The WeekTrend Update 12/11: Alex Jones, US Veto, Organized Shoplifting, Krispy Kreme, Golden Globes

Published Dec 11, 2023, 7:56 PM

In this edition of The WeekTrend Update, Jack and Miles discuss their respective weekends, the return of Alex Jones to Twitter, the US vetoing a ceasefire in Gaza, "organized shoplifting" not actually being a thing, Krispy Kreme invading France, and the Golden Globe nominations!

WATCH: Mitchell and Webb: "Are we the baddies?"

Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Daily Guy. Yeah for December eleventh, twenty twenty three, twelve eleven, twelve eleven, two weeks away a countdown Santa's birthday. That's right, we're right there, right on the prespass.

Can we canonically change Christmas to be about Santa's birthday?

And then Phils righty was born with a little white beard.

Man.

We were just talking about the character Leo from the latter Lethal Weapon movies, the Joe Pesci character.

Okay, I get I o, kay, fucking lives rent free in my head man for no reason.

They fuck you at the drive room is.

So just etched in there. I think that was also like one of the early early rated R movies that I saw, so.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. It was funny.

I could get away with watching shit like Lethal Weapon because it was as long as it was kind of comedic. My mom would like, look past the wanton violence. She's like, oh, yeah, that part was funny. He was taking a pooh, but he could have died on a bomb.

That's right too. They all kind of run together to.

They all run together for me.

Yeah, all right, Well, my name is Jack. Oh Brian, that's Miles Gray. And this is the episode where we tell you what happened over the weekend, both news wise and with us and in our lives and in our lives. And we like to open things up by telling you a couple of things we think are overrated and then some of the wee thing's underrated. Miles, do you want to kick us off with?

Yeah?

Over, over, over, I'm going to say, and this isn't like nothing new, but just giving you an example of what I was interacting with over the weekend. Uh, nostalgia like nostalgic marketing. Marketing are nostalgia commodifying on this nostalgia?

I fucking hate how powerful it is.

When they get you with just using memories from our youth to sell us more shit. And why I am certainly someone that is a nostalgia freak. There are times where it like hits me in this weird way, like it's the Ring of Power or some shit.

I'm like, yeah, fucking lean into this shit. And other times I'm like, are.

You just dissatisfied with your life in the past, And I'm like, what the fuck was that?

No?

Yeah, I need this fucking old Wu Tang poster that I had when I was fourteen, and I will not hang up, but.

I will have it.

Yeah, it's gonna be my question, like do you actually like put it up?

This is right? Yeah exactly.

Sometimes you buy shit to just for the fucking weird consumer high. But you know, like again, like I love, I love all things from the past. I will never shit on someone's love for yesteryear. But when it when it gets commodified, that's when it's a weird moment. Okay, for example, they are real. They've re released one of my favorite toys from childhood, the Playmates manufactured teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. Okay, I spent fucking hours playing with these little fuckers, Okay in the bathtub in my fucking house, pulling out the couch cushions, making like big buildings. I will like knock over with the fucking you know, with my turtle bus and shit. And you know, I was like, this seems like really cool, and the thought of being being reunited with these little plastic fuckers for fifty dollars seems like a no brainer. But then there's like this cynicism again that I feel like I'm like, am I buying this shit because I'm a collector and this is meaningful to my collection. Or is this just a way to reconnect with the time of my life that was simpler and innocent and that's something that feels like a refuge in adulthood.

So yeah, I like both of those are equally valid though, of.

Course, But the thing is I don't collect Ninja turtleshit right, you know what I mean?

So, like that's where I'm like, I am buying it because I collected shit.

I'm buying it, I think, just because I'm like, I want to have that again, and then when I get it, inevitably ten minutes will pass.

I'm like, why the fuck did I buy these little plastic.

Fuck for words?

I mean yeah, So like the that's where, like you kind of I find a little bit of a philosophical quagmire.

Not even it's not even philosophical.

It's really just trying to figure out why the fuck I want the thing, and if it's truly because I really do, or again because it's like just that consumerist trap that says true freedom comes when someone hands you a bag and asks if you want the receipt in it.

Yeah, especially like the if you get the thing and then don't ever use it or look at it. I bought I bought that when we were at NBA con I bought that outcast Atlanta Hawk's jersey.

You were you were, you know you were tortured when you buy though, too. I'll give you that.

Like, I'm not gonna I don't think I'm gonna wear this. Am I gonna wear this? I'm probably gonna wear this. I haven't worn a basketball jersey in twenty years really.

But just but I love Outcats.

But the feeling of buying it and carrying it around for a little while was fun. And but yeah, then it just kind of sets my closet.

And well see that's why I like we're saying, my Woo York Knicks jersey becomes like art on my rack of jersey.

There you go.

And I'm gonna I'm gonna rocket.

When I go to Japan because finally it'll be like real winter ship. I could wear it fucking underneath my bubble jacket.

Exactly.

Wear it over your bubble jacket, you know.

Dude, looks so tight. Layer it I overrated?

Is uh menthol and things that aren't cigarettes. I've got I've got two products in my shower that make my face just like slightly burn a little bit, like make my head and the parts around my eyes feel like the inside of my mouth when I've got an Altoyd in you know. They's like, yeah, just like a little burned tingle. One is a head and shoulder shampoo, which I tried to look it up first of all. Yet yes, uh, I know you're you're shocked, right that I need head and shoulders, But you were back all the time. I know that exactly, exactly, that's right. The first plot twist that I knew was that head and shoulder that but you don't have Dan Driff exactly. Damn that was Kaiser soz along. But yeah, I don't think we got it at TJ Max. And I don't I can't find this specific type of head. Yeah, like I think it was like they were just they threw it out there like one bottle of shampoo as a as a weather balloon to see how how it reacts.

Is it is it that they used TJ Max as the weather balloon site or is it Last Chance Saloon.

Last Chancellon, Yes, definitely Last Chancellor.

Yeah, yeah, just like they like nobody's fucking with this, which is funny.

That's why it's always a trap.

I remember my mom bought like a soap or something there, and she was fucking gonna, like, you know, waste a year of her life searching for it.

Again.

I was like, well, that's the thing at TJ Max, Like, I'm pretty sure that that's it, Like you know, like half the time it is shit that is discontinued.

Yeah, but I think I don't have I didn't like take a picture of my shampoo bottle for this episode's to day, but in I'm pretty sure it's called like negative five degrees celsius or something like that, and it has like a block of ice on the thing, and it just, yeah, it just makes my eyes feel like something is happening to them, like the my mucus membranes on my head. You know, I'm not not washing my face with Shane poo. But the ship just like.

Kind of leaks down, right.

And then the other one. I think the shampoo made me realize that a face watch that I have has the same thing, just like a little bit more subtle. And I looked at the ingredients list and menthol is right in there on both of them. And again, I feel like there's a lot of people who are probably into this because of just how common it is on you know, your pharmacy shelves. And maybe it's part of my anti peppermint bias. And I totally respect everybody's right to like peppermint. I just feel like it it might be overrepresented, but I based on some feedback I've gotten, maybe I'm wrong. Your eyes, Yes, peppermint twitter was all up in my ass and it tingled, it tingled. No, But it seems like the goal is to be like, see it's working, Like that's how you know it's cleaning your scalp is because your scalp feels like you know, it had a slight burn, like you're you're recovering from a slight burn. Well, I don't know. I feel like the bubbles is how I know it's working. That's like what mine I don't have dandriff, Yeah, I don't have. No, I don't. Yeah. My brain is just like bubbles is that's toothpaste, face soap, hand soap. Everything gotta have bubbles. If it's bubbles, I'm in. That means I'm clean. I don't need the smoke and mirrorge to make me feel like I'm having the dirt and oil like gently singed off my body.

Yeah, it's it's a slippery slope, you know.

It's like they're they're like these eye drops that I would get from Japan that are mentolated.

Oh yeah, that seems dude.

The commercial, Okay, the commercial was like an office worker, dude at his desk all day, just blue light fucking hammering his eye balls and ship and then he'd like get on the train and it's like blight bright fluorescent lights.

He gets home, it's TV these lights.

And they're like they're saying like, yo, You're like you got to give your eye like a little bit of a refresher.

And he puts this shit on and like when it hits like.

Ice cubes explode, like as if the splash from the eye drops hitting his eyes like ice. Yeah, and the whole thing's like like the whole commercial is like so fucking sensational where he's like, I gotta do I And I would always bring that back for.

All the stoners and be like, Yo, try this eye drop and they'd be like what the fuck?

Everybody thought it was Mason shit. And then afterwards you're like, yo, it does feel like different. Put it clean exactly, but is it better? I have no idea. I really do think it's it's just that feeling that you go through and it's like, dude, just a little bit.

Of we like this would be the sort of thing that I would have enjoyed, like well high, you know, like makes like a little bit like hinglywashed.

Look I have face watched that does that, and I don't appreciate it, okay.

Like it's just weird.

Like as I'm good, I'm like, like just I just wanted to feel clean, not like like I don't need to feel any others. There's no sensation of clean of aside from my feeling like, okay, it's not oily or whatever.

I know I'm clean because my face dries out and that's that's my version of clean. That's like wrinkles.

When I see the wrinkles for me, when I smile, I want to see a bunch of dead skin crack.

You can hear my face when I smile, and that's how you know my face is clean.

So dry.

Also, looking in the Reddit thread where somebody complained about this, uh, inevitably, somebody was like this is just the younger generation being too soft. But I just I just want to say, I like a little bit of pain with my bathroom routine. I take, you know, I do flossing and take my ship to the torture chamber with floss.

Yeah, you fust away. Your dentist actually has been like reprimanding you, right, like.

Trying to chill the fuck out. Man.

That's oh, you're just soft the younger generation. He's like, I'm sixty seven, So the first.

Time we've actually had to recommend dental patient to the therapist. We have a dental therapist. But you're clearly working through some shit with you flussing.

This is so weird that you chose flossing as the medium for this thing.

To just get your shit out. All right? Uh? Underrated? What's you think is underrated?

Underrated?

First of all, I will say it again, puppet shows. I saw another puppet show. I saw a puppet Nutcracker.

Yeah, I told you any a Halloween one. There's I'm saying, there's just something very pure about puppetry. I don't know what it is.

I think it's like one of these art forms that have existed for like centuries.

But you I don't know, there's something pure about it.

And I found myself like, oh, the one that was like so one of the puppeteers was manipulating like a little dog running and I was.

Like, oh, look at the dog.

I was like, dude, in my mind afterwards, I saw her majesty we had the baby. I said, I'm like, what was your favorite puppy? Mine was the dog. She was like what, Like, dude, the dog was so cool. The dog was so tight. But the thing that I think is underrated is how easily I can get caught up in reality TV sensationalism.

Uh. I was watching that.

Squid Game Show like sick bro, Like I'm you can hear right now, I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not doing too great. But I was like laid out and.

I was like, oh, fucking let me watch the Squid Game Show the first episode right, like there's all kinds of learning, all these the cast, the characters. But I have to say, without the without the power of the original narrative show behind it, I would really say there's to be a boring ass reality show like it only resonates because it's like they're really trying to go like match the original Korean drama. But the producers, no, fuck it look reality TV. Like I watch a lot, they know what the fuck they're doing. They know how to squeeze every bit of emotion out of anything. And I got to say that first episode that had the mother and son doing the red light green Light challenge and shit was she crossed the line and they were embracing each other. I almost started full voice scream crying because I couldn't believe it.

And have you seen it? Did you see the first episode?

Huh?

Okay?

So I mean this isn't really Apol's partly a spoiler because the show is so long, but like they're doing red light green Light and you find out two of these of the contestants are a mother and son, and the sun gets across the line and like in the beginning, like people are getting hit with paintballs and shit to sort of represent being shot. We talked about this in like a past episode. But he's like waiting for his mom to cross the line, and like the clock is ticking down and she's like older, and she's like trying to like do her best to make it, like is she gonna make and she makes it and she's so happy and he's just like, Mom, you did it, and they're jumped up and down, and it was so sensationalized the way they made it all slow motion.

Like is she gonna get fucking Mrked? We don't know?

Or will she entered the embrace of her son's loving arms, and I was like, I was done.

And you know, it's.

Like it's like this is us where like they go for like vague life experiences that like hit very broadly and then turn that ship up to fifty and make your emotions explode. And so I'm such a mama's boy, So like that moment really had me thinking, like what if my mom had to enter a death match so she could win in muney like, and I'm like, and then she made it?

What what if that was us? And then I took it and went, what the fuck is wrong with me right now? So, but yeah, they got me.

Do they talk about like the thing that we know we got in the originals quick game that like why they need the money or is that?

Yeah?

People talk about it, Okay, yeah, a lot of people, Like from the first couple episodes I saw it's very vague.

It's like, you know, for my family.

No, I have like a rare something that like only four point five six million dollars will help, Like.

That's the exact amount I need.

It's just a lot of like I mean, like anyone, it's just like, what what couldn't I do to better my life with four and a half million dollars?

Pre text also shut up Red Lake green Light, good game. I was playing playing a little red Lake green Light this weekend with some some young and some guys.

Some guys I am in the parking.

Something so underrated for me being old. I just want to the degree to which I am not hearing the siren call of the Panera lemonade that.

Took another life. Ps.

Yeah, like the fact that I have not like this is normally the type of shit that I would be backing out of my driveway on my way to get before the person finished the phrase like heart explode, you know, but I can like almost hear the absence of the voice in my head telling me to go out and get that ship, like you know, like the yeah, I don't know. It's you know, when you live in the city and you go out to the like beach or country or woods, and you can actually like hear the sound of silence. That's kind of what it's like in my head right now with uh, with regards to my my lack of interest in getting like I used to drink the those five hour energy things they they had, so those had a ton of caffeine in them. They used to drink the like extra strength ones, like multiple a day just to like get through the day. I don't know, it just like yeah, it's and I think it was just like anything to not feel like whatever, not not feel whatever I was feeling at that moment.

You know, you'd rather have like the overarching feeling just be like heart racing, yea, like heart.

Racing down to crash down to and I don't know, it just feels like when I was young, I had this misconception that like you like this is as good as it gets, and then like it gets worse. And that's true, like physically, you know that it gets harder physically, but like mentally, you really you really learn some tricks as you get older, and you just like learn how to be okay, or at least you know, I have sometimes I've learned to how to sometimes be okay without the you know, Panera charged lemonade coursing through my veins. Yeah, telling me to you know.

Well, it's yeah, like we take all those feelings that are like when you're in your twenties, You're like, what the fuck is all this shit? I'm like feeling right now, And then you get older You're like, no, no, no, this.

Might be trying to communicate to me.

Yeah, yeah, listen to your body, listen to your brain a little bit more. But yeah, like there was a time when I was like, really, I didn't realize it at the time, but so much of like how I felt about like just kind of a hopelessness was based on the idea that like and then you get older and it just sucks. Like you know what, I don't want to get fucking old. That's horrible, but I don't know, it's not bad. And in fact, like they've done studies. I remember we we did this article on like myths in wellness culture and uh back back at Cracked, and like one of them was that people actually report getting happier as they get older, and that like fucking bleom. I was like what, no, at them and they're freaking me out. Yeah yeah, yeah, anyways, uh yeah, give it a chance get older, and you know, you figure some things out.

I wonder in your head, I saw it like a tweet that was blowing up or.

Someone was like, like, it fucks you up, Like when when you're there's something where something that says like it really fucks you up. When you turn twenty nine and you realize how close you are to thirty nine and like all these people like, oh fuck, no, thirty nine now, and I'm like, y'all.

It's it's not bad. It's not bad.

I'm actually surprised, And part of me is like thinking, I'm like, am I okay? Because I don't like whatever I thought thirty nine was supposed to feel like, it's not bad at all, Like it's it's truly about how you're you know, how you look at your life, and if you're looking at like at thirty nine, I'm going to be decrepit and you know, like I won't be spry anymore or something like that. I mean maybe, but like you know, if all things are are doing okay, just embrace it.

You'll be okay.

You'll be okay if you're in the NBA and the only thing you care about is how well you perform in the end. N then yes, I feel you. It's gonna get a lot harder. And the MVP Leb James. Yeah, shout out to the Lakers.

Yeah, shout out the Dodgers to just signed show he Tani, the boy is in heaven.

All right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back. We're back, and Alex Jones is back on Twitter. Baby, how many more?

How many more stones can they pile on our chest before we fully cave and we gotta leave? I mean, Alex, what it's just this is wild too, this because when he came back, everybody started sharing that Elon Musk tweet about how you would never reinstate him. And then here we are right back at it because again Elon Musk, I mean, not that we should be surprised, but it's just like hell site every day it's gonna be the It's like we're closely reaching the full on dictionary definition of hell.

Yeah he did. Elon Musk had tweeted or I guess wrote in a twenty twenty two blog posts he literally referenced his infants on Sid's death as one reason why he could never let Alex Jones back stating, my firstborn child died in my arms. I felt his last heartbeat. Have no mercy for anyone who would use the deaths of children for game, politics or fame.

Psych Yeah, I just did in that statement too. Whoops, you'll see that one come back around is kind of wild.

Yeah. Yeah, he did the Twitter poll. Seventy percent of the you know, people who hang on his every word and still pay attention to what he says or in bots, voted to bring history's worst nutraceutical pitchman back. Jones had been subjected to a permanent ban back in twenty eighteen. Uh and yeah, now he's saying, are we a platform that believes in freedom of speech? Or are we not? Adding shaw right shwing? Are these references not cool? Look at I'm gonna hurl.

Dude, it smells like mun.

Yeah, are we a platform that believes in freedom of speech?

Or are we not? They? In fact, we're not.

We're not. Yeah, they suspended hundreds of palestin any accounts. And yeah, you know, some people like the founder of the anti gun violence group Mom's Demand Action pointed out pre speech isn't the same thing as defamation like.

That, Yeah, right, right, right, right right, al.

Yeah, there's laws in place.

Yeah, there's I mean, like Alex Jones is so radioactive, like the fucking guy got banned from Pinterest.

That's what I mean.

I didn't realized interest.

Everything about his existence on the internet is radio act. Like of course, all the big fucking companies are like absolutely not, Like when LinkedIn and Pinterest are also like no, what the fuck you.

Can't do it on Pinterest?

Yes, sorry, not here, not here board you're.

Too spicy or whatever. Pinterest is a series of boards.

Yeah, well, I mean just yeah, you can sort of aggregate a bunch of little bits of media pictures.

Aggregation.

I use it just to look at bubble jackets in the summer and just long for the winter's embrace. But yeah, Twitter, I mean, somehow Twitter was the last one to not fucking take.

Yeah, I remember that, like back of the day that you know, he had been He had already been banned by YouTube, Facebook, Apple, Spotify, LinkedIn, Pinterest for violating various rules against harassmen and hate speech, and then Twitter was like the last hold out. They'd been like dragging their feet on banning him, and then eventually did and now and now he's.

Back, and all of it is never done like in the actual interest of like what the experience is like for the people using it or what the common good is. It's like, well, like a lot of people fuck with Alex Jones on Twitter, so if like we banned him, then.

Like that might hurt like our user base.

Yeah, they didn't want to alienate supporters who make up a substantial chunk of Twitter users. So Twitter's been trash, turns out.

But I know, it's just like it's like, yeah, it's like a like a terrible cooking ingredient. It's like, yeah, I mean, it's bad for you. He's like, but you can you can do good stuff with it too. They can kind of do good stuff with it, like you know, don't don't don't don't talk all kinds of shit about Crisco. Right, it does does help something taste good. Didn't tell me your favorite stuff. Actually it's verifiably terrible for you. But like, come on now, speaking of.

Trash, the US veto to ceasefire at the UN Security Council meeting. Yeah, basically so. Security Council General Antonio Uteras invoked Article ninety nine, which was a rare move that only happens when the Secretary General believes that a matter gravely threatens the maintenance of international peace and security forced to vote for a ceasefire in Gaza, and the US alone used their fucking veto power. Everybody else was in favor of it except the UK, who I guess the US have been like, come on, man, no, don't just we'll just we'll just don't show up. Let's just play hooky today, right right right right right, yeah, stand from voting.

It's just like it's just solf a man, another just fucked up cynical note in this whole thing, like you know, the reason behind it too, is so weak and so fucking embarrassing and humiliating and makes me just so fucking angry.

The Deputy Ambassador said.

That he like said he vetoed it because these are the reasons. He's like, there wasn't enough condemn Hamases in the document, yes sentence, yes exactly. It should have been called the Condemned Hamas Act. And also because the Security Council ignored his suggestions to add more like fucking sentences that were like giving the US like big en up the US for like getting involved, and also like not talking about like all of the like saying like horrific attack or like specific things that happened on October seventh. Like, so they basically got upset that they weren't allowed to propagandize the resolution itself, which again I don't think even if they did, they would have I don't think they would have voted for it. But I think it's better to use that as the excuse rather than like, oh, I'm sorry, we're like we're all systems go on, you know, just making it rain fucking bombs and shit over there.

Yeah.

This veto was soon followed by reports that Blinken had invoked emergency powers to bypass Congress and supply nearly fourteen thousand tank rounds to Israel.

Yeah, this is and again, like we'll talk about a dimension of this in a way on our episode, our Tuesday episode. But like, yeah, when you think that you can just go say, oh, we have to just destroy al Qaeda and it that's it, or we just have to get rid of Hamas and that's it, and not actually address any of the underlying things that are happening or understand that a power vacuum is created. Then what it's just so short sighted and like again we're watching the US do its thing, and also see how how weak the UN is, like when it's like trying to be like all right, this is an emergency, this threatens like global peace. Okay, the US out okay, never mind, right, never mind?

Yeah, all right, see that.

Yeah, that seems like it shouldn't be. We shouldn't have vetos for you know, international.

Yeah, but that's how they had to make that charter, you know what I mean? Yeah, then, because then the whole global South could just be like, aha, I guess what America. Yeah, we're coming for that ass for the ship that y'all did.

Yeah, all right, let's uh, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back. And I just keep thinking about that Mitchell and web sketch the weight. Are we the baddies? It's just like full on yeah, truly, like such thoroughly cowardly movie villain behavior, like nitpicking bullshit and the wording and demanding that it like say nice things about the US. Well, now, well they're trying to fucking save human lives.

What did it say? What did it say? We did? Did it say? We helped? M debatable debatable.

We have skulls on our hats. We were the only ones voting to keep killing, to not do a cease fire.

And the and the reason was because we had a reason really to say that, that's why it's bad.

We just turned it into our egos. Also, this this we kind of need this to be propaganda to with this.

Could you sweeten the pot in terms of like saying we're cool anyways? Uh? In other news, a big retail group retracted their startling claim about organized shoplifting.

You fucking losers, The National Retail Federation.

Remember we've looked, we've been on this shit.

Alec Carritt Santas has been putt just always constantly been sounding alarm as well as well as many others.

But Alec was definitely our endpoint to this about.

Being like, there's no fucking crime wave, you pieces of shit. There's no fucking like they're like organized shoplifting rings aren't bringing the aren't bringing corporations like Target and fucking Walgreens to their fucking knees. And so the National Retail Federation, which is the trade group who was always saying that, like who said nearly half of the industry's ninety four point five billion dollars in missing merchandise in twenty twenty one was the result of organized theft. They had to basically retract that because it was likely closer to five percent.

Oh, they just misplaced the decimal point. Dude, that happens to me all the time. That's no, I add a zero A wow, my five person they.

Said in like this the article of New York Times.

It's sort of going on through all the data and like the retraction it said.

Quote.

In fact, retail theft has been lower this year in most of the country than it was a few years ago, according to police data. Some exceptions, including New York City, exist, but in most major cities, shoplifting incidents have fallen seven percent since twenty nineteen.

It's not the version that I've been told.

Oh really, you don't say.

New York Times say anything about their role.

No, No, where is their retraction too.

Do they need did someone else need to maybe file a retraction?

Yah?

Yeah, But it's uh, you know, it's like one of those things too. All you need is you need enough sensational video clips of like black and brown people running through a store taking stuff, and then you can be like and this is why we need more draconian laws.

And you just get a handful of videos, a handful of examples, and then you just keep showing those over and over again. And that's what's sticks in people's brains.

Yeah, if you can conjure up like a video every four months, yeah you're good.

Yeah.

The power of the fucking media, for sure. I think that's also more so than like this retraction. I think maybe, I mean, maybe you guys need to.

Do a little soul searching, right, interesting, Yeah, it is also interesting, like why are they bothering to retract it? Yeah, well we'll see.

But I think because enough people were like the math ain't math.

In uh huh, So they just had to. They just felt the pressure to be like Okay, well, first of all, like you guys know, we're a lobbying group, right, we lie for a living. That's kind of our thing.

Yeah, it's just because this other outlet was like just completely poking holes in like how the fuck is that?

Even? Like it was truly like how is that possible?

Like we're looking at other data, like it doesn't square with anything we're seeing even from like the reports from these companies. But they did double down. They were, like they said, even though they retracted it.

No no, no.

After their retraction, wow, they said, quote, we stand behind the widely understood fact that organized retail crime is a serious problem impacting retailers of all sizes. At the same time, we recognize the challenges the retail industry and law enforcement have with gathering and analyzing an accurate and agreed upon set of data.

Mm hmmm, all right, Krispy Kreme Donuts? Have it invaded France? Despite the fact that Paris is just brimming with delicious pastry shops, there is now a Krispy Kreme in Paris and uh. To keep with the theme of this episode that marketing is evil and effective. They they like plastered the entire city with gorilla marketing like posters and shit like that, and it is wildly successful. When it opened last week, four hundred people lined up outside. Some have been there as early as ten pm the night before, which makes sense because the first ten people in line won a year's supply of free donuts.

That's like a thing that I'm honestly, I'm like, I don't know if I need a fucking year supply of fucking.

The year supply of free Krispy Cream donuts would be so bad for me.

Yeah yeah yeah, But also like it just stresses me out too, because like when donuts start getting stale, that's when I start eating more. Like I remember buying like a dozen Krispy Kremes to race against the clock. Yeah, and then like you have that one bite, you're like, oh shit, they're going, They're going, and you're fucking I gotta, I gotta just fucking stuff them now.

Yeah.

Not good, not good, not good.

I do feel like this is such a so squarely in the wheelhouse of like American capitalism and consumerism, Like it's I'm gonna keep my eye on this one because it feels people line up outside. I'm just like, did they work for the CIA? Did they? How did this? Like in the same way that that Saddam Hussein toppled statue was, you know, they showed that every two minutes on CNN, Like this is this is kind of like the peacetime version of that. It's like we won, Like this is the ultimate cultural victory. Krispy Kreme has taken over Paris. They think they're too good for us, but look, they love our shit. Yeah, can't get enough of it.

They're like, oh yeah, oh so I'm guessing your quason is not actually even comparable to the mighty circle that is the glazed donut.

Yeah, I mean I do get like, I feel like nobody's impervious to like these are different categories of human experience, you know, like a croissant made in Paris it's poetry. Yeah, it is poetry, whereas like a Krispy Kreme donut is pushing the scientific boundaries of sugar saturation.

Right right, you know how much still like it actually is it ceases to be bread and you're actually just eating granulated sugar.

Yeah, it's just yeah, it's just marketing mixed with you know the fact that they've been recruiting the greatest minds, uh coming out of you know, the greatest scientific institutions in the world to come work for fucking donuts.

Like how do you make that glaze just create such a dopamine response that people are going to line up for days? But I mean, you know, like it's if if the if the quaso.

Is poetry, then the what the donut is? Uh like a cool machine gun? Yeah? What it like? I don't I don't know.

I don't even know how to compare it, but I guess it is just one of those things too where we'll see how.

Lar it lasts, you know, like if it because it's like the thing anytime.

I remember when Krispy Creams were opening up like outside of their original like market, it was the same thing. Yeah, But I mean, I guess they must be doing well because it's not like it's like the Krispy I remember when there was like one that opened in Burbank and it was like a fucking mob scene.

Yeah, and but that was just that's it's still going strong.

I think, so maybe maybe we were introducing them to the power of a very sweet donuts.

Yeah. The the marketing that they did, by the way, was illegal, like they just uh plastered the entire city with posters, and the deputy mayor like was like, well, Krispy Kreme, you corporation that is publicly traded. I think, hmm, you should expect a pretty big fine coming. Yeah.

Guess what, buddy, that's forty euro per poster you put up. So yeah, that's coming out of your end.

Guy.

I just we need to stop with fines. Like that was the second like There was also a story on NPR this morning about how, you know, Trump is not testifying, but they were also going through his you know, just defiance of the gag order that was put on him, and they were like, despite multiple fines, it's just like fines, yeah, oh wow work for anyone? Who are the people who need whose behavior needs to be changed? And they're yeah, it's like classist and you know, discriminatory against people who are poor, Like, yeah, that's all.

Fines are unless there's like something to actually create like a tiered system of like what an individual is fine based on their income or whatever, or corporation like they have to be like devastating. But you know now they're just like little taxes now that people can collect, and.

Yeah, you know they take into account before they make the decision. They're like, okay, well, how many people could they possibly find us?

Okay, what could what possibly could a class action lawsuit be for the deaths?

What like ten people die?

Yeah, okay, one hundred million dollars. Oh yeah, then it's super profitable, Like I'd be not doing my job to not risk those ten people's last And then finally, the Golden Globes noms dropped Big News May December. Is a comedy. I don't know if people saw that one, but it is.

I haven't seen it.

That movie is about a woman who's gonna play like a Mary kay Laturno type character.

Yes, and it's selling mary Kayla Turner around to like research research, that's a comedy. That's a comedy, baby.

You know well, I mean I say that like as if I don't understand what's going on. They do that because the studio cynically put it. They they sent it for consideration as a comedy because they build the dramatic categories too congested. So that's why The Martian was one. It's just a dumb hack to try and get a fucking award. The Martian is fucking mel Brooks compared to The Spider.

I've seen them both.

Yeah, is there anything remotely comedic about it?

I mean it's like it's darkly like some of the takes could be seen as darkly comedic. It's like they have these super melodramatic musical cues that I think are like definitely ironic. It's it's a really good I thought, but in a way that is like tragic and that not Yeah, it's just definitely shines a light under some rocks. But yeah, it's just it's just a way to sneak nominees into a category that might be less competitive, but it also has to piss off like the filmmakers to be like, yeah, and Natalie Portman, your performance was.

Hilarious, Thank you so much.

Yeah, going up against the all the.

I studied a lot of vaudeville, you know, I really wanted to nail the subtleties of it.

Yeah. There's two new categories, one for uh stand up Performances, which seems to be an award for stand up comedians who put out specials that are like late in their career and below their normal standards. Yep, it's like just like, I guess the biggest names who put out specials this year, they didn't even give it to Like Mulaney didn't get nominated, nominated, but like Sarah Silverman, Chris Rock, uh, you know, all the big Yeah.

I don't look, I'm not I'm gonna cast aspersions here. I don't think the Hollywood Forum press is equipped to actually determine what is good stand up comedy. Yeah, yeah, you may have a bit of insight to it.

The other new category is one we've speculated in the past, or it feels like they're going for a thing that we've speculated the past, Like I suggest that having one category for best film and one category for best movie, right, and you know, maybe something could be both, but you know that that would be some of the conversations. But basically things that are like, you know, a great work of art versus things that are just like a good time at the movies successfully like executed. They seem to kind of do this. They called it a cinematic and box office achievement, but it it's weird. It just seems like they like, right now, it's just an industry award based on who donated the most, Like Guardians of the Galaxy Volume three is in there, john Wick WI chapter four. I don't know. I guess I saw John Wick Chapter four. I wasn't crazy about it. But some people seem to really like it, and some people really like Guardians of the Galaxy movies. But it just feels like I wish the emphastist was on the like cinematic achievement by a movie that did well at the box office sort of just like here's some movies that did well at the box office, because then it's clear why this exists.

Did you do one hundred million? Did you do at least one hundred million in domestic box office? Yeah, yeah, it's just the bar.

Yeah. Which it did allow them to throw a non to Taylor Swift, which will probably help with ratings.

Oh come so, Taylor, bring Travis. It's gonna be a fucking moment.

Yeah all right. Those are some of the things that are trending on this Monday morning and trended over the weekend. We are back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about supremacy. We will talk to you tomorrow.

Fight Fight, h

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