The Daily Show: Ears EditionThe Daily Show jumps in our time machine and heads back to this day in 2013: the nation is in the middle of a Republican-caused government shutdown and the Democrats have just botched the nationwide rollout of Obamacare. Host Jon Stewart recaps the failed launch before diving deep into HealthCare.gov’s glitches and issues with John Oliver. Stewart then celebrates the legalization of same-sex marriage in New Jersey, recapping a wedding ceremony officiated by a very excited Cory Booker. Alan Greenspan then joins Jon to discuss his new book "The Map and the Territory" and the lessons learned in the years since the Great Recession.
You're listening to Comedy Central October twenty first, twenty thirteen.
On Comedy Central's Worldviews headquarters in New York.
This is the Daily Show with John Stow.
How is Yell Door my Deak Tonight, Alan Greens Bad, Alan Green's Band to enjoin us, but our top joy Tonight. Let me tell you shut down fall out. The Republican shutdown tactics and politics were so offensive to even independence and moderates that this country looks like it is poised to turn bluer than a smurf's balls after dry humping a bottle of windecks. I can't believe we have a picture. For all the Democrats have to do to gain like an eighty twenty percent advantage in this country, all that stands in their way is a mildly competent implementation of the healthcare policy they battled so hard to keep.
Let's take a look.
The word glitch has been used by the White House that felts promising. Let's hear more.
Healthcare dot gov has been plagued by glitches, riddled with glitches.
Glitches, glitches, glitch glitches, glitchers, snaffoo.
The bugs, the kinks, whatever you want to call this a glitches. Yes, apparently the healthcare dot gov website has ninety nine problems, but a glitch is all of them, which lets me introduce our new segment, spinning Beachball of Healthcare. So what are we talking about here? A few page freezes.
Many who want to sign up are having trouble just getting on to the website logging on.
Okay, so the first step doesn't work. Well, I have a feeling after that it's wrong information on Medicaid eligibility and long delays in timeouts. Well, delay some timeouts. That's nothing better mean. It's also a feature of NFL games in America. America loves those confusing error messages. Broken calculators. The calculator doesn't work. Thelat the one thing that's been included in computer since nineteen seventy two. You couldn't make that work. What is the only thing that the calculator does is spell out the word boobs no matter what you plug into it. How does the calculator not work? Give it to us straight dot gov? How bad is it?
According to a poll by the Associated Press, fewer than one in ten people who tried to sign up in the first week were actually able to complete the process. That's a success rate of less than ten percent.
Oh my god, less than ten percent?
How bad is that?
Twenty percent is the number of dentists who recommend sugared gum. How low is it? According to a recent poll, more of this country believes Obamacare has been repealed than have been able to sign up for Obamacare. The whole point of websites is to design them so that it is nearly impossible to not sign up for something. Every time I go on Amazon, there's a forty percent chance I'm mistakenly overnight myself six seasons at night Court. It's just the way it's designed. Are you sure you want to leave this page?
Yes?
I am. Oops, turns out I ordered something. So how the Democrats going to spin this? Turn? So?
I think the number one point about the rollout is that there's huge interest. Nineteen million individual visits to the website. That's huge.
Yeah, that's huge. You've angered a lot of people.
The number one worry before we started was are people going to be interested? Will people sign up? And the answer to that is overwhelmingly yes.
Yeah. But their number one worry was will I be able to get health insurance out of this thing, and the answer to that appears to be ninety percent. But at least for the ten percenters, we're able to log on and enroll life.
She's a beautiful The.
Wall Street Journal reports the healthcare marketplace is generating flawed data for insurance companies, everything from duplicate enrollments and missing data fields to problems with eligibility and spouse is reported as children.
What kind of computer program forces you to marry your own children? How So, turns out the Obamacare rollout was plagued by a lot more than just glitches. So much so the President of the United States, who as you know, does not usually mann this country's IT support center, summoned us all this morning to the Rose Garden for a little Glengarry glen Ross Closers spiel.
The Affordable Care Act is not just a website. The health insurance that's available to people is working just fine. Instead of paying sixteen done one hundred dollars per month, you have a plan that will only cost us six hundred and ninety two dollars a month. And that's a good deal. The product is good. I want people to be able to get this great product and that product is working.
It's really good.
When did the President of the United States turn into Gil from The Simpsons.
Now she's a beauty. You can't beat a calico.
How abouty? Can I put you down for a lot? Please say a lot?
I'd eat this.
This isn't a good product, but let's heaven. He didn't stop, baby Ron pop Peel kept on selling.
You just heard Janis' story. She owns her own small business. She recently became the first woman in roll and coverage through Delaware's exchange show.
That's one. You know, people say you can't use the website. Have you told him about Janice from Delaware? Hey? But you know what, God bless she signed up. She deserves to be up there to prove that this can be done easily.
It took her seven hours on the phone and online.
Eventually she had to.
Go through and clean out all the cookies from her cachet and then she was able to sign up.
But she did sign up from the small state of Delaware. She had the move. She had to move, and she is no longer married. But it is done. She did.
She is done.
She had the move. She had to do a giant tattoo of a spider on her neck. But it's done. She has it. It's done. Yes. It turns out even the photo op to address the poorly planned rollout of Obamacare suffered from a clear lack of planning, as evidenced by the decision, perhaps on wise in hindsight, to place the pregnant woman with diabetes in the sun next to the president. Good save, give the woman some water, but fear not. Help is on the way.
We've had some of the best IT talent in the entire country join the team, and we're well into a techt surge to fix the problem.
A surge your.
Website is so we have to use the same strategy we use to salvage the Iraq War.
Well our own.
John Oliver has been trying to sign up for Obamacare, He joins us right now, John, come.
You, Oh, thank god, Please don't leave. Don't leave, John, please somewhere are you. We're okay, okay, Here's what happened. I went to healthcare dot Gov just lug you off.
Thanks.
I gave them all my information oppressed, and there was a giant sucking sound next thing on you. I was inside that website, John, I'm sucking.
Here is awful.
It's horrible.
Ire Wow. So there are still a few glitches.
Glitches, clitch, Look at me, John, I didn't get a four h four file on found screen. I've got sucked into the mainframe glitches.
That is that code behind you?
Is that code?
Yeah?
Isn't that supposed to be zeros in one? Yeah?
I think it's Oh, it's fours and fives here, John, Really, I don't know which subcontractor that up. This is elementtal coding.
Well, let me ask you. Do you at least have health insurance? Now? Is that?
I don't, John? No, apparently I'm still being processed. But like the president says, the product is good. It's just that there is a small risk that applicants might get sucked into a tron like cyber bureaucratic nightmare with no escape.
You have you just listen. Have you tried just hitting escape? Yeah?
Thank you, Sanjay. That was the first thing I tried.
Okay, that was the first thing.
All right, No, Joe, my best hope is that they're going to begin to fix in some way. Oh no, no, Joe, I'm gonna get out of here.
What is that?
Is that?
What I think it is?
How old is this so fled John. Wow, that was unbelievable.
Well, the website is very busy, so I can't get you help flakes quickly.
He's coming back, John, he's coming by.
I hate to see that.
For everybody. Oh, well, me right back.
What's not I don't know if you saw this over the weekend. Very exciting development in my home state.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is officially past midnight. Marriage is equal in New Jersey.
Let's get ready to couple. At long last, people from New Jersey can legally marry each other. I think that's what it is. Is wedding day for hundreds of same sex couples in New Jersey.
Gay marriage now legal in that state.
Okay, that makes a lot more sense. I thought it was just that people from New Jersey are allowed to marry other people from New Jersey. You know, I now pronounce you about a being in bauda bull. You may know about a being the bauda boom. Apparently what happened was last month a lower court judge ruled that New Jersey had to allow gay marriages, and then last week the state Supreme Court ruled seven to zero that they had to start today. Why today. Well, for one thing, Greg and Michael aren't getting any younger. It was an exciting night, and a few more excited than Newark Mari and Senator elect Cory Booker, who officiated one of the first weddings.
All right, so I have to do this by law.
Is this one of those stopping frisk deals? Is that? What's happening? Is it a union? Thing? Is about to take a nap? What does he have to do by law? What is he Why is he even talking about the law? What? Maybe I should just let him?
All right, So I have to do this by law.
And so before we exchange the vows, I must ask if there's anyone present here today that should know of any reason why Joseph and Orvell should not be marriage married?
Speak now or forever? Hold your peace?
Isn't that crazy? In New Jersey? That is the law. You were acquired by law to ask if anyone objects to a wedding, and not just weddings in New Jersey. You have to do that for everything. It's part of the states. You've got a problem with that Act seventeen ninety four. It's why anytime you go to a bar in New Jersey, at some point to the night. Somebody's going to look at you and go you got a problem with that. They don't want to fight you, They're just obeying our laws. But all right, the formalities are out of the way. Time for the special moment that this couple's been waiting for all their lines.
Do you wish to be joined in marriage? Yes?
Yes, And I wish to join you, not in marriage, but joined you together. Too late. It already got weird.
So I declare Joseph and Orville to be lawful spouses in the state of New Jersey.
You may kiss your spouse.
Alright, getting weirder, alright? You may hug your bear.
Hell, leave down alone. It is not about you.
And you think that's bad. You should have seen what happened during their first dance.
But let them go right back, quarter back. My guest tonight, former chairman of.
The Federal Reserve Board. His new book is called The Map and the Territory Risk, Human Nature and the Future of Forecasting. Please welcome back to the program, Alan Green's band.
Sorry enjoyman.
Oh yeah, please have a seat there, my friend, listen to this. So the book is called The Map in the Territory.
Can we reck until I start laughing.
Are you enjoying that? Where are you back there? You get the feed, you got chocolate back there? It's a good time.
Oh yeah, I'm very talented.
All right. So in two thousand and eight, so you're the FED chairman. In two thousand and eight, you testify that the one thing about this financial collapse that you didn't see coming was that you thought the banks would have been better stewards of their own capital, that they would have been better self regulators. Yep, And that this book was your journey into finding out why they were terrible. Please, how about it?
I couldn't have said it better.
Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Why were they terrible at regulating their own risk?
Well, I don't think they fully understood the types of risks that were out there. It's very interesting when you're in a financial business to try to figure out why markets behaviors they do. And it's tough. I mean a lot of people think they can do it very easily, but we really can't forecast all that Well we pretend that we can, but we really can't. And markets do very weird things because it's being It reacts to the way people behave and sometimes people a little screwy.
You just learned this. People are always screwy. It's greed, isn't it. It's greed and Hubris no.
Well yeah, but it's also a lot of other things. Now, look, I was brought up in the canyons of All Street, and I know what screwiness is, right, I mean, I've watched it all my life. What's very different about this is that we, that is, those of us who did analysis, always thought that that screwiness would wash out and that all you had to look at is the real numbers in the real world. That was wrong. And I'll tell you it's very hard for me to convey, but the simple premise which we all made were that people would act rationally in their long term self interest made a huge impact on how you viewed how the economy would function.
But even if you look at the simple numbers, these guys are you taking thirty to one risks on stuff that they're not capitalized on. That's not even you know, studying human behavior. That's looking at a basic balance sheet and going what is this?
Precisely now, when we began to see what was going on, you couldn't believe that there would be people who would be that disregarding of their own companies. How can you run, as you say, thirty times.
Right on the leverage. But isn't it because they don't pay the penalty. Isn't it the rewards that they were getting. It's the system was incentivized for these crazy short term bursts of rewards.
Back in nineteen seventy, the New York Stock Exchange said that broker dealers, which are what all these people are, could incorporate. Prior to them, they were all partnerships. And let me tell you something about a partnership. Your partners don't let you take any risk that can affect them. And I remember they wouldn't lend you a nickel overnight. And the system worked. You did not get anybody failing because the equity was protected. As soon as they started to go to corporations, they took risks for exactly the reason you suggested.
But didner we then deregulate those corporations and allow them to take those risks because a lot of the safeguards in there. We always are going to have some bust in booms, but they're not going to be as large because there were some clear cut regulations in place that controlled how much they could end overnight, or or the amount of money they could speculate from their savings holders to their more speculative derivative businesses.
The easiest thing to do is to increase capital requirements. If they want to do things which make no sense whatever, let them do it and let them suffer the consequences, but don't put them in a position where they can defold. Is what The real problem in all of these areas are the fact that when a bank fails, it tends to create a contagious effect and it rumbles through the system. Sure, and that's precisely what happened on September fifteenth, two thousand and eight. Those of us who look at that sort of stuff recognize that you just can't tell which are going to be the toxic ascids. So I think the only way to solve this problem is to get enough regulatory capital in place, and then they can do a lot of things which you shouldn't be able to, shouldn't worry about.
So what would you say, twelve to one, what are we dealing with here? Ten to one? Twelve to one?
I would say basically that, well, right now, there are eleven percent of assets, right, I think they number ought to be twice.
That, So twenty two percent of that kind of thing. Are they going to do it? No? Well, thank you very much for your the map in the territory on the bookshelves now, Alan Greenspan, go get the Ball.
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