Michelle Wolf covers sexual assault allegations against Diddy, Eric Adams, and Jamie Foxx just before the expiration of New York's Adult Survivors Act. She also takes on a new law banning height and weight discrimination in NYC, King Charles benefitting off of dead Brits, and space travel leading to erectile dysfunction with Michael Kosta. What is the opposite of a Karen? What's the most white woman thing to do? Can men be Karens? Michelle Wolf investigates whether or not white women deserve such a bad reputation. And comedian Eric André discusses why writing “Dumb Ideas” almost felt like a prank on himself, how his extreme transformations for “The Eric André Show” have affected his personal and intimate life, and why he would love to leave America some day.
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Show from New York City, the only city in America. It's the show that intended news. This is The Daily Show with your.
Host the Show.
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Michelle wolf.
As.
I am back here at The Daily Show after six years away, mostly because the show has a new HR person, so I'm now allowed back in the building again. We've got all the headlines today, all the major headlines, everything everyone's talking about, everything that happened this weekend. We're gonna talk about it right here, right now, you guys.
I'm so excited because we're.
Covering all the stories that are important to us as people and humans. So let's get into the headline, all right, the first thing on everyone's mind. Let's kick things off with our old friend hashtag me too.
Remember her?
Yeah?
Last year, New York passed a new law that gave people a one year window to file lawsuits for sexual assault that otherwise would have been past the statute, the statute of limitations. Last weekend was the day line, and boy did the lawsuits come rolling in.
The Mayor of New York is accused of sexually assaulting a woman thirty years ago. In a new court filing, the woman alleges she was sexually assaulted by defending Eric Adams in nineteen ninety three. The woman filed her claim just before the midnight expiration of New York's Adult Survivors Act. The temporary law signed last year by Governor Kathy Hokeel allows adult sexual misconduct accusers to file lawsuits that previously would have been barred by the statute of Limitations. And in the past week, Jamie Fox, Guns N' Roses front man Axel Rose and Sean Ditty Combs also faced Adult Survivors Act lawsuits. Fox and Rose denied the allegations. Combs also denied, then settled.
Now, look, obviously a lawsuit is not proof of anything, but Diddy did settle pretty quickly. I mean one day later he was signing that check.
Like, I strongly deny any.
Allegations against me thirty millions. Also, please don't kill me, didty.
I know your list is long. It's long. I'll go at the end.
All these lawsuits they popped up over the weekend just before the deadline. So congrats, creeps. If you didn't get a lawsuit this weekend, you're in the clear. You go grab that titty, you earned it, Grab two, both handsfuls, get in there.
I'm back for a reason.
Guy, isn't sexual assault fun? But why is there a deadline for rape victims? You know, right after Thanksgiving? Two makes me feel a little like the greasiest Black Friday email.
Ever. That's fast. You only have two hours.
To get justice for the worst day of your life. File all lawsuit today and receive a free tote. Now let's move on to some news for their shorties in the fannies, which is something I can say. Can't say anymore thanks to a new law passed in New York City.
A new law that bans discrimination based on a person's weight and height went into effect last week. Mayor Adams signed the legislation six months ago.
The law adds height and weight.
To characteristics that are protected from discrimination when it comes to housing and jobs. Other issues involve age, race, gender, religion, and sexual orientation also characteristics protected by law.
That's right, New York City is banning discrimination based on height and weight. So congrats on your mama finally be able to rent that apartment and all seriousness this morning and compliance with this law Coney Island officially removed all those signs that say you must be this tall in order to ride the rollercoaster, And shortly after, fifty short kings died after riding the cyclone. They fell right out, They fell right out. It was a field trip. I laughed at that joke for so long when we were writing it.
There's a bunch of little people falling out of a too long more.
It's just too bad that there's no good way to share this news that the people that it's meant to protect. You know, like, hey, John, good news. You can't discriminate based on hyder weight anymore. Why are you telling me that, Oh, no reason, Just spread the news, little guy, I mean big guy, I mean.
Guy guy.
Let's move on to some international news, some very important international news.
A scandal out of Great Britain.
Apparently there's this law that's been on the book since medieval times in some areas of the country. If you die, you don't have a will, all your shit goes to this guy.
Yeah, that's right, wrong hand, this.
Guy backwards, the King of England gets your stuff, your house, your books, those little soccer trophies.
I'm sorry, football topsis or whatever you call them. And I know this sounds bad, but this is not a scandal. Great Britain is stealing from English people instead of Africans.
I call that progress. Guys.
Let that Trevor joke here, Come on, that joke was for Trevor, all right. A new study found that exposure to cosmic radiation could cause astronauts to suffer a rectile dysfunction even after they returned to Earth, which finally explains why Neil armstrong second sentence on the Moon was I swear this never happens. And they say, what causes this is cosmic rays? But what if it's just the odd inspiring experience of being in space? You know, after that you're having sex with someone and you're like, yeah, I've seen the cosmos fall away before me like a glittering sea of infinity.
So sorry if your vagina just doesn't do it for me anymore.
Or to be inclusive, I've seen the cosmos fall away before me like a glittering sea of infinity, So sorry if your butthole doesn't do it for me anymore.
We care.
We care here at the Daily Show. We care. That's for more.
In the Space Race, we go live to NASA headquarters with our very Michael Costa. Oh, Michael, this is some shocking news.
It's devastating, Michelle. It's why I've made the difficult decision to not be an astronaut. And it's too bad because I was just a couple of YouTube videos away from learning math, Michael.
Space travel is one of humanity's greatest technological accomplishments, after the Japanese toilet.
Of course, it's a hot seat. What are we talking about.
Isn't planting the flag on the Moon worth a little bit of olymptic?
Unfortunately? No.
The fact is space stick is a life or death issue for our planet. See if science fiction has taught us anything it's that most of the time you spend in space, you're having sex.
With hot aliens.
That's how we prove to them that humanity is worth saving. But what if an alien queen takes me to the bedroom and I can't perform Earth gets vaporized just because I couldn't blast off into her Milky Way.
We can't take that risk, Michael.
I don't think that's how real space works.
Well, which one of us was almost an astronaut, Michelle.
Neither one of us, so What are you saying we can't go to space anymore because you want to protect your boner.
Of course, I'm not saying that.
I mean it's humanity's destiny to explore the galaxy and harvest its resources so we can keep building iPhones. No, Michelle, now is the time for us to come together as a planet and devote all of our collective scientific knowledge to keeping our astronauts rock hard. Okay, whatever it takes, space viagra, paint a nipple on the moon. It looks like a boob, and if nothing else works, let's try sending teenage boys up there. Space conditions won't stop those boners any more than my grandmother's funeral did.
Thanks Michael, miche costa everybody. When we come back, I find out how white New Yorkers can be, So don't go away, Welcome back to the Daily Show. You might be surprised to hear this, but I'm a white woman.
It's true.
And this week I hit the street stass my fellow white women. What's the whitest woman thing they've ever done?
White women get a bad rap, And I'm out here on.
The streets of New York to ask should we what do you think is the most white woman thing you've done.
Oh, maybe go get a pumpkin spice latte at.
Starbucks at a SA day and bought some bell bottom yoga pants from Hallow because I saw him on another white girl.
But were they like what one fifty? Yeah, about one fifty.
Sometimes I'll walk around when I'm in a really bad mood and imagine I'm Sarah Jessica Barger.
Yeah, you have your own little six in the city.
Moment I was invited to an Indian wedding, I thought the outfits. I went to the wedding, it was amazing. Yeah, after the wedding, I didn't know how to clean it, so I took it to the dry cleaners and they tried to charge me like four hundred dollars for this beautiful garment to be cleaned. And I just started fighting with them, trying to tell them like it's really like kind of rude and racist that you're charging me this much to like clean this garment. So I call my Indian friends, like won't you be so proud of me? They're just like hysterically laughing and me like We've been trying to tell them this for one hundred years. And you thought that one time you could go and convince the whole like dry cleaning industry.
You were trying to be the dry cleaning savior.
Who is your black eye?
I'm gonna go with Oprah. She was my first Oprah, Oprah Oprah. Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama. No, we want oh no, no, we want Okay, Okay, but more than that.
Not just because she's a supermodel, but I don't know living here and not Naomi Campbell.
Oh did I say what?
Yeah?
I like her tiptok.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have been like, I gotta go because I'm like my Karen's like right here, and you're like, I don't want to let her out, let her.
Yeah, I've certainly felt the rage of what a Karen must feel.
I was at Trader Joe's and I went up to the lady and I said, can I have flowers? And she said, I'm talking to someone, sorry, And I said, okay, well, I'll sit here till you're ready because I need you to help me pick out of okay, and she goes, I'm talking to my friend, sorry. And that was when I was kind of like people stuck at their jobs.
When that happened, did you say anything to her?
Did you say, like, okay, I never do this.
I went to her manager and I said she needs serious training.
Around Or do you ever feel like you're about to be a Karen?
If there's an opposite of Karen that might be made, then I don't know.
Oh woo, what would you name the opposite of a Karen?
Oo?
How about a scarlet?
A scarlet you.
Can be where every day is a dream and they can chiye this and try no judgment.
Yeah, I love that a scarlet. I'm going to be a scarlet.
Do you feel that only women can Karen? Or do you think men can care and a man Karen all the time?
They don't.
It's like, of course it's allowed.
What do you see men doing when they.
Careen and then get a little temper tantrumine and it goes their.
Way, right, and it goes their way? Yeah see, and then.
No one blinks and not it's like, oh yeah, he just he's speaking, is fine?
Yeah? Yeah? And when women Karen, they're just bitches. Yeah yeah.
What's the last thing you've cried to get out of?
Maybe work a long time ago. I don't know. Maybe when I'm worked at Starbucks. Are white women to blame?
I think we are part of the problem.
I think we're a big part of the problem.
I mean, if we look to like twenty sixteen and with the election numbers, they're like white women were a big part of the problem.
I think I think twenty twenty two, yeah they yeah, or.
Just those numbers don't vote well for us.
So should should we maybe not be able to vote?
No, definitely, we need to vote. I'm like upset when people don't vote.
I'm like, this is we.
Fought for this, And then I have to remember, like not everybody got to vote at the same time as white women did.
When you hear people don't vote, what is your what do you say to them?
Do you have like a you should vote pitch or anything like that?
I asked them if they pay taxes, Like do you like the roads, the sidewalks you live on?
Do you like trash on the street? Like you might lecture a little bit?
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, definitely. What do you think is the best part about being white?
I don't usually think about maybe because I'm from rash.
Iving, maybe not having a thing about being white is the good part.
About being white. Certainly I did it.
I proved white women are not a monolith. There's a whole range on the Karen Scarlett spectrum.
After meeting with so many white women with their verse viewpoints, I realized there was one thing we all have in common.
I'll dance anything.
I do.
Like to dance doctor like one or two dreams.
Every day I do something called Madonna Dance. We'll dance whenever, wherever.
I could do the work.
When we come back, Eric Andre will be joining me on the show, So don't go away.
Welcome back to the Daily Show.
My guest tonight is an actor and comedian who is currently on tour. He also co authored a new book about the making of the Eric Andres Show called Dumb Ideas.
Please welcome Eric and Rake. Oh, Eric, big fan. I feel like you. Oh, thank you, and.
Your whole lifestyle, your whole Spanish lifestyle.
I have a very international lifestyle, That's what I do. Yeah, and you would like to be an international body as well.
You got to get me over there. Yeah, yeah, you got to get me over there.
We both would love to leave America.
And it's very scary.
Halloween.
Yeah, you know what I mean, what do you have to be worried about in America?
Is someone? Uh? That is.
Because I'm just I'm just a study abroad, you know, like I'm just going I'm just going for the savice.
Well I want the too. I you know, there's a lot of guns here. It's like the wild West. There's a lot of kids.
Yeah, yeah, not guns.
Yeah, algebra clas.
Yeah, that's yeah. It feels it feels weird to do.
Uh we at the end?
Is this the end of Are we at the is this Act three of America?
I mean I kind of like to think so.
You like to think so. It brings me great stress.
Because because then it means something new will come, you know, out of the apocalypse, out of the actress will it's China and.
There's no problems over there, No.
No problems over there. And yeah, I agree, I am. You know.
I was in an airport the other day and I uh, I was through security and I was like, huh, we're safe because there's no guns through security in Spain. No, No, in America. I was thinking about it.
In America, they sneaking guns all the time nowhere. The t s A. They're not the sharpest group and they're no disrespective agents.
Out there, hard working under page.
But like you know, because stuff sneaks in.
Yeah, have you snuck anything?
I sneak Yeah. Every every time I'm at the airports, a ton of weapons.
Yeah, yeah, I have to bring that right now, no flight last.
I often bringing that, you know, the stick as the ball with the spikes on.
The end, like a Cat of Nine Tales, like a medieval Like that's good.
I'm thinking that.
Yeah, that's kind of good.
I just like to see if I can get it through.
Yeah, challenge the TSA. I encourage all of you to challenge the TSA. Make them work for it.
What's the worst that can happen?
What's the worst that could happen?
What's the worst?
Just try it?
Yeah, well, so that's not you. You do pranks.
I do banks, Yet I do banks.
Did you feel like writing this book was a prank on yourself?
Yeah.
I'm not a book writer. I'm not a book reader. The last book I read was Where's Waldough?
So I, uh, did you find him?
And I never found him? And that's why I stopped. I never know. It's a lot of work. It's a tremendous amount of work. You know, yeah, this is not this is just work. But this is just this is like done.
We have a deadline.
We had to have this written and out here. This something that agents, agents love to push. You got to write a book.
Why do you want to?
Come on?
Man?
You got to write a book from me. I feel like there's also no money in books.
No, you know, I mean we made so far seventy paces.
Seventy Yeah, that's not going to get you very far in Spain. That we'll get you farther than it would in America.
Yes, so you asked me anything.
I'm an open book.
I'm spread eagle under the table right now. That's how coomfortable I am.
You like to transform yourself for your roles.
I got head to toe Filipino surgery, plastic surgery. Yeah, I completely changed my race nationally.
No, I gave the picture of which Filipino you'd like to look like?
Yeah, I showed many packet Yeah I could thought I was trying.
To remember the Filipino boxer.
I'm gonna.
Very racist.
Yes, I've gained, I got I got gaunt.
One season, I tried to look like McConaughey and Dallas Buyers Club and then that was that was bad. And then I got as like big and plump as I I wanted to look like Red Fox drowned or something, and then I and then I got shredded. I got ripped like Dwayne the Rock Johnson for one season and then it all went to ship. Then I went to Portugal right after I got ripped, which took me like half a year, and I just drank my weight and wine and it all all went back. Now I look like a beautiful female orangutang with like fallowing breast, like d cup pendulous orangutang breast.
You really paint a picture.
I can see.
I can see why you're an otur. You're you're a way with crows. Didn't did you enjoy or getting bad as the best?
I was gonna say that you do get depressed after a while, But I was eating melted ice cream, peanut butter jelly sandwiches and pizza every night. It's awesome. Then you keep looking in the mirror and it's fun. At first you're like, wow, it's crazy, I look gnarly, and then you get really you get really depressed. I also got rid of all my body hair that season.
I didn't really see it all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wax.
I waxed my pubic hair. I shaved my head because the previous season, I didn't brush my hair all year, and I didn't wear deodorant the whole time. And I grew up my fingernails like Freddy Krueger. So I was trying to do like the opposite of what I did the previous season.
How long did your fingernails get?
They got pretty bad. And my girlfriend at the time was not.
But what about all the backscratches you could give her?
Uh? Yeah, not a lot of sketches. It was hard. Intimacy was difficulty nails about that.
I just have trouble opening like Kansas soda with nails. So I imagine intimacy is also intimacy.
It's a challenge. It's not easy. And I stunk that year. I didn't wear I didn't wash my outfit, my my wardrobe. I would like run circles in it and sweat into it. I didn't wash it for a whole year, and uh and I did wear deodorant for the whole year. I was tough today that sounds yeah.
I was.
I was gnarly. I was Oscar the grouch.
Yeah, that sounds a lot.
It's kind unnecessary too, like you can't smell me through the television.
It was just to freak out the guests.
That's a really good point. I can't smell you through the not yet, no not yeah, I mean hopefully some soon, very soon.
I did the guests like gag.
When they smelled you, or yeah they would they would remember. Uh.
I interviewed Amber Rose and she came out and hugged me, and she goes, you need to wash yourself.
It was repulsive. It was repulsive. It was bad.
That's a yeah. And she's worked at strip clubs.
Yeah, she smelled many a body odor that tickle dirt, tickle dirt nostrils.
This is have we started filming or is this like a is this a rehearsal? And then I come back tomorrow, I think.
Thank you, I think I think we're filming, and I just you know, as we keep going, I remember how much I'm terrible at interviews.
What are you talking about?
You're very confident, that's.
A that's why are you Why are you so confident?
Why am I so confident? Oh? Well, you know, my big dick o keep rolling over sharing it's that long and this feeling right? Am I right?
Am?
I right?
I've got.
I feel like this is why I don't have a podcast, because I feel like you have to have guests on a podcast and people would be like, what do you want to talk about? And I'd have to be like, you're gonna have to bring it. I don't know, Yeah, what do you want to talk about? You came to my house, you're on my podcast.
Why don't you just bring your phone here and then record a voice memo, repurpose this conversation.
That's your podcast.
Perfect.
I don't think Viacom would be stoked on it.
But yeah, but they don't have money to get lawyers anymore. You're talking about you know, they you know, what do we got left?
You know?
I'm sure they'll keep that.
Yeah, I say, I wanted you just start crying.
I should have like splashed water or something where they couldn't go back from it, you know.
Like we're here now, So what's going on in Spain?
In Spain?
Okay, do you drink wine?
No?
I don't really.
You stopped because it was a problem, you know, you got to a point where it was dark. They were like Jack Carroll WACKX Final Days.
This is the fun thing about when when you don't really drink anymore. Is that a lot of people?
It shows how many people thought you had a problem but you never did. I mean, I don't know, maybe I drank too much, but it was people were like, you finally quit, and I was like, I was like, I didn't.
I mean, sure, but you're still doing drugs.
You're doing I'm doing hard okay, and all that stuff I do the hardest.
Only needle drugs.
Oh yeah, yeah, and that just heroin, steroids of zamb oh, yeah, whatever you got, if it's any needle.
You I've been doing so many starrups is use my book.
These guys are marbles I do and modern recreationally. Oh yeah, I just I didn't want it to stop. I just wanted to keep you.
It's going to be on the cusp of COVID all the time, yes, right, covid edging that's what?
Yeah?
And kids you can do that too. Where's my camera? Just my fingers in there? Okay?
An edge? Are you encouraging kids to edge? Is that?
What?
Was that? What I want? My name taken off the show and my face blurred. The release.
He has a book that's coming from a guy who's a book called Dumb Ideas and take us to the Air Gondree Show Live or veil board aircondretar dot com.
We're gonna take a quick break.
First, Thank you, Thank you. Is that what you wanted?
Good?
You're great.
That's our show for tonight, but before we go.
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