Desus Nice chats about the latest news, including Clarence Thomas not reporting a $250,000 forgiven loan on his tax returns and New York having one of the lowest bullying rates in the country, and Ronny Chieng chimes in on the list of worst first dates according to women. Desus then dives into the trend of billionaire franchise owners building stadiums that cost taxpayers lots of money, and for little benefit, in this week’s Long Story Short. Also, Grammy-nominated rapper D Smoke stops by to talk about his experience collaborating with his brother SiR on their latest single “Work Hard Play Hard,” how working as a public school teacher informed his new YA novel, and his advice for new artists.
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From New York City, the only city in America. It's the show, the Attention News, It's the Daily Shows, your host, the use your time.
Welcome to the Daily Show. My name is what Thank you.
Unfortunately it's my last night hosting. I know, I know, but it's been an awesome week. My biggest biggest disappointment is I wasn't able to mention the Bronx one hundred and forty four thousand times.
I was oking for war. So when last time? Be ut All day. Anyway, we've got.
A great show for you tonight, so let's get into some headlines. Let's kick things off with the Supreme Court justice who's accepted more gifts than'll make a wish kids, Clarence Thomas. So every day there's a new story about Thomas accepting lavish gifts from his rich ass friends and not reporting any of it. And now Thomas is in more hot water because someone bought him a jacuzzie.
I'm just kidding. It was RV.
Clarence Thomas has been an RV evangelist for decades, traveling the country in a forty foot luxury motor coach that he purchased in nineteen ninety nine after borrowing more than a quarter of a million dollars from a wealthy friend. But a new report from Democrats on the Senate Finance Committee alleges Thomas's friend forgave a substantial amount of that massive loan, and nine years later, his friend forgave all the debt. The IRS considers debt forgiveness as a form of income, but Thomas never reported it on his financial disclosure forms, a likely violation of federal ethics rules, and he never reported it on his tax returns, potentially owing money to the IRS the longtime friend, Anthony Welters, who loaned him that money. He is defending this arrangement, saying, quote, I loaned a friend money.
We've all been on one side of the other that equation.
No, we have nots. I've never had a friend just give me. I don't know two hundred fifty thousand dollars.
Hell, last week I bummed a cigarette from my guy Tommy.
He sent me a Venmo request. I do have a question for Clarence rich friend.
You want to hang some song? It's a n next game.
I've got courtside seats to be paid for them, but Lowki, I'm disappointed in Clarence. If you're going to take a bribe, it should be extravagant, like gold bars and diamonds.
This is depressing.
You been around abortion because you want someone else to let you drop a bus. Also, they said that driving RVs a Clarence thomas favorite thing in the world.
Look at my man face. This is what Clarence Thomas looks like when he's happy. I'm enjoying this.
Hurry all right, let's move on to an issue plaguing America schools, softness.
Data collected by the CDC finds roughly fourteen percent of public schools say they deal with instances of bullying every day or at least once a week, although it may be lower in New York schools. According to a new study, New York ranks thirty ninth out of forty eight states for bullying prevalence in schools.
Damn, New York's not even number one and bullying anymore.
We invented bullying. How do we get some staff?
Our state model used to be you, I'm gonna see your ass at three o'clock.
Yeah, yeah, my last night. Let's go. Let's go, And we need bullies.
Getting bullied motivates nervous to make billions of dollars.
That's it.
If Jeff Bezos had fun in high school, we still have to go to strip motorbi socks. And I know where some of you are going. This story's not funny. My kid got bullied. I mean I could see where they get it from.
Shit.
And finally, let's talk about dating, fellas. You got big plans this weekend taking a lady out on the first date. Guess what, No matter where you're going, it's already terrible.
A list of unacceptable places to take a woman on a first date is going viral on social media, and it's leaving men stumped on where else to go. On the list, cheesecake factory took number one, followed by the Olive Garden, Chipotle, and Chili's Great it ain't so, but other places mentioned include movies, the gym, coffee and ice cream dates, and a bar for drinks. Absurd clubs and Hukah lounges also made the list.
Wait, that's every place.
So you can't go to a bar, you can't go to a club, you can't inbut a girl over to my boy's house While the six of us watch a movie on a MacBook while sharing one blunt.
That's crazy.
Now, I don't know how scientific this list is. It kind of looks like he just wrote it in his notesap. Also, some of these are really specific, like a bar just for drinks, so Shorty's like, I'll also get the kalamari. The guy's like, Jeff drinks, So tell me more about your.
Yo.
From more on, the story goes lot to our senior dating correspondent, Ronnie Jay.
Left.
Ronnie, my god, help me out here. Where do women like going on the first date?
Jesus, I'm glad you asked.
Okay, if that's one thing I know, it's how to charm women with my sweet personality. First dates are easy. You just gotta keep expectations low. Take them here to the sparrows at the authorities.
God damn the port authority, at least one of the Grand.
Central dog No no, no, no, no.
Grand Central is a fancy clock.
Okay.
A first date can't have a fancy anything. If you take her to a fancy restaurant, she'd be like, oh wow, you must be able to pay rent. Believe me, you don't want that pressure, right, Just get her a cold slice of pizza next to a gobbigh ca and a pameasan shaker.
That's covid on it. Let her know where the bar is.
Lo, Okay, I see that's economical. No drinks, no meals? Are you paying for? Is a slice? Right?
No? No?
You idiot? You know listening?
All right?
If you buy her a slice, you're always gonna have to buy her a slice. And who am I the pepperoni king? Right on the first day, you show her what she's in for. That's why on my first date, I'm thirty minutes late. I zone out when she's talking and best time I start a secret family.
Yeah, okay, what want to go to Cbarros?
Okay, well then you meet at a five star restaurant. Then you walk her to the nearest Sbarros.
Okay, what if she's lactose intolerant.
Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Look, there's a bunch of options for bad first dates. Okay.
You could take her to a funeral. You can take her to the DMB, you could invite her to an argument with your ex. And if you really want to upset her, just take her to the Knicks game.
Seven got started? Why you sack everybody.
When we come back, I'll tell you you can't too much for thro stadiums. Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Growing up, I lived across the street from Yankee Stadium. I can hear the crowd. I can smell the glizzies, white people. Those are hot dogs. When Red Sox fans asked me for directions to the state, I point them straight to the projects.
It was beautiful. Then in two thousand and.
Nine, they built a new Yankee Stadium right next to the old one, and it looked basically the same. It was like Drake's last two albums. You couldn't tell them apart. But there was one huge difference, the cost to the public. The city handed over twenty acres of public parkland and a billion dollars of tax paper money. So the house that Ruth built really became the house that you and I built, well, most of you. I'm a softign sistant. I don't pay taxes, but this happens all the time. Just last year, New York gave the Buffalo Bills six hundred million dollars to build.
A new stadium. Six hundred million. That's almost as.
Much as NYPD spends to stop fifty thousand dollars worth of turnstile jumper.
So how does this happen?
Why are billionaire owners getting welfare to build stadiums? It's something I want to talk about in tonight's long story short all right, right now, We're in a sports stadium building boom, and just about every one of them is funded by taxpayers. So how are billionaire team owners able to get these sweetheart deals easy? When asking for taxpayer subsidies? Teams come to a community like a dude asking for open marriage.
Nah. Girls, not just good for me, it's good for you too.
Now they say these stadiums will spread economic growth throughout the community, construction jobs, restaurants, Taylor Swift, body doubles. Come on, now you think she's watching Travis kelcey and doing a show in Argentina.
An hour later? Nah, that math is not mathing. Come on, yeah.
Now, these owners also claim these stadiums will increase property values, which is one of the biggest lies in the world. What kind of cycle was like, Yeah, I want fifty thousand drunk idiots pissing on my.
Stoop every night.
No way, bro, If any drunk idiot is gonna piss on my stoop.
It's gonna be me. Next.
They promise to donate money to the community or build affordable housing, and if.
None of that works, they threaten to move the team.
And it usually works because even though using taxpayer money in stadiums is usually unpopular, losing the team could end the politician's career, like, for example, if Mayor Eric Adams lost us the Knicks, he would be deported all the way back to his real home in New Jersey. But the truth is a lot of the time those owners are bluffing, and we know that because they admit it.
David Samson, the former president of Marlin's largely credited with pulling off the worst stadium deal for Miami day taxpayers.
It's actually pretty easy playbook.
I get a lot of credit for doing the Marlins Park deal, but it really wasn't very difficult because Miami did not want to lose its baseball team, and all we had to say is that we're ready to leave Miami if we don't get a deal done.
Let me ask you, were the Marlins going to leave Miami? David truly absolutely not. See these guys are full of shit. They were never going to leave Miami, because no one ever leaves Miami. Even people who are just visiting don't leave Miami.
Not a cousin who went to a bachelor party six months ago. He's still in a club party with bbls.
So the teams get their free subsidies and now that they have their brand new stadium, that boost their value. But don't worry because in return, the city gets hundreds of millions of dollars worth of jackshit.
Economists who study stadium subsidies say little or none of the money makes it back to taxpayers.
One economist estimated that the contribution of a professional baseball team is similar to that of a mid sized department.
Store, as a university of shood.
Economists happtly put it, if you want to inject money into the local economy, it would be better to drop it from a helicopter than invest it in a new ballpark.
Wait, that's an option, yo.
I wish they'd dropped a giant bag of money in my neighborhood, like rest the peace of the person in lands On, But it'd be a payday for the rest of us. So the economic boostaate promise doesn't pan out, and I know that personally because I saw that in the Bronx. In exchange for that twenty acres of Parkland, the Yankees promise to donate forty million dollars to affected areas, but the media community has not seen a dime from the team, and more immediately, they're more importantly, we haven't seen a World Series in like twenty years, or like, if you want to screw my community out of forty million, fine, that's business, But me not getting a ring, that's personal. I mean, at the very least, these teams could toss out some more shirts during games, like how do you have twenty five thousand fans in the arena and only toss out ten T shirts?
And their all size excel do mediums costs more?
And also could we please get a T shirt cannon that could hit the three hundreds?
What the fuck.
Up?
Top? And the row uptid?
And the thing that really gets me heated, these stadiums aren't even that old. Stadiums for the Brakers and the Rangers last like twenty years before they built new ones. You can't be replacing a stadium that Leonardo DiCaprio was still hit.
I'm not going to be a tight haannic too.
Sorry, but you know what the worst part is how much this sucks for the fans because suddenly the team they've been rooting for their whole lives starts extorting them for a f fortune and all they can do about it is to go to the stadium and cuts out the owner, which is what they did in Oakland.
Check this out.
A's fans packing the Oakland Coliseum for the first time in what seems like forever to send a blunt message to the athletics Top brass a season best crowd of nearly twenty eight thousand A's fans came out to the coliseum for what was deemed a reverse boycott, which encouraged owner John Fisher to sell the team so it can remain in Oakland instead of moving to Las Vegas.
Tonight, the coliseum corrupted with one of a high.
Chance and cheers.
Thirty thousand people are going to show up tonight to show John Fisher.
That he sucks. How you do it?
Listen, I'm the East Coast boy to Oakland, paying twenty dollars to cuts out the man you've never met is big New York Energy. Respect But long story short. Politicians got to stop falling for the stadium, Griff. If we're getting ripped off by team owners, it should be the old way with fourteen.
Dollars bud lights. All right. When we come back, D Smoke will be joining me on the show. Don't go away you welcome back to the Daily Show.
My guest tonight is a Grammy nominated rapper whose latest single is called Work Hard, Play Hard.
Please welcome to Homie. D Smoke.
That's that brother brother that has gone amazing amazing.
Man, Yeah, you no good?
So you still teach Spanish and music theory in Inglewood High School?
I did well.
I taught Spanish at Inglewood High School. Ok, Ultimately I ended up teaching music theory.
And then you have to show the Netflix show Rhythm and Flow absolutely and you are I did okay? Any of your students come back like yo, I coudn't even know. I didn't even know you could split like that. Man.
I run into my students everywhere, because if you think I talked for over like seven years and stuff and so and you and each each year you have anywhere from one hundred to like two hundred students, and.
So they're all over the world.
They're adults now, and so you run run into them ow hiking trails and they're like, wow.
Mister Ferris. It was like you was a good teacher, but you're a better rapper. I'm like, I don't know what that means. Also, if your students are on hiking trails, you're a good teacher. Hey, you know what I'm saying.
You know the processing reason?
All right, we just did a segment about bullying schools and they actually said California is number one for bullying while you were teacher. Who is worse in bullion? High schoolers or rappers?
I'm gonna have to say high schoolers easily. High schoolers they're no man, They're they're heartless sometimes, you know, And and I think that the teachers sometimes are easy targets.
You know.
They're like, oh, you have a job to protect and all this, so they're just they'll shoot at the teacher. And sometimes you just got to take the teacher hat off and be like, man, that's why your mama no, you know, you know, you know what it's crazy because when you when you when you take off the cool hat and you shoot back at the students, then they're like, Okay, he's not playing.
They just let me respect them. Their biggest fear is the fear.
Of being embarrassed, so you you might have to pick at at one time, you know, and not of course not overboard, but let them know that you you're there, you in the moment, you know, you got you.
So your family's in the business musical family. Your brother is sir, My brother is sir. Okay, are you familiar?
Yeah?
How does that work? Having a family member also entertainment? Like like if you want you on a remix, and she's like, so, brother, you go through the agency.
So no, we go direct, We go direct, but after the music is done, it's still got to go through like the proper channels. But you know, there's a lot of respect there because we're not a group. You know, we're our own artists and and we just admire each other so much that we choose the right moments to put out songs. And that's where this single came about. It's like, is the time And we both looked at each other, it's like, yes, time.
Work hard play hard work hard play. Your brother you're working on ya novel?
Yeah?
Young yeah man.
There's so many acronyms in my head, and I'm like, why you know, jo, I used to work on library.
So I'm being like a wild nerd right now.
Because I'm like, y, don't they call juvenile hall Ya?
I don't know, but wow, that's a I went to ya for three years and it was hard.
But shout out to you because you know, like, as a black man writing a white a novel, you feel like you have more teaching to do.
You have more Absolutely you.
Absolutely, I'm an educator by trade, I'm an educator at heart, but I'm also critical of the education system.
I won't go into it.
It's just, you know, it's not necessarily the best circumstances under which to reach people, you know, like you have to do certain things, you know, Whereas the things that really impacted me the most, there are certain books that changed my life, one of which was The Alchemist, you know. And for me, i'd like to believe I've written The Hood Alchemist, you know, and so.
Yeah, so I'm super.
Proud of that. Gotcha.
And now, in this current musical environment, what advice could you give a new artist if they're really trying to stand out? Because assuming new artists out there.
Absolutely, I mean I always tell artists two things. I tell them, extend a runway, right, give yourself more time than people tend to. Everybody's trying to hit home runs.
Right.
Everybody wants to blow up. But if you grow up, nobody can take from you what you built.
Right.
If you blow up, it can happen. Then you're trying to figure out where you're.
At, you know, so stein the runway, grow up, be consistent.
What changed my life is what got me on Rhythm and Flow is that I was putting something out once a week consistently with a visual.
So I'm talking about it.
If it took me putting a tripod down and filming it myself and the editing it every Friday, you was gonna get a new piece of content. And I knew what my creative advantage was. I spoke Spanish. I was just I'm not gonna wear I was a black man from Inglewood speaking Spanish.
You got you, gotcha, gotcha?
And I knew people hadn't seen that, so I'm like, let's demonstrate that and mix it with some of the contents, some of the message, and do it once a week. And then we started getting the phone calls. So a lot of people think, oh, rhythm and flow puts you on Like no, they called us, you know what I'm saying, to be a part of that.
So gotch So thank you for coming through.
Work Hard play Hard is available now we want to take a quick bread right back after this.
My God, you.
Float yo.
Yo.
That's our show for tonight.
From the bottom of heart, I want to thank the Daily Show staff for making a childha dacome too. The state sold for next week when your guest host would be Charlemagne the God.
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