Jayson Gaddis is an author, podcaster, speaker, and “personal trainer for relationships”. He is a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection. He joins me on the show to discuss the keys to success in relationship, and his book “Getting To Zero - How To Work Through Conflict In Your High Stakes Relationships”.

In this episode we discuss:
How to be better in relationships.
The Relationship School.
The one common denominator in relationship struggles – ourselves.
Avoidance tendencies.
How we learn to “do conflict”.
Conflict as an inevitable part of a relationship.
Conflict as a mirror.
Honest and authentic interactions.  
How to manage and navigate conflict.
The “why” of relationships.
Active listening skill development.
The higher purpose of relationships.
Relational blueprints.
Attachment/Conflict Styles: Seeker and Avoider.
Polarity and romance.
Shadow Vows.
How to handle your triggers and your partner’s triggers?
Attuning to loved one’s nervous systems.
What’s at the core of getting back to zero?
Understanding the other person’s experience (LUFU).
10 Roadblocks to Reconnection.
Where else can these tools be applied in your life?

Links from this Episode 
The Relationship School Website
The Relationship School Instagram
Jayson’s Instagram
Getting to Zero Website 
Jayson’s Facebook
Jayson’s Twitter
Jayson’s YouTube
The Conscious Relationship Council

Jayson Gaddis is an author, podcaster, speaker, and &ldquo;personal trainer for relationships&rdquo;. He is a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection. He joins me on the show to discuss the keys to success in relationship, and his book &ldquo;Getting To Zero - How To Work Through Conflict In Your High Stakes Relationships&rdquo;.
In this episode we discuss:
<ul>
<li>How to be better in relationships.</li>
<li>The Relationship School.</li>
<li>The one common denominator in relationship struggles &ndash; ourselves.</li>
<li>Avoidance tendencies.</li>
<li>How we learn to &ldquo;do conflict&rdquo;.</li>
<li>Conflict as an inevitable part of a relationship.</li>
<li>Conflict as a mirror.</li>
<li>Honest and authentic interactions.&nbsp;&nbsp;</li>
<li>How to manage and navigate conflict.</li>
<li>The &ldquo;why&rdquo; of relationships.</li>
<li>Active listening skill development.</li>
<li>The higher purpose of relationships.</li>
<li>Relational blueprints.</li>
<li>Attachment/Conflict Styles: Seeker and Avoider.</li>
<li>Polarity and romance.</li>
<li>Shadow Vows.</li>
<li>How to handle your triggers and your partner&rsquo;s triggers?</li>
<li>Attuning to loved one&rsquo;s nervous systems.</li>
<li>What&rsquo;s at the core of getting back to zero?</li>
<li>Understanding the other person&rsquo;s experience (LUFU).</li>
<li>10 Roadblocks to Reconnection.</li>
<li>Where else can these tools be applied in your life?</li>
</ul>
Links from this Episode&nbsp;
<ul>
<li><a href="https://relationshipschool.com/">The Relationship School Website</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/therelationshipschool">The Relationship School Instagram</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis">Jayson&rsquo;s Instagram</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/">Getting to Zero Website&nbsp;</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/jaysongaddisfanpage/">Jayson&rsquo;s Facebook</a></li>
<li><a href="https://twitter.com/jaygaddis">Jayson&rsquo;s Twitter</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeFfW3sn34YjXevKiinGvfA">Jayson&rsquo;s YouTube</a></li>
<li><a href="https://evolvingman.com/conscious-relationship-council/">The Conscious Relationship Council</a></li>
</ul>

The Evolving Man podcast features leaders and influencers in the personal growth arena who are actively engaged in "deep work", whether that be as a healer, or someone doing their own work. The guests on this podcast have a unique gift that they bring to the world, and they come to share these gifts with listeners. 

Tune in to witness discussions about addiction, consciousness, masculinity,  health and personal growth.

The Evolving Man Podcast

The Evolving Man podcast features inspiring figures who are strong forces of change in the world. Tune in to witness discussions about personal growth, romantic relationships, parenting, men's work, addiction recovery, and healing.

The Evolving Man podcast features inspiring figures who are strong forces of change in the world. Tune in to witness discussions about personal growth, romantic relationships, parenting, men's work, addiction recovery, and healing.

#64 - Working Through Conflict In High-Stakes Relationships - w/ Jayson Gaddis

Kute Blackson is an author, speaker, and true spiritual visionary. In this episode, we dive deep into discovering your soul's true calling. We talk about Kute’s powerful journey leaving his father's shadow, navigating the unknown with courage, and how real transformation is about shedding old patterns to reveal your authentic self. 

Kute shares how surrendering to life's guidance opens doors you never expected, leading not only to personal success, but deep fulfillment. If you want some deep wisdom on how to “find your purpose”, this episode is rich with inspiration.

In this episode, we dig into:

– Kute Blackson’s inspiring journey as a spiritual visionary, speaker, and author.
– His story of upbringing in Ghana, Japan, and London, and his exposure to miracle work and spirituality from a young age.
– Kute’s early life speaking in his father’s churches and being named as his father’s successor at age 14.
– The internal struggle and courage it took for Kute to break away from his father’s path to follow his own calling.
– Key reflections on a man’s journey with his father and the pivotal coming-of-age moment of “facing the father.”
– Deep discussion on the concept of surrender – what it truly means and its role in personal evolution.
– Debunking common misconceptions about surrender as weakness or passivity.
– The spiritual principles of letting go, un-learning, and uncovering our true essence.
– The dance between intention, action, and surrender – how to tune into your soul’s calling without being overly attached to outcomes.
– The analogy of surrender in life to lovemaking and surfing, highlighting the balance between action and allowing.
– Practical insights on following intuition, even when the path is unclear.
– Kute’s green card “miracle” story and the power of trusting life’s guidance.
– The importance of embracing the “void” or unknown as a necessary space for growth and transformation.
– Kute’s journey to the US and the challenges of building a purpose-driven life from scratch.
– His first attempts at launching a talk show in Hollywood, the attachment to a specific vision, and obedience to deeper spiritual guidance.
– Kute’s transformative pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago and time in India, leading to new breakthroughs.
– The evolution of his work: from coaching one-on-one to leading international retreats and writing bestselling books.
– The vital distinction between laziness and true surrender – aligning with deep personal commitment over fleeting moods.
– The process and importance of generational healing, specifically the powerful healing and reconciliation with his father.
– How healing with his father impacted his own son and future lineage (“the generational wealth of consciousness”).
– The value of men’s groups and real stories in fostering true change and support.
– How Kute embodies and teaches deep listening, surrender, and walking the unknown path.

Links from this episode:

Kute Blackson’s Website
Kute’s Book: You Are The One 
Kute’s Book: The Magic of Surrender 
Soul Talk with Kute Blackson (Podcast) 
8 Levels of Gratitude (Free Online Course)

Evolving Man’s Conscious Relationship Council

The Freedom From Addiction Circle

Kute Blackson is an author, speaker, and true spiritual visionary. In this episode, we dive deep into discovering your soul's true calling. We talk about Kute&rsquo;s powerful journey leaving his father's shadow, navigating the unknown with courage, and how real transformation is about shedding old patterns to reveal your authentic self.&nbsp;
Kute shares how surrendering to life's guidance opens doors you never expected, leading not only to personal success, but deep fulfillment. If you want some deep wisdom on how to &ldquo;find your purpose&rdquo;, this episode is rich with inspiration.
In this episode, we dig into:
&ndash; Kute Blackson&rsquo;s inspiring journey as a spiritual visionary, speaker, and author. &ndash; His story of upbringing in Ghana, Japan, and London, and his exposure to miracle work and spirituality from a young age. &ndash; Kute&rsquo;s early life speaking in his father&rsquo;s churches and being named as his father&rsquo;s successor at age 14. &ndash; The internal struggle and courage it took for Kute to break away from his father&rsquo;s path to follow his own calling. &ndash; Key reflections on a man&rsquo;s journey with his father and the pivotal coming-of-age moment of &ldquo;facing the father.&rdquo; &ndash; Deep discussion on the concept of surrender &ndash; what it truly means and its role in personal evolution. &ndash; Debunking common misconceptions about surrender as weakness or passivity. &ndash; The spiritual principles of letting go, un-learning, and uncovering our true essence. &ndash; The dance between intention, action, and surrender &ndash; how to tune into your soul&rsquo;s calling without being overly attached to outcomes. &ndash; The analogy of surrender in life to lovemaking and surfing, highlighting the balance between action and allowing. &ndash; Practical insights on following intuition, even when the path is unclear. &ndash; Kute&rsquo;s green card &ldquo;miracle&rdquo; story and the power of trusting life&rsquo;s guidance. &ndash; The importance of embracing the &ldquo;void&rdquo; or unknown as a necessary space for growth and transformation. &ndash; Kute&rsquo;s journey to the US and the challenges of building a purpose-driven life from scratch. &ndash; His first attempts at launching a talk show in Hollywood, the attachment to a specific vision, and obedience to deeper spiritual guidance. &ndash; Kute&rsquo;s transformative pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago and time in India, leading to new breakthroughs. &ndash; The evolution of his work: from coaching one-on-one to leading international retreats and writing bestselling books. &ndash; The vital distinction between laziness and true surrender &ndash; aligning with deep personal commitment over fleeting moods. &ndash; The process and importance of generational healing, specifically the powerful healing and reconciliation with his father. &ndash; How healing with his father impacted his own son and future lineage (&ldquo;the generational wealth of consciousness&rdquo;). &ndash; The value of men&rsquo;s groups and real stories in fostering true change and support. &ndash; How Kute embodies and teaches deep listening, surrender, and walking the unknown path.
Links from this episode:
<a href="https://kuteblackson.com/">Kute Blackson&rsquo;s Website </a><a href="https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-One-Adventure-Discovering/dp/1501127306">Kute&rsquo;s Book: You Are The One </a><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Surrender-Finding-Courage-Let/dp/0593421469/">Kute&rsquo;s Book: The Magic of Surrender </a><a href="https://kuteblackson.com/soultalk/">Soul Talk with Kute Blackson (Podcast) </a><a href="https://www.8levelsofgratitude.com/the-8-levels-of-gratitude">8 Levels of Gratitude (Free Online Course)</a>
<a href="https://evolvingman.com/conscious-relationship-council/">Evolving Man&rsquo;s Conscious Relationship Council</a>
<a href="https://evolvingman.com/freedom-from-addiction-circle/">The Freedom From Addiction Circle</a>

#104 - Finding And Following Your Soul’s Path: Courage And Surrender - with Kute Blackson 

Devin Frederickson is a men’s coach, permaculturalist, and close friend of mine from Maui, Hawaii. He joins me on the show to share the most impactful stories, tools, and insights he has gained throughout his life thus far. We cover a wide breadth of subjects on this show, from Devin’s near-death experience to healing addiction, along with a peek at fatherhood as Devin prepares for his first child. 

Here’s what you’ll discover in this conversation:

A Near-Death Experience That Changed Everything - Devin shares his vivid story of a near-fatal accidental MDMA overdose in his early 20s. This was his spiritual wake-up call. Hear how this out-of-body journey made him rethink his entire approach to life, health, and responsibility—and why gratitude is now at the core of his daily practice.

The Lifelong Power of Men’s Mentorship - Both Devin and I open up about the pivotal mentors in our lives—the wise men who showed up without judgment and offered guidance when we needed it most. Devin describes how chance encounters with older men in the permaculture and yoga worlds guided him through turbulent years, while I reflect on the legacy of my own 12 step sponsor.

Healing Porn Addiction & Reclaiming Sexual Energy We get real about a topic that often stays hidden: porn addiction. Devin bravely recounts his early exposure to porn, how it shaped his relationships, and the slow creep into compulsive behaviors - and he outlines the steps to recovery and deeper self-connection. He also introduces the “Multi-Orgasmic Man” practice and explains how mastering your sexual energy can transform every area of your life.

Men’s Work: From Sovereignty to Kingship Devin breaks down his journey with men’s groups - starting with Sacred Sons, moving through years of cross-generational mentorship, and finally building his own programs: Sovereign and Shameless and now Becoming the King. If you’ve ever wondered how to truly “come home to yourself,” harness your power, and step into conscious leadership as a man, this episode is for you.

A Peek Into Conscious Fatherhood - On the personal front  Devin shares the anticipation (and vulnerability) of expecting his first child. He talks about the surrender, support, and trust needed as he and his wife move through pregnancy - plus how fatherhood is already changing him before it’s even begun.

We also touch on:
The role of permaculture & nature as spiritual teachers
Somatic healing and how real breakthroughs happen in-person
The importance (and challenge) of honest friendship and community as men

 

Links from this episode:

Devin’s Instagram - @devinfredericksen

Men’s Groups - Arka Brotherhood

The Freedom From Addiction Circle

Join Devin's Newsletter

Devin Frederickson is a men&rsquo;s coach, permaculturalist, and close friend of mine from Maui, Hawaii. He joins me on the show to share the most impactful stories, tools, and insights he has gained throughout his life thus far. We cover a wide breadth of subjects on this show, from Devin&rsquo;s near-death experience to healing addiction, along with a peek at fatherhood as Devin prepares for his first child.&nbsp;
Here&rsquo;s what you&rsquo;ll discover in this conversation:
A Near-Death Experience That Changed Everything - Devin shares his vivid story of a near-fatal accidental MDMA overdose in his early 20s. This was his spiritual wake-up call. Hear how this out-of-body journey made him rethink his entire approach to life, health, and responsibility&mdash;and why gratitude is now at the core of his daily practice.
The Lifelong Power of Men&rsquo;s Mentorship - Both Devin and I open up about the pivotal mentors in our lives&mdash;the wise men who showed up without judgment and offered guidance when we needed it most. Devin describes how chance encounters with older men in the permaculture and yoga worlds guided him through turbulent years, while I reflect on the legacy of my own 12 step sponsor.
Healing Porn Addiction &amp; Reclaiming Sexual Energy We get real about a topic that often stays hidden: porn addiction. Devin bravely recounts his early exposure to porn, how it shaped his relationships, and the slow creep into compulsive behaviors - and he outlines the steps to recovery and deeper self-connection. He also introduces the &ldquo;Multi-Orgasmic Man&rdquo; practice and explains how mastering your sexual energy can transform every area of your life.
Men&rsquo;s Work: From Sovereignty to Kingship Devin breaks down his journey with men&rsquo;s groups - starting with Sacred Sons, moving through years of cross-generational mentorship, and finally building his own programs: Sovereign and Shameless and now Becoming the King. If you&rsquo;ve ever wondered how to truly &ldquo;come home to yourself,&rdquo; harness your power, and step into conscious leadership as a man, this episode is for you.
A Peek Into Conscious Fatherhood - On the personal front&nbsp; Devin shares the anticipation (and vulnerability) of expecting his first child. He talks about the surrender, support, and trust needed as he and his wife move through pregnancy - plus how fatherhood is already changing him before it&rsquo;s even begun.
We also touch on:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">The role of permaculture &amp; nature as spiritual teachers</li>
<li aria-level="1">Somatic healing and how real breakthroughs happen in-person</li>
<li aria-level="1">The importance (and challenge) of honest friendship and community as men</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Links from this episode: Devin&rsquo;s Instagram - <a href="https://www.instagram.com/devinfredericksen/">@devinfredericksen</a>
Men&rsquo;s Groups -&nbsp;<a href="https://arkabrotherhood.com/">Arka Brotherhood</a>
<a href="https://evolvingman.com/freedom-from-addiction/">The Freedom From Addiction Circle</a>
<a href="https://devinfredericksen.kit.com/bc5bcae699">Join Devin's Newsletter</a>

#103 - From Near Death To New Life: Harnessing Masculine Energy And Healing Addiction with Devin Fredericksen

John Wang is the author of the recently released Big Asian Energy, the host of the Big Asian Energy show, and a coach and speaker helping Asian professionals break through barriers. He’s worked with clients at Google, Apple, Amazon, and Goldman Sachs, blending cultural insight and science-backed strategies to build confidence and visibility. John’s content on assertiveness and imposter syndrome has reached over 25 million views.

Here are the major topics we dig into in this episode: 

🔥 Authentic Leadership & Dropping the Mask
We get real about what true leadership looks like — and, just as importantly, what it doesn’t. John shares the pitfalls of performative leadership, how people can sense inauthenticity, and the power of leading from mission rather than ego.

❤️ Humility vs. Toxic Humility
We dive deep into the concept of humility, especially within the context of cultural conditioning. John distinguishes between embracing genuine humility and falling into a pattern of self-erasure — something he experienced firsthand growing up as a person of Asian descent in the Western world.

🌏 The Inner East Meets the Inner West
For all the listeners who’ve ever felt like they straddle two worlds — this conversation is for you. John opens up about reconciling his “internal East and West,” the struggle of trying to fit into multiple cultures, and the beauty (and challenge) of true integration.

🧠 Healing the Wound Behind the Mask
We explore how so many of us walk through life with invisible wounds, wearing masks to protect ourselves. John gets candid about his own journey — from performance and burnout to inner work, radical honesty, and building the courage to be seen.

📚 The Birth of Big Asian Energy
We chat about the highs and lows of writing a book that has no comparison. From the immense pressure to represent so many diverse voices, to hiring research assistants to go deeper than just storytelling, John’s creative process offers a behind-the-scenes look into writing an authentic, paradigm-shifting book.

Links from this episode: 

🌍 Website: https://www.bigasianenergy.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnwangofficial/

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@johnwangbae

📖 Big Asian Energy Book: https://a.co/d/c0T1c8t

John Wang is the author of the recently released Big Asian Energy, the host of the Big Asian Energy show, and a coach and speaker helping Asian professionals break through barriers. He&rsquo;s worked with clients at Google, Apple, Amazon, and Goldman Sachs, blending cultural insight and science-backed strategies to build confidence and visibility. John&rsquo;s content on assertiveness and imposter syndrome has reached over 25 million views.
Here are the major topics we dig into in this episode:&nbsp;
🔥 Authentic Leadership &amp; Dropping the Mask We get real about what true leadership looks like &mdash; and, just as importantly, what it doesn&rsquo;t. John shares the pitfalls of performative leadership, how people can sense inauthenticity, and the power of leading from mission rather than ego.
❤️ Humility vs. Toxic Humility We dive deep into the concept of humility, especially within the context of cultural conditioning. John distinguishes between embracing genuine humility and falling into a pattern of self-erasure &mdash; something he experienced firsthand growing up as a person of Asian descent in the Western world.
🌏 The Inner East Meets the Inner West For all the listeners who&rsquo;ve ever felt like they straddle two worlds &mdash; this conversation is for you. John opens up about reconciling his &ldquo;internal East and West,&rdquo; the struggle of trying to fit into multiple cultures, and the beauty (and challenge) of true integration.
🧠 Healing the Wound Behind the Mask We explore how so many of us walk through life with invisible wounds, wearing masks to protect ourselves. John gets candid about his own journey &mdash; from performance and burnout to inner work, radical honesty, and building the courage to be seen.
📚 The Birth of Big Asian Energy We chat about the highs and lows of writing a book that has no comparison. From the immense pressure to represent so many diverse voices, to hiring research assistants to go deeper than just storytelling, John&rsquo;s creative process offers a behind-the-scenes look into writing an authentic, paradigm-shifting book.
Links from this episode: 
🌍 Website: <a href="https://www.bigasianenergy.com/">https://www.bigasianenergy.com</a>
📸 Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/johnwangofficial/">https://www.instagram.com/johnwangofficial/</a>
🎵 TikTok: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@johnwangbae">https://www.tiktok.com/@johnwangbae</a>
📖 Big Asian Energy Book: <a href="https://a.co/d/c0T1c8t">https://a.co/d/c0T1c8t</a>

#64 - Working Through Conflict In High-Stakes Relationships - w/ Jayson Gaddis

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