Get to know Joe Gorga before RHONJ!
Joe reveals all including business success secrets and what it was like growing up with Teresa. You’ll be surprised to learn who was the troublemaker!
Plus, he opens up about the struggles his family has faced since being part of RHONJ.
This is the Eds with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyave the husband's know best too cheese production.
How you doing Edwin?
I'm doing all right. How are you?
I'm doing great. But it's always great chatting with you.
Man.
Always listen. We have an exciting guest today. I am so stoked because Joe Gorga is coming on our podcast. He is probably, in my opinion, one of the most famous house husbands in the whole entire Real Housewife network. The guy just has so many talents, from you know, a construction company to author. I guess he writes books. And the greatest thing of all is he did stand up comedy. Can you imagine the balls to do stand up comedy?
Just love that man. The guy is legendary. Man. You can tell he's got great discipline too.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Remember last Bravo con we went to when we were hanging out with all the Jersey guys.
Yeah, those guys are so cool, easy, so funny, so.
Funny, and it's my understanding they did a like a like a what do you call that?
A guys?
Uh?
What is that guy's dance show in Vegas called.
Magic Mic or something like that? Magic Mic, I got to share with you my magic mic dance.
You have one.
I have one. I did one for my company party, like thirteen years ago.
You have it on video.
I do have it on video.
I gotta see it, dude.
I bring out the umbrella. I choreographed the whole thing. It was it all.
That's awesome. Well that makes sense now because I remember we're at the podcast in San Francisco when we were launching our podcasts and the girls did their podcast live. Yeah, you were like, hey, let's go out there, do the umbrella, do the my magic mic dance. I'm like, I don't know how to do that, and you started showing me. I'm like, how does he know how to do that?
I remember that. Yeah, that's where that's where the little idea came from.
That's awesome. That is awesome.
I think he's ready. I think he's ready to go.
He's ready to go.
Bring him on. Let's bring the legend on. What's up, Joe, what's up? What's up?
Joe.
It's good to see you, Nice to see you. Everything good.
We appreciate you being on this show. We know how busy you are, so just taking the time to be on the show really means a lot.
Bat I was doing ninety to get home to get on this. I'm been a little crazy, but it's all good man.
Joe Gorga has been married to Melissa Gorga since two thousand and four. They share three kids together, Antonia, Gino and Joey. They have been part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey since twenty ten. D's that's a long time. Joe is an entrepreneur who has businesses in real estate development, trash and sanitation, retail, and Joe is an author. And one more thing I got to throw in there, Joe's a comedian. I mean he did stand up. We were just talking about that. You got balls, Joe, guy with big balls.
I think you forgot Also bodybuilder man. Joe's ripped man, He's always been ripped. In fact, we were just talking about your discipline, and you know, I'm a big fan of discipline. I can tell you have it just on everything You've been able to do right, just in all walks of life. And obviously you've been on this show for fourteen years and legendary status, right, you know. I often say, like, you know, when someone's good at something, when they could consistently do it right, and you know, you've been consistent all your life. And but before we you know, we talk about Housewives. I've always been a big fan of people's story and the beginning. Can you tell us a little bit about just the beginning of Joe.
The beginning of Housewives?
No, no, the beginning of your life? Right? How did you know your childhood life? And how did that? How did that start? You know, what was the conflict growing up? Who was the villains? Who was who was your mentors? You know, who were your you know, what were your dreams like when you were growing up?
Yeah, my childhood life was pretty pretty wild. I'm going to say I've been on a reality show now for ten years, I mean fourteen years, and I felt like I was on a TV show growing up. I mean I grew up in an inner city. So I was like this Italian kid surrounded by just a bunch of other Italians. But we were all in a great inner city, and I was the I was kind of the outcast.
The Italians were more like they were hanging out.
They were you know, playing cards at the at the coffee shops, you know, doing expressos, and and I was out just working, busting my ass and hustling and playing sports. I was always a workaholic. I started when I was nine years old delivering newspapers, and I delivered peoples like, oh, you delivered newspapers. Remember I don't have much papers now, but we used to go around on my bike with a big nap back, throw the newspapers out, get chased by dogs.
But I had like a thousand routes, thousand houses.
I had to do. Now I would do it overnight and start at four o'clock in the morning, get it all done before school. Go to work, I mean go to school. Get get out of school. Now you talk about grammar store, Now get out of school. Right after school, go to work at a hotol joint and flip hot dogs from three o'clock to six thirty. Then from six thirty I would go to football practice from six thirty till nine o'clock, get picked up, go back to work from nine ti like eleven thirty. And that was my day every day. Yeah, I worked very hard, and I was a star football player wrestler in a inner city school, so you know it was stud athletes. I was the only Italian kid on the whole team and I was to start running back.
So it was kind of like.
The kids used to run up to me. Back then there was no phones, there was beepers, but the kids used to run up to me. Joe, you shake your hand, couldn't take a picture of you. But I was kind of like a celebrity grown up because yeah, this little a time guy, I would score so many touchdowns at a big, big major high school.
So the way, Joe, how you know we have a lot of parents that listen to this show, right, And how important was sports for you growing up? And how did it help you in business because you've been very successful in business as well. But I'm curious to hear your thoughts on sports because I know for me, my mom putting me in sports was a huge deal with teaching me discipline.
And you just said it, discipline. Sports are everything. I like, I always tell my kids, you got to have a sport. You got to go to school, but you got to have a sportscause sports teach you.
They give you you.
You listen to a coach, you take orders, there's responsibilities you got to beat at a certain time.
You have to respect and sportsmanship is everything.
Sportsmanship is everything, and I always teach my kids that. So wrestling is one of the best sports ever because first of all, you're on that mat all by yourself and there's not a team, it's you. You have to you have to get out there and control it and keep it keep it disciplined, which you know I've I'm a little crazy, you know, as you guys know, I've been on a show and I lose my temper in ways, right. But what's amazing about my children is how they learned them. What I teach them not to be is be very disciplined. And the fact that if the situation on a wrestling mat or lacrosse or football gets out of here and you get hit in the head with a stick, you know, they weren't supposed to do that. Keep it, keep it settled, you know, keep it calm, don't hit the kid back. It's how you react. And I'm lucky, man. My kids are just pretty amazing at that. And sometimes I have to take a page out of air book, you know.
So where do you think you got your discipline from? Obviously I've grew up doing sports as well, and I learned a lot of discipline from sports, bodybuilding, and all that. That's that's where I learned it. But what do you think was it inherent of you to just like be so disciplined and so busy and working all the time, or was it a need? For me? It was a need, you know, growing up with nothing, I had no choice but to work. And that was that was you know, if you don't work, you don't eat, you don't have clothes, you know, you know all that stuff. That's what drove my discipline and my motivation. Where do you think you drew yours from?
I agree it was the need.
I mean, my father was a shoemaker and back then it was a little different than than us. These kids, we hand them everything. I wasn't handed everything. My dad made me go to work. He was hardcore. And when the kids across the street, we're on her skateboards and had brand new skateboards and bikes, and I didn't have one because my dad.
Didn't believe in that. He's like, go to work and earn your keep.
And I was caught in the grass and rotal tilling the garden with a pick and a shovel, a spade shovel, and everybody's having a good time and I say to myself, why is my dad so mean to me? I thought that, but today I'm forty nine years old, and I say to him, every day is in heaven now, and I always thank him, thank you for making me the man I am today, because he's the one that made me want things and go to work. And if I went out late at night and I got home late, he goes, you got to go to work at six o'clock in the morning. And he was like a drill sergeant.
But he knew, listen, I have a man as a son.
I have to make him a man. And that's why I tell my kids. I said, listen, oh Dad, I don't feel like going to practice today. I go, uh uh, you have to go to practice today. You have a responsibility. Your responsibility is that's your job. Your job is to go to practice because that's what that's what you do, right, That's what I do. If I don't go to work, you're not going to eat. So again, sports discipline and need I needed. I had to buy my own bike, so my dad should go to work and buy your bike. Our kids they want to buy, we buy for them. I don't know what we're doing, are we doing are we? You know, I almost want to hold back and not give them the bike like everyone has in the neighborhood. But then you're like all the other kids have it, so you kind of get forced into buying them the bike. Back then, my parents in a carry like go to work, and I went to work, and I earned my own money and I bought my bike.
That is so good.
You know.
One of my favorite quotes is, don't work off how you feel, work off your discipline. And that's exactly what you just mentioned there. Now, Joe, your parents immigrated to the United States from Italy. What made them choose New Jersey?
Well, they moved close to My dad had a sister here and he moved close to her sister. And that's where it's how literally a block away from his sister and she helped him out because he was eighteen years old. Wow, And that's how that's why I migrated to Patterson, New Jersey. I was hoping they migrated to like New York City's been some developer in New York City, bigger contacts, But I run up in Patterson, New Jersey.
You'd be building high rises by now.
Yeah, you know, what can it be like?
California, you know, with you guys, my son looking tan and nice, happy in Patterson, New Jersey.
Yeah, he migrated, got close to family, and then that's it. We stayed there forever.
Who was more of a troublemaker? You were Teresa? Growing up?
What do you that's a hardwood? It's not.
I think we should proceed that question with, you know, giving us a little bit of insight of how it was growing up with Teresa, because all we know is what we see on TV and experiencing the Bravo edit versus the real person, and the real experience is completely bipolar sometimes, right, So I'd like to hear a little bit more about how it was growing up with Teresa as their older sister.
Teresa, my sister was always she was a crazy one.
And if my parents said you got to be home at twelve o'clock at night, I would be home at twelve o'clock. I respected them, even though that I was the boy. I just didn't want to hear my father yell because he was crazy. And if my sister had to be on at twelve, the phone ring at twelve and she's like, man, I'm running late. I got it today, She'd try to push it to one and my father start yelling and he's not in a good moon. She comes home and it's a big it's an argument, it's a fight, and she would battle. She would battle, she would I mean she was afraid of her, but she would fight them.
Yeah.
She was always the one. Even when we were kids, she'd throw my toys out and out of the window. We lived in the two family house. I'm running outside. I was four years old, running outside in the street, you know, to get my toys out of the street.
She antagonized me a lot and my mother.
One time she threw one of those wooden spoons at her, and I remember that when we were kissing, hit it right ahead with it.
So my sister was always the one getting.
Yelled at, where I was more of you know, I respected them, I listened. But when I walked out the door and I went to school and I went to football, I was a bad I was a troublemaker and I was one closing the problems having fun. I was like the class clown. And then when I had to come home, I was a good guy. I was the angel around my parents.
Yeah, yeah, you wanted to impress them. You respected them and and I think that's very valuable in any relationship, particularly in this era where kids have no respect for elders, at least not in my neighborhood, you know. Uh.
And we grew up uh uh. Teresa and I were best friends, best friends. I mean, that's all we had. We had a small type family. We didn't have a lot of cousins and family back then. It was because everybody migrated over. They called each other paison's. You know you're my paison. I know you're formidably, so they thought each other formidably. They became almost like family. On holidays, all be together. So I thought people were my cousins when they were really weren't my cousin. When she she met Joe Judice, well she didn't meet Joe Judaice. I knew Joe judas her ex husband when we were we were babies. We were born here. My father was at the hospital when Joe Judice was born. That's how close their families were.
Wow.
So I thought he was my cousin.
My whole life.
And then she winds up Marriag my cousin, But we really aren't.
We weren't related, but but we were we.
Were best friends growing up. Her parents molded us to be.
Like that, and I always respected my sister. I was I was the guy looking out for her when she was coming home late. It was twelve o'clock at night, one o'clock her the curfew was, let's say one o'clock in the morning.
She would call me, Joe, where are you. I'm like, I'm on my way home.
She's like, well, wait, wait, wait for me, don't go home yet, and and tell tell Daddy were together. So I'll pick up the phone and.
I'd take a beat for her, like dad terces with me were running.
Like I got it, don't worried.
He's like, I got to kill you.
I'm like, but I always I would sometimes sit in the driveway waiting for her like this. She was my sister. I got to know back to that's what I could take her best friends and if she if she was dating a guy, and if some something going on, she told me about it, we would you know, same thing. It was like friends like true. I knew everything about her, shenew anything about me. And uh, that's how our parents are great. And our parents always said because my mom, her dad, her dad went to war never came home. We don't know if he's alive. We don't know. Her mom passed away when she was born, so my mother had nobody.
She her grandmother raised her.
Okay, so when my dad met my mom, he cherished her, cherished her, kept her up on a pedestal, and he always said, you got to take care of your mother and your sister. He goes, this is who we are, that's all we have. And that's because we were. We were in this New Jersey and his family was in Belgium and Italy. My mom had no family, and that's who we were. We were just this little, tight little family.
You know.
I see that when I when I see you and Melissa together, I see that you do the exact same thing to her and to your family. Right, you cherish your wife. You you just hold her up in a pedestal, and I think that's what really shows the dynamics of how amazing your relationship is together.
Yeah, but that, you know, that's what I was taught.
That's what I that's what I saw, and uh and you know's and that's how I am.
I treat her, I treat my wife, or I treat everybody.
Right, I'll be honest with you.
I really I really give everybody.
Respect and and if they screw me, you screw me. I walk away. I just never talk to you ever again. You know, I'm that type of guy. I just really want to love everybody and want to get along with everybody. It life is short, man. Yeah, you know there's no time for enemies. You don't like somebody, just say that, hell away from them, right.
Let me ask you this. Have you ever met anybody, and I've met probably total of three, two or three people in my life where you shake their hand and you get this awful feeling like I never want to be around this person ever again. And have you ever felt that? Of course, I mean it's rare for me, but I'm like you. I want to love on everybody. I take everybody under my wing. I want to help everybody and and and you know see how I can be of service. But there's just been those two or three instances where I just like, I feel like gross being around this person. I never want to be here again.
How About when you meet him and they're like, oh my god, this this person is amazing. Really, I mean, and and they they they don't turn out to the persons that that that they are here. So and then you realize that and you walk away, right.
Yeah, yeah, I see that part too. Yeah, I like to be real.
Listen, this what's up, man, This is who I am, this is what I do.
This is what I have. I'm not bigger than I am. I am who I am, and and that's it being real in life. You know, you know, you meet a lot of posers.
You do, you do, and and the consistency of your realness is what that what you know reflects the validity of who you are. Right, Like you said, there's been people that you meet. They're motivated, they're happy, they're energetic, they're you know, quoting all these things about you know, life is amazing, and they end up being douchebags or they end up being crooks or criminals, and you know it's like they hide behind that phase, right, and you're like, I'm disappointed, but I'm glad I didn't get screwed.
There's a lot of them out there, buddy, you know.
A lot a lot.
So yeah, Joe, Man, I love some I love so many of the things that you're talking about right now, especially with Father's Day coming up. You know, one of the biggest lessons my dad ever taught me that I'm so grateful for that you just talked about. But always tell me you got to take care of your mom. You got one mom. I don't care what happens, you take care of your mom. And that's always stood with me. So I'm glad you brought that up. And I'm also glad that you brought up how things aren't taught, they're caught right. You can try to teach someone all day long, but until you actually see it. And I try to do that with my son, with my with my kids where every Saturday I go visit Mom and I have breakfast and they see me do that, and sometimes Teddy's like, what are you gonna hang out with me on a Saturday morning. I'm like, Teddy, Eventually the kids are going to start hanging out with you because they see me always going to visit Mom. So I love that you mentioned that, man, especially with Father's Day coming out. You know, yeah, your dad sounds like an amazing guy.
By the way, my dad was really a real guy man. He was a hard working, just told you how it was. He was just he was an amazing, amazing man. My mother too. You know, hard working people, great people. You know, they weren't perfect, that one's perfect knowing it, but they were honest, honest, and that's it, you.
Know, speaking of imperfect. I want to talk a little bit more about your marriage and your relationship. I love it. It's it's you know everything that I believe in, how you to treat a woman. And I know you've told this to me before because we've hung out with you and Melissa a few times, you know, at events and stuff like that. And the question I want our audience to know or learn from is how did you and Melissa meet? Tell us about that.
The first time I saw Melissa, I was I was actually away on spring break and true story as a way, in spring break, I was a little I was a late bloomer because I worked. I started my business when I was eighteen. Everybody's in college going to spring break. So my first spring break, I believe I was twenty five or twenty six, so I mean, can't Coon. Everybody goes to cant Coon. I go with two of my friends wearing cant Coon. I'm in the pool, you know, two girls next to me, and they were playing this game on the beach. On the stage where you a guy and a girl. They run off the stage, run into the down the beach, into the ocean, and you change. You know. The girl takes her bikini off, the guy puts it on, she puts your shorts on, and they run out of it.
They run out of the ocean onto the stage.
Now the girl's booms are flopping and we're sitting at the pool. Keep in mind, this is a huge hotel. We're sitting at the pool and I'm watching this. I'm like, oh, this is a good game. I said, let's play it here. So we played that game. So I got this girl's thong bikini on and they got my shorts. I'm in the pool, I have two of them. My best friend since five years old was right next to me. He was he had a girl next to her. Said we're all hanging out. I'm kissing one, I'm moving, I'm kissing the other one.
They're grabbing my face.
And as they're grabbing my face, I look across the pool and I see this beautiful girl and that was my curly dark hair. She had this little leopard bikinian I look at her. I don't know what made me look and I say, oh my god, who is that? So I grabbed my friend, my best friend, Tony. The reason why I bring his name up because he tells the story. I grab him and I said, Tom, look at that. That's going to be my wife, right in front of these girls.
But I couldn't get up because I was I was busy. I had two girls in the two girls, but I kept my eye her.
I kept watching her. I kept seeing who her friends were, and I was like okay. So when I was done, I got up. I went. I went over to her table where they were hanging out. So I say, hey, who's that girl? Hi, guys, and I make friends with her friends. I go, who's that girl with the curly hair? And they're like, ah, you don't want to meet her, She's a bitch.
This is her friend.
She actually went up back. She went back to the room. So I said, no, I really want to meet. Where are you guys from? They're like, Tom's River. I try to go, are you guys going tonight? We're going to this club La Boom. That's what it was back then. So I go, I get their phone number, we meet, we go to this club La Boom. She didn't come out. Melissa had come out. She stayed in her room. She was a good girl. Melissa, she said she didn't she didn't want to come out. So these girls, I'm hanging out with her friends. I didn't want to hang out with her friends.
I really didn't ranging out in the price.
So I made friends with her friends. But I kept on saying, where's your friend? So for the rest of the trip, I didn't see her friend. I didn't see Melissa, but I knew she was from the Jersey Shore back home. So once we got home, went back summer hit, I flew down the shore to find her. Wow, and I found her.
How do you find somebody in the Jersey Shore, isn't it big?
No?
Because there's an area where all the nightclubs are okay, and you go to this one spot. And that's keep in mind. I kept them. I kept in touch with her friends.
Called her.
I said, are you guys going tonight? All right, We're going to Temptations. I'm like, I'm be there.
I get there.
Nice and early.
People used to go out at like twelve one o'clock.
Here I am. I get through. I was older, so I was working my own business. I got there like at nine o'clock, I'm sitting at the bar. Close started happening. So by the time twelve, Melissa would show up at one o'clock in the morning.
The club closes at two, so today she would come from one.
I guess that's when the cool people came from one to the store window.
So yeah, so I'm sitting there. Didn't think she was coming.
So I'm hanging out.
By the time i'm hanging out, I'm hooking up with girls.
I'm drinking.
I'm at the bar.
All of a sudden, Melissa walks in, but again I can't go up and talk to her yet because I was involved with another girl. So this went on.
This went on for like all summer, never really spoke.
To her till one day one day up north, I walk into a restaurant bar.
There she is working. She was bartending. I walked right up.
To her and I go, oh my god. I go, you know Melissa, right. She goes yes, like I've been looking for you all year. She goes why. I go, I'm going to marry you. I said, I'm going to put you on a pedestal and you're gonna be my wife. She goes, you you know and I said, let's I try to. I said, give me a number, let me take you at the dinner. She's like no. So she said no to me. So I said, yeah, you said no. I was obsessed with her. So I sat at her bar and I said, can I have a bottle? I started talking to girls. I said, you guys want to drink?
I said, can?
I can? I go to Melissa? Melissa, can I have a bottle of dom Perion for my Then I go, do you have any strawberries? With that?
Drinking at her barn, hitting on.
Her the whole time, but I was hanging out with these girls. I did that two weeks in a row. The third week I went back to the place and no. The third week I didn't go. I went two weeks in a row, did the same thing. She denied me twice. The third week, my friends went, I didn't go to the bar. They go, They come back. The next day. They called me in the morning and say, hey, Joe, yeah, he goes you know that bar to Melissa. I go, yeah, she was asking for you. I go, oh, she was asking for me. This is every Thursday night. Thursday night shot there. I walked up to her bar, and hey, Benny, hey, I got I heard you were asking for.
Jane.
She had her numbers ready. She slipped me her number. I got all right, took her around and one date and we never left each other ever since then. We dated for We dated for three months, three months, she moved in, six months, engaged, ten months married.
Wow.
Yeah. So we were married in August and my daughter was born in August a year later. We moved fast.
Oh what was it that gave you the confidence that she was the one?
You know what? I asked myself that same question, because I was engaged twice before her twice, and I called the weddings off myself. I called the wedding not because of any They weren't cheating.
I wasn't cheating, none of that. I just was so confused.
And I sat with this guy that was kind of like my mentor older guy. I was landscaping his house. I used to cut his grass. He was seventy years old, and I was like, ah, I said, Pete, I'm just so confused, Like I'm engaged. I just keep thinking about it. I don't know. I don't know if I want to get married, I go. I love her, I don't know if I'm in love with her, and he goes, son, if you have a doubt, get out because that doubt whatever's bothering you now about her, You've got to live with this person the rest of your life. He goes, you want to have a divorce. I said no, So he said yeah. And I listened to that, and I called the wedding off the first one. Second one was kind of like I was. I was kind of heartbroken calling off the wedding. I was confused. So I get engaged with this other girl. She was a great girl. Very that was a big mistake. Called that wedding off same a couple of weeks before wedding. I was never see the problem is with everybody today. Why people get engaged, I mean and get married. Some people don't even want to get married. They think, oh I got the right this is the right guy. He goes, he works hard. I really don't love him, but he's going to provide for me. Or oh this is the right girl. She's a good girl, you know, and you're really not crazy in love. I didn't want that. I wanted to be crazy in love with somebody because.
I know I'm nuts. You know, I'm nuts.
I need to be you know, I need to be with somebody that I love and I want to come home to. And Melissa was the one. When I met her, I just wanted to be with her every minute, and I knew she was one and there was not a doubt. Here's a little story before that. I was always a workaholic, so I'm always working. So I mean I'm getting engaged to the first one. So I say to my dad, I said, Dad, go get go pick me out a ring. Because my dad always went to the jewelers. He always had a connection with the jeweler. I always bought my mother's stuff. And I said, Dad, go find me a ring and bringing it. So the first woman he found the ring gave it. The second one, same thing. Go get me a ring. You got me ring.
Melissa came around. I said, bye, go get I'm ready to get married.
He goes. I said, go get me a ring. Goes ah, he goes, I'm doing it. He because you want to marry this girl. You go get your own ring, my own ring. He goes, you gotta be ready. And the day I got married. Look, the day I got married, beautiful, sunny day, beautiful. It's Sonny. We go up and we're giving our vows. Melissa goes, then I go. When I go, thunder was like a tornado, thundering light. Everybody's like, look, what the hell's going on? For a minute one minute and it stopped. I was getting my val So I got married. Coming out, my father comes to hug and he goes, you did it. He goes, he goes, holy ship, did you hear the rain? And I go, yo, my god.
He goes me yea and he goes, that's all the girls crying.
Then you got married.
Back in those Jersey Shore days, did you ever run into the New Jersey Shore Castle, because I assume that's when they were all famous.
Right, I ran it to him all time.
Yeah, and they were you ever buddies with them?
I know them, I know them all.
But no, not back then, No, not back then.
I met that back then.
No, no, no, I met him through TV. And don't don't they don't even live in Jersey Dire from like Glown Island. They were from different areas.
Yeah, they just welcome the reality TV right.
So, by the way, one thing that I want to make sure we don't skip overder is I think it's very important. You know, you go childhood right, you started working at a young age. You worked, you know, you were great at sports. How did you start your little empire that you got, or I shouldn't say little, your empire that you got with business? How did that get started? Where did you say finally like I'm going to start my business and was like a big risk that you had to take or how did that all come across come about?
I was I was in college. I was playing football. I tore my ACL had a major operation back then, and acls are not like today. You know, they cut you open right over the middle, big staples and you basically don't come back from that kind of injury. So it came home for the summer rehabbing my knee. Back.
A couple months later, I get I get a job.
I had to go back to college, but I get a job working for a landscaper and started working for him. And this guy had a beautiful house, nice cars. Know, he was married. I mean, this guy had the life. And I said, wow, yeah, I'm a young kid. You know. I came from Patterson, New Jersey. I lived in We lived in a real small house and this guy had a beautiful home, and I'm working and I see all the jobs that he was doing. I'm like, this guy makes money. So I started working for a couple months later. I worked from for about six months learning the business. And six months later I out my own business. And I was younger, like I said, I was nineteen years old. I decided not to go back to college and I went to my sister and I looked for this little business that were selling. It was cheap and it was like fifteen thousand dollars. I had to buy a route, which was they were selling thirty five houses, you know, lawn contracts, a beat up, beat up equipment like a law mallwer trailer.
The whole deal was fifteen thousand I had.
I didn't have any money, so I said, I thought, you know, entrepreneur, businessman. I said, how am I going to get this money? You know? So I said to my sister. She she was, you know, two years older than me. She had a job, she was doing any thing. I know. She had credit cards, So I said, can I can I cash advance your credit cards to ball the money? I said, I'll borrow the money, I'll pay you back, and she she gave me I think I cash advanced three credit cards five thousand dollars each.
And that's the relationship we had.
You no brother, sister, can I take She just starting her life right and she had three card I said, can I cash advance? Yeah, no problem here she game to me. I pulled the money out. I bought the business. I just beat up truck. Truck cost me one thousand dollars and I busted my ass paid her credit cards back, and little by little I remember the truck breaking down. After three months later, I had no truck. Truck broke down. I only bought it for one thousand dollars. And I would drive my loanmower, drive my loanmower with the big green bucket with the blower three whackers, and I'm driving a loanmower. You know, it's eight miles away to the because I lived in Patison, I'd get to North Hillton was my first house, and I'm driving.
It took me forever.
I left that four o'clock in the morning to get to the house by eight o'clock, took four hours to fill it up gas and and for I think four months, I worked without a truck, and I cut all these grass, and.
I drove my loanmower to everyone's house.
But see I would cut a guy's house, a guy like you, and you would see that I was hustling and working, and you would say to me, hey, Joe, you want to put my patio in, Joe, you want to put my And people just gravitated towards me. They saw I worked hard, and I'd work by myself and and and put a patio, and that would take a let's say, take a week. I'd do it in three days because I would work. I would start at eight the more I mean six in the morning, and work stayed at your house at eleven o'clock at night. You're eating dinner with your family, and I'm in there working in the backyard. And when I was done, people are like, here you go. They paid me. And slowly like that, I just grew and grew, and from the landscape and business started buying houses, sort of renovating houses, flipping houses, and then then houses went to multi million dollar homes, buying and flipping those or building them from the ground up and from there, and then started buying getting into apartment buildings. Because I always said, I have to have to create passive income. So I don't want to work with this my whole life. I need income coming in every month. So I started buying, uh two families, keeping them threes fours, learning the banking system, how to borrow money. Everything, everything's about borrow money. You got to know how to borrow money. You know. I met a guy, a.
Very very successful guy.
When he meets you, he shakes you, he says, how you doing, He goes, YEA, the more you owe, the more you work. So basically, if you if you if you owe a billion dollars, you work two billion. Correct.
The more you owe, the more you work.
Because he's really wealthy and he owes a lot of money, but he's worked ten times the money, you know. And so so I went from from building now I build apartment buildings and keep them in managing them.
So, so how long did it take you to finally start making money?
Right?
Because people think that it's an overnight success, like people just become overnight successes, right, And but what most people don't understand is the sacrifice that it takes, all the price that you have to pay. You know, you're talking about six am to eleven pm, working twelve am and people's houses. Like, people don't see that. They just now see that you're building, you know, apartments and high rises and all this, and they don't see that price. Right. So how long did it take you to finally make some money where you can buy some dom Pea bottles and go to Kancun and do all those things that you started doing twenty six twenty seven years old? Because you started at nineteen, how long did it take you to to actually start making some money.
I made money right away, you know what, because I worked. I did the impossible. I worked so hard the things that people like I'm not doing that, you know. I climbed trees that I was afraid of. Heights. Customers said to me, I got to look at this tree. You want to take it down, Joe. I just got a price for five thousand and take a down. I looked up. The tree was bigger than it was one hundred and some feet here.
It was an old tree.
He couldn't even wrap downs.
I go, yeah, five thousand dollars.
That was my first tree hive.
I go, yeah, daddy, I could do it. Pro I took this tree dout, climb the tree.
I got stuck up there for four hours. What do it meaning? Scared of heights? You know, in my head, I kept on saying, it's five thousand dollars. That's five thou. You gotta get this done. You can buy a new truck. You can buy a truck, get this tree down. Cut myself, got it down, did the impossible. I mean, I risked my life so many times. I mean, and I took the treat dot. I took the tree down. There was a whole story about that. It's funny as hell. But I got the treat at, I got daid and the next day I run to the the lettering guy and I put on my truck. My company was called Second Look Landscape, Second Look Landscape and tree Experts, and I said tree experts on the bottom.
And trees, and became one of the biggest tree companies.
So I had a landscape tree company. Oh yeah, So I made money. And everybody says, yeah, anybody, we live in the land of opportunity. You live in America. Can you make money? Yes, anybody can go go out and go to work. It hurts, work sucks, right, let's think about that. The more you put in, the more time you put in. Yeah, you don't go hang out with your friends. I said, I lost my childhood, right.
I worked.
I was a late bloomer. I didn't go to I didn't go to a spring break till I was twenty six. But you know what, by the time that little dick, I built a netpire. By the time I was twenty six, I had a house. So when I was in Cancun hanging out with those kids that are twenty two, twenty five, twenty six, because they're still.
I owned a house already, yeah, nice, you know, but I put the time in.
I literally, and I'm not exaggerating. I literally worked every day from four am. Now you're taking construction, get my stuff out four to eleven o'clock at night every night, and every night I came home, I lived. I lived at home from the beginning, and every night I came home, I'd come home at eleven o'clock. My mother would get up, wait, wait for me, get off, get up off the couch. She always made dinner and she would heat it up, make sure I had a nice home cooked meal, you know, every night, and I'd eat dinner at eleven o'clock at night.
That's awesome. You were talking about your success and how you built it.
Yeah, and all the sacrifice that that went with it. I mean, I love it because again, one of my favorite quotes is if you don't, if you don't sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice. And that literally is a testament of Joe's story. So I'm so glad we got we got we got a chance to hear that business side, because a lot of people don't get to hear that part, right, They only see what the Housewives show. And obviously I follow you on Instagram, so I see what you're doing, man, and I'm just like, man, this it's it's very inspiring. Now, really quick, tell us about you know you obviously you have three kids, right, do they watch the show at all?
Not really? I mean, my my daughter I went to college and all the girls in college start talking about it.
So she's like, I'm going to start watching his show.
So she started watching the show for the first time ever, and she's like, Wow, she's into it. She's like, you know, she wants to watch more. So that's she she waits for the episodes now. But the boys are not into it. They don't watch it at.
All, which is pretty cool.
I loved that my children over the fourteen years, didn't get a shit about being on TV. Never, We never made it a big deal. We kind of kept them humble and like this is no big deals, just work. And they never really got crazy with it, which was great. You know, they never got into it with all the nonsense and they just stayed real and did their own thing.
That was a question I had for you, you know, because it obviously affected yours and Melissa's life. When you became you know, famous like us, and anywhere you go, people want to take a picture with you, or they just want to touch you, or they just want to, you know, talk about your big you took Like how was that? Well that was last year? You know? How How did the kids get affected by their friends who watched the show? Did they ever have any good or bad experiences?
Nothing? Nothing bad, man, nothing, thank god? Everything great. Yeah.
Our kids try to avoid it. They try to, you know, say, well, I don't know what you're talking about. They never introduced themselves, you know, they try to avoid the whole. Yeah, tameras my mom. And when they found out, you know, they're like, what, we just went to our our old our Spencer's graduation party and he had a friend there from work and we were just chatting. My wife told me the story and she she she was having a conversation with him, the guy you know, was Spencer's age, talking to his mom and asking her questions, like typical questions, what do you do for a living? And so she proceeded to say, yeah, I'm on TV. I'm gonna I'm on the show. And she's like, what he never said anything about that? Yeah, you know, I've been on the show for years.
What.
Yeah, And he's been on the show. He's never said anything about being on TV.
That's good. That's when they're not affected and they're just like, listen, this is nothing and I'm doing my thing. That's that's that's great because when they get too involve, you know, the kids could.
Get it, could get that stuff.
Yeah, they get messed up, they get caught up in it, and this is a different world. It changes a lot of people. Yeah, and you gotta you gotta have it here.
How did it affect you and Melissa? You know, how did it change your lives if at all?
Oh, well, it definitely changed your life. It changed when we when we first got on the show, it was pretty crazy. Uh it was Uh, I mean it was the beginning, you know. I think Orange County was first, yeah, right, I think they had two or three seasons in and then we came on, I think the third season in and it became like this family thing.
Yeah, and was on it already, right.
Yeah, she was on. She was on first. She started the show with another woman, Dina, but then it came to this family thing, so it kind of it kind of went. We we our life changed instantly. I mean we couldn't wherever we walked, anywhere we went, major celebrities instantly. It was pretty crazy. You know, everybody wanted to know you so and we handled it. We handled it very well. Yeah, we really. I stayed very focused. I went to work every day. Melissa did her things. We had her bab our kids were very young, so she did the TV thing. Then she was handling her children. She came home when she was a mom, So kept her very grounded, which was great. And uh, same hare Man. But you know I could have I could have easily got to my head and and thought I was a big shot. And you know, I don't have to work like this anymore, and I don't have to do this. But now I stayed humble and I went and shoveled or picked dirt and do what I do. And and because I I know, listen, everything is temporary, not in last forever.
How did you handle the social media aspect of it? Because I always say and I remind my wife and everybody I talked to about this experience. Like you said earlier, Ted Ted Winder, I can't get over that name. When you are on a reality TV show, if fifty percent of the people love you and fifty percent of the people hate you, you're going to be popular, right. But if it swings either one way or the other, nobody, you're not going to make it right. So how did you handle the negative side of the social media? You know the people that's you know, you're not tall enough, you're not short enough, you're not white enough, you're not brown enough, you're not you're not good looking enough, you're too good looking? How did you handle all that negative?
Why do you have to throw a shorten there?
Because it goes with.
Im? Who would say that ship if I wasn't short?
It's that comes up. It's all stupid.
Yeah, and I say this all the time.
People ask me that question all the time. How do you handle it? How do you First, I got a thick, thick skin, and I look in the mirror. No, because we got we got hammered, hammered, right, you know, on on social media, you get hammered when you're a reality start may make up all these allegations about you know, all this bullshit, and nothing is true right for me, thank god, you know, but I really never gave a shit what anybody ever saying, because I look in the mirror. I get up every day and I earned every dollar I've ever made in my life this way. Yeah, and I don't give a shit when anybody could say about me, and it doesn't bother me. And I really barely read it, and I don't care to read in because I knew who I was. And when you know who you are, you know when you respond and everything goes you because you know you're that person and you responded. Yeah, So if they call you a certain name, or they say something and it eats you up, so you respond to it and you're trying to fight it or clean it up, nothing.
Up, and it ever affected your relationship with Melissa. For example, there was an instance where one of the housewives that was trying to get back at my wife. She couldn't hurt my wife any longer, so she came after me and created this whole fabricated scene at her house talking about, you know, I'm gay. I slept with this guy. I walked into a room with this guy, and this whole allegation that I was gay, And like you, I don't give up. You can say anything you want to bout me, gay, straight, whatever. But it affected my wife so much that she, you know, didn't know what to do and started getting offended, and it was obviously an attack on her marriage, right. And at one point I didn't understand it because I was like, Babe, it doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter what these people think about me. You know who I am, you know who what it's what our relationship is. And and it didn't dawn on me that it it created a little fight between us because I couldn't understand why it was affecting her so much. And then it took me a while to figure out, oh, it's affecting her. So I got to figure out why it's affecting her and support her on this, and what I learned is it was an attack on her family. And when they attack your kids, when they attack your family, that kind of that's where she loses her shit. Like you can attack everything, you can say, you know, you can. You can say I'm a crook if you want. That's illegal, but you can say I'm a crook. But don't go after my family. Don't go after my kids. You know, they're not part of this show. Did that ever happen to you guys, And did you guys ever have any problems like that? Oh?
Yeah, listen, we've we've been on this fourteen years. If I'm going to tell you things like that didn't happen it did? You know? This has been a rollercoaster. I mean there's been great times, there's been bad times. You know. Again, we've been we've been on with family, I mean some serious family stuff. So there was times that you know, we were so upset and we had arguments about it because for no reason, because of the because of the pressure, you know. Yeah, I mean it's been a lot. I mean, this is this is not an easy game, you know that, right, And we're putting our lives out there and we're just basically you're a darkboard. And just they're just throwing darts at you and trying to hit that bullseye and are constantly doing it. So it's a battle. And you really have to have true love, right you real left to laugh because that's how you this. But you guys been together for a long time too, right, Yeah, and you also meet your wife and if you don't have that real love and you were on the rocks already, or you're never gonna make it, because this is the pressure is crazy.
I remember in the beginning when I first learned about Jersey and I started watching a little bit about it through my wife. Of course, there was a lot of battling between you and Theresa and the family dynamics, and I thought, well, that's got to be bad, you know, because this is family. This is messing up families. I don't for us. They put us in a room with people we've never met in our life and call them our friends, right, and hey, here's your show. If I don't have a relationship with these people, I don't give a shit. I didn't know them before the show. I don't care after the show, right, But this is your family, And how did that affect you when it's affecting your family.
I mean, listen, I I would love to, you know, uh, be in a room.
I always say, tell everybody when we go to Bravo Khan and and you meet all the other people and you're like, listen, put me in a room with a bunch of strangers out to eat them alive. I have phone, you know, you just have some phone with it. Family.
It's it's a whole different world. It's a different ballgame. Like you, when you're done, you you go and you really it sinks into your head. Like even now, if I watch old episodes, like say on a Sunday, you walk by and there's an episode on and it you know, and because now because we're air and that's what they do, they show they rerun all these episodes and there's an incident that I had, you know that.
Goes back to like a family day. I don't even watch it. I can't watch it. Yeah, I still can't watch it. I don't want to watch it, you know. So I turned out, I turn it off. I walk right out of the room. And even Melissa, she wouldn't watch those those times because they was so real, so so so.
Bad for us.
I mean, yeah, it was tough. It was It's a ride, you know. That's why I think Jersey was such a popular show because of the family dynamic, and everywhere I went there were people would say to me when I this was I first got on the show, they were like, oh my god, you know hi Joe. Yeah, I don't get along with my brother, I don't get along with my sister, I don't get along with my mother, I don't get all my phone. I mean, the family dynamic thing is everywhere, and and that's why that show was so crazy and so popular, and that's why I went so fast when when we first got on and uh, yeah, it's been a ride, man.
I mean, that was one of the biggest things that stood out when I first learned about Jersey and how the family dynamics and all that it was got to be hard. The other dynamic that really stood out on Jersey is how you and the guys you could have your own show and you guys are so you know, you do so many cool things together on the show. You film a lot on the show. Tell tell me a little bit about how that happens. I mean, because the assumption I have is you guys grew up with each other. You know each other, and you get you actually get along with each other. Right, There's a lot of history, so it makes sense that you have that dynamic. Unlike our franchise or most franchises, the guys don't know each other really, you know. And and it's hard enough without having a television show in front of you to have a relationship with a husband of a wife. You know, like, like, just because you're her her her husband, doesn't mean we have to be friends, right, but do I mean we have to get along? But you know how, tell me about the Jersey House husbands, because you guys, you guys have it going on over there.
You know. It always takes one right, And if I like to party, man, I like to I like to work hard, but I like that fun. And and if if I'm working and I'm filming, so I worked all day, worked all day from five in the morning. Now now it's filming time. Say it's eight o'clock at night, nine o'clock at night, we're filming. We're at an event. I'm gonna have some fun. I don't care. We're filming. It's about my time.
This is I'm working on.
So I'm like, oh, come on, guys to a shot.
Come on.
So I am, I'm I'm the antagonizer.
I know you did it to us and Brava, Brava.
So I've you know, and I start people getting you know, I like to drink. I can handle my liquor very well, so I like to give. Just start start doing the shots. Get everybody a little twisted. Then the games start happening, you know. And I'm just a jokester. So you know, I've created this little bond with the guys and and we kind of Frank is the only guy on the show that I've known for thirty years, a big Franks containing everyone else. I basically met on the show.
Oh yeah, I got you. You and Joelan way back, I know it. Impressions.
Yeah.
No, Joe Beningo, No I met him. I met him on the show. Okay, but we clicked, you know, we clicked. And and Joe's funny because Joe's the kind of guy. He's really not a drinker, but he kind of like I antagonized in the drink and I said, come on doing that.
Come on.
Then he starts getting drunk, and he has three or four and he starts doing whatever and he starts dancing. He goes, let me.
Dance like you, all right, I show him how to dance.
Yeah, I got a sixty five year old guy trying to do the dance, the sexy dance.
You know.
They just they kind of just you know, they listen to me. They they we just we just have fun, you know.
And well here's one thing too, is you know, if you don't have fun, you become bitter. That's why it's so important to be to have fun, because that's how you you're grateful. Right. But the most bitter people I've met is just they're not having fun anymore. Yea, And I love that you mentioned that, Joe. As we begin to close, you know, father's days coming up, Just two quick questions. What's obviously you've been a great dad. What's your greatest less of being father, of being a father? And then what was the hardest lesson that you had to learn about being a father?
Uh, it's not about you anymore. It can't be greedy, it's it's it's it's I always tell everybody, even when I'm married with my wife, and you know, obviously my kids, my kids take it all. I just told my daughter this today. Uh, she says, I said, bring your brother to school for me. I can't do. She's like, Dad, I go, I go, huh, it's not honey. I bought you a nice car at your brother. Take care of your brother. You know it's not always about you. You know, my whole life I gave up for you and your brothers. I give my money to you, guys. I go. If I didn't have you, guys, I'd be living a life. I'd be on a yacht right now with a bunch of Columbian women, great time, not worrying about taking you here and tell you paying for college, paying for this. But so the biggest lesson is it's uh, don't you can't be selfish? You know it's not about you anymore.
I teach your kids that teach And the hardest moment about being a dad. What's been your hardest moment about being a dad?
My hardest moment, I really, I'm gonna say, man, I don't have a hard moment. I love it. I would have a hundred kids. I don't care. I'll deal with their problems, you know, I'll deal with everything. I just love. I love my kids. I love that I can look at them, and I love that I've taught them something and they use it. You know, I just there's nothing hard about being a father man's and I love all their challenges and you know hard.
Was it hard to see your daughter go away for college?
It was hard, but but it was still a beautiful thing. You know, you get it's a proud moment everybody, you know, I know you get upset. I got upset for that moment, but I'm also proud of her. You know, she's going to college. You know, go go, go be who you want to be. Do it the right way. You know. The hardest moment if she ever got in trouble and did some stupid things. And I always tell my kids no drugs. You know, that's the worst thing they can ever That would be the hardest moment if a parent ever had to go through that, because it's.
A difficult road.
And I pray every day that please they don't get involved in that. And you know, you can only wish and teach them, you know, plant that in their head. But that's that's the biggest moment. But you know, I don't. I'm good man. I'm happy being a dad. Man. I'd have a hundred of them. Yeah, and my seat everywhere. I'm gonna start planting my seat. I might give it out, you know, start selling it.
Well. I'll tell you what, man, the timing on you coming on couldn't have been better, especially with Father's Day coming up, because again, I think you're a great example of what a dad should be. You know again, married what over twenty years and three children, and you've done just a great job. And I've had so much fun in this interview.
You know.
One of the things that we try to do as well is we got to love I love the most is we got to talk a little bit about business because a lot of times you don't get to hear that. So yeah, again, thank you again for coming. I know you're busy man, so it means a lot.
Thank you. Thank you.
Listen, you keep looking at you too, handsome son of a bitches.
You guys keep doing it.
Hey feels mutual. Brother.
We'll see you soon.
Brother.
It's great talking to you man.
Guys. I mean, what an exciting interview. We want to have more and you know you for you listeners. We'd love to hear who you'd like on. I mean, I think Joe is an excellent excellent guest.
Yeah.
IM so grateful that he showed up because he is a busy guy.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean we have two for two now. We had Shane, he was awesome. Now Joe. I can't wait for our next one. This is awesome. All right, another great one, another great one. Great catching up brother. I guess we will see you on the next show.
Yeah. Oh, by the way, you know, so I don't know how this whole.
You know.
I was bragging to my wife the other day about us having five stars. Uh huh, and she's like, well, that's too many stars. You got to have some haters. You're not doing something right if everybody just loves you. Guys, I'm like, you can't win.
No, no something. This is not that kind of show. We want everybody to love us.
And that's what I told her. I'm like, I don't want any haters. I like my five stars.
I like my five stars.
Yeah. So, anyway, she made me laugh when she said that.
That's a good argument, though. I do have to say that. But we're not talking garbage. We're not you know, we're not being controversial about the housewife show. You know, we're just getting to know the guys, that's it.
This is what happens when you bragged your wife. I was like, well, you guys are like a three and a half. Guys, we're at five, you know. And of course miss Whitty over there always has a quick comeback.
Yes they do.
She's like, well, you would have one hundred thousand downloads if people actually hated you.
Yeah. Well we'll have to put that to the test someday now, but maybe. Anyways, I think we're doing a great job exactly. All right, Well, that's a wrap. I will see you on the next one.
And Happy Father's Day everyone.
Happy Father's Day, y'all.