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The Fresh Show is on Stay or Go, all right, so it's like group therapy here. None of us are licensed. I have to say that legally. Every week we're giving advice, but it's, you know, just kind of whatever. What you don't think our advice is kind of whatever?
This is funny way to this card. We're gonna do this, but it's whatever.
I mean, you should take what we're saying with a grain of salt.
You know you should. I mean, my advice is stellar, but as far as everybody else, I can't speak of a Hi Savannah, Savannah.
Hi, Hey, good morning.
No, Kiki is a judge, so she obviously knows what she's talking about. And I'm very good at telling other people what to do in their relationships, and I'm a complete and total imbecile when it comes to my own, like honestly, samam, which is why I'm going. Sure, you're glad you're called, but like you called, but I'm an idiot, Like I do the dumbest I picked, I hate the worst I do. I mean, it's just awful anyway, So let me tell you how to live your life. What's going on with this? I uh, I guess I don't have his name here, I'm looking at a Christian. No, no, no, no, that's your religion.
No, I'm looking. I'm looking at the notes.
I'm looking at the notes, and usually I have the person's name. I don't think I do hear. So you're getting engaged I know that, or you're engaging getting married?
Then? What?
Yeah, we're getting married.
The man's name is Christian Christian and he is a Christian. A Christian I don't know, right, no, and it makes sense. Sometimes we have the name in here and sometimes we don't. But his name is Christian and he's a Christian.
He observes Christian.
What can't.
That's your religion, so you can.
It's fine, Savannah tells is going on, Please save just save me from this.
Go ahead.
Well, I mean it's kind of an nickname because so we're getting married in about a year from now.
And congratulations to Christian and Christian.
And out of nowhere, I guess Christian decided Christian could be celibate until the wedding, and I like, he kind of told me completely out of the blue, and I don't know. I was like, I'm in shock.
Okay, So so you, Savannah, are to be married in maybe a year or so, you think. And you've been dating this guy for a little while, and I I just need to clarify, you have been intimate with him up until this point.
Yeah, yeah, I.
Mean neither of us have really ever been religious. We're kind of raised loosely Christian, but that's not been you know, a part of our relationship. Okay, yeah, it's never been on like on the table at all.
And then all of a sudden, this guy goes, hey, we're geting married in a year. I have an idea, let's stop with the physical part of our relationship and let's like, I guess, save ourselves for marriage, even though that's not how it works, but let's just not until then.
Yeah yeah, and it's not just a celigacy thing. But he also said that he wants to start like practicing our faith and prioritizing that, which is like, it doesn't seem like him. I've never seen him go to church like ever.
Okay, so obviously you guys have been intimate for all this time. So then now the thought of stopping that for a year, it's like, well, that's not ideal, because you know, people enjoy those sorts of activities and you've been doing them, so.
Yeah, dog, I think it's really important in our relationship, right, But then to stop now for religious reasons and again I'm not I'm not a theologian.
Which surprises a lot of people. I'm not. I actually am. Yeah, No, he never gave theologian. I don't think that.
Someone just this is the text of the day. Someone just texted today is giving Golf of America. It is like we've officially just lost it. Like it's just But I don't think that's it. I don't think it's ever not given Golf of America around. I feel like, if it's not one thing, it's another. But I guess my thing is, it's not as though you can just I mean, I get, I get maybe he's trying to refocus on his faith because you're getting married, maybe getting married in the church or whatever.
But I don't think that's how it works.
Like, I don't actually think if you just stop now that when you do go in a year, God's like I didn't see anything, you know what I mean, Like, I think it's fine. You know, I checked in in the last six months to a year and no Shenanigans, So it's all good.
I don't think that's how this works.
Yeah, I we know where this came from, and I'm I don't know. I don't know if like I'm overreacting to this and just need to like talk it out with him, or if it's like kind of a red flag because we used to seem on the same page and I don't know.
So he's just cutting you off a year before you get married, Huh.
This is not a problem, like the girl literally yes that okay.
Well, I just got a text from Timothy, your boyfriend. Not but you're single. But we've already heard this before. Yes, and if you haven't heard, if you haven't heard Teeky's theory about she's not married, so she's technically single even though this man lives in her home with her. And Okay, so he just texted me and said a ring is coming. Okay, except he's cutting you off for a year.
Okay, that's fine. I think what this man has made intention to marry her. He wants her to be his wife, and they've been cooking up all this time, so maybe he's trying to see if he can connect with her on a deeper level than just sex.
So he's like Listen, shouldn't they have figured that out already they're getting married.
Hold on, but that doesn't mean that he just he probably wants to have Like one day they won't be able to have sex. It might not work anymore, and so he won't make sure when it's not hidden. I still love you, I still want to be with you, I still enjoy you.
People, if they're engaged, should be married, like he should have already figured that part out.
When they're not doing it, people's perception gets blurry sometimes when you humping, okay, when he out here having sex with each other sometimes.
As opposed to with yourself.
Yeah, your mind can get cloudy sometimes because of the way they putting it down. You gotta see if you still like a person outside of sex.
But I can tell that when I'm talking to them and not doing it, you know, or whatever.
He might feel differently. He might be like, it's bro, it's so good. I want to marry you, right, honest, I need to see if I still like you outside of that.
I mean, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Ki, but to me, it feels like he's trying to fake the funk. To me, it feels like he's trying to all of a sudden be like pious, like all of a sudden. It's like, you know, because Jason and I were raised cat like right, and we were weird. We were supposed to have stain and we were supposed to do all these things, which I didn't do by choice until the age of twenty two or anything, or twenty one. Actually I abstained by it absolutely by choice. It was not certainly wasn't.
Yeah you had that ring for.
Lack of opportunity, but because nobody wanted to But no, but yeah, it was. They were just banging the door down, but I chose not to.
Uh he said, no, don't touch.
No. But but like I just don't think it works that way, Like I don't think you can Just to me, what he's trying to do is make himself feel better somehow about everything he's done in the past, because somehow, if he just hit reset now, then I don't know, then it's like it never happened or something that doesn't the dean has been done. Okay, I don't I don't think that just now. And if you don't know the person well enough, or if you're masked by the physical activity, then maybe you shouldn't have gotten engaged. I cannot believe you don't think he's getting it somewhere else, right, what it feels like to me. It feels to me like maybe he Savannah. I don't mean to put this out there, but it's almost like it's almost like he did something bad and maybe he's got something going on he's trying to resolve, or.
Who wakes up and says that, Like, I don't want to.
Know something is up. Something is up, Savannah, and I need to get to the bottom of mask. I think you should. I definitely think this is This is raising red flags to me, and it's something that should be investigated because he could even he could say to you, he could explain it to you and be like, hey, look, I really I feel like I want to sort of get back in touch with my faith and get in touch with myself and like I and it would be really maybe it would be more special if we But he hasn't really given you any explanation, right, He's just like, well, we're getting married in a church and I want to be more religious, so we're not doing it anymore.
He's taking meds for something, he caught something, and he's that's what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking he's gonna wait to tell her that he's got something that's not going to go away until they get married. And then once they're married, then he's like, by the way, bad news, but we're married.
Oh my god.
I just's going on, Savannah. But let me take some Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry, go ahead.
I'm more nervous than it was before.
This is why I said, pursuit your own risk. But there's something going on. But let me. I'm gonna take some phone calls on this, Savannah, and and let's see what's going on and see what people have to say. But you have the radio on or iHeart or whatever, and thank you for calling in for being patient with us, because it's just been a day and a week and a month. It really has a series of months. But anyway, I have a great day, Savannah.
Get some blood work done.
Yeah, what's your doctor's name?
Who I meant doctor Dr Mike, doctor Mike. Carry this that's my homide. He's my onecologist as well. Doctor Mike Mike is a home Yeah, he is. I like the guy.
I trust him my life. No, I liked him if I if I were I would. If I were a woman, I would go, you would go three five? What Jason?
I don't believe you putting STDs on this man. Don't you just want to do like a fresh start every time.
I'm not gonna forget We've been doing for years.
It's not about forgetting it. It's just about what's gonna make you feel good and want to like, Okay, we're just gonna like try something like. I don't necessarily mean that he has an STD.
I don't know you were good. No, but that's not my choice. That wouldn't make me feel good or refreshed. Maybe he's different.
Yeah, I just I don't know. Hey, coach coach Mason, Well we get how you doing?
Sorry, hey, hour you guys do it.
I am coach Mason. I'm a behavior therapist here in the South suburbs of Chicago.
Fantastic, we have an actual licensed individual. Go ahead, Oh we do I think that one.
All of this justtions you've given her a great yes, go get checked out medically. I think it's wonderful when people have spiritual epiphanies and they, you know, choose to make themselves better, you know, through religion. In addition to that I think also making sure that he hasn't had like the rapid onset of like some underlying psychological issue that she may not know about. I come from a family that is severely impacted by mental health issues, and the rapid switch of like going religious or being hyper religious is sympematic of a couple of different mood disorders that could be going on. So just making sure that she truly does know the person that you know she loves, and that she knows his history and his family history, and if there's a likelihood that this could be related to something else, not that people don't you know, find the Lord or you know, uh, get involved and make themselves better once we become older and we're getting ready to have big life changes, but just making sure that it's not something else that's going on that maybe she does that know about it.
And Coach Mason all jokes aside. I do think there's something to the fact that this just hit him all of a sudden that you pointed out, like, I feel like this is something that you might discuss over time, Like you know, I'm really thinking of it. Like people who just wake up one day and go I'm religious now and we're not doing this, then the other thing, okay, But like if you're in a year's long relationship with someone, I feel like it might be something that is like, you know, hey, maybe months ago she would have heard like, have you you ever thought maybe we like what if we were to abstain until we got married kind of like hey, I don't know, or maybe we should start going to the church more because we're going to be getting married in the church, and it would be more authentic if we were like really in touch with our spirituality. Like I feel like that's something that you would discuss over time. You wouldn't just wake up one day and go, hey, none of that until we get married in about a year or so.
Sorry, you know, because and we.
Need to get like super involved in this new thing that I decided to.
Wake up and do yesterday.
So I want to make sure there's nothing else.
Going on there. Yeah, Coach Mason, thank you, have a good day. Thank you guys, and thank you for listening. Francis, Francis, you agree with Kiki. Thank you finally.
Very much much, Thank you, frank There will be a time that is, hopefully if they're getting married forever, that they won't be able to have sex. Don't you want to have a deeper connection? Now, don't you want to know somebody to the level that you all don't have to be physically intimate to be intimate. I think that's beautiful that he loves her enough. So let's wait. No, I do believe they should have had a discussion. But the fact that she has to call a radio station instead of talking to him is saying a lot. Well, now, hold on a second, I would have talked to my fiance.
Well yeah, and also, like.
I don't know, I mean, let's say it wasn't religious and somebody called up here and said, yeah, my fiance just won't sleep with me anymore like that, that would that would indicate some sort of lack of connection or some sort of guilt or some sort of deeper issue.
I don't know.
It just to me, it seems so sudden and it doesn't and it just seems like a real It almost feels like a reaction to something else.
But what is that thing? I don't know.
But on the fact what you said, the fact what you said, it's not like he's like, oh, I didn't see you all have sex, that's why you can repent. Yes, we have sex before, but now we're taking we're.
Taking this out, We're reaching.
Yeah, I just feel like it's beautiful enough to take ta.
I do love you, Francis. But here's the thing.
I don't think I could possibly repent. Like like God and I have a nice relationship. I am.
I am a spiritual person.
I do.
But he he knows we're at a point. We're at a point now where he's just like I got it, okay, Like we're moving forward. We're we're on to Pittsburgh, you know what I mean, like Bill Belichick, We're moving on to New York.
Thank you, Francis, have a good day.
Thank you you too.
Yeah. I don't know about that, but it's a sweet sentiment.
It is.
But I also think again, I think it's something you discuss. It's a some you'd come to together, and he would communicate exactly what Because if I'm dating somebody and or I'm engaged them or whatever, and they come to me one day and say we're not sleeping together anymore, just like that, there is something going on.
He didn't say anymore. He said until the wedding, well basically anymore, because year a year I suppose no.
Jennifer, Hi, Yes, right, Hi, how are you? Good morning, Jennifer welcome. What did you want to say?
I just want to say she needs to go. I mean the fact that she needs to even call in and ask about this, Like, no one wakes up one morning, especially when they're that they're not religious, to say that they want to follow this. It's not like they're taking marriage classes with their pastor and their pastor's advising this, Like she needs to look deeper. He's just not into her anymore, sadly, and I think he's just needing some kind of excuse to kind of not be physical with her right now. And she's just she knows her everyone has a good feeling. She's a woman, she knows That's why she called it.
Yeah, And Jennifer, the only time in relationships that I've ever been like no more of that is when something is very disconnected. The only because otherwise I'm in a relationship with you. We're going to commit a relationship, Like that's a perk, right if you choose to do that, if that's what you're into, you know, and I realize people feel different, Well, no, I mean you're into but I realized that people feel differently, and people have different religious beliefs, and people do have stain or I mean celibate and all that.
But again like that and it's all good.
But like if I'm in a relationship and I'm just like I don't, that's not a part of the relationship. I want to explore right now, then something's wrong and we got to figure out what it is. And instead of talking about it, he's just saying, Jennifer, thank you for calling.
Of course, you have a good day.
If someone when that's Shawnie, Shanny, you went to me the same thing I did. Okay, So what happened?
So my spouse all of a sudden wanted to go to church and want to do not necessarily be slivant, but I wanted to do more Christian like things. And come to find out, it was because her girlfriend is very religious. Her her girlfriend. Yeah, so I was married to a woman. I was actually on stair though I was the fake cheater.
Oh yes, yeah, okay, okay.
So she was actually cheating and her girlfriend is very religious, comes from a very religious house family, and that she be religious. She wanted to appease her girlfriend.
I see, Okay, so in this case, she wasn't doing it necessarily for her own religious stand She was doing it for the person who she was cheating on you with.
Right and now that we're divorced, she is and she goes to church and she ties, and she's everything. She is like everything for this essentially the fortress that she has.
We've met her, we've met you before. Yeah, I was at the meet and green. Yeah, you're fine at now, You'll be fine. Don't worry about.
It else, She'll be totally fine.
I remember her. I'm about to text my boyfriend and see how he reacts. Oh, yes, I would love to.
Yeah, yeah, I want you to text Shane and say, hey, you know what the problem is. He knows you're with a bunch of clowns right now, so he But if you're.
Like, hey, you know what, what should I say? I want to be closer to this.
Kekey wants to take me to church this weekend, and she was suggesting that maybe I need to abstain if I'm truly going to embrace you know what I'm experiencing. And I just wanted to know how you feel about that.
Okay. I knew she wasn't a real friend he wants to start taking me to church.
