The Daily Show jumps back in time to this day in 2015. Trevor Noah covers the rise in gun sales after a mass shooting and Jordan Klepper sets out to determine the likelihood of another gun owner stopping an active shooter. Plus, Michael Strahan discusses his transition from the NFL to morning television.
You're listening to Comedy Central.
December tenth, twenty fifty.
From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York.
This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Thanks so much.
Welcome, Welcome, welcome, welcome, Welcome, everybody to the Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. We've got a fantastic show for you today. Our guest co host of Live with Kelly and Michael, Michael Strahan is y everybody.
But we begin tonight with guns.
Can't live with them, can't live without them? I mean, unless, of course you live in Australia or England and so well, oh, Italy or Japan. Anyway, the point of Denmark or Luxembourg. Sorry, this is so embarrassing boys, forget Luxembourg.
But the point is you can't live without.
Guns, because without them, life isn't the same. Because guns can do pretty much anything. You can go hunting, you can combine them with roses, and.
They can even make a raccoon look.
Badass, all of which may explain why, in the wake of the San Bernardino shooting, Americans responded in the way that they did.
Had a gunshot less than two miles from the scene, of last week's massacre. More than two dozen people were lined up outside when it opened this morning.
Gun legislation front and center, which only gets all the people who want guns to run and go get them.
So this is so confusing to me. So people get shot, and so people go out and buy guns.
I don't understand why people aren't buying bulletproof vests.
How is that not on the top of everyone's Christmas list. I don't underst standards. I want to vest, that's all I want. I want to vest. Now.
The reason some people are doing this is because there's a fear that the government is going to take away all the guns.
But I don't understand why people think. You know, why do you think this?
Because, I mean, mass shootings are here to stay. What makes you think that this shooting is the one that's going to start gun control? There've been twenty six mass shootings in America just since Obama's been in office. I mean, at this point, he gives so many mass shooting speeches that he might as well just walk around with a podium as his belt buckle, so he's always ready to go.
That's a funny.
I mean, if America hasn't banned guns by now, I think gun owners can rest easy.
But look, I get it.
Many Americans feel like they need protection, and for some the best form of defense is attack.
The gun range where say ed Rizwan Farrup did some target practice two days before he killed fourteen co workers. Business there is up sixty percent since the attack.
The shooting range where the terrorist practiced got a sixty percent increase in business.
That's weird logic.
People were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Look, I know they were terrorists, but you cannot the training. You don't go to the place where the assholes learned their craft. I mean, that's like going to learn from the Cobra Kai after you watch Johnny sweep the leg that is not cool.
That is not cool.
You learn from mister Miagi and he gives you a vest. But not everyone, Not everyone thinks that the answer is more guns. Some people think that the answer is bigger guns.
After the latest mass shooting in San Bernardino, Northeastern University announcing a controversial plan to arm campus officers with semi automatic rifles.
Hmmm, So now students can go to a place where they for years eating meals, spending most of their time sharing a tiny room with a stranger experimenting with same sex relationships, all while a group of God's Patrol with AR fifteen's you guys have officially turned college into prison. Now, guy, if there's one thing I've learned living in America, there's only one way to stop a bad guy with a gun.
And for that, Jordan Klepper filed this reports.
It seems like every day there's a new mass shooting, but turn on the TV and the solution is crystal clear.
We should arm the good guys, whether it's in Denny's or in a classroom.
The only thing that stops a bad guy.
With a gun good guy with a guy.
One good guy with a guy.
There's a good guy with a guy.
Sounds like a foolproof plan. It's time to do my duty.
It's time to become Jordan Klepper good guy with a gun. The first thing any good guy with a gun needs is is concealed handgun license, which in Obama's New York City is almost impossible to get. Luckily, it's super easy in Florida.
You don't even have to live there.
You can just mail in an application and once that gets approved, it instantly becomes valid.
In these thirty states.
So all I have to do to qualify for my handgun license is buy a stamp and pass any NRA gun safety course. Buckle up, Buttercup, Daddy's packing. I've come to the New Jersey Firearms Academy to train with Chief instructor and cowboys see low Green impersonator Latif Dickerson.
Chief. What do we have here?
Oh?
We have some handguns Ashian k Heckler and Coke model USP. This gun here is the Glock model in nineteen.
Which one does this good guy get?
You get this one?
Seriously? This mustard colored toy.
It's not a toy.
That is a plastic training gun, and we're going to keep it pointing in the same direction as though it were a real firearm.
Oh, I get to hit somebody with the bubbles that it blows out.
It's called muscle discipline, having discipline to where that muscle is pointing at all times.
I'll have that muscle discipline.
Great.
I just want you to know I don't obey any rules. Kind of a wildcard.
You have to obey all the rules when it comes to firearms, right.
I get that, Well, who knows?
You know?
There's a wild card in there.
Andything can happen, It can't happen.
It won't happen here. But okay, I'm just kind of one of those guys.
I'm a rule breaker.
Don't break any rules.
I will break any of these rules.
No, not, because someone can either die or you can become incarcerated.
Teach me how to shoot a gun.
Chief broke down all the key points of firearm safety, like aiming.
Contact on the grip, wrap those around numbers, and that's how you.
Suck on this metal and not like that, but the gun just like that. Can't talk with a gun in your mouth.
No right, not turn the gun sideways. Just keep the gun vertical up and down.
Okay, if I hold it like this, can I still say sucked on this piece?
No good guns going tell bad guys to suck on their piece before they shoot them?
What did they do? Trust me?
I know what I'm talking about.
Then I was ambushed by a grueling written exam. It was three entire pages, double sided, multiple choice.
Stop fiddling with it, you'll break it off.
What used to say?
The test contained brain busters like true or false? Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction as.
An actual question it's pretty much a no brainer. It's true, right, it's true.
Yes, it was tough, but luckily I had a few bullets up my sleeve.
You a Share fan, chief.
I do not like share.
Or for me.
Now, there's only one thing standing between me Share and saving American lives. Firing an actual, for real life handgun. Turns out I'm a natural.
All right, let's hate it, all right.
Let's try to hit him in the dick based carms.
Course, we just want to keep our shots in the center of the target.
Yeah, you could make the target bigger, so the crotches in the center, the head, and then the shoulders and the arms. Then it comes hit and then right here is just a total crotch.
Right now, we're just trying to keep our shots in the center of the target. So okay, and I do. You're good to go.
You pass, and then I come back tomorrow and we continue the training.
If you want to train some more. But this is you know, this is good.
This is it.
You're a good guy with a gun.
That's me.
There you go.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
I done it.
I'd gone from gun idiot to idiot with a gun, qualified to conceal a deadly weapon in most of the country, probably in your home state. With all of eight hours of training, I was ready to handle every crisis situation.
You're not ready to handle every crisis situation?
Are you?
Find out who this guy is in part two of Jordan Klepper, good guy with a gun.
Thank you, Jordan, coming up? Haunt you of Jordan Cleppa, good guy with a gun? Right after this Welcome back.
When we left Jordan, he was newly licensed to carry a concealed weapon in most of America.
Hooray. Now let's see what he does with that license. In Part two, after.
Almost eight entire hours, I'd completed all the training needed to get a concealed handgun license that would be valid in thirty states.
Good job.
But now this muscular stranger was telling me I wasn't ready to handle every price's situation.
You're not ready to handle every crisis situation.
Who the are you?
I'm peep Bler, I'm the director of the Alert Program.
ALERT or the Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training Program, has trained over eighty thousand cops to respond to active shooter events. So why was this dude trying to jam up on my gun nuts.
Because you've had one day of training.
I see how it is you want to take away our guns.
I wouldn't want to take away anybody's gun, but I would want to help train them.
Okay, I'll tell you thirty states, the NRA and Uncle Sam all think that I'm good to go when it comes to guns.
How many rounds did you shoot?
Is rounds bullets?
Yes, a ton, ten, twenty fifty.
Yeah, and I shot them at the paper.
I would recommend more training.
Come at me, bro, this is your weapon again. I'm handing it to you as a hot weapon alert.
Agreed to test my Eastwood like reflexes. In the following simulation, there's an active shooter in the building with by Glock seventeen modified to shoot paintball like bullets. I'm the good guy with a gun who's gonna take him down.
Okay, so you need to be ready. It could happen in any second from this point on.
Just need to be ready.
Okay, that was a test run.
I wasn't even ready, probably not going to be ready for it in real life, but I gotta do over.
Let's do it over again.
So I kneeled down and prepared to do battle and gut shot again and again and again.
Why was that so hard? That was nothing like call of duty?
I told you it's not that simple.
Yeah, But the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
That's science that's inaccurate. About one out of every five actor shooter events get stopped by a potential victim at the scene, and most of those victims are unarmed.
Or do you get those stats from some liberal think tank like Hillary Pack.
No, it's from the FBI report that came out last year, a study of actor shooter incidents from two thousand to twenty thirteen.
Obama's FBI.
It's the FBI.
Yeah, you believe that liberal claptrap.
I'm one of the co authors of the report.
I took a closer look at his report, and it pretty much proved my good guy theory.
There are some cases where we have good guys with guns who are able to stop the shooter. Most cases, very few cases, half the cases, not half a quarter of the cases, not a quarter of the case. What's the percent, it's about three percent.
Three percent. But these guys said the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
We must not have enough guns.
Ninety seven percent more people had guns one hundred percent of the time, there'd be a zero percent crime.
I'm not sure that's how math works, Pete.
It's simple.
Gun goes bang, bad guy falls down. I get to have sex with share. What more do I need to learn if.
You're gonna have a gun. We recommend as much training as you can get.
Fine, I'll train some more. Alert uses this abandoned elementary school to teach law enforcement to respond to active shooter events. Their on site traders have over forty years of combined experience in military law enforcement training. With these guys, I'd finally get enough training.
There's never enough training, never good enough.
It's not so much a destination, it's a journey.
But that destination is Heroville in the state of low job Land.
Huh.
It's just I mean, like when you're a hero, cool stuff happens. Oh, I've got a condo there. It's hand job village. But I guess you come by sometime.
Absolutely, I don't think that's God.
I'm getting lost in this pad.
Then, after yet another four and a half more hours of training, it was time to show them how it's done. The scenario is as follows. I hear shots fired at an elementary school. Police are on the way, but with innocent civilians inside. I have to draw my concealed handgun and respond with a high tech safety helmet to cover my face and up how old or protect my dick and balls.
I'm ready to be a hero.
There's the bad guy. Mission accomplished. Okay, so that wasn't the bad guy. So where are the bad There?
They are?
Where they are?
I'm being shot? Oh thank god, the authorities are here. I just hope they know I'm a good gun.
I had failed. You guys need help. I'm a good guy.
I was shot over twenty times by two different bad guys with guns, and then the policeman's took me for a bad guy and shot me a bunch too. Also, I may have shot an unarmed team twice in the chest.
It's tough.
Being a good guy with a gun was starting to feel way more complicated than movies and video games and politicians make it seem.
It's a complex situation, and you don't want to just give people guns and say you assume they know what they're gonna do. It requires a lot of training.
Who's got time for them? On's training people.
Who are gonna dedicate their lives to protecting others. That's it.
Being a good guy with a gun just takes a lifetime commitment to training. All we have to do is figure out who the good guys are, get millions of them to volunteer for three hundred hours of training in a year, costing billions of dollars.
Then make sure they're in the.
Right place at the right time. Guns a's already, and place this civilian army in our forty seven hundred colleges, fifty seven hundred hospitals, forty eight thousand malls, hundreds of thousands of churches.
You know, America, just do that?
Or couldn't we just, I don't know, figure out a way to not put a gun in this asshole's hand.
It's not my not my place for that, all right.
I feel like that's an idea. Just try to get this asshole to not have a gun. No, I don't think that's gonna happen in our lifetime.
Well, it was worth a shot. At least I can conceal a handgun almost everywhere. Sleep tight, America.
Shot and kept everybody, We'll be right back. Welcome back, my guest.
Tonight's is an NFL legend who played fifteen seasons with the New York Giants. He's also the co host of Live with Kenny and Michael. His new book is called Wake Up Happy, Please Welcome.
Michael Strahan. I'm kind of that's what you hear when you walk around. You are hurting people with your looks.
You know what happens when you get on TV. All of a sudden you become cute?
Is that all wet?
Before?
I was like, why don't he get his teach fixed?
I was that guy.
Now now I'm like, oh, he's so handsome.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for your blind boy.
You deserve it, you dive it. Thank you so much for being on the show.
This is funny because I was on your show and then I said you come on my show, and then you said, yeah, I'll come on your show, and then everyone says that and then they don't come, but you actually came.
So thank you. No, No, I love you.
I love your show man. You were so funny, You're so good, and I'm so happy that you got this because it's the hardest seat to feel. I thought regis was hard. That's nothing.
Your job is hard. I'm not saying nothing, but this is I think it would be hard in the morning. And you have to act like you're happy about it.
That's not easy.
That is not wake up happy. Oh oh, I see what you did there. I see what you did that. Oh you know what was funny on your on your show the other day?
You had Donald Trump, yes, yesterday, and he made a we tried to explain a joke about.
Wanting to date his daughter. You guys look very confused. You didn't know what it happened, did you.
Well, some jokes you should never repeat, and if you have to explain it, it probably wasn't a good joke. Yeah, And so when he said it, I was probably like the people heard it the first time, like you, what did you say?
But it was so funny because I saw your face because because I mean, I don't I'm not assuming that he saw the show. But we we had evidence to prove that Donald Trump wants to bang his daughter. And and so when he came on your show, he just was and your faces were just like, did this man just say he wanted it?
It kind of came out of nowhere did you say, well, now you know what about campaign? Well that was a joke about my daughter, and I'm like kind It was a little confusing.
Yeah, I could see it, but you played it off well because you're a great host.
Man. I really enjoyed you really are. Let's let's talk about this book. I mean, when people think.
Michael Strahan partly because you're a big bulky guy, you don't think of book writer.
Yeah, and yet it was a fantastic book. This is true. Though muscles and books, I'm not known to associate.
Why don't know why you guys are making it like I'm insulting him.
This is true.
I've never a big bulky guy who wrote a book.
That's what it says on the back, A big bulkie guy he wrote.
But it's but it's an amazing book. It's an amazing book that I learned. I learned so many things about one. I did not know that you were raised in Germany.
Yeah, I grew up in Germany. I'm from Houston, but I moved to Germany when I was like nine years old. Deutsch ambition, ambition, Yeah, don't go any further.
That's it, Oh, man, I can just imagine little mikea because you were fat as well, which just makes it so much was in the book. It's a beautiful story you talked about I just keted this fat Little Michael made me.
Cry. Man, I was not fat.
I was just big bum, you said, set in the book. Set in the book, that's a miss print.
I was big, mom.
But it really is a beautiful story because it's not just about you as a kid and Giry, it's it's it's almost an inspirational book without it being airy fairy. So you go, we started with inspiration and you apply it to your life getting into Kelly and Michael. That's another fascinating story to read about in the book because a lot of people don't associate you as a torture. Like people wouldn't think of that off the bat enough. You said that when you were a guest on the show.
Yeah, I went on as a guest. I wasn't even really a guest. I was kind of like a walkout guy. Like we won the super Bowl and I guess Eli Manning wasn't available, so they called me and I said, okay, I'll do it, and guest gets a seat. I kind of walked out and was kind of just next to the desk, and he said, what are you going to do now that you're retired? And I'm like, oh, you know, I'm on a show now, maybe you'll retire Kelly and Michael Michael and Kelly as a joke. And two years later he retired. I went on and guest told it twenty times and I never thought i'd get it. I just went on because it was fun. And then next thing you know, they asked me to take the job, and I wonder what the hell.
Was wrong with him? You're a mudsh man. But every day I watch it and I see why. I'm thank you man, Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Wake Up, Happy is n Stars, Bookstores, Life Now, Michael Strahan.
Everybody.
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