Is tough love to blame for our shame?

💌Join 9,200+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

We all know that parent or coach on the sideline who takes under 10’s basketball a liiitttllleee too seriously. And occasionally, tough love might seem to work in the moment, long term, the shame train isn’t going anywhere good.

Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to name the shame to tame it, and teach us how we can be shame strippers too (get your head out of the gutter. Shame on you).

We go into the difference between shame, humiliation, guilt and embarrassment, bow down to the queen Brene Brown, and introduce ourselves to our own Healthy Adult.

Shamelessly, this is one of our best episodes to date.

0:00 – Ever heard of a shame stripper?
6:27 – Bow down to Brene Brown
12:25 – The other self-conscious emotions (they’re shy)
20:51 – Humour and humiliation
29:21 – Shame is a full body experience
36:16 – Beware of who you share (with)
40:43 – Manosphere + behaviour change
46:59 – Tough love + kids sport
57:07 – Working with shame
1:06:10 – Bring on the compassion!
1:10:07 – Introducing the Healthy Adult

If you’d like to watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4qgEqrO
Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/4hqWa1k
How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - Maria Ruberto - https://bit.ly/4ze4eJh

🎧 Things to listen to
Between Two Beers with Steven Adams - https://bit.ly/4g3wipS

📚Things to read
Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown - https://bit.ly/45VT2Dx
The Compassionate Mind, by Paul Gilbert - https://bit.ly/3UewPOq
Movember study of the Manosphere - https://bit.ly/4wZxtOs
Proneness to shame vs proneness to guilt research by Tangney et al. - https://bit.ly/4g4lQyl

📖Things to do
The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer - https://bit.ly/4zg353K
Othership (breath work app) - https://bit.ly/4g7Q03E

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

Is tough love to blame for our shame?
💌Join 9,200+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week&rsquo;s episode in our newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
We all know that parent or coach on the sideline who takes under 10&rsquo;s basketball a liiitttllleee too seriously. And occasionally, tough love might seem to work in the moment, long term, the shame train isn&rsquo;t going anywhere good.
Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to name the shame to tame it, and teach us how we can be shame strippers too (get your head out of the gutter. Shame on you).
We go into the difference between shame, humiliation, guilt and embarrassment, bow down to the queen Brene Brown, and introduce ourselves to our own Healthy Adult.
Shamelessly, this is one of our best episodes to date.
0:00 &ndash; Ever heard of a shame stripper? 6:27 &ndash; Bow down to Brene Brown 12:25 &ndash; The other self-conscious emotions (they&rsquo;re shy) 20:51 &ndash; Humour and humiliation 29:21 &ndash; Shame is a full body experience 36:16 &ndash; Beware of who you share (with) 40:43 &ndash; Manosphere + behaviour change 46:59 &ndash; Tough love + kids sport 57:07 &ndash; Working with shame 1:06:10 &ndash; Bring on the compassion! 1:10:07 &ndash; Introducing the Healthy Adult
If you&rsquo;d like to watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link -
🫖&nbsp;Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
<ul>
<li>Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy &amp; Purpose - <a href="https://bit.ly/4qgEqrO">https://bit.ly/4qgEqrO</a></li>
<li>Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - <a href="https://bit.ly/4hqWa1k">https://bit.ly/4hqWa1k</a></li>
<li>How do you know you&rsquo;re in a thinking trap? - Maria Ruberto - <a href="https://bit.ly/4ze4eJh">https://bit.ly/4ze4eJh</a></li>
</ul>
🎧&nbsp;Things to listen to
<ul>
<li>Between Two Beers with Steven Adams - <a href="https://bit.ly/4g3wipS">https://bit.ly/4g3wipS</a></li>
</ul>
📚Things to read
<ul>
<li>Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown - <a href="https://bit.ly/45VT2Dx">https://bit.ly/45VT2Dx</a></li>
<li>The Compassionate Mind, by Paul Gilbert - <a href="https://bit.ly/3UewPOq">https://bit.ly/3UewPOq</a></li>
<li>Movember study of the Manosphere - <a href="https://bit.ly/4wZxtOs">https://bit.ly/4wZxtOs</a></li>
<li>Proneness to shame vs proneness to guilt research by Tangney et al. - <a href="https://bit.ly/4g4lQyl">https://bit.ly/4g4lQyl</a></li>
</ul>
📖Things to do
<ul>
<li>The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer - <a href="https://bit.ly/4zg353K">https://bit.ly/4zg353K</a></li>
<li>Othership (breath work app) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4g7Q03E">https://bit.ly/4g7Q03E</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://patreon.com/theimperfects">patreon.com/theimperfects</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
&nbsp;

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Interesting people, allowing themselves to be vulnerable, sharing with us, their imperfect lives.