For most of human history, we only had one way to talk to one another: our voices. Today, we have more ways to communicate than ever before. We can text, call, send a video message, reach out over social media, et cetera. And we often choose whichever option seems easiest or least awkward. But research suggests that how we choose to communicate matters much more than we realize and can have a surprising impact on how well we understand one another and how connected we feel.

In a live conversation recorded at the World Happiness Summit at SXSW, Dr. Laurie speaks with psychologist Nick Epley about the common mistakes we make when communicating in the modern world — and the small changes that could help us connect more meaningfully with the people around us. His new book, A Little More Social, is available now.

Experts Mentioned:
Nicholas Epley, Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business
Bronisław Malinowski, Polish anthropologist and ethnologist

ResourcesMentioned:
A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, by Nick Epley (2026)
“Hello, stranger? Pleasant conversations are preceded by concerns about starting one,” by Juliana Schroeder, Donald Lyons, and Nicholas Epley (Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2022)
"The Problem of Meaning in Primitive Languages," by Bronisław Malinowski (1923)
“Is Conversation Magical?,” by Nicholas Epley (Chicago Booth Review, 2026)
“The Humanizing Voice: Speech Reveals, and Text Conceals, a More Thoughtful Mind in the Midst of Disagreement,” by Juliana Schroeder, Michael Kardas, and Nicholas Epley (Psychological Science, 2017)
"Egocentrism over e-mail: can we communicate as well as we think?," by Justin Kruger, Nicholas Epley, Jason Parker, and Zhi-Wen Ng (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2005)
“The Sound of Intellect: Speech Reveals a Thoughtful Mind, Increasing a Job Candidate's Appeal,” by Juliana Schroeder and Nicholas Epley (Psychological Science, 2015)
“It's surprisingly nice to hear you: Misunderstanding the impact of communication media can lead to suboptimal choices of how to connect with others,” by Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2021)

Related Episodes:
Forget Small Talk: Go Deep Instead
You’re Actually Not Bothering People Enough
Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit
The Surprising Case for Oversharing

For most of human history, we only had one way to talk to one another: our voices. Today, we have more ways to communicate than ever before. We can text, call, send a video message, reach out over social media, et cetera. And we often choose whichever option seems easiest or least awkward. But research suggests that how we choose to communicate matters much more than we realize and can have a surprising impact on how well we understand one another and how connected we feel.
In a live conversation recorded at the World Happiness Summit at SXSW, Dr. Laurie speaks with psychologist <a href="https://www.nicholasepley.com/" data-airgap-id="11">Nick Epley</a> about the common mistakes we make when communicating in the modern world &mdash; and the small changes that could help us connect more meaningfully with the people around us. His new book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=a+little+more+social&amp;hvadid=694133946432&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvexpln=67&amp;hvlocphy=9004400&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvocijid=4292426935823186958--&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=4292426935823186958&amp;hvtargid=kwd-2468185663858&amp;hydadcr=22560_13531255&amp;mcid=595a8d21a90737c8be1ca523ebb39d71&amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;ref=pd_sl_4f4qjpojxq_e_p67" data-airgap-id="12">A Little More Social</a>, is available now.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.nicholasepley.com/" data-airgap-id="13">Nicholas Epley</a>, Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business</li>
<li><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/373260727_Malinowski_Bronislaw_K1884-1942" data-airgap-id="14">Bronisław Malinowski</a>, Polish anthropologist and ethnologist</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=a+little+more+social&amp;hvadid=713511125889&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvexpln=67&amp;hvlocphy=9004400&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvocijid=1911829651904330065--&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=1911829651904330065&amp;hvtargid=kwd-2468185663858&amp;hydadcr=22560_13730715&amp;mcid=595a8d21a90737c8be1ca523ebb39d71&amp;tag=googhydr-20&amp;ref=pd_sl_4f4qjpojxq_e_p67" data-airgap-id="15">A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection</a>, by Nick Epley (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34618536/" data-airgap-id="16">Hello, stranger? Pleasant conversations are preceded by concerns about starting one</a>,&rdquo; by Juliana Schroeder, Donald Lyons, and Nicholas Epley (Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2022)</li>
<li>"<a href="https://mnytud.arts.unideb.hu/tananyag/szoclingv_alap/malinowski-the_problem_of_meaning_in_primitive_languages.pdf" data-airgap-id="17">The Problem of Meaning in Primitive Languages</a>," by Bronisław Malinowski (1923)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.chicagobooth.edu/review/is-conversation-magical" data-airgap-id="18">Is Conversation Magical?</a>,&rdquo; by Nicholas Epley (Chicago Booth Review, 2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29068763/" data-airgap-id="19">The Humanizing Voice: Speech Reveals, and Text Conceals, a More Thoughtful Mind in the Midst of Disagreement</a>,&rdquo; by Juliana Schroeder, Michael Kardas, and Nicholas Epley (Psychological Science, 2017)</li>
<li>"<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16393025/" data-airgap-id="20">Egocentrism over e-mail: can we communicate as well as we think?</a>," by Justin Kruger, Nicholas Epley, Jason Parker, and Zhi-Wen Ng (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2005)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25926479/" data-airgap-id="21">The Sound of Intellect: Speech Reveals a Thoughtful Mind, Increasing a Job Candidate's Appeal,</a>&rdquo; by Juliana Schroeder and Nicholas Epley (Psychological Science, 2015)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32915017/" data-airgap-id="22">It's surprisingly nice to hear you: Misunderstanding the impact of communication media can lead to suboptimal choices of how to connect with others</a>,&rdquo; by Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2021)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/forget-small-talk-go-deep-instead" data-airgap-id="23">Forget Small Talk: Go Deep Instead</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/youre-actually-not-bothering-people-enough" data-airgap-id="24">You&rsquo;re Actually Not Bothering People Enough</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-giving-is-a-great-daily-habit" data-airgap-id="25">Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-surprising-case-for-oversharing" data-airgap-id="26">The Surprising Case for Oversharing</a></li>
</ul>

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won’t protect you.

With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim — using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won&rsquo;t protect you.
With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim &mdash;&nbsp;using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

What Gets Lost When We Text Instead of Talk with Dr. Nick Epley

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/fd14e389-8e82-48ae-b4fe-b4de00f1ef28/transcript