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You're listening to Comedy Central.

Barack Obama's tenure is almost at end. He only has ten months left, which is a lot of time for humans, but you must understand in the American governments, that's barely enough time to have anything obstructed. Still, you can't argue with one thing. Obama made history as America's first black presidents, and that fact has been a cause for celebration for all, well most and Jordan Klepper has more.

Barack Obama's tenure is almost at end. He only has ten months left, which is a lot of time for humans, but you must understand in the American governments, that's barely enough time to have anything obstructed. Still, you can't argue with one thing. Obama made history as America's first black presidents, and that fact has been a cause for celebration for all, well most and Jordan Klepper has more.

Under the Obama presidency, a segment of Americans have felt like second class citizens. Tragically, some have been marginalized their entire lives. I'm talking about white kids. What does it do to a young white child's dreams to have never seen themselves reflected in the nation's highest office.

Under the Obama presidency, a segment of Americans have felt like second class citizens. Tragically, some have been marginalized their entire lives. I'm talking about white kids. What does it do to a young white child's dreams to have never seen themselves reflected in the nation's highest office.

I want to know, guys, what do you want to be when you grow up?

I want to know, guys, what do you want to be when you grow up?

I want to be a stah e changer.

I want to be a stah e changer.

A stock exchanger.

A stock exchanger.

I want to be a pizza man.

I want to be a pizza man.

A pizza man, Like, what's the what's the what's the coolest most powerful job? You can imagine yourself becoming probably.

A pizza man, Like, what's the what's the what's the coolest most powerful job? You can imagine yourself becoming probably.

A singer plussecutor.

A singer plussecutor.

I do want to work on History Channel.

I do want to work on History Channel.

That's your biggest dream? Working on the History Channel.

That's your biggest dream? Working on the History Channel.

I'm so sad.

I'm so sad.

Could these poor little crackers even imagine that a president could be white? I want you guys to draw what you think a president looks like. Try to find the colors that you think work best. Three two one reveal. I saw brown and brown and come on, kid, really a green president? What if I told you that a president could look like this?

Could these poor little crackers even imagine that a president could be white? I want you guys to draw what you think a president looks like. Try to find the colors that you think work best. Three two one reveal. I saw brown and brown and come on, kid, really a green president? What if I told you that a president could look like this?

I can't.

I can't.

You need to see that, you get you can't.

You need to see that, you get you can't.

It's a white crayon.

It's a white crayon.

Imagine imagine a president could look white? Is what I'm saying, that we could have a white president.

Imagine imagine a president could look white? Is what I'm saying, that we could have a white president.

It's it's hard to be a president. You have to like do so many things.

It's it's hard to be a president. You have to like do so many things.

But Francesca, what I'm saying is that you could be president.

But Francesca, what I'm saying is that you could be president.

You don't. You don't have to think you can't do it.

You don't. You don't have to think you can't do it.

I'm not saying that all white people are bad, but some of them are.

I'm not saying that all white people are bad, but some of them are.

I feel like this is this white self hatred where you don't think you can be great. Luckily, with Ben Carson dropping out of the race and Hillary and Donald leading the pack, there's a good chance the next president will be whiter than a game of ultimate Frisbee at Doubt Nabbey. This is an exciting time for you, guys. You guys have never known a white person in a position of power. I mean outside of like Congress and the Supreme Court, and I think most of the billionaires and actually most of superheroes I think are white, everybody who's played badman. Outside of that, you guys have barely known any white people in positions of power.

I feel like this is this white self hatred where you don't think you can be great. Luckily, with Ben Carson dropping out of the race and Hillary and Donald leading the pack, there's a good chance the next president will be whiter than a game of ultimate Frisbee at Doubt Nabbey. This is an exciting time for you, guys. You guys have never known a white person in a position of power. I mean outside of like Congress and the Supreme Court, and I think most of the billionaires and actually most of superheroes I think are white, everybody who's played badman. Outside of that, you guys have barely known any white people in positions of power.

The thing is, we.

The thing is, we.

All need to as so all men are equal. So we have the dream of being president, and that's great. We should be president too.

All need to as so all men are equal. So we have the dream of being president, and that's great. We should be president too.

So saying white people can be presidents too, yeah, I mean, if we're at the point in our lives where we can have a white president, we might be able to one day have a white Oprah.

So saying white people can be presidents too, yeah, I mean, if we're at the point in our lives where we can have a white president, we might be able to one day have a white Oprah.

The sky's the limit.

The sky's the limit.

And if I could get these milky white poindexters to sound presidential, maybe they'd actually start believing it. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

And if I could get these milky white poindexters to sound presidential, maybe they'd actually start believing it. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

We have to fear fear itself.

We have to fear fear itself.

Read my lips.

Read my lips.

No new taxes, read my lips, No new taxes.

No new taxes, read my lips, No new taxes.

We're gonna build the best wall. We're gonna build the best wall. And who's gonna pay for it?

We're gonna build the best wall. We're gonna build the best wall. And who's gonna pay for it?

And who's gonna pay for it?

And who's gonna pay for it?

Mexico?

Mexico?

Wait ah, Yes, we were teaching them a valuable lesson about.

Wait ah, Yes, we were teaching them a valuable lesson about.

The color matters on the inside, waiting deformed faith. It doesn't matter. I can imagine a white president, I can imagine a black president.

The color matters on the inside, waiting deformed faith. It doesn't matter. I can imagine a white president, I can imagine a black president.

I can imagine anything.

I can imagine anything.

I'm a president mission accomplished, and soon enough, these kids will finally have a role model in the Oval Office they can look up to.

I'm a president mission accomplished, and soon enough, these kids will finally have a role model in the Oval Office they can look up to.

Except for one small problem.

Except for one small problem.

I refuse to vote for Hillary Clinton because she broke the law. She used her own private computer to talk about governmental stuff, so she should get arrested.

I refuse to vote for Hillary Clinton because she broke the law. She used her own private computer to talk about governmental stuff, so she should get arrested.

That is over.

That is over.

This is over.

This is over.

It's over.

It's over.

It doesn't matter anymore.

It doesn't matter anymore.

It's not like she murdered somebody.

It's not like she murdered somebody.

Should we let everybody?

Should we let everybody?

Okay, maybe they just lean a little more to the right.

Okay, maybe they just lean a little more to the right.

Rubio, Cruise and Trump. I think they all act like a bunch of kids. They act like people in preschool.

Rubio, Cruise and Trump. I think they all act like a bunch of kids. They act like people in preschool.

And you should know because you were in preschool, like what four years ago.

And you should know because you were in preschool, like what four years ago.

Yeah, they're fighting over a bunch of nothing. And if they want to do that, then then they should at least go to Jupiter or something.

Yeah, they're fighting over a bunch of nothing. And if they want to do that, then then they should at least go to Jupiter or something.

America's one of the biggest countries in the world. You don't want to act like a bunch of children when you want to become a president like that?

America's one of the biggest countries in the world. You don't want to act like a bunch of children when you want to become a president like that?

Are you afraid a white president might mess it all up, and we'll only have black per from now on.

Are you afraid a white president might mess it all up, and we'll only have black per from now on.

It depends which white president.

It depends which white president.

Okay, well, get ready for Cory Booker in twenty twenty.

Okay, well, get ready for Cory Booker in twenty twenty.

As the Culture Wars ripped through America, one thing that always comes up is the children.

As the Culture Wars ripped through America, one thing that always comes up is the children.

We have one job, and that's to protect our children. Protecting children from you know.

We have one job, and that's to protect our children. Protecting children from you know.

Sexual indoctrination, critical race theory, things like that.

Sexual indoctrination, critical race theory, things like that.

Banning books, especially these books, endangers our children.

Banning books, especially these books, endangers our children.

But as the father of a child about to start school, I wanted to know about how they felt about the Culture Wars, and more importantly, I look, you wanted to know if they thought I was cool. So instead of tweeting about the kids, I decided to talk to them.

But as the father of a child about to start school, I wanted to know about how they felt about the Culture Wars, and more importantly, I look, you wanted to know if they thought I was cool. So instead of tweeting about the kids, I decided to talk to them.

I don't know if you know this, but I'm a little bit older, and there's a lot Okay, you have to let that part. There's a lot of stuff that I'm not aware of. So I'm gonna name something and then you tell me what you think about it. Adults are arguing a lot right now about what you should be learning, what subjects you should be taught, what books you should be reading. But we never asked you, how do you feel about school? What are your favorite books? What books are you guys reading right now?

I don't know if you know this, but I'm a little bit older, and there's a lot Okay, you have to let that part. There's a lot of stuff that I'm not aware of. So I'm gonna name something and then you tell me what you think about it. Adults are arguing a lot right now about what you should be learning, what subjects you should be taught, what books you should be reading. But we never asked you, how do you feel about school? What are your favorite books? What books are you guys reading right now?

I love like racial justice books because I feel like I can relate to that a lot, like they hate you give or like blended.

I love like racial justice books because I feel like I can relate to that a lot, like they hate you give or like blended.

How do you feel about people wanting to ban those books?

How do you feel about people wanting to ban those books?

Not good, because like I feel like you need to This is It's what's happening in the world right now. Like racial injustice is happening right now, and these books are about racial injustice, so people need to learn about it if they want to do something about it.

Not good, because like I feel like you need to This is It's what's happening in the world right now. Like racial injustice is happening right now, and these books are about racial injustice, so people need to learn about it if they want to do something about it.

Do you feel like your teachers are trying to indoctrinate you?

Do you feel like your teachers are trying to indoctrinate you?

No?

No?

Do you know what the word indoctrinate means? Brentley, let's talk about this. Thoughts on the president and the Kurt administration.

Do you know what the word indoctrinate means? Brentley, let's talk about this. Thoughts on the president and the Kurt administration.

I think it's good.

I think it's good.

Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, I like it.

I feel like he's a lot better than Chump in my opinion. Sure, I feel like he's not the best president.

I feel like he's a lot better than Chump in my opinion. Sure, I feel like he's not the best president.

We've definitely have Benu presidents, but he's a big step up from Chrump.

We've definitely have Benu presidents, but he's a big step up from Chrump.

What about this era feels different from other presidential.

What about this era feels different from other presidential.

He's definitely older than other presidents.

He's definitely older than other presidents.

How old is too old to be president?

How old is too old to be president?

Too old to be president is an age where you're scared that you might not live to see the next day because a country is depending on you to run them. Also, as long as you don't have any like mental health problems, like say you have dementia and you're sort of losing your memory.

Too old to be president is an age where you're scared that you might not live to see the next day because a country is depending on you to run them. Also, as long as you don't have any like mental health problems, like say you have dementia and you're sort of losing your memory.

A little bit.

A little bit.

Yeah, and people with dementia, they're perfectly good people, but they're probably not the best kind of person to run a country because they might not remember everything.

Yeah, and people with dementia, they're perfectly good people, but they're probably not the best kind of person to run a country because they might not remember everything.

Yeah, you're eerily describing what Joseph ar Biden is going through right now now. Sometimes people say when you criticize people of a certain age that are that could be ageist. Hey, you can't do that because of your age, But that happens all the time with you. Yes, people tell you can't do things because of your age. What's something adults tell you that's agis?

Yeah, you're eerily describing what Joseph ar Biden is going through right now now. Sometimes people say when you criticize people of a certain age that are that could be ageist. Hey, you can't do that because of your age, But that happens all the time with you. Yes, people tell you can't do things because of your age. What's something adults tell you that's agis?

I feel like it's always like something to do with when I go to bed?

I feel like it's always like something to do with when I go to bed?

What time is your bedtime?

What time is your bedtime?

Mosta like eight forty five that's what they wanted to be. But I feel like there's like study of this show, like you only need eight hours of sweep?

Mosta like eight forty five that's what they wanted to be. But I feel like there's like study of this show, like you only need eight hours of sweep?

What would be what would be the time that you want? Give me a time, let's pitch, let's work this out. What time do you want to go to.

What would be what would be the time that you want? Give me a time, let's pitch, let's work this out. What time do you want to go to.

Sleep only like thirty mites aftway.

Sleep only like thirty mites aftway.

Let's try it. I'm gonna be your dad, and I'm gonna tell you to go to bed, and you tell me, Quinn, go to bed, young man. It's eight forty seven pm.

Let's try it. I'm gonna be your dad, and I'm gonna tell you to go to bed, and you tell me, Quinn, go to bed, young man. It's eight forty seven pm.

That's ages.

That's ages.

I like that. A lot of the things that I'm talking about right now, you don't have a lot of control over, but there is something you do control culture. So let's talk about pop culture.

I like that. A lot of the things that I'm talking about right now, you don't have a lot of control over, but there is something you do control culture. So let's talk about pop culture.

Elon Musk billionaire, he owns Desk and SpaceX, Twitter, I mean Twitter.

Elon Musk billionaire, he owns Desk and SpaceX, Twitter, I mean Twitter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think he's doing a good job running Twitter? Quinn, how are you feeling about I.

Do you think he's doing a good job running Twitter? Quinn, how are you feeling about I.

Think he's gonna get pretty badly because he did a bunch of stuff that's not good, right, Yeah, have a bunch of things and tried to just make the much.

Think he's gonna get pretty badly because he did a bunch of stuff that's not good, right, Yeah, have a bunch of things and tried to just make the much.

Money out of it.

Money out of it.

But he actually lost a lot of money while he got Twitter and the stocks went down a lot.

But he actually lost a lot of money while he got Twitter and the stocks went down a lot.

What would you do if you were him to turn it around?

What would you do if you were him to turn it around?

Sell it to a bigger company for decent place.

Sell it to a bigger company for decent place.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think he's lost a lot of the money though, because.

I think he's lost a lot of the money though, because.

It's like giving up. No, no, he kills about it anymore?

It's like giving up. No, no, he kills about it anymore?

Got it? Taylor Swift, hero.

Got it? Taylor Swift, hero.

Icon villain, I think her music is awesome, amazing, I don't really love her as a person.

Icon villain, I think her music is awesome, amazing, I don't really love her as a person.

What about her as a person?

What about her as a person?

That was just like, no, I don't know.

That was just like, no, I don't know.

She just doesn't sit right with me.

She just doesn't sit right with me.

I guess, Okay, any other thoughts on t Swift?

I guess, Okay, any other thoughts on t Swift?

I don't really know a lot about her, and I don't want to say things about topics I don't know about.

I don't really know a lot about her, and I don't want to say things about topics I don't know about.

So that's all I really know.

So that's all I really know.

So you're just saying if you don't know about something, you'll just say, hey, I don't know, or I don't have an opinion about that. It's really refreshing, bad bunny? What what does that mean?

So you're just saying if you don't know about something, you'll just say, hey, I don't know, or I don't have an opinion about that. It's really refreshing, bad bunny? What what does that mean?

I love him, but I don't think my age should be listening to it. If you if you don't understand Spanish, then it's like, okay, it's really good.

I love him, but I don't think my age should be listening to it. If you if you don't understand Spanish, then it's like, okay, it's really good.

But if you.

But if you.

Understand it, yeah, whoa, whoa.

Understand it, yeah, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, there's there's lots of artists whose music is really good, but their person them is a person themselves is not great.

Yeah, there's there's lots of artists whose music is really good, but their person them is a person themselves is not great.

So how do you resolve that? What do you guys do?

So how do you resolve that? What do you guys do?

What?

What?

How do you come to terms with that?

How do you come to terms with that?

I listened to.

I listened to.

We're gonna do and you know what, You're gonna keep dealing with this even as an adult and they're gonna write think pieces about it, and there's gonna be no real solution.

We're gonna do and you know what, You're gonna keep dealing with this even as an adult and they're gonna write think pieces about it, and there's gonna be no real solution.

I mean, even with like movies and actors who are probably not the best people, you can still enjoy their work and not appreciate the bad things that they have done.

I mean, even with like movies and actors who are probably not the best people, you can still enjoy their work and not appreciate the bad things that they have done.

Got it, Yeah, I can.

Got it, Yeah, I can.

Definitely agree with that.

Definitely agree with that.

Like, so, I personally am like a superhero fan yea, And the Flash Cheeser Grub was released, right, and there's like a lot of controversy around Ezra Miller and like what he's done, but like the movie itself looks really good, so you have to be.

Like, so, I personally am like a superhero fan yea, And the Flash Cheeser Grub was released, right, and there's like a lot of controversy around Ezra Miller and like what he's done, but like the movie itself looks really good, so you have to be.

Able to respect that.

Able to respect that.

This all sounds like very reasonable, nuanced opinions. I suggest you never put that opinion on Twitter. Yeah, it sounds like, you know, you are understanding that the world is a complicated, great place and things aren't as binary as you think. And I'm just giving you fair warning from the future. People aren't gonna want to hear that. So are you gonna go to the movie?

This all sounds like very reasonable, nuanced opinions. I suggest you never put that opinion on Twitter. Yeah, it sounds like, you know, you are understanding that the world is a complicated, great place and things aren't as binary as you think. And I'm just giving you fair warning from the future. People aren't gonna want to hear that. So are you gonna go to the movie?

I might just kind of wait until it goes on streaming something like that, probably, got it?

I might just kind of wait until it goes on streaming something like that, probably, got it?

Is that because of Ezra or just because just because I.

Is that because of Ezra or just because just because I.

Mean, I'm not sure that I want to go to the movie. For that or it's just I'm kind of more of like a stay at home type of guy.

Mean, I'm not sure that I want to go to the movie. For that or it's just I'm kind of more of like a stay at home type of guy.

Okay, Yeah, when you're a member of society, you have to pay taxes. How much should you pay taxes? Like what percentage?

Okay, Yeah, when you're a member of society, you have to pay taxes. How much should you pay taxes? Like what percentage?

It should really depend on, Like if you're a billionaire and like you pay less taxes.

It should really depend on, Like if you're a billionaire and like you pay less taxes.

Than what about you personally? Like if you had a fruit by the foot, how much of that fruit by the foot should go to the government and how much should belong to you?

Than what about you personally? Like if you had a fruit by the foot, how much of that fruit by the foot should go to the government and how much should belong to you?

Maybe like below twenty five? Below twenty five, yes, twenty five and below.

Maybe like below twenty five? Below twenty five, yes, twenty five and below.

Yeah, the candy caman island over here, you got it like a little place where.

Yeah, the candy caman island over here, you got it like a little place where.

You're twenty five at most, I would say, I think below.

You're twenty five at most, I would say, I think below.

There's a fruit by the foot. Okay, Quinn, let's talk about it. You're a member of society. You're gonna get a paycheck one day. You're gonna see a number on it. It's called gross. But that's not gross. You know it's gross. The number below it, it's called net. There's another thing called fika. That's what's making your net happen. We can get into that later, but it's really gonna fica. You over now, looking at this fruit by the foot. How much would the government get.

There's a fruit by the foot. Okay, Quinn, let's talk about it. You're a member of society. You're gonna get a paycheck one day. You're gonna see a number on it. It's called gross. But that's not gross. You know it's gross. The number below it, it's called net. There's another thing called fika. That's what's making your net happen. We can get into that later, but it's really gonna fica. You over now, looking at this fruit by the foot. How much would the government get.

Quinn, probably like.

Quinn, probably like.

Thirty percent. Ste up to hear.

Thirty percent. Ste up to hear.

I say it's like thirty lower lower.

I say it's like thirty lower lower.

You want to lower, sofia, No, I think that's like.

You want to lower, sofia, No, I think that's like.

Thirty or twenty five thirty twenty five years.

Thirty or twenty five thirty twenty five years.

So nothing over forty percent, nothing over forty. Oh forty is way too much.

So nothing over forty percent, nothing over forty. Oh forty is way too much.

Wait, no, I'm learning this in math. No way, forty is a.

Wait, no, I'm learning this in math. No way, forty is a.

Past forty Right here, it's forty, But that goes That goes to schools, roads.

Past forty Right here, it's forty, But that goes That goes to schools, roads.

Oh that makes you feel guilty.

Oh that makes you feel guilty.

Now you feel guilty, right, It depends on your income. You want to be an active participant and a good participant in a society. It's got to match what was happening in the seventies and eighties. We're gonna go eighty percent. That's yours. This is yours. This goes to schools, roads, highways, et cetera. Now, if you take this, you're a good person. But if you don't, you're a part of the problem. This is something a lot of men in their thirties talk about feelings. How do you process things when you're sad or angry?

Now you feel guilty, right, It depends on your income. You want to be an active participant and a good participant in a society. It's got to match what was happening in the seventies and eighties. We're gonna go eighty percent. That's yours. This is yours. This goes to schools, roads, highways, et cetera. Now, if you take this, you're a good person. But if you don't, you're a part of the problem. This is something a lot of men in their thirties talk about feelings. How do you process things when you're sad or angry?

I kind of get mad at my parents.

I kind of get mad at my parents.

When I get mad at them, I kind of don't like him, and I only go to my room, But like they'll come in and they always think they're right, so they're never gonna apologize.

When I get mad at them, I kind of don't like him, and I only go to my room, But like they'll come in and they always think they're right, so they're never gonna apologize.

They want to be right when sometimes they're not right, Like they just can't say sorry sometimes.

They want to be right when sometimes they're not right, Like they just can't say sorry sometimes.

But if parents said sorry, then that means parents and children are equal. Well, you can't have that.

But if parents said sorry, then that means parents and children are equal. Well, you can't have that.

You can't.

You can't.

Do you have any advice for just like a hypothetical adult that sometimes feels overwhelmed and at times doesn't believe in themselves and think they're not good enough.

Do you have any advice for just like a hypothetical adult that sometimes feels overwhelmed and at times doesn't believe in themselves and think they're not good enough.

It like take a blake, go do something fun with some people you know, and then try to go back to it and try to go out and see your friends are your friends?

It like take a blake, go do something fun with some people you know, and then try to go back to it and try to go out and see your friends are your friends?

What if the hypothetical person is thirty seven years old and men of that age don't really hang out with one another.

What if the hypothetical person is thirty seven years old and men of that age don't really hang out with one another.

I would say this hypothetical person, if you're trying to like convoy your feelings without feeling any pressure, maybe you should seek a therapist for that. If you're trying to express your feelings, you.

I would say this hypothetical person, if you're trying to like convoy your feelings without feeling any pressure, maybe you should seek a therapist for that. If you're trying to express your feelings, you.

Need like an outlet or something that just distracts you from all the problems. And then that adds up to when you feel comfortable to express your feelings. To other people like a therapist.

Need like an outlet or something that just distracts you from all the problems. And then that adds up to when you feel comfortable to express your feelings. To other people like a therapist.

I'm sad. I'm sad. They're sad. They are sad. What's what are you most scared of?

I'm sad. I'm sad. They're sad. They are sad. What's what are you most scared of?

I'm actually a y scared of death and what happens after.

I'm actually a y scared of death and what happens after.

Yes, and I'm also scared of like gusting spiders.

Yes, and I'm also scared of like gusting spiders.

What scares you most about death?

What scares you most about death?

Sofian, I like think about it so much at night because when I'm at night, like, I just think about it. And then like I f like, when you when you die, how does it feel the process of dying? And then when you die? Is it just like a blink screen or like or is there like another life or you're gonna be like walking through a tunnel? Is their heaven or how?

Sofian, I like think about it so much at night because when I'm at night, like, I just think about it. And then like I f like, when you when you die, how does it feel the process of dying? And then when you die? Is it just like a blink screen or like or is there like another life or you're gonna be like walking through a tunnel? Is their heaven or how?

I'm like, jab, are you scared of death?

I'm like, jab, are you scared of death?

Uh? Kind? I used to be.

Uh? Kind? I used to be.

I used to be like extremely scared, but then I kind of like got over the fear, peace support for my family.

I used to be like extremely scared, but then I kind of like got over the fear, peace support for my family.

It wasn't that bad though.

It wasn't that bad though.

I'm pretty sure there's a study that's shown like someone they were like dying or something and they were like there was a like a piece of technology connected to their brain and sure that they were like reliving their entire life at their death.

I'm pretty sure there's a study that's shown like someone they were like dying or something and they were like there was a like a piece of technology connected to their brain and sure that they were like reliving their entire life at their death.

Wait, what great are you when again. Uh six sixth? Why are you having this nuanced perspective? Java? Why?

Wait, what great are you when again. Uh six sixth? Why are you having this nuanced perspective? Java? Why?

I guess that's just my personality.

I guess that's just my personality.

Are the things adults tell you that you're like, no way, I don't believe that.

Are the things adults tell you that you're like, no way, I don't believe that.

Sometimes, Like when they said something when I was younger, I thought they were lying.

Sometimes, Like when they said something when I was younger, I thought they were lying.

Like what what did they say that? You're like, that's not true.

Like what what did they say that? You're like, that's not true.

If you bore your eyes toom, we're just gonna get stuck up there.

If you bore your eyes toom, we're just gonna get stuck up there.

I used to cross my eyes. I would do it like as a jogo. Yeah, and then my teacher like, your eyes stuck that way exactly?

I used to cross my eyes. I would do it like as a jogo. Yeah, and then my teacher like, your eyes stuck that way exactly?

Is that not true? Wait? I thought that would actually happen.

Is that not true? Wait? I thought that would actually happen.

Go ahead, what's up?

Go ahead, what's up?

So as I know if your parents ever told you when you turned the car like the car laid on like that, it's illegal to leave it on. Yeah, I found out it's not illegal.

So as I know if your parents ever told you when you turned the car like the car laid on like that, it's illegal to leave it on. Yeah, I found out it's not illegal.

How did you find out?

How did you find out?

You just?

You just?

I saw it on like YouTube. I'm like, what the heck?

I saw it on like YouTube. I'm like, what the heck?

Wait?

Wait?

Are you distrapped? Mallory talks to me.

Are you distrapped? Mallory talks to me.

I thought everything I said was true. Like I thought my eyes would get stuck that way. I thought my eyes would never come back around.

I thought everything I said was true. Like I thought my eyes would get stuck that way. I thought my eyes would never come back around.

Wait? Is this like an internal dad conspiracy thing where they're all telling each other. Real quick, raise your hands. If your parents limit your screen time only on moveing day, does that make you upset? Quinn?

Wait? Is this like an internal dad conspiracy thing where they're all telling each other. Real quick, raise your hands. If your parents limit your screen time only on moveing day, does that make you upset? Quinn?

Well, they failed, so I this is down. I tune it off.

Well, they failed, so I this is down. I tune it off.

Wait no, but you have to put in a password to get around the screen.

Wait no, but you have to put in a password to get around the screen.

Time walk I just stump out.

Time walk I just stump out.

I thought it's supposed to be Wow, good.

I thought it's supposed to be Wow, good.

Proof it's not.

Proof it's not.

So there's this app kids Walks, and it's the easiest thing. You turn off the settings, can go to VPN and then you go to you see it and you take it off.

So there's this app kids Walks, and it's the easiest thing. You turn off the settings, can go to VPN and then you go to you see it and you take it off.

Your parents don't don't know that you cracked the kid's locks.

Your parents don't don't know that you cracked the kid's locks.

Well now they don't.

Well now they don't.

Okay, real quick, raise your hands. If you have an iPad, everyone, hands down, raise your hand right now. If you could trade in your dad for a brand new iPad? No, okay, no, the twelve point nine inch.

Okay, real quick, raise your hands. If you have an iPad, everyone, hands down, raise your hand right now. If you could trade in your dad for a brand new iPad? No, okay, no, the twelve point nine inch.

One No no, no, Why then my dad he can pay for my iPad if he alady bought an iPad.

One No no, no, Why then my dad he can pay for my iPad if he alady bought an iPad.

For Wait oh, because he can pay for an iPad, So you keep that around because he is a financial source of other.

For Wait oh, because he can pay for an iPad, So you keep that around because he is a financial source of other.

No, that's not the one any reason.

No, that's not the one any reason.

Let's talk about social media. Are we on social media? TikTok? Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, I feel.

Let's talk about social media. Are we on social media? TikTok? Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, I feel.

Like Twitter is I think it's old people.

Like Twitter is I think it's old people.

Yea turn into like you know, like Facebook, like dive is kind of like dying Twitter.

Yea turn into like you know, like Facebook, like dive is kind of like dying Twitter.

Twitter has a more It's kind of known for being more toxic. I feel like having more toxic or something like that. Yeah, yeah, it's very toxict.

Twitter has a more It's kind of known for being more toxic. I feel like having more toxic or something like that. Yeah, yeah, it's very toxict.

What is toxic mean?

What is toxic mean?

It's someone that like doesn't like like you and they kind of point out like maybe some insecurities about you and stuff, or talk bad about him.

It's someone that like doesn't like like you and they kind of point out like maybe some insecurities about you and stuff, or talk bad about him.

Yeah, kind of like saying negative things, being negative towards other people.

Yeah, kind of like saying negative things, being negative towards other people.

Could you survive if someone took your phone?

Could you survive if someone took your phone?

Yes, yes, entirely because I'm yeah, I don't have my phone right now, because there's like so many other things you can do, just like outside your phone, just like activities.

Yes, yes, entirely because I'm yeah, I don't have my phone right now, because there's like so many other things you can do, just like outside your phone, just like activities.

Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm what what does that mean? Why?

Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm what what does that mean? Why?

I feel like my phone? It's just like it's like if I need help, I could call the police police.

I feel like my phone? It's just like it's like if I need help, I could call the police police.

My dad is obsessed with Twitter.

My dad is obsessed with Twitter.

Do you think Twitter's good for him?

Do you think Twitter's good for him?

Maybe a little less would be good, But I don't think it's getting out of hand?

Maybe a little less would be good, But I don't think it's getting out of hand?

Got it? Do you want to join Twitter based on the way your dad uses it?

Got it? Do you want to join Twitter based on the way your dad uses it?

Not?

Not?

Really?

Really?

I don't have much interest in social media.

I don't have much interest in social media.

Are your parents on the phone too much?

Are your parents on the phone too much?

I feel like my dad always says I'm on the phone too much, but kind of every time I look at him, he's always on a slack or something.

I feel like my dad always says I'm on the phone too much, but kind of every time I look at him, he's always on a slack or something.

I just don't get off your.

I just don't get off your.

Phone, Dad, Get it off your chest. This is your chance to tell us off. Go to that camera and just tell them what's up.

Phone, Dad, Get it off your chest. This is your chance to tell us off. Go to that camera and just tell them what's up.

Get off your phone, Dad, need to maintain a better will life balance.

Get off your phone, Dad, need to maintain a better will life balance.

You heard him, parents, stop watching this on your phone and go hang out with your kids.

You heard him, parents, stop watching this on your phone and go hang out with your kids.

In the last few decades, women.

In the last few decades, women.

Have made big strides in the workplace.

Have made big strides in the workplace.

We're no longer getting harassed while wearing big, ugly shoulder pads.

We're no longer getting harassed while wearing big, ugly shoulder pads.

It's twenty twenty three.

It's twenty twenty three.

Now we're getting harassed while wearing super cool big shoulder pads. Needless to say, corporate women still face challenges.

Now we're getting harassed while wearing super cool big shoulder pads. Needless to say, corporate women still face challenges.

When it comes to the CEOs of the largest companies, women are still vastly underrepresented. There are currently thirty eight female CEOs at the S and P five hundred, and women CEOs are forty five percent more likely to be fired than their male counterparts. There's also evidence that women who are appointed to the top job aren't necessarily set up for success. High level women are often promoted during a time of crisis. It's a phenomenon called the glass cliff.

When it comes to the CEOs of the largest companies, women are still vastly underrepresented. There are currently thirty eight female CEOs at the S and P five hundred, and women CEOs are forty five percent more likely to be fired than their male counterparts. There's also evidence that women who are appointed to the top job aren't necessarily set up for success. High level women are often promoted during a time of crisis. It's a phenomenon called the glass cliff.

Women who negotiate are sixty seven percent more likely than women who don't receive feedback that their personal style is intimidating, to aggressive or bossy.

Women who negotiate are sixty seven percent more likely than women who don't receive feedback that their personal style is intimidating, to aggressive or bossy.

When women have a child, their earnings decline for each child by four percent. Wow, whereas men there's a fatherhood bonus and they actually earn more when they have children.

When women have a child, their earnings decline for each child by four percent. Wow, whereas men there's a fatherhood bonus and they actually earn more when they have children.

It's called a motherhood penalty. That's right.

It's called a motherhood penalty. That's right.

It's it's really hard to be a woman in the corporate world. And they didn't even mention the fact that the office is always so freaking cold, So no wonder women have to work harder.

It's it's really hard to be a woman in the corporate world. And they didn't even mention the fact that the office is always so freaking cold, So no wonder women have to work harder.

It's the only thing that will keep us warm.

It's the only thing that will keep us warm.

With all the challenges women are facing in the workplace, I thought it was important to offer some mentorship to the next generation of female leaders.

With all the challenges women are facing in the workplace, I thought it was important to offer some mentorship to the next generation of female leaders.

Take a look. Hi everybody. Hi, my name is Deasi, and.

Take a look. Hi everybody. Hi, my name is Deasi, and.

Today I'm going to tell you how to climb your way to the top of the corporate ladder, just like the boys. And sometimes it means play and dirty and sometimes it's going to be an uphill battle.

Today I'm going to tell you how to climb your way to the top of the corporate ladder, just like the boys. And sometimes it means play and dirty and sometimes it's going to be an uphill battle.

All right, Look to.

All right, Look to.

The person to your right now, look at the person to your left. Okay, we're still learning rights and left. By the end of today, only one of you will remain.

The person to your right now, look at the person to your left. Okay, we're still learning rights and left. By the end of today, only one of you will remain.

Doubly.

Doubly.

Yes, we don't want to be boys, but we should be like the boys. Not in a way that we're like the boys, but we're going to be like empowered women and we're going to get extreams accomplished. Then we're going to get money the wh were going to put in our bank account and get more money.

Yes, we don't want to be boys, but we should be like the boys. Not in a way that we're like the boys, but we're going to be like empowered women and we're going to get extreams accomplished. Then we're going to get money the wh were going to put in our bank account and get more money.

Yeah, because you've worked for it, And I think, what did she?

Yeah, because you've worked for it, And I think, what did she?

What is the key takeaway is that we want to.

What is the key takeaway is that we want to.

Beat the boys?

Beat the boys?

Yeah, but what we want to fill our pockets with my Okay, who here knows what a CEO is?

Yeah, but what we want to fill our pockets with my Okay, who here knows what a CEO is?

No, nobody knows.

No, nobody knows.

You're up. You want to be a CEO? Sure, do you know what a CEO is?

You're up. You want to be a CEO? Sure, do you know what a CEO is?

No?

No?

Chief executive officer?

Chief executive officer?

I have no idea the boss.

I have no idea the boss.

So like you're like, you know how a teacher is the leader of the classroom. Oh yeah, and they're in control of everything happening in the classroom. Oh yeah, it's just like that, except they don't have to pay out of pocket for office supplies.

So like you're like, you know how a teacher is the leader of the classroom. Oh yeah, and they're in control of everything happening in the classroom. Oh yeah, it's just like that, except they don't have to pay out of pocket for office supplies.

So okay.

So okay.

Part of making it to the top of corporate America is knowing how to negotiate for yourself?

Part of making it to the top of corporate America is knowing how to negotiate for yourself?

Do you know what that means?

Do you know what that means?

No?

No?

No, what does it mean to negotiate? Oh?

No, what does it mean to negotiate? Oh?

Okay?

Okay?

The most important thing about negotiating for a raise is that you're touting your accomplishments. What chores have you been doing lately? Have you been adding value to your family? Have you been, say, helping your brother tie his shoes? That's mentorship.

The most important thing about negotiating for a raise is that you're touting your accomplishments. What chores have you been doing lately? Have you been adding value to your family? Have you been, say, helping your brother tie his shoes? That's mentorship.

I don't know how to tie shoes.

I don't know how to tie shoes.

Do you know how to slip on a pair of pumps?

Do you know how to slip on a pair of pumps?

Oh?

Oh?

Yes, and it doesn't matter.

Yes, and it doesn't matter.

Okay.

Okay.

Do any of you want to be Mommy's Mommy's.

Do any of you want to be Mommy's Mommy's.

Wonderful?

Wonderful?

That'll be forty thousand dollars up front. Oh, it's called the mommy tax.

That'll be forty thousand dollars up front. Oh, it's called the mommy tax.

Nobody has that kind of money?

Nobody has that kind of money?

What about nine thousands?

What about nine thousands?

I like the attempt to negotiate, but no, it's a hard and fast forty grand No, okay.

I like the attempt to negotiate, but no, it's a hard and fast forty grand No, okay.

There are two types of CEOs.

There are two types of CEOs.

Has anyone here heard of Elizabeth Holmes or Anna Delby?

Has anyone here heard of Elizabeth Holmes or Anna Delby?

Is Anna Delby the Persian who has pretended to be like the Russian heiress or whatever?

Is Anna Delby the Persian who has pretended to be like the Russian heiress or whatever?

Why?

Why?

Yes she is? You are my prize student. Here's the lesson we learn.

Yes she is? You are my prize student. Here's the lesson we learn.

You only know the names of the women who have done illegal things. Okay, Belle, congratulations, you are now our new CEO.

You only know the names of the women who have done illegal things. Okay, Belle, congratulations, you are now our new CEO.

You now get to clean up the mess of the previous CEO.

You now get to clean up the mess of the previous CEO.

Mates. What the the CEO school.

Mates. What the the CEO school.

Yes it is, but it's not always fair. I'm keeping the bag. I'm not playing that out and that is how we negotiate.

Yes it is, but it's not always fair. I'm keeping the bag. I'm not playing that out and that is how we negotiate.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by change The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by change The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten.

Central on Comedy Central and.

Central on Comedy Central and.

Stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

Stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.

This has been a Comedy Central podcast now

This has been a Comedy Central podcast now