The Sean Hannity Files

Published Sep 27, 2023, 7:00 AM

Sean Hannity: Fox News host, infamous hypocrite and Trump’s pillow talk buddy. Jon Stewart takes a look at the Hate Hannity Hotline, and is forced to watch Sean Hannity's entire show before hearing an apology. Trevor unpacks the time Sean Hannity was outed as Michael Cohen's secret client and the report that President Trump and Sean Hannity talk on the phone before bedtime every night, creating a disruptive "feedback loop" in the process.

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On Tuesday night, we did a little bit about Sean Hannity's program, or, to call it by its official name, the greatest program that has ever given to a people by God. It concerned the super Bowl of Freedom that Michelle Bachman sponsored on Capitol Hill. On Shawn's show, mister Hannity and Ms Bachman discussed her rally, and for no apparent reason, then started showing images of Glenn Beck's much better attended nine to twelve rally, not acknowledging that the footage was different, but in fact commenting on how robust the crowd was, even though Bachman's rally took place on a sunny day and fall, and this rally appeared to take place on a cloudy day in summer. So we thought that that was funny because we finally had a literal manifestation of what we feel is the metaphorical methodology of the entire Fox Network, which of course is the subtle altering of reality to sell a preconceived narrative which I imagine, which I imagine Fox decided was not as CATCHI a moato.

So now we received the word.

I have chiggers, So we received a word that mister Hannity was going to address this issue on his program last night. So, as you can imagine, I rushed home from my seminar in soybean composting with my Angelou, which we do at my food co op, which is run out of the back of my local gay bar. So I ran home and I turned the video camera on myself to immortalize the look on my face if and when Sewn Hannity spoke about this error. And as you can imagine, I prayed desperately that he would do it early in his life program.

But it's starting, and there were new details today about the erratic behavior of major Nadalja Song. Joining me now is the host of War Stories, Colonel Oliver North.

Who is It's that guy who was convicted of a felony against the United States.

What do you make of the fact the President of the United States can't even say that this is an act of terrorism.

What we ought to be calling it is just that terrorism, all right? Right, we have the FBI.

Because it's not that simple. But okay, okay.

You've had Bob Hamer, who investigated Nambler.

You know it was not politically correct to call namblo what it was until Bob Hamer did that investigation. The whole country was pro namblo until Hamer is expos enamblo.

We all love Nambler.

And it took the FBI a year to declare that to be terrorism. And now you've got the.

We knew all of this, including the email communications, for about a year.

Wait, they knew a year ago.

His colleagues raised red flaggs about.

Bush was president a year ago, wasn't which president should be blamed?

The FBI has a relationship with groups associated with the Muslim brotherhood, a.

Radical jihadism that is out to undo.

What we are as a people disconnected, paranoid, schizoid and even belligerent.

Massive shortages of H one vaccine. This is a public health disaster the government didn't produce enough of it.

Is this the same government that now has the capacity to take over health care. Meanwhile children have there are some parents that don't want to vaccinate their kids, which, by the way, everything the government touches is bankrupt.

He was citing Kuranic chapter and verse for jihad.

He was warning against what he called so called adverse events.

Radical Islam and Islam.

Well, hobby lobbyists, radical jihadism.

Muslim soldiers gone wild. This is the biggest tea party I've ever seen.

Finally tonight, although it pains me to say this, John Stewart, Comedy Central, he was right.

We screwed up.

It was an inadvertent mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.

So mister Stewart, you were write. We apologize.

It wasn't worth it, not obviously, I think, Hichid says I, he didn't have to apologize to me. It's not like you disappointed me.

I expect that stuff.

But I do want to address one thing that mister Hannity graciously said last night.

We apologize.

But by the way, I want to thank you and all your writers for watching.

Okay, it wasn't actually me or my writers who watched your show and caught that slip up. Was actually one of our younger producers, a kid right out of school named Ramin Hediyatti, and we're very proud of him, and I just wanted to give him the credit for catching that. Ramin come on out here and take a bow, will you, ladies and gentlemen. Ramin HEADI yadi uh.

He's the one who thought that on there.

And uh, we're delighted.

That he did it.

We mean, thanks for being here, reman. Obviously you haven't been here that long. When did you graduate from.

College last June?

Right?

And that makes you you're you're twenty three years old. I will be twenty three next month. Great.

Uh, now you've been watching Hannity for us every night now for five months. Yeah, well we we appreciate you taking the time to do.

That for us. It's a great catch. And uh, kill me. I'm I'm sorry, kill me. We'min.

I'm sorry, but this is this is your job, and it's a tough job and we appreciate it.

And be a man and.

Get me out of here.

Raman heady outa everybody, thank you so much, so we won't think.

I'll be right back. I don't know for me. Welcome back to the program.

I watch a lot of TV, you know. At the start of the year Fox News is Sean Hannity said goodbye to his partner Alan Colmes, and America wondered who would then be there to provide the liberal perspective for that program? Could it be I don't know you.

Time now for the Hate Hannity Hotline, where we give those of you out there who may not see things my way a chance to vent a little.

Well, let's see what we've got tonight. You are extremely critical whenever it comes to the Democrats, but you never see the problems in your party. Hey, monkey boy, what a damn hypocrite? What do you think? Damn Roberto Gonzraals, Paddy, you.

Are an Eddian?

Okay, two things, One what an incredibly representative sampling of the liberal perspective? And two I think your hate meter is broken. The meter registered the same for the guy who was disappointed with your level of introspection as it did for the guy who called you a sucker.

You should fix that.

So a lot of angry people calling in. Why would Sean Hannity subject himself to that kind of you?

First of all, I love the hatred.

Oh my god, Hannity's a bottom. But there's gotta be more going on here.

Let's go back to the tape. Let's go back to the folks.

Mother you Workles, I hate you, you know, I hate you. You know Sean Hannity, you might not hippocrite of the century.

To Hannity and this message.

All right, now, we do this as a public service.

It's cathartic. Yes, it's cathartic.

It can be so therapeutic to publicly ridicule those whose view as you find repugnant when they are in no way able to respond. But I like the twist that you put on it, goading imbalanced viewers to call in hand picking the krim Dela crazy and then basically saying that people who disagree with you are either insane or the jerky boys.

So it's a good bit, uh, though.

There was one call that surprised me.

Sean, this is doctor Marcus.

I just want to remind you we have a session tomorrow and I hate you. I hate you in your stupid face. I don't care about doccupation, confidenciality. I tell everyone what a dumb you are. So tomorrow at three point thirty, see.

Then you gotta scream. We'll be right back.

Yesterday, everyone on Fox and Just was flailing like Mariah carry on New Year's Eve. Everyone, well, everyone except for one man, SpongeBob Squarehead.

Imagine if the President today brought up the Second Amendment, how would the news media in this country have reacted. There were a lot of people that raced the media leader. Let's talk about guns. I've always been a believer that you got to prepare to defend yourself.

And I had gun permits.

In New York and Rhode Island, in California and Alabama and Georgia in my life. And I was trained in the use of a firearm by my parents that had connections to law enforcement.

What does that mean? I was trained in the use of a firearm by my parents that had connections to law enforcements. The world doesn't work like that. Like if someone's sick on a plane, no one screams. Does anyone have a cousin who watched grazing out of me? Anyone? But according to Sean Hannity, what really stops a bad guy with a gun is a Sean Hannity with a gun.

This guy's got a machine gun. Okay, how are they going to take a mom without a weapon? Or if it's happening within a crowd, if you're in Sam Bernardino, do you want Sean Hannity, who's trained in the safety and use of a firearm in that room.

So when they.

Dropped the clip and they start to reload, you got a shot.

You got a chance.

Okay, Sean, you answered your own question. The shooter was four hundred yards away in a hotel room thirty two floors up. But you're like, yeah, but if he was down on the ground and close to me and was out of bullets, then I might have a chance to shoot him down.

That's like saying if Tyra Banks.

Had no money and I had all the money and she was like really hungry, I might have a chance.

It's not reality.

Hannedy's fantasy was so ridiculous that even his Fox colleague couldn't get on board.

Do you want, Sean Hannity, who's trained in the safety and use of a firearm in that room when they dropped the clip and they start to reload, you got a shot and you got a chance.

Yeah.

I would never done much good on the Mandoli thirty second floor unless.

He had a high power rifle to take him out.

But your point is well taken.

Yeah yeah, yeah, Sean, you made absolutely no sense, But your point is well taken. Yeah yeah, yeah. You know she's thinking, Dude, you couldn't even protect women from being sexually harassed in your own building, and now your batman, Calm down, Calm down, man, calm down.

Come down, calmed.

Down, like I'm not gonna lie. He may seem crazy, but after watching that, I wish Sean Hannity would start his own security service.

In a dangerous world, if you need protection, then you need Sean.

Hannedy's private security Services.

Sean Hannity is trained in kicking hands, throwing footballs indoors, and wearing his hat backwards. So when the crap hits the fan, Hannedy's your man.

Do you want Sean Hannity, who's trained in the safety and use.

Of a firearm in that room?

When they drop the clip and they start to reload, you got a shot.

You got a chance.

If you're threatened by a shooter who is in the room and has run out of bullets, then you've got a chance. Sean Hannity's Private Security Services total protection in very specific circumstances.

Pull me right back.

It came out last week that Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, who is now in deep federal investigation shit, only had three clients in the past year, right the President, who Cohen helped to pay off a porn star, that he had an affair with his second client, a major GOP fundraiser, named Elliot Broydy, who Cohen also helped to pay off for playmates that he had an affair with. All right, and then Michael Cohen had one more clients. Right out of seven billion people, seven billion people who could have wanted to join this club and use Michael Cohen as a lawyer last year, only one other person did. And this person's identity was a complete mystery until today.

This is CNN breaking news.

We are now getting word the lawyer for the President, Michael Cohen, has just iss closed in court that the client who had requested to remain unnamed was Sean Hannity of Fox News.

Yeah, it turns out Michael Cohen's secret clients or Sean Hannity, which I'm sorry is not a good look, you know.

Right now, Sean Handedy is probably on the phone with his wife, like, hey, honey, it's so weird. How I use the guy who pays off mistresses to get me out of that parking ticket. Ah, it's funny, right, Hello, Hello, Hello.

Just think about how unethical this is for a moment, right. Hannah t has been reporting on this Michael Comb story from the beginning, from the beginning, but he conveniently never mentioned that Cohen was his guy, which even for Sean Hannity is pretty shady. I mean, even Instagram models have higher ethical standards because they'll be like drink Tommy Tea.

By the way, I'm sponsored by Tommy Tea. They tell you what it is, right.

And I'm not expecting him to aspire to the levels of the Kardashians.

But come on, Sean, and I'll tell you what else. I'll see you what else.

Once you know that Hannity has personal s skin in the game, like with Cohen, it's fun to go back and look at everything he said about the FBI raid because now we can see that hannit'sy wasn't just mad, he was scared.

President Trump's longtime personal attorney, Michael Cohene, just had his office, his home, and his hotel that he was staying in raided by the FBI.

Today, this is an unprecedented abusive power.

Cohen's payment is a perfectly legitimate business move. Mueller's witch hunt investigation is now a runaway train careening off the track, spinning out of control.

If you voted for Donald Trump.

You better get buckled up because this is going to be a rough ride.

You know now that we know he was working with Cohen, that looks less like a news show and more like a guy really stressed giving himself a pep talk. It's just like, come on, we gotta get buckled up. This is going to be a rough ride.

Ha ah.

And obviously everyone thought that Hannity being busted was hilarious. I mean, other news networks were laughing late night hosts, school children, creatures of the Sea. And in a year that's so divisive embarrassing, Sean Hannity is the one thing truly everyone can enjoy.

Goodnight from Washington.

No one else is talking about Sean Hannity today, but he's here.

I'm really glad to see him. Hey, shredy news. Anything happening, all right, thanks Tucking. I'm just say this.

You like my brother, but I'm glad for It's like a millisecond, the heat's off me and on you.

Okay, So I appreciate that.

You know, it says a lot about your news network when all of your top anchors are playing scandal tag.

It's like I made fun of the Parkland kids tag.

You're ith no, thank god now, even though even though yesterday might have sucked for Hannity. It helps his ratings because everyone tuned in to see what creative excuse he'd come up with to explain his Michael Cohen relationship, and the answer was, it's complicated.

Let me set the record straight. Here's the truth.

Michael Cole never represented me in any legal matter. I never retained his services. I never received it invoice. I never paid Michael Cone for legal fees. I did have occasional brief conversations with Michael Cohne. He's a great attorney about legal questions I had or I was looking for input and perspective.

He wasn't your lawyer. He just answered your legal questions. How do you not know the definition of lawyer? When your head is shaped like a dictionary?

How do you not know this?

Seriously, giving legal inputs and perspective.

Is exactly what a lawyer does.

Handed he might as well have come out and said he was just my lawyer. But just the tip, Just the tip, guys, just a tip. Now, what people are ready wondering, is this whatever legal advice was, why didn't Hannity get it from his regular attorney, right instead of turning to a guy who's specifically known for paying off mistresses. Why did he go to him? But according to Hannisy Baby, this is not what it looks like.

To be absolutely clear, they never involved any matter any Sorry to disappoint so many matter between me or third party.

Of third groups at all.

And are my questions exclusively almost focused on real estate?

Wow?

Helready slipped in the almost did you hear it?

It was super quick, It was super quick.

Here's like all my questions to Michael Cohen were exclusively almost real estate, exclusively almost exclusively almost.

Yeah.

He sounds like the voice at the end of those medical ads xerenaxs. Exclusively almost had to fit free, exclusively almost. You can't say exclusively almost exclusively almost is the kind of phrase that makes people ask more questions. If someone tells you that they exclusively almost have sex with adults, you're not.

Hiring them to babies at your kids. That's not what you're thinking of right now.

But okay, fine, okay fine. Handedy claims he was just getting some informal real estate advice from Michael Cohen, which makes what he said a few hours earlier on his radio show all the more confusing.

I never gave him a retainer, never received an invoice, never paid any any fees.

You know, I might have handed him ten bucks.

I definitely want you attorney client privilege on this something like that.

Okay, okay, okay, well no, no, okay, wait, so he's not your lawyer.

Well you had was a few chit chats about real.

Estate, but you definitely want attorney client privilege. Yeah, you definitely want that.

Did you bury under that house?

No, I'm just saying I've had a lot of conversations about real estate. At the end of it, I never went this never happened. And you know what gets me is is how casually Hannity is trying to minimize his connection to Michael Cohen like it means nothing, especially when every other day of the year he's the guy who can bake a conspiracy cake out of nothing more than an egg and the word Hillary.

Let's talk about a family responsible for actual crimes. We'll call it the head of the notorious political cabal. Of course, Bill and Hillary Clinton, the Clinton crime family. If we're gonna go to crime families, let's look at the Muller crime family. And well, this is near and dear to Komy's heart. We'll call it the Komy crime family.

How Hannity puts a question mark at the end of each one just to cover his ass. He's like, I didn't say Malla runs a crime family. I just said Malla runs a crime family. Well, you know what, folks, I have a theory of my own, and I honestly think that it's gonna bust this whole Hannity Michael Cohen's story wide open. Get ready to have your minds blown, because I believe I've uncovered a complex criminal network. My theory is that Sean Hannity is a client of Michael Cohen.

Look, we may.

Never know the true nature of Hannity and Cohen's relationship, but what we do know is that as someone is discussing Cohen and his case on the air, Shon Handy should have been more transparent, right, he should have said something about it. In fact, what had he did was so shady even when he tried to talk about other things on his show, his own guests had to call him out. And please do.

Enjoy a foreign national using Russian sources of all things to get it?

Is that a crime? In Alan Dershowitz's book.

Well, first of all, Sean, I do want to say that. I really think that you should have disclosed your relationship with Cohen when you talked about him on this show. I think it would have been much much better had you disclosed that relationship.

You were difficult the nature of it, Professor Allan to deal with this later.

Understand it was minimal. I understanding that you.

Should have said that, and that would have been fair to say that it was minimal. You had the right, by the way not to identity.

I have the right of privacy right.

But you know, it's a complex situation when.

You speak with I think it was such a minor relationship in terms you should have said had to you.

Should have said that.

You should have said that. You should have said that that was priceless. And keep in mind this guy Alan Dershowitz. He isn't a hater, right, He's been a vocal defender of President Trump and a frequent guest on Handy show. That's how you know that this is bad for Handy. He's getting called out by someone on his own team.

You know what this reminded me of.

It's it reminded me of that one deleted scene from Star Wars when the Stormtroopers called out their boss now we.

Can finally destroy the rebels. Sure, real quick. We all think you should have disclosed your relationship with Luke Skywalker.

What.

I barely know the guy. He's not even my son. It's more like a baby mama thing. Sir, sir, you should have told us this isn't a big deal. I have a right to privacy. It wasn't a big deal. Why didn't he tell.

Us want a dick?

Yeah, that's true.

That scene exclusively almost from Star Wars.

We'll be right back.

In other news, we're learning things about what President Trump does before bed at night, and it's even worse than you think.

This week's New York magazine reports that Trump and the Fox News host Sean Hannity speak on the phone most weeknights. The report also quotes a former White House official who says Hannity and Fox create a feedback loop that puts Trump in a quote weird headspace, adding quote what ends up happening is Judge Janine Piro or Hannity fill them up with a bunch of crazy explative and everyone on staff has to go and knock down all the expletive fires they started.

Okay, okay, you have to admit It's cute that these two talk before bed every night. Yeah, they're like eight year old Treehouse buddies with those cans on strings, you know, gussiping about which girls they secretly paid off, you know, or whether it's Yanny or Laurel. It's Laurel, by the way.

But that feedback loop part is really weird for me.

Right, they're saying that President Trump says something outlandish to Hannity on the phone, Handy then repeats it on TV, and then Trump watches that and goes, you see.

Exactly, That's what I was saying.

Trump is like that gorilla getting riled up on what he's doing in the mirror.

He's like, you see what he did? And here's my favorite part of the story.

White House staff know that the calls happen thanks to the President entering a room and announcing I just hung up with Hannity or even ringing Hannity up from his desk in their presence. How are you both the president and the stuff? How like no other world leader does that? You realize it Putin's never talking to his assistant, like not the big deal, But I was it partly with actor who plays Sheldon on Big bang yeah yeah, ill old Muskin Grimes their thoat just saying yeah yeah.

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