In this episode of The Hardest Part, Kieron Banerji sits down with Ava Joe to break down the making of “Am I a Dreamer”, a song inspired by one of the most complicated emotions she experiences: nostalgia.  

Unlike most of her songwriting, which begins with a specific experience and the feelings that follow, this song started with an emotion. Ava set out to write about nostalgia itself, drawing together memories, places, films, relationships, and moments that all carried the same emotional weight.  

This episode explores why nostalgia can feel more painful than comforting, the strange experience of feeling nostalgic while living through a moment, and the fear of time passing too quickly. From watching the sea in Greece to reflecting on her teenage years, Ava explains how “Am I a Dreamer? became a meditation on memory, growing up, and the moments we know we’ll miss before they’ve even ended.  

Kieron and Ava also talk about songwriting, collaboration, creative blocks, and why some of the best artistic breakthroughs happen when you stop forcing them.

Guest: Ava Joe
Host: Kieron Banerji

Mix Engineer: Max Walker
Recording Engineer: Giovani Alimonte
Creative: Callum Baker

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00:00 Intro
00:55 Why nostalgia is so difficult to write about
02:00 Starting with a feeling, not a memory
02:45 Why nostalgia feels painful
03:40 Feeling nostalgic in the present moment
05:25 The memories behind the song
07:10 Why time is her biggest fear
08:40 Building a song from emotion
10:15 Writing with producer Eddie George
11:00 Finding the right collaborators
12:30 The writers who ask the right questions
14:00 Why she chose the nylon-string guitar
15:00 Creative blocks and losing her voice
16:20 Learning to stop forcing creativity
18:20 How listeners hear the song differently
19:50 Full session