Jordan Gray is a relationship coach who has written hundreds of articles that have been read by over 250 million people worldwide. He has worked with tens of thousands of clients via his programs, groups, and 1-on-1 coaching. 

He joins me on this episode to talk about how to get the most out of life as the challenges land on our doorstep. 

We discuss:
Moving from bachelor to committed relationship
Marriage has actually been great
Dating takes a lot of energy!
Finding someone who’s also a giver
Each relationship is different, so relationship advice can’t be universal
Look for a counterpoint to where you and your partner tend to go too far, for example with too much or too little structure.
Fears of going into marriage: "what if things get worse and worse and I’m stuck?"
The practice of addressing troubles in the relationship rather than just enduring them.
Phases of life: dating and deeper relationships.
Thresholds of deepening into a relationship.
Preparing for parenthood.
The benefits of becoming a generalist, of getting off the computer and chopping wood.
City life vs. country life
Giving up financial opportunities for the sake of heart and happiness.
Relationship with money: between the poles of demonizing it and making it one’s god
The importance of choosing friends who support your objectives.
Solo therapy compared to group therapy.
In parenting, offering children both safety and adventurous risk.
How it can help children to see their parents work responsibly.
How being a parent can limit available work time, but make it more potent.
Screen addiction and parenthood.
Countering screen addiction with finding a deeper purpose.



Links:

Jordan Gray’s website

Productivity course

The Level-Up Your Relationships Workshop

Jordan Gray is a relationship coach who has written hundreds of articles that have been read by over 250 million people worldwide. He has worked with tens of thousands of clients via his programs, groups, and 1-on-1 coaching. 
He joins me on this episode to talk about how to get the most out of life as the challenges land on our doorstep.  We discuss:
<ul>
<li>Moving from bachelor to committed relationship</li>
<li>Marriage has actually been great</li>
<li>Dating takes a lot of energy!</li>
<li>Finding someone who’s also a giver</li>
<li>Each relationship is different, so relationship advice can’t be universal</li>
<li>Look for a counterpoint to where you and your partner tend to go too far, for example with too much or too little structure.</li>
<li>Fears of going into marriage: "what if things get worse and worse and I’m stuck?"</li>
<li>The practice of addressing troubles in the relationship rather than just enduring them.</li>
<li>Phases of life: dating and deeper relationships.</li>
<li>Thresholds of deepening into a relationship.</li>
<li>Preparing for parenthood.</li>
<li>The benefits of becoming a generalist, of getting off the computer and chopping wood.</li>
<li>City life vs. country life</li>
<li>Giving up financial opportunities for the sake of heart and happiness.</li>
<li>Relationship with money: between the poles of demonizing it and making it one’s god</li>
<li>The importance of choosing friends who support your objectives.</li>
<li>Solo therapy compared to group therapy.</li>
<li>In parenting, offering children both safety and adventurous risk.</li>
<li>How it can help children to see their parents work responsibly.</li>
<li>How being a parent can limit available work time, but make it more potent.</li>
<li>Screen addiction and parenthood.</li>
<li>Countering screen addiction with finding a deeper purpose.</li>
</ul>
 
Links:
<a href="https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com">Jordan Gray’s website</a>
<a href="https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/courses/pp/">Productivity course</a> <a href="https://evolvingman.com/">The Level-Up Your Relationships Workshop</a>

The Evolving Man podcast features leaders and influencers in the personal growth arena who are actively engaged in "deep work", whether that be as a healer, or someone doing their own work. The guests on this podcast have a unique gift that they bring to the world, and they come to share these gifts with listeners. 

Tune in to witness discussions about addiction, consciousness, masculinity,  health and personal growth.

The Evolving Man Podcast

The Evolving Man podcast features leaders who are strong forces of change in the world. Tune in to witness discussions about relationships, mens' work, addiction recovery, and healing.

The Evolving Man podcast features leaders who are strong forces of change in the world. Tune in to witness discussions about relationships, mens' work, addiction recovery, and healing.

#89 - Reclaiming Your Focus and Finding Peaceful Productivity - with Jordan Gray

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into the world of sacred plant medicines, indigenous wisdom, and conscious parenting with the extraordinary Vivien Vilela. Join us as we explore the delicate art of harvesting peyote, the spiritual importance of maintaining a respectful relationship with the earth, and the dangers of commodifying sacred plants. Vivien shares her journey from the party scene to a profound spiritual awakening. We discuss the significance of ceremony and proper guidance when working with plant medicines, and we specifically discuss Peyote.

We also discuss the visionary Aniwa Gathering, a transformative event founded by Vivien, which brings together indigenous leaders from around the world to share sacred ceremonies and wisdom without the use of entheogenic medicines. Learn about the critical need for sustainable practices, the impact of screen addiction on children's development, and how to raise children naturally in a city environment.

Ben and Vivien also reflect on their personal experiences, the importance of spiritual initiations, and the lifelong journey of personal growth and healing. Whether you're a parent, a seeker of spiritual wisdom, or someone curious about indigenous practices, this episode offers valuable insights into living a conscious, connected life. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that promises to leave you inspired and informed.

 On this episode, we discuss:
Harvesting and use of Peyote properly
Destruction and Disruption of Peyote Plants
Efforts to educate on responsible harvesting
Indigenous Cultural Practices
Emphasis on reciprocity and respectful relationships with the earth
Rituals such as fasting, offerings, and spiritual connection
Commodification and Misappropriation
Concerns over sacred plant medicines being commodified
Importance of traditional initiations and proper practices
The dangers of recreational use without proper guidance
Adherence to indigenous practitioner wishes
Ceremony and Reciprocity
Knowledgeable Practitioners and Offerings
Importance of sitting in ceremony with experienced practitioners
Physical and spiritual offerings
Reciprocity and its significance
Aniwa Gathering

Focus on spiritual connection without entheogenic medicines

Use of natural herbs like cacao, tobacco, and sage

Raising funds for indigenous projects through the Huya Aniwa foundation
Peyote’s Spiritual Significance

Description of peyote and its roots in Mexico and Texas

Its role in connecting individuals to their true selves and ancestral memory

Importance of using peyote in the right ceremonial context
Indigenous wisdom on parenting 

Lack of initiation rituals in western societies

Approaches to avoid screen time and societal pressures

Emphasis on discipline with love and fostering unconditional love and respect

Traditional midwifery and keeping children close

Nurturing imagination and avoiding artificial toys
Faster brain development in indigenous children in nature
Challenges in City Environments

Pushback from society and finding natural stimuli
The impact of screens on children’s emotional balance and ability to be present
Concerns about excessive screen time

Conscious living as parents
Personal Growth and Spiritual Awakening

Vivien’s Story

Journey from party scene and drug use to spiritual awakening

Spiritual session leading to significant growth



Aniwa Gathering

Aniwa’s main site

Aniwa on instagram

Hyua Aniwa

Aniwa on Youtube

Ben’s Freedom From Addiction Circle

In today's episode, we’re diving deep into the world of sacred plant medicines, indigenous wisdom, and conscious parenting with the extraordinary Vivien Vilela. Join us as we explore the delicate art of harvesting peyote, the spiritual importance of maintaining a respectful relationship with the earth, and the dangers of commodifying sacred plants. Vivien shares her journey from the party scene to a profound spiritual awakening. We discuss the significance of ceremony and proper guidance when working with plant medicines, and we specifically discuss Peyote.
We also discuss the visionary Aniwa Gathering, a transformative event founded by Vivien, which brings together indigenous leaders from around the world to share sacred ceremonies and wisdom without the use of entheogenic medicines. Learn about the critical need for sustainable practices, the impact of screen addiction on children's development, and how to raise children naturally in a city environment.
Ben and Vivien also reflect on their personal experiences, the importance of spiritual initiations, and the lifelong journey of personal growth and healing. Whether you're a parent, a seeker of spiritual wisdom, or someone curious about indigenous practices, this episode offers valuable insights into living a conscious, connected life. Tune in for an enlightening conversation that promises to leave you inspired and informed.
 On this episode, we discuss:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Harvesting and use of Peyote properly</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Destruction and Disruption of Peyote Plants</li>
<li aria-level="1">Efforts to educate on responsible harvesting</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Indigenous Cultural Practices</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Emphasis on reciprocity and respectful relationships with the earth</li>
<li aria-level="1">Rituals such as fasting, offerings, and spiritual connection</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Commodification and Misappropriation</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Concerns over sacred plant medicines being commodified</li>
<li aria-level="1">Importance of traditional initiations and proper practices</li>
<li aria-level="1">The dangers of recreational use without proper guidance</li>
<li aria-level="1">Adherence to indigenous practitioner wishes</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Ceremony and Reciprocity</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Knowledgeable Practitioners and Offerings</li>
<li aria-level="1">Importance of sitting in ceremony with experienced practitioners</li>
<li aria-level="1">Physical and spiritual offerings</li>
<li aria-level="1">Reciprocity and its significance</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Aniwa Gathering</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Focus on spiritual connection without entheogenic medicines</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Use of natural herbs like cacao, tobacco, and sage</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Raising funds for indigenous projects through the Huya Aniwa foundation</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Peyote’s Spiritual Significance</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Description of peyote and its roots in Mexico and Texas</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Its role in connecting individuals to their true selves and ancestral memory</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Importance of using peyote in the right ceremonial context</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Indigenous wisdom on parenting </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Lack of initiation rituals in western societies</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Approaches to avoid screen time and societal pressures</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Emphasis on discipline with love and fostering unconditional love and respect</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Traditional midwifery and keeping children close</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Nurturing imagination and avoiding artificial toys</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Faster brain development in indigenous children in nature</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Challenges in City Environments</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Pushback from society and finding natural stimuli</li>
<li>The impact of screens on children’s emotional balance and ability to be present</li>
<li aria-level="1">Concerns about excessive screen time</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Conscious living as parents</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Personal Growth and Spiritual Awakening</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Vivien’s Story</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Journey from party scene and drug use to spiritual awakening</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Spiritual session leading to significant growth</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
 
<a href="https://www.aniwagathering.com/">Aniwa Gathering</a>
<a href="https://www.aniwa.co">Aniwa’s main site</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/aniwa.co/">Aniwa on instagram</a>
<a href="https://www.huyaaniwa.org">Hyua Aniwa</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@AniwaCommunity">Aniwa on Youtube</a>
<a href="https://evolvingman.com/freedom-from-addiction/">Ben’s Freedom From Addiction Circle</a>

#91 - Indigenous Wisdom on Parenting, Plant Medicines, and Personal Growth - with Vivien Vilela

Charlie Bloom and his wife Linda have been writing and teaching about relationships for decades, and he joins me on the heels of the release of their recent book “An End To Arguing: 101 Valuable Lessons For All Relationships”

We discuss these points and more:

-Differences are unavoidable; conflict is not.

-Your partner thinks differently than you.

-Ways to free yourselves from impasses.

-It’s often better to just drop a fight until your heads are cooler.

-Deepening a relationship beats winning an argument.

-Speak according to the receptivity of your partner.

-Learn to see the fears of yourself and your partner.

-Learn to share responsibility for problems with your partner.

-Coming out of victim scripts into co-creation.

-Different relationships have different kinds of conflict.

-Are there couples who never fight?

-Learning how to be in conflict.

-‘Sudden’ endings to relationships are often years in the making.

-Translating relational teachings into action.

-Losing the hope that you’ll never get triggered

-The biases of friends supporting us in relationships.

Links: 

Charlie and Linda Bloom’s website

The Creating Conscious Love Course

Charlie Bloom and his wife Linda have been writing and teaching about relationships for decades, and he joins me on the heels of the release of their recent book “An End To Arguing: 101 Valuable Lessons For All Relationships”
We discuss these points and more:
-Differences are unavoidable; conflict is not.
-Your partner thinks differently than you.
-Ways to free yourselves from impasses.
-It’s often better to just drop a fight until your heads are cooler.
-Deepening a relationship beats winning an argument.
-Speak according to the receptivity of your partner.
-Learn to see the fears of yourself and your partner.
-Learn to share responsibility for problems with your partner.
-Coming out of victim scripts into co-creation.
-Different relationships have different kinds of conflict.
-Are there couples who never fight?
-Learning how to be in conflict.
-‘Sudden’ endings to relationships are often years in the making.
-Translating relational teachings into action.
-Losing the hope that you’ll never get triggered
-The biases of friends supporting us in relationships.
Links: 
<a href="https://bloomwork.com/">Charlie and Linda Bloom’s website</a>
<a href="https://risingwoman.clickfunnels.com/launch-page-11593024164506">The Creating Conscious Love Course</a>

#90 - An End To Arguing: Valuable Lessons For Relationships - with Charlie Bloom

Dr. Manesh Girn is a postdoctoral neuroscientist and popular science content creator specializing in the neuroscience of psychedelic drugs. He currently works at the University of California, San Francisco, alongside psychedelic research pioneer Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris, where he conducts research on the neural mechanisms underlying the psychedelic experience and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. 

In addition to his research, Manesh runs a popular digital platform on Instagram and YouTube called "The Psychedelic Scientist”, where he shares the latest findings in psychedelic science in a digestible and easy to understand way. 

In this episode, we discuss:
Manesh's journey from head to heart, from bypassing emotions to inhabiting them.
Emotion centred, body-focused therapy (beating pillows with weapons.)
How Manesh got his start in psychedelic research.
How an early psychedelic experience opened Manesh up to different takes on reality.
Finding the support to go beyond intellect.
The various healing/transformational modalities of:

breathwork
men’s groups
psychedelics
conscious relationship training
How different psychedelics affect our brains differently.
Neuroplasticity: how psychedelics can help change thought patterns.
Psychedelics for those with with trauma and depression.
The importance of support in psychedelic journeys
Setting down a belief that life is intrinsically unsafe.
Learning to recognize people and situations that are safe.
Integrating psychedelic experiences for lasting change.
The importance of intention before and after a psychedelic journey.
Psychedelics as an aid to innovation.
Psychedelics for people in positions of power.

Manesh’s Youtube

Manesh’s website

Manesh’s Instagram

Arka Brotherhood Men’s Community

Dr. Manesh Girn is a postdoctoral neuroscientist and popular science content creator specializing in the neuroscience of psychedelic drugs. He currently works at the University of California, San Francisco, alongside psychedelic research pioneer Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris, where he conducts research on the neural mechanisms underlying the psychedelic experience and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. 
In addition to his research, Manesh runs a popular digital platform on Instagram and YouTube called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ThePsychedelicScientist">"The Psychedelic Scientist”</a>, where he shares the latest findings in psychedelic science in a digestible and easy to understand way. 
In this episode, we discuss:
<ul>
<li>Manesh's journey from head to heart, from bypassing emotions to inhabiting them.</li>
<li>Emotion centred, body-focused therapy (beating pillows with weapons.)</li>
<li>How Manesh got his start in psychedelic research.</li>
<li>How an early psychedelic experience opened Manesh up to different takes on reality.</li>
<li>Finding the support to go beyond intellect.</li>
<li>The various healing/transformational modalities of:
<ul>
<li>breathwork</li>
<li>men’s groups</li>
<li>psychedelics</li>
<li>conscious relationship training</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>How different psychedelics affect our brains differently.</li>
<li>Neuroplasticity: how psychedelics can help change thought patterns.</li>
<li>Psychedelics for those with with trauma and depression.</li>
<li>The importance of support in psychedelic journeys</li>
<li>Setting down a belief that life is intrinsically unsafe.</li>
<li>Learning to recognize people and situations that are safe.</li>
<li>Integrating psychedelic experiences for lasting change.</li>
<li>The importance of intention before and after a psychedelic journey.</li>
<li>Psychedelics as an aid to innovation.</li>
<li>Psychedelics for people in positions of power.</li>
</ul>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ThePsychedelicScientist">Manesh’s Youtube</a>
<a href="https://maneshgirn.com/">Manesh’s website</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/maneshgirn/">Manesh’s Instagram </a><a href="http://arkabrotherhood.com">Arka Brotherhood Men’s Community</a>

#89 - Reclaiming Your Focus and Finding Peaceful Productivity - with Jordan Gray

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