The Prince of the Provinces is about to do a royal visit of his principality, the regions, bearing gifts to tune of $1.2 billion from his Regional Infrastructure Fund. But has he been bought off by the mining industry? Should be giving Adrian Orr a punt up the backside. Why does he refuse to worship at the Altar of Climate Change? Why's he so aggrieved by Debbie and Darleen? And what does he make of Donald Trump?