It’s Edwin and Eddie’s first Q&A and they aren’t holding back!!
Find out the BTS story of one of the most iconic scenes in Housewives history. Hint: it involves a bath tub!The Eds share their regrets, boundaries, marriage tips and more!
This is the EDS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyavi, the husband's know best toucheese production.
Welcome to the Ed's podcast.
My name is Eddie Judge with my co host ed How did we get roped into this?
Bro? I'm still trying to figure this out too, but hey, here we are again. I'm excited to be here. Awesome.
Well for the new listeners that didn't get a chance to listen to our first podcast, our goal with this podcast is to provide you with some insight on the male perspective of being married to these amazing, lovely, crazy housewives of ours, but not just that. Also to talk about relationship, marriage, fatherhood and stepfatherhood, men's health, business, and much much more whatever whatever comes up today. However, we have a lot of questions from our last podcast.
Can you believe that? Edwin? Yeah, we have a lot of questions today, So I'm excited to go over. I think we're gonna need like six hours for this one. I know, by the way, the Tamra I ever listened to the podcast, I don't think so.
She has been going one thousand miles an hour between filming and the sixth podcasts that she and Teddy have been doing. So I've asked her like six times and I've finally given up.
But did Teddy listen to it? She did? She said it was pretty good, so you know, of course, the first thing I said right after that was hey, how many? How many downloads? You know? And then she's like, dude, you're not going to compete, right, which is funny hearing them talk about that as well. But I'm just competitive in that way. I don't know, are you competitive? I just like to compete. I like to make things fun I do, and I like to make them in a fun way.
But the funny thing is that I didn't get into the competition mode until I saw your post, and that led me to think about that. Their very first podcast, and I think the very first podcast they did, they got like fifty thousand downloads, right, so we beat them. I think we beat them.
Yeah, oh wow, that's I think that's a big deal. That's a big deal.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I'm coming granted, we are piggybacking out.
Them now, so yeah, yeah, they did all the hard work things, so you know it, we're taking it easy.
Yeah.
Anyways, So, like I said, I think we're going to need like six hours to go through all these questions because you and I have so much to talk about. But let's you know, I'm going to do my best to condense it and give shorter answers, but I want to try to answer every single question that we got.
I think we can just do it. Yeah, I think we could do that.
Okay, So first question is what is your family like with two strong women as wives?
You want to lead the charge? Yeah, take a shot at that one. You know, it's funny because Teddy and I are both very strong minded, and what we've had to learn to do is just be open with what bothers us about each other, right, and have that communication right because before we'd kind of you know, she'd want me home at a certain time, and if I wasn't home at a certain time, she'd flip and you know, give me hard time about it. And finally we just had to communicate on that and I just had to tell her, Look, sometimes I won't be able to make it home by six. I'm working and it requires this amount of hours sometimes, but hey, on weekends, I'm all yours. And if I have to sacrifice now playing basketball with the guys on weekends. That's what I've had to do. But you know, we we came to that communication, which I think was was key.
That's one thing I've learned all my life that communication is key for any aspect of your life friendships, business, you know, relationships. And that's actually, in my opinion, one of the hardest things to do in a relationship, you know, is meet your mind and tell the truth because you love that person and you don't want to hurt their feelings. And for us, our relationship, it's pretty balanced at home, you know, between the both of us, we we tend to pick up where the other one left off and help each other kind of like a teamwork. When it comes to communication though, about hard things, we tend to avoid it until we have to talk about it. And we've only had a few times where we've you know, had arguments about certain subjects, and the biggest takeaway from that was that we we grew stronger together, We bonded because we realize that as scary as it is to talk about these things, when we get past it, it makes us more bonded, It makes us more you know, cohesive as a couple, and we can trust that we're not going to attack each other, you know, over stupid little things. And that's one of the things I love about my wife. She just doesn't she doesn't sweat to small stuff. But when it comes to the big stuff, you know, sh'll fight and she'll make her point.
And I appreciate that because you.
Know, sometimes, as you know, as an entrepreneur, being at the top, we don't typically have accountability. Nobody's telling us what to do and when to do it and how to do it. So when my wife comes at me, I'm like, who the hell do you think you are? And I have to sit back and go, oh, you're my wife, and you're important to me, and I need to listen to you, right, I.
Mean there's something to be said about you know, strong minded women that are strong that can sort of hold us accountable.
Right.
I think in life we as much as we probably don't want to admit this, we want challenges in life, and when we don't get challenged, we sort of get bored. And you know, you can tend to walk all over people. And you know, I think that's why strong women. Usually you need a strong woman at least to get me and held me accountable. I needed somebody like Teddy that could just stand strong and you know, maybe not fight me back, but like be able to speak her mind if something if I'm doing something that she doesn't like, you know, because otherwise you'll just walk right over them. Right, Yeah, And there's a way to do it where it's not in an aggressive way. That then can you know, start World War three?
Right?
That's what I was just going to say. Yeah, I do think you need a strong woman, And at least for me, that's what I've always liked is someone that can challenge me, because when I have been challenged, I could easily walk over them if I wanted to.
And again, it goes for everything in life. One thing about my wife is that she is not a ballbuster. She won't belittle me or put me down because we have a mutual respect. But you know, she'll challenge me, like you said, she'll she'll delicately or or strategically talk to me about certain things. Because at this point in our relationship, I'm sure you can identify with this. She knows how to push the right combination of buttons to really piss me off, right, and I know the combination to her buttons. So we respect each other enough that we don't want to push those buttons again because it's not going to solve anything. But we're just going to come together as a team and talk through it.
So speaking of that, what's your advice on a successful marriage?
Well, I always say that it's not the good times that makes a bond stronger, but the adverse experiences that put us together closer. For example, we know we can rely on each other when times get difficult, and in our marriage, we know how to have fun, we know how to travel, we know how to I really love each other, but when life throws a monkey wrench in your way and you don't know how to resolve the issue, and thank God that we haven't really experienced anything like that, like a death or a sickness or you know, a knock on wood, a car accident or something. You know, I'm very confident that we can get through it.
But we haven't been tested that way. You know.
It's we've only had little things of growing pains that we've experienced together that has put us through you know, the ringer, and we came out of it, We learned from it, we grew out of it, and we understand each other better. So I think, you know, going through the hard times and getting through them is what makes the marriage successful.
Yeah. I love that answer, because again, anyone can do things when things are going great, like, of course you're going to have a great marriage when things are great. But really it's you know, your character will be revealed when pressure is applied, right, And that's when you know if you have a good marriage. Right is when difficult times happen. What is your character?
Right?
What person do you become? And I think it's a great, great point. I think my advice on a successful marriage is, you know, it all starts with you working on yourself first.
Right.
You can't make the other person happy if you're not happy, and so you've got to figure out what makes you happy, you know. For me, you know, I like working out in the morning. That makes me happy. I like getting a little work done in the morning that makes me happy. I like to work on my mindset that makes me happy. And the happier I am, then the happy you know, I can transfer that love to her. Right. Energy is a big deal for me too. Right, it doesn't matter how much you love someone if you don't have any energy because you're not working on the things that you need to work on so you have energy. Right, For me, it's the gym, but again it's the body mind. So I would say that's step one because again, if you're not happy with yourself, you're just going to transfer that to your partner. You can't transfer something that you're not experiencing. So if you're not experiencing love and in a good place with yourself, you can't transfer that to other people. So that's probably my biggest thing. And then you know, also letting your partner know that you As simple as the sounds, it's just showing them that you care about them, showing them that you believe in them, and giving them that support. Right, And it's not just by words, it's by actions. And I think it's a constant. You know, you got to constantly work on your marriage. You know, you're either growing or you're dying, So you got to make incremental improvements little by little, you know, at least I try to do. It's just how do we make it a little better? You know? Have you read that book ifive Love Languages or something like that. I haven't. Teddy Teddy's all over that one. I haven't. I haven't read it, but you know, some of the cool things that we do, for instance, like we pray together in the morning, We'll meditate together in the morning, will sometimes work out together in the morning. We'll do things together that kind of you know, because we get so busy that we try to you know, all the cool things that that that make me happy show be a part of, and I'll try to be a part of things that make her happy. So you kind of go into each other's world once in a while. And I think it's the same thing with kids. Right.
Yeah, along those same lines, Edwin, I have a question for you that that came up here. When when did you feel comfortable with John Mellencamp being your father in law?
Definitely took some time. You know, John is a serious man, especially at first when he doesn't really get to know you, you know. But I think when when you're at his level, you know, you're probably wondering, what does this person want from me? Right? So I tried to just let that relationship happen naturally where I wasn't forcing it, and I didn't want to think that I was desperate for a relationship with him or that I wanted something from him. I just I was patient, and I was just slowly but surely kind of you know, building that relationship without looking desperate. And I think at the end of the day, if you come across desperate to someone, whether it's relationship, doesn't matter what relationship it is. Nobody wants somebody that looks desperate. And I think because of that, I just kind of let it gradually happened. And you know, I knew we were getting along when, you know, he'd always make fun of the way I dressed, and I knew that we were getting closer when he then started asking me for it on you know, how do you do the scarf again? Would you get that jacket? You know? So I'm like, okay, he is. He is into my style. He was just giving me a hard time. He does like you, so he does like me. So you know, now we've I think he's gotten I've gotten that respect from him now. But definitely he made me earn it. It definitely wasn't overnight.
And I bet that feels good to have your wife's father, you know, accept you for who you are and and the fact that you're taking care of his daughter. My father in law is not a superstar, but you know, I still have a lot of respect for the man because he had a tough life, you know, based on my conversations with Tamera, and from day one, I just enjoyed his company. He's just so cool and easy to get along with. But I could always see his mind working when he when we first met, Like who is this guy? What is he about? What does he want with my daughter? You know, it's it's kind of a natural thing as a father, right.
Yeah.
So I don't know if I've won him over, but you know, I have spent some quality time with him. We were at a baby shower in Vegas and there happened to be a antique gun show going on, and A I don't have any interest in anything antique, and B I never really had any interest in guns. But I wanted to get to know the guy. So I kind of reluctantly went on this trip because it was the uncle, the father, the brother in law. And I'm like, you know, if this is the time that they're going to kill me, this is gonna be it. You guys is gonna have and Vegas they'll never find me, and I better, you know, be my best person here. This guy is really a super guy, and I feel good that he likes me.
I think he likes me. Awesome.
What do you and Tamra fight about? You know, there's not a lot. That's a question that I read and I'm like, I can't think of much that we fight about. But there's a couple of things that we do disagree on the most. There's two of them, I'll tell you about. One of them is very common in almost every relationship, I believe, and that's figuring out what you're going to eat, because she will have a desire for Mexican, I'll have a desire for Japanese, and vice versa.
Right.
I learned a rule a long time ago that when it comes to that, and I practiced it over and over and all my relationships with even my friends, my guy friends, when it's time to go eat, if nobody can make a decision, just throw it out there and say, Okay, do you guys want steak, fish or chicken? And then from there you can make an easier assessment as to where you're going to go eat.
Right.
So a lot of times that worked, and it got old for my wife and she did she stopped answering it, and then it became Okay, well do you want do you want? I want to go get Mexican and she says, well, no, not really, and then I say, okay, why don't you tell me what you want? And that's the kiss of death right there, because she can. She'll come back and go, you know what, I don't know whatever you want. So after giving her seven hundred different ideas and her say no, no, no, no, no no no, it gets frustrating, right and we're end up just picking some shit place to go because we can't figure out where to go. So that's probably one of our biggest challenges. The other is me personally. I cannot stand going to bed watching TV, and for her, that is her night. Will like that's what she's done when she's been a kid. She turns the TV on and I can't tell you how many nights of sleepless nights I've had because I end up with my eyes wide open watching a stupid show that she wanted to watch, and I'm riveted to the stupid TV and she's dead asleep and I'm just pissed off because I have.
To watch the show. That's probably the hardest thing we deal with. I get you on that because Teddy always has to have the TV on, and for many years she would watch Law and Order and it was just like, you know, the background music just kind of puts you in a bad viude, like all these murder shows. And for many years, I'm like, I think, one day you're gonna end up killing me with all these murder shows that you watch. But it's always like the background music that's just kind of like, So I just put my headphones on and I listen to a podcast and then I go to bed. But literally, I have to put my headphones on all the time. I think the biggest thing that I have had with Teddy on is probably or that we argue with each other, it's probably our phones, just because at times when she wants to be present, I'm not present because at that time I'm doing something with work, right, and you know, I got to tell her like, it's not like I'm on social media. I'm on I'm working. And then sometimes when I'm present and I want her want to have some discussions with her, she's on her phone and she's like, I'm working. So that's probably the biggest thing, is us being on our phones and me being late. It's probably the other thing that she hates, and I sometimes hate how organized. I mean, it's a love hate with her being that organized because it helps me that she's that organized. But sometimes I'm just like, dude, we don't have to be like the first ones at every party. Like we can show up like thirty minutes later. Let some people get there. We don't have to be the first ones there. Yeah, you know, so that's probably the biggest one. Hilarious. Yeah, she always wants to be the first one there, and she wants to be on time, and yeah, I get that. And at the end of the day. He here's a funny one. We're literally flying to I forgot. We're flying to Cancun or something, right, and she makes us sleep early because she thinks the terminals somewhere and it was another gate. And then we're in the front and were the first ones there, so she made us leave the what do you call it, like the VIP area, the VIP stuff where you stay at the airport or whatever. Oh yeah, and then we get there and there's nowhere to sit now, So I'm like, you just made me leave early, and now there's nowhere to sit. So now we're literally the first ones in line, like we're not even flying southwest, but we might as well have been flying southwest because we're the first ones in line, because there's nowhere to sit. And then to top it off, we go in and she doesn't have the passport. Whether I'm like teddy, you've here this entire time or standing here for the last fifteen minutes and now you can't find your passport, like what was the point again here early? Like, and then she's liked, well, shooting, you have your own passport, So.
You know, I don't remember how old I was when I learned that traveling with your partner will determine if you're going to have a a long lasting relationship, because I have traveled with some women that I've dated before and I wanted to kill them. And one of the things that I experienced with my wife is that she's super easy going, and I think a lot of it has to do with she relies on me to make the decisions and to take care of, you know, the travel plans, and if anything goes wrong, she wants me to step up.
So I'm usually good about that.
I I you know, as a as a ares if you will, I like to take charge when nobody else is jumping in front and making a decision.
We're we have a lot in common, bro.
Yeah, but don't you find yourself very frustrated sometimes when you're in a group and nobody wants to make a decision.
So it sounds like your relationship on Tamera and you're Teddy, because Teddy does everything when it comes to traveling, I just show up, like you will be the day of, I'm like, what hotel are we staying at? Again? Like I have no clue, and I just get a time and I show up and I don't start asking questions to the day of. It's how I roll. But so that's why, in many ways, Teddy works for me, and I guess in many ways that's why Tamura works for you.
We drew a little bit of opposites. That makes a good marriage. Yeah, So let's go to the next question. How did you become the husbands you both are now? And did you have any role models?
I didn't. I mean my dad was a role model to me at first, right. I saw the way that he took care of his mom. I saw the way that he took care of us, his other family, Like he just always took care hit his friends. He was always about taking care of people first, and that was a big deal for me. I mean, one of the biggest lessons he told me about before he went to jail was, son, you need to take care of your mom, Like, no matter what nobody gets in front of like, you always respect your mom. You have one mom, and you're gonna take care of her first. And in fact, sometimes those are some of the arguments that I have with Teddy, right, It's it's like, hey, don't get in the middle of my mom, Like, don't even go there. Yeah, right, and she's respected that. Actually, well, I don't think we have time board, but though I got to definitely one day give the story of when the only fight that they've ever had, and I was basically translating because my mom doesn't speak English, and I was making it a lot less aggressive than what it really was with the way I was translating. But I think they could tell the body language that I was just kind of like, you know, making it not as aggressive. But anyway, so that's my dad was a huge mentor to me growing up, and you know, other mentors, believe it or not, is you know, movies were very influential to me because when I would stay home by myself, I just watched movies all day, and I forgot how we had a connection to a Beta store and a VHS you know, like not a Blockbuster, but back then they had like a bunch of video stores all over the place, right, So as a kid, this is a funny story. As a kid, I used to watch these Radar movies all day long because no one was basically seen. I didn't even know who Radar was, right. So one of my favorite movies growing up as a kid was called Tough Turf and Kyle Richard's sister was the main star of that, and she actually was my first crush in many ways because it was the first time I saw like a blonde and I was like, this girl's hop and god knows how many times I watched that movie. So it was kind of come full circle moment. You know, I'm filming and I'm filming with O. Why am I blanking on Kyle's sister's name. I remember any there but Jim Jim Yes, And I'm like, oh shit, here's Kim Richards. I used to watch you every day when I was eight years old. Tough honey. But anyway, some movies were very influential to me, and I mean that's what made me want to go to Beverly Hills. I watched these movies and I was like, Man, this isn't the way they look hunting them park, This isn't the way it looks like in the movies. I need to go to the places where you know, these movies are being filmed and stuff that's hilarious.
I find this question to be a really good question. Personally, I didn't have a father growing up as a young kid. My role models were my grandmother and my aunt and some uncles. I think I had many role models throughout my life that helped me understand how a woman needs to be treated. You know. I don't know if it's just my culture, but certain things that I picked up along the way, like when you're walking down the sidewalk your woman walks on the inside of the curve or away from the street, obviously holding opening the door for her, whether it's the car or going into the house or the restaurant, and just treating her with respect and love and admiration. Especially the relationships where you know that I observe where both partners really adore each other.
That was very attractive to me.
And I admired Dad, And I always imagine myself being the man that just puts his girl on a pedestal and loves her and treats her to as many things that can bring happiness to her. So I don't know that I had one specific role model, But like you, I learned a lot from movies and sitcoms and TV shows. There's so much to learn from those those TV shows in our era, right And I say that because nowadays, I don't see any shows like that. I don't see anything where the man really respects her, adores his wife everything, shoot him up, kill him. You know, it's different nowadays. I don't find movie like that, you know. So a question, does it ever bother you that your wife is on a reality TV show and she's a reality TV star and that your relationship is pretty much out there in public?
No, not at all. I think, you know. I think the relationship that you know, we I guess because I know so like, she's got very close friends, and I know how much her friends love her. I know how much her family loves her. Pretty much, everyone I bring around Teddy ends up falling in love with her. So because of that, I don't really care what people that don't know her say. I guess that helps me with that. As far as her being on TV, and you know, I always say that it's it's sort of perfect because you you sort of get all the books of being on TV, but you don't have to deal with all the crap that like an A lister has got to deal with, right, Like Teddy can go out and she'll get recognized, but it'll be like by one to maybe three people, and you could still go on with your day. It's not like you got freaking thirty fifty people coming at you screaming at you, where it's like you don't have a life. You can't even leave your house, Like that would be tough, right, Yeah, So I think I don't have what is for Tamra, But like for us, it's kind of like the best. You have the perks of being able to get to wherever you want to get into, but you don't have to deal with the drama of being an A lister or you know, somebody that's just super beyond famous. You know.
Yeah, for me, in the beginning, it bothered me a little bit because I grew up as a very private person. My family is very private. We didn't really talk a lot about ourselves and where we came from. So you could only imagine, you know, if this was I don't know, thirty years ago and we're doing this podcast and you're asking me about myself, I'd be like, oh, I had a great life.
You know, I wouldn't be.
Telling you that I crossed the border and I lived in a garage and you know, shit that happened to me. But in the beginning it was hard because I am a private guy. At some point though, in my relationship with Tamra, I had to come to terms and I have to be a public bigger or a public person by association.
It's not that I earned it. You know.
I'm not the star of or even a real cast member of this TV reality show. I always say, you know, when I run into people and public and they're like, oh my god, I love you, I love you, I'm like, you know, I'm really not a star.
I'm just an extra. I'm just an extra on the show.
You know. In fact, sometimes I'm just a seat filler. My wife's the star of this family, you know. Yeah, she's she's the best part of this this TV reality, and she takes it so well. I Mean there's been many times where, and this is just one example, where I would be going to the bathroom and she'd be talking about, oh, let's film this. I'm like, no, no, you know some things are freaking sacred. You are not going to film me going to the bathroom.
Yeah, well, I mean it's it's I think what makes Tamer and Teddy's so special and a lot of obviously the housewives in general, is that, I mean it's effortless for them. They're so good at what they do. Like like I have to prepare for stuff. Teddy can just wing it. She can just show up and start to Yeah. I mean that's what makes them great. Like I've always given the girls on the show so much credit because they have to be so witty, Like if you're not quick on that show, you're gonna get crushed. Yeah. And me, I'm like on a thirty second delay. That's why I just rather stay breaking quiet, Yeah, because I'm just not saying that's going to come out of my mouth. Yeah, I won't be fast enough to even you know, by the time I say my next phrase, I'm gonna get punched like five times or five times by the way, So I'm just like, oh, let me just stay quiet, let me eat my salad, Bundy.
So how do you keep outside opinions from affecting your relationship? This is the next question, you know, the opinions that you see on social media, comments, blogs, and gossip articles, because I'm sure your wife gets it. My wife gets it a lot, and there's just people out there that I think it's twofold, right. One part of it is because our wives are so popular and they're being so successful in this world of pop culture and reality TV, they're going to be talked about, whether it's positive or negative. And the other part is a lot of people they just want to associate themselves with people that are on top of the world, right, so they can do that negatively or positively, and by way of posting a compliment on social media and getting a thank you or a heart, you know, thank you so much for the message, or posting something so negative that it hurts their feelings, and it's like, why are you even following them? Why are you even on this platform? If you don't like my wife, if you don't like the women. I don't get it. You know, what do you think?
No, same thing? I mean sometimes I at first I don't do it anymore, but I mean once in a while it comes at my face. I'll see it is I. I used to see the comments, and I would talk about having discipline, like I had to have so much discipline not to get involved because I knew it would just add more fuel to the fire. Is just going to make them, you know, have more power. Right, So you know, the only way the way you can take hour away from somebody is just show them that it doesn't bother you, right, yea. So, but there's many times I wanted to comment, but I was like, nope, I can't comment, because then then they're going to get what they want, right. But yeah, it's it's definitely hurtful sometimes to see those comments. But like I said earlier, as long as you know that the truth and you know their character and you know who they are, then it's I would say, it's less painful. But sometimes it does piss you off because you know they're not like that, and you're just like, man, are you that sad about your life that you just got to go on here and make a comment, But now I realize it's just part of business, right, part of the business.
Has it ever affected your relationship with Teddy comments?
No, not at all, I think, if anything. You know, obviously there's times where at the beginning the comments were her full tour, so it didn't affect our marriage. I mean, I guess you could say affect her and I could see her sad about it, but I would you know, that's when you got to be there for support and stuff like that. I mean that. I mean again, I give these girls a lot of credit because part of doing that job is they got to deal with a lot of hate. You know, It's just it's what they signed up for. But it is part of the game. I guess I don't buy you.
No, I don't think it had affected us necessarily, but I do remember one of the artist things, or one of the labor and test some things I should say in the beginning was trying to guide her away from the negative comments, because she would do something and post something on social media, and half of the posts where oh, you're amazing and I love it, You're my favorite, good job, and the other half were just nasty. And I would notice because I was reading it, I would notice that she would respond to all the negatives and not say anything to the positives. And I said, bab, you got to you got to balance it out, or for that matter, stop responding to the negatives, because you're just giving them life. You've given them exactly what they want. And it took a couple of years for her to figure it out, but she got to a point where, I mean, now, it only took almost nine years. But now we have a person that helps us with the social media, and it's a very mature person that understands the ins and outs of social media. So when something negative is posted, ultimately it doesn't affect him. I mean, it kind of does, because he likes us. He really cares about our best interests. But he knows that responding to that garbage is a waste of time.
It's just it's not what I love. The point you just made it just reminded me. You know, our first question, what's what's advice on a successful marriage? And I think so much of that is, you know, sometimes you tend to focus on what's the one thing that's bothering you and not focus on the nine great things. Right, So she could be a nine out of ten, and you focus on the one thing that's bothering you instead of focusing on the nine things that she's great at. Right, So, again to your point, that's took us on the positive and not pay too much attention to the negative, especially when the positive is outweighing the negative by a landslide, you know.
Yeah, I have one more thing to say about this social media thing, and it's it's full disclosure, because there's been probably a handful of instances where I see a negative post on my social media and it gets to me. It just happens to be a bad day and I'm hungry and I'm tired, and I'm just like not in the mood, and I will respond, and I try to be as articulate as possible. I don't sink down to their level. So I think I've responded to maybe two or three in my entire experience with social media, and the best experience, in my opinion, has been responding to one of these negative posts. And I have like a ten paragraph, like one hundred word response and then I just deleted it because I know it's not going to go anywhere, but I feel good about it.
Yeah, all right, So Eddie talked to us about, you know, when you guys got engaged and married in front of the cameras, whose idea was that? And did you ever think to keep that private? Because obviously you just said you like to be private, but you know, there you go, having the marriage and in front of everybody.
Well, whose idea was that? This is a great question. This is actually where we ended our show, our first podcast. And this is definitely a long, lone story, but I'm going to try to do my best to condense it because there's so much that happened. After about two years into our relationship, we started talking marriage. I never thought about marriage, mostly because, like you explained it in our first podcast, like I don't want to get married, maybe she can just have my kid exactly. I was afraid to get married. However, I really loved her at the time. I still love her obviously today, but I just couldn't imagine my life without her. So in consideration to the fact that she's been married, has four kids, and we both you know, don't really see a value and spending a ton of money on a wedding, we decided to do a small wedding, just a nice little beach wedding, you know, barefoot, closest family and friends invited and nothing, not a big deal, right. So that's that's the kind of wedding we agreed to, and we were about to start organizing it and doing it, and then we started filming that season. It just happened to start filming, and then of course she brought it up to the production We're going to do this, you know, because every year they asked what's going on in your life? And of course they love the idea, And unbeknownst to me, I was approached by the head of production. I mean, I'm talking to heads like the people that never come out of their office. Yeah, so I knew it was serious. And they approached me about doing a wedding special. And I initially said no. I just said no, I have to have something private in my life, you know, because everything else I do with with our life is public. And and somehow, someway, we ended up agreeing to a wedding special. I think part of it was that I was actually going to get paid for this show this time.
Not a lot of money, but you know, anything is good.
Yeah, and we agreed, and you know, one of my favorite parts was my idea to present my bride with an engagement ring in a shell that we discovered together while diving. And that was the idea. You know, I didn't know where it was going to happen, but that's I wanted to come up with some interesting way of asking her to marry me. I didn't want to just get down on one knee and say, oh, that was just so overplayed. That was my vision, but I didn't know exactly where it was going to happen. And it wasn't until I asked, you know, I was asked, you know, okay, you got to you know, let's do this. What do you want to do? And it was then that I figured out how I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it in Bora Bora, and I wanted to go to Bora Boras and die for shells and come up and you know, exactly like it happened in our wedding special. And I opened up the show and there's a beautiful ring inside, and production, you know, figured it out. They figured out how to make it happen. And the funny thing is that I really only knew if Bora Bora from the movie I think it was Jim Carrey's No. No, it was the movie couple's retreat, remember that, just say that. I thought that is a beautiful place. That's where I want to go ask her to marry me. And production made it happen. It was the most incredible experience the four seasons on the water. We stayed in a hut. I jumped in the water naked every day. I think we spent three days filming, had a nice romantic dinner with the fire hard to shape fire surrounding us and fire dancers, and on the beach just her and I.
I mean, it doesn't get more.
Romantic than that, right, I don't know how I could have put something together like that myself. And the funny thing is that she actually thought that was the time I was going to ask her to marry me, but nope, it didn't happen.
But you know, I think it's pretty cool though, that you're always going to have that on video, right, Like, yes, that moment is captured and you guys be seventy eight years old and you could look at that again. And I think that's that's one of the brooks of coming out on the show, Like for me with my kids, like I'm able to I'm going to be able to go back and see them at three years old and two years old and running around, and that was kind of cool. I mean, I wish they would have showed more of all the filming that we did with the kids, because we filmed a ton with the kids, but you know, ninety eight nine percent of it they don't show. I wish they would have showed more. But it was still nice to be able to go back I mean the way I look at it now, twenty thirty years from now, be able to go back and just kind of relive those moments, whether not just in your memory, like in your mind, you could actually watch them. And what a cool experience that now you can go back to and watch as many times as you want, you know.
Speaking of that, our kids, they filmed a lot before I was on the show because their dad was on the show, and when they divorced, the dad wouldn't sign off, so the kids never got a chance to film and continue that journey. And I am looking forward to the day where because the kids see it as a very negative experience because of what their dad did to them psychologically, they just don't want anything to do with it. But I know there's going to be a day when they grow up and they look back and they're going to see themselves on TV and they're going to go, oh my god, that's me. That's how little I was, and oh my god, that's what I look like. I wish I had that kind of experience.
Right by the way, are you comfortable or uncomfortable in the cameras?
You know it's been over ten years now. I'm very comfortable at this point, but like we talked in our first episode, I was nerve wracking when there's a big lens looking at you. It's just not very comfortable at all. So now you know, you can put a camera in front of us. We can be eating dinner, we can be walking, we can be driving. I have a pretty comfortable disposition about, you know, being on camera.
Now cool. What about you? I still can't get used to it. I mean it's I've gotten better at it, but I'm very camera shy. You know. A lot of that is again I'm shy, timid. You know, when I was a little kid, fifteen years old, I would always get you know, nervous. I think I said that on the first podcast but I would start sweating that I talk about that. Yeah, And you know, now I believe it or not. It happens to me less, but it still happens to me. Like if I get nervous, I didn't start sweating bad, Like I just start getting hot and I feel red and then just start getting sweaty. It actually happened to me during a red carpet event. Oh I forgot what I mean. This was I think year two, and you know, usually they don't ask me any questions. I'm just kind of there holding Teddy's hand and they're asking her questions, and someone just asked me a question out of left field, and I started stumbling my words, and I started to get really nervous, and I just felt myself getting hot and I was and then you know, when you're on the red carpet, there's like lights everywhere, and those lights get hot, especially if you started getting nervous, Day're really really hot. And man, I knew the sweat was coming. So I made this excuse of having to go to the restroom. And as I'm speaking and I'm like, hey, I just I gotta go use the restaurant. I'm so sorry, and I ran out of that damn red carpet. I went around the corner and I just sat down there for five minutes, just sweating my ass off, And thank God that I left when I did, because if I wanted a left right at that moment, I would have been in the red carpet, just drenched and sweat. So cameras sometimes do scare me. So anyway, that's that's my story along those lines.
Part of the question is you know how comfortable or uncomfortable are you in front of the camera, But are there boundaries now that you said when it comes to filming, is there something you're not willing to.
Do on cameras? So for me, like I I didn't want to get into a fight on the show, right, So I mean that was like, for instance, one time where I knew there was a fight gonna happen with one of the husbands, was going to get into it with my wife. I could just tell already it was going to happen, and I saw my kids playing on the other side, and I made the excuse of like going to go play with the kids, right, because it just probably wouldn't have been a good moment if I would have gotten involved and it's just like, hey, I don't That's one thing I'm not willing to do is get on a bite on TV or just say some stuff that I'm going to feel bad about and definitely never get into it with the women. There's obviously there's the one episode where I was acting like I was eating the salad when I think I forget the lady's name, but she made Teddy cry and Sudden and Teddy starts just crying and I'm eating my salad, and I'm like, what am I supposed to do? If if I get involved, I'm probably going to say something bad to Sudden and I'm going to look like a like a dick.
Right.
If I don't get involved, I'm gonna look like the Woos, because why aren't you helping your wife? Like all these thoughts are coming in my head, like what do I do? Like just quick?
Right?
Yeah? And then of course they settled on. I'm gonna act like I'm not hearing what's going on, and I'm just gonna continue myself of a fly on the wall exactly, even though like it's pretty obvious that my wife is crying. I'm trying to like act like I don't want to hear that she's crying. So but yeah, that's there's no way I'm gonna fight with one of these ladies. First of all, they would crush me with how witty they are. Uh yeah, it's not even like it's no contest like all of those girl especially the ones. I haven't seen much of the other shows, but man, the girls from BH, wow are they witty? Just quick.
I had a similar experience. I think it was the second or third year. We were sitting I believe, in Vicki's backyard having a big dinner. The entire cast was there, and you know, the funny thing is that in the beginning, the first like hour, nobody fights because nobody wants to, you know, say anything. And then all of a sudden it was Terry debrou and Heather and David Badoor and Shannon. They were going at each other. And then that lasted a little while, and then that ended, and then it calmed down. Then the fights start going. Now you have like four different fights going on at the same time, and I'm just sitting there just trying to take it in and avoid it and not get eye contact and not participate and not be a part of it and I think Retchen was on the show and Slade were on the show at the time, and Gretchen started going at my wife. My wife was defending herself and she was going back at Gretchen, and all of a sudden, Gretchen's boyfriend, Slade, stands up and he starts, you know, pointing his finger at my wife and kind of a verbally attacking my wife. And that's when I sat back and I'm like, Okay, I have two options here.
I could reach over and beat the living.
Shit out of this guy for talking to my wife the way he's talking, but I will look like an asshole, you know. Or I can just sit back and let my wife defend herself and because she she's pretty damn good at it, and look like a little woozy because I didn't come to the rescue, you know, I didn't stand up for my wife. So I had to make the hard decision to say, you know what, I don't I don't want to be a part of this. I am not a housewife. I'm not going to get into this show, so I'm just gonna back off. And of course we got home that night and I told my wife about it, and she's like, thank god you didn't get involved, because this is that wouldn't have been good for you. Wait till you see how Slade looks on TV. It turned out to be that it was the best decision I could make because I am not a housewife and I'm not going to get into it with the housewife. In fact, every single person, every single guy, I think there's been about three of them that ever were cast for the show, David being one of them, Bronwin's husband, I don't remember his name, but there were a couple of guys that reached out to me like, hey, you've been on this show for a while, what should I expect? I said, listen, just don't get into it with the women. Don't become a housewife when the fights start, just don't get involved walk away and oh Brooks was another one. You know yep, And I said, okay, well I.
Told you so. You know, especially with the power of edit, that if they really want to make you look bad, they can't. I learned that is real. Yes.
So that leads to the next question, which is a really good question. Have you ever regretted filming my stuplanswer on that is no, Like I had a good time. You know.
It's funny. I would treat those times as a date with the wife, and I always felt uncomfortable, Like I never actually felt comfortable, but I think that like uncomfortable things. So I I didn't mind it. I did. I guess the only thing I might I would mind sometimes is sometimes these things would last like three and a half hours, just back and forth bickering, and I was just like, uh, but for the most part, I didn't mind it.
And then they only used like ten seconds of that, right, exactly hours of labor and they take ten seconds of it.
Yeah, that's another reason. I just second year, I was like, there's no point of talking, Like, unless I have a killer SoundBite, I ain't coming out. Yeah, so let me just take my chances. But if you say something wrong, it'll come out all day, right, Yeah, but if you say something bad, like so, the more you talk, the more opportunity you're going to have to say something stupid that's just going to make you look dumb. So I just thought to myself, Okay, I would just speak if somebody asked me a question. Otherwise I don't really need to get in any I don't need to get into.
It I think one of the most important questions that people ask us have you ever regretted filming? And like you, I don't like to regret much, right, But there was this one time, and it was the very very very first day that I've ever filmed with camera, the very first day. It was supposed to be a nice romantic dinner at my house. I was trying to impress Tamera by cooking skills, smoke with my cooking skills. So I made filet me on, lobster tail Brocolani, and a very nice bottle of red wine. Well, the evening started with you know, fifty plus people. You know how many people show up at your house to set up the filming. And as soon as the crew brought in these large movie production sized cameras, my wife says, I turn white. I just spros. And I looked at her and I said, I can't do this. I can't do this.
It's like I'm not going to go through it. This, this is not going to be good. And she said, so she ran.
She runs to the bar, comes back with the bottle of her best liquid current j a very well known tool she used for many many years called Tequila Yes and Now, tequila and I were not very good friends because I just don't like to drink, but I had no other option. Six shots later and a glass of red wine, we finished dinner. They take her upstairs to prepare for some romantic setting. And I'm thinking, we're just gonna get in bed and we're gonna get romantic. I don't know what to expect. Yeah, they keep me downstairs to clean up the kitchen. While they're doing all that. Five minutes later, I go up, I pour a glass of wine, and I'm like, Okay, I'm ready for whatever they're gonna throw at me. I walk into my bathroom and there's my wife in the bathtub with bubble baths, and the very first words that come out of my mouth are you're naked. And I could only visualize, you know that movie with Jim Carrey in the mask where his jaw drops to the ground. I visualize that happened to me. And all I can think of is, there's fifty people in this bathroom and you're naked in my bathtub. How did you get in there without them seeing you?
Right? My head starts spinning. I freeze. The second question was the second question that you asked yourself. Am I supposed to get naked? Now?
Yes? That's when I froze. I'm like, I can't do this, this is not happening. There's not enough tequila. And sure enough, the producer takes me downstairs and he says, hey, listen, you don't have to do this, but if you get into the tub, you know it'll be good for the viewers. You'll you may want to go in there with your clothes on. And I thought, okay, maybe I could do that. So he gives me another shot of tequila. Of course, and all I'm thinking in my head is I better do like a hundred push ups, pump up my chest, pump up my arms.
I'll go in there. I'll pull my shirt off like a stripper. It would be the greatest shot ever.
And sure enough, I go up there, I do some push ups, I take my shirt off slow. I look good, and then my wife says, were you going to keep your pants on? And without skipping a beat edwin, I didn't even know this was happening. I pulled my pants down, holding them down all the way to my ankles. And I'm very flexible, right, so I just bent over and I'm looking behind me, and there's a big ass camera in the shower behind me directly pointed out my asshole, and a camera to the right pointing at my junk. And all I can think of is I got to run into the as fast as I can so they don't see my chunk. So I jumped in. Next thing, I know, Huh you weren't cold, were you? Oh?
It was very cold. I was very cold because after I.
Got in the tub, I'm like, you dumb ass, you're thinking about your chats, You're thinking about your arms.
Nobody cares about that. They want to see you're junk exactly. That think they'd be warm, not cold. And that's that was your first day of Filmary first, like where do you go from here? Exactly?
And that's also the day I found out that there's definitely no chance of me becoming a porn start because I am not good naked on cameras.
I'm not gonna happen. No Woody in the bathtub, I think I did.
But I was comfortable then because there was bubbles everywhere, nobody can see him. And the last thing I remember is, you know, again, cameras are pointing and pointing at you. You should do something right. So I start getting hot and heavy kissing her, you know, getting on top of her in the bathtub, and all of a sudden it got really uncomfortable in there, and everybody split. Everybody just bailed out. It's like, okay, thank you so much, have a good night, We'll see you borrow. And then this morning was that we kept going and the next morning we both woke up with the massive headache, going, what the hell did we do last night?
How are they going to edit that? How are they going to Oh.
My god, we're going to look like idiots. And of course, in the back of my head I get this stuff. Maybe I can reach out to the editors and they can add a few pixels for me so that I can look like big John long dung or whatever.
You know, give me some credit.
And how did they edit you? By the way, it actually watch that now. In my opinion and even Tamer's opinion, it was very classy. They didn't show anything. They showed a little bit of skin, and I think they even had a blooper on the website where they showed a little bit of her nipple, But on the actual show that was on National TV, they didn't show any nipple, so that maybe it was strategic, you know, for the purposes of getting people to watch you know, hey, nipples, let's watch this. But I think it was classy. But the biggest concern edwin of anything, was how are the kids going to look at this? You know, how they yeah, how are they gonna react? Because remember it was at the time when you know, she had just gotten divorced and her husband was doing everything and in his power to hurt camera through the kids. So you know, he's gonna put this, show, this clip in front of their face and go, this is your mom, This is your mom doing porn. You know, this is the things that we were visually, and this is why we regretted doing it, you know, because this is this might hurt the kids in some way.
But at the end, you know, we both talked to the kids about it. Did they ever see it?
No, No, that's one thing we never talked about. I don't even know that they even brought it up. Her kids are really they don't any time, even kissing, they go like, ew, gross, you guys are kissing. You know, they're very anti anti loving, anti public, you know, display of which is the opposite of our culture, right. I mean, I do everything in my power to let my wife know that I love her and I appreciated her. And when we're in public, I hold her hand, when we stop at the light, I hug her. You know, this is just who I am. And the kids are completely like their dad. They just show no emotions. So I think it affected them, but we really don't know. We've never ever talked about it with them.
Good story, man, that was a good, good fun story.
Do you enjoy filming ninety percent of the time, I do not enjoy it. But in the beginning, there was this one moment that I remember, I'll never forget. It was a trip I planned for tamer and I. Again, it was a trip that was planning in advance to Spain. I've always wanted to see Spain, and it was a trip for her and I just alone, and she told the production this is what's happening in our life. And they ended up sending a producer, a audio engineer, and a camera person with us to follow us on this trip, and we not only got to film this amazing vacation together, but we got to experience the irks, if you will, of being on TV, all these upgrades, all these free, expensive amazing dinners, expensive amazing experiences. It really took our vacation and bumped it up a few notches because we were filming it, so it was it was awesome. It really really was a great experience, no drama, obviously, nobody was fighting.
Her and I were in our.
Best place and joining each other's company, and that was probably my favorite time other than you know, filming our proposal. That was the highlight of my life is filming the proposal and bora, bora.
Isn't it? But you know it's so cool. I mean you talk about some of the perks, like when we were on the show, we got out to the inviterers to the Kentucky Derby, and I mean we had the red carpet rolled out, rolled out for us, so we hung out at all the cool parties. I mean I was hanging with Aaron Rodgers, you know, let's thee a couple of rockers. I'm blanket on their name right now, but just everywhere we went it was like right to the front, Like there's no way in how we would have gone in if it wasn't for for Teddy being on the show. At the time, and you know, you get to get that's some of the props. You get to hang out at some pretty cool places. Yeah, yeah, and I appreciate that tremendously. I last year, I think it was I had the opportunity for the very first time in my life ever to attend the Indy five hundred in Indianapolis, and it was all VIP. You know.
I was sponsored by Good Ranchers Is it's a great company that sales meet online and it's produced by local ranchers, not imported from you know, outside of the United States.
But the car they sponsored one.
So I got to literally stand at the winner circle, touching this this trophy, standing next to the car, standing next to the winner and taking a picture because it was it was It was awesome. I mean, I don't think you could buy that experience.
You got the most random fans that are like you got some pretty big people that are fans of the show, which I always find pretty interesting, like a listers that are fans of the show, which is yet cool.
It was probably again in the beginning, Tarmra was invited to a gifting suite there in Beverly Hills.
I think at the Beverly Hilton. Have you ever attended those? Yeah? Yeah, so it's pretty cool, right, yeah. And we're walking.
In and out of you know, rooms or given us free stuff, and I'm like, why are you giving us free stuff? We can afford to buy this. It doesn't make any sense give it away to people that can't afford it. But uh, when you're a celebrity, you're always going to get free shit because you can promote it, exactly right. I didn't know that at the time. So there's this one moment where we're walking into another room and as we're walking in walking out comes Christina Aguilera and she loses her shit over camera and she's like, oh my.
God, you're my favorite housewife.
I'm just standing back, I'm looking at this. I'm like, you know, you're a big deal, Christina, What.
Is happening right now? Exactly?
And that was the first time I've ever ever experienced that. And you know, I love Christina. She's an amazing singer and artist. And my wife was even in shock herself. They took a picture and it was a pretty cool experience, you know.
You know, I love that.
It's probably because she's so down to earth, but there's so many A listers and people on TV that think their shit doesn't stink. Even on our show, there's people that have this reputation where they go in public and they're like, no, I don't want to take a picture with you, No, I don't have time. I absolutely buys those people. I can't stand those people. So I never ever have said no to a picture or anybody that approaches us. Even my wife is really good about it. She just yeah, yeah, it's part of reality, you know. The people really believe they know you, you know, And I think I think that's where the value is in this reality TV shows, Like they believe everything they see on TV. Yeah. So, Edwin, question for you, if if Teddy was to be cast for the Beverly Hills Housewife show again, would you go back?
I would love to, And then I think she would crush it. This time around. I think she needs a lot more comfortable. I think people will get to see more of herself, you know. I think the first year it was a lot of herself. I think the second year she was probably a little more in her head about it. And then obviously the thirty years she was pregnant, so that changes a lot of things obviously, but I think this year she would know where she's that today she would absolutely crush it. So I would love to see her back in that. She would just be so good at it and people would get to see the real Teddy, you know, not the edit.
The edit.
I wasn't happy with the edit they gave her on the third year because there was so many cool things that we did and they just they had this edit of her being born just because that's what Sutton said, Yeah, and they there was scenes where she was not like she was nowhere near born, Like some of the stuff that she said was like would make you just die laughing, and they never showed that, and you know, that's the power of the edit. But I think now she goes back, she would she would crush that show. So I would I would love to see that, you know. I mean, I mean you're seeing it on the podcast right like she's she is who she is, Like, that's who I know is the person in the podcast.
I have a in an addition to that question, what if she was cast for the Orange County show?
What do you think about that? You know we have a house in OC as well. I know my daughter lives in OC My oldest daughter lives in OLC.
So that means actually he's in the pod, would be doing it together.
I actually don't mind c to tell you the truth, so you know, we'll see, just throwing that out there with you.
So yeah, kind of fun, right, Yeah, I've learned that I can hang out with certain house husbands.
We will. You know, David was one of.
Them, maybe the only one, and we had a lot in common. He was in YPO, as you know, he's a great organization that just brings entrepreneurs together.
He was a spartan and he's just just a cool guy.
I really really enjoyed him, and we traveled to Vegas together to go through spart and races. I really enjoy him. If you could do a husband's of housewife show, what other husbands would you pick to be on with you? And obviously you and I would be on it, but who else?
Maurice is a fun dude. Man. That guy is charismatic, He's he just you have a blast with that guy. So he definitely would be one.
Man.
You know, I'm so bad with the names of of but you know what I like. I love the Utah guys quite a bit. I think the guys are pretty cool. We've hung out with them a couple of times. I'm blanking on one of their names, Sean. I like Sean a lot, a lot too. I got to know him very well in San Francisco. Really cool guy, very down to earth, successful and doesn't let all that shake. Is really cool to hang out too. I mean those obviously hung out with those guys going the show. Yeah, both of those guys are fun.
You know, did you hang out outside to filming with PK and.
For you know, we were always supposed to. I was just so busy at the time, and you know, I'm sure he was busy, and I probably could have done a better effort of like going to some of the spots, you know, But at the time, I was just like so focused on work that I didn't really get a chance to hang out with him as much, but I totally could. He's He's a funny dude, both, I mean, both of them, very witty. Yeah, Charlie a choice.
I've been fortunate enough to know Joe Gorgo since the startling.
He's he sounds like a great guy too. The few times I've hung out with him.
Super cool, He's definitely not shy camera and and business. Bravol Khan that we attended, you were there, I really got to know the guys and all the guys, well not all the guys Jersey housewives, but all the Joe's and and the guys that I hung out with are super super cool. I could totally do a show with them. Yeah, I mean we could just we had a great time together and they're so funny and so chill.
I can see a show that. Yeah. Yeah, you know I've actually hung out with is the Vanderpub Rules guys.
Yeah, yeah, those guys, I've hung out quite a bit. They're young, like they're they're like forty two. So I've hung out with Jack's before. You know, he's fun. We went to a couple you know.
RAM games and oh cool bo Bo and i Bo is a big Rams fan, so we hang out pretty much at every Rams game. Uh yeah. And then you know Teddy and STOSSI are pretty close. So I've hung out with those guys, you know, quite a bit. I've actually, I'll be hung out with those guys more than I have.
Yeah, you know, I did find it's difficult to hang out with house husbands because even with David, we had a situation one time where when they were getting when he was finally divorcing Shannon, Shannon was manipulating the situation and Tamra was, you know, defending Shannon and making you know, bad comments about David, and David you know, reach out to me. He's like, Bro, we can't be friends if your wife's going to be talking shit on me. And I'm like, hey, I get it, bro, you know this is this is I can't control this. And I apologize to him. And we didn't talk for probably six months, but to date, you know, we always connect. We always you know, on holidays, and he's just such a cool cat.
I really really like David. Maybe we can have him on the podcast one day. Yeah we should.
Yeah, I think you'll like him a lot, primarily because not just because he's a house husband, but he could but I don't know if he still is in White Po, but he was in White Po when he was on the show.
Yeah, I'd love to meet him for sure. Awesome. Awesome, Well that's our show, guys, that's our show. Awesome, Mark, it's great catching up with you, Edwin. Always great catching up with you. I mean this flew by. We could keep going. But and to the audience great questions, we didn't even get to all of them, so keep sending these in and what We're having the blast doing this, So thank you for your support and thank you for listening.
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