back to like he doesn't need to address this now. If he was trying to get more followers or more like, he would troll back. But he's going to be in another movie where he's gonna make twenty million dollars and people are gonna stop talking about when they start talking about John Mayer. Like, also, he already went through it, man, he is going through it again the newly like he's swifties are taking over his accounts like he is. He's feeling it right now, like it's a little do you think he should? I don't think this is right. I don't think it's right to bully a guy for something that happened ten years ago and he didn't Taylor's what do you mean you don't know that, you have no idea what he did to her. And I also don't feel like we should punish anyone for literally anything, because I don't believe people can choose the way they act. But Taylor has a right to still have feelings about it and release new material about it, and she's every right. You have a right to get all in his his stuff and bully him and like harass him. No, I don't believe that. But that's just she can't control them. She's not like sicking them on him. She's just still piste off at him or she you know, she's re releasing her feelings that she had back then, and she's entitled to write a song about a guy that hurt her ten years ago. She has every right to tell me why she doesn't. You don't think you don't think that she has any control over fans in the regards of going, hey, maybe let's on harass it was it was a bad breakup, it was sad I lost a scarf, but it's not harassed the guy ten years later. I think she's been She's already said something like that to them. Of like the people I write songs about. It's she's she's put out a statement like that you can't control, Like this isn't like Travis Scott crowd control. She's not like, do whatever you can to get him back, Like she's not saying that. She's writing a song where she expresses her feelings and people like treat her like you know, she's their daughter, and they're like, you know, mad, and they want to defend her and they're they're kind of crazy, and but yes, I do believe that, like he's you know, as someone who has had and everyone's going it was only three months long. What are you so upset about? Like stop that, Stop that, because I I've been in things that were three weeks long that will stay with me for a lifetime. And it's not because I didn't get over the person, or because I didn't meet someone else that I love more than that person, or it's like sometimes things get unresolved and you still feelings about it, and like I I have. I I have been hurt by guys before, in the same way that Taylor Swift was based on everything I can glean from all too well, which is why I fucking love it so much. The new lyric uh, you were tossing me the car keys, fuck the patriarchy, key chain on the ground. You were always skipping town. And then this part she goes and we were, and I was thinking on the drive down anytime now he's gonna say it's love. He never called it what it was. I oh my god, waiting for a guy to say I love you, which is a separate issue, and then a guy never calling it what it was being like, we never dated. What are you talking about your We were like hanging out. It's like, shut up, like, don't tell me, Like there's I've been her before and I got it. I have no problem with like her writing lyrics and and being emotional and being upset. I just hate their harassments. I'm mad at the fans and look come after me it it might help my Uh you know, if any of you know how to do capture, I could really use to help. That'd be nice to you. But and what did you think of it? I thought it was great. I think Taylor Swift's fantastic, Like there's I don't have anything, doesn't need to reach a new octave. I was just asking for it. Actually, it wasn't a defensive thing of like I thought it was great, Like I'm absolutely like, what did you think of it? Oh? I I enjoyed it. I thought it felt like its own little movie on top of him. It was like a fan It was like one of your reaction videos to her own video about herself. I don't know, it was like one and the same. It was and it was interesting. It was it was um it changed like it felt like a story was being told like, I mean, she's an incredible storyteller, and um, I don't know. It just felt like it had like six different parts. The it's like the best time of my life. With this new rerelease. There's all these songs from the vault, which is like all the songs she wrote for this album that weren't released. The new song that get put out yesterday. The music video for it came out yesterday, is what I meant to say. Blake Lively directed it. It's called I I Bet You Think About Me and Chris Stapleton is on it. It is so good at the very end. And by the way, let's let's revisit the Dear John lyrics that are just I mean, she wrote this when she was nineteen, and she said, uh, you're an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry. Never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes because you burn them out. Oh, and she goes, I see it all now that you're gone. Don't you think I was? She goes, Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone. Don't you think I was too young to be messed with the girl in the dress wrote you a song you should have known. You should have known. Don't you think I was too young? You should have known? Oh she's so much more like of all like to be nineteen and to tell someone, don't you think I was too young? And then all with the Jake jyllenhal thing saying like he so in the short film or I guess in the song she says like he says she's too young, and um, that's why they broke up, which is another thing that really bothers me that guys do when they break up with you, as they don't tell you the real reason. They just pick one that like you can't argue against. They'll use something against you for breaking up. And girls do this too. I don't this isn't just a guy issue, but like they'll say, you know, like we have to break up, like it's just if you were if you were older, it would work. Like they make a thing that you can't change so that there's no arguing of like but I'll get older for you, Like there's nothing you can say. That's you're you're put into a place where you have no it's it's it's and they think you're they're doing you a favor by picking something that is um out your fault, I guess. And then but then she goes on because I remember I heard that lyric and I didn't know where it was going. And then at the end she's like she calls bullshit because she goes you know, you always thought my jokes were corn She says, like the joke goes, I'm not good at telling jokes, but it goes, uh, you know, I stay the same age, and or like, no, I get older, you get older, and all your girlfriends stay my age. So it's like he the whole thing of you're too young wasn't even true. I remember when a guy said that we couldn't be together. Yes, but the same age. Remember that. I mean she even says, that's how the joke goes. So she's referencing that it's not like something she came up. Um yeah no, I uh. I think. Yeah, that's tough because if you can't, it's like you'd rather be told like, oh, actually no, it was your bad or not even you're bad, something you could control, something you could actually change, because then you could be better for the next person if you could have just dis honest, everyone's a liar, and it's it hurts to break up with people. I remember one guy told me, um, it's because I didn't want kids and he wanted kids, and he thought that was like yes, but it was really because he was talking to someone else at the time and he was interested in someone else and didn't like me because I had sex with him and he didn't like people that liked him back, like it was about that, but instead he was like, it's because you don't want kids, and I do. And I remember going, actually, I I don't know that I've ever said that. He's like, yes, you did. You did a joke about it. You said that, and I'm like, oh, that was a joke and he's like, well um. And I was like, I'd be down to have kids. He's like okay, uh and then you go and I go, I, you know, I probably want to adopt. I don't want to have my own. He's like, oh, yeah, I want my own, Okay, yeah. I like just he's scrounging for anything. He was just like, oh, man, if you wanted your own, we could be together. I'm just like you would. It's because you're literally actively texting another girl right now. Don't act like this is about me not wanting kids, and I'm some like you know, I'm just And then that makes you feel when you're a woman that doesn't want kids and a guy has that reasoning, it makes sense if that's the actual reasoning, but if it doesn't, it just is like it's more rhetoric to make you feel like a like a bad woman that you don't want kids, like you're not complete. You could have shown him by having a kid as soon as possible, you know, like you just go downs so funny about getting back at someone, be like actually I'll show you having seven kids. And guys like, um, yeah, I don't want you. Girls do that, Like I always tell is say in my act that like when I tell girls don't sleep with guys before you get what you want in a relationship, they're like, um, you know, but I like having sex with them, like I And it's like, well, if you want him to be your boyfriend, and it's gonna be a lot harder if you have sex with them, it's just gonna be a lot harder. And they're like, okay, well I but I'll just have sex with other people. It's fine, And it's like, okay, what you'll do is and every girl has done this at some point. Is that you think you're gonna make the guy that you really like jealous by like making out with someone and then you accidentally tell them or you actually like you try to make them jealous, and guys don't respond to that by being like wait, I want you back, Like they go, okay, you're dot like we're done. That's you discussed me and now the girls like, but I only did it to get you back. It's like the thing you do to get them back makes them go. But we were talking like me and a Meal, we're talking. I don't think hepe mind me mentioned his name. Uh. The we were talking about how when you start as sex buddies, you know what I mean, Like like the girls like, hey, I'll just we'll have sex. I'll take off at one am, and it's about like it's not for a guy sometimes, like sex is like almost secondary to like oh wait now, I like you can have sex with someone and hold back almost the intimacy and the guy might be very intrigued and that does happen to like that happened to both of us, where we're like, oh, oh, she just wants me for my sex, guys are feminine energy men feminine. It's only about ten percent of men that are feminine and probably going up all the time because of computers and people being in the middle hormones and milk. But it's true. Dr Pat Allen told me that male comics are are feminine energy, and so it makes sense that you guys feel like more bonded after sex. I believe officially I'm a masculine energy woman. Uh noah. I believe it's just the case because I have been able to I've been having um sex recently with someone who's not my boyfriend, and after sex, I am very happy to just be like by move on with my debt. Yeah, yeah, yeah sex, that's a big change. Yeah. We should have best Sie. I've hinted at it last week because I said I took the morning after pill and I had a best sie this weekend. Come with me and go are you having vaginal sex? And I was like, girl, you heard right, And there's just started just taking it in the booper and now they're like, no, I still do that. Oh my god, are you kidding me? It's still I have not one time had raginal sex and not still done the other one because that's how much I love it. So just let let it be known that like, I do not like v more than a yes. Okay, I have a question though. Yes, the person you're having vaginal sex though has been frozen for a while. It's fine, but still yeah, if her voice comes out, then just you tell me what her question is. Okay, what's your question? Noah, My question is the person that you're having vaginal sex with. It's not just like a random It's not. It's not a one night stand. Yes, uh, it's Noah says. The difference is it's not a one night stand. It's it's something that's like regular. Um, yes, that's true. And it but and and it is someone that I like. I I already feel like, Um, I'm not scared that they're gonna like leave or abandon me or any of those things. What I will say and what I said to the best see this weekend that asked me because I did feel like a trader, a little bit like giving into the before I had the relationship that um, you know, before I had a boyfriend. The thing is, I don't want this person to be my boyfriend yet, so I'm not holding out for like something that I want. I I have a boundary up with uh this, this person and any guy that would be my boyfriend, and my boundary is not is definitely like I would do this at any point with anyone that I'm um having sex with. I waited. We've been hanging out for three months and have not had V right, so that to me was a long wait. And I also I'm the one that decided, like my new boundary is like I need to know that this person is like you know, working on themselves and like going to therapy, and that's my that's my That's another thing that's like you don't get to be my you. Not that they want me to be their girlfriend either. We're on the same page, but like we both have things of like I need to see something else before that. And to me, it's it's still not some V isn't something that I'm doing every time. It's special occasions. But I will say that like afterwards, I don't feel the need to be like, oh like hanging like like the other night, I was like, I think, uh, my partner is more of a basker and being like let's just lay like and talk about it because we're and when you know, in the past with this person, he was more of a like like, Okay, we're done, let's go, And now it's more of he's more of a basker and like wants to like connect afterwards, and I'm more of a like I want to go eat oatmeal on the couch and watch love on the spectrum and like he went to the bathroom like afterwards, and I like quickly got dressed and was like out on the couch like with my foot massager, and he walked out kind of like, wow, you're over this, and I was just like it's just like it wasn't like I was like not, I didn't enjoy it and didn't want to bask in it. But it's interesting, like as you get older, how those kind of roles can switch. Well, then do you feel like but your whole the whole thing was about how the V makes you more connected because you get addicted. You get addicted and then because you think a procreation because they're inside you like like so much more feelings happened. Like that was your hypothesis before Ian, So now your conclusion, No, but it is true. But what I but I already have what The thing is, you're not supposed to have v until you get what you want out of the relationship, and I have what I want out of that relationship. It's exactly the way I wanted to be, and so that's why I was like, I'm not like trying to get him to commit to me in any way that he's not like I'm getting. It's I'm getting everything I want and like we are we are the status exactly what I want to be? So what what am I dangling at this point? And um so that but I'm really glad I did it, and I told this to the bestie, is that it allowed me to like, I think that's why we're able to be so loving now is because I waited and like it. It really did create intimacy between us that uh wouldn't have been there if we were having sex from the get go. I really think that like leaving something off the table that led us to like yearn for each other in this way that we weren't allowed to was so hot. And I definitely think I will in my relationship go through periods where I'm like, no, we're cutting it off so that we miss it again and that we get to be kind of sexually frustrated in a way that makes us like like you know, high schoolers that can't hook up because we can't, you know, like Mormon more like Mormons are like, oh, like, I don't know what it was about not being able to have sex, just having that thing like that we both wanted so bad. It was like it made us like more crazy for each other. So I think I'll take it away at some point. Again, not not for me, but for us. Mm hmm, there's no if Oh go ahead, Sorry, I can't hear. No, no, no, there's no part of me what that like, I don't know, like part of me thinks like you do want the boyfriend though, like I don't know. I mean, look down, No, I really don't. I mean I do if he does a bunch of other stuff and like I feel good about it, but it has nothing to do with I have exactly what I want right now in this relationship. I would. I really do. And you're even questioning that. Huh. I'm shocked you're even questioning that. I don't feel like I just feel like sometimes like like I don't for me right, Like, okay, let's just say it was me in your position, or like if I was in that position, I feel like it's almost like a defense mechanism to go, hey, this is exactly what I want because I'm not getting the other thing that I could potentially want, so like almost protecting, like I'm settling, like oh no, I want this. No, my god, I'm not kidding you, dude. If he asked me to the girl friend today, I would say no. I would say no. And it's not because I don't want to be someday and I think he's potential. I just am not going to settle for anything except like exactly what I want in a relationship. And that doesn't mean that I'm miserable because he doesn't. I don't even want to boyfriend. I'm fine with the way things are. I really like I don't need more. I want more someday, but I don't want it right now. It's if that makes sense, like I'm not It's like a meal that I'm not hungry for right now. If like that makes sense, let's take a break and come back with why do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care? I think I'm going to throw up. A woman loses it when she realizes she has been brought on stage at a Dell's Comeback concert by her boyfriend for a surprise proposal. She said yes, and it's serenaded by yeah. I mean ah, yeah, I mean I was. I was confused why when she took off the blindfold, she was just like saying his name over and over and she wasn't like, what the hell is this? At one point she says, who are all these people? But I think she should have been saying that from like the get so, I don't know what and I don't know what precipitated. Everyone in the red was like, Adele is so amazing to do this. I'm like, Adele didn't do it. Adele didn't do it, you guys, Adele. It was not Adele's idea. Can I scream this at you when you see a bachelor take a woman on a date on the Bachelorette where there's a helicopter and there's candles and they walk out in some artists you never heard of singing a country song, but they both actually happening to know this guy. He didn't plan it. The producers said, Adele didn't plan that. Adele did it. Planet Okay, there's a lot of paperwork too. Yeah, it's beautiful for her. Adele was like, I won't us to find a nice couple and then I'm going to serenade them with her favorite song. Like she was down to do it, but it wasn't like she's some like you know, uh, like people are acting like she is like working at a soup kitchen on her birthday, Like this is not she She's like I was reading the Reddit comments and I had to get out of there because people are like, she is just the most amazing person to do this, This is so thoughtful of her. Stop it, Stop it everyone? Will you please look at celebrity culture through a lens of everything they do is to make them look like good people. No one does anything and it's always producer's ideas. Everything everything is someone else's idea. Do you think Adele decided that and found that couple and found that girl thats been wanting him to a proposed rever and went out and bought the blindfold get out of town. How annoying is it to when someone does a public proposal like I hate it. I hate it puts too much pressure on the girl. Oh, I hate it. I think it's like hey, oh, you know she's gonna you know, she's gonna say yes. I mean sometimes and maybe if you're at a pers would not have organized this unless they fucking knew for sure. I wish no. I wish she said no. I wish she said fuck you, you don't want kids. She starts going, send my love to your new love, like adult just takes a breakup song to him because they know she's gonna say no. That would be cool. Oh it's the best when it's on a drumboat jumbo tron and the guy gets on his knee and the girl goes, what this is our third day and you didn't even buy the hot dog, you loser. I'm not no. I you know, I never understand when guys are like I'm nervous to propose. It's like, how do you know she's not? Like, of course you shouldn't be doing this. If you think there's any doubts your friends taking pictures, you know what's going to happen. You have a mariachi band that your dad's playing in, Like, stop it. Everyone knows. I just get so annoyed when people think that that celebrities are like these like Adele probably would do that. On her own time, like that probably is an idea that she'd come up with if she had any part in place, Like I know the people that produced this, and I'm going to actually get an ant, sir if Adele came up with this idea or not, because maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong, but I definitely don't think I am. And the celebrities that were at that thing, did you guys watch it? Nine point nine million people watched us, by the way, I watched it. When I watched it, I was like, I feel like this is a little bit like the super Bowl. Like I feel like that many people are watching this right now. And I wasn't wrong. What is the super Bowl? What kind of numbers does that get? Probably around there? I bet I couldn't really, I think. I mean, I think at times as a super Bowl has been like maybe twenty million, but yeah, no, dude, it's nineties six million for the super Bowl. So of the super Bowl ain't bad. I mean, that's the best ratings that they could have ever wished for for that thing. That's a ton of people watching. Oh yeah, and then another hundred million will watch it on YouTube eventually. I'm sure. I I I asked, uh, the guy I'm seeing last the other night when Adele was on, I go, why don't I like her as much as I like Taylor Swift. She writes room music, she sings about men who have heard her. Why why is it? Why aren't I not? I want to be obsessed with her. I love Adele, I really do like a lot of our music, but it's not the same. And he goes because Adela is for women and Taylor Swift is for girls that are stuck in high school. And I go, ye, and not wrong. You're not wrong because and that's not that's not a slide against Taylor. I will I think Taylor is a better artist than Adele, and I'll fight anyone about it. But I do think that Taylor Swifts music is I am stuck in high school. The most dramatic things in my life happened in high school. You kind of get stuck whenever that happens. And I'm a little bit high schoolie. And that's why I like Adele. I haven't like matured enough to like her music in the same way. And let me just say, I'm probably an adult fan the way most women are adel fans. I just I'm a Taylor Swift fan the way no women are any kind of fan of anyone, because I'm a fan the way I am like I'm a high schooler in terms of the way I'm a fan probably middle school to be honest. Just like the the jackey with like one of the INSNC kids on the back, like that's where your level is that. I literally have a if you would go get a package for me at some point. I believe it's a sweater that says Taylor Swift on it that I bought from her her merch site, which her merches has a lot to be desired, but I gotta still get it. Okay, let's get to the reddit dump. This is your reddit doom. This is from ask reddit, the subreddit that is has interesting questions. It says, what is the worst smell that you've ever smelled in your life? I love this question? Can you know? Noah? Well, I don't know if Andrew will be able to hear me, but the worst is I absolutely believe I was coming home from Madison Square. I was coming home from Madison Square Garden after a Guns and Roses concert, and the subway stunks so much, and there was a man at the end of the subway and he was as stiff as a brick. And it smells. It was It's like it was like this like chemical smell. And I think that I smelled death. Yes, okay, Andrew, Noah smelled death once on a subway ride at the coming back from a Guns and Roses concert, and um, there was a man on the platform that was stiff as a board, and she it was a chemically smelled and she thinks she smelled the subway car in the subway car. And you're probably right, Noah, because I remember the Casey Anthony's story. I was watching it and Casey Anthony's dad is a was a homicide detective. When he went up he went to pick up the car that Casey Anthony had gotten toad that had had her daughter in the trunk um before she dumped her daughter allegedly. Um, actually she's proven innocent, but um, you know there and he was walking, they were walking, her and the mom. Him and the mother were walking to pick up the car and Casey Anthony had put a bunch of trash in the back of the trunk to mask the smell, because obviously she smells. She had driven around with her daughter in the trunk for like three days before she figured out what to do with her, and um, the the stent was so bad that she put trash in there, thinking it would like maskt or like people would be like, oh, that's just the trash smell, but she's her dad. The homicide detective said that when they were walking over to the junk yard to pick or like the you know, to a lot to get the car, they got within you know, like they got within proximity of it, and he goes, that smell is once you smell it, you know the smell and homicide detectives know. And he was like, that's the smell of death. And he just started like sobbing because they both knew that because that smell was coming from Casey's car, like their granddaughter was dead. And so it's like, once you smell that, you can never forget it. What about you, Andrew? Like an old subway meatball sandwich could probably be similar, but yeah, I just like the idea of like and then once you smell you know it, and it's just you would never her throw out the subway. You would never get rid of that, But I would get rid of it that baby, but a daughter, but your daughter who is like holding you back from entering wet t shirt contests. I mean, the Casey Anthony story is just seriously, she is such an idiot that it's almost there's nothing funny about it. But there are some things she does that are so insanely like just just the dumbest person ever thinking they're covering up a crime and actually getting away with it. It's so wild, just lucky. The worst smell I've ever smelled, I mean, that does remind me of thousands of times getting on the subway and realizing no one else is on that car and just smelling something that you can't even describe, and and everyone smells it and everyone runs out of But when I was on in Body Wars, I don't know if I told this story, but you know, a handicapped kid sat behind me when I was like eleven, and then he threw up all over my back during Body Wars, which is a ride at disney World or whatever Epcot, and I was like no. We were in the like in the liver section and of the body and I was like, man, this is really good stuff, Like like's they're really niling it. And uh, the lights came on and there would throw up all over me. And I just see the handicapped kid rubbing his face with puke all over him. And I had to buy a goofy shirt for like forty bucks. And I don't know, I just god, yeah, And I remember walking by the I swear to god, he looked at me like, yeah, who's goofy now, bitch, like like because we were making fun of him, because we were like like I could literally like he gave me a look like he like like almost that it was on purpose, which I respect it I do. Anyhow, what's your worst smell? I can't even recall what my worst smell is, to be honest with you, Like I nothing really stands out to me is like the worst. But I guess it's probably as something to do with um, I guess poop, like human feet, like smelling another person's human feces in New York in your front doorstep. Like that's just all obviously terrible. All of our stories are based in New York. But no, yeah, no, I think like I do. Think like you live in New York for four years, I'd tell you around a four year mark, you can tell the difference between dogshit and human shits, just based off a note. This is gross, but I've been on some diets before that produce really bad gas, like really bad gas. All right. Um, the people that shared stuff and Reddit's pretty much the same thing. They said the smell of There are all people that work in hospitals and our police officers that have smelled death or like hoarders apartments and things like that. Um. The next this is asked, women, what is the worst thing someone has ever said to you during sex? Um? What some of the answers are. A guy once shamed me for being too wet by saying my vagina was too gloopy. I put my clothes on and left and slugged out of there. Why does gloompy feel like it could be one of the seven dwarves? Gloopy gloopy is so funny? Um. Someone said, can you just stop? The noises you are making are killing the mood. I was having a great time up until that point. Uh. Someone said I can't. A guy said, I can't stay hard because you keep crying. I was crying because I didn't want to have sex. Whoof Jesus, that's gloopy? Someone said, if going to the gym isn't working, would you at least consider as implants to your body, would at least look somewhat proportional uses the word proportional during sex? That would take me out of the mood. Anything. Um, what's the worst thing you've ever heard during sex? Either one of you. I'm trying to think of mine, um ship, trying to think what has been like really bad? Uh. I don't think I've ever heard of one time. I mean I have I have the story of when a guy was choking me once and he didn't know what to say because he was just he was new to like choking a woman and I wanted it, and I have a joke in my it wasn't perfect, but he was kind of looking at me and I was kind of just like say something, and he just didn't know what to say, so he just like conjured what he like, you know, when you movies, maybe when you see someone choking someone, he just goes, I'm gonna kill you, just like noah, And he instantly was like, is that not good? I was like, no, no, no, that's not gonna be it. Well, when I called brand of Vibrant, apparently that wasn't the best dacious or vibrant. Vibrant is a color that doesn't mean like vivations can sometimes be like easy, Yeah it was. It was supposed to be like kind of tongue in cheek, but yeah, I think it was more I should just put my tongue in her cheek and shut the funk up. But I uh, yeah, I think like I'm trying to think what a girl saying. I mean, maybe like take no, I can't honestly, I got nothing. I think once I'm sucking, you could say anything and nothing's really gonna hurt me. I think, oh, this is a this is I want Brenna to try to say something weird to take you out of it. I'm wondering what could I'm sure, like, don't you I guess you're on viagrass, So there's nothing that's going to make you not hard, but maybe something that might make you hard and angry. Yeah. No, There's definitely been times I've lost my heart on where girls like like it's more like less what they say more about like how like not It's like there's no specific other than like a hair. Yeah, okay, you know what I mean, Like why are you not staying hard? Is it because of me? What's wrong with you? Like, what's wrong with this? Oh? My god? We would say that. Okay, no, let me not all le mean, I can't think of anything that was said to me, But I guess the worst thing is just absolutely quiet, when there's like no sound at all. Yes, that's a really good point, that like the void of of of of anything being said, when it's just like and you just hear gloopy sounds. Final thoughts. Um, let's get into Oh you know what, I'll share this one that no one's gonna fucking like but I loved it and it made um. This is in Vegan so trigger warning. Um. This is in the subredit Vegan. It says the first people to compare animal slaughter to the Holocaust, where actually Holocaust survivors says um uh. It says when vegans compare factory farming to the Holocaust, meat eaters freak out because we're quote comparing Jewish people to animals. Actually, the entire point is how the actions of all humans are similar to the actions of the Nazis and by standards who do nothing to help. But no one wants to think about that. And trying and trying to avoid the comparison. I literally just read an author complaining that an animal Holocaust meme was anti Semitic, Ignoring that, ignoring that the quote on the meme was by a Holocaust survivor, they went on to say that what we do to animals is not as bad because it has a purpose. Um. My question is this with the Holocaust and torture of Jewish people in Germany have been less bad if it had a quote unquote purpose. I mean, how could someone even suggest that? Who would even agree with that? Um? And then this person went on to find so many quotes from Holocaust survivors that are also animal rights advocates. Um uh, someone said in there this was um Isaac bash Avis Singer said, in their behavior towards creatures, all men are Nazis. Human beings see their own oppression vividly when they are the victims. Otherwise they victimized blindly and without a thought. Love that. Um. I spent my childhood years in the Warsaw Ghetto, where almost my entire family was murdered along with about thirty other Polish shoes. People sometimes will ask me whether that experience had anything to do with my work for animals. It didn't have a little to do with my work for animals. It had everything to do with my work for animals. And that's Alex her Shaft Farm, animal rights movement founder and Holocaust survivor. Um I thought that was interesting because I'm always reluctant to call it a genocide and like compare it to the Holocaust too, because I don't want people to be like, how can you compare animals to humans? But I don't know. I think it's I'm not saying it's if animals could talk, we wouldn't be doing what we're doing to them, is what I'm saying. Yeah. No, I mean I'm just like thinking about all the as to Jewish people. What do you guys think about this? Well, I think that I don't know. I think a lot of things get compared to the Holocaust and then it's like like like this part of the show no no, yeah, yeah, like this thought that's about to come out of my mouth is like the Holocaust because it's a tragedy. But um no, I think, like, I don't know, I just saw like fucking ten memes about anti vactor is putting on Jewish Golden Stars and comparing it to the Holocaust, and so I'm like, Okay, maybe we don't have to. I don't know if it's so much about like the comparison as opposed to just making the comparison, like can't the Holocaust just be its own horrible thing and without it? You know? I think that's where some people might be like annoyed, because I do think a lot of people go, oh, it's just like that, get that. But I feel like, but I think the analogy, it's it's I get it. Like, I think it's a way to get people on board because I think that the reason you use comparison is not to diminish something else or not or take away from the fact that it was one of the most horrific things that is imaginable. It's to make people understand that, how like there's something will wrap your minds around. Yeah, it's not taking just by comparing using, but comparing you don't take away from something. I mean, like, yes, there are times when people go like, oh my god, that flight was like the nine eleven of my life, and it's just like, Okay, that's a uh that could be offensive to people because you're using it as like a joke and like you're obviously hyperbalizing, um using hyperpoly but I don't, I do. I really appreciated that. Um. And you know there's always some you know, I'm so there are many Holocaust survivors that would be like I would not compare it to that, so you know, they found Yeah. That was my other point, is like I wonder how I would feel of a Holocaust survivor was like yes, actually, and being an anti vaxer and people talking about people that won't get the vaccine is like the Holocaust and the guys like, yeah, dude, you were in it for like three days, like you weren't even like full hall. And at this point I'd be like, you're kind of you have dementia right now, because I mean, I think these codes about the animal rights were taken from like the eighties and stuff when we had more you know, uh, you know, cognitively with it Holocaust survivors. But I don't, I don't know. It was just an interesting thing that um. I obviously, uh, I have no right to say whether that's a right comparison or not, but um, but I just thought it was interesting. And that's the final thought. For the day and I have to go do a full day of stuff, so I'm gonna go. Their cameras zooming around me already, and um, I don't know why I can. Somebody broken in my house is filming me. Um, Andrew, I'll see you out here on tomorrow morning. I think you should just ask the people that have that information, because at some buried somewhere from me, there's someone who has that information for you. And it ain't gonna be me. It's not down your way. I know I couldn't do that, but I don't know. The road isn't listed on the house. You know what I'm saying, Just son, Andrew A Pinn That's true. I'm not even gonna do that. Uh, see you tomorrow morning. Thank you so much for listening. Uh, Donty can and shuff