You're listening to Comedy Central.

You're listening to Comedy Central.

There are a few more stories out there that I'd like to talk about, so I thought i'd bring in some friends to discuss it with me. Please welcome Larry Owens with Tay Olane and Sam Jay.

There are a few more stories out there that I'd like to talk about, so I thought i'd bring in some friends to discuss it with me. Please welcome Larry Owens with Tay Olane and Sam Jay.

Welcome.

Welcome.

Welcome to the show, you guys, thanks for being here tonight.

Welcome to the show, you guys, thanks for being here tonight.

Thank you, thanks for having us.

Thank you, thanks for having us.

There's some stuff in the news that I would like to get your takes on.

There's some stuff in the news that I would like to get your takes on.

First of all, Leo.

First of all, Leo.

DiCaprio is rumored to be dating a nineteen year old woman, but then it said he may not be dating a nineteen year old woman. But I think the truth is that he probably is dating a nineteen year old woman. And he has this pattern right, And a lot of people get upset that he only dates.

DiCaprio is rumored to be dating a nineteen year old woman, but then it said he may not be dating a nineteen year old woman. But I think the truth is that he probably is dating a nineteen year old woman. And he has this pattern right, And a lot of people get upset that he only dates.

His number went from.

His number went from.

Twenty five if this is true, to nineteen, so he's always dated women that are twenty five.

Twenty five if this is true, to nineteen, so he's always dated women that are twenty five.

I have the opposite problem.

I have the opposite problem.

I've only dated men that are in their fifties. Whether I'm in my twenties, in my thirties, or in my forties, I always like older man. So I have like a glass ceiling and he has a glass basement. But do you take a I mean, I obviously I mean, do you take offense to what I mean? I don't understand what the problem is when a man can only date somebody that is like that young, like they don't mature with their.

I've only dated men that are in their fifties. Whether I'm in my twenties, in my thirties, or in my forties, I always like older man. So I have like a glass ceiling and he has a glass basement. But do you take a I mean, I obviously I mean, do you take offense to what I mean? I don't understand what the problem is when a man can only date somebody that is like that young, like they don't mature with their.

Own age, you know, well, as a gay person on Grinder, they always say it's just a preference, it's just a preference.

Own age, you know, well, as a gay person on Grinder, they always say it's just a preference, it's just a preference.

No, for real.

No, for real.

I feel like Leo always does it, like he keeps it right above the you know what I mean, Like he doesn't go too low when you're like criminal.

I feel like Leo always does it, like he keeps it right above the you know what I mean, Like he doesn't go too low when you're like criminal.

I don't have a problem with him specifically because i'm his age.

I don't have a problem with him specifically because i'm his age.

I'm forty seven. I think he's forty eight.

I'm forty seven. I think he's forty eight.

I'll be a forty eight at some point hopefully, But I don't have a problem with him doing that because I think he's just does so much you know, good stuff too, Like he's such a big environmentalist, you know, it's not like he's a scientologist or something.

I'll be a forty eight at some point hopefully, But I don't have a problem with him doing that because I think he's just does so much you know, good stuff too, Like he's such a big environmentalist, you know, it's not like he's a scientologist or something.

My question is like he's on set, he's dealing with agents, he's in some movie, and then he's like, how's your day. She's like, oh, my locker mates the worst.

My question is like he's on set, he's dealing with agents, he's in some movie, and then he's like, how's your day. She's like, oh, my locker mates the worst.

She's Tom Brady's also in the news today because he posted a picture yesterday. It was kind of a thirst trap picture, just on the record, Tom Brady has not come out as gay.

She's Tom Brady's also in the news today because he posted a picture yesterday. It was kind of a thirst trap picture, just on the record, Tom Brady has not come out as gay.

Okay, when he does, tell me.

Okay, when he does, tell me.

Pictures speak louder than words.

Pictures speak louder than words.

Well, my issue with Tom Brady is less about his gayness, about the fact that.

Well, my issue with Tom Brady is less about his gayness, about the fact that.

He let his wife leave him with his children. He broke up his.

He let his wife leave him with his children. He broke up his.

Entire family so he could play an extra season on whatever team he's on, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Entire family so he could play an extra season on whatever team he's on, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Is that right?

Is that right?

Is that the team he's on, She's from Boston Off whatever this is. He let his wife leave him so he can go play where he achieved greatness.

Is that the team he's on, She's from Boston Off whatever this is. He let his wife leave him so he can go play where he achieved greatness.

He became a football god. That takes time.

He became a football god. That takes time.

Yeah, but not yes, Okay, you can class for that, go ahead, but that's not what happened this year. He didn't achieve greatness this.

Yeah, but not yes, Okay, you can class for that, go ahead, but that's not what happened this year. He didn't achieve greatness this.

Year, and that's why he's showing half his paggage.

Year, and that's why he's showing half his paggage.

And it's the half package that bothers me. Why are you covering up the goods?

And it's the half package that bothers me. Why are you covering up the goods?

I know he's sitting there like a kid who's got to beat like a seven year old in church rest a pee like that was his sexy poem.

I know he's sitting there like a kid who's got to beat like a seven year old in church rest a pee like that was his sexy poem.

Are you sitting there like a Greek adonnas with a lot to show you?

Are you sitting there like a Greek adonnas with a lot to show you?

Okay, let's not say things we can't take back.

Okay, let's not say things we can't take back.

And the brown underwear those look like skims quality product.

And the brown underwear those look like skims quality product.

He's everygay Instagram ad. Just in one photo.

He's everygay Instagram ad. Just in one photo.

There's a nine year old named David Balligan.

There's a nine year old named David Balligan.

He graduated from Reach Cyber Charter School after taking online classes, so he's nine. He started high school right before COVID hit, and then he graduated in three years with a four point zero GPA, and he wants to be an astrophysicist.

He graduated from Reach Cyber Charter School after taking online classes, so he's nine. He started high school right before COVID hit, and then he graduated in three years with a four point zero GPA, and he wants to be an astrophysicist.

I mean, this is annoying the shit.

I mean, this is annoying the shit.

Out of it. I mean, he completed.

Out of it. I mean, he completed.

A semester at Bucks County Community College, which is the only thing I have in common with him. I also completed one semester at community college.

A semester at Bucks County Community College, which is the only thing I have in common with him. I also completed one semester at community college.

I don't like when kids get like this, you know what I mean.

I don't like when kids get like this, you know what I mean.

I just want to say, when I was nine years old, I was watching X Men, pretending I was storm and eating tricks for kids, like I don't know, like, how is he already graduating college?

I just want to say, when I was nine years old, I was watching X Men, pretending I was storm and eating tricks for kids, like I don't know, like, how is he already graduating college?

Well, also during COVID, when everybody else is making excuses about not getting anything done because of whatever, because we're sad or lonely or alone or we're not alone enough, and this kid is just hitting it out of the park.

Well, also during COVID, when everybody else is making excuses about not getting anything done because of whatever, because we're sad or lonely or alone or we're not alone enough, and this kid is just hitting it out of the park.

This is another reason not to have kids.

This is another reason not to have kids.

Yeah, do not send him to college, send him to the streets. Okay, we need no more geniuses making AI.

Yeah, do not send him to college, send him to the streets. Okay, we need no more geniuses making AI.

Okay, we need gangsters.

Okay, we need gangsters.

There's been another do new discovery Jupiter. The planet.

There's been another do new discovery Jupiter. The planet.

Has ninety two moons, twelve of which they had missed prior, and they just found twelve more moons surrounding Jupiter.

Has ninety two moons, twelve of which they had missed prior, and they just found twelve more moons surrounding Jupiter.

This is a very confusing time for me, because if you.

This is a very confusing time for me, because if you.

Know me, well, you know that I'm very confused about the galaxy.

Know me, well, you know that I'm very confused about the galaxy.

I just wish like we would all get to a point with scientists would just be like, hey, y'all, we don't know shit and just stop there.

I just wish like we would all get to a point with scientists would just be like, hey, y'all, we don't know shit and just stop there.

Yeah, this is all.

Yeah, this is all.

It's like, y'all don't know.

It's like, y'all don't know.

I don't like finding out about planets or that aliens are coming. I know that there are aliens out there, but I don't want to com mingle with them, you know what I mean. I'm not looking to meet them, and I don't want to find out any more surprising things about the galaxy.

I don't like finding out about planets or that aliens are coming. I know that there are aliens out there, but I don't want to com mingle with them, you know what I mean. I'm not looking to meet them, and I don't want to find out any more surprising things about the galaxy.

It just all kind of annoys me.

It just all kind of annoys me.

It's just like NASA's like a really expensive program to look at rocks.

It's just like NASA's like a really expensive program to look at rocks.

I agree, I agree.

I agree, I agree.

Why are we sending all this money to Joplina or what ever and we can't get there we can't get the PISA on the subway.

Why are we sending all this money to Joplina or what ever and we can't get there we can't get the PISA on the subway.

Priorities people.

Priorities people.

I know, they're like, look at all this water that's on this moon off Jupiter.

I know, they're like, look at all this water that's on this moon off Jupiter.

I'm like, doesn't Flint need better water?

I'm like, doesn't Flint need better water?

Like?

Like?

What are we doing?

What are we doing?

I was wondering, Oh, I love flight attendance, So you didn't.

I was wondering, Oh, I love flight attendance, So you didn't.

Have some Pele's feet on your case?

Have some Pele's feet on your case?

Did I fly here?

Did I fly here?

No?

No?

I did not fly privately here. I try and fly commercially. But it's really disgusting with people and their feet out. I don't understand what happened during COVID. It's like we lost all.

I did not fly privately here. I try and fly commercially. But it's really disgusting with people and their feet out. I don't understand what happened during COVID. It's like we lost all.

I mean, but who this.

I mean, but who this.

I had a flight attendant when I was taking videos of different people, I was putting it on my Instagram because I have to shame these people. And the flight attendant told me that. One flight attendant told me that she you had somebody who came on with oysters on a plane, picked out the oysters and then put the shells in a bag under their seat for the entire plane ride.

I had a flight attendant when I was taking videos of different people, I was putting it on my Instagram because I have to shame these people. And the flight attendant told me that. One flight attendant told me that she you had somebody who came on with oysters on a plane, picked out the oysters and then put the shells in a bag under their seat for the entire plane ride.

That person should have been arrested.

That person should have been arrested.

Remember people, Oh yeah, the hard boiled eggs.

Remember people, Oh yeah, the hard boiled eggs.

Nobody's allowed to bring fish, hard.

Nobody's allowed to bring fish, hard.

Boiled eggs, or your foot out on a plane.

Boiled eggs, or your foot out on a plane.

It's so disgusting.

It's so disgusting.

When remember when people used to dress up. I mean I wasn't alive then, but I heard about it, like twa or something like people would go to the airport.

When remember when people used to dress up. I mean I wasn't alive then, but I heard about it, like twa or something like people would go to the airport.

It was an event and they would put on their jewelry.

It was an event and they would put on their jewelry.

Now it's just like cameltoe feet disgusted. There are more stories out there to talk about, and to help me talk through them, I've brought in some friends. Please welcome Otsco Okotska Rosebud Baker, and Bob the drag Queen. Okay, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, ots Go, how are you.

Now it's just like cameltoe feet disgusted. There are more stories out there to talk about, and to help me talk through them, I've brought in some friends. Please welcome Otsco Okotska Rosebud Baker, and Bob the drag Queen. Okay, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, ots Go, how are you.

I'm good.

I'm good.

Let's talk stories. Well, we have some stories.

Let's talk stories. Well, we have some stories.

We have one of the Kardashian's Courtney, who's the most I guess untouched one. I would say, right, Courtney is coming out with a vaginal gummy, so you take the I'm confused about whether you put the gummy in your mouth or straight directly into your Pikachu.

We have one of the Kardashian's Courtney, who's the most I guess untouched one. I would say, right, Courtney is coming out with a vaginal gummy, so you take the I'm confused about whether you put the gummy in your mouth or straight directly into your Pikachu.

But it's supposed to improve.

But it's supposed to improve.

The smell and taste of your Pikachu and then it tastes like pineapple, so that's I don't know if that's even possible to put a gummy.

The smell and taste of your Pikachu and then it tastes like pineapple, so that's I don't know if that's even possible to put a gummy.

I wouldn't even want that flavor. I would want like arctic blast.

I wouldn't even want that flavor. I would want like arctic blast.

You know, yeah, Minky Fresh, it's gonna surprise some people.

You know, yeah, Minky Fresh, it's gonna surprise some people.

That's if you like the original taste instead of a gummy that makes your tastes like pineapples. I want a seasoning that makes my salad taste like.

That's if you like the original taste instead of a gummy that makes your tastes like pineapples. I want a seasoning that makes my salad taste like.

Yeah, I hear you.

Yeah, I hear you.

I know.

I know.

I sometime I'm sick of products like this. I'm just like, just hold your nose and go down on me.

I sometime I'm sick of products like this. I'm just like, just hold your nose and go down on me.

Just Also, just a regular shower will do it most of the time, you know what I mean.

Just Also, just a regular shower will do it most of the time, you know what I mean.

We don't have to get fancy with this.

We don't have to get fancy with this.

I think I'm the only one that's like, I need this, Okay, hold on.

I think I'm the only one that's like, I need this, Okay, hold on.

Also, they know this.

Also, they know this.

It makes it taste better.

It makes it taste better.

For Can you imagine there was a taste tester, there was a person after a company'd be like, no, no more invitament.

For Can you imagine there was a taste tester, there was a person after a company'd be like, no, no more invitament.

See you know what I mean, nice work if you can get it. I mean the line outside for that job is like, let me tell you, not that long? Was the check back in? Is' she one married? Like Travis Scott with the check or Travis what's his name? Barker? We have a check back in to find out if it works in like sixtak. We see what he says about it.

See you know what I mean, nice work if you can get it. I mean the line outside for that job is like, let me tell you, not that long? Was the check back in? Is' she one married? Like Travis Scott with the check or Travis what's his name? Barker? We have a check back in to find out if it works in like sixtak. We see what he says about it.

Yeah, yeah, Well He seems like he's so in love with he doesn't care what kind of smell or taste is coming out of any orifice.

Yeah, yeah, Well He seems like he's so in love with he doesn't care what kind of smell or taste is coming out of any orifice.

Those two are like inside of each other. Every time you see them on.

Those two are like inside of each other. Every time you see them on.

Tea, they come up with a Dave's Hot Chicken version. I really want to.

Tea, they come up with a Dave's Hot Chicken version. I really want to.

I also already douced. I already eat my yogurt with fruit. So this time, this whole time, I could have been doing it. On the other end, I've been doing it for free.

I also already douced. I already eat my yogurt with fruit. So this time, this whole time, I could have been doing it. On the other end, I've been doing it for free.

Courtney Whitney Houston is releasing a new album.

Courtney Whitney Houston is releasing a new album.

I'm confused by this. This keeps happening.

I'm confused by this. This keeps happening.

If Chupac did this, he started this trend people releasing albums after they died.

If Chupac did this, he started this trend people releasing albums after they died.

Beethoven's releasing something next week too.

Beethoven's releasing something next week too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I thought Abba was releasing because they were nominated for the Grammy Book last week, and I was like.

I thought Abba was releasing because they were nominated for the Grammy Book last week, and I was like.

Abba, I thought they had crossed over as well. I didn't realize that they're.

Abba, I thought they had crossed over as well. I didn't realize that they're.

Still alive and artist side, I thought they had passed on.

Still alive and artist side, I thought they had passed on.

It's gospel.

It's gospel.

It's a gospel album with six previously unreleased.

It's a gospel album with six previously unreleased.

Songs, so it will be new material again. Very surprising.

Songs, so it will be new material again. Very surprising.

It's called Go to the Rock, and I was like, honestly, I was ready for her. Like Lesbian Pride album called Go to the Cobby Hole, That's what one of the songs sounds like a Lesbian Pride song. One of the songs is called it's called hold On to Help Us on the Way, which is a story about on lesbian helping a gay guy kill a spider.

It's called Go to the Rock, and I was like, honestly, I was ready for her. Like Lesbian Pride album called Go to the Cobby Hole, That's what one of the songs sounds like a Lesbian Pride song. One of the songs is called it's called hold On to Help Us on the Way, which is a story about on lesbian helping a gay guy kill a spider.

Go to the Rock is a great name for Like Hunter Biden's book, there was.

Go to the Rock is a great name for Like Hunter Biden's book, there was.

A Japanese in a Japanese zoo.

A Japanese in a Japanese zoo.

They figured out that a female monkey got pregnant despite being separated from all the male monkeys. So when they investigated this situation, they found a hole in the wall. And so this is the first ever monkey glory hole.

They figured out that a female monkey got pregnant despite being separated from all the male monkeys. So when they investigated this situation, they found a hole in the wall. And so this is the first ever monkey glory hole.

I guess.

I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And now the couple is living together and they're going to raise their when they have the baby.

And now the couple is living together and they're going to raise their when they have the baby.

That's where they messed up.

That's where they messed up.

That's where they messed up, because I feel like she should be so lucky, Like we should all be so lucky. You know, most of us have to get pregnant watching a man.

That's where they messed up, because I feel like she should be so lucky, Like we should all be so lucky. You know, most of us have to get pregnant watching a man.

As soon as I heard something a monkey got pregnant in the room by itself, I was like, I promise you Nick Cannon visited that zoo. Any one with anything with a uterus within one hundred square yards of Nick Cannon will get pregnant.

As soon as I heard something a monkey got pregnant in the room by itself, I was like, I promise you Nick Cannon visited that zoo. Any one with anything with a uterus within one hundred square yards of Nick Cannon will get pregnant.

I promise you I have very unwatted pregnancy should be blamed on Nick.

I promise you I have very unwatted pregnancy should be blamed on Nick.

Cannon, right.

Cannon, right.

I think these monkeys sound fun like so in confinement they found a whole I mean, and I heard the other monkey was a different like kind of monkey too.

I think these monkeys sound fun like so in confinement they found a whole I mean, and I heard the other monkey was a different like kind of monkey too.

Interracial monkey for yeh, interracial love.

Interracial monkey for yeh, interracial love.

Aren't we for it? Thank you guys for being here so much.

Aren't we for it? Thank you guys for being here so much.

Thank you, Thank you.

Thank you, Thank you.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you.

Get your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven.

Get your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven.

Ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Faaramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

Ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Faaramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

Wow.

Wow.