The Daily Show: Ears EditionTDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2
Jon Stewart sits down for a chat with some of the best in the comedy world: Larry David, Tina Fey, and Adam Sandler.
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Look at that. It's it's it's very humbling.
Who's the Who's the worst guest you ever had on this show? The worst, the worst, the absolute worst guest, Because I really I want to give him a run for their money tonight.
Do you think you can do that?
I think I could try out some bad guests. Yeah, I really think I'm up to it.
Bishop Desmond Tutu really drunk off his ass.
Wow, you know it was you know it was not good.
Democratic Senate leader Harry Reid. We had him on the show, uh and he was like in.
A coma, the feelin it was so weird. He do you have you familiar with him?
I know I know who the majority leader is.
Yes, if only you'd been in Times Square for us. He'd written a book about his life.
I was asking about his life, and it was literally as though I was telling him a story he'd.
Never heard before. Look look at the house you grew up in.
And he was like, well, I'm from Brooklyn. Are you from Brooklyn? Yes?
Are you from.
No.
I was just telling you about my life. I remember my life. Yeah, you do remember your life from Brooklyn. I could be worse than Harry Reid. We'll see.
I don't think you're gonna be worse than Harry. Already I'm having a much better time.
Is that right?
Already? Good? How are you doing otherwise?
Are you you'd like.
To be the worst?
Guess?
First of all, Curry enthusiasm is a great show.
And now, why why do you mind if I lean back? Is that about it?
It doesn't bother me at all?
How about you feel about up over here?
I don't mind?
Is that a problem?
It's it's not very sturdy.
Are you jealous? And I'm not wearing a tie?
I am somewhat jealous that you seem very fit. You almost seem athletic. You see, you have like an athletic build to some extent.
You can I tell you something please.
People are a little surprised by my athleticism when they see it when I demonstrate it.
For example, if.
We were playing basketball, got it like that, you wouldn't know what to do.
You'd be styning.
I'd go around you so fast, you go, Jeeth, Larry David, you can play basketball.
Let me tell you why I would have been stymied if you had done that?
Yeah, because I don't know I don't play with the ball that small you were.
Doing the gesture you were working with, Yes, you'd.
Be playing with the field pone ball, and I would be I would be stupefied.
So you feel if I went like that?
Yes, now I feel we're playing that.
That's hard to mind though, because your hand's.
Going it's got no definite space. But please put your feet up, foot up.
No one has, that is, if you hadn't done this before, no one, no one has put their foot up.
Can I tell you something, Yes, I'm a little concerned that I don't have the right sock length to do it.
I'm gonna try, and I want to. Well just let's let's look at the sock light, because we follow the socks. Also, it's a beige.
But the thing is, you can't show any skin at all on you know ever in life, right when you cross your legs on a man cors you can't do that. Let's see, I got the sock length. Yeah, yeah, I've got the sock link. Yeah, you're very you.
Know what I'm saying that you are if I may, Yes, that is.
Athletic aristocratic to some extent.
I see you have a swede shoe a Swede sneaker.
Okay, that's very very job wardjum, I didn't pick it up.
Is that true?
Yes? Wardrobe?
Yeah, everything I'm wearing is wardrobe I stole.
In your life? You have a person that no, I steal it from the show. Yeah, they buy it and I take it home. Would you wear this this war job war job underwear I got, I got the underwear.
Would you have them do the underwear? Is that another?
Is that stepping up your relationship with wardrobe to a more intimate place to say to them, you know I enjoy.
Uh Yeah, I could go Haynes thirty four.
I just kind of subtle. I could say that, yes, I haven't.
Done giving your druthers. Is this the outfit that you would or do you feel? Are you costumed? Do you feel or or in life?
Is this your shoke? Are these your show clothes?
And right after this you're like, oh, I can't wait to get this pull over off so I can put on my tuxedo.
What what's your What would you do?
I walk out of the house with this and I'll wear it all day. Yeah, you'll stay with it, I'll stay with it.
You won't get a grass staying in the yard or anything.
John, this is me. You're talking to me, but you know something, I'm not talking to you. What I'm not talking to you? But that's not how you drive.
You're right?
This is you know what this is?
Yeah, this is I run a funeral parlor at night, and so I always dressed that because when you see the families and they're obviously greeting, and you don't want to show up obviously looking like a bonbie ball.
Can I can I do something that was only a friend.
Would please your calls up a little?
Is that true?
Yeah?
Yeah, they were telling me that early.
Yes, and it's yeah.
You know what that is.
If I may say you run away collar, no disrespect you.
It's just a signal I send to my children every night. Let them know. I say, I say, kids, watch your daddy.
And if you see I'm going to take one aspect of my clothing that is so sweet and.
I'm gonna roll it up. Carl Bernette had this, Yes, I know I have. I have this.
I don't know what it.
Is about talking to you, but I would like a piece of cake right now. I don't know what it is. I honestly feel like passed over is over, and now we're gonna have a piece of game.
Bring it up, Come on, that's not.
I remember. You know Saturday Night Live is grueling.
Yeah, you hosted, You were great on the show.
I was tremendous. Nobody I was so good. They said, don't come back.
You would shame the other hosts. But you know, it's I don't know if people realize the difficult that you guys are putting on a ninety minute play.
Yeah, that's a long show every week, and it was crazy to see just the sets and the makeup and the costumes and the writing and just how much had to come together. Yeah, technically, and the crew never messes up. They never accidentally put up the hooker set for the President's sketch.
Is that the error that everyone's trying to avoid.
Nobody ever enters the Oval Office in a Hamburger up. They always get it right.
Hamburger outfit in Oval Office done.
I'm submitting it.
You know what's so funny?
When I was doing Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon, we started and then and you were doing this and all this pressing, all this heals like so popular and exploding. There'd be all these press things that said like John Stewart America's best fake news anchor, and I was like, I'm kind of the only other fake news anchor because Jimmie's like a sketch comedian and Colbert wasn't doing his thing, and I was like, dig dig America.
He's kind of a two man horse race at that point.
But now you've got Colbert nipping out our heels, and I'll tell you what I've seen that kid, He's the future of fake news.
That's that's what I'm thinking.
When I was at Second City, I was at Second City in Chicago back in the day, and when I first got there, I was a student and Colbert and Steve Carell were on the main stage and we used to go watch them all the time. And one of the two, I will not say which one, was a notorious ladies man.
Can I guess?
Okay, but I'm not gonna but let me guess neither was it. One of the two was very popular with you.
Here's what I believe. I believe both could be flirtatious. I believe Colbert could seal the deal.
I'm not gonna say. I can't say.
I believe at the end of the day, Carol would say this, God, I don't want to go to Benegan's. Colbert would be there with you, exactly with the harpsichord.
You bet I got and I just I came out here. I want to remember three things to tell you.
Tell me.
I can't remember.
I can't remember any of it.
I got none. I got none.
How are you? I'm doing very well?
How is the corduroy seems thick? It seems thick for this?
Uh.
I had corduroy pants on too, and somebody said, don't wear corduroy O on corduroy, so I switched it up.
This is a whole new thing.
My wife has been going out and getting me new clothes because I look back at my old thing. You know, I've been on television a long time and I've been wearing the same clothes literally on every show. So she went out and got me this Cortroy shirt, this other flannel one, and a T shirt.
But see, I would and.
Again this is nothing against the wife, But that is not that.
That's not a shirt you're you're wearing.
That is clearly some sort of coat shirt hybrid.
That's not This is.
In new York because I was going on she was being nice, and that new I was gonna be cold. Also, I don't try on things. I refuse to try on things, so like when I go to the store, she goes, hey, you want to and I just just get it and then it's either too big or too tight. But I have to wear it anyways, because.
Now it does seem like underneath the new an older shirt, shirt, jacket or shacket.
But that's why I had.
A button to cover the oldness, to show the wife respect.
That's the key to happy marriage. It's those types of compromises. Thank you At what point in that because I've been we've been my private on the same amount.
How long you been married, I've been with I've been wear the same girl fourteen and married about seven or eight.
But oh, very similar. So I've been in my w for about fifteen years for ten uh huh and uh uh. I am just getting to the point where I don't have to change my outfits.
This is a new thing. She was cool about it in the beginning and then started realizing, you know, she dresses nice, and I have the two daughters who yell at me for I dress a nice So that it became like a factor in the house. When I would come downstairs in the morning and and all three of them would say, please don't. Then I said, all right, oh, get me some new stuff.
You know, you know what I get in the house, And this is new as well, Daddy.
I don't like the way you smell.
That's it's not you, that's that's their nose is stronger at that age. But yeah, no, no, no, my uh my kid, my kid. H if I if she'll say, brush your teeth a little better, brush your teeth a little better, and maybe I'll kiss you.
That's nice though, that's it, and also can turn for your help because plack one of the bacteria one of the leading causes of all kinds of distress they're finding these days. Absolutely so, I very much. I appreciate that. That's that's nice for her to do that. She loves her dead, you say, she, But only one loves.
The dead, the other because you said there's three.
The other one is young enough to get past the stench and get right in there and start kissing me. It's not a five year old that just goes this is really horrific what I'm smelling right now.
I appreciate though the use of the vocabulary. Horrific and that was a giant.
That was a giant for the sand Man.
Oh is that true?
Horrific was as good as it gets horrific, And metamorphosis is a nice one.
That is a nice one. That's all I got.
Are you gonna stick around and watch the Jet?
I know you, big Jeff. Are you gonna stay around.
And watch you?
I would like to see that.
My kids want me to get back to LA. They demanded, I come home. I said, it's one extra day. If I could see the Jets Pats game, you can watch it on television. They said, So I'm gonna go home.
And when was the last time you made a decision? That's a good one, got it? I mean, I mean you're wrapped in corduroy. You can't watch for like you're like a Shelley yourself. I mean, you're like a microwaveable burrito in that thing.
Here's what happens.
Like kids fall asleep, maybe nine, nine, eight thirty nine, maybe a ten. The wife falls asleep, maybe one. From one to six, It's like it's bananas.
What goes on? You guys?
Gotta say I put on my old clothes and lay there.
S Yep, that's when the boys come over to that.
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