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Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. I am one of your hosts. I'm Josh Johnson. I'm a record Daily show. But I'm joined by how are you gonna wait? No no, no, no, no no no, how are you gonna err up the whole time? But then what I clearly tee you up? I so clearly teed up for you to say your name and what you do and that you're a co host. This is where you want to take a pause.

Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. I am one of your hosts. I'm Josh Johnson. I'm a record Daily show. But I'm joined by how are you gonna wait? No no, no, no, no no no, how are you gonna err up the whole time? But then what I clearly tee you up? I so clearly teed up for you to say your name and what you do and that you're a co host. This is where you want to take a pause.

Because I was chewing.

Because I was chewing.

Tell the people who you are.

Tell the people who you are.

Hello, it is me. Don't say slow. They call me spicy cowd row.

Hello, it is me. Don't say slow. They call me spicy cowd row.

Okay, So this show is it's it's it's normally, oh god, it's normally a back and forth, a debate, and sometimes an intense battle between two friends who are diametrically opposed in a lot of ways that don't matter to anyone but us.

Okay, So this show is it's it's it's normally, oh god, it's normally a back and forth, a debate, and sometimes an intense battle between two friends who are diametrically opposed in a lot of ways that don't matter to anyone but us.

Yeah, I think it saved the last day. So Josh as Julia styles.

Yeah, I think it saved the last day. So Josh as Julia styles.

Like what, there's no amount of of of needless and random shots. You won't take.

Like what, there's no amount of of of needless and random shots. You won't take.

What? Look, I don't even know what you mean to give your dreams.

What? Look, I don't even know what you mean to give your dreams.

So today on the show, we're gonna be talking about something that we're very passionate about. Okay, this is something that in the world of bread. These are two juggernauts. I don't know how we landed on opposite sides of this, but it's fine. We'll make it through and we'll learn more about each other in the process. Today we're talking about croissants versus bagels.

So today on the show, we're gonna be talking about something that we're very passionate about. Okay, this is something that in the world of bread. These are two juggernauts. I don't know how we landed on opposite sides of this, but it's fine. We'll make it through and we'll learn more about each other in the process. Today we're talking about croissants versus bagels.

Pick Usye, it's this water.

Pick Usye, it's this water.

Go ahead and tell the people what side you landed on.

Go ahead and tell the people what side you landed on.

I'm on croissants like a good Christian would be.

I'm on croissants like a good Christian would be.

I'm on bagels like a reasonable person.

I'm on bagels like a reasonable person.

You're right, there's a lot of Christians that are giving us a bad name, very unreasonable, not helping at all. They're not paying attention to the book.

You're right, there's a lot of Christians that are giving us a bad name, very unreasonable, not helping at all. They're not paying attention to the book.

How'd you get here? How'd you get to this wayward place where you're on the side of croissant over bagel?

How'd you get here? How'd you get to this wayward place where you're on the side of croissant over bagel?

One? We have to remember mm hm. As we learned in the last episode, Okay, I'm not really a bread person. Yeah, so I have the things that I like, and it usually comes to consistency, texture, okay, and depth. Hey, because usually if you see me with a piece of bread, I probably smushed it flat. Doesn't matter how flat it is, I'm gonna make it flatter. I don't no way. Okay, when it comes to a quissant, mm hmmm, one layers. We've all seen British breaking show. Okay, you gotta do the laminations. Okay, you gotta fold and fold and fold, you gotta roll and fold. You gotta tuck that butter in. Okay, do you get those crispy, flaky layers? Now, Americans, Pillsbury has given us the crescent roll because they try to act like we can't say croissant or a croissant America, and Pillsbury just went just call it a crescent We're not. We're not. We're losing this fight, right all right. So I like the flakiness. I like the butteriness. I like the versatility of a croissant.

One? We have to remember mm hm. As we learned in the last episode, Okay, I'm not really a bread person. Yeah, so I have the things that I like, and it usually comes to consistency, texture, okay, and depth. Hey, because usually if you see me with a piece of bread, I probably smushed it flat. Doesn't matter how flat it is, I'm gonna make it flatter. I don't no way. Okay, when it comes to a quissant, mm hmmm, one layers. We've all seen British breaking show. Okay, you gotta do the laminations. Okay, you gotta fold and fold and fold, you gotta roll and fold. You gotta tuck that butter in. Okay, do you get those crispy, flaky layers? Now, Americans, Pillsbury has given us the crescent roll because they try to act like we can't say croissant or a croissant America, and Pillsbury just went just call it a crescent We're not. We're not. We're losing this fight, right all right. So I like the flakiness. I like the butteriness. I like the versatility of a croissant.

Versatility.

Versatility.

Why your eyes getting bad? What's wrong with you? Oh?

Why your eyes getting bad? What's wrong with you? Oh?

No, no, I'm excited to hear how this is. I just want I want you to finish. I'm excited to hear what you have to say next.

No, no, I'm excited to hear how this is. I just want I want you to finish. I'm excited to hear what you have to say next.

You can do a croissant sweet like a ponton the trouble off. Or you can do a croissant savory throw some ham and cheese on the beach. I love one of my favorite breakfast is growing up, was the croissant sandwich from Burger King. So my preference when it comes to breakfast breads above all else, it's croissant. Why are you laughing at me? Why are you laughing so hard? He said that I should enjoy a croissant from Burger King, You bastard, Oh whoy? Cause you was a McMuffin nigga is that's what it was? You know what? Now? I know how you feel when I attack you, because this laughter feels like a thousand daggers going into my heart. You are a la for me, like somebody who's pronounced a fancy word incorrectly, like I was sitting in a fine dying establishment in order to philemic non. That's how you're laughing at you right now. Somebody who went into a five star Michelin restaurant that was like, Yo, can I get a bottle of your pennant noir? That's how you laughing at me, Like a redneck who just got a lot of money and decided to go somewhere expensive. You were not laughing at me like that from a best Western hotel room. Keep going, keep going, No, No, why are you laughing so hard. I didn't say anything to evoke this kind of reaction because you're laughing sounds elitist. You just got money.

You can do a croissant sweet like a ponton the trouble off. Or you can do a croissant savory throw some ham and cheese on the beach. I love one of my favorite breakfast is growing up, was the croissant sandwich from Burger King. So my preference when it comes to breakfast breads above all else, it's croissant. Why are you laughing at me? Why are you laughing so hard? He said that I should enjoy a croissant from Burger King, You bastard, Oh whoy? Cause you was a McMuffin nigga is that's what it was? You know what? Now? I know how you feel when I attack you, because this laughter feels like a thousand daggers going into my heart. You are a la for me, like somebody who's pronounced a fancy word incorrectly, like I was sitting in a fine dying establishment in order to philemic non. That's how you're laughing at you right now. Somebody who went into a five star Michelin restaurant that was like, Yo, can I get a bottle of your pennant noir? That's how you laughing at me, Like a redneck who just got a lot of money and decided to go somewhere expensive. You were not laughing at me like that from a best Western hotel room. Keep going, keep going, No, No, why are you laughing so hard. I didn't say anything to evoke this kind of reaction because you're laughing sounds elitist. You just got money.

Is that.

Is that.

You've never laughed at me in my life like this, I have never felt the sweat.

You've never laughed at me in my life like this, I have never felt the sweat.

It's everything that you're saying because I initially laughed, but then you just kept you kept doing jokes to my lap, so then that kept being funny. So it's now I've laughed myself out of whatever I was laughing at.

It's everything that you're saying because I initially laughed, but then you just kept you kept doing jokes to my lap, so then that kept being funny. So it's now I've laughed myself out of whatever I was laughing at.

Because now you've laughed at three other things.

Because now you've laughed at three other things.

Like not ae other thing. Oh god, no, keep going, keep going.

Like not ae other thing. Oh god, no, keep going, keep going.

For real, for real, I don't wonder.

For real, for real, I don't wonder.

Oh no, no, no, keep going, keep going. I will. I reserve all judgment at all at all reactions until you're completely done.

Oh no, no, no, keep going, keep going. I will. I reserve all judgment at all at all reactions until you're completely done.

I just enjoy a flakey pistry. And my favorite records food was a croissant sandwich for Burger King with the little hash brown around. I like those. I just enjoyed a croissan because I don't really like like, you know, I'm not a fan of toast. English muffins are fine. My grandma used to make those for us when we were kids, but it's like it's one of those breakfast foods. It's like Okay, this isn't gonna be super fucking dry. Yeah, I can put cream cheese on this, I can put jelly on this. It was also it's kind of like sometimes it was like a treat, like my mom used to buy. There was one summer her and my aunt Bibbet found someplace I don't know. They would always find these like discounts, like a discount store or something, but it was like discount. I just it called it like a dented can store. But it was next door to the bread house. And like, okay, for those that don't know, they had breadhouses in Louisiana, right, I guess.

I just enjoy a flakey pistry. And my favorite records food was a croissant sandwich for Burger King with the little hash brown around. I like those. I just enjoyed a croissan because I don't really like like, you know, I'm not a fan of toast. English muffins are fine. My grandma used to make those for us when we were kids, but it's like it's one of those breakfast foods. It's like Okay, this isn't gonna be super fucking dry. Yeah, I can put cream cheese on this, I can put jelly on this. It was also it's kind of like sometimes it was like a treat, like my mom used to buy. There was one summer her and my aunt Bibbet found someplace I don't know. They would always find these like discounts, like a discount store or something, but it was like discount. I just it called it like a dented can store. But it was next door to the bread house. And like, okay, for those that don't know, they had breadhouses in Louisiana, right, I guess.

So it's a so is it when you say a breadhouse, do you mean like a bakery or.

So it's a so is it when you say a breadhouse, do you mean like a bakery or.

It was like a bread outlet almost, so like Intimates used to have like an outlet, like you know, the people that do like the coffee cake and donuts and shit, they would have their own kind of like outlet store.

It was like a bread outlet almost, so like Intimates used to have like an outlet, like you know, the people that do like the coffee cake and donuts and shit, they would have their own kind of like outlet store.

I feel like there was one of those, but.

I feel like there was one of those, but.

I and I it's like it's not around anymore, but like you could get like my mom used to come home with the fucking loaf of bread that I promised you was like a foot and a half long, and I was like, who the fuck's gonna eat all this bread? So she didn't have to freeze it otherwise it would just go bad. Yeah, she came home one time with like a five pound bag of chicken nuggets, but they were like the high quality chicken nuggets because they weren't pre cooked.

I and I it's like it's not around anymore, but like you could get like my mom used to come home with the fucking loaf of bread that I promised you was like a foot and a half long, and I was like, who the fuck's gonna eat all this bread? So she didn't have to freeze it otherwise it would just go bad. Yeah, she came home one time with like a five pound bag of chicken nuggets, but they were like the high quality chicken nuggets because they weren't pre cooked.

Oh yeah yeah, so you.

Oh yeah yeah, so you.

Really had to put them in like, don't fuck around with these, these are not cooked.

Really had to put them in like, don't fuck around with these, these are not cooked.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then she had a bag of like frozen fresh croissants, like basically it was like the dough and they had like the instructions for like how to do your own egg wash and all this other stuff. And so there's just one summer me and other were just you know, every couple of days. Well he is, you probably had it almost every day. I didn't, but by the time you had to cook. But it was grab a couple of crows and croissants, put him in an oven for a little bit, take him out, do an egg wash. So then there was a fucking high quality chicken nuggies and that was either breakfast or lunch or a snack or whatever. So it's like I kind of fell in love with croissants, Like on a summer vacation, because it's basically what you know, that was my snack every day. Yeah, but I was like in like, I think it was like eighth grade and between eighth grade grainh grade or some shit like that.

And then she had a bag of like frozen fresh croissants, like basically it was like the dough and they had like the instructions for like how to do your own egg wash and all this other stuff. And so there's just one summer me and other were just you know, every couple of days. Well he is, you probably had it almost every day. I didn't, but by the time you had to cook. But it was grab a couple of crows and croissants, put him in an oven for a little bit, take him out, do an egg wash. So then there was a fucking high quality chicken nuggies and that was either breakfast or lunch or a snack or whatever. So it's like I kind of fell in love with croissants, Like on a summer vacation, because it's basically what you know, that was my snack every day. Yeah, but I was like in like, I think it was like eighth grade and between eighth grade grainh grade or some shit like that.

So let's let's take a step back for a second then, because what I what I cannot do is sit here and act like I also don't enjoy a croissant. Yeah, I'm not gonna This is not like in past discussions where we have liked something that the other person found absolutely disgusting. This this is the thing. Croissants, yes, flaky, Yes, when they're in right buttery, and when done right and broken apart, you can truly see the layers and you can eat it in sections. That's the Yeah. To me, that's the mark of a perfectly baked croissant.

So let's let's take a step back for a second then, because what I what I cannot do is sit here and act like I also don't enjoy a croissant. Yeah, I'm not gonna This is not like in past discussions where we have liked something that the other person found absolutely disgusting. This this is the thing. Croissants, yes, flaky, Yes, when they're in right buttery, and when done right and broken apart, you can truly see the layers and you can eat it in sections. That's the Yeah. To me, that's the mark of a perfectly baked croissant.

Yes.

Yes.

The reason that I think that bagels are superior.

The reason that I think that bagels are superior.

You use that word a lot.

You use that word a lot.

I think that bagels edged out over croissants is because washed by New York. Go ahead, Wow, you brought up the structure, versatility, and the way in which it can it can perform as a sandwich. And to that, I say that bagels are always going to edge out over croissants, because croissants allow them are too flimsy, allow them are too flaky, that they don't have the structural integrity to uphold the meats and cheeses that we want to use to make them a sandwich.

I think that bagels edged out over croissants is because washed by New York. Go ahead, Wow, you brought up the structure, versatility, and the way in which it can it can perform as a sandwich. And to that, I say that bagels are always going to edge out over croissants, because croissants allow them are too flimsy, allow them are too flaky, that they don't have the structural integrity to uphold the meats and cheeses that we want to use to make them a sandwich.

But what you have to remember is if you're using a bagel as the buns your bread of a sandwich. Yeah, there's a hole in the middle.

But what you have to remember is if you're using a bagel as the buns your bread of a sandwich. Yeah, there's a hole in the middle.

Okay, so you're.

Okay, so you're.

Gonna you're not gonna get that three sixty pressure. Okay, you're gonna push. Things are gonna shoot out the sides. You're not gonna have the overalls. That also, that's a big bite. Like with a bagel, it's I'm not a fucking copper head. Why am I unhinging my jaw?

Gonna you're not gonna get that three sixty pressure. Okay, you're gonna push. Things are gonna shoot out the sides. You're not gonna have the overalls. That also, that's a big bite. Like with a bagel, it's I'm not a fucking copper head. Why am I unhinging my jaw?

Oh? Then you're doing it wrong because you have to get the bagel toasted and pressed. All right, that's see.

Oh? Then you're doing it wrong because you have to get the bagel toasted and pressed. All right, that's see.

But if I order a bagel.

But if I order a bagel.

Bagel order Wait, what do you mean pressed? So when they toast them there there's two ways to toast a bagel. You can either pop it in the toaster and get a little toasty on either side and then put your jam or put your you know, butter or whatever. Or you can have the whole thing pressed, so it's a little bit flatter. So now you're not biting more than the cannsistency of a sandwich. You're not You're not biting over the level. You're not trying to bite a whole wall. Right, try to bite into the bagel.

Bagel order Wait, what do you mean pressed? So when they toast them there there's two ways to toast a bagel. You can either pop it in the toaster and get a little toasty on either side and then put your jam or put your you know, butter or whatever. Or you can have the whole thing pressed, so it's a little bit flatter. So now you're not biting more than the cannsistency of a sandwich. You're not You're not biting over the level. You're not trying to bite a whole wall. Right, try to bite into the bagel.

Okay, here's my other question. Yeah, I'll see people they'll get a bagel, cut it in half and then start pulling the bread out of the bagel.

Okay, here's my other question. Yeah, I'll see people they'll get a bagel, cut it in half and then start pulling the bread out of the bagel.

Okay, what's that called. I don't know what that's called. I've seen some people do it. I don't do that because I actually want my bagel. That's that's someone who is living a half in, half out lifestyle.

Okay, what's that called. I don't know what that's called. I've seen some people do it. I don't do that because I actually want my bagel. That's that's someone who is living a half in, half out lifestyle.

Okay, that's someone that doesn't want to acknowledge. Just eat the bagel.

Okay, that's someone that doesn't want to acknowledge. Just eat the bagel.

Yeah, yeah, I don't get that cutting it in half and then ripping out the parts and then putting stuff in, or just eating it after you've ripped out the actual bread.

Yeah, yeah, I don't get that cutting it in half and then ripping out the parts and then putting stuff in, or just eating it after you've ripped out the actual bread.

But does it sounds like you just want the skin of a bagel?

But does it sounds like you just want the skin of a bagel?

That's someone Yeah, and skin of a bagel sounds like a serial killer.

That's someone Yeah, and skin of a bagel sounds like a serial killer.

Ooh, you could make the most New York mystery ever.

Ooh, you could make the most New York mystery ever.

But you have a killer just.

But you have a killer just.

Coming out wearing fucking bagel.

Coming out wearing fucking bagel.

Skins, the bagel skin killer.

Skins, the bagel skin killer.

Yes, I just find out there's people that do that and then they just take it and then they have a whole like leather face fucking mask of just different types of bagels they've sewn together. And you know he can because at the seed of every murder is the seasoning from everything bagel.

Yes, I just find out there's people that do that and then they just take it and then they have a whole like leather face fucking mask of just different types of bagels they've sewn together. And you know he can because at the seed of every murder is the seasoning from everything bagel.

There's just sesame seeds all they're.

There's just sesame seeds all they're.

Just seeds all over the.

Just seeds all over the.

Place, just poppy seeds.

Place, just poppy seeds.

Poppy seeds everywhere. Oh fucking nonsense. Just the New York nonsense around a fucking bagel is just exhaust Like the way people are just so pressed about like a New York style bagel and this, and I'm just like, it's it's hot bread. I don't wanna. I'm tired of these things. I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. I don't want to do this anymore. It's like, you know, our bagels are the best, Yeah, but your infrastructure is crumbling. Who gives a fuck? You own nothing. You don't own a motherfucking thing any your life. You are fifty years old, you don't own anything, and you're arguing with me about a bagel. You need to get your life choices better together. I don't understand it. I don't understand the mystique or any of it. It's I don't get it. It's like the way people talk about pizza's, like, oh, New York saw pizza. Who gives a fucking fuck, it's hot bread with sauce on it. I don't. I just I don't get it.

Poppy seeds everywhere. Oh fucking nonsense. Just the New York nonsense around a fucking bagel is just exhaust Like the way people are just so pressed about like a New York style bagel and this, and I'm just like, it's it's hot bread. I don't wanna. I'm tired of these things. I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. I don't want to do this anymore. It's like, you know, our bagels are the best, Yeah, but your infrastructure is crumbling. Who gives a fuck? You own nothing. You don't own a motherfucking thing any your life. You are fifty years old, you don't own anything, and you're arguing with me about a bagel. You need to get your life choices better together. I don't understand it. I don't understand the mystique or any of it. It's I don't get it. It's like the way people talk about pizza's, like, oh, New York saw pizza. Who gives a fucking fuck, it's hot bread with sauce on it. I don't. I just I don't get it.

This is what I'll say about the New York thing is not part of my argument, because to me, the New York bagel is part of the bagel you know, folklore, But it's not why I love bagels.

This is what I'll say about the New York thing is not part of my argument, because to me, the New York bagel is part of the bagel you know, folklore, But it's not why I love bagels.

So geography, because like, do they actually taste different?

So geography, because like, do they actually taste different?

They that actually is a real thing. Depending on the water and depending on the way that someone makes it will make it taste different, which is why sometimes people get in an uproar that are from New York when they have other bagels.

They that actually is a real thing. Depending on the water and depending on the way that someone makes it will make it taste different, which is why sometimes people get in an uproar that are from New York when they have other bagels.

I guess the thing can be said about like anything. It's like, Okay, this beef was grass fed, and you know this beef eight you know insulation? I don't know.

I guess the thing can be said about like anything. It's like, Okay, this beef was grass fed, and you know this beef eight you know insulation? I don't know.

Yeah, no, no, it could be said about anything, and I will even go this far. It's not as noticeable to me when I'm having a bagel from New York versus a bagel from somewhere else that I'm like, it's not ingrained in my taste buds, or I'm having a New York bagel right now versus anywhere else. I think that for me, it's bagels have a better structural hold for sandwiches than croissants do to me, because I think that having bacon, egg and cheese on something a bacon, egg and cheese croissant is falling apart quickly, especially if it's a croissant that's cooked well, if it's not one of these Doughey fakes croissants.

Yeah, no, no, it could be said about anything, and I will even go this far. It's not as noticeable to me when I'm having a bagel from New York versus a bagel from somewhere else that I'm like, it's not ingrained in my taste buds, or I'm having a New York bagel right now versus anywhere else. I think that for me, it's bagels have a better structural hold for sandwiches than croissants do to me, because I think that having bacon, egg and cheese on something a bacon, egg and cheese croissant is falling apart quickly, especially if it's a croissant that's cooked well, if it's not one of these Doughey fakes croissants.

I have had a bad croissant, and I've had a bad bagel, and I've been more pissed about a bad croissant than I've ever been about a bad bagel. Just mad.

I have had a bad croissant, and I've had a bad bagel, and I've been more pissed about a bad croissant than I've ever been about a bad bagel. Just mad.

Now was where'd you get this? Because I've had recently had three bad croissants in three different places. No, No, two of them were my fault. Two of them were truly on me, because one I got in an.

Now was where'd you get this? Because I've had recently had three bad croissants in three different places. No, No, two of them were my fault. Two of them were truly on me, because one I got in an.

Airport and that's the one where I had it where it was bad. Yeah, airport.

Airport and that's the one where I had it where it was bad. Yeah, airport.

Yeah. And the thing is, the crazy thing about airport croissants is that they're either no matter what you do, you're they're gonna be bad because they're either bad because the little bakery that the airport has is in a real bakery, or because they're prepackaged croissants.

Yeah. And the thing is, the crazy thing about airport croissants is that they're either no matter what you do, you're they're gonna be bad because they're either bad because the little bakery that the airport has is in a real bakery, or because they're prepackaged croissants.

And they're super fucking dry.

And they're super fucking dry.

Yeah. Yeah, So in my opinion, when I've had prepackaged bagels, I still got the same bagel t exture and hold for my sandwich that I needed.

Yeah. Yeah, So in my opinion, when I've had prepackaged bagels, I still got the same bagel t exture and hold for my sandwich that I needed.

I'll say the only bagel that I've ever truly enjoyed have been from Panera Bread only because I haven't eaten a lot. I don't eat bagels on a regular basis. I think for me, again, it's a texture thing. It's it's too much bread. Like usually when I get a bagel, I only want half a bagel. I've never eaten a whole bagel and been like, yes, ninety percent of the time, if I'm eating a bagel, it's because I need to eat something.

I'll say the only bagel that I've ever truly enjoyed have been from Panera Bread only because I haven't eaten a lot. I don't eat bagels on a regular basis. I think for me, again, it's a texture thing. It's it's too much bread. Like usually when I get a bagel, I only want half a bagel. I've never eaten a whole bagel and been like, yes, ninety percent of the time, if I'm eating a bagel, it's because I need to eat something.

Okay, So do you think that if someone gave you then now I want to I'm trying to make this as fair as possible because I understand what you're saying about too much bread, because I've also had times in my life where I had a bagel that I couldn't finish. If you had a bagel, cut in half, toasted with the butter on it. Does that change? Like, so we're splitting a bakel. You and I are splitting one bagel right now. We each got half, we each got toasted, we each got it butter. Does that change your opinion on bagels at all?

Okay, So do you think that if someone gave you then now I want to I'm trying to make this as fair as possible because I understand what you're saying about too much bread, because I've also had times in my life where I had a bagel that I couldn't finish. If you had a bagel, cut in half, toasted with the butter on it. Does that change? Like, so we're splitting a bakel. You and I are splitting one bagel right now. We each got half, we each got toasted, we each got it butter. Does that change your opinion on bagels at all?

Where's the rest of the stuff?

Where's the rest of the stuff?

When you say the rest of the stuff, I was just making it a buttered bagel because you talked about a butter croissant.

When you say the rest of the stuff, I was just making it a buttered bagel because you talked about a butter croissant.

Fuck that. No, I need more from a bagel. If I'm eating a bagel, there has to be cream cheese or peanut butter. It has to be. I will not eat a bagel if there's no cream cheese or peanut butter. I won't do it. Cut a bagel half, put in a toaster for a little bit, then put some butter on it, put it back in the toaster. M hm, that's toasty. And then I'm gonna put on some cream cheese and some jelly and little pepper strawberry jelly specifically, or I'm gonna do peanut butter. If I'm doing peanut butter, might do a little honey with it. I might not. But the wildest you're gonna hate this. Oh, people are gonna hate this. So say, this is my bagel?

Fuck that. No, I need more from a bagel. If I'm eating a bagel, there has to be cream cheese or peanut butter. It has to be. I will not eat a bagel if there's no cream cheese or peanut butter. I won't do it. Cut a bagel half, put in a toaster for a little bit, then put some butter on it, put it back in the toaster. M hm, that's toasty. And then I'm gonna put on some cream cheese and some jelly and little pepper strawberry jelly specifically, or I'm gonna do peanut butter. If I'm doing peanut butter, might do a little honey with it. I might not. But the wildest you're gonna hate this. Oh, people are gonna hate this. So say, this is my bagel?

Right, yeah.

Right, yeah.

I took the bagel and then I cut it the length waves you know how you cut a bakeel open bam. Then so I got it, so I cut it watch it gosh bam. Then I was like, man, I kept smushing and smishing and smishing this bagel and it wouldn't get flat. So then I had to cut it in half again. So then I had like four slices. Your face is wild. They just reminded me, I need to check off my time. I got you. I think it's dead.

I took the bagel and then I cut it the length waves you know how you cut a bakeel open bam. Then so I got it, so I cut it watch it gosh bam. Then I was like, man, I kept smushing and smishing and smishing this bagel and it wouldn't get flat. So then I had to cut it in half again. So then I had like four slices. Your face is wild. They just reminded me, I need to check off my time. I got you. I think it's dead.

So and what did you want out of this?

So and what did you want out of this?

At one point I was like, I got too much bagel now, But I had too much bagel to start with, which is why I cut it up to so many pieces. And then those middle pieces that were just you know, I put those in the toaster, and then the heels. I ate them, but I didn't want to.

At one point I was like, I got too much bagel now, But I had too much bagel to start with, which is why I cut it up to so many pieces. And then those middle pieces that were just you know, I put those in the toaster, and then the heels. I ate them, but I didn't want to.

Oh my god, well it took.

Oh my god, well it took.

Me all It took me all day to eat this bagel because I didn't want to waste it.

Me all It took me all day to eat this bagel because I didn't want to waste it.

But you just wanted to mutilate it.

But you just wanted to mutilate it.

Not honestly. It put me in the mind of like bagel chips, because you know, you have a bagel chip and you have like the whole middle, just as like the middle of a bagel.

Not honestly. It put me in the mind of like bagel chips, because you know, you have a bagel chip and you have like the whole middle, just as like the middle of a bagel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I had.

Yeah, that's what I had.

Okay.

Okay.

I really enjoyed it because it got very crispy and then I put my cream cheese on it. It was nice.

I really enjoyed it because it got very crispy and then I put my cream cheese on it. It was nice.

So if anyone out there is listening, there's definitely a market for a quarter of the sized bagels.

So if anyone out there is listening, there's definitely a market for a quarter of the sized bagels.

That's why many bagels. I love many bagels.

That's why many bagels. I love many bagels.

Yeah, many bagels. And then here's the thing I will throw out there for a second. Croissants have a very short especially the ones that are made right, they have a very short shelf life.

Yeah, many bagels. And then here's the thing I will throw out there for a second. Croissants have a very short especially the ones that are made right, they have a very short shelf life.

You gotta eat them when you get them.

You gotta eat them when you get them.

Yeah, I gotta eat them when you get them. Bagels not so much.

Yeah, I gotta eat them when you get them. Bagels not so much.

But there's something in bagels. I think maybe because of the butter content of a bagel, and maybe it's because of like the fact that they're boiled in like a I think they're boiling like a baking soda solution to get like the outside, to get that skin on it, and then they bake them. There's not not a butter in a bake. There's a bunch of butter in a croissant, and I think that's what shortens the shelf life of it.

But there's something in bagels. I think maybe because of the butter content of a bagel, and maybe it's because of like the fact that they're boiled in like a I think they're boiling like a baking soda solution to get like the outside, to get that skin on it, and then they bake them. There's not not a butter in a bake. There's a bunch of butter in a croissant, and I think that's what shortens the shelf life of it.

And us speaking to longevity right here, bagels got that longevity. So if you don't, Let's say you are in a situation where you're like, I can only eat half this bagel right now. The other half will be waiting for you when you get back.

And us speaking to longevity right here, bagels got that longevity. So if you don't, Let's say you are in a situation where you're like, I can only eat half this bagel right now. The other half will be waiting for you when you get back.

But it's never good once you cut it, once you break the seal on a bagel.

But it's never good once you cut it, once you break the seal on a bagel.

I disagree, though, I feel like it depends on what side you eat.

I disagree, though, I feel like it depends on what side you eat.

M what what'd you break? It's still in a bagel. It's not getting off stealing.

M what what'd you break? It's still in a bagel. It's not getting off stealing.

It's not a glad bag. Break the seal on the bagel?

It's not a glad bag. Break the seal on the bagel?

When'd you slice it open? Like the half life starts kicking in? But like I love oh man, Like you know you ever gotten like the big thing of croissants from like a Kroger's.

When'd you slice it open? Like the half life starts kicking in? But like I love oh man, Like you know you ever gotten like the big thing of croissants from like a Kroger's.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You can't do that with crossots.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You can't do that with crossots.

Oh them shits last though, Them big ones that come from the Krogers.

Oh them shits last though, Them big ones that come from the Krogers.

The big way. The big croissants that come from the Kroger last.

The big way. The big croissants that come from the Kroger last.

In a big container that one isn't like in like the cake bin. Them last? Now, how long do you need a bagel to last.

In a big container that one isn't like in like the cake bin. Them last? Now, how long do you need a bagel to last.

I'm just saying throughout the week, okay, So I will buy m h, maybe five in that little packet, that little packet bag of five, and then have one every day, and by the fifth day, that fifth one is still good because the actual expiration date on is for like two weeks.

I'm just saying throughout the week, okay, So I will buy m h, maybe five in that little packet, that little packet bag of five, and then have one every day, and by the fifth day, that fifth one is still good because the actual expiration date on is for like two weeks.

Listen, here's the thing. I could never eat a bagel one day after the other. I had one bagel in a week, maybe two, but day after day after day of a bagel. Nah.

Listen, here's the thing. I could never eat a bagel one day after the other. I had one bagel in a week, maybe two, but day after day after day of a bagel. Nah.

Look, let me tell you what kept me filled when I didn't have money in the bank.

Look, let me tell you what kept me filled when I didn't have money in the bank.

All right, listen, these are I hear you.

All right, listen, these are I hear you.

No, I'm just saying I enjoyed it, though it wasn't some like, oh I'm struggling thing. I was like, man, I get a bagel every day.

No, I'm just saying I enjoyed it, though it wasn't some like, oh I'm struggling thing. I was like, man, I get a bagel every day.

It sounds, but you prefaced it with the struggle.

It sounds, but you prefaced it with the struggle.

I know. But I'm saying I only even thought to do it because I was like, oh, this is cheap and it's good.

I know. But I'm saying I only even thought to do it because I was like, oh, this is cheap and it's good.

So you just learn to buy groceries.

So you just learn to buy groceries.

I mean, this was like right out of college. So yeah, hmm.

I mean, this was like right out of college. So yeah, hmm.

I guess I always had like I don't know, I always had like decent jobs. I don't know, what I'm saying is that a bagel every day is too much for me. One thing I can say is this has been one of the tamest conversations that we've had.

I guess I always had like I don't know, I always had like decent jobs. I don't know, what I'm saying is that a bagel every day is too much for me. One thing I can say is this has been one of the tamest conversations that we've had.

But I just because you have.

But I just because you have.

Been really coming from my neck, because you really are like, I'm in this to win it. I am superior. My thing is a superior race. So I'm trying to like. Man, I'm so glad that Josh is just taking it gued you would be in aggressive, which I'm so glad to see aggressive. Josh is one of my favorite josh Is. But you know you have not swayed me on the babel.

Been really coming from my neck, because you really are like, I'm in this to win it. I am superior. My thing is a superior race. So I'm trying to like. Man, I'm so glad that Josh is just taking it gued you would be in aggressive, which I'm so glad to see aggressive. Josh is one of my favorite josh Is. But you know you have not swayed me on the babel.

I can't believe I haven't. I feel all you said.

I can't believe I haven't. I feel all you said.

Was all you said. You go is musha flat. I gave you texture, I gave you flavor, and you just said it's good meal for poor people. That's what you said.

Was all you said. You go is musha flat. I gave you texture, I gave you flavor, and you just said it's good meal for poor people. That's what you said.

Okay, Look, if you want to talk about texture, you really want to get into texture. There are so many flavors of bagel that will give you everything you will ever need from texture and bread and flavor.

Okay, Look, if you want to talk about texture, you really want to get into texture. There are so many flavors of bagel that will give you everything you will ever need from texture and bread and flavor.

So you're saying that the texture change based on the flavor of the bagel.

So you're saying that the texture change based on the flavor of the bagel.

Mm hmm. It depends some of them. Do like, I think I've never had a problem biting into a cinnamon raisin bagel in the same way that sometimes in everything bagel can be a bit tough, And I think it's because in the preparation for making a cinnamon raisin bagel, they're like a lot of people aren't going to be making bacon, egg and cheeses with these, so we can chill. We can just let people cut it in half and spread some jam on it and go to work.

Mm hmm. It depends some of them. Do like, I think I've never had a problem biting into a cinnamon raisin bagel in the same way that sometimes in everything bagel can be a bit tough, And I think it's because in the preparation for making a cinnamon raisin bagel, they're like a lot of people aren't going to be making bacon, egg and cheeses with these, so we can chill. We can just let people cut it in half and spread some jam on it and go to work.

So you're saying that a cinnamon bagel because it's not going to put through the riggers the work, it's not going to be called in an active duty to become a sausage, egg and cheese, a bacon, egg and cheese, a locks and cheese situation. It can be more dainty, more delicate because it's not going to be called to withstand being a sandwich, while these other flavors, like a plain bagel knows that he's in the trenches.

So you're saying that a cinnamon bagel because it's not going to put through the riggers the work, it's not going to be called in an active duty to become a sausage, egg and cheese, a bacon, egg and cheese, a locks and cheese situation. It can be more dainty, more delicate because it's not going to be called to withstand being a sandwich, while these other flavors, like a plain bagel knows that he's in the trenches.

Mm hm hm.

Mm hm hm.

You know who's not calling did to be in the trenches?

You know who's not calling did to be in the trenches?

Who a croissant.

Who a croissant.

No one is asking a croissant to live like that. You understand a croissant's always live in a light lifestyle.

No one is asking a croissant to live like that. You understand a croissant's always live in a light lifestyle.

Get the hell I got.

Get the hell I got.

I made Josh, I made Josh, didn't.

I made Josh, I made Josh, didn't.

I'm telling you right now that what a croissant can't do is anything but lay there and be buttery and flaky, all right when you try to make it.

I'm telling you right now that what a croissant can't do is anything but lay there and be buttery and flaky, all right when you try to make it.

Are you saying that a croissant is a pillow princess? Because I'm what you're.

Are you saying that a croissant is a pillow princess? Because I'm what you're.

Saying one hundred percent. I'm saying it lays down like a starfish and it doesn't any work. No, Wow, damn you you brought this out. You don't know you asked for this because this is the thing. I let it go before when you were like, oh, when you make a sandwich out of a bagel, there's a hole in the middle. Let me tell you something right now. The shape of a croissant means that a whole bunch of lettuces, a whole bunch of arugulas, a whole bunch of hams are going to be getting missed by.

Saying one hundred percent. I'm saying it lays down like a starfish and it doesn't any work. No, Wow, damn you you brought this out. You don't know you asked for this because this is the thing. I let it go before when you were like, oh, when you make a sandwich out of a bagel, there's a hole in the middle. Let me tell you something right now. The shape of a croissant means that a whole bunch of lettuces, a whole bunch of arugulas, a whole bunch of hams are going to be getting missed by.

That's because you're not getting the right size croissant. I have had croissants, because you can make a croissant flat. If you're dealing with a croissant, you ever, because the thing is there's those long croissants, right, and then there's the one that they make more squat, right, they make it more round because they know all they do when is turning these croissants in the semiches. Okay, there are certain croissants, just like there's certain bagels that have different you know, they're doing a different thing based on the flavorings a croissant, based on what it's doing. You can make a ham and treese croissant while the croissant is in the process of becoming a croissant, so you can integrate the ham and upon the choucolate lot is because you put a chocolate bar inside of a croissant and you put it and you change the shape of it, right, Okay, so now it's baked in, all right, something that's something different. And slicing a croissant open and sweat and you're swiping a tail on it, bitch, When you're making a croissant and you put the ham and cheese while it's in the process, when it's a wee girl, Okay, when it's step one at the bakery and they sitting up folding and laminating and making them layers, and you throw the ham and cheese and like that boom. You've never had a ham and cheese bagel, where ham and cheese is part of the bagel from day one. Okay, no putting fillings in bagels. You put shit on top of bagels all day.

That's because you're not getting the right size croissant. I have had croissants, because you can make a croissant flat. If you're dealing with a croissant, you ever, because the thing is there's those long croissants, right, and then there's the one that they make more squat, right, they make it more round because they know all they do when is turning these croissants in the semiches. Okay, there are certain croissants, just like there's certain bagels that have different you know, they're doing a different thing based on the flavorings a croissant, based on what it's doing. You can make a ham and treese croissant while the croissant is in the process of becoming a croissant, so you can integrate the ham and upon the choucolate lot is because you put a chocolate bar inside of a croissant and you put it and you change the shape of it, right, Okay, so now it's baked in, all right, something that's something different. And slicing a croissant open and sweat and you're swiping a tail on it, bitch, When you're making a croissant and you put the ham and cheese while it's in the process, when it's a wee girl, Okay, when it's step one at the bakery and they sitting up folding and laminating and making them layers, and you throw the ham and cheese and like that boom. You've never had a ham and cheese bagel, where ham and cheese is part of the bagel from day one. Okay, no putting fillings in bagels. You put shit on top of bagels all day.

I get yeah, but wait what Yeah, this is my thing. This is where I'm asking where I maybe got lost. I'm saying that if we're talking about these two things as sandwiches, usually a bagel will cover more ground than a croissant because and.

I get yeah, but wait what Yeah, this is my thing. This is where I'm asking where I maybe got lost. I'm saying that if we're talking about these two things as sandwiches, usually a bagel will cover more ground than a croissant because and.

I'm saying, depending on the shape of the croissant, yeah, you're gonna get different outcomes.

I'm saying, depending on the shape of the croissant, yeah, you're gonna get different outcomes.

But that's what I've watched though, when you go to Starbucks, when you go to some of these bakeries that have the little display sandwich and they have a like almost completely a rectangular or square cut of meat, but they have the triangle croissant. In my head, I'm like, why would anybody want that? You have to then fold it yourself into itself just to eat it like a sandwich.

But that's what I've watched though, when you go to Starbucks, when you go to some of these bakeries that have the little display sandwich and they have a like almost completely a rectangular or square cut of meat, but they have the triangle croissant. In my head, I'm like, why would anybody want that? You have to then fold it yourself into itself just to eat it like a sandwich.

I hear what you're saying.

I hear what you're saying.

Yeah, when you try to put a square into a triangle, you're gonna have two flaps of meat that are just waving.

Yeah, when you try to put a square into a triangle, you're gonna have two flaps of meat that are just waving.

But it's just like when you get a bag sandwich and lettuces, and you've got square cheese on a round bagel. You've got square meats on a round bagel. You got lettuce shapes on a round stuff hangs out on a bagel.

But it's just like when you get a bag sandwich and lettuces, and you've got square cheese on a round bagel. You've got square meats on a round bagel. You got lettuce shapes on a round stuff hangs out on a bagel.

Sandwichho not as much though.

Sandwichho not as much though.

Listen, you're not fucking with the right kind of croissants. Baby. I love a chicken salad on a croissant.

Listen, you're not fucking with the right kind of croissants. Baby. I love a chicken salad on a croissant.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Like a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant.

Like a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant.

That sounds like too much for me.

That sounds like too much for me.

I mean you love spaghetti, so of course it is. What I'm saying. Is that use a simple man, Joshua. Well, I, on the other hand, enjoy a decade in opulent life. Well, look of croissants, Lasanya and vanilla ice crepe.

I mean you love spaghetti, so of course it is. What I'm saying. Is that use a simple man, Joshua. Well, I, on the other hand, enjoy a decade in opulent life. Well, look of croissants, Lasanya and vanilla ice crepe.

You sound insane at the moment.

You sound insane at the moment.

Listen when don't I Okay, Well, that's why you're friends with me, because I say wild. If I was as logical as you, this would not be any fun.

Listen when don't I Okay, Well, that's why you're friends with me, because I say wild. If I was as logical as you, this would not be any fun.

Sure, But I'm sad.

Sure, But I'm sad.

If I made as much sense as you did all the time, you wouldn't like that.

If I made as much sense as you did all the time, you wouldn't like that.

I think this is what I think, This is what I think is happening right now is because you're losing. No no, no, no, no no, trust me, Trust me. You're not doing as well as you think you don't.

I think this is what I think, This is what I think is happening right now is because you're losing. No no, no, no, no no, trust me, Trust me. You're not doing as well as you think you don't.

I don't think i'm doing bad. Listen, I don't think i'm doing It doesn't matter how well i'm doing. I don't think i'm doing bad.

I don't think i'm doing bad. Listen, I don't think i'm doing It doesn't matter how well i'm doing. I don't think i'm doing bad.

Well. I think that you have mistaken the poor knockoffs of croissants. You're conflating them with the actual croissants, because with bagels, there's there's a level of uniformity, a circle, fake bagel. Okay, these crescent rolls, these burger kings, sandwich croissant cheese like abominations.

Well. I think that you have mistaken the poor knockoffs of croissants. You're conflating them with the actual croissants, because with bagels, there's there's a level of uniformity, a circle, fake bagel. Okay, these crescent rolls, these burger kings, sandwich croissant cheese like abominations.

I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you right there. Do I eat crescent rolls? No? Because I know it's American foolishness. Okay, I've never made them. I've never tried to make them. Unless somebody's making pigs in a blanket. I'm not eating a crescent roll. I'm going to get your real bakery, fluffy croissant. But croissants do come in different shapes. But I will not sit here and let you slander the burger king croissant, because that that right there, that's a sturdy, sick ass croissant that's holding up to sausage, egg and cheese, and it's not a thin flimsy. Is the thickest croissant I've ever laid my good American eyes on.

I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you right there. Do I eat crescent rolls? No? Because I know it's American foolishness. Okay, I've never made them. I've never tried to make them. Unless somebody's making pigs in a blanket. I'm not eating a crescent roll. I'm going to get your real bakery, fluffy croissant. But croissants do come in different shapes. But I will not sit here and let you slander the burger king croissant, because that that right there, that's a sturdy, sick ass croissant that's holding up to sausage, egg and cheese, and it's not a thin flimsy. Is the thickest croissant I've ever laid my good American eyes on.

It's a fat croissant. No, it's a Brazilian butt lift of croissants. WHOA wow?

It's a fat croissant. No, it's a Brazilian butt lift of croissants. WHOA wow?

See you said you can't say I say wild shit, because I'm gonna tell you this. The number of times I've had bagels and thought I was eating wax. Okay, the number of times I went to cut into a bagel and it pushed back at a knife and said no, thank you. Mm hmmm. One of the hart I'm telling you the number of officers that I have worked at. There is number a time in your life to make you rethink your decisions. When you were trying to cut a military grade fucking bagel with a plastic kitchen knife, I have a breakthrough. There is nothing to make you rethink your decisions like trying to cut one of these wwe hulk a Mania fucking crysal fucking bagels with a plastic Have you ever tried to cut a play go with a plastic fork and realized you were cutting for too long? But a plastic knife do that? And that's I'm.

See you said you can't say I say wild shit, because I'm gonna tell you this. The number of times I've had bagels and thought I was eating wax. Okay, the number of times I went to cut into a bagel and it pushed back at a knife and said no, thank you. Mm hmmm. One of the hart I'm telling you the number of officers that I have worked at. There is number a time in your life to make you rethink your decisions. When you were trying to cut a military grade fucking bagel with a plastic kitchen knife, I have a breakthrough. There is nothing to make you rethink your decisions like trying to cut one of these wwe hulk a Mania fucking crysal fucking bagels with a plastic Have you ever tried to cut a play go with a plastic fork and realized you were cutting for too long? But a plastic knife do that? And that's I'm.

Saying plastic knives to real knife fights, all right, No, no, no, no, blame the bagel.

Saying plastic knives to real knife fights, all right, No, no, no, no, blame the bagel.

Hold on, hold on, I don't bring plastic knives because the knife in my purse is metal. I'm talking about the knife in the break room.

Hold on, hold on, I don't bring plastic knives because the knife in my purse is metal. I'm talking about the knife in the break room.

That's just because you were because you weren't adequately set up for success. You can't then blame the bagel.

That's just because you were because you weren't adequately set up for success. You can't then blame the bagel.

Bread should be able to be cut by serration. Okay, if you out here with these industrial bagels, do you need industrial equipment? I should even give it.

Bread should be able to be cut by serration. Okay, if you out here with these industrial bagels, do you need industrial equipment? I should even give it.

You can't blame the bagel.

You can't blame the bagel.

But the bagel was wrong. Okay. You got this fake ass being himself.

But the bagel was wrong. Okay. You got this fake ass being himself.

All right, you change the bagel, okay, trying to Hey, why can't you be like this? Why can't you be a bae?

All right, you change the bagel, okay, trying to Hey, why can't you be like this? Why can't you be a bae?

You out here being cheap. It's obviously that you're yea's cheap. Your flour reused? Okay, bagel out here looking like it was reconstituted, all right, fucking freeze dried bagel. No, I have gone toe to toe with a bagel, and I don't want to do it again. The crumbling, okay, dust everywhere, You gonna bite down? Huh, open your mouth back up, don't put me in there. The number of times I had a bagel soldier. Ain't enough cream cheese on this good world, on this soon to be doomed planet for some of these bagels out here. Don't you act like that all these bagels are good, they are created equal. Don't you do that? Don't you dare do that? Rude? So you know what we're gonna do. We're gonna kick it over to the listeners. That's what's gonna happen because this is truly, truly, I am past, and it pass because it's all we can do is sling insults, and that's not what I want to do. What I want to do is take a nap. So what's not going to happen is you to continue. There's no fake croissants right in the same way that I don't think that there's fake bagels. I don't think that there's fake faked goods. Now, Do I feel like they are made at different qualities? Yes? Like everything, you know, sometimes you're out here fucking with the best. Sometimes you got to offshoot, all right, Sometimes you're having fine dining experiences, and sometimes you're in a drive through. It is what it is. But we have to say that we have our preferences and yours are usually wrong.

You out here being cheap. It's obviously that you're yea's cheap. Your flour reused? Okay, bagel out here looking like it was reconstituted, all right, fucking freeze dried bagel. No, I have gone toe to toe with a bagel, and I don't want to do it again. The crumbling, okay, dust everywhere, You gonna bite down? Huh, open your mouth back up, don't put me in there. The number of times I had a bagel soldier. Ain't enough cream cheese on this good world, on this soon to be doomed planet for some of these bagels out here. Don't you act like that all these bagels are good, they are created equal. Don't you do that? Don't you dare do that? Rude? So you know what we're gonna do. We're gonna kick it over to the listeners. That's what's gonna happen because this is truly, truly, I am past, and it pass because it's all we can do is sling insults, and that's not what I want to do. What I want to do is take a nap. So what's not going to happen is you to continue. There's no fake croissants right in the same way that I don't think that there's fake bagels. I don't think that there's fake faked goods. Now, Do I feel like they are made at different qualities? Yes? Like everything, you know, sometimes you're out here fucking with the best. Sometimes you got to offshoot, all right, Sometimes you're having fine dining experiences, and sometimes you're in a drive through. It is what it is. But we have to say that we have our preferences and yours are usually wrong.

Wow. Mm hm, I knew you'd sneak it in.

Wow. Mm hm, I knew you'd sneak it in.

Listen, you take started out, asked opportunity, you be completely reasonable, and then at the last second you would slap the books out of my hand.

Listen, you take started out, asked opportunity, you be completely reasonable, and then at the last second you would slap the books out of my hand.

Yo, there's nothing funnier the slapping the books out of somebody's I don't why it's so funny.

Yo, there's nothing funnier the slapping the books out of somebody's I don't why it's so funny.

It's very funny because when you get the books slapped out of your head, the first thing you do is look down between your open arms of the books. And that is funny that.

It's very funny because when you get the books slapped out of your head, the first thing you do is look down between your open arms of the books. And that is funny that.

Listen, in your life, have you had the book slapped out more? Or have you slapped more books?

Listen, in your life, have you had the book slapped out more? Or have you slapped more books?

Look at who you're talking to. Why would you even ask me that?

Look at who you're talking to. Why would you even ask me that?

Because I wanted to know what the answer was, because I want to know that I was accurate. But I can say that I'm a strong fifty to fifty for book slapping and books slapped out of hand, but I can't say it's always been in jest. So yeah, listen, I did what I always do. I showed you that I'm a reasonable person who can agree with opinions that are stated as facts. When you are always going to say that I live a wild and chaotic life because I like the things that I like, so I can say that you are out of your damn mind.

Because I wanted to know what the answer was, because I want to know that I was accurate. But I can say that I'm a strong fifty to fifty for book slapping and books slapped out of hand, but I can't say it's always been in jest. So yeah, listen, I did what I always do. I showed you that I'm a reasonable person who can agree with opinions that are stated as facts. When you are always going to say that I live a wild and chaotic life because I like the things that I like, so I can say that you are out of your damn mind.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong?

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong?

You eating the bagels like sucking on a sweater. We're fully aware of this.

You eating the bagels like sucking on a sweater. We're fully aware of this.

What are you saying right now?

What are you saying right now?

So we're going to throw it to the listeners. I realize I laugh way more on this than you do.

So we're going to throw it to the listeners. I realize I laugh way more on this than you do.

I tried so hard this episode to really find some common ground.

I tried so hard this episode to really find some common ground.

We did.

We did.

I tried to offer up nuanced takes and opinions.

I tried to offer up nuanced takes and opinions.

And why are you talking like that?

And why are you talking like that?

But still what to the last?

But still what to the last?

What you mean?

What you mean?

You come for me and you attack the things I love and just put them down in a way that is that? Is that that that? That's like cartoonish in the way that you come. It's not like second off sweater at all. Nope, not like that. Buits not like that either. It is a delicious tree. It's a way to start your day. It's a way to hand your.

You come for me and you attack the things I love and just put them down in a way that is that? Is that that that? That's like cartoonish in the way that you come. It's not like second off sweater at all. Nope, not like that. Buits not like that either. It is a delicious tree. It's a way to start your day. It's a way to hand your.

Day, which all right, just get sliced bread. Why are you in here putting ear ups on meat and cheez fucking insane?

Day, which all right, just get sliced bread. Why are you in here putting ear ups on meat and cheez fucking insane?

So we just want to say thank you all so much for listening. We appreciate you, and we hope you have a great time hearing our chad back and forth about this thing that one of us is very passionate about and one of us is very wrong about. Okay oo oo's passionate.

So we just want to say thank you all so much for listening. We appreciate you, and we hope you have a great time hearing our chad back and forth about this thing that one of us is very passionate about and one of us is very wrong about. Okay oo oo's passionate.

This is never gonna be a safe space to express my opinion because Josh starts out by saying that his position is superior at the beginning of every single episode. This is the one thousand, four hundred and eighty third episode of this podcast, and Josh Johnson every single time talks about how his position is superior. Listen. I did not sit up and do eight thousand episodes of this podcast to be treated this way. Okay, we've been recording this podcast nineteen seventy six. I do not understand well. I have been subjected to such truement.

This is never gonna be a safe space to express my opinion because Josh starts out by saying that his position is superior at the beginning of every single episode. This is the one thousand, four hundred and eighty third episode of this podcast, and Josh Johnson every single time talks about how his position is superior. Listen. I did not sit up and do eight thousand episodes of this podcast to be treated this way. Okay, we've been recording this podcast nineteen seventy six. I do not understand well. I have been subjected to such truement.

Everything that you have said is demogtrubly false. Like I can't even I can't even be okay. First of all, I opened up the episode by saying I can't hate on croissants. I can't act like you didn't you did.

Everything that you have said is demogtrubly false. Like I can't even I can't even be okay. First of all, I opened up the episode by saying I can't hate on croissants. I can't act like you didn't you did.

You said you can't hate on it and then called George superior.

You said you can't hate on it and then called George superior.

I said, I said it edges it out.

I said, I said it edges it out.

Listen, it's okay, you tell me it's okay.

Listen, it's okay, you tell me it's okay.

After everything this episode, you go to sit here and be like, this is okay. What By the end of every episode, I feel like a crazy person because you've taken me to a place that I had no intention of going.

After everything this episode, you go to sit here and be like, this is okay. What By the end of every episode, I feel like a crazy person because you've taken me to a place that I had no intention of going.

But this is actually the most docile one we've had, sure in a long time, because the last one you were Maddy versus Lasaiah. You didn't know what to do with yourself.

But this is actually the most docile one we've had, sure in a long time, because the last one you were Maddy versus Lasaiah. You didn't know what to do with yourself.

I didn't know what to do with myself. Have a great rest of the day and a wonderful weekend, Loony Jones. Now you're just saying things like I have no context. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paaramount Plus.

I didn't know what to do with myself. Have a great rest of the day and a wonderful weekend, Loony Jones. Now you're just saying things like I have no context. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paaramount Plus.

This has been a Comedy Central podcastow

This has been a Comedy Central podcastow