We’ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn’t take, the thing we said that we can’t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it’s no surprise that “no regrets” has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy?

In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors Daniel Pink and Liz Fosslien. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future.

If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back.

Experts Mentioned:
Daniel Pink, non-fiction author
Liz Fosslien, author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions
Mollie West Duffy, author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development
Augusten Burroughs, author and memoirist
Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer 

Resources Mentioned:
“Liz + Mollie”
Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are  Not Okay, by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (2022)
Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink (2022)
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:  A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011)
“Making Up for Lost Opportunities: The Protective Role of Downward Social Comparisons for Coping With Regrets Across Adulthood,” by Isabelle Bauer and Carsten Wrosch (2011)

 Related Episodes 
“How to Identify Your Negative Emotions”
“How to Be Angry Better”
“Why Nostalgia Ain't So Rosy”

We&rsquo;ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn&rsquo;t take, the thing we said that we can&rsquo;t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it&rsquo;s no surprise that &ldquo;no regrets&rdquo; has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy?
In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors <a href="https://www.danpink.com/">Daniel Pink</a> and <a href="https://www.fosslien.com/">Liz Fosslien</a>. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future.
If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.danpink.com/">Daniel Pink</a>, non-fiction author</li>
<li><a href="https://www.fosslien.com/">Liz Fosslien</a>, author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions</li>
<li><a href="https://molliewestduffy.com/">Mollie West Duffy</a>, author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development</li>
<li><a href="https://www.augusten.com/">Augusten Burroughs</a>, author and memoirist</li>
<li><a href="https://bronnieware.com/">Bronnie Ware</a>, author and palliative carer&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.lizandmollie.com/">Liz + Mollie</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Big-Feelings-Okay-When-Things/dp/0593418239">Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are&nbsp; Not Okay</a>, by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (2022)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Power-Regret-Looking-Backward-Forward/dp/0735210659">Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward</a>, by Daniel Pink (2022)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X">The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:&nbsp; A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing</a>, by Bronnie Ware (2011)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167210393256?casa_token=wr3_gS7VSLIAAAAA:xVdemmc-HfadLq9Q7yuYv6pSVBsjJSd2VYOZcLoqn_FtS34AyKPqCM9b-RcnTaWqr4qZdkBM-gk">Making Up for Lost Opportunities: The Protective Role of Downward Social Comparisons for Coping With Regrets Across Adulthood</a>,&rdquo; by Isabelle Bauer and Carsten Wrosch (2011)</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;Related Episodes&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions">How to Identify Your Negative Emotions</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-be-angry-better">How to Be Angry Better</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-nostalgia-aint-so-rosy">Why Nostalgia Ain't So Rosy</a>&rdquo;</li>
</ul>

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won’t protect you.

With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim — using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won&rsquo;t protect you.
With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim &mdash;&nbsp;using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Why “No Regrets” Is Bad Advice

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/e556f954-1364-44bd-8483-b471000b4568/transcript