Stress can affect every area of life, from finances and work to family and relationships. But when pressure builds, where do we turn first? In “Staying Strong, Not Stressed,” Cindi McMenamin explains why taking our stress to God before placing emotional expectations on the people around us can strengthen both our faith and our relationships.

God already knows every thought, frustration, and word before we express it, making Him the perfect place to bring our burdens first. Cindi shares three practical habits for navigating stressful seasons: tell God first, trust His promises, and thank Him constantly. While these practices may not immediately change our circumstances, they can change how we respond to them and help us become a source of encouragement rather than additional stress for those around us.

Highlights

• Why stress can unintentionally create tension in our closest relationships
• How taking our frustrations to God first can provide stability and perspective
• Why we shouldn't expect our spouse, children, or friends to carry the full weight of our emotional needs
• The Three T's for handling stress: Tell God First, Trust God's Promises, and Thank God Constantly
• How Scripture provides encouragement when facing financial, relational, work, or health-related stress
• Why gratitude can change our attitude even when circumstances remain difficult
• How depending on God can help us become better encouragers to others

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Full Transcript Below:

Staying Strong, Not Stressed
By Cindi McMenamin

Bible Reading:
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, Lord, You know it all (Psalm 139:4 NASB). 

Stress—whether it’s physical, emotional, relational, or financial—can take its toll on any of us. 

But how do we handle stress so we don’t push others away from us? 

I used to find myself reaching out to my husband or my young adult daughter to get the relief, encouragement, or support I needed to get through stressful times. I would provide explanations for my stressed-out behavior and seek their understanding. But I’ve learned through the years that having such expectations of others can backfire. 

You and I can push our marriages over the edge if we let our spouses know they are not meeting our emotional needs or expectations at a time when they might be dealing with multiple frustrations as well. 

We can also damage our relationships with our children—regardless of their ages—when we expect them to be there for us, emotionally, when they might not feel equipped to do what it is we are expecting of them, or respond in a way that will meet our emotional needs. 

There have been many times in the past several years that I’ve had to make a conscious decision not to lay my expectations on my husband or daughter when I’ve felt particularly stressed, regardless of the source. And as I began to take my troubles and stressful times to God first, I found that I was not only more able and stable to deal with whatever came my way, but I could help others in my family through whatever they were going through, as well. 

David sang in Psalm 139:4 that God knows everything we are going to say, even before there is a word on our tongues. He knows our thoughts before we think them, our words before we say them, and our actions before we carry them out. 

Certainly, a God like that is the One we should be going to first when we begin to feel stressed. 

Intersecting Faith & Life: 

Today, when stress starts rearing its ugly head in my life, I practice these “Three T’s” on a daily basis to stay strong during difficult times: 

1. Tell God First—Sometimes you and I need to vent or just talk aloud about what we’re feeling. But our frustrations can come across as accusations or complaints if we’re not careful. And since it is natural for others who love and care about us to try to find a solution to fix our stressful situation, when we just wanted someone to listen, it’s better to go to God with the venting first. Sure, God already knows what we’re going to say, according to Psalm 139:4. But by telling God first all that is on our hearts and minds, He can be the “buffer.”  
2. Trust God’s Promises—The Bible is full of God’s promises about His provision and protection. So, when we become troubled about finances, or a work deadline, or health issues, we can find comfort just by remembering some of God’s encouraging words to His people. In Philippians 4:19, Paul says, “My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” And Romans 8:28 tells us, “we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Keep stress sidelined by banking on the promises in the Bible and taking God at His Word. 

1. Thank God Constantly—No matter what the situation, there’s always something to be thankful for. One of my friends was discouraged that her husband’s new job didn’t pay as well as his previous one. But some income was better than none. Another friend complained about her teenager’s disinterest in school and his unwillingness to "apply himself,” yet he was still very interested in his church's youth group. We can become people of praise with a contagious positive attitude when we obey God’s command in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to “give thanks in all circumstances.” A thankful spouse, parent, or friend is pleasant to be around. 

When you and I practice these three T’s—telling God first, trusting His promises, and thanking Him constantly—our circumstances might not change immediately. But by depending on God—and not solely on others—we can not only alleviate the stress in our lives, but we can become encouragers who model to others how to handle stress in their lives as well. 

Further Reading:
Psalm 62:5-8

To grow more dependent on God, and improve your relationships, see Cindi’s book, The New Loneliness Devotional: 50 Days to a Closer Connection with God.