#109 It's A Party w/ Kerstin!

Published Sep 28, 2021, 1:00 AM

Between you and Nikki, her BFF from 4th grade and beyond Kerstin, fills the Venn diagram of comedy. After a fun weekend of hometown shows, Kerstin stayed over and the group is broadcasting in their robes. They talk about besties, Kerstin's version of becoming friends with Nikki and the new season of Love on The Spectrum. You Heard it Here First, don't complain about the most hated fast food chain, the reason one cheats can affect the quality cheating and relationships that work. They fess their most basic bitch top and bottoms before closing out the show.

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The Nicky Glazer. Yes, nick, here's Nikki here. I am hello. Welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Monday morning here in St. Louis, Missouri. UM, if you're watching the YouTube feed, I'm wearing a robe. Um it's a robe day. I just felt like it. We have a special guest on the show who has a matching robe, so we decided to match my best friend from fourth grade and on um Kirsten, who many of you already know. You've heard her on my previous podcast You Up, and she was on my serious show You Up. I talked about her all the time on here. She's like my funniest first friend, UM and still kind of the funniest person ever. She's been here, she's been staying with me all weekend, and I gotta I gotta be honest. There are times where I'm like, will you just fill in for me? Like you? She's given me so many good ideas for for bits. She just thinks in a way she thinks with a comedian's mind of like observing little things that you go, oh my god. She really just, like you know, um, articulated that annoying thing that I didn't even know that I that I do know, you know, as I say this on stage, but a comedian's job we have if we're doing the ven diagram of what a comedian does. A good comedian, Um, the idea that something is funny is when something is extremely true. So that's one circle is it's true, like the most true thing ever, right, and then the other circle is you hadn't thought of it before, like the general public hadn't thought of it before. So if you're able to get those perfectly one circle, you have the best joke ever. If you you could either do one of one of each, you know, like you could be in just the true thing and sometimes that's funny enough, or you could just be in the never thought of it before, but the reaction you went from a crowd. At least I do. And what I think causes laughter laughter is a response that we have. I mean, the evolutionary theory I think behind it is that when you laugh, like it makes a loud noise and it's um scarce, it will scare away something. So it's something that you do in response to surprise. UM. That's why a lot of people laugh when they when something traumatic is happening. UM, like you know when Louis apparently, you know, like allegedly took out his penis and the girls laughed. Everyone kind of goes, uh, well, why were they laughing? They then they enjoyed it. It's like no, they were like scared. And that's what you do in response to like something scary. When I hit a garbage van with my car when I was sixteen, I put my car in park after I hit him, and I started laughing because I was just like that was did that happen? I was just like like there there. Then came the tears and the guilt and the reef and everything, but like my first reaction was like laughter. It was really bizarre. But it also shows your teeth, which you know, when we were dealing with predators and things, if you bare your teeth, that's a sign of aggression, to be like, back off, you're surprising me, and I'm trying to scare you away. Like nothing scared someone away more than someone cackling needlessly. But you laugh when you're surprised, right, And so the best response from an audience member is to go is to have them whispered, just to go, oh my god, that's so true. You do that I do that. I didn't even realize I did that. That's why, Like, there's one joke I'm doing right now in my act that is so disgusting Noah, Like I can't even say what it is because I don't want to ruin it because I think it's gonna go in my special. But it is so such a bad image. But it's true and no one can deny it's true. And that's the that's the joy I have in it where I go, you know, I don't want to do that joke, not trying to like make you guys go like, oh my god. I like it because it's something that is true for almost every single human in the world. I found something that no one has thought of that is true for every single human. That is seriously crazy and um and I but but the thing a lot of comedians, I think before comedians become comedians, I have memories a lot of real life like this particular joke. It's a disgusting joke, like truly incestually disgusting, right, Um. But I thought of it probably in like third grade, like made the realization of like, oh my god, this if that's true, then that's oh my god. And I remember thinking that maybe, like every human has probably arrived at this realization, but you just don't say because it's so gross. But I just thought we all like kind of knew it but didn't talk about it. And then I mean, this is in my act too, because I kind of deconstruct the bit because I don't ever want people to think I'm just doing jokes to shock people, and this thing is so shocking that it's almost seems like that, especially as a female comic, like you just get so much ridicule and criticism for like she's just you'll be talking about sucks, which people think is easy to get laughs, which sometimes it is because it's taboo equals surprising equals easy laughter. It's you know, it's like sprinkling your act with fuck or sprinkling your act with Listen, you guys are not gonna like this. No, no, no, tell us we're gonna like it. You guys know the tricks of the edge. Um, but I uh, yeah, I have to go into this whole like deconstruction of this joke because I feel so guilty that it's so gross and everyone in the crowd is just like, and I go, but that's our job. Is to I go that ven diagram, I kind of describe it. I go, that is that's a full circle right there, like that that joke, And are certain things like that in my life that I've stumbled upon, Like the skeletons are always laughing. That's something that like has always been there and I'm sure other people have thought of it positive that someone else has been like, it's funny that skeletons always look like they're smiling, or burn victims always look like they're smiling, which is ironic because skeletons are are dead people and burn victims are you know, badly injured people generally, why would they be like it's it's it's funny because it's ironic because like when you have no lists, it looks like you're siling constantly. Um. I don't know what my point is, um, but skeletons are always like laughing and yeah, there's they're all just as do you ever just think like, oh my god, I don't want to die and like be in a grave, like you'll be just like very happy. You've never seen a weepie skeleton, um or a depressed skeleton. Uh, that's it actually sounds like a children's book The Depressed Skeleton. Um, well, I was in in college. I think you were talking about, um, Kirsten being like the ven Diagram of comedy than me. Yeah, and just like this weekend, Noah, did you see my stories where we were making fun of Instagram. I'm I was obsessed and how like naturally you both were at it a little too good. The thing is we're not the first ones to mock this like faux sincerity. Um. Kind of like like the presentation that your life is cozy and perfect and you're just like you're you're a cute girl, but you're like trying to be like you're not. Like that's been mocked endlessly. Like there's so many you know, Instagram accounts just making fun of these things. What Kirsten does so brilliantly, and she did it when we were at dinner on Friday night, was that she did this. She did a selfie where I think she was looking at her eyebrows or something. She was trying to like see something on her face, and she just took a picture where she was kind of just like like kind of like making like up with your face and she goes, doesn't this look like a post where someone would be like, guys, I've really thought a lot about my life this week, and I challenge all of you to really contemplate and take a break for yourself. And it was just like the way it was just such a you know that captain might fit something like a girl looking listlessly out of window, that would be like the easy joke. But a goofy face like that, like that is such a thing girls do that is so subtly like fake. But I've always said that when celebrities do face masks, you know, well, well they'll do like a wacky like green algae mask and their hair will be up like in a messy bond or whatever. They're like, oh my god, I'm so vulnerable and I'm showing this like wacky side, and I'm like, guess what your whole face is. There's nothing vulnerable about that. That is not no makeup. That's extra, that's clown makeup, and like you're you're not being ugly, and like, that's not ugly. That's like putting on a Halloween mask and being like, aren't I vulnerable? I just hate the if someone's not aware of what they're doing, fine, but if someone knows what they're doing, Like I've recently heard about someone that started carcass is so humiliating. I mean, I don't even know how you'd live with yourself if you did this. It's like it's so cat. My friend told me about this couple she knows that like started an Instagram account for like their business or whatever, and they both create fake accounts to like log on and write like fire emojis underneath their businesses, like not their business, but they're like they're brand. It's not even a business, the brand, you know, it's like their couple brand. And they'll do like they'll they'll get people, they'll make fake accounts to put fire emojis under their Like how sad would you be to put a fire emoji under your own picture? Would would you? I mean there's got to be something inside you that is like so ashamed by that. I mean, listen, I've done very shameful things and like you know, selfish things and that are gross and just deplorable. Like you know, I'm I used to wake up every morning with you know, eleven to seventeen protein bar rappers in my bed because I ate all night long in bed, because I starved all day. Collecting those rappers in the morning was truly humiliating in a way that I can't even tell you. And I didn't, you know, I used to talk about it on my last podcast, but I'd say, oh, it's four rappers. It was honestly so many more than that, and I could joke about like the kind of truth, but the real truth was so much sadder and uglier, and I felt so much deep shame doing that. I guess it's the same thing as as putting a fire emoji on your own account, because it's something that I was doing to handle the deep sadness I felt in my soul that um or to cover up feelings that I didn't want to have, and people looking for validation outwardly and creating brands. Some may argue they're creating a brand to get money for their family, so for their loved ones, that's different. But this seems to be about like getting people to like you, which is the same as you know, food addiction. It's just filling a hole because you're not enough. I was just talking to Kristen about this about exactly what we started talking about. No about like you know, over the weekend, I was filming with all these cameras that are now in my life, and I'll talk about that as well on the show this week. I'm sure i'll get to that. I can't wait till we've freaking announced it and I can just be out with it. But you guys get it. Um. But this weekend they were filming Kirsten and I getting ready for my show on Saturday night, which I also talk about. I did a local show here, fucking insane, by the way, I met so many stees. I just I can't even I go, like, honestly, it's my heart is too full. This weekend, I feel like I'm going to barf. My heart's gonna barf because I am filled with uh just love for people and people who listen, who are listening right now, I love you. Um. But Chris and I were getting ready and I was talking about how funny she is and how thank god, you know I would say about my sister, thank god she didn't pursue modeling, because I couldn't have handled that, like the attention she would have gotten if she would have pursued what she kind of everyone thought she would do, Like she didn't need the spotlight. Thank god, for that, I wouldn't have survived it. I wouldn't have been a good Salange. And Kirsten was is so funny that she if she wanted to, she could, she would be you. She would be famous right now, you guys, without question. If she had the drive to be loved by strangers that I'd had, she would be famous. But no, what we were talking about this morning? And I go, but you didn't want that, And she goes, well, I think we handled trauma diffly because we both were traumatized um by you know, our friend killing himself. She much, I would say more so, because she was more connected to him and who you know, for a myriad reasons, dealt with a lot more bullshit from that death than I did. But we both took that tragedy. I got anorectic, She got you know, she just kind of got party girl, threw herself into like socializing. But the thing is, I was like, no, I don't think that's it. Kirsten, Like even before David's death, you didn't seek being popular. You became popular and kind of left me behind at one point because you were just so great to be around. People wanted to be around you. I had this desperation to be popular, not because I wanted to be friends with those people because they looked fond to hang out with, but because it would mean that more people would like me and envy me. It was like I didn't have self esteem. You did. And then we got talking about it, and I was like, like I was angry that I wasn't born a model, and like I was you know, I've talked about it before and this is so stupid because you're probably going, NICKI you're beautiful and all that. I'm so grateful for what I was given, and I'm and I don't think this way anymore, but I used to be so angry, like, you know, why wasn't I born a a gym with a gymnast body or whatever. Every point in my life there was something I wanted and it was like it's not fair. And of course I'm like, uh, white, like tall, lanky kid, like I have nothing. I had nothing to really complain about, but it was just I was never enough and it was never gonna be enough, you know, like no matter what I looked like, I was always going to feel that way because, you know, because I just had low self esteem and she didn't and I think that's what it comes down to. I'm so glad she had self esteem and didn't need to fulfill it by being a performer, because she has it in her Dude, she is so freaking funny. Even yesterday when we were filming, I went to a recording studio yesterday and and recorded my first song, um and it's so good but so awesome, happy way for you to hear it. I can't wait. Yeah, Matt Pond wrote it, um Anya, and Matt produced it for me and helped me with my voice. And I just heard it today and it sounds so good. It sounds like I'm a professional, Like it's beautiful. You know, I'm not a good singer, Like I'm not the best singer. I'll say that I'm good. But what I was able to do was like Matt wrote a song for me that really I connected to, and I was able to like channel the emotions behind it, which is I think more than half of what makes a voice listenable is like the you hear the emotions behind it. So I was able to do that. But yesterday we had the idea for me to just do impressions of different sing the song but with different people's like do Gaga, Now do arian A Grande, Now do one Steffanie, And I was like, you know, who's going to be better at this than me? Cursed in and she came in and did the on the East run of Like I was just going through my Spotify going Rihanna Baronney, good Ladies, Uh, Ryan Adams, uh Snoop Dogg. And she was doing all of them. She's a great impressionist. She can just do it right away. You'll see it on the show. She may be a little nervous today, so I don't want to talk her up too much, but she's just so funny, and it's nice to just be able to go. It's nice to be able to give her a spotlight now because I don't although there is still a part of a tiny part of me that goes, god, wid didn't I think of that? First? I realized that she's I. I think of things that she doesn't think of, like I'm funny in my own way that she's not, even though I do think she's funnier and that's obviously subjective. Um, what an amazing weekend we had. Thank you to all the besties that came out to the show in St. Louis at the Factory. There were tons of them there. I met some of you after the show, you know how I feel about you. Um, everyone was coming everyone that. There was a lot of my friends and like, you know, people working on this camera project that's following me around. And they were all like you just like light up around your fans like you just you seem to like really genuine. You give them so much. And I'm like it's not and they go, are you exhausted? Because they were hundreds of people for me to meet and they're like, are you exhausted? I was like, not at all, Like that was my I wish I could just go do meet and greets instead of a show because it was so fun to talk to you guys. And I'll talk to Andrew about who we ran into. I ran into one fan this weekend that was truly, uh an incredible experience. One bestie. I'm sure she's listening right now. Um, let's get him in here. Andrew. Hey, Andrew, Hey, Roby, I love that you are wearing a shirt underneath the robe. You didn't want to go what is the chestnut in the tip top shape? Honestly, I didn't even think about. I thought you went under there, and then I no, boy, no boy, girl, Yeah, no, I want T shirt underneath. Is that not appropriate? Now? It's robe day. It does it's it's anything you want. It's kind of like wearing a T shirt in the pool. Also wearing a hat with a robe. Not many people do that. Well, let's don't The hat is in the third are you know secondary and third dairy to the belt? Yeah, I wanted to class up the joint the Can we show the belt on camera? If if you don't know, we are on YouTube right now so you can see um this episode, Will you know, take a little bit more time to get up. Um. I think they're all delayed a couple of days. But thank you so much to everyone who's been watching the shows on YouTube. Have you been watching the shows on YouTube? Andrew, I have checked them out. Are you reading the comments? I've seen some comments. Yeah, they're all positive except for one JT L one oh four s having go funk itself? Oh really? Is that really? How fun was Saturday night? Saturday Night was? I thought, are you like thinking about what day that was? It was the show? I honestly thought you were talking about the dinner that we had that was really fun too. You went to the dinner with me, Kristen. We talked about the camera following you. Yeah, I've just been saying that cameras are following me, but I can't say for what. But I think people can kind of well that they see us around town. I'm like, what are they going to take it away? Please? Well, then let me just talk about it more, because god, damn, my my life is No I'm actually loving it. Okay, Well, they're going to have to take down the lights in our house too. They leave those fast forward. And I love doing whatever we're doing. And who said it was a show? Andrew? What about the show on Saturday Night? What show? I mean, we can't talk about that, which was definitely a show. The other thing. First, all I'm saying is that cameras are following us everywhere. It could be for anything. It could just be I'm getting you know, I've just hired people to follow us for nothing. It's not a bad idea. So with St. Louis show was incredible. It was with three thousand people, just three thousand. It's the biggest show I've done for myself. That's honestly didn't feel any bigger than a regular theater that we usually what about a regular theater either or or unleaded regularly? But I'm sorry, I it's probably so annoying to people who are like, just let him say regular? What is it regular? Yes, you just don't like use we've yeah, I skip skip listen you got I E I O and sometimes why but definitely never you M Yeah. So yeah, Saturday night it was amazing. I mean it's do you feel like when you come home it's your hometown, you know, everyone loves Every celebrity is like, I'm coming back to my home. You know, you see it on American Idol. I'm coming back to Lawrenceville, Kansas and everyone's like, whoa, she did it? And then a week later they're doing meth and everyone forgot about them. But anyhow, not you. But I'm saying, like an American Idol because no one really from that show. But do you feel like when you do your St. Louis crowd you're talking about snooks? Yeah, like making local references? Um, you know what I felt like? Guys, thank you for being here because you could just see me a trader. Joe's like, but obviously I'm not going to do my act in the oatmeal aisle, which is where you'll find me. But um, and must have an island more of just a rack. But um, you know what I felt like was there was just obviously added pressure because it was like this girl better referenced and things because she knows when I go to San Antonio, people don't expect me to know about every like kind of trope and stereotype. Um, and I touched on a little bit. I wish I would have done more. I came up with a really good line earlier that I forgot to use about the Cardinals because the Cardinals are out a winning streak right now, No, fifteen games in a row they have won, and they were not doing well at the start of the season, like embarrassingly bad. We went to the Reds like kind of games and they lost. Yeah, and they lost. What is it called though, Like it's called like the Reds run or whatever. Well that's what I was going through this weekend. The red run. Oh yeah, I get mine. Every two weeks the Reds come in town. Um, that's funny. Has anyone ever used then instead of aunt flow? The Cincinnati Reds are in town? But I like it. I like it to um, but uh no, they're they're they're on a winning streak. And I was going to make the joke that I think I'm responsible for it because I realized the second game they won, I hadn't changed my underwear in a in a day, and so I just decided to keep wearing those underwears. So my underwears on, Well, there's got a there's a stream going on that to them, yes, that was your live So I forgot to do that. So there was interesting. But then they won two more games, I mean six, I this town is going to get buck wild. I mean I love when a team wins and then our house will somehow get destroyed, like you know what I mean, Oh, you know what we're gonna do to celebrate. I'm gonna light my own car on fire. It's like this is a way for people to just get insurance or insurance money if their team wins. It's like, no, it's hometown pride or is a hurricane coming? How is excitement lead to destruction? It's interesting how they like intertwined the love and hate things right because they hate there's destruction too. But it's like I don't know, it's like, let's burn the shopping center because Tommy pitched. Well, did you meet besties at the show? Uh? There were some besties afterwards. There was the one I really loved the first of all, the girl that was outside our apartment, who was like the nicest girl ever, who randomly was literally outside our door. I mean that was insane. That's who I wanted to talk about. I forgot you were there for that, and I'm so glad that you were. We were driving back from getting spray t hands for the show. We're I'm in Kurston's car, driving Curson's car, pulling into my apartment and we park and these this guy who's kind of trailed by a girl probably twenty ft behind him, comes up and I don't really hear. They're just like, are you did? What do they say? He said? Are you Andrew? Did he say that something like? I also have the whole All the people that are usually following us with cameras are now not with cameras. But just like you know, we're not filming right now, so we're just going back into the department from shooting at this Tanning place. Yeah, just for fun, And uh, I mean, it's for fun and it could be for something else, but no, I'm not saying that. And this guy was like, are you nick And I'm like yeah, and I was like he was like, my girlfriends like a huge fan. And this girl, this adorable girl named Annie is behind him, blonde hair, looks a little bit Taylor Swift and me, I'm flattering myself, but she's adorable, and she is like, oh my god. And I was like are you guys, like, did you like know I lived because they're like, we're just visiting from Memphis, were coming to your show tonight. And I was like, wait where your did you like, no, I lived here and we're like hanging out and they were like I think they knew the neighborhood and so they were in the neighborhood already. But she was just like, oh, I know Nikki goes to that Whole Foods. But she was like, there's no chance I'm gonna see her. And then all of a sudden, I drive by and she was like, oh my god, I think her boyfriend's name is Mark or her husband Mark. That's that's Nicky Glazer. And he's like, no way, and she's like I don't want to say anything. And he is a salesman and so she was like, he thought nothing of it. So he ran up into the parking garage like it's an open thing, so he doesn't like sneaking under a gate or something, and he he came up to us and she's she was so sweet, and I'm so glad she said hi, because I really I hate when big fans don't say hi. And then later on they're like, I was too scared. It's like, get that. I know what it's like to be nervous to like say hi to someone. I'm telling you, I won't make you feel weird about it. It will be a good experience. And she was like shaking and crying. It was so but I know she was unbelie and she was a scientist and like, it's a cute scientist likes me and listens to us all the time. And she got into the podcast during the pandemic when I was like going through depression having to like do my show every day. She had just moved to Memphis, didn't have any friends, and she was like, you were my friend, and I kind of didn't have any friends in St. Louis either. I was just living with my parents. She's living with her guy and like lonely, and she was like, you kept me company. I'm like, you kept me company and it was just lovely. And you know, some people say this to me sometimes, but she was like, you're like my Taylor Swift like to to make me understand how it feels. And I I just get that because you know, what I know is that I know if when I meet I know how Taylor Swift is with her fans, and she treats them exactly the way I do, because she knows that they love her and like are her friend in a way that I like. Taylor Swift would have listening parties with her fans. She's the only person that would invite her fans. She'd find them online. Her biggest fans invite them to her house, her home for an all night listening party where they dance and fun. Her mom goes through the crowds at her shows to find the biggest fans that just like would love it the most to bring them backstage. Like she's very much like I love my fans so like I wonder how long they hang out at the house after the party. I need to set up. Yeah, I wonder what it's like. Taylor's just like they're still like chatting. Yeah, So what's what's the other part of the house look like? Yeah? Right, speaking of having someone stay at your house, um, and I just never want her to leave. My best friend Kristen is going to come on the show right now. Let's bring her in. Kursten Kurston, who Welcome to the show, Luigi. I love this. This is like a not me is right next to you. This is actually kind of wild right now. I'm not kidding, dude. Kirsten and I have been best friend since fourth grade. We met because she was acting out in class and got moved and set next to me, and then, um, I realized that someone was as weird as me, and um funny, and it was just like very what about your cake on that day? Do you remember that day that you met, Nikki? I do. I just like I just remember getting in trouble and then getting rewarded because of it. Honestly, I had kind of clocked you, Nikki for a while. I knew you were I had a feeling we were very similar. I saw you with your little like blonde ponytail, little shorts pulled up high, little T shirt and shorts pulled up high. I remember how like in ninety four it was you could we all dressed like yeah, yeah, I don't know. I remember feeling kind of excited to get to move by next to you, but I don't really remember our first conversation. I really wish I did. It was about the markers. Yeah, yeah, So I had a pair, like a set of bold markers in my desk, Remember, like markers that you just like cradle the markers could have like you could have like the regular colors. I think it was like eight, like BIV and then you could have the there was like in the nineties, this was new on the scene, were bold colors and it was like a darker purple and like a maroon and like it was like the waiting room, like the reception area at a doctor's office that was constructed in the nineties, like maroon and hell and hell was a part of the bold markers. I feel like you're going to die. And I remember just kind office that we're probably going to die because is that the sound of debt? What that you you do that game? Oh no, no, we'll do at But what I wanted to say was yeah, I asked her for bold markers and she was like, sure, you can borrow some. But I had clocked her because I saw in her desk she had on her marker Kate on her on her pencil case she had little dots of Elmer's glue, and I was like, I remember we were lining up, and I go, whoever's desk that is is putting glue dots to pick them off and likes picking glue and I love pick and glue. And I just remember being like, oh my god, someone else likes to do this weird thing. And Kirsten loved all these weird things that I loved, like um, torturing mosquito bites. I've talked about this on the show before and some of our listeners have have written in about it. When you get a mosquito bite, we like to do exes in it with our with our nail and like torture like hot cross bun to make it like one time you took a curling arm, Do you remember when you tried to burn yours, like hover it right over the bite and just go yes, yeah. I remember where our desks were. It was like the back right corner you know, everyone would line up at the door. That's so weird. I remember that point, I know, I know, and that's where you saw inside the desk that like little, um, did you ever get glue on your on your hands and be like I'm ripping it off like it's skin. Oh yeah? And sometimes ever know, but you know there is I think like kids who eat glue, there's like a that's like a thing, you know, like there's a thing of like, oh he was one of those glue eaters. But now you know that that's like just like a probably like a a tick or a spectrum thing like I could see how you could fall into that. And then I mean, I love stigmatized. Watch Love on the Spectrum. We watched the first Oh my god, how good people are dying for us to talk about it. By the way, because I'm a huge Love on the Spectrum fan. It's showing Netflix that um, you know, follows around autistic people in Australia who are trying to date and it's all different types of people on different types of the spectrm autism spectrum, And my god, is it the best fucking show? And season two is not disappointing. How cute is the first season. The first episode, I almost get emotional. Yeah, Michael is the might be the funniest person on Netflix. Like he is his expressions when she goes, I don't have a TV and he goes, that sucks and it's just like you can just see and he goes on these speed dates and this guy, you can just see they don't lie. Autistic people, you know. Amy Amy Schumer covered this and HERD special about having her husband has Aspergers and like, he doesn't lie, and so there's something good about that, and like can be bad because it can be hurtful, and I think a lot of times I deal with that as well of trying to be honest, and um, you have to like phrase things in a way that won't be hurtful because the truth hurts, right. I think Lizzo wrote a song about it. But um, Michael's on these speed dates and these girls sit down and he's just asking them questions and you can just see when he goes frothing like you like TV too, And then they'll say like, oh, I like I like watching like the Bachelort and he just goes and his face just falls. There's no there's no ability for him to be like, oh you do, like there's no fakeness and it's lovely, and the conversation goes to like he was pausing for a second, and he goes, my mind is at a crossroads right now. I can't think of another question, and he's just kind of like his face is like yeah, they just say my mind, I can't think of a question, and he's like, honest, he's like your So if he's complimenting you, it feels so authentic and nice and real because he's not gonna lie because they'll tell you your shirt shit if he thinks it ship, it's you know, I think they've learned, or enough of them have learned how to socially interact that if they do think something is bad, to keep it maybe inside, so they don't say. But like his the thing he couldn't help with his facial expressions when he was sad that some girl was like showing so much promise and then you go, yeah, right. So many times I was like, this girl is like everything you wanted to be, Michael. She likes this and this, and then um oh. At one point he's like, you know, I like I like collecting toys and she's like, what kind of toys and he's like, you know, Thomas the train engine and she was like, oh my, my, my nephew loves Thomas. And he was like, how old is your nephew and she goes three and he's like, oh, Like he's just like he's a German phile, which is the best word. He loves. He loves culture, so he loves the English culture he loves and he loves British celebrities. So Michael goes on all of these speed dates. Right, how do you feel about there were some people that were neurotypical and then it wasn't. There was one girl that was actually also on the spectrum and the rest were not. At first I did feel I was like, well, are they handicapped? Like is that like dating? Is that like a normal person dating someone that's like less intelligent? But people are less intelligent. That's what I was saying to Chris when I was watching it with them. I go, if I date someone that went to Harvard IT or Yale, that's a bigger difference than if I dated someone that was Like. The thing is, people in the spectrum are also hyper intelligent. There's a lot of people that go to Harvard and Neal that are on the spectrum, and so I just don't see anything wrong with it. Um, I think that if you're if you're doing it to take advantage of them and then like lock them into it like a room and have sex with them all day or whatever it is. Like, but I think that, I mean, I there are things about these men on this show that make me feel like, man, I feel like I would want to date someone who is Uh, what I do know is I want to have friends that are on the autistic spectrum. Like I'm going to actively pursue working with people with autism because they they are just as interested in things that as I am interested. Like I get obsessed with things and want to know everything about them, and like I know they're swifties out there that are autistic, and like would like I'm a little too stick when it comes to Taylor Swift and um or have the same kind of obsession and Taylor Taylor Swift. Sorry, yeah, and like I exactly that perfect. That was good. Um, But I was I was watching Love on the Spectrum with chris My Ex and we were talking about it and there was one part where this girl who's fairly highly functioning on the spectrum. What was her name? I forget the girl with the who was eating with her friends at the table and women, and she's she's very into costplay because it let her be different characters and and kind of escape into a character as its opposed to being herself, which feels like awkward. She was talking about how, you know, I have had to learn how to say things so that it doesn't upset people, even though the thing I'm saying should not be upsetting because it's just the thing, it's just the truth. And Chris goes, I want an example of that, and I go, I've got one for when I have to do the same thing. Because you know, there's this I remember I was eating once with Lizzie Cooperman in l a and we were at the place called Craft Cafe Gratitude, where you um, you know, it's it's very like it's all vegan. I love it, but you order things that are called like I am strong, and that's like the Caesar salad, so you have to tell the waiter I am strong, and that means you want to Caesar salad. I am brave with dressing on the side, I am easy going with dressing on the side and like like can you make it um with like light chicken and like a drizzle of the balsamic um. But yeah, I am low maintenance. Uh. But then they also go after the end and they don't really hold you to that, but that's what they're called. Usually I just go can I have this? And I point at it because I don't feel you know, yeah, And then they always there's after your order, they go okay, UM, thank you for that. Um. Would you guys like to hear our question of the day? And they always have some kind of question that's like what, um, what's the you know, what's the biggest risk you've ever taken? And it's just supposed to conjure an interesting conversation to like be introspective and like share And they always go, would you like to hear a question of the day? And the guy was very nice our waiter, and we ordered getting along He's like, would you guys okay, I'll be back with you drinks. Would you guys like to hear the question of to day? And I don't know and and he goes okay and he walks away, and Lizzie was just like, I mean there is. Yeah, he wasn't ask that. He's probably never been told no. Well, first of all, I don't want the question of the day. We didn't need a question to get us talking. Uh no is an answer, um no, thank you maybe would have been a better way, But I didn't say it like no, I just got no. And she was laughing. She was like, just the way you said that, like I would never say that, And I was like, but why there's I wasn't being rude, and he didn't seem bothered by it, but she was like, it was like you getting embarrassed when I pick up dogship with leaves like he was. She was so embarrassed that I had been. So it's like it's very your enthusiasm, where like Larry always talks about like what would he do in a situation if he was just being really honest, you know what I mean? Is are you doing? Is that Larry's impression? No? You. I had a dream last night Larry David that I was dating that I was like hooking up with Larry David and actively pursuing him, and like it was between him and another guy. I remember being like, who am I gonna pick? And I was like, I don't know him, just really attracted to Larry David. Like we're having a good time. He's like sexy to me. I want to make out with him. And I like was horny for Larry David and I I think I could be honestly. I mean he's I think he's married. Yeah, he definitely is. He knows exactly who he is. That's why he's so hot. That's it. Yeah, he wears his khakis, He's got like three different sweaters. He's got comfortable was on. He's happy with being bald. There's somebody about a bald man who doesn't shave his head, who keeps it long on the sides. It's very confident. I mean him walking on stage before you throw it out. Yeah, the most confidence of walking on stage at Shore Stand up New York. There's a famous story of him being a comic. And this is before you know he was known for Seinfeld, or maybe he was still developing it or whatever. But he walked on stage, he looked at the crowd. They're like Larry Dave, and he walks up and he just looks at the ground and he just goes now. And that's you with the question of the day. Yea, the same thing. I mean, that's why when you said Larry David, I was like, all of a sudden arouse and I was like, oh my god, my dream. Do you ever have that where you're like remember a dream that you would have forgotten? I also blew Larry David last night. Let's get to the news. Real last name, I think David. Yeah, it's probably more Jewey. Oh really, it's interesting. I love that we're like, he's just who he is? Did he changes to He has that one joke about jerking off? He goes to close? Can you imagine? Wait? What did you say? What is this joke? I like that there's an oven there due to make you. It's almost like, um, you know handmade stale where they're all named of of Corey. That would be your name, right of that's because your husband's name is Corey, would be of Corey. Yeah, he has a joke that close I ever came to dying is jerking off with a hundred and four fever? Have you ever masturbated when you shouldn't? Like where you're on the verge of death? I mastered I had mono, which is a funny thing to jerk off too, because the kissing disease, well, it's a kissing disease. And the more you activate your body, the more you're sick. You're literally going a ends. You're like a salmon who's trying to spawn upstream. And picture you activating your body. O my god out there had a great weekend. We sure did. We had great shows in St. Louis. Thank you for everyone coming out of the closet. Um okay first story, a product review company scan tweets and found that KFC not are the KC we know. Kentucky Fried Chicken is the most hated food fast food chain in the world, with customers mostly complaining about quality. In the US, Domino's Pizza is the most hated, getting flag for its subpart customer service issues with delivery. What is what's you're feeling on fast food hate? Starbucks got a lot of hate. You know, the Starbucks gets hate because people are paying six dollars for milk and coffee and they feel entitled and they like their specific order. And I watched people people that's entitlement. No one should be upset about any of this cheapass food because it's so fucking cheap that people making it for you are making not enough money to even have a one bedroom apartment in America, Why should Dominos give you good customer service? They don't. You don't tip well. Americans are not good tippers, even though the tipping is of failed you know, form of like we're not supposed to have a tipping culture. Is like bad for the economy and bad for people. I guess from what I've understood, but I don't the when I get bad service at a place that has like endless salad bar for something like it should be bad service, like stop expecting good service when you're paying for chickens, you're paying seven dollars for a coffee, don't you think you should get great service? My argument there is don't Okay, let me take that back, don't expect good service for when you are supporting a company that doesn't compensate their employees accordingly, Like, whenever there's bad service, it's because these people aren't being paid enough or aren't being appreciated enough for the work they're doing. So if it's it's it's unhappy employees. But I guess you could also say that plenty of people that make a great salary are shitty fucking workers too. But that's right. But like if you went into a pizza place and it was forty dollars for a pizza, maybe you get a waiter that would be like service. Yeah, yeah, I'm not seeing you in the good table, no, because then there would be more complaints online about high end places when you go to a high end restaurant and you have a dining like they the guy the other night was calling us baby, and but you know they wait on new hand and foot because they're they're charging a bigger a bigger price. And like what is your favorite fast food? Or when really kicks me off? When people get like like the customers always right at a pizza hut, like these people are making eight dollars an hour, shut the funk off? Like this, I just um and and tip so much. Tip if you can, if you can afford it, you must tip on really cheap steps even deeper there and go, Well, the person that is paying eight dollars for this pizza, they also get paid a barely living wage. So that's a lot of money about how I get it. But but also just know that you shouldn't at your job where you work and make that shitty price. You don't want to. Maybe you do have pride and you are really good at your job and stuff, but you're not this person who might have had a really hard day or whatever. Just more empathy across the board. Fast food for me, I subway is the only place I would Subway was hated a lot here. Yeah, I get that subway When you walk past it, that smell is like, um, it's it's an interesting smell. Do you eat fast food? I like fast casual? Like there's some places that I just can go pick up like a It's like it's more like bowls and like not fast food like Chick fil a. Yeah, um don't. I don't know. People are right, you know how slow I am nicky. I don't need fast anything. Yeah yeah, yeah that's true. But maybe like crazy bowls of someone Like do you ever eat nut butter? Like just a scoop of nut butter just on the go it's and I go, I just rather have like a protein bar that has the same stuff in it, you know, Like the protein bars I eat are pretty raw and like, and I go, I just rather have it and she goes, you know, just like when you're like in a rush, and I'm like, what a protein bar is the most easily rushed food ever? Well, just to like to add to a meal, like I like to have like a lunch and then when I want that little delicious like these nut butters they're making now are so you're try the one about last night, like nuts so fix and fog. They're like artisan with syrup and cash shows. It's like they're it's not peanut butter and almond butter. They're like, you're right, it's a a dessert like those r X the RX almond butter with vanilla and egg white. And Kristen created a thing where she puts them in the freezer. Yeah, so when of the gym told me this, shout out to Stephanie. You put those little packets in the freezer, squish them up first, get the oil mixed around, and then pop it out and it's like it's it's like fozend like treats on the go and you just like suck it out of the package, like well you figure it out. A lot of ways they eat unhealthy healthy like a lot of the chocolates you get that I try, it's like this come right from the cocoa tree. Like it really doesn't. Like I eat a lot of Snickers and then I'm like, oh wait, this is what chocolate should taste like like the Honey Mamas. But you love Chick fil A. I'm obsessed And talk about service. I mean, it's unbelievable. You drive through the pay well, they just benefits. Think yeah, I think so. I think they take care of the people that work. And they got a lot of slack for the homophobic stuff. But I mean I think, well, I'm just getting chicken is good. But no, But I do they probably employ a ton of I would say there's a ton of gay people that actually probably worked for Chick fil A. And it was it was the head guy was very homophobic. Who's now dead. Let's be honest. The head guys of most corporations are probably pretty homophobis I'm sure of Taco Bell doesn't love gay guys. You know I did. I did a salary search for Chick Fili employees and Starbucks and it's their salaries are pretty comparable. Just so you know what about KFC UM. I do want to say though, that Starbucks, uh, just going on their subreddit, I know so much like the they used to have a business model that was very pro like Starbucks employee, they had benefits, they had great they all they called themselves partners, not employees, and um, and now something has happened where they've just become like the mobile orders are just those are nightmares for Starbucks people. They've now doubled how many drinks they need to make, and people that mobile order will mobile order and then arrive one minute later and be like, where's my drink. It's like, that's not how this is to drive through. And then there's people walking in and you have three people back. It's like walking into a triage every time you go into a Starbucks. Really, I feel so much for those employees and we'd love to hear voice memos or any kind of um uh, like a store tale of working in fast food and if it is because of what you're making, um, let's get to the next story. Next story. UM. A study you suggest that a way of person cheats depicts the kind of affair they will have, which is kind of interesting. So those who admitted to cheating out of lack of love or resentment towards their partners had affairs that lasted longer, and we're more likely to end their primary relationship. That makes sense. Those who cheated because of situational considerations like stress or alcohol head shorter and less sexually gratifying engagements, because you know, whenever you you get cheated. I always said that, like if you get cheated on and you're like, you cheated on me John, and he's like, yeah, it's like where just at this bar with my friends? So you were just like wasted? No, I actually just doesn't need a driver that night. And she was just like, so you're sober. She even not like wait, can you just tell me you were wasted? It just like it lessens the blow, Like you must hate me. All your drunk friends were in the car with the girl you cheated in the back. Do they like her? Or is she like about her hangs? Pretty cool? That's the problem. If cheating is happening because you're not getting your needs met in a relationship, emotionally, physically, whatever it is. Of course those relationships are going to those you know, affairs are going to have longer lasting um, you know, they're doing the last longer because they are based on things that are you know, fulfilling a need, a basic human need, as opposed to just a flank, like getting your dick sucked or whatever. This is interesting. People who cheat because of anger are more likely to tell their partners, which makes sense because they're doing it not because they want new pussy. They want to hurt the pussy they I always say that in my act about like girls who go when I tell girls you shouldn't sleep with a guy who's not your boyfriend if you want him to be your boyfriend, and they go, but I like sex Nikki. I you know, I'm just making up a character that's like, but I want to And I'm like, okay, She's like, you know what if he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, I'll just say, fine, I'm gonna sleep with other guys. And it's like, but you want this guy to be your boyfriend. So I'm guessing if you're sleeping with him, you're probably in love with him, right, So yeah, you're gonna go sleep with other guys. Let me guess you're probably not gonna be able to do that, because when a girl's in love, she kind of is just tunnel vision for one guy. The best you'll be able to do his bludge on yourself with alcohol, to the point that you can make out with some guy that kind of reminds you of your boyfriend, and then you're gonna in the middle of it, you're gonna kind of like forget that it's not You're gonna remember it's on him, and then you're gonna start crying and be like, I cheated on him. Then you're gonna call your the guy that you want to be your boyfriend and be like and think that this is going to get him to be like I do love you don't be with other guys, but instead it makes him fucking hate you and never talk to you again. And that's what happens strategy, But I think that's what girls at least. Yeah, Like, you go and you make out with someone to be like, fine, he's going to see that I can cheat. I can be with other people too. If he doesn't want to commit to me, and it's like that's not going to work on him. He's not gonna like you after then you're like, fine, I'm just gonna go back to the guy that kissed me in the bar. And then you go back to him, he goes, I was fucking drunk. I like you like you like like I just didn't three and me and I. We can't go back to this is our house, bar at our parents house, and we're in the basement. Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with why do I care? All right, Andrew? Why do I care? I don't know to this day. Why do I care? All right? Kristen or Kristen Kristen Belle, I don't look at me? Wait do you know? Wait? Christine reveals why she dislikes the term relationship goals being applied to her and marriage with Dax because it's been authentic. I don't know why, I just because it's and says the messy pair go to therapy to keep their relationship healthy. Yeah, when people go relationship goals underneath people's pictures on Instagram, like yeah, that that must be irritating for people who are like, no, this isn't what you see on camera and on Instagram. We're not showing you, like all the work that goes into it, and it's just not like I know, but I love when people go, well, don't you show the real relation? It's like, oh, you want us to show us crying and me getting hit by her? Like, is that the photo you want to see? People don't want to see that, but I do that for people. There's some people that I go relationship goals like there are like Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly. For me right now, is relationship goals like that? Yeah? We just see them like on a mortar cycle making out with hard tongues and we're not like filling out the lawyer. Yeah, yeah, we're just eating at freaking KFC. You and your husband Corey. I would say our relationship goals like the way they that. I feel really great hearing that because I would like that. I would like that kind of partnership. I feel like you both give each other space, You both like love each other, You both fulfill each other's needs in ways that aren't like, um, I can't live without you, but like you make each other happy. Like he is okay with you having like friendships outside of him, He's not threatened by He doesn't seem to be a Jellis person you. Um, he's you know, not that everything in your life is perfect, But I would say that you guys seem to have a healthy relationship. What um, what do you think of that and what do you attribute it to? And would you say that that's a correct assumption. I think that's a very correct assumption. I think it's because we met in our late twenties early thirties. Like I was twenty eight, he was thirty. I'd already been an adult and like made my life how I wanted it to be. We both had worked on ourselves before then, and I just did wait to have sex. And we waited how long, probably like four months. Because we were dating. I was okay. I was coming out of a relationship that was three years with an older guy, and I just was like, I'm you said one time you were leaving a gas station and someone asked you if he was here. Yeah, we were going to the lake and down in Missouri somewhere, and this woman walked up. She was like, is that your dad. It was like a quick trip and I just felt like I had like baby bangs at the time, So I kind of I was playing it up a little bit, but I don't know, after a long relationship like that, Yeah, yeah, I had a baby bonnet on in a big Daddy gave me a naughty pop. She was in a baby beard a chest to his chest with the bottle. So it was yeah, so like come going out of that. I knew I just was like a relationship I don't want I will never again kind of fake being calm and like put together and like stylish and like blog or for anybody, They're gonna see me as like my spasi, like they have to see the grossest faced I make, like I can make when I'm trying to make someone laugh, like be spas and like, and they'd still buy me attractive and fun? Did you didn't take me that way with Corey? Instantly? Though? Yes, I I remember because I in my head, I go, I'm not, I like really like this guy, but I am not. I don't love him enough to be like I'm like shape who he wants me to be. I just knew I was cute and to know that he just wanted me to be myself. I don't know how just through friends, and I'm not trying to say that like it was, So why did you wait to sex? Well, I was dating a couple other guys at the time, so a couple of other virgos were lined up, and I was I was really just dating because I was having like summer of fun. One I kind of stopped drinking. I mean, I still drink you know that. But I was saying that you drink is you drink like one glass of wine every three weeks. I probably have like four drinks in a month. Maybe. Okay, So there we go all the same night and well and the night we met. The night we met, I it was like a first Friday art event and I was down in the crossroads. Were at this big party thing and she's from kids. I think I had biked down there, and I was like wearing a little dress. I was like living that life where I had a bag full of spinach from the farmer's market and I was just like walking around this huge maga spinach frond, like the girl that I would try to be to get a guy. But I was like a hippy vibe. I was like just here and he was like spinach No, I just and I was literally and we've never done. I was in like an f boy f by mode where I just was like I'm not having any of this bullshit of trying to be this person. So we literally dated. I would send him home at the end of the night because I didn't want him to see me in the morning just yet. I was like, Okay, I just want to do my thing was living alone and he was totally cool with that. And like seeing him leave at the end of the night when we've been like hanging out and I gotta get up in the morning, and he would walk away and Okay, I have a great night. And just like seeing him walk away and get on his bike to go home, I was like, God, he's the one. So when did you finally he would just like bike? Yeah, like we would you know, when you're younger, you're like bike everywhere. Like just like, what when did you finally sleep together? Like when when you were ready to lock it in? Yeah? It was like we were both ready for that. Did you have to talk about like what you were? Yeah, But it wasn't like we were consciously like before we define anything. But I think just the waves of energy we're telling us to wait until we were like waiting for Jesus or anything. We were lival waiting until it felt right. Yeah, so we I think we are both vulnerable and like he hadn't been in a serious relationship and he knew this was love by the time he had sex. That's so special and then it was really good? Was it? Like, So, do you remember the first time you had sex and like it was a special moment. It was very late and then it was like late night, like three am. I feel like I've reached the same exact place where you're at, where it's like I can't go into anything anymore of like trying to be and it's and it's obviously sounds like so the why not just be yourself? But like truly, like I I'm not ashamed of who I am anymore. And I think that so the reason I used to try to be other women was not because I was trying to be the version of this girl that this guy would love, was because I really just I didn't want to be myself, even without trying to impress a guy, like I was always trying to be someone else. And now when my room is a mess, like and I have a guy over, like I don't, I don't. I'm not like can I go in first? And like I mean, I don't want like dirty underwear on the floor, just because like that something sometimes I leave behind in a rush. But like I am the cardinal streak. I just like I'm like, you know what they're gonna I'm not a bad person because my room is is I have a cluttered desk that doesn't and if you can't love me for that, or if that's going to be a red flag for you, it just isn't gonna work at work. And I know that's easier said than done, because I used to hear this all the time, Like who hasn't heard that advice of like if they can't love you at your worst or like, but it's really about like accepting yourself for those things and being like, you know what when I look in the mirror in the morning and I look like discuss the most let's say, disgusting version of myself with no kind of like just and I go like, I still love that version of myself. I'm not like I can't go out. People can't see this, Like I'm still worthy of love. I feel like you as a guy when like if like I love Brando very much, like if she doesn't have makeup on, and like there obviously she looks different with makeup on, Like everyone looks more put together. It's not like like registering like oh, now you don't have like, oh I don't like this face, you know what I mean. It's like I just love your face. Whether it's like I don't see a difference. You start, you start not to see it different. You're not like clocking in like oh wait, this is who you are. It's early. It could be girls. I just want to say the girls listening out there, like the pressure to have sex with guys. If a guy is going to make you feel bad because you don't have sex, you don't have to have any reason for why you don't want have sex. You don't have to ever say it's because of this. You can just say, okay, let's call tonight. I still have pangs of like, oh I'm I'm he's he probably has a boner and like wants to get off, and I'm not going to get him off. It's fine, send them away. I swear to you, they're only going to like you more. And I know it goes against everything you're thinking of, Like but he's gonna be mad at me or disappointed. That's always in the back of my head as well. Just try out doing what you want to do. Always when it comes to sexuality, like don't ever do anything because they want it, you know, do it if they want it because you want to do something for them because you love them. You know, Like girls aren't sucking dick because they love the feel of it, but because they're doing it because the guy wants it. No one, not if girls don't suck their dildos for fun, but guys don't eat out exactly. You guys are doing it because you enjoy giving us pleasure. Yes, but you don't like a penis in your mouth. Not I I do. When I'm with with the person who is his penis, it is and I can see that they're getting pleasure from it and it tastes like them and stuff like if I just had a penis that tasted like my boyfriend, that wasn't attached to him, and like, I would not just suck it for fun. No, I wouldn't. And that's how you determine if you're doing something for fun. When it's like out, when people go I love tequila, I go, okay, if tequila didn't have alcohol in it, would you really drink it? And they go yeah, And I'm like, well, do you drink non alcoholic beer? Actually I told you I drink no alcoholic beer. I know, and I think you're you also likes like match and that's it's like that we'll talk about later. Yeah, we're gonna do top one bottom one for a I don't thought because I gotta get on a call here in a ten minutes. Um. The top one bottom one topic for today is basic things that people like. Yeah, basic bitch stuff like things that would be described as basic that either that we both you know, a thing that you love the most that you indulgent, and a thing that you hate the most that either you indulgent or let other people do. I'll start us off the number one thing that I love that is so basic about Wait, sorry, we're starting with hate, Nikki. Come on, um, I'll start with mine. The thing that I hate the most is what I just said. People who UM glamorized drinking and they're like it's one o'clock, or like, who needs a therapist when I have wine and act like they like the taste of alcohol. You don't. You like the way it makes you drunk, and that's okay, But don't lie to me and say you like the taste of whiskey. You don't. Um, you don't. You just don't. And if you think you do, you I know that people out there raging right now, but I always proved this. When I went to UM. There was a fro yo shop that was doing a Guinness flavored fro yo okay, and people say they love guinness the taste of guinness, and maybe you're like, well, I don't like these. There are people that would claim they love the taste of guinness or love the taste of beer. There was a beer flavored fro yo and which obviously did not have alcohol in it. And I went up to the It was at sixteen Handles in New York, and I go, how many people are getting that? And he goes, oh, people just try it, but no one actually gets it. It's like, yeah, because no one likes the taste of alcohol. You like the taste. It's like blow jobs. You don't like blow jobs. If blow jobs weren't connected to the feeling you get from giving someone a good feeling and getting the feedback back, you wouldn't like blow jobs. Inherently, blow jobs don't taste good. The taste might remind you of all that coffee doesn't taste good. But I like black coffee because it gives me energy and I'm addicted to it. So that's that not to me. I know that you're like, nikky, get off your high horse about this. But why don't you read the Easy Way to stop drinking my Alan car and you get back to me. So that's my least favorite basic thing is like drinking culture. My least favorite, I think is the people that the hustle hard culture of, like waking up at four am, like Mark Wahlberg mindset. Yeah it's yeah, any of that, Like what the fund is wrong? When you just pull yourself up, but you didn't have to go to college. College, just fucking buy a fucking lemonade. Stand open, nineteen of them, sell the lemonade. Then by lines, turn those lines into more lemons, and the next thing you know, you own the fucking world. Shut up, Gary, But yeah, the four a m. Or like I wake up, I don't even see the sun rise. The sun has never rise. I fucking I eat dumbbells at one in the morning, Like fuck you man. But also I'm like projecting a little because I'm like, man, that's pretty cool that you got of the of course, of course, the one time I filmed you in the caves when you were passed out and your shirt was like up against like like you're just passed out, like just looks like a drunk pass out on the couch and David Goggan's audiobook is playing to be like you get up every morning and you look in the mirror, and you hustle, you don't take no for an answer, and you push yourself to you. It was just echoing through that. It was so ironic, it was hilarious. That's the funniest thing I've ever Okay, person, what is your least favorite basic thing? I think my least favorite basic thing would be And I'm so sorry. I really don't want to offend anybody, but like influencer culture, influencers, there's a scale. There's some people are doing good, but I just think the overall culture it's a little hard to witness. Um, I've talked about you at the top of the show, us making fun of it. Oh perfect, So just people. I just feel like people living their life through what will the masses? Like? Wait, what was can you do a picture right now for us of like the wacky face Wednesday? Like where a girl would do the picture like hold, oh it's okay, sorry, up up, okay, So it would be this face okay, and then that caption would be work hard, play hard Wednesday vibes. It's just like the face she's making is kind of like a scrunch up, like with her eyebrows bigger. It's like yeah, like kind of like duck face. But like, what would your podcast be called? As an influencer that believes in Wednesday vibes? Like m M, I'm I gonna need to think about this one, like some with millionaire mindset in it, like yeah, like fitness. I don't know, Like I was trying to think of what I couldn't day women like the Wednesday Women Patrol. It's like we're groundbreakers. We wake up at three am for a four hour ritual and go to bed at seven, even though that kind of like my life, but I don't put out there like four thirty am, get started. I got my sixty minute meditation, macho routine. It's just bragging. Also, you didn't and we all know that this is the most basic to make fun of influencers, but like they all have to have someone take their picture, like whenever you see a girl with a cozy cup of tea and like journaling, she had to go, honey, will you take this picture? And like I had to go and I had to go set it up in press the timer and then go sit and then go grab her phone. Like there's think of the book ends of all of these in there to think about the gression behind it, Like no, I need to get over what get over? Why are you wearing? Why aren't you wearing shorts? Brian the influencer husband is I mean, becomes part of it. He gets tagged yeah and I would say my number one, and he has the passwords to her Instagram so he can see if she's like cheating on him. He probably feels a sense of control. Um my number one. Uh, you help me build this. I hope you build it. And now you're cheated on? Empire and Tuna? Tom who who who wakes up, grinds hard and cuts tuna. My number one favorite basic thing is Starbucks. Like I I'm embarrassed that, Like, I not someone who wants the Mom pop coffee shop. I don't. I'm not someone who's like, oh, this roast is my favorite. I just like your Bucks. And it's not because the coffee. It's because of the milk that they use. It's because the cup feels good in my hand. It's all the marketing behind it. I am a I am brainwashed Lemming. First, Starbucks. I love it. I'm a basic bitch. I'm not a pumpkin spice music a bit, but I have no judgment of them. Um Andrew, what is your favorite? I mean, it's probably a tie between golf and Chick fil A, but d my Corolla. Like those three things combine just makes me such a basic simp bitch. Like all I do is drive a two thousand, twenty one Corolla to the golfing range with a golf shirt on, and I've never been happier. That's all I need in life. It's those three things and we're so happy that, Like it makes me happy that you get so much joy out of golf, like it was a thing that you weren't doing in your life. That's like brought you so much freaking joy. Like sometimes dog or a cat and you're like, how did you exist before this thing in your life? I mean I I it's it's just like the every day is different with golf, and it sounds so cheesy the older I get. I go to these different golf courses and I look around them like this. There's this one called an Brier and it's in the middle of a cornfield. You drive down a road where you think they kill Jewish people. And I'm like, maybe I shouldn't drive down this road. You know, I'm not gonna tell anyone I'm Jewish whatever, you know, I you know, and uh, And I drive and I make Yeah Andrew Star of Colin, which would be a great country club. Um. And then I drive down and it just opens up and there's hills and you know, like a guy wakes up at four in the more in the hustle hard to make that green perfect. And I don't know, and like you just think of like all the thought that went into like making these hills and making the sand trap, and you're like, funk, there's so much history here. I don't know. It's like like I I never thought about that as a kid, of like how long it took to cut the grass or like whoever designed this? How how how do you have to like be creative? Just like love consuming golf and like it makes me I know that feeling of like because I love anything Taylor Swift and it like sends a surge through my body that I never had before. And I'm like, oh my god, like what would I do without this thing that I'm yes you are and to take us out firston we Gotta Go. But what is the number one thing that you love? That? So it hands down? We kind of covered it, but active where I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love Lulu. I be where I live in leggings. I mean I am a trainer, so I can do it for the reason. Um, but it's comfortable, it's pretty. I heard you and Brenna talking about like some dress of the built of braw and I was like, I can't with this. It works great on a like an active Um what is it called? Like not saying like a fit body, but like a athletic frame. I just I think it's a great option for just for a tire. And do you want to give us a promo code? And I'm not a little caption for your active war picture off if you mentioned k flow fit right in here, Um, that's my maiden. You start an active where coming? I feel like you should. I do have a full line you're asking. Actually it's a good promo. I have, no, I don't now there's enough active we're out there. I just like to consume it. And lu Lemon is the most basic one and I love it. I'm we gotta go thank you so much for being here, Kirsten. It's been a great weekend with you. I've loved having this all road robe episode. Look for this one on YouTube and a couple of days you guys if you're listening to it. Um, thank you so much. We'll be here all week. We love you, Busti is so good to meet you after the shows this weekend or the show this weekend. More tickets available on Nikki Glaser dot com. Slash tour and we'll see tomorrow. Don't be cut out there and

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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