The Daily ZeitgeistThe Zeiteous Trendstones: The Final Season 3/25: Jasmine Crockett/Gov. HotWheels, Tiger Woods/Vanessa Trump, Hamdan Ballal, Easter Egg Roll Sponsorships, FBI/Tesla, 23andMe
In this edition of The Zeiteous Trendstones: The Final Season, Jack and Miles discuss Jasmine Crockett dunking on Gov. HotWheels, Tiger Woods slurping on DoJu's sloppy seconds, Oscar winner Hamdan Ballal getting attacked by Israeli "settlers", the White House opening Trump's Easter Egg Roll to corporate sponsorships, the FBI's "Keep Tesla Safe" task force, 23andMe going bankrupt and much more!
Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the Zeit Chiss Tremstones, the final season. Ye shout out to gross face Killa on the discord. My name is Jack. That over there is Miles. It is yeah, the final season of the Righteous Gemstones or those like them, Chiss DRAMs dramon strange and you're watching it and it's good, right.
Started off interesting, like you don't see any like it's Bradley Cooper is no spoilers in it. Bradley Cooper is one of the the Ans, their ancestor from the Civil War, and you kind of just see where the tree grew from. It's kind of interesting. Then everything else it was a little bit hit or miss in certain parts, but there's enough that's really funny that I'm like, Okay, this is good. I'm still watching. I'm still watching. I'm not out.
Tom Hank's bit in the trailer is still like one of my favorite what's the Tom Hanks bit in the trailer where he's like you down here wasting away like Tom Hanks in that one movie. Oh yeah, she's like Philadelphia. Yeah, He's like, I'm not the aids won by hisself one. Anyways, my name is Jack that over there is Wiles and this episode we will just be doing righteous Gemstones quote yeah all the way from Colorado? Oh is here the silver Bullet?
Yeah?
Away from dude.
It's always wild when someone's on two simultaneous series on HBO, Like right now, I'm like, I'm just I'm getting to.
Pull it off.
Yeah, I can't.
I can't get gogged out. I don't think no, no, no no.
Because I'm also I'm on a drip. I'm on like on a slow drip with White Lotus that he's not featuring. Probably you're watching it like twenty minutes at a time. You're like, I'm yeah. When some people say they watch me at one point five x speed, I'm thinking I'm watching it a point twenty five x speed.
Basically just how discourse I am luxuriating? Any mm hmm.
Well, when you don't care about the discourse, it's quite it is quite liberating, I know.
And like I missed all the sevens Discourse. Now I'm like, do I even season two? I know?
That's just the weird. It's the fucking discourse.
Man, What happened in discourse?
What happened?
We were just doing disc golf? You know what happened back in the days when we were just kids. Just do disc disc golf. Now course you can't do disc golf on discourse, all right, But back when they did disc golf and had intercourse. Oh, that's a story.
We're gonna have to do about the sex recession generationally, the annual who's banging and who's not a lot of not banging happening, A lot of not banging happening for are not banging around happening out there banging around? All right?
Sorry, let's get into stories that aren't that. Yes, we of course have Governor hot Wheels trending from Texas.
Yep, yep, that's a jasmine. Crockett was speaking at the Human Rights CAMPAIG and referencing the state of Texas. It goes, you know, you know, we got governor hot Wheels down in Texas, and it was like whoa, yeah, little ablest. But I think this is all a lot of people are noticing that the outrage seems to be coming from the right more than anything, because this feels like one of those moments, like we've seen this before. Black people know this very deeply in their bones. White people cannot handle trash talk from black people. It's just it's somehow it's like a fucking like the nause ghoul is now got you. When they're like, oh not this motherfucker, they're like, oh shit, what do I because I can't even do my instinct is to be racist. But then that will give I will find out very quickly I can't do that.
What do I do? I just have to I have to be.
Outraged, And every fucking person on the right is sudden like this is despicable. The lack of compassion for he was paralyzed in a wheelchair like a by a branch that fell on him in his twenties. This is outrageous, and it's like, this is so wild come from the people who back the president, who could give a fuck about anybody with any kind of disability. In fact, he goes out of his way to make fun of disabled people on many occasions. You have in the state of Texas the fucking governor who, because of his terrible leadership, you have disabled people dying when you have fucking storms. This is just a lot of that shit where it's like, I don't know if you can quite sort of point to your record about giving a fuck about anybody with the disability, especially as you're now cutting just all the little bits of social safety net for anybody who needs any kind of assistance. It's very rich coming from them. But I think it's also the timing I think a little bit fortuitous for the Republicans, because they are so fucking thirsty to point the finger at the Democrats for something to get the heat off their back from Signal Gate, because they just got fucking trashed by senators and the Intelligence Committee today when they had to come up to the principal's office, which was wild to see that they even had the energy. Felt like a principal's office where the kids got caught, like, you know, smoking cigarettes or some shit at school, and they had to answer for something. They weren't cocky, like they knew. They sort of had this shame that they're like, yeah, that was a.
Fuck up, Like I'm actually not able to disclose at this moment. Oh, like they were yeah, yeah, they they really did look like they had gotten dressed down behind closed doors.
Yep, yep. Anyway, Democrats, this is the thing.
Look at where the energy's at.
Uh. You got people with spicy mouths who clearly know who are getting the Republicans just maybe don't do ableism, but like spicy, the spicy mouthless, let's do that.
Talk that shit.
Please talk that shit. Don't pull back. You can fuck just swear, doesn't matter. We're in a new era and guess what, there are plenty of people with mouths that can absolutely just squash these people in a very fun way. But anyway, a.
Lot of people don't know. It's one of the reasons there's so few of us in NBA. We're scared of the trash talk. We just we can't handle it. Basketball Lucas not an American. Yeah, yeah, you know, American whites are particularly weak and scared. Uh so we're that's why when it comes to that, we can't take it.
Like racism, the fear of the black body comes.
In where it's man, it's there, It's it's all rap. There's something there, it's something there. Man. I'm just saying, there's something there.
Man, I just saw something.
I saw something. I've seen something.
Uh but you know what, watch this you grab Chuck Schumer probably been like they're like she needs to be centure.
Oh for sure.
I mean like there's gonna be some stupid ass liberal centrist backlash.
Maybe you know he's gonna call it chuck. I gotta say, man, did you see this calling me?
It's just wild though too like for all the able a ship that like you hear coming from congress people, especially in the Republican Party. It's again when a black woman says something spicy, it's fucking this is who they are. The DEI congresswoman. It's like, well, now you guys just showing your racism as you get upset on behalf of Okay, whatever do you think?
Yeah, do your thing. You also, Tiger Woods continues his Hollywood Hulk Cogan turn. Heel turn was recently announced or you know, revealed that he's like a full on Trump supporter.
And now we knew, we saw the hair, we saw the hair.
We saw that.
We knew Tiger, we heard you, we knew Earl.
Yeah, and he he went from like zero sixty Eldrick. That's Earl was his father. He's Eldrick.
That's how we also Eldrick, Yes, Eldrick Trump supporter.
He so now he went from announcing he is a Trump supporter to dating Donald Trump Junior's ex wife, Vanessa Trump, like they like came out publicly and they're like, I just can't wait to go on this journey of life with you. Like you know an elderly divorced couple that you'd be like, Oh, I'm happy for them if they weren't like two of the shittiest people in the world.
Tiger, you look like a desiccated like dish sponge. You look crispy, bro Well happened. Love is in the air and wife is better with you by my side. Here, that's the caption. We look for journey through life together. At this time, we would appreciate privacy for all those close to our hearts. Then why are you hard launching this ship?
Yeah? Why is she if she wants privacy? Is her name still Trump? Yeah? Years after the divorce whatever, I'm just saying, all right. Ham Don Balal, who is one of the directors of the film No Other Land that won the OSCAR for Best Long Form Documentary, was basically kidnapped from so he was beat by a group.
Of settlers in the settlers and quotes you know it sounds like a lynch mob where they didn't get to lynch him, is how people talked about it. Although people were using the New York Times, I believe used the word. I saw the word lynch being used.
I'm like, oh, he is definitely used by the guy who he made the movie with. He said lynched hamdam below, and that.
Has a very different connotation in America. I was like, hold on, but then it sounds like again it was an extra legal mob that came to beat him, and the police were in on it. And then he was, yeah, they beat him. They showed up with the police beat him. His head and stomach were bleeding.
He called an ambulance as he was being taken away by the ambulance, the police and the settlers, by the way, the settlers wearing masks, like straight up looking like a clan. Yeah, like it was out of the KKK. The settlers then entered the ambulance and just took him right and he is still alive. The end was just released by the police. The headline from the New York Times. However, Oh god, so that story that we just told was his business and was attacked by a mob.
Because he's very visible now that he's won an Academy Award for bringing attention to this very specific place in the West Bank.
Oh and he was interviewed and was like, I don't speak Hebrew, but I did hear them repeatedly saying my name and saying Oscar, so they were coming after me. The New York Times headline Israeli police released Palestinian director hamdam Balah after west Bank incident.
Oh oh, the west Bank incident.
So it makes it sound like he got arrested and then exactly there was an incident.
That warranted police detention. I think, interesting, yeah, yeah, no, you were attacked by a group of domestic terrorists and that's that. But again, where this is that this is coming out of time where the New York Times is like they're beholding to nothing aside from just being like, yeah, I don't know.
He was making. It was easy for people to just kind of skip past this as much. Oh damn, what did he do?
Is he a trouble maker?
I don't know. Anyway back, you know, it was an incident. It's pretty boring actually, so you probably just want to move on to this. Uh I cast iron split chicken recipe. Oh this is great.
Also the sheet pan method for case Adiaz.
Oh my god, well did you get that wordle today? It's crazy? Man? Wait what was the thing about the Lynch mob.
It was like an incident. He was released anyway, The cops are like, he didn't do anything, like he was It's fine, it's fine.
Lynch is a five letter word, so you could guess it. I'm wordle. I'm just saying it's not. It's also one that lacks a standard valve, so it's a tricky old wordle y'all.
I'm guessing in the next few days that might just.
Turn it out there. Well, why uh, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back. We're back. And the Taco Bell White House Easter egg Roll, presented by Monster Energy Drink is something we might see in the not too distant future. So instead of just celebrating a holiday and providing the same, you know, fun kid activities for fucking centuries, Trump has found a way to make a few bucks from the White House Easter egg roll. They're selling sponsorship opportunities for companies who want their branding at the event. Like, how come who is getting the money for this? He is, of course he is. That's am I am. I like just behind like that that seems extra back, like the emoluments or whatever the fuck that is.
Yeah, no, mo, cause that's dead, you know it.
Some of the packages even in include brunch with Milania. It's not clear if they're going to cover the Easter Bunny and brand Logan is like a NASCAR driver, but like it truly is. They're just turning White House events into the Fire Festival. I'm yeah.
I mean technically it says, you know, the White House Historical Association is the body that would receive any kind of financial you know, incentive or whatever. But this fucking guy, it's just gonna it's so out in the open. He's probably gonna be like, Okay, give me the cash right now, Like Trump will probably do cash drops himself. Oh yeah, I feel at this point because he he misses, he's like I missed the way a million dollars feels in a Duffel bag and miss he.
Would like get fucked over just for you know, like somebody who is already rich but like can't stop playing, like like want wanting to like have cred. Right, I don't know that this event has been happening for one hundred and forty seven years, not like he went and fucked it up.
Yeah, went fucked it up. We were it was supposed to be sacred. We were supposed to celebrate the resurrection of the Savior by dying growing an egg man. But I really do hope it is the Taco Belly White House Easter egg Roll brought to you by Boster's Sport, And I mean, it's just gonna.
Be the Tesla brought to you by SpaceX. The most expensive package include the corporate booth, logo, placements, branded snacks or beverages, exclusive tickets to brunch with the First Lady, chance to engage with the White House Press Corps, a private White House tour, and one hundred and fifty tickets to the event.
Hey, I think anyone, I mean, this is a really good way to just out out yourself as a terrible business owner and make people not want to buy anything that you sell at all.
So go ahead.
I'm excited to see who signs up to sponsor this.
I mean, weirdly, this event used to be paid for by the American egg Board, but they didn't plaster ads everywhere. It was just like, I guess the application is that not enough people knew of out eggs right right right.
It was like there and now I don't know, kind of a hot ticket item. They'd be like, damn, you got this many fucking eggs.
That is kind of crazy.
Yeah, and we're just rolling them.
Wow, must be nice, Damn must ice Yeah, brand the editors. There's a little tone deaf that they're playing with eggs like that out here. It's like lighting your cigar with one hundred dollar bill. Be a part of history, that's Jesus the guy.
Yeah, be a part of infamy.
It is a The guide was written by Harbinger an Event, which appropriately named an event production company founded by Republican AIDS in twenty thirteen.
Great, of course, of course, of course, it's all revolving door folks. And then pretty soon the ideas that are at the bottom of the barrel are now rise to the top and are our best ideas, all right.
The FBI has launched a special task force to keep Tesla safe, good, good, just today after Attorney General Pambondi claimed that the molotov cocktails used to destroy Tesla's constitute a weapon of mass destruction.
Hmm oh, okay, I mean that's great, because that's more justification for the Iraq war if A if a molotov cocky WMD, then they weren't lying. Yeah, Jeffrey Goldberg, you don't have to apologize for raw raing that anymore. If Pam Bondi has now lowered the bar for what is a WMD, that.
Is is a low bar, a low bar.
It's bad.
It's bad.
I mean, just like the idea that like that they just need if they feel they need to create the optics of like there's a new FBI task force where that's gonna what hang around the outside of a Tesla dealership. You're just talking about random act of vandalism. It's not like there's some fucking uh like organization behind every single act of vandalism against a Tesla and then you're gonna somehow fucking bring this ship down like it's a sting operation. Yeah, I don't know.
They I mean, they that didn't stop them from waging a war on terror. That was you know they you know, so they acted like they were trying to take down the mob and it was you know, a grandfather who they just like convinced to say.
That he was Oh, we call it entrapmant Okay, there's a word for it. We entrapped an elderly man. Okay, but hey, so got the high five after there's.
An art form to it. Yeah, but they have launched a special Task Force in conjunction with the ATF to crack down on these attacks against Elon Musk's fragile ego aka Tesla Cars.
Yeah great, I thought, weren't they talking about trying to get rid of ATF. Like Elon Musk did say something about getting rid of ATF. Just so funny.
He's the CEO of America. You can do whatever the fuck you wants.
Yeah, but it's like it's just wild. Like Lauren Bolbert Baby, Lauren Bolbert was like, we need to abolish the ATF, And now they're like, ADF, save our stupid save these cars or these car lots.
Things are things are getting dumber and dumber every day every day. This will fix it, This will turn around the bottoming out Tesla sales.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's it's the fact that people are vandalizing them, which is why people don't want to buy them. That's that's the source of the bleeding that they're trying to stop for the brand. Yeah.
And finally, big news for anybody who used twenty three and meters the company that offered people genetic testing without having to suffer the indignity of going on Maury. They have just declared bankruptcy and are looking for a buyer. Okay, what can I have your genetic material? They've decoded your genome and they are now going to sell it to the highest bidder. Okay, great, this isn't super shocking. Last fall they had to ax forty percent of its workforce, and not long after that they're in entire board resigned. But it's basically been pretty bad since a twenty twenty three data breach affected the data of nearly seven million people. So they've always been they've always had a little bit of a hard time with the responsibility that comes with having the most private and valuable information that you could possibly have about somebody.
I mean, it's this, I'm kinda glad. My first suspicions around all this shit was like mmmm nah. And it wasn't because I was like so far ahead on like the future, and I was like, I'm not sharing my DNA part of me. I think inherently that like this is kind of weird, and I couldn't quite answer what the question, like, like that question to what how is this valuable to them? On the other side, like on one level, it's like what do they do like plint your DNA for like future crime evidence or whatever. The price was like too good. It's like yeah, yeah, why are they willing to do this?
Yeah? Yeah.
And also I think I've just been off all that shit about like your ancestry and stuff, because I remember in the beginning days of ancestry dot Com, I was like, brother, shit doesn't work for people who are enslaved. Right you're from oh you're Homa, You're from Chicago in nineteen ten, right about that. That's what it all starts with that, Yeah, somemmerund then gets a little blurry after like from eighteen sixty something. Yeah, yeah, you don't ask. Don't ask, don't ask. The one one that's interesting is the Black ancestry one for black people in America, where you can try and trace things back a little bit more specifically to Africa. But like the twenty three and me stuff just did it quite Yeah, they weren't bothering.
With that shit. So the California Attorney General Rob Bonta issued a what's being called an unusual consumer alert, urging people to ask the company to delete their data and destroy any samples of genetic material they're holding. Damn, which is truck Like, I just this whole thing of like giving this sort of responsibility and like access to our most private information to private companies is like I feel like we're going to look back on it and be like, we just like gave that to a company buy and sell as they saw a fit. Like what do you They announced Sunday, They're like, we're not doing anything we haven't done before. We're going to be very careful with your genetic data. They also announced over the weekend that they are headed to bankruptcy court to sell their assets. Like what do you think their assets are? Yeah? Spit everyone's spit right, everyone's DNA.
I mean I know that. That is the thing. How that is the endgame is that pharmaceutical companies would love that. That's that's like, that's the real values like to pharmacy, like phar pharmaceutical companies.
Research, the police, and digital rights groups have already been urging twenty three and meters to resist a sale to any company with ties to law enforcement for obvious reasons that might not be so obvious to them. Wow, it is wild that, like the Attorney General of California is like, guys, delete, pull the fucking Paris. You get out of there now while you still can.
Jesus. Yeah, it's like funny because you think, like in the most like fucked up weed conspiracy theory, otal brain part is like, there's no way they can just do that, right and then fuck around and then now, but y'all, we've branched off into the timeline.
Where arrested development they can do that they in fact did. All right, those are some of the things that are trending on this Tuesday afternoon. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get your vaccines while you still can't get your flu shots, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to y'all tomorrow. Fight five
