Between you and Nikki, using the 'Do Not Disturb' feature on her phone came in handy, the Goddamn Comedy Jam at JFL Escapes was just what she needed and RIP Aunt Lynn. Nikki and Andrew talk about more antics from JFL, like Andrew 's non-climactic chance to spend time with his hero Jim Jeffries. They talk about 'outsiders' who make their way to the top before addressing a problem at home. You Heard It Here First, you don't need a good reason for charity, PETA's missed opportunity, sex on the job and Paul Rudd is someone Nikki cares about. They Finish each other's sentence before having a look at how much time they spend on each of their apps and it's almost a full time job!
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The Nicky Glazer. Yes, here's NICKI Here. I am Hi, guys, Nicky Glazer, It's Nicki Glazer podcast. Hey. No, uh, hey, how are you going? Why do I feel like it's been so long since I've seen you? It feels like forever because it's been three weeks since yesterday morning? In my world is that when I saw you last was yesterday morning. Yeah, we did our pod after a day of not doing it and then a couple of days not having a pod together. Right that the the can I keep saying Cabo Cancoon trip was it was weird to not have you. It was um Yet somehow someone wrote me and said, oh, you know they were talking about the live podcast. No, No, you wrote me and said you listened to the I was like, who wrote me? I get best. He's confused with Violet Gitimate, people I know associate with the show. You had written me and said that you've listened to the Cancoon Show and that you enjoyed it so good. Oh good, I'm so glad to hear that, because, honestly, no clue what it was like from our end. Yeah, it's always different. I had fun experiencing it live from our perspective and then I actually, because I didn't attend, I had no idea what happened. I got to listen to it as a bestie would. And I can't wait to put this out. Okay, good, we'll look forward to that on Thanksgiving. That will be UM. The live episode we did from Cancun at the Just for Last Escapes weekend, which was just a bunch of tons of comedy fans got UM tickets like all inclusive resort and you just get to go see comedy shows all weekend. It was. It was really fun. I wish I would have been able to like have more fun fun, but it was a lot of work fun. I loved seeing all the besties tag you in their Instagram posts and the videos from the goddamn Comedy Jam was I mean, that was That was insane, dude, that was for you. I didn't know it was going to be the best feeling I've ever felt in my life. It was like, um, because the goddamn Comedy Jam is the thing that's been going on for ages. It was started by UH comedian josh Adam Myers, whose middle whose uh initials are Jam. I don't know if he knows that but he started the goddamn comedy jam, which is comedians do like a quick set, and then they performed with an amazing band of these really just you know l A musicians who are probably like studio musician guys that are just incredible live performers each just I was up there and got to like do the the last song with everyone, and that gave me the opportunity to kind of look around me and admire, like how great these guys are at playing music and um, and how just what great performers they are while they're shredding, which I didn't know if you could say shredding for a bass player, but you can. Yeah, I was given permission to say that he shredded totally and um. But yeah, I was like, I went to rehearsal right after the podcast and we were rehearsing this space and I sang I played guitar, and they had a guitar for me there, and I profusely apologized for my lack of skill. And they're all these guys. I've I've done Blank Space with them. I think it's like my fourth or fifth time singing it. They always do different comedy um festivals and They're always a fun show to jump on in addition to your stand up shows at night, and everyone parties and like the whole festival comes together for these shows, and it's so fun because whether or not you can sing, the band is so incredible that it makes you feel like a rock star and you sound like one too, and we I always sang blank space and I never really like um. I never played guitar, and I asked them if I could, and they were very gracious to let me and drown me out well enough that you couldn't hear anything. But I realized that if you have a big band with you, like you don't need to actually play. You can just like I almost air guitard it because people were like you seemed like you, like you sounded so good, and I'm like no, no, no, I every time I would funk up a chord like where my because I had I had um what are they called not gels but dips dip nails, you know, when you dip them in and their powder dip and they're just like little bubbly bubble like little um caps on your like Eminem's on your fingernails, like they have Like it's hard to play guitar with them, But they just dry faster than gels. They don't rip my fingernails apart as much as gels, and so well, gels dry the fastest because there's no dry but they just I just tend to get those instead, even though these times they truly rip my fingers apart and I lost a lair of fingernail. But um, I just my fingering on the neck of the guitar was kind of sloppy, and every time I knew it wasn't gonna be a good sounding chord, I would just like mute it with my palm so like I just would so I wouldn't make a bad note. I would just not play. And I realized I adapted in that moment, there was like there was it was the only time that I would ever have learned to do that, because generally when I played guitar live, there isn't a band to carry me if I want to just mute it and make it sound like non existent. Um. And it's almost like with the singer going like they don't want to hit a high note. They like put the microphone out to the crowd and have them hit it for them. Um. But I. I loved it so much. It was so funny because that was the night that I found out my aunt died, which is, um, thank you so much to everyone who wrote something to me, or wrote a comment or just even thought of me. That is so sweet because I mean, it's my aunt. It's not my mom, it's not my dad's, not my sister's, not my immediate family, but um, it was my aunt Lynn, And we found I found out like right after I had masturbated. I like put my phone back on, like not midnight mode, you know, a little moon that you put it on so you don't find out people die while you're mid jerk um from your dad. You don't get a text from your dad. That's generally why I don't do it. But I just like finished, and I'm still kind of in my own like computer open, slowly loading gifts of just just horrible things happening to women and a little did I know there was a horrible thing happening to a woman in Cincinnati because my aunt died and my dad. I'm like naked with my vibrators in bed, and I'm breed of texts that you know, Lynn passed away, And I was like oh God, and we we knew it was coming, and she was. She lost her son, her only son, Um j D, who was like my brother growing up. Um. He died at the age of thirty and like two thousand, I want to say, fourteen. And so it's been seven years of her just hating life because her son died. And so every time we would talk to her, I mean, she would have moments where her spirit was kind of did but she was just wanting to die really badly, which is so sad. Um. That's the reason I don't want to have kids is because if something happens to one of them, then you're dead or you just don't want to exist anymore. That doesn't have to happen that way, but generally, like you don't sometimes don't have a choice, and that's the way she was for like seven years, just didn't. She was a huge supporter of mine and would always write me really nice things, but it was very sad to see how much she missed my cousin j D and would like write to him on Facebook late at night and like you would just see her messages like appear on his wall of her like communicating with him, and honestly thank God for that. I think that sometimes people could roll their eyes about people posting about or either like two dead people like writing comments on their posts after they've died, or even writing a post about a person they lost and kind of writing to them in it. You can just go, oh, this person is straighting to get attention, like more like, don't put it, make it public. I don't know. The second I found out Lyndae, I was just like I need I don't She was so alone when she died, Like I just want other people to know she existed and was a person who lived that was like vibrant and amazing and just just helped me. I'm like very grateful that Instagram is out there, even though there's so much of it that sucks. And you can roll your eyes at people posting things like this because I'm like, Okay, if I post about my aunt, that means I have to post about my uncle. I have to, like, and that's not the rule or that people. I was like, people are gonna un follow me because if they see me posting about my aunt, they're gonna go like, okay, we have to every person Nickie's life who dies, we're gonna get like one of these sad posts and it's like maybe, but in that moment, it was just what I needed. Um two, it's just to write something about her and I feel like she her name, like like some other people knew of her, and like it was so nice to send that to my dad and who that's his his sister, his only sister, and for him to read all the things that you guys wrote underneath that, like I know, really touched him. And so it was just like it was just a nice way to like grieve. No what have you. I know you've taken to Instagram in the past for like when you lost Bruno, your dog, and just did it did help you to How did did you find yourself doing things that maybe are out of character? You did them? You yeah, yeah, yeah, that was very much out of character. But it was so helpful to me because some of the messages that I got were so simple but very heartfelt, and it was just something that really helped me. And I was I was really surprised by how much a stranger's comfort helped me, like in that moment, and I think that you were going through the same thing. Yes, that was it. It was like even like heart emojis from someone I've never heard of, like the fact that someone took the time to go heart like with their thumb boom boom boom boom send, Like that was effort put towards me to make me feel special and loved and supported, and even that little second like matters and um, all those comments like really touched me. And then it was kind of embarrassing because like I posted about it, I did the podcast in the morning, met everyone at the festival, like I was having so much fun, and then went to go take a nap masturbate get ready for the show that night. And then I went back out and everyone had read my post and I was and everyone's just like Nikki, I'm so sorry, and I hate like too much, like Nikki, I'm so sorry. Like I didn't want I didn't even I didn't think I wanted that, And in person, it's just it's almost too much for me. And I don't think I would have told anyone if I didn't have Instagram, um, or maybe just fewer people, but a lot of people came up to me and it was just like so sweet that people say kind things when you lose someone. It's just humans can be so caught, like just make you feel so good. And I performed that night and I did a show and I didn't think it was affecting me. I truly was just like you know what, I've known Lynn was going to die for a while. I was ready for this. She can't live forever. She's wanted to die for seven years. She wasn't doing well, but there was like almost speculation that she might have taken her life. And my dad was like, it's not confirmed yet whether or not. And although the Corners report says it was natural causes, like you know, we we don't know. Um, I think that a lot of times suicide is just listed as like they just you know, he's like the talks, you know, they ruled out drugs, And I'm like, why does Britney Murphy's toxicology results take two months? Yet my aunts took two hours? Like, I don't think they did all the tests that they could do. Like whenever celebrity dies, I remember Anthony Bourdaine's his toxicology results took months to get back what was in his system. So how can you rule out what was in my aunt's system? Um? And natural causes? What does that even mean anymore. Like she smoked cigarettes forever, she drank a ton. She was such a fun wild wolf, like she was so opinionated, so sassy and brassy. Used to be like, Nikki, you are never going to find a man to love you with the way you eat. No, she'd go, you're never gonna get dates. And I used to be like, I don't want dates, like I didn't like boys when I was a kid. So I would be like, fine, I'm gonna keep eating with my mouth open. And she used to say, but she was the first person I've told this before who was like, Nikki just said the funniest thing. Oh my god, get in here, because she was she was aunt line to me, and she hates the bug ants. She's always hated ants and terrified of them. And I was like, but you're an aunt and she was like, that is the funniest goddamn thing I have. Get out of here, Dick. Let's do what Nicky just said. One time. I used to go to Catholic school when I was kindergarten first grade, or I didn't go to kindergard but no, I didn't go I didn't go pre school, kindergarten, first grade. I went to Catholic school and then I transferred to public once I moved to St. Louis Um and I remember my aunt Lynn asked me, like what my parents religion was, or maybe she overheard me telling one of the kids that we were playing with. They were like, I just knew that when I went to Catholic school, I was Catholic. So I was like, oh, my parents were public. Now I thought that was a religion, and she goes, that is not funniest goddamn. And I once saw her. She was the first person I ever I'll put a tamp on in. It was on a speedboat in Michigan. She just pulled her suit to the side and shoved one up in front of everyone. She was gorgeous. She always took credit credit for everything, everything good about me. She would take credit for my Mom always says that Lynn would be like, Nikki has my legs, Nikki's got my sense of humor. You know she got that from me. Nikki got her hair from me. Nikki like anytime anything was good about me, it was. Which isn't possible to get any trait from your aunt. It's like an offshoot that you literally can't get anything from because I mean maybe I got it from the same place she got it, which was my grandma Grandpa. But I don't get anything from my aunt But my mom used to just sit there like what it. I contributed nothing to this child. And then Um. The most famous story of my aunt Land, and this is funny but also kind of tragic, was she's a big drinker and my parents used to like leave us. J D was like my best friend growing up. He died when he was thirty from alcohol related um stuff and again inconclusive if he took his own life or not, but you know whether or not, he was just you know, uh, just scacame to anxiety and depression and alcohol and super tragic. But he was just like the nicest guy. And I always tell Andrew that he really reminds me of j D. Like the way that we get along was the way that j j D and I got along, except that j D was like an older brother to me. Looked up to him a lot, and we just hung out my whole childhood. He was like my he was my brother. Um, and we used to go over to my aunt Land's house and we used to quote unquote stay up all night that was our thing. We would wake up in the middle of we'd get up in the middle of the night, which was probably and we'd like go out and watch TV and watch Pavis and butt Head and singled out and like just you know MTV whatever it was on, or Comedy Central. Um, what's the one where they make fun of they sit in the chairs and then you see their silhouettes and they make fun. Uh no, it's um man, I know, Mstery Science Theater. Throstery Science Theater. Yes, yes, So we used to watch that, and but we used to always go over to my Antlands and my aunt would just like drink a lot and be on the phone with her friends and then like pass out drunk, like in a room. And then we were just like eating candy and hanging out and having so much fun. And one night there was a tornado in Cincinnati and the sky got really it got really bright outside all of a sudden nighttime it was like even five, and it became like daytime and the sky was green and it was spooky, and then sirens started going off and we were like what the fuck, And so we ran into my Lyn's room and she's and we're like Lynn, like like shaking or like what do we do there's a tornado and she just kept going it all pass, it all pass, and we were just like what the funk like laying on her stomach in this water bed, just like it all passed. And I remember the next day telling my parents about that, and they thought it was so funny because I mean, it's just like the most like you're on your own, it'll pass, and like, yes, it will like over us, like it will pass. She's not wrong. But in the end, I just realized, like I guess I could have given her the same advice of like the pain she felt about my cousin, like it will pass. And now she's like she's out of pain. We're all we all feel like a sense of relief that she's out of the misery she was in after he passed away. But I will say that doing the cut goddamn comedy jam being on stage that night was not the best thing for me because being able to talk, I just like went to some dark places and I was realized I was a lot sadder and like angry and just like bummed out. I was talking about how like in my family, I feel like sometimes week wek if it's suicide in my like or mental illness in the past, especially like with my dad's dad, and like just deaths that were kind of like that happened pretty young. Was that really just like a heart attack? Or like what was that pills? Was that an overdose? Like was that suicide? I would like to know about mental illness in my family so that when I have weird thoughts or have my own struggles that I'm just like, oh, this isn't my fault. This is a thing, this is an illness, and it it makes it so I can I don't feel it would just be like a load off to know that this is just not my fault, you know. And so I think, uh, I was kind of thinking I was just sad that my aunt probably had something to do with her own death. She definitely did, because she was such an addict and her health was just terrible and she wanted to go. But like I was, I was trying trying kind of haphazardly to make a joke about like it's as if someone having the same brain as my aunt and being like, no, she just tried of natural causes, don't look into it. It's the same as like having a car that has an engine that explodes. Eventually you recall the car and you contact people that have the same car, and you go, hey, by the way, your engine might explode, do you want to like take extra precaution, you don't go. It was that was just like because that car drove in that area that you don't even go to, so don't worry about it. Like I want to make sure my brain doesn't fucking explode someday. It's nice to have these things and to talk about the root causes so that you can prevent it. But I will say that going on stage at night after I had a set that was like a little erratic, but for good reason. I performed the goddamn comedy jam and Andrew was filming me during it and he said he's never seen me look so happy, And that's what so many people wrote me, were like, you were just like the happiest we've ever seen you. And I truly like I what I love singing and perform and playing guitar at the same time with a band and having a crowd sing the lyrics to to blank Space. It was the best feeling I've ever felt. It was like it truly was as someone who's performed in every single way possible, being on stage with other people and having the audience also like participating. It was just it was just transcendent. It was awesome. It's like it taught me something about myself. I need more of it. So let's get Andrew in here to hear his perspective. Andrew, What up? Drew? I was just talking about goddamn comedy jam and um how fun it was. And you you you got me to stick around later too, because I was going to go back after because Andrew Tantino went to bed after Uh. I went up first, and he was like, I'm gonna go back, and I'm like, I'll go back to and then you were like I'm gonna stay, and I'm like, I'm gonna stay, and thank god we did because we got to go up at the end and sing together. I did not expect to go up in this basis or basis or no. No. The keyboard is started yelling. He goes, get to get up there, and I go, no, I'm good, dude, this is her thing. He goes, get the fuck up. Everyone is Jeffrey's a j farroh. Every comedian that had done a set at the end, goes up on stage with Josh ad of Meyers in the band and we sing um guns and roses. What was the song, saying she's got a smile that it seems that Michelle what I think it's called My Michelle? Oh wow, No, no, no, Sweet out of Mine? Oh yeah, sweet child of Mine? Okay, yeah, My Michelle was like a French Michelle my belt. I could see that. I almost let it slide because I go, I don't know the name. Sometimes you ever know when's songs like I Know, but that's so far from the song we Will Rock You, or like I'm Blue it and it's like it's like Addison's Lie, and you're like, why would it be called Addison's Lie? Just call it blue abadid abada. There's plenty of songs, so I just go, guess that's Michelle's song or whatever she said they have a song called My Michelle. I'm not crazy. You're not crazy. I didn't think you were sorry and reacted, but did you You wanted to stage dive and I was like, no, no, no, well josh I ad Admires staged over, and then Jim Jeffries, who I gotta say it was one of before I started stand up. I was probably the biggest fan of his, and it was funny. I told him. I was like, I saw you had the four larder improv like twelve years ago. He's like, that's probably when I just moved here, and I was like all right, and I was like the whole conversation like I wasn't. I was like trying to like navigate it where I was in fan boy boy yeah, but like wow, being like I actually like, really, you know you were a comic. I guess yes, yes, because I was introduced earlier in the day, but uh yeah, anyhow, but yeah, So it was pretty surreal just dancing singing the guns next to Jim Jeffreys. Jim and I was like, we jump in and he's like, he puts the he was like putting the mic. Dude, Jim's jumping, I'm jumping and then he's like, no, I'll break my fucking neck. He told me afterwards it was like I think I might have thought I was going to because I moved my phone to my back pocket or like he was like, I definitely considered it, because he then asked me, are you going to do it? And I was like, no, because I didn't want to kick anyone in the foot in the head with my shoe. Plus he would have got groped, Let's be honest, it would have enjoyed a little bit of touching in that moment. But I did just go to the front row and just hug a bunch of girls that were there, and that was my version of that. It was so sweet, but I didn't want to. I was so worried that josh admires stupid shoes going to kick people in the face. I was like, what are you doing. Don't don't crowd surf because some people aren't paying attention, they're drunk, and you got a shoe in the head and he wears a boot that is made for kicking people in the face. It's like American history X. Yeah, it's like found underneath the floor at CBGB. Like it just reminds me of like the he's so rugged. Even his stories are down here. He's like I was doing cocade in Mexico and a donkey ate my ass, and then I went up there and not saying Frank Sinatra is my way and his voice is insane, like how low it is, and he's not. He's a really nice guy. I'm so funny that someone in the band was wearing a shirt with his face on it and it looks like a memorial shirt, Like it looked like the shirt he would make after he died. And I'm like, just keep it because it's a matter of time. A shirt of Josh adamyre. Did you see it? It looked like this. It was like this. Um. You know there's pictures where there's there's shirts where it has one's face on it. I even have one. And there's ones that look like, oh, that's a cool shirt of like an artist, and there's ones that are like, that's we're celebrating that this person is no longer with us. And it looked like he should have the dates of when he lived above it. And I told the guy just keep that. I feel like you're to do the born date in a dash and we'll fill it in water, fill it in later, get some white out and write it in. No, Josh is doing quite well. He's you know, he's been through a lot and sober and gotten you know, he's clean now. But he looks like he's a guy that's lit let um illustrious life. Yes, but that was a that was a fun show and then he kills it. I mean, you had the band behind you, you have like the mannerisms. It's kind of like sometimes it's scary, like because you know, I watch you watch her, and then I see the practice. Then on stage you have this thing where you where you go, it's like this like almost robot try like like like if Taylor's went with the robot, no that's not no no no, But I'm telling I'm making fun fu n you know. But but there's just something to it, like where you're just like you just you take her in like, yeah, I embodied her up there. Like there are times when I can do I do impressions of people obviously without knowing it, and I can just like sometimes I can really nail how someone is and just being when you dress up like someone, it's much easier to do an impression of them. Um. And especially when you're standing playing guitar with a band, singing her song, um, wearing like an outfit that she would wear. It was very easy for me to embody her and just be like and just like doing the same things. But it actually came from a genuine place of like, oh, that's how I want to feel. And it got me. It wasn't me trying to be her. It was just like, oh, this feels natural right now to do these things. And you do have to put on a show in terms of with your face and like when you're singing, because a lot of times you can just look like oh like so much of like performing is your face, and with comedy or with singing in your body and in your face, and you totally forget writing jokes all day in your notebook. You don't write down what your face is gonna do or how you're the inflection you're gonna use. But like even her singing, like, um, got a long got a long list of ex lovers. They'll tell you I'm insane. She goes, I'm insane, And instead of saying and my dead always tells me, he goes, why do you say I am? And I'm like, because Taylor does. And I like that inflection because yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you didn't nail it, and uh it was cool to see. Um we filmed it or I filmed it. I don't know if you post Oh yeah, you posted it somewhere. I posted all my stories and people were writing the nicest stuff. So that meant a lot to me. But um, yeah, it was just because it's not like I always love how like when you do, because like that that kind of for me, I would be like, what rock song, what's the fastest song's because I'd be so scared that the audience when it be But you just do you so much and that song is so well known and and I just know it's good and it's not that even if so many people were like forwards, like I don't like Taylor Swift except when you sing it, and I'm like, no, you do like Taylor. You just don't know it is there's it's not subjective objective. She's a good singer, songwriter. It's just there's no doubt about it anymore. It's not up for debate. It's like karaoke. You know, people will do like the slowest song that is so indulgent. I hate that if you but if you have a band and you know that you can do it. I've practiced a lot like I wouldn't do a song just because I'm like, oh, it's a good song and I can sing it. I think that song that Trip was awesome by the way that it was such it was so fast Nick. How much do we love Nick? And Nick and his girlfriend listened to the show Hey Necks girlfriend ham drip. What did she like? She likes something like that? Oh right Wednesdaysday. That he also told me some other thing that she told him to tell us that was like a very show thing. It was so cute. But I've known Nick for so long, Bruce, Oh so nice to just good people. Um, but Nick is a guy that works. Nick Brazao, he was a comedian and then he got you know, he started working with JFL which is in Montreal. It's just for last Comedy Festival, and you started working for um them, you know, probably lower level and now he's like, you know, then he quickly became the comedy booker. But he was a comedian first. And I was talking to him about it because I remember when I first met him, he had probably been like a year or so out of doing comedy and just now booking it. And I was like, how could you quit comedy like you were doing, you were getting gigs, you were working on how could you ever not do comedy and like also and work at it from this side of things? And I just never understood that, and I just told him the other night. I was like, I totally get it, Like I totally get being Maybe I don't know if that's his part point of view, but like secure enough, that's like I can let other people do it. I don't need to do it. But the thing I that is most important to me about stand up is that is the camaraderie and getting to hang out with the people that do it. Certain people, some are terrible, but like just being able to be backstage with Jim and Andrew and you and and the band and have an have those opportunities. Nick still gets those, and he he also is like the night, the night we got in, we're hanging out with Nick, uh, Andrew, me and you all in my room and shooting the ship and talking and Nick and I are really good friends. So the next day we were talking about like um our social anxiety. That night, like I was worried that he wanted to go to bed because I had texted him on the way that we got there at like ten o'clock to the resort or maybe later. We landed at ten, so we got there at like eleven thirty, and Nick was like, I'm going to bed. I'll just come down the lobby and say hi, and then we pull Then he ends up in my room and we're there for like two hours talking. You made a panini um And I told Nick the next day, I'm like, are you so tired? Like I know you're trying to go to bed. He was like, are you kidding me? That was honestly, that was like one of the best times I've had in so long because it was just a good hang. And I go, that's why I you just said it to like, you just made me realize it. I left comedy for the hangs. That's why I love comedy. I like shooting the ship, talking ship, being real, talking about literally any subject is is on limits. No, there's no gross level of like disgusting anyone or just everything. And everyone's emotionally kind of more um open now. And I said to him, I was like, I kept checking on you to be like, oh, he's being quiet right now, like he's probably really bored wants to leave. And he was like, I was checking on you because we were in your room and I didn't want you to feel like we had to stay. He was like, and then I was worried that I wasn't chiming in enough, and that you guys were gonna think I wasn't funny, And I was like, I love how we're like both obsessing in our heads and trying to take care of each other. Um. But I just loved hearing how much he like enjoyed that, because so did I. I think you know, as you come up as a comic, if you're trying to do comedy and you moved to New York or any any city you're in the main booker, whoever that is, whatever town you're in, they get a lot of like they get a little bit of an ego because they're choosing who lives and who dies. They're kind of king job freeing it. And you could feel it in the right comments like this is who I liked or this is who killed and you know that they they know that, and you don't feel it. Maybe if you're I don't know, I don't feel it, maybe because I'm like connected through you, But I honestly feel like you would never feel it with him. No, he has no ego. It's almost like he should get one. He's yeah, what a loser. No, he's like Noah, like he can hang you know, like there's he's in he's not a comedian but where he was but and it's very very funny, but there's no part about him where you're like, this is an outsider like in getting into the business so that they can just get it on her hands and they didn't earn it, like he belongs there. But there's definitely like there's definitely bookers, Yeah, but there's definitely bookers that were comedians that that don't belong there and that end up like they're just so power hungry. It just fucking makes me angry. And if you're listening out there, they eventually kind of it found out for me and just like in it for the wrong reasons. But you know that's there are so many people that find weasel ways in to hang out and to have I was talking to my manager about how some people are so slow, like on calls and like we were talking about the other day, like meetings just tedious. And I was talking to him about how much I value when we talk on the phone because it's just like in and out and it's like it's as quick as the text exchange for conversations. And I was asking him, I'm like, you talked on the phone all day long. Do people in this business show business last? If they're those long winded people that like have to say hello and then tell the start like have all of like and just are so like they talk ultimately, don't get business. If you talk too long, they go ultimately. I'm thinking, it's like, what the funk are you get jumped to? It pales ultimately over the details that everyone is very clear on. They have to then go over them again. It's just like, oh God. But I said, do those people last? You do you? Do you see those people fall away that are too because this industry is so like that? And he said, no, they end up at the top because no one can tell them to shut up. So they just work their way to the top where they can get away with that and no one can take it from them. I mean, there's something to speaking slowly where I I don't see you going to them. But there's a lot of people, including myself, if I'm talking to someone and they and I feel like they have a little bit of power and they start so I'm thinking, and I'd be like, what are you Try to start meditating because I'm like, I need to calm down and get my heart right down and get on their level because they have mine. I've never spoke to someone as fast as you, as you think and you speak, it took me a while to like catch up. I think I'm still catching up. Yeah. Last night, my uh, the guy I'm dating was just like you are just on a different aren't level in terms of how quickly your brain works? Not like it's like he was not. I'm not patting myself on the braack like I'm brilliant, but like I just move really really fast, and I don't realize that other people. I just want other people like just just walk faster, you know, like I know you can just do it, but some people's brains they can't. It's not that they're dumb, they just need a second and I don't. I Um, I just learned some things about myself last night through talking to the guy I'm dating and him bringing some things about my personality to light that are not that great that I, you know, normally would never want to hear and would want to like never read those YouTube comments. But he, you know, he behaved in a way that I was like, I didn't like how you did this, and he goes, well, it was I'm not making excuses, but I can't. It's hard to for me to be loving towards you when you do this and this and this, And I was like, wait, I did do all of those things. And I was like, WHOA, I wouldn't want to be loving towards me either, Like that's not how I want to talk to you, not only you. But he was like, you can't talk to me like you talk to people that you that work for you. And I was like, I don't want to talk to anyone that way, Like I shouldn't be talking to people I work for and he goes, maybe you have to do He was like, I think you're right. You should probably assess the way you talk to people and ask for things, because it just sounded like my mom being like Aja, get me that, Nick, get me that, and it's just like just say please and thank you. And I know you've brought it to my attention before, but I'm like, oh, you're just being sensitive. But the way when he said it and was like, I do not like for you to talk to me that way, I was like, I don't want to talk to you that way or anyone like it just and I go and I'm not the type of person that's rude. I don't. I'm grateful when people grab me things or get me things, And so why am I shouting at people to get things like I don't. That's just not who I I really don't think that's who I am. So I'm misrepresenting myself when because I'll just be like, oh, I want that thing, my foot's in the foot massage, Hey can you give me that thing? And it's like just say, hey, would your mind giving like just the way you can say it is, But I just go, fuck tone, I want to speed this up, like just I'm I'm up to I'm a little bit spectrum me about it. It's like, why do I have to change my tone? But now I realize I really have to realize I'm not I have to be more empathetic. I think that I have a grasp on it, and then I get kind of hit over the head with seeing myself. I think, what happens with you if I could just like I think, whenever you like do something where like you're the star of the show, like where it's like outsiders that are like literally they'll they'll do whatever you want. I mean essentially, like I'm not saying that that's a like like you take advantage of it, but like like like f Boy Island or something where like you're the star, like it's hard to I'm sure it's hard with you to go from that to just regular life. And I'm not saying that it's a bad like I get it, like I empathize with it, Like I can't imagine like being like what do you need? What do you want? What do you need? And then going to life and being like, oh no, I'm not gonna get you that ship, you know what I mean, And then you're gonna be like wait, like it probably takes a few days to be like okay. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it just that would make sense to me. Yes, I and I think that I do that. I have trouble um vascillating between those two worlds where people are their job is to just grab things for me and get them so that I don't have to walk across the room literally because I have to be in a chair getting may makeup done or whatever is. You have to be yes, And I get it, you know, ask and and and and like when when it comes between you and me and like you doing things for me, Like it's a blurred line of like, Okay, are you being paid for this? Are you just doing this out of kindness? And I think that sometimes I think that you were just going to do something out of kindness and you're thinking that you're being bossed around by someone who you're like, I'm not on the clock. But it's like, but when you're off the clock, I just want you to do something out of kindness, and you're like, well, when I'm off the clock, I don't want to do anything for you because when I'm on the clock, so I'm not gonna do things for my boss out of kindness. And that's where I get like, Okay, I can't have my friends work for me then, because I want my friends to be doing friendly things for me without me having to go like please, like I I have to, I have to give all these reasons why I can't. Now, will you do it? As opposed to like this would really make my life easy? Can you do this? Or like you know that. That's where it gets blored, is like I'm sure when you're off the clock, you don't want to take out an order from me, but sometimes as your roommate, I need you to fulfill an order because my day has no room for me to like get something that I need to get or something, and I know your day does and and I want to be able to do those things for you too, because that's what friends do. I know. I think we always just keep circling back to the same kind of thing, and I think we have a better grasp on it with like where each other's coming from with that stuff. Um, I think you know obviously yesterday was, but like my thing is is like if if I'm not working for you, and let's say my day is open in your eyes, right, that's still my day, right, So my time is just as important as your time. You're choosing to work, you're choosing to go to these things, that's your time. My time. This is important even if just drop my choice. Sometimes all the things that I'm ount in my day, I literally don't have even a minute to feed myself to do that while I'm driving to It's not though, because there are people, there's money and productions. It all lines up. So it's a day like it would be the same as if you you know, you having a mom who might be sick and you have to go visit her. Is well, it's your choice. You have a mom. Like I have a job. Sometimes I agree to a job not knowing that all of the jobs are gonna I can't see the future that much. Where a day where I've literally no time to go to the grocery store and I and I desperately want an order to be picked up and I need food in my house, that is the kind of that's not me being like I just feel like I need a frame from Target and or you're not doing anything today, get me a frame. It's like, this is a necessity and I truly have not a single window to do it. Could you do it? Yes? Yes? My thing is is that, like I if I look back at our friendship and when you've asked me to do something, even off the clock, I think I've rarely I I can't even remember a time I've ever flat out said no to you. So my thing is is that because if I do say no, I feel like you're gonna go, well you have in your mind, You're gonna start thinking, well, you have this open today. I have work you don't have, So me's even thinking of saying no. I'm thinking, okay, Well, now if I say no, she's gonna judge me and be upset because she assumes that I have a free day or whatever. So then I'm in a position where I can't. I don't feel comfortable saying no because I don't want to feel the anger from you. But if you say no, I would just say, like if you said I can't today, I'd say, I literally have note, and then that would open up a discussion of why can't you? I know, but I don't even want I don't even want to have to answer that. That's the difference, like like I don't think you understand, Like I don't think you understand helping friends when there's nothing in it for you. But that's that's that's what I don't think you understand. That's kind of that's before we even before you even asked me to do anything. I walk Luigi, I got Starbucks, and I got Zevia for us yesterday. The Zevia thing you got on your own. I didn't ask that, and I was appreciative of it, but that was yours too, And I asked you to walk Luigi for me, and I said please, I'm so sorry you don't have time and I and I bought my own service. You picked it up, and I appreciate that, but I bet I get you Starbucks I've spent if I ended up all the money I've spent on Starbucks, I'm not comparing it, but it's truly Andrew, like I I think of you when you don't ask me to think of you and think of what could make his life better and easier, what could nurture him and make him feel good when you don't ask for it. And I don't feel that from you as much. And so when I have something that I'm just like, God, I don't want to ask him to do this, I really don't, and I do it, and it's met with I guess. And it's just it's not even going to the grocery store and going through the aisles. It's picking up bags that would be pre already loaded and you just have to go in and get the bags and bring them to your car. And I would be so grateful. You saying I guess is like just not, I just don't feel like that. I I okay, I hear you, but I just feel like when you say that, I don't think of you, or if I don't do things for you, and that's like a blanket statement that just like it just when I can literally like go through like I don't, it's like on a pissing contest, but it's like I feel like you do. I know you do for me all the time. The other day you offered to go over my set for that Bruce Springsteen show. You were like, you can send me it and I'll help you with it. That was something I didn't ask for that you offered. That was just going to take your time and was only for me. That I can think of examples like that. But yesterday with the groceries, I just I was just like I have ever said no. But the thing is you should be able to say no to me. It's just in those moments. I but do you understand like why I can't because you say to me that I don't think of you and I don't do things for you. That's what you just said. But you're allowed to say no to me, it's just and I'm allowed to say, listen, I know that you don't want to do this today. I really need you please and have that discourse instead of I guess how many times have I done. I guess like that yesterday. I know, but that's one time out of a million times you've asked me to do something. That's the first time. But it was but it was just that was just talking about that isolated it. But then you go, what do you mean. I guess that's what you said, because I was like, what do you mean? I guess it's like both of you, both of you are asking kind of the same thing when it comes to tone. You know what I mean. I mean, yeah, it is. I just tone is everything. I'm just like struggling with being seen as a boss or a friend and having like those that that I'm just thinking, now, Oh, people are only nice to me because I pay them, and they don't do anything for me unless they're on the clock, and they don't even and they are they roll their eyes and resented if they're off the clock to do something nice for me, And so all the nice things you do for me, I'm like, oh wait, I like have a momento moment where I go back and I see all the times, all of our good times, and I'm like, oh, he's just doing that because I pay him and I've given him affordab him opportunities and the day he has a free day where he can sacrifice some of his free time to make my day a little better and I'm going to pay him for it. It's just is it's it's I guess, and it's like I don't know how. But my point is is that, yeah, you it's just hard because I feel like I think you stop asking for things from you and get an assistant. First I did that and then she she didn't do anything. Yeah, she wasn't able to do it. Um, but I just need to do that and like not ask things from you that you can't give me, give me support in ways that other people don't like. I think it's just an issue of wanting someone to be like to to you know, well I do that, so you should do that. And it's like we don't operate. We don't. I'll show our love and our friendship in the same way and that I have friends who would do that for me. But it doesn't mean you have to. But I feel like I do a lot of things like that. But I think it's because I pay you know, you don't how many times I don't think I'm like that dude. That's like I don't. I mean, if that's how you view it, that's like I don't know what to say. I mean, you don't even realize it's why. What ultimately you're looking for and maybe something for you to focus on when all these jobs and stuff are done, is partnership is just a good who Well, that's where I thought roommates are that are sharing a refrigerator and food, and that was the groceries to me, was a thing that roommates tackled together. Um and but it's not. And that's why I think we just I've decided yesterday like separate groceries, never gonna get something for you again. And I'm not saying that like I'm not doing anything, Like I don't need to think about your food needs. You've already asked me not to. I you stay out of my food, I stay to yours. I don't need to get you things at the grocery store unless you ask for them. You don't need to get me things at the grocery store unless I ask for them. And that is the way it goes. So there's not this like imbalance. Yeah, I'm I'm with that. I mean, that's fine with me. And I got a label maker. So I'm gonna put it to good use. You're gonna label Yeah, I will. Let's get to the news. I think, sorry for both of us. I guess whatever, I'm sorry. What do you mean you guess I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude, I don't have my own. Um, okay, I hope you're having all the swells out there. And uh, today's Wednesday. You know what that means, Nick, It's Thursday. No, it's Wednesday. Damn it. I always I almost got it, alright. Student athletes from Cambridge University compiled a racy calendar where they pose naked to raise money for health awareness. So these people that are athletes at Cambridge, which I think is a pretty Yeah, that's a that's one of those Ivy Oxford kind of thing. Yeah, that's Oxford, Harvard, Cambridge, Yale. I mean, here's the thing a little bit right. You're an athlete, you've got a great body, you want to show it off, and then you go, hey, this is for charity, which is a bigger cause. I don't want to hate it. I don't hate it. Anything that anything charitable. If you're naked for it, good. If you're not, fine, like we can look at this stuff all day long and go, oh, it's just people, you know, me performing with Bruce Springsteen and John Stewart. Every I'm on this red carpet and I keep getting asked, what why is tonight so important for you? Because it's it's an event for the troops, for veterans, injured veterans and their families. I had did I did? You know? I had to actually dig deep and go why is this important to be other than this lineup is insane? And I wanted to be here and get wasted by h Bruce Springsteen, which is what my brother in law calls when a guy grabs your waist. He's like, I saw you get wasted by Bruce, And I'm like, that's so funny. W A I S T E D. So steal that and use that get waste. I got wasted by Bruce Springsteen. And you know, I could say all day I do this, because I really I took I took a flight to New York's City on my day off and uh flew here and add hair and makeup, done all this stuff so I could perform for the veterans. Yeah, I'm glad it's a good cause, but like whatever, But but but great, that's that's the type of the event that they throw to get big comedians, that will get big donors to show up and donate money. So whether or not I'm doing it for the right reasons, which I did end up really thinking about it and being like, oh, this foundation is fucking awesome. This is going to make me think more charitably and be in that mind. But whatever, my reason for being there was so what I didn't get paid. I was there giving something that earned money for veterans and their families. If you were doing something for charity like these college kids are, it's basically all the athletes stripped down naked and they pose for this calendar together. If you have to do something where you and Andrew, let's say, had to strip down naked, the thing is, no one makes you if you have to, that's a different story. But this is the idea, you know, Like if Andrew and I put out a calendar where we're naked calendar and it's all for charity, or I did an I was thinking of doing an only fans with feats or whatever, or just like hot pictures or like tippics whatever, and donating all the money people could still say I'm just doing it for the attention. I don't need the money. But is that does that mean it's not good if you make it artsy, it's different. What about FARTSI even better smelly? No, but you know what I mean, Like, like there's something about like if you pose like this, if you're naked and there's just a little kit the picture, then it's suddenly art. And if you do it yeah, so if you did it selfe. So if you didn't do it on only fans, right, you set up your own charity page, you go here, I'm not doing only fans. I'm doing this very artistic. You get a very good photographer, but you show your tits, but they're like maybe they're covered in like a little bit of paint or something like the dog tags on my nipples veterans. Yeah, and you're getting well or yeah, or you're giving money to dogs that needs to be tagged or or whatever whatever it is. But you just make it a little classy. People will still call you out. People still say it's like you, I wouldn't do it just because it would make People would say Nikki just thinks she's hot and wants to like show off. I'd rather just do it and like what I gotta have to do? You know I used to do a joke about it. I should bring it back about Peter. When they asked me to do they wrote me, and we're like, I've always wanted Peter to acknowledge that I'm a vegan and like animal rights champion and that sounds like I have won something, But I just a champion animal rights. It's more of a verb than a noun. But um, but the fact that or I guess adjective if I'm a champion, but I don't know anymore. But anyway, um, I guess it's a noun. So um. When they asked me, I thought I was going to get to do one of those I wouldn't. I'd rather go naked than wear fur where you get to put with your tits out and and it's for the animals. I don't really want to, but this is like a campaign, like you have to do this. And instead they asked me if I wanted to do dress as a sheep where sheep costume like a big baggy sheep, a disheveled, grumpy sheep, and say, um, you know, don't you know your wool coat uses. It hurts me and I'm just like a bloody kind of disgruntled old sheep. And I literally when I got the email, was like here it comes ready, Like I started like sucking in and kind of sitting up straight and find the email. It's so upsetting. It reminds me of like when a hot reality guy asked you to do a podcast instead of fucking it gets the same kind. So many times this happens to me where I get asked where I think it's going to be. Something like when Gloves of Tanko I went to that I Heart Awards with him and he was like, Nikki, you know Atten was Stars coming back September. I was like yeah, and He's like, um, you know, uh, I talked to Uh. I talked what's her name? I talked to the booker of Dancing with Stars. You know what Nicky? You know she said she because I said, I told I told her I Dina, I'm going to I heard a words with Nikki Glazer and you know, she said to me, she said, you know, thinking about this next season you and Nikki. And I was like, what, no way, because Glove knows I want to go back. I go no way. He goes yes, Nikky, yes, and I was like shut up and he was like you. She said, you and Nikki look for your next partner at the wards. Maybe you find her. I I aged like seven years in that sense at by the end of that sent can I ask a question if you went back on Dancing with the Stars, would you feel more pressure or less? Because if you got voted off first again, it would be so funny. Now I'd feel less. I would feel so free. I would kill it whether I was on one episode or not, I would fucking kill it. It It would be amazing. This is what I got. We're big fans of yours and love everything you do to promote a vegan lifestyle. That, um, here's what we know. We'll get people's attention and really help this campaign. We want to dress you in a lazy slash funny sheep costume and have you talked? Have you talked to the camera, And it's very straightforward and dryway to tell people, Hey, I'm a sheep and that we'll you're wearing is actually mine. We'll develop the script and work on it with you to tweak it so it's just right an on brand for you. Thanks and warms regards. Let me know what you think. Thanks and warms regards, Rachel Peter. Where you wrote back, I wrote back to my My agents gave it to me. I go, I don't love this creative, but I would love to work with them in another way. Winky and then and then never got anything back, like let me just hold them all t's in front of my vagina. They'd rather be not spread the word about how far is bad than joke? All right? Next story, um president, no, no, I'm sorry. And Amazon worker, I don't know if you've seen this video. Uh. He went viral in October after a woman was filmed leaving the back of his truck. Said the attention to video received him. Whoa wait, So he was hooking up on the job and like in the neighborhood when he's delivering packages, and someone it and he got fired. That's what happened. My box? Well, he said, no boxes were missing from the truck, and then he got fired because the video went viral or the photo whatever. You shouldn't have stranger like people in your truck when they could take things put. Amazon will gladly just give you another one if like you don't get your box. Have you ever not gotten something from Amazon or had it been the wrong thing? You literally make a complaint and they're just it is cheap. They did a study, this is fucked up. They put sensors on things that were returned to Amazon, and the sensors all ended up in a landfill because it is more expensive for them to restock things than to just throw it in the trash. And so when you return something Amazon, it ends up in the trash. So how many of those Amazon workers are getting laid in their office? When you call them, you go, my package didn't arrive, They'll send you another that guy's office though, you know what I mean? Like, well, haven't you ever had sex? Sex? Yeah? Yeah? Have I yeah? I mean I've masturbated at a dog owner's house. That's not really that's sexual. But you've had sex in an office? Right? Yes? And you risk everything of theirs because you hoste the show. They can't really get rid of you just getting but not um, just get get um. Yeah, I've I've had sex in office and in places. It's so fun. And I wouldn't do it now because I'm like an adult and I realized that that's that's I would do it again. That was a lie. I just lied to you guys. I would do it again my girlfriend, I would do that. Yes, it wouldn't even be a question. I'm so tired of people saying, like calling people out for things that they absolutely would do. And like that's what the guy was saying. He's like, I did what any American man would do. Like his girlfriend shows UP, lets her into the truck. Nothing went missing. All packages got when ups, UPS should come out and go, not only are we gonna hire you, We're going to give you a bed in our truck. And it would be such good promotion for them because because Amazon's kicking their ads right now. I'm sure, well I think um or maybe UPS delivered. I think I must bring your girlfriend to work your dick day at at Amazon. So I think he was actually following the UM yeah. I mean so many people are bringing their girlfriends to work, like I've done an ubers and there's been like friends in the front seat of the person driving. That's the best. What is the I do? And I go is this school and they're like yeah, And I'm like, okay, I guess it is because you seem comfortable. Um, good for that guy. Man, if you need a job, I don't know anyone, but good luck. Let's take a break and come back with why do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care? Paul dh sexiest man alive? No, No, not that he needed to get a woman with his car yesterday, No anyone sexiest No, fifty two years old actor jokes. I'm going to lean into it hard. I'm going to own this. I'm not going to try to be like, oh, I'm so he is. I mean it pays to be a family man and a nice looking guy that doesn't seem like you abuse women in Hollywood. Yes, okay, I learned something from Paul Rodd the other It's a camera trick that he did on the Graham Norton Show that was on Reddit. I don't want to see if I can do it? Are you photoing me? Yeah? Hold on? Oh wait, how did he do that? Now I'm looking at him like, how the fund did he do that? Oh? I think it's like that. Okay, Oh here we go. Okay, um, what is the trick? Wait? You'll see I'm taking so I'll tell you how to do it in a second. I just wanted to do it and a hat on. Hold On, I guess, hold on, I'm putting my finger in front of hold on, how did he fucking do that? Okay, now I see Okay, so look look which way? Okay, all right, so I'm gonna zoo. I'm gonna oh this sucks. Um he does he put his finger in front of the camera and it looks like whoever's like, it looks like you're about to blow someone. Okay, Look doesn't that look like an ass that you're about to go down on? Oh? I see above my head. Yeah, the ass is my finger? Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to crop it a little bit would have been funnier. Yes, But he didn't. He didn't. You gotta check Paul Paul run on the Graham Norton Show. He did this amazing iPhone trick. Or he puts his finger in front of the camera and it will make whoever you're taking picture of look like they're about to blow a guy with like a huge ass and a big, big gap. But he's so cool and like you know, obviously classically the the young. He never ages and all those things. He's so and he is sexy. Could win at two women a lot. I think they do it just to be like, you know, we're like we're honoring older women because we have to kind of thing legit sexy. Yeah. Like I I feel like, not that I've seen him a few times. Have you met him before? No, I haven't. You've seen him in person? Yeah, and in Tribeca, And I mean, he's just a He's a handsome guy. He just looks like the every day I was so cute and clueless we might get Marky Mark to plant the celebrity tree. When he says that on Clueless, that is the line where I was just like, God, he's so adorable. He tilts his head when he's driving, goes, yeah, I have a tree people meeting later and shares like, oh my god, what's your tree people meeting about? Or whatever, and he's like, we might get Marky Mark to plant the celebrity tree. And she's like, oh, Marky Mark taking time out of this pants dropping settle, not knowing that later on Mark Walbert's a huge star. But at the time Marky Mark was ridiculous. Um, he's so adorable. He was so even in UM. I was reminded of him his first up in Yeah, and then he was in Romeo and Juliet. He played uh the guy that was Juliet's parents trying to set her up with Paris. I think his name is but he he was in the Brittany Murphy documentary when they showed her bouncing around and clueless and all the roles she's had, and uh, like, yeah, I just I that that documentary. Holy fucking shit. I loved it so much and I'm still thinking about it and haunted by it and her. Um. But yeah, Paul reads so key out and seems like a nice guy. Um. Sexiest Man Alive, Like, don't really care about who gets that doesn't really Sexiest Woman Alive. I don't even think they do it. Do they say most fifty most Beautiful People? They do that. They'll do Woman of the Year. That's Time magazine. But I don't think they do Sexiest Woman Alive. But maybe they do. Man. I was just on some account today that was like a deep dive of like Kylie Jenner and like what she looked like before and the hot deeds, like how they've changed. There's this thing you can get where you get threads like in your forehead and it pulls back your eyes so that you look like hot deeds, and I think that's what they do, is like the thread lifting. And I really I'm not opposed to doing some stuff. I was, you know, I had a good, good showing on the Red Carpet the other night, and I've looked at the pictures and I go, oh, you know, I'm getting a little bit older. I can see it. I was watching Jennifer Aniston on the Morning Show the other day and I was like, I'm getting a kind of an ant fifty old Anniston vibe in my thirties. And that's fine, but like I can see things, things were falling. I'm okay with it, but it's definitely I definitely look different, like it's inevitable. I don't know why I keep thinking it's not. You know, we're going to age. I think happened. I like how I look now more than I do twenties. I gotta say that I feel like you look just I mean it sounds cheesy, but like just as good or younger than when I met you three years ago. Yes, I look back at pictures and stuff like I I feel fine about myself, and I think it really is as cheesy as it is. Its being like it's from within, and it's like I'm more comfortable with myself to it. Just I saw Kylie Jenner too before she got all the work done at no boo U, no yes, and no over lip. She had like she had like a skeleton like imo, Like she was black hair, she was insanely pale, she was tall, but she was For her to go from no lip to that lip, I'm like, anything could be done with your lip, Like I was just studying it today being like, God, I kind of want to try some stuff. I don't know she would she be would you be funny if you had these big duck lips? A funny looking And also I don't care about like I know, but what do you think it looks hot? I've seen it's not even like I want, Oh my god, more people will like me and I'll be more successful. It's just like a new haircut. No one gets mad when a girl does a new haircut to look better. Why do they get mad when she does lips to get better? No? Uh, did I just make a good point. Yeah, hair can be grown back, yeah, but lips can be shrunk back. That's the case. That's the thing, Like she must have to get it yeah, I just feel you're the thing. I do think, like there's certain surgeries that you can't come back from with with that, certain women have done, certain lives, certain face lives where there's like you buy a home, you can't come back from that. No one goes, oh, you bought this home, like that's a that's a life changing decision. Of course, yes you can sell it and you can move on, but like that could bankrupt you in a way, like that bankrupt your face. And people don't get mad at people for doing that. I'm not mad. I mean, I'm just fucking angry. No, I I honestly like I want I just it's not about mad. It's like I would feel hurt if you were hurt for making a decision like that. Yes, I would feel hurt too, and I would I would only do it if I knew how bad it could be, and like I'd be okay with the consequences, you know, like I could still love myself even if this went completely wrong, Like what if I did. I mean, if it if it's something that if it was like it's the same as buying shoes, like if you like a new pair of shoes, if that's what you want not what anyone wants to look like, but if that's what you want to look like, go ahead and be it. Okay, let's play Wild Card Wednesday. Are you just look like you're having an allergic reaction or crying and wiping your face? Yeah? Um, noah, what is the game we're playing today? Today? We're playing Finish my Sentence. Yes, that's where we try to finish each other's sentences, thinking of what we would say for this and what is the sentence that we're completing. Okay, I could talk for hours about and the disclaimer is you can't answer golf and you can't answer Taylor Swift. Okay, I'm gonna do Noah first, I'm gonna be Noah. Oh I'm in this too. Yeah. You just got in. You just got you got you conducted into the Finish my Line Hall of Fame. Okay, Wait, I could talk. I could talk for hours about um well jiu jitsu, I think, but I could talk for hours about what what moving to Arizona has done for my life and what positive effects just doing the hard thing and standing up for myself has done for my life and like and by the way, that was sounded like me making fun of you. But no, I like talking about that stuff too, and I love that you can expound on those topics now, So m uh that seems mean. So anyways, I was, um, I don't really have many things to say. I'm a little nervous about this. But my house. I love talking about my house. I don't know. I never talked about my house. No, you don't say one thing about her house. She always says, I don't know what to do with the house. I own a house now and I don't name one detail of her house. She bought a house. I think you talk about your house. No, I could talk Okay, Andrew, Wait, there's no way. Yeah, so I lost. Nicky won that round. That's like totally thing I have to say. Okay, Andrew, do you want to do me? Um, you go first. I could talk for hour. I'm Andrew. I could talk for hours about people who do fucking ship that just like it's just like some people's like fucking they're fucking like the way they fucking say some stuff like sometimes like the way people fucking talk it just makes me want to fucking fucking kill them, and a fucking just like I hate the way people like, why do you have to be the fucking way that sometimes just like the way people fucking just talk. It's just like, that's that's what you can talk about. I don't even know what you're saying, but it's the way you fucking do this thing when they fucking do this, And I think that's a side maybe that people don't know of you, but like you can get pretty upset about this fucking posts that these guys do. I think they're so fucking cool. You can talk about guys, Yeah, people, You can talk a lot about people who think they're cool essentially. Yeah, kind of things you see on TikTok. All right, no, do you want to do me? Well? I was going to say stuff that you see people doing on your Instagram feed that annoys you, right, that annoys you or you like or just like just like what other people are doing on't you head of the like thing as it went to be winter Winter chicken dinner, um ship. I mean, I know that's the thing. It's like I'm trying to find something that's like you've enough to answer this. For some reason, I read the Hi I'm Niki. Hi, I'm Nikki, and I like to talk about Stocks. I love nas dec I lovedal love how it goes up and go down. It goes up and then it goes down, and then I think about how that affects my life and how what gave me a great line the other day about dal Jones down syndrome. Wait, wait down when it comes to stocks, you have down syndrome, down syndrome. Yes, guys, look for that line in my acts. That's really good. No. I was going to do it the other night and I forgot to do it, but that was such a good bit. It was about like certain apps on your phone that you will never get rid of, even because I'm just talking about like when you when you remove an app, they all are like, are you going to delete me? And you go, no, You're You're okay, Calculator, like you can't. I can't delete you Stocks, I can't delete you. Trying to think of what's a good example of an app that like you absolutely I feel like Starbucks will always be there for you. What's what can I look at your apps on your phone real quick when we move into final thought, Yeah, for sure, final thought, Here look at my app if you want to as well. Nothing really that great, though, wait, let me see yours. Oh you know what I might do this weekend? Well, so all too well, um or sorry. Taylor Swift is coming out with her red re release, and UM, I might do I might start a um YouTube page of me reacting to Taylor Swift things I've never done, like a reaction. But all you have to do is watch it and just say is ship. You know what you can do on TikTok You can do duets where it's like on the side. I yan yang, I might do that. What's beyond menu? I'm looking at your apps? Um, I don't know it, says b M. Is that just a way to log your ships a log log? Um? Okay, you have task Rabbit, which I'm guessing you have not used ever, how much do you use ESPN? I need a task rabbit to get my task rabbit? H Espn, I give that a decent amount. You have nothing really that crazy here? M flixter could go flickster, can go erase that bitch? Right now? I want to look at your activity? Can I see it? Because I told you to turn it on? S time? Okay? Okay, daily average you're doing eight hours twenty seven minutes. That um, Instagram. You're spending Oh god, I don't even want I'm gonna go to day. I was on week. TikTok. You're on to wait on eight hours for a week. Uh no, no, no, no day dude, today, let's go to days. That's yesterday. It was your day off, you know, ish right? Yeah? Um, yesterday you did eight hours and fifteen minutes on your phone. Do you go to mind? Yeah? So you have the you have Sephora, you have the Arch, the Arch. Yeah, that's some of the very morning. I mean you have a lot of smart things. You have like New York Times. Do you have the New York You have the New Yorker? Yea, all the New York the New York Post. Then we have like ninety airplanes, Airbnb, Car Gurus, car Guru, it's just a great car app when you're looking for a used car. What's so It's up? You know a clothing brand that I don't actually use that clue? Clue? Is um? A period tracker app? Yeah? I'm a higher fertility day. I had to take the morning what is it? Pet finer? Looking for a bird? Okay, that's like you know a dating app for birds. Letting go letting Go is a an app where you it's it's a it's alan On Literature, which is I'm not an alan On, but it's um. It's a great little daily reader, and so if you open it, it'll tell you, like today's lesson. It just teaches you about how like accept yourself and accept others. And some days I just like need it. And yeah, okay, So your Instagram yesterday you were on, that was your most used one two hours and ten minutes. YouTube um an hour and for seven minutes, TikTok our nine minutes, Google Maps fifty eight minutes, so I'm guessing you were just had that up while that can count. And then messages thirty three minutes, Safari thirty one minutes, Gmail twenties two minutes. And then we go on and it gets you know, ESPN three minutes, um, strip chat dot com really five minutes. I wonder what that's from porn hub six minutes. That's exactly how long it takes me to come. That's hilarious. Wait, go to minutes a day yesterday that it took me five minutes on strip chat. Strip chat came before first of all. Strip Chat. I'm just saying, like I don't chat. It was at six am that came up. Probably was at six am. Yeah, I was early riser. Wait, let me see wait where is yours? I'll find it. Oh my god, your phone is so tiny. I like it. Yeah, that's a cuteie. Okay, screen time, Um, you know what it is though, and I'm not just like saying strip check comes up when you put a porn hub. That makes sense. Okay, So it was six minutes. Um, I want to go to a day off. Um, so I have to go back to two thousand eight. Oh yeah, because when um, no, I'll go to um. Yesterday I was ten hours and fifty eight minutes on my phone. Now, let me break that down for you, because that is not what you think it is. Most used messages was yeah, yeah, please, here we go. That doesn't Hold on, wait a second, this doesn't make sense for ten hours, I mean, what the funk was That doesn't make sense? Oh? This is doing show categories. Okay, wait what was my Instagram? Was that? Wait? More than two hours? Okay, hold on, but this is no Instagram was three hours and three up to This doesn't add up to ten hours. I don't even know what I was doing on Instagram. I feel like I'm on TikTok wait more, maybe it does. No, this does not add up to ten hours. There's no way that this is ten hours. So I think all the extra time was my white app noise show today. Why is not that that could be it if you have your phone running overnight. Yes, that's that's why I have these kinds of numbers. Um for sure. But oh, I see because I was doing social All right, here we go, so today, then we're going to go yesterday ten hours and fifty eight minutes, um three four five. That's only five hours? What was the rest doing? This doesn't make sense. But you can just read my times. It was not ten hours. You can read all my times there. All right, your top is Reddit an hour and ten minutes, now do you Okay? Go to bed Instagram fifty nine minutes. It's not bad at all. Ways. Is your thing camera thirty six minutes? That's surprising. I think I was editing. Um oh, I was getting photos from the Bruce Bruce Springsteen thing and I was like editing photos. And this is my favorite part so far. You got camera, You got a camera thirty six to four Safari twenty books. At least I read for a fifteen minutes yesterday. That's not bad. I know, it's just funny. It's just even you don't even know what well. I was on the plane and that's when I fell asleep. Was fifteen minutes of reading reading. I'm reading, um god, what was it? It was David Spate's book. I'm rereading What's r tr rent a runway? Okay? Snap seed? That's a photo editing. I mean other than that, you're not You didn't do any porn yesterday? No, no, no, I don't. I haven't had time to jerk off recently. But you're getting laid I am. It's pretty nice. I mean nothing now is really jumps out at me. Here note seventeen seconds, so you're writing a lot. I wrote down something I would love to see. What is I with? Seventeen seconds? Wrotes that's Nikki's writing process. That was from today. Oh it was a new word that I put in that I just learned in Susian. Oh. I like that. Yeah, it sounds like do you know what it means? Yeah? Um, neither do I. Um, I have to look it up. It says, showing a casual lack of concern said something fake because studio. The other day, my mom said, we have to go to aunt Lynd's house and we're going to go there and surmise the situation. She said, I let it go. The first time she goes, we just gotta go there and surmise the situation. And I go, I gotta say, that's not the right word. And she goes, yeah, my dad, she's going to surmise situation. I go, no, it's not and he goes, uh, Sirie, give me the definition of surmise. And it was like to um, guess about something that you don't know. It's like I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna surve I'm going to guess. I will surmise that you are thinking that something I don't know. So for my mom to go walk into Len's place and surmise, so you mean assess and she goes yes. And so even today she goes, we're over here surmising. It sounds like she's like trying to figure like the detective work, I'm figure out how your aunt passed away. I just love when someone gets a new word that they're just they're a little trigger happy on I've never done I swear to god, I've never learned a new word and used it like daring conversation. Yeah, like where I'm like, hey, look at this word. Maybe you seem like someone who would like new words. Erroneous, I like that word. You don't seem like someone at all, it was seriously, Andrew, you seem like someone who like has a just thirst and for new vocabulary and complex concepts. Al Right, guys, thank you so much for listening to the show. We gotta go. Oh my god, Luigi when we are wrapping things up. He's so cute. Guys, check out our video. If to watch Luigi, watch the podcast. Um It's on YouTube now. Please go watch and support us to get our numbers up on there. We would love it. Um rate and review us. Just subscribe over there. That would be awesome. And thank you so much for listening to the podcast. Thank you for being with us during our little argument today. It means so much to us that you still put up with us despite us being imperfect. And I feel the same way about you, guys. Um, I love you, Thank you, and we'll see tomorrow. Don't be kid and Jack the Snowman wait Jack Frost Jack name Jack or frosty talk sure,