You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow, what's up, Bears Edition listener, It's Josh Johnson right for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original daily show podcasts, Hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show correspondent Duel Say Sloan, is where we take our office banter into a weekly war words about topics big and small. In this episode, we're talking chicken sandwiches versus hamburgers. We debate over our favorite option based on ranges in taste, temperature, and flavor. Tune in to find out which side of the debate we each land on. And if you like the show, check out the Hold Up podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your taste buds, give it that mouth tell you. Welcome to Hold Up everyone. I'm one of your co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for the show. Okay, I'm joyed by slow. Okay, I didn't know if you're really gonna let that pause sit there? All right, you are joined by Dulse Lizarious Sloane. It is me, welcoming you, Welcome in me. Hello's your ears attlettle. All right, well today, why you always looks not annoyed? Its tongue don't work. Look, my tongue works, all right. I'm using it right now to form words, so it works. If my tongue didn't work, it would just be a but it's not. It's fully formed words. Oh if you have a tongue. If you don't have a tongue, probably if your tongue didn't have any muscle to it, it would just be hanging and you'd be like own, tell you, yeah, you sound like Charlie Brown's daddy. Well yo, if I get a message from somebody to talk about they don't have a tongue, I am gonna laugh. Yeah, they don't have a tomb, but they have thumbs, so they have. I'm gonna let you die they feel Yeah, oh bet thumbs extra fast. Today's episode is about in a way, in a sense, it might be it might end up that way. If you start you start start off just saying wild things, then maybe it's gonna be about you and your opinions. But right now it's about chicken sandwiches versus burgers. See, okay, which which place do you land? Ask yourself? Truly? All right. Do you like a nice juicy burger in between whatever your favorite type of bread is, Briosh sour dough, if anything that you like as a sandwich. This is the battle of sandwich is right? That we got chicken sandwich just coming in? Do you like them chopped like a barbecue? Do you like them hold like some Chick fil a? What do you what do you like? What? Is it a file a situation? Do you just want to cram a piece of breast meat in between the two buns, sauce it up real good and eat it up? Maybe that's your whole vibe. No sandwich is wrong in this scenario. It's just about which one is better. Okay, So Josh tell the people. First of all, I'm gonna let everybody ever to get people time to guess, play the music. Josh telling people where you stand on this, because I don't think that they I think this is gonna be like the chocolate of Vanilla situation. They're gonna think that they know, but they don't. Let me tell you the crime and the superior superior sounds racist. Go ahead, and that's just it's a word. This can't be attached to the thing. All the time, some things are just better. Come on, let me so you are just talking about the supremacy, the sandwich supremacy, the full sandwich supremacy of the burger. All right, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all knew he was gonna say that. What else would he say? Let me? Let me tell you right now, Come on in a burger, Come on in a sandwich as old as time, Like Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, the beauty is the bread. The beast is the meat. The beauty and the beast of sandwiches. It's too good, and it's too classic, and it's too versatile. Bobby Besha I heard in a wild Listen. I have a question, m M, do you only consist? Would you partake in a burger? Okay that wasn't on a bunt? Did you grow up eating burgers on bunts? It's a part of my life I'd like to forget. Okay, So you okay like me? M. Your mother didn't always buy buns or we we had the mismatch of bun to meet ratio that only happens with hot dogs. No, no, no, because sometimes you can buy uh if you buy like package to burgers like frozen package burgers. You might you might get twelve in the in the box of frozen burgers, but then in the actual bun package, there's uh, there's eight. And they gotta do that. I remember comment talking about that hot dog hot dog bun math just for the ways of the numbers. To get even, you gotta buy forty of each. Yeah. Yeah, that's where you meet up with it. Okay, that's why people at barbecues don't have a problem, because they got so many that it lined up right, you know. I can't say that there were times where sorry, I'm sorry, what what remember? No, it's just funny. Reminded me of I remember in Chicago, which of my friends as he was having a hot dog, but he just had the regular sliced bread. I remember saying to him. I was like, oh man, we really are poor, huh because it's not like the hot dog bun is that much more expensive, you know what I mean, Like it's really still just bread. But the fact that he was like, all right, dog, look all I really got is these uh is these uh what's it called? Was it bunny bread? He's like, all really, guys, buddy bread? And I was like, oh, okay, but here's the thing, though, he's being the most cost effective. Yeah, what you have to do when you are broke, Yes, I'm with you. All I know is I got so accustomed yeah yeah to eating. Not that we didn't have the money, but a lot of times it was just down to, like, I'm not a big bread person to start with. Oh I see, yeah, yeah, I do like the hot dog bunt though, but a lot really but what but a lot of time a hot dog buns, I end up pulling a lot of the bread off. Okay, who's on a hot dog bun? One side I was thicker than the other anyway, what but they cook hot dog buns. The base of a hot dog bun, isn't the bottom The side of a hot dog bun is at actually the bottom okay, bakes up, it fluffs up, but then you're cutting it through the middle. But then isn't that middle So can't that middle be even? Sometimes? Because I feel like it's it's not as it's not always super even. What I'm saying is that, Okay, a lot of times the hot dog buns I end up pulling them out of the bread off anyway. Yeah, but with hamburger buns. Sometimes it would be too much bread. So because I'm not a bread person to start with. So when my mom would make burgers, she would do it with regular bread and I loved it. Yeah, because she bought hot dog because like when people buy burger, Like, she bought burger buns one time for like, because you're My birthday is July four, so I've been at every fucking barber on the planet. She bought buns one time and they were for like there were the people that were coming. And I was like, okay, but did you get regular bread? And She's like, I got buns. I was like, but did you hear regular bread? M I got bunns? Is I gonna ask you? That's not that's not gonna help me. I need the particular bread we're gonna do smush this other bread to make this work. I don't want to do this for you. So what I'm saying is I prefer if I'm gonna have an amburgessa mm hmm, like a restaurant, obviously you're not getting a regular bread. But like now that you can get a burger as a rap because you know, I love tortilla, So now that you can get a burger as a rap game changer. Okay, okay, game changer. Let me tell you now. What I also want you to tell me is how the the deeply stunted I'll just say stunted because it's not its fault. It can only be one thing, the chicken sandwich. Tell me how that matches up in any way to the verse utility that burgers bring to the table. Before I address this at tech, what I will do is proved you proved to me the versatilit tie. Okay, I can do it real quick, do a real quick um temperature for one, you can get a burger depending on where you are. You know, not every place does it, but it is possible with burgers to get something rare, medium, medium, well well done. Temperature alone adds four times to whatever type of burger you want to have. You I mean, okay, but that's just the nature of beef. Yeah's cooking chicken. Yeah, at different temperatures. No, we agree? So are you just you can only enjoy your chicken one way cooked? Yeah, but there's different levels of cook to beef, which means there's different levels of cook to burger. This point that you're making, right, now is so wild it sounds like I said, Oh no, no, no no, This point that I'm making right now should be opening your mind. Listen, all right, if you want, you can cook chicken at any temperature you want. Will you make it out alive? Hold the fuck? No? But there's nothing stopping you from cooking chicken at different temperatures. No, No, what's stopping you is it won't be It will be nasty if you have rare chicken. You know what I'm saying. Even the idea right now is disgusting to me. Whereas, how do we know? What do you mean? How do we know? Don't try to give me the poison myself. I'm just saying, how do we know? Has anyone tried? Yes, and they've all died of salmonella poisoning. Hey baby, my sickness or my fitness. But you're gonna get out of here somewhere. Yeah, saying this how you look something? Yeah? Because I thought the wildest because like I thought the wildest thing was a steak being rare. Yeah, there is a lower temperature than rare. You know blue? Yeah, that's horrifying. Blue is I don't even play with blue at all. I don't even entertain the idea, Like if somebody gets a blue steak in front of me, I'm like, I thank you so much for telling me you were a killer. For those that don't know, when you order something blue, it's it's literally just slightly slightly touched on both sides by a hot pan to kill any bacteria and then serve to you like it makes sense. Cold blue is because it's still cold. Yeah, it's not even seared to the point of sealing it. And like it's not even like a rare one, like rare is you know, the it can potentially be cold in the middle. We're talking about a straight up steak that they were just like we flipped it on the pan twice to get rid of any liability on our side. But if you want to eat it like this, go ahead, have at it. But what's the difference between that and a beef tartar? Because beef tartar is completely uncooked beef. Not only have I never entertained the idea of a beef tartar, I refuse to look at a menu or a plate with a beef tartar on it because there are people in this world I don't I don't understand them, and I don't. I don't think I know anyone personally, but the amount of people that I've seen have beef tartar with an uncooked egg on top. Bro I was just going to say, that is violence, all right. If you want to know what you can do going into twenty twenty three to be a better person, not that, stop doing that. Whatever whatever led you there, seek the help you need get out. That is such a whole horror rififying sight to see to see a raw egg on top of some raw beef, and then to just see somebody go to town. The first time I saw it, I actually thought it was it was fear Factor. I was watching a cooking channel and I thought, no, it has no nerd to be on the cooking channel. You didn't cook anything. I must have changed the channel to fear Factor. Joe Rogan is going to pop up in any second because this is a challenge, Yes that should only be taking place on network TV. Yes, for the good of the money of the company. Yes. And then when I found out it was a quote unquote dish, I was furious. Now there are people that are gonna say, hey, this is a dish of my culture. Because I don't think this is just why people to eat this. I think people of color in places do eat this. So we're not shitting because again I don't want your as people who consume American food, right, mm hmm, raw beef will make you sick? Yeah, because this is why I don't understand about this disch. Remember it would tell us not to eat cake batter because there was a raw egg in it and you might get salmonella. I wow, I'm glad to talk to you today because I made it through my whole life without ever hearing that that's why you were supposed to eat cake batter? Did that stop me and anybody I know? Fuck? No, I never know anybody get sick. No, No, I did not know that. You think I got sick making a dunking hind chocolate cake because I put two eggs in a third of a couple of oil in it. Now I'm here to tell the tale, Okay, I just for one just thinking about this making me noxious? Um, isn't it it? Like? Right? Like? What do you eat that? I'm first of all, we're putting rock, We're putting a sunny side up egg. You know why egg prices went up because all of these restaurants are throwing sunny side up eggs on a fucking hamburger. That's why the prices are growing up in these damn eggs. That's how we ran out. And then somebody were you the one that told me the real reason. I don't think so people are like, oh, it's avian fluid. Somebody was like, no, the subsidies are gone. We were doing Okay, there was South Camelin who told me there were egg subsidies for poultry farmers, and they ran out, and so the prices shot up because the government subsidies went away. Okay, I don't know it is true. What I'm saying is we're doing a lot with burgers, right. Yeah. The chicken sandwich, so one the chicken sandwich. You get your option, you can. You know, some people do a breast, some people do a thigh. I love the chicken sandwich. That just then one of them by, wow, really yeah, I've pre dark me. Okay, I will buy a pack of chicken thighs. M If I'm buying chicken, I'm buying chicken thighs. I'll buy chicken thighs, ground chicken or leg quarters. That's my order. And so this is thing. My chicken sandwich you can have fried, you can have a grilled, you have chicken salad sandwich on a croissant. That's always nice. So you're saying the different temperatures that you can get of meat of beef, right, there's different styles of cooking for a chicken sandwich, right, So like you don't often I mean, let's take a country five steak or like a million like you don't really see a lot of like breaded beef. H but we breaded chicken all damn jack. Right, And my least favorite chicken sandwich is a grilled chicken sandwich because my least favorite way of having chicken is grilled chicken. Okay, but because if you get grilled chicken, it's usually your breast and the breast is a dried's part. If you gave me a grilled chicken thigh sandwich, ye, now okay, So I just want to make sure that we're clear. Do you think that the chicken sandwich is more versatile than the burger? Yes, And you're saying that's because of the styles of cooking. So you're saying that you just gave me temperature I tried to say it was versas child. It's a totally different experience to right, And the difference of having a chicken salad sandwich compared to a fried chicken sandwich is definitely a different experience in your mouth. So we're talking about the versatility. You're giving me temperature, so we're both talking about cooking methods. It's still beef, it's still chicken. Yeah. Yeah, one is fried, one's grilled, and one is cooked and then you know, you make a little salad out of it. So we're talking about versatility. But I'm saying, is there's more that's a burger is grilled, right, Yeah, Burgers for the most part aren't getting deep fried, and no one's because we do pull pork sandwiches, but no one's doing pulled beef because because the chicken. Because the chicken salads there, which is basically killed the cooked chicken breaths that you pulled apart. So basically chicken salad is pulled chicken. Okay, I know why pork is the only one when we pull though by name, but everyone else is out here just getting stretched out. There's also something to be said for the different grades and types of beef, which I actually think range farther than chicken, because you can correct me if I'm wrong, But to my knowledge, it's like there's dark meat and there's white meat. There isn't chicken. That's like, oh, yes, this is um um Korean chicken specifically, right, so wagoo beef and stuff like that exactly. But again that goes to the nature of the meat that you're cooking, because you know how you can make savicha where you're using like lemon juice. Literally it's cooking the fish or lemon. And I thought always had sevich was a con job, honestly, because I remember my Uncle Joel making conk salad and he's squeezing like a tomato and like lemon and lime juice and coming up stuff. And I was like, age just saw me. Got said Uncle Joel, that's not cook He said, no, the lemon juice cooks the meat. And I said, no, Uncle Joe, heat cooked meat. So for me, my little nine year old brain was like, Negro, you're not gonna tell me that fruit cook shrimp. It's not gonna happen. Yeah, somebody the acidity and a lemon made meat made a shrimp pink nah jar and it wasn't untime I saw somebody make it right. I was like, Okay, I mean sure, you know that's how If that's how you live your life, that's God you served. I hear you. But this ship is still a wild So the fact you can't use lemon juice to cook beef, you can't lose lemon juice to cook chicken because that's just the nature of the meat. So there are there's different types of chickens, but I think when it comes to the store, it's just here's chicken like you have. Like the first time I saw a black chicken at the Ranch ninety nine market in LA Like black skinned chicken. Okay, have we received this these African American chickens. N I have not? It is I mean, you're call the black chicken. But the skin's like purple almost. And the lady uh, very nice um Asian American woman, and she had in her cart and it was like me and some of my friends were like, oh, she's like oh yeah. She said it's good, you know, to make soups. It's you know, it's good for women's health. And I was like, right, right, right, right right, Coca coca cool, but kfca never gonna be flying up Church's Chicken's never gonna be flying up some purple skinned chicken. Everybody, we go, the fuck is this because Americans would believe that they just I would think the skin was artificially colored, because yeah, I'm only seen chickens one way. We are talking about the nature of the meats, because if even if there are different breeds of chicken, no one's telling us that because you got your angus beef, you got your wagu beef, and then you got your regular beefe. Yeah. But the only reason we know that there's different types of beef is because people have decided that there's higher price points on these other cut on these other Yeah. The grades, yeah, species, but that's also like there's grades and then there's species. Oh yeah, yeah, like an angus cow is a different kind of cow than like a dairy cow. M And then was it kobe, Yeah, there's Kobe, there's Wagu, Yeah, angus. These are just differently bread. It's like breeds of dog. It's also range though it's also ranged. I'm not saying there's not ranged, but it's like it's just we have to acknowledge it's just the nature of that animal, like we make you know, you're like age beef, yeah, which have always been confused about what do you mean, Like this beef has been aged for ninety days. I'm like, so this meat has just been out. Yeah, but they have to um there's I can't remember what it's called, but there's something delicate about the process where they they do have to like let it air out. That's why they have those smoke houses, why they have some of those um well, smoke meats is like different because it's like there's certain processes you do with certain animals, Like you know, we make sausage from pork. Now we're doing chicken sausage. Yeah. Uh, you know, we get bacon from pork, and apparently now we're doing turkey sausages. We all know turkey sausages a scam, and that's why we got to beat bacon is the real scam. I said, turkey bacon is a scam. Yeah, that's how I was saying. Let me let me tell you say this about burgers for a second as well. Is that I acknowledge that there is, in both good and bad ways, arrange with burgers. I've had truly, fundamentally, unequivocally disgusting burgers. Okay. I've had burgers that I'm like, I'm like, y'all, y'all shouldn't be allowed to put bread next to me at all, not even in the freezer. Okay. And then I've had burgers that made my day. Sometimes it was the pick me up I needed and lifted my soul. All right, it was the sole food that I needed. I've had burgers that when I bit into it was so crisp and all the right places, was so perfectly buttered on the bun was so like absolutely crunchy at the tip of the meat where it's pressed against the grill that it made me want to pray say my grace again. Okay, all right. And I also had chicken sandwiches, and in my experience, chicken sandwiches have less of a range, both in versatility and in like just the general vibe of I mean, to your point, yeah, breast meat chicken sandwich is gonna be mostly the same thing outside of the seasoning. I had a chicken thighed chicken sandwich for the first time. I was like, why is everybody not doing this? I would put the best chicken sandwich that I've ever had up against the best burger that I've ever had. And I think I would confidently serve both of them, two people, and let them decide which one they enjoyed more. And I think they'd come back and tell me that the burger was true true fire. Wouldn't that depend on where you've got the burger from? What do you mean in like a blind test? What I'm saying is that we've all have good burgers, We've all had bad burgers. We've had good chicken Sammies, We've had bad chicken Sammy's. I'm just saying that I feel like sometimes we give burgers more credit than they deserved. That's just what I just what I think. No, I'm with you, I'm with you. Look, you're allowed to your opinion. I just think that when it comes to juiciness and when it comes to grip, because let's let's let's spend a quick second talking about the grip of a sandwich, all right, when you're holding on to that thing, I have the Sammy by the love handles, okay, side to side, Okay. I think that for me, I've seen less slippage with burgers than with chicken sandwiches because the chicken sandwich was not necessarily made to go in the patty form even a feele. First of all, I love how you say for like because I feel like the rest of us are saying it wrong. I feel like all of us are not giving it the respect that it deserves. Well, that's very kind. I appreciate you appreciating it. Hey man, these fee les get in deep. I love it. Um. Well, this is the other thing about burgers, Okay that I don't think you're because you brought up the temperatures of meat, but you did not bring up the types of meat that can't be burgers. Okay, I mean I thought I did, but maybe I missed something. No, because you didn't talk about the turkey burger. M you can talk about the veggie burger. I mean I wanted to level the playing field somewhat because now if I if I hit you with veggie burger turkey burger, I don't think chicken has a chance. Listen, First of all, we don't know the turkey burgers are trash everyone no one likes them. No one likes them. You eat them because you have to, because your doctor told you that you're gonna lose you because you're in trouble. Yes, veggie burgers are because vegetarians can't hold onto the fact that they can't eat whatever they fucking want anymore. Because I was about a black bean burger. This is the thing that's still a veggie because the thing is a black bean burger still has rice and carrots and other ship in it. You didn't make a whole patty out of black beabs. Okay, it's still I remember when the bulk of burger came out, changing nigga's lives. Okay, these impossible burgers, we may get sued, but I'm telling you there's meeting that bitch. There's meat. We've all had an impossible burgers said, you won't lie to me to day. You will not impossible. Yes, I know you. Nigga just put beat juice in here. So if I cooked this rare, it's gonna like blood is coming out this. A lot of these like these veggie I remember asking a nutrition like my nutrition is on my old nutritions. I was like, question, can I have these veggie sausage patties? And she said, let me look them up. I was like thinking, I told her the company and she looked him up, but she looked at all the ingredients. Yeah, and she was like, I'd rather you eat pork. Wow. I said, what she said, this is a chemistry test. Wow. She said, this is supposed to be the alternative. She said, there's so many chemicals in this. She said, your body can break down pork this. She's like, just eat the meat. Wow. She said, don't need a bunch. And he's like, obviously, don't need the whole back. But like she said, two of these. She said, Yeah, you look at the calories and stuff like that. She said, but there's she said, there's so many chemicals in here, so many yeah, so many chemicals, so many adams, all this other stuff. She's like, just eat regular sausage, wow, because your body can break it down. And I was like, she's also the one that told me that fruit was a car. Oh yeah yeah. And I said, excuse me, yeah, excuse mate, fruit, miss lady, it's fruit. He said, fruit is a car. I said, you're telling me that fruit and bread man that ain't the same thing in the body in the Bible there, like sometimes I don't even know why I try. Yeah, Like, dude, I've never know, I was like my mom in a moment that what I just said that back to you in the body in the Bible. So but maybe she's so happy. Yeah, I need to shout out Mary Anne Hill. You know, yeah, media here in the body, there are there are fruits that process like carbs. No, it's all a card all fruits because like whatever started because like my littuatric she was telling me, it's like I can't have do you know that's all this weight I can't I couldn't have tropical fruit. Also, you know what I couldn't have that'll surprise a lot of people. Grapes? Really? Why? Why? Why grapes? Because he says grapes have as much candy as sugar as candy. Oh I can see that. Yeah, especially you can pop them really easy and pop them like candies. You ever have potting candy grapes. I've stayed away from them. I don't want to like a new thing. Let me tell you something. Put them in you said it was in the fridge for a good minute, and the cold, cold, cold like cal or like pop in the freezer. Don't want to get frozen frozen because the frozen grape is disgusting but also probably crack two. But I can candy grapes cold, cold, cold, Yeah, you can sell a bunch of carnibles all day. But also, who the fuck asked for this? Ask for the grapple science. But the thing about the grapple is that grapples don't smell like grapes. They smell like purple grape flavor. Grape flavor don't taste like grapes. Grape flavor is what purple tastes like. I feel like every fruit can't be a car, Like, like, there's no way the avocado is a that's such a fatty fruit. Well, it's technically a fruit, but every fruit is not a car. But the same way that, like every fruit's not sweet, like technically combers are a fruit. But yeah, but yeah, what kind of lunatic would put that in a fruit salad? Did you ever hear that quote? It's like, um, being intelligent is knowing that a tomato has a fruit, but common sense is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. I did see that, yeah, and I think that it did sum up what intelligent was. I heard it in high school and I was like, damn, ye'll rarely be out here just thinking about I want to ask you a question about a couch maal okay, okay, all right, all right about toppings sides, I can tell you I dated a man, dated a man the one the white pause me well, asking to marry them, two different things. I saw this grown man order burger plane, yeah, just catch up in cheese, and I was like, I gotta get out of this. Really, I gotta get have this because he eats like a child. Just catch him and cheese, though, like what is it because he didn't get pickles. I just it just was the vibes, and it was just like Also, he was like, I want to go somewhere completely different. And he was stressed because I don't want to eat a burger in Hawaii. I want to eat something else, anything else. Yeah, I want to try maybe Hawaiian food, right, yeah, a roast, just anything anything, you know, a spam much with the mashobie and neat tarot something. Don't laugh while you do it. So it wasn't a laugh. It was pure lustration. Oh okay, right, give me some things. Hum and so I just want and I just he keeps stressing me about this basalt burgers, but salt burgers, but salt burger. I take a bite of said burger, expecting my eyes to he expected. You remember that scene in Pulp Ficture where they opened the suitcase and the light comes out, or in Atlanta when he opens his Jr. Cricket's box and the light from the limon pepper wains hits him. That's what he thought was going to happen. M I took a bite on and fuck, I pressed, and I knew I was gonna be because when he said, when I saw him hold it, I was like that same. This isn't what it's not doing what you think it's doing. It's not giving what it's supposed to give. It wasn't golding what it's supposed to go. Okay, that's jeeves. That that is where it comes to taste and where it's hard, where even when I recommend places like I did it, I did it even before we started recording. I recommend it to everyone that works on this podcast, some burghers that I hope they even like, because now if they don't like them, they'll be like, well, Josh's mouth has gone haywire because he loves these and this is not good. You know what I mean. So I love said I said to my mother one day, she said she didn't like pomegrant. That sold you, right, okay? And I told her her mouth is broken. And then she proceeded to tell me that my tongue is flat. And I can truly tell you, I don't know what that means. Yeah, I don't know if that means the same thing is what you just said. Or I said your mouth is broken. She said your tongue is flat, and I was like, again, oh yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't you've lost me. Yeah, I love my mama. But also when I heard it, it was I must defend myself. And this is this is where I think. This is where I think the burger starts to edge its way out past the chicken sandwich is with the toppings, with the way then what is the topping? Okay? Sorry, no, no, you f what is a topping that you can put on a burger? M that you cannot put? Oh? This is why I say edge out though, because there is no can't. I'm just saying when I put if there's ketchup and mustard on a burger, I'm I'm enjoying myself. Right, I don't necessarily want or knee ketchup and mustard on my chicken sandwich. Ketchup and mustards don't go on a chicken. But but do you see what I mean? How Like in those situations, I start to feel like the burger is edging it out for me, because it's like, if I want to enjoy the tanginess of some mustard, I can put that on my burger, whereas a chicken sandwich doesn't. No, I don't need that, I don't want that. No, you can, I depends on the now. I Okay, this is the thing, M I me, M. Don't necessarily enjoy ketchup. Okay, the only time I eat ketch up I almost almost said eat. I don't know why. Only time I eat to ketch up. One time you catch up is on a hot dog. Yes you mentioned that before. Yeah, sometimes you catch up on a hot dog or a McDonald's cheeseburger because that's how they do there. Yeah. Right, So there's not a lot of situations where I even eat catch up. You can put lettuce and tomato on a chick. One of my favorite things is a fried chicken club or deluxe fried chicken sandwich where you get your lettuce, tomato, your onions, your cheese, maybe sometimes even some bacon too. You know, I'm with you. I just feel like in a burger. You know, there are things like, for instance, this is another one where this is where it starts. To get out landed. You gotta go to your cheeburger cheeburgers for this. You gotta go to some of your other like dying in restaurants to get this. But have I been You've been to a Cheatburger Cheatburger? Oh yeah, uh, where are those at? There's some in the South. There's not that many. I don't know if there's that many to begin with. But I had one in my collegetown in Chreeveport, Louisiana, and then there was one in an airport in It definitely wasn't Jackson, but I was in an airport in the South and there was a Chieburger Chee Burger. Now I will say my favorite fast food burger place is water Burger. Yeah. Yeah. It was very good. To the point that I was in the Dallas Airport and it was in the other terminal, and this is one of the few times i'd got into the airport at a good time and I walked the I think it was like round trip a thirty something almost forty minutes. Geez to go get this burger before I went back to LA. This is my thing those places right that have either the good burger or the special. And I called all a topping usually a condiment to me, it's it's really just condiments that are that are toppings. But to me, a topping like an onion ring, is something that you see on some burger, sometimes offered, and I've had it before, and I'm not gonna lie. The way they did it was just right because it wasn't it wasn't chaos right. It wasn't a hard onion ring that was gonna be crunching and fighting as you tried to eat your burger. It was actually a really nice, flat onioned ring that was perfectly breaded and went right under the bun onto the paddy, and with every bite you got a little bit of onion and that's how you got your onions instead of diced. And I thought that was great. And if I was eating a chicken sandwich, I would I don't think i'd ever mix an onion ring with a chicken sandwich on the sandwich, I can tell you. The time that I have to have a burger, yeah, is when it's a special time in your young girl's life. Oh, I can I can see. I've heard that before. I don't know what it is. I don't know why it is, yeah, but it has to happen. Look, I'll tell you right now there are certain chicken sandwiches that do make me a bit weak. Tell me when when there is hype around a chicken sandwich. I don't know what happens to me. I will not even just Popeyes. It'll be anybody being like, hey, our new chicken sandwich. I act like I haven't had chicken before. I'll get in a line. You're getting a line. I'll get in a line. I won't get in a line first day. I'm not gonna get in the longest line. But I'll wait in the line to be like, let me go ahead and see, just in case it's my new favorite chicken sandwich. It never is. Have we talked about as a society, because I don't think we've one. We truly have not processed COVID yet. No. No, the fact that we've all been collectively traumatized. But have we talked about as a community the pure on brawls m oh yeah, yea. The Popeye chicken sandwich, and then when you finally got one, you were like, this is just a sandwich. It's just a sandwich with the same season, and that you nobody should there should have been now person outside of the Popeye's yelling racial slurs. Yeah, these lines should not. What I don't understand is I don't remember how it got to that point. Society has been breaking down for quite a while. I'll tell you right now that why was the chump had it was? It was in twenty were from twenty sixteen twenty nineteen. We changed as people in those three years. I feel like there's just been a breakdown of just how we talk to each other, how we look at each other, what we want. I think we're talking about some lost people right now, you know, and not just because they lined up. I'm talking about the fights, I'm talking about the slurs I'm talking about I'm talking about the level of hype that you even let come around a chicken sandwich from a place that already sells chicken, so you know what their chicken sandwich is gonna taste like Also, didn't they already have I think they had had before, but I don't think they basically just ran one of the best marketing campaigns in the history of people because it was really like hot in business classes. I couldn't even understand how people were so swept up in it because I didn't have one for maybe three months until after it came out. And that wasn't me trying to avoid It's just I live in New York and there's a Popeye's near me, and there was a line there one time, but then they stopped selling it for a little while, and it, Yeah, it was crazy. I just couldn't. I just really could not understand why people work like I just could, like, it's Popeyes is good, but it's not fist fight in a parking lot. I think I don't know if they've created scarcity. I mean truly, ask yourself if you've ever been into anything worth losing a tooth over. No, then I think I think we have our answer. I think we're all there now. So I'll say this. With the chicken salad, you can get a you can get a wrap, you can get it on a croissant. You can get it on toast. You get a regular bread, you can get it on the blood's diversity in the bread. Then the way that you cook it. It's fried, grilled, it's a chicken salad sandwid. You can get white meat, you can get dark meat. There's a lot of versatility for the chicken salmon, right, you can put it in a rap. It's very good. I'll just say it. For burgers, sometimes they're too thick, sometimes they're too thin. Um. The issue of the there's a lot of times right, because I've finally got I've gotten to the point in the past ten years or started ordering things medium well. I mean well, John, okay, because that's just how we can up dry well, that's just how you grew up. Now, I get things medium well. But sometimes you get things medium well, people think it's medium and then you just end up with a murder show on a bun. Yeah. Um, so I can't handle seeing um bloody meat. M just is that's just who I am. Um. Okay. So in closing, Uh, friends, Americans, me your taste buds, give it a mouth. Tell you I had to ruin it. Uh, you wanted me to about the power and the the overall supremacy of the burger, okay, to its temp, from its type, to its titillating on your taste buds factors, all right, the fat, the salt, the acid, all of all the really delicious things that come that come with cooking meat. Well it gets taken to another level with a burger. Now, yes, you can have a turkey burger if you want while to do that. You can have a veggie burger, all right, nutritious option, But the burger reigns supreme. And with that we kick it over to you, the listener. What are you really feeling? What do you like to bite into? Is it a nice, juicy burger? Is it a scrumptious chicken sandwich? You let us know, all right, because we care and we want to know who you think is right? All right? If you're looking up catch up with us in other places. I have my own podcast, that Josh Johnson Show. It comes out every Thursday where if you get your podcasts, and if you're looking to catch up with Dulsey, you catch me on this podcast. Wild huh. Hold up, y'all, y'all have a great day and a great weekend. Um, we will catch you in the next one. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights and eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fair Amount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast

You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow, what's up, Bears Edition listener, It's Josh Johnson right for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original daily show podcasts, Hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show correspondent Duel Say Sloan, is where we take our office banter into a weekly war words about topics big and small. In this episode, we're talking chicken sandwiches versus hamburgers. We debate over our favorite option based on ranges in taste, temperature, and flavor. Tune in to find out which side of the debate we each land on. And if you like the show, check out the Hold Up podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your taste buds, give it that mouth tell you. Welcome to Hold Up everyone. I'm one of your co hosts. My name is Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for the show. Okay, I'm joyed by slow. Okay, I didn't know if you're really gonna let that pause sit there? All right, you are joined by Dulse Lizarious Sloane. It is me, welcoming you, Welcome in me. Hello's your ears attlettle. All right, well today, why you always looks not annoyed? Its tongue don't work. Look, my tongue works, all right. I'm using it right now to form words, so it works. If my tongue didn't work, it would just be a but it's not. It's fully formed words. Oh if you have a tongue. If you don't have a tongue, probably if your tongue didn't have any muscle to it, it would just be hanging and you'd be like own, tell you, yeah, you sound like Charlie Brown's daddy. Well yo, if I get a message from somebody to talk about they don't have a tongue, I am gonna laugh. Yeah, they don't have a tomb, but they have thumbs, so they have. I'm gonna let you die they feel Yeah, oh bet thumbs extra fast. Today's episode is about in a way, in a sense, it might be it might end up that way. If you start you start start off just saying wild things, then maybe it's gonna be about you and your opinions. But right now it's about chicken sandwiches versus burgers. See, okay, which which place do you land? Ask yourself? Truly? All right. Do you like a nice juicy burger in between whatever your favorite type of bread is, Briosh sour dough, if anything that you like as a sandwich. This is the battle of sandwich is right? That we got chicken sandwich just coming in? Do you like them chopped like a barbecue? Do you like them hold like some Chick fil a? What do you what do you like? What? Is it a file a situation? Do you just want to cram a piece of breast meat in between the two buns, sauce it up real good and eat it up? Maybe that's your whole vibe. No sandwich is wrong in this scenario. It's just about which one is better. Okay, So Josh tell the people. First of all, I'm gonna let everybody ever to get people time to guess, play the music. Josh telling people where you stand on this, because I don't think that they I think this is gonna be like the chocolate of Vanilla situation. They're gonna think that they know, but they don't. Let me tell you the crime and the superior superior sounds racist. Go ahead, and that's just it's a word. This can't be attached to the thing. All the time, some things are just better. Come on, let me so you are just talking about the supremacy, the sandwich supremacy, the full sandwich supremacy of the burger. All right, y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all knew he was gonna say that. What else would he say? Let me? Let me tell you right now, Come on in a burger, Come on in a sandwich as old as time, Like Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, the beauty is the bread. The beast is the meat. The beauty and the beast of sandwiches. It's too good, and it's too classic, and it's too versatile. Bobby Besha I heard in a wild Listen. I have a question, m M, do you only consist? Would you partake in a burger? Okay that wasn't on a bunt? Did you grow up eating burgers on bunts? It's a part of my life I'd like to forget. Okay, So you okay like me? M. Your mother didn't always buy buns or we we had the mismatch of bun to meet ratio that only happens with hot dogs. No, no, no, because sometimes you can buy uh if you buy like package to burgers like frozen package burgers. You might you might get twelve in the in the box of frozen burgers, but then in the actual bun package, there's uh, there's eight. And they gotta do that. I remember comment talking about that hot dog hot dog bun math just for the ways of the numbers. To get even, you gotta buy forty of each. Yeah. Yeah, that's where you meet up with it. Okay, that's why people at barbecues don't have a problem, because they got so many that it lined up right, you know. I can't say that there were times where sorry, I'm sorry, what what remember? No, it's just funny. Reminded me of I remember in Chicago, which of my friends as he was having a hot dog, but he just had the regular sliced bread. I remember saying to him. I was like, oh man, we really are poor, huh because it's not like the hot dog bun is that much more expensive, you know what I mean, Like it's really still just bread. But the fact that he was like, all right, dog, look all I really got is these uh is these uh what's it called? Was it bunny bread? He's like, all really, guys, buddy bread? And I was like, oh, okay, but here's the thing, though, he's being the most cost effective. Yeah, what you have to do when you are broke, Yes, I'm with you. All I know is I got so accustomed yeah yeah to eating. Not that we didn't have the money, but a lot of times it was just down to, like, I'm not a big bread person to start with. Oh I see, yeah, yeah, I do like the hot dog bunt though, but a lot really but what but a lot of time a hot dog buns, I end up pulling a lot of the bread off. Okay, who's on a hot dog bun? One side I was thicker than the other anyway, what but they cook hot dog buns. The base of a hot dog bun, isn't the bottom The side of a hot dog bun is at actually the bottom okay, bakes up, it fluffs up, but then you're cutting it through the middle. But then isn't that middle So can't that middle be even? Sometimes? Because I feel like it's it's not as it's not always super even. What I'm saying is that, Okay, a lot of times the hot dog buns I end up pulling them out of the bread off anyway. Yeah, but with hamburger buns. Sometimes it would be too much bread. So because I'm not a bread person to start with. So when my mom would make burgers, she would do it with regular bread and I loved it. Yeah, because she bought hot dog because like when people buy burger, Like, she bought burger buns one time for like, because you're My birthday is July four, so I've been at every fucking barber on the planet. She bought buns one time and they were for like there were the people that were coming. And I was like, okay, but did you get regular bread? And She's like, I got buns. I was like, but did you hear regular bread? M I got bunns? Is I gonna ask you? That's not that's not gonna help me. I need the particular bread we're gonna do smush this other bread to make this work. I don't want to do this for you. So what I'm saying is I prefer if I'm gonna have an amburgessa mm hmm, like a restaurant, obviously you're not getting a regular bread. But like now that you can get a burger as a rap because you know, I love tortilla, So now that you can get a burger as a rap game changer. Okay, okay, game changer. Let me tell you now. What I also want you to tell me is how the the deeply stunted I'll just say stunted because it's not its fault. It can only be one thing, the chicken sandwich. Tell me how that matches up in any way to the verse utility that burgers bring to the table. Before I address this at tech, what I will do is proved you proved to me the versatilit tie. Okay, I can do it real quick, do a real quick um temperature for one, you can get a burger depending on where you are. You know, not every place does it, but it is possible with burgers to get something rare, medium, medium, well well done. Temperature alone adds four times to whatever type of burger you want to have. You I mean, okay, but that's just the nature of beef. Yeah's cooking chicken. Yeah, at different temperatures. No, we agree? So are you just you can only enjoy your chicken one way cooked? Yeah, but there's different levels of cook to beef, which means there's different levels of cook to burger. This point that you're making, right, now is so wild it sounds like I said, Oh no, no, no no, This point that I'm making right now should be opening your mind. Listen, all right, if you want, you can cook chicken at any temperature you want. Will you make it out alive? Hold the fuck? No? But there's nothing stopping you from cooking chicken at different temperatures. No, No, what's stopping you is it won't be It will be nasty if you have rare chicken. You know what I'm saying. Even the idea right now is disgusting to me. Whereas, how do we know? What do you mean? How do we know? Don't try to give me the poison myself. I'm just saying, how do we know? Has anyone tried? Yes, and they've all died of salmonella poisoning. Hey baby, my sickness or my fitness. But you're gonna get out of here somewhere. Yeah, saying this how you look something? Yeah? Because I thought the wildest because like I thought the wildest thing was a steak being rare. Yeah, there is a lower temperature than rare. You know blue? Yeah, that's horrifying. Blue is I don't even play with blue at all. I don't even entertain the idea, Like if somebody gets a blue steak in front of me, I'm like, I thank you so much for telling me you were a killer. For those that don't know, when you order something blue, it's it's literally just slightly slightly touched on both sides by a hot pan to kill any bacteria and then serve to you like it makes sense. Cold blue is because it's still cold. Yeah, it's not even seared to the point of sealing it. And like it's not even like a rare one, like rare is you know, the it can potentially be cold in the middle. We're talking about a straight up steak that they were just like we flipped it on the pan twice to get rid of any liability on our side. But if you want to eat it like this, go ahead, have at it. But what's the difference between that and a beef tartar? Because beef tartar is completely uncooked beef. Not only have I never entertained the idea of a beef tartar, I refuse to look at a menu or a plate with a beef tartar on it because there are people in this world I don't I don't understand them, and I don't. I don't think I know anyone personally, but the amount of people that I've seen have beef tartar with an uncooked egg on top. Bro I was just going to say, that is violence, all right. If you want to know what you can do going into twenty twenty three to be a better person, not that, stop doing that. Whatever whatever led you there, seek the help you need get out. That is such a whole horror rififying sight to see to see a raw egg on top of some raw beef, and then to just see somebody go to town. The first time I saw it, I actually thought it was it was fear Factor. I was watching a cooking channel and I thought, no, it has no nerd to be on the cooking channel. You didn't cook anything. I must have changed the channel to fear Factor. Joe Rogan is going to pop up in any second because this is a challenge, Yes that should only be taking place on network TV. Yes, for the good of the money of the company. Yes. And then when I found out it was a quote unquote dish, I was furious. Now there are people that are gonna say, hey, this is a dish of my culture. Because I don't think this is just why people to eat this. I think people of color in places do eat this. So we're not shitting because again I don't want your as people who consume American food, right, mm hmm, raw beef will make you sick? Yeah, because this is why I don't understand about this disch. Remember it would tell us not to eat cake batter because there was a raw egg in it and you might get salmonella. I wow, I'm glad to talk to you today because I made it through my whole life without ever hearing that that's why you were supposed to eat cake batter? Did that stop me and anybody I know? Fuck? No, I never know anybody get sick. No, No, I did not know that. You think I got sick making a dunking hind chocolate cake because I put two eggs in a third of a couple of oil in it. Now I'm here to tell the tale, Okay, I just for one just thinking about this making me noxious? Um, isn't it it? Like? Right? Like? What do you eat that? I'm first of all, we're putting rock, We're putting a sunny side up egg. You know why egg prices went up because all of these restaurants are throwing sunny side up eggs on a fucking hamburger. That's why the prices are growing up in these damn eggs. That's how we ran out. And then somebody were you the one that told me the real reason. I don't think so people are like, oh, it's avian fluid. Somebody was like, no, the subsidies are gone. We were doing Okay, there was South Camelin who told me there were egg subsidies for poultry farmers, and they ran out, and so the prices shot up because the government subsidies went away. Okay, I don't know it is true. What I'm saying is we're doing a lot with burgers, right. Yeah. The chicken sandwich, so one the chicken sandwich. You get your option, you can. You know, some people do a breast, some people do a thigh. I love the chicken sandwich. That just then one of them by, wow, really yeah, I've pre dark me. Okay, I will buy a pack of chicken thighs. M If I'm buying chicken, I'm buying chicken thighs. I'll buy chicken thighs, ground chicken or leg quarters. That's my order. And so this is thing. My chicken sandwich you can have fried, you can have a grilled, you have chicken salad sandwich on a croissant. That's always nice. So you're saying the different temperatures that you can get of meat of beef, right, there's different styles of cooking for a chicken sandwich, right, So like you don't often I mean, let's take a country five steak or like a million like you don't really see a lot of like breaded beef. H but we breaded chicken all damn jack. Right, And my least favorite chicken sandwich is a grilled chicken sandwich because my least favorite way of having chicken is grilled chicken. Okay, but because if you get grilled chicken, it's usually your breast and the breast is a dried's part. If you gave me a grilled chicken thigh sandwich, ye, now okay, So I just want to make sure that we're clear. Do you think that the chicken sandwich is more versatile than the burger? Yes, And you're saying that's because of the styles of cooking. So you're saying that you just gave me temperature I tried to say it was versas child. It's a totally different experience to right, And the difference of having a chicken salad sandwich compared to a fried chicken sandwich is definitely a different experience in your mouth. So we're talking about the versatility. You're giving me temperature, so we're both talking about cooking methods. It's still beef, it's still chicken. Yeah. Yeah, one is fried, one's grilled, and one is cooked and then you know, you make a little salad out of it. So we're talking about versatility. But I'm saying, is there's more that's a burger is grilled, right, Yeah, Burgers for the most part aren't getting deep fried, and no one's because we do pull pork sandwiches, but no one's doing pulled beef because because the chicken. Because the chicken salads there, which is basically killed the cooked chicken breaths that you pulled apart. So basically chicken salad is pulled chicken. Okay, I know why pork is the only one when we pull though by name, but everyone else is out here just getting stretched out. There's also something to be said for the different grades and types of beef, which I actually think range farther than chicken, because you can correct me if I'm wrong, But to my knowledge, it's like there's dark meat and there's white meat. There isn't chicken. That's like, oh, yes, this is um um Korean chicken specifically, right, so wagoo beef and stuff like that exactly. But again that goes to the nature of the meat that you're cooking, because you know how you can make savicha where you're using like lemon juice. Literally it's cooking the fish or lemon. And I thought always had sevich was a con job, honestly, because I remember my Uncle Joel making conk salad and he's squeezing like a tomato and like lemon and lime juice and coming up stuff. And I was like, age just saw me. Got said Uncle Joel, that's not cook He said, no, the lemon juice cooks the meat. And I said, no, Uncle Joe, heat cooked meat. So for me, my little nine year old brain was like, Negro, you're not gonna tell me that fruit cook shrimp. It's not gonna happen. Yeah, somebody the acidity and a lemon made meat made a shrimp pink nah jar and it wasn't untime I saw somebody make it right. I was like, Okay, I mean sure, you know that's how If that's how you live your life, that's God you served. I hear you. But this ship is still a wild So the fact you can't use lemon juice to cook beef, you can't lose lemon juice to cook chicken because that's just the nature of the meat. So there are there's different types of chickens, but I think when it comes to the store, it's just here's chicken like you have. Like the first time I saw a black chicken at the Ranch ninety nine market in LA Like black skinned chicken. Okay, have we received this these African American chickens. N I have not? It is I mean, you're call the black chicken. But the skin's like purple almost. And the lady uh, very nice um Asian American woman, and she had in her cart and it was like me and some of my friends were like, oh, she's like oh yeah. She said it's good, you know, to make soups. It's you know, it's good for women's health. And I was like, right, right, right, right right, Coca coca cool, but kfca never gonna be flying up Church's Chicken's never gonna be flying up some purple skinned chicken. Everybody, we go, the fuck is this because Americans would believe that they just I would think the skin was artificially colored, because yeah, I'm only seen chickens one way. We are talking about the nature of the meats, because if even if there are different breeds of chicken, no one's telling us that because you got your angus beef, you got your wagu beef, and then you got your regular beefe. Yeah. But the only reason we know that there's different types of beef is because people have decided that there's higher price points on these other cut on these other Yeah. The grades, yeah, species, but that's also like there's grades and then there's species. Oh yeah, yeah, like an angus cow is a different kind of cow than like a dairy cow. M And then was it kobe, Yeah, there's Kobe, there's Wagu, Yeah, angus. These are just differently bread. It's like breeds of dog. It's also range though it's also ranged. I'm not saying there's not ranged, but it's like it's just we have to acknowledge it's just the nature of that animal, like we make you know, you're like age beef, yeah, which have always been confused about what do you mean, Like this beef has been aged for ninety days. I'm like, so this meat has just been out. Yeah, but they have to um there's I can't remember what it's called, but there's something delicate about the process where they they do have to like let it air out. That's why they have those smoke houses, why they have some of those um well, smoke meats is like different because it's like there's certain processes you do with certain animals, Like you know, we make sausage from pork. Now we're doing chicken sausage. Yeah. Uh, you know, we get bacon from pork, and apparently now we're doing turkey sausages. We all know turkey sausages a scam, and that's why we got to beat bacon is the real scam. I said, turkey bacon is a scam. Yeah, that's how I was saying. Let me let me tell you say this about burgers for a second as well. Is that I acknowledge that there is, in both good and bad ways, arrange with burgers. I've had truly, fundamentally, unequivocally disgusting burgers. Okay. I've had burgers that I'm like, I'm like, y'all, y'all shouldn't be allowed to put bread next to me at all, not even in the freezer. Okay. And then I've had burgers that made my day. Sometimes it was the pick me up I needed and lifted my soul. All right, it was the sole food that I needed. I've had burgers that when I bit into it was so crisp and all the right places, was so perfectly buttered on the bun was so like absolutely crunchy at the tip of the meat where it's pressed against the grill that it made me want to pray say my grace again. Okay, all right. And I also had chicken sandwiches, and in my experience, chicken sandwiches have less of a range, both in versatility and in like just the general vibe of I mean, to your point, yeah, breast meat chicken sandwich is gonna be mostly the same thing outside of the seasoning. I had a chicken thighed chicken sandwich for the first time. I was like, why is everybody not doing this? I would put the best chicken sandwich that I've ever had up against the best burger that I've ever had. And I think I would confidently serve both of them, two people, and let them decide which one they enjoyed more. And I think they'd come back and tell me that the burger was true true fire. Wouldn't that depend on where you've got the burger from? What do you mean in like a blind test? What I'm saying is that we've all have good burgers, We've all had bad burgers. We've had good chicken Sammies, We've had bad chicken Sammy's. I'm just saying that I feel like sometimes we give burgers more credit than they deserved. That's just what I just what I think. No, I'm with you, I'm with you. Look, you're allowed to your opinion. I just think that when it comes to juiciness and when it comes to grip, because let's let's let's spend a quick second talking about the grip of a sandwich, all right, when you're holding on to that thing, I have the Sammy by the love handles, okay, side to side, Okay. I think that for me, I've seen less slippage with burgers than with chicken sandwiches because the chicken sandwich was not necessarily made to go in the patty form even a feele. First of all, I love how you say for like because I feel like the rest of us are saying it wrong. I feel like all of us are not giving it the respect that it deserves. Well, that's very kind. I appreciate you appreciating it. Hey man, these fee les get in deep. I love it. Um. Well, this is the other thing about burgers, Okay that I don't think you're because you brought up the temperatures of meat, but you did not bring up the types of meat that can't be burgers. Okay, I mean I thought I did, but maybe I missed something. No, because you didn't talk about the turkey burger. M you can talk about the veggie burger. I mean I wanted to level the playing field somewhat because now if I if I hit you with veggie burger turkey burger, I don't think chicken has a chance. Listen, First of all, we don't know the turkey burgers are trash everyone no one likes them. No one likes them. You eat them because you have to, because your doctor told you that you're gonna lose you because you're in trouble. Yes, veggie burgers are because vegetarians can't hold onto the fact that they can't eat whatever they fucking want anymore. Because I was about a black bean burger. This is the thing that's still a veggie because the thing is a black bean burger still has rice and carrots and other ship in it. You didn't make a whole patty out of black beabs. Okay, it's still I remember when the bulk of burger came out, changing nigga's lives. Okay, these impossible burgers, we may get sued, but I'm telling you there's meeting that bitch. There's meat. We've all had an impossible burgers said, you won't lie to me to day. You will not impossible. Yes, I know you. Nigga just put beat juice in here. So if I cooked this rare, it's gonna like blood is coming out this. A lot of these like these veggie I remember asking a nutrition like my nutrition is on my old nutritions. I was like, question, can I have these veggie sausage patties? And she said, let me look them up. I was like thinking, I told her the company and she looked him up, but she looked at all the ingredients. Yeah, and she was like, I'd rather you eat pork. Wow. I said, what she said, this is a chemistry test. Wow. She said, this is supposed to be the alternative. She said, there's so many chemicals in this. She said, your body can break down pork this. She's like, just eat the meat. Wow. She said, don't need a bunch. And he's like, obviously, don't need the whole back. But like she said, two of these. She said, Yeah, you look at the calories and stuff like that. She said, but there's she said, there's so many chemicals in here, so many yeah, so many chemicals, so many adams, all this other stuff. She's like, just eat regular sausage, wow, because your body can break it down. And I was like, she's also the one that told me that fruit was a car. Oh yeah yeah. And I said, excuse me, yeah, excuse mate, fruit, miss lady, it's fruit. He said, fruit is a car. I said, you're telling me that fruit and bread man that ain't the same thing in the body in the Bible there, like sometimes I don't even know why I try. Yeah, Like, dude, I've never know, I was like my mom in a moment that what I just said that back to you in the body in the Bible. So but maybe she's so happy. Yeah, I need to shout out Mary Anne Hill. You know, yeah, media here in the body, there are there are fruits that process like carbs. No, it's all a card all fruits because like whatever started because like my littuatric she was telling me, it's like I can't have do you know that's all this weight I can't I couldn't have tropical fruit. Also, you know what I couldn't have that'll surprise a lot of people. Grapes? Really? Why? Why? Why grapes? Because he says grapes have as much candy as sugar as candy. Oh I can see that. Yeah, especially you can pop them really easy and pop them like candies. You ever have potting candy grapes. I've stayed away from them. I don't want to like a new thing. Let me tell you something. Put them in you said it was in the fridge for a good minute, and the cold, cold, cold like cal or like pop in the freezer. Don't want to get frozen frozen because the frozen grape is disgusting but also probably crack two. But I can candy grapes cold, cold, cold, Yeah, you can sell a bunch of carnibles all day. But also, who the fuck asked for this? Ask for the grapple science. But the thing about the grapple is that grapples don't smell like grapes. They smell like purple grape flavor. Grape flavor don't taste like grapes. Grape flavor is what purple tastes like. I feel like every fruit can't be a car, Like, like, there's no way the avocado is a that's such a fatty fruit. Well, it's technically a fruit, but every fruit is not a car. But the same way that, like every fruit's not sweet, like technically combers are a fruit. But yeah, but yeah, what kind of lunatic would put that in a fruit salad? Did you ever hear that quote? It's like, um, being intelligent is knowing that a tomato has a fruit, but common sense is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad. I did see that, yeah, and I think that it did sum up what intelligent was. I heard it in high school and I was like, damn, ye'll rarely be out here just thinking about I want to ask you a question about a couch maal okay, okay, all right, all right about toppings sides, I can tell you I dated a man, dated a man the one the white pause me well, asking to marry them, two different things. I saw this grown man order burger plane, yeah, just catch up in cheese, and I was like, I gotta get out of this. Really, I gotta get have this because he eats like a child. Just catch him and cheese, though, like what is it because he didn't get pickles. I just it just was the vibes, and it was just like Also, he was like, I want to go somewhere completely different. And he was stressed because I don't want to eat a burger in Hawaii. I want to eat something else, anything else. Yeah, I want to try maybe Hawaiian food, right, yeah, a roast, just anything anything, you know, a spam much with the mashobie and neat tarot something. Don't laugh while you do it. So it wasn't a laugh. It was pure lustration. Oh okay, right, give me some things. Hum and so I just want and I just he keeps stressing me about this basalt burgers, but salt burgers, but salt burger. I take a bite of said burger, expecting my eyes to he expected. You remember that scene in Pulp Ficture where they opened the suitcase and the light comes out, or in Atlanta when he opens his Jr. Cricket's box and the light from the limon pepper wains hits him. That's what he thought was going to happen. M I took a bite on and fuck, I pressed, and I knew I was gonna be because when he said, when I saw him hold it, I was like that same. This isn't what it's not doing what you think it's doing. It's not giving what it's supposed to give. It wasn't golding what it's supposed to go. Okay, that's jeeves. That that is where it comes to taste and where it's hard, where even when I recommend places like I did it, I did it even before we started recording. I recommend it to everyone that works on this podcast, some burghers that I hope they even like, because now if they don't like them, they'll be like, well, Josh's mouth has gone haywire because he loves these and this is not good. You know what I mean. So I love said I said to my mother one day, she said she didn't like pomegrant. That sold you, right, okay? And I told her her mouth is broken. And then she proceeded to tell me that my tongue is flat. And I can truly tell you, I don't know what that means. Yeah, I don't know if that means the same thing is what you just said. Or I said your mouth is broken. She said your tongue is flat, and I was like, again, oh yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't you've lost me. Yeah, I love my mama. But also when I heard it, it was I must defend myself. And this is this is where I think. This is where I think the burger starts to edge its way out past the chicken sandwich is with the toppings, with the way then what is the topping? Okay? Sorry, no, no, you f what is a topping that you can put on a burger? M that you cannot put? Oh? This is why I say edge out though, because there is no can't. I'm just saying when I put if there's ketchup and mustard on a burger, I'm I'm enjoying myself. Right, I don't necessarily want or knee ketchup and mustard on my chicken sandwich. Ketchup and mustards don't go on a chicken. But but do you see what I mean? How Like in those situations, I start to feel like the burger is edging it out for me, because it's like, if I want to enjoy the tanginess of some mustard, I can put that on my burger, whereas a chicken sandwich doesn't. No, I don't need that, I don't want that. No, you can, I depends on the now. I Okay, this is the thing, M I me, M. Don't necessarily enjoy ketchup. Okay, the only time I eat ketch up I almost almost said eat. I don't know why. Only time I eat to ketch up. One time you catch up is on a hot dog. Yes you mentioned that before. Yeah, sometimes you catch up on a hot dog or a McDonald's cheeseburger because that's how they do there. Yeah. Right, So there's not a lot of situations where I even eat catch up. You can put lettuce and tomato on a chick. One of my favorite things is a fried chicken club or deluxe fried chicken sandwich where you get your lettuce, tomato, your onions, your cheese, maybe sometimes even some bacon too. You know, I'm with you. I just feel like in a burger. You know, there are things like, for instance, this is another one where this is where it starts. To get out landed. You gotta go to your cheeburger cheeburgers for this. You gotta go to some of your other like dying in restaurants to get this. But have I been You've been to a Cheatburger Cheatburger? Oh yeah, uh, where are those at? There's some in the South. There's not that many. I don't know if there's that many to begin with. But I had one in my collegetown in Chreeveport, Louisiana, and then there was one in an airport in It definitely wasn't Jackson, but I was in an airport in the South and there was a Chieburger Chee Burger. Now I will say my favorite fast food burger place is water Burger. Yeah. Yeah. It was very good. To the point that I was in the Dallas Airport and it was in the other terminal, and this is one of the few times i'd got into the airport at a good time and I walked the I think it was like round trip a thirty something almost forty minutes. Geez to go get this burger before I went back to LA. This is my thing those places right that have either the good burger or the special. And I called all a topping usually a condiment to me, it's it's really just condiments that are that are toppings. But to me, a topping like an onion ring, is something that you see on some burger, sometimes offered, and I've had it before, and I'm not gonna lie. The way they did it was just right because it wasn't it wasn't chaos right. It wasn't a hard onion ring that was gonna be crunching and fighting as you tried to eat your burger. It was actually a really nice, flat onioned ring that was perfectly breaded and went right under the bun onto the paddy, and with every bite you got a little bit of onion and that's how you got your onions instead of diced. And I thought that was great. And if I was eating a chicken sandwich, I would I don't think i'd ever mix an onion ring with a chicken sandwich on the sandwich, I can tell you. The time that I have to have a burger, yeah, is when it's a special time in your young girl's life. Oh, I can I can see. I've heard that before. I don't know what it is. I don't know why it is, yeah, but it has to happen. Look, I'll tell you right now there are certain chicken sandwiches that do make me a bit weak. Tell me when when there is hype around a chicken sandwich. I don't know what happens to me. I will not even just Popeyes. It'll be anybody being like, hey, our new chicken sandwich. I act like I haven't had chicken before. I'll get in a line. You're getting a line. I'll get in a line. I won't get in a line first day. I'm not gonna get in the longest line. But I'll wait in the line to be like, let me go ahead and see, just in case it's my new favorite chicken sandwich. It never is. Have we talked about as a society, because I don't think we've one. We truly have not processed COVID yet. No. No, the fact that we've all been collectively traumatized. But have we talked about as a community the pure on brawls m oh yeah, yea. The Popeye chicken sandwich, and then when you finally got one, you were like, this is just a sandwich. It's just a sandwich with the same season, and that you nobody should there should have been now person outside of the Popeye's yelling racial slurs. Yeah, these lines should not. What I don't understand is I don't remember how it got to that point. Society has been breaking down for quite a while. I'll tell you right now that why was the chump had it was? It was in twenty were from twenty sixteen twenty nineteen. We changed as people in those three years. I feel like there's just been a breakdown of just how we talk to each other, how we look at each other, what we want. I think we're talking about some lost people right now, you know, and not just because they lined up. I'm talking about the fights, I'm talking about the slurs I'm talking about I'm talking about the level of hype that you even let come around a chicken sandwich from a place that already sells chicken, so you know what their chicken sandwich is gonna taste like Also, didn't they already have I think they had had before, but I don't think they basically just ran one of the best marketing campaigns in the history of people because it was really like hot in business classes. I couldn't even understand how people were so swept up in it because I didn't have one for maybe three months until after it came out. And that wasn't me trying to avoid It's just I live in New York and there's a Popeye's near me, and there was a line there one time, but then they stopped selling it for a little while, and it, Yeah, it was crazy. I just couldn't. I just really could not understand why people work like I just could, like, it's Popeyes is good, but it's not fist fight in a parking lot. I think I don't know if they've created scarcity. I mean truly, ask yourself if you've ever been into anything worth losing a tooth over. No, then I think I think we have our answer. I think we're all there now. So I'll say this. With the chicken salad, you can get a you can get a wrap, you can get it on a croissant. You can get it on toast. You get a regular bread, you can get it on the blood's diversity in the bread. Then the way that you cook it. It's fried, grilled, it's a chicken salad sandwid. You can get white meat, you can get dark meat. There's a lot of versatility for the chicken salmon, right, you can put it in a rap. It's very good. I'll just say it. For burgers, sometimes they're too thick, sometimes they're too thin. Um. The issue of the there's a lot of times right, because I've finally got I've gotten to the point in the past ten years or started ordering things medium well. I mean well, John, okay, because that's just how we can up dry well, that's just how you grew up. Now, I get things medium well. But sometimes you get things medium well, people think it's medium and then you just end up with a murder show on a bun. Yeah. Um, so I can't handle seeing um bloody meat. M just is that's just who I am. Um. Okay. So in closing, Uh, friends, Americans, me your taste buds, give it a mouth. Tell you I had to ruin it. Uh, you wanted me to about the power and the the overall supremacy of the burger, okay, to its temp, from its type, to its titillating on your taste buds factors, all right, the fat, the salt, the acid, all of all the really delicious things that come that come with cooking meat. Well it gets taken to another level with a burger. Now, yes, you can have a turkey burger if you want while to do that. You can have a veggie burger, all right, nutritious option, But the burger reigns supreme. And with that we kick it over to you, the listener. What are you really feeling? What do you like to bite into? Is it a nice, juicy burger? Is it a scrumptious chicken sandwich? You let us know, all right, because we care and we want to know who you think is right? All right? If you're looking up catch up with us in other places. I have my own podcast, that Josh Johnson Show. It comes out every Thursday where if you get your podcasts, and if you're looking to catch up with Dulsey, you catch me on this podcast. Wild huh. Hold up, y'all, y'all have a great day and a great weekend. Um, we will catch you in the next one. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show wherever you get your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights and eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Fair Amount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast