Pride doesn’t always look like arrogance or boasting. Sometimes it shows up in quieter ways—talking more than listening, only investing in people who seem useful, or constantly saying there isn’t enough time for others. These subtle forms of pride can reveal that our attention is more focused on ourselves than on loving and serving the people around us.

Philippians 2:3-4 calls Christians to replace selfish ambition with humility by considering others and their interests. Following Jesus means examining not only what we do, but also why we do it. When we become more willing to listen, make time for others, and engage with people without expecting something in return, we begin to reflect the humility of Christ. Recognizing subtle pride isn’t about condemning ourselves—it’s about allowing God to reshape our priorities, relationships, and hearts.

Highlights

• How pride can appear in subtle ways we may not immediately recognize
• Why only engaging with people who are useful can reveal selfishness
• What listening more and speaking less can teach us about humility
• Why “I don’t have time” may actually reveal our priorities
• How Philippians 2:3-4 challenges us to consider others more important than ourselves
• Why honest self-examination is essential for recognizing pride in our lives
• Practical ways to replace selfishness and conceit with humility, generosity, and genuine care for others

Want more encouragement throughout your week? Subscribe to The Good Word, LifeAudio’s free weekly newsletter.

Sign up at LifeAudio.com/thegoodword

Do you want to listen ad-free?

When you join Crosswalk Plus, you gain access to exclusive, in-depth Bible study guides, devotionals, sound biblical advice, and daily encouragement from trusted pastors and authors—resources designed to strengthen your faith and equip you to live it out boldly. PLUS ad free podcasts! 

Sign Up Today!

Full Transcript Below:

Surprising Ways Pride Shows Itself

By Aaron D’Anthony Brown

Bible Reading:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, CSB)

In his epistle to the church of Phillipi, Paul urges fellow believers to be “united in spirit” with one another (Philippians 2:2). He wanted everyone to be on the same page with what they believed and how they lived as Christ followers. He goes on to say that such a life is lived by esteeming others as more important than ourselves. Don’t look to what brings you the most glory; do what benefits others. We hear the same sentiment preached in church today, but how many of us live this out? 

While our pastors talk about loving our neighbors, building the church up from within, and sharing the Gospel with nonbelievers, we don’t often seem to be on the same accord. Even if we do these things, our motivations are sometimes selfish. We should be prioritizing others, but really, we’re interested in ourselves. 

I’ve heard believers say things like “I enjoy hearing myself talk,” or claim they don’t have time to hang out with other Christians. Then suddenly they’re dating someone, which requires a lot more time. Or perhaps the only time they show genuine interest in you is when you’re going through a hard time. Otherwise, you’re simply not important.

Naturally, we won’t be close to or have deep conversations with everyone. However, it’s important to consider whether day-to-day relationships, conversations, and actions reflect selfish conceit or humility.

Perhaps, we have such a hard time esteeming others as more important because in our minds, no one is more important than ourselves. Pride is often called one of the most deadly sins, maybe the most deadly. When we start thinking we know best, it becomes a gateway for other sins. 

You might not think of yourself as prideful - I generally don’t - but if we’re being honest, we can all be a bit prideful sometimes. C.S Lewis said, “There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which everyone in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else, and of which hardly any people, except Christians, ever imagine that they are guilty themselves” (Mere Christianity). The sooner we acknowledge this truth, the sooner we can change our thinking and get ourselves on one accord.

Intersecting Faith & Life:

Most people won’t need help identifying the major ways pride affects our lives, but who says pride can’t be subtle? Here are three ways we might not even realize:

Only engaging with people who are useful.

One mistake Christians make is only engaging with people at church who are useful. This means ignoring others until they join your team or become a friend of your friend, etc. Don’t we all have some measure of importance and worth given by God? Why not be open to speaking and engaging with people as the norm?

For those who don’t, when you finally decide to interact, you risk making the encounter uncomfortable, and more than that, disingenuous.  

Talking as opposed to listening.

The Bible says to be slow to speak and quick to listen, but few live this out (James 1:19). God gave us two ears and one mouth. I’ve been told there should be a ratio for how we communicate: listen twice as much as you speak.

Not making time for others.

We’re probably all guilty of using the phrase, “I haven’t had the time,” but if we took time to consider what that statement means, we’d say something else instead. Everyone is given the same amount of time within a day. Twenty-four hours. However, we all use our time differently. The issue is not having enough time, but rather priority - what’s important and what’s not. Or at the very least, what is most important. We prioritize what we value most.

Therefore, we should stop telling people we don’t have time to do that favor, read that book, or do that thing. We simply haven't made the time yet. That’s the honest answer.

And the sooner we can be more honest, the sooner we can stop pride from stifling our callings.

Further Reading:

Proverbs 11:2

Proverbs 16:18

Proverbs 29:23

Jeremiah 9:23