Approache production.

Approache production.

For the record.

For the record.

I'm done trying to make you uncomfortable for the record. You ain't trying to grow downy stuff for your for the record.

I'm done trying to make you uncomfortable for the record. You ain't trying to grow downy stuff for your for the record.

Laugh on me going.

Laugh on me going.

Hard the way for the record. Ain't trying to link, No trying to waste for the.

Hard the way for the record. Ain't trying to link, No trying to waste for the.

Record, for the record, for the for the record, for the record, for the record, record for the record.

Record, for the record, for the for the record, for the record, for the record, record for the record.

I don't try and make you uncomfortable.

I don't try and make you uncomfortable.

Welcome back to your Click podcast. This is Jay Brent's producer, and you would have heard in the last episode Brent and stories about really from six years old to seventeen. We pick up the chat with Brent around his first time walking in to Long Bay Jail as an eight eight year old.

Welcome back to your Click podcast. This is Jay Brent's producer, and you would have heard in the last episode Brent and stories about really from six years old to seventeen. We pick up the chat with Brent around his first time walking in to Long Bay Jail as an eight eight year old.

I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for what Jaile's like to go into, especially as a young person. You shitting yourself, you know, Like I knew how the system worked, I knew how to get myself around. I knew not to sort of get in there and try and big note on you to shut my mouth and just fucking you know, keep your eyes sort of to the ground, but you know, put your back in the corner and just don't worry about anyone else's doing.

I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for what Jaile's like to go into, especially as a young person. You shitting yourself, you know, Like I knew how the system worked, I knew how to get myself around. I knew not to sort of get in there and try and big note on you to shut my mouth and just fucking you know, keep your eyes sort of to the ground, but you know, put your back in the corner and just don't worry about anyone else's doing.

Just do your own, jar. I don't think it could.

Just do your own, jar. I don't think it could.

Be prepared for what really happened because at that time I over my Lap had just been arrested. So he was in seven wing at the ric at Long Bay, and I didn't know who the fuck over my Lap was back then. I just guess it ended up two out of him for free nights, and I had no idea the basic goal, mate, do you know?

Be prepared for what really happened because at that time I over my Lap had just been arrested. So he was in seven wing at the ric at Long Bay, and I didn't know who the fuck over my Lap was back then. I just guess it ended up two out of him for free nights, and I had no idea the basic goal, mate, do you know?

Do you know who that bloke is?

Do you know who that bloke is?

I don't know.

I don't know.

And they're starting to tell me and one of the sweepers comes up and he said, listen. He said, I'm going to get you out of that cell. And I said, well, is it really? He goes man, I'm going to get you out of that cell. The fact then, you know, I was in the presence of Lenny McPherson, con Contranarcus, A lot of the big players from the Cross back then were there. You know, you had some very very hectic and dangerous men. Nine wing was a transit wing, but you know blokes that were doing ten plus years and it was it was very dangerous, very dangerous, and a long Bay there was a circle, so to get anywhere you had to walk out from the wing into a circle. It'd be like gate up, chief and the chief of come where you're going. I'm gonna go to the pill shoot or whatever. The next minute, boom and blokes would jump in and out of yards. I just picked up on that. It's not something that I did. I just observed a lot, you know, and no matter what you were on show, everybody knew you were there. If you walked out in that circle, every yard could see you. So if you had bad blood, or you had drama, or someone you were going to get got It's as simple as that. For an eighteen year old going into DAH, I was like, Wow, where am I?

And they're starting to tell me and one of the sweepers comes up and he said, listen. He said, I'm going to get you out of that cell. And I said, well, is it really? He goes man, I'm going to get you out of that cell. The fact then, you know, I was in the presence of Lenny McPherson, con Contranarcus, A lot of the big players from the Cross back then were there. You know, you had some very very hectic and dangerous men. Nine wing was a transit wing, but you know blokes that were doing ten plus years and it was it was very dangerous, very dangerous, and a long Bay there was a circle, so to get anywhere you had to walk out from the wing into a circle. It'd be like gate up, chief and the chief of come where you're going. I'm gonna go to the pill shoot or whatever. The next minute, boom and blokes would jump in and out of yards. I just picked up on that. It's not something that I did. I just observed a lot, you know, and no matter what you were on show, everybody knew you were there. If you walked out in that circle, every yard could see you. So if you had bad blood, or you had drama, or someone you were going to get got It's as simple as that. For an eighteen year old going into DAH, I was like, Wow, where am I?

You know this is? This is pretty heavy?

You know this is? This is pretty heavy?

Did you know anyone in I knew a couple of people from the area, but a few people had heard of me, And that was almost a saving grace because I started to get introduced to other people that were.

Did you know anyone in I knew a couple of people from the area, but a few people had heard of me, And that was almost a saving grace because I started to get introduced to other people that were.

You know, somebody in that sort of element. I guess if you're finally going to find it very hard to find a friend in jail, you know, there's always a purpose or somebody wants something or need something, and there's a lot of politics in jail. You know, it really can become quite dangerous.

You know, somebody in that sort of element. I guess if you're finally going to find it very hard to find a friend in jail, you know, there's always a purpose or somebody wants something or need something, and there's a lot of politics in jail. You know, it really can become quite dangerous.

What are those some of those more dangerous moments that you've seen.

What are those some of those more dangerous moments that you've seen.

There's been stabbings, bashings, you know, this the whole thing of raping all that's all shit. I mean, it happens, It's happened, and you know it did happen in the system, there's no two ways around it.

There's been stabbings, bashings, you know, this the whole thing of raping all that's all shit. I mean, it happens, It's happened, and you know it did happen in the system, there's no two ways around it.

But I never seen any of that sort of stuff. But a lot of violence, heavy, heavy violence. Yeah.

But I never seen any of that sort of stuff. But a lot of violence, heavy, heavy violence. Yeah.

I mean you've seen stretchers come out of the yard and cross the circle. And as I said, Nine Wing in particular, a long way back then was extremely dangerous. It was a transit unit. So you know, if you had dramas with the boys and whatever, or there was a message and you were going to get got and bloke's got got.

I mean you've seen stretchers come out of the yard and cross the circle. And as I said, Nine Wing in particular, a long way back then was extremely dangerous. It was a transit unit. So you know, if you had dramas with the boys and whatever, or there was a message and you were going to get got and bloke's got got.

That was your first stint? How long?

That was your first stint? How long?

Nine months?

Nine months?

And then you get out? Yeah what do you do?

And then you get out? Yeah what do you do?

Go back to crime?

Go back to crime?

What else is there?

What else is there?

Yeah? Now, I look, I just got out and basically started back off where I left off, back out doing bizo again, running around, you know, making earns and doing quite well for myself. And you know, you sort of get yourself in with another crew and it's a step up crew from where you were last time. So you know, I started moving around a lot more in different circles.

Yeah? Now, I look, I just got out and basically started back off where I left off, back out doing bizo again, running around, you know, making earns and doing quite well for myself. And you know, you sort of get yourself in with another crew and it's a step up crew from where you were last time. So you know, I started moving around a lot more in different circles.

I always was quite handy with making money, you know, I was always around people that utilized drugs.

I always was quite handy with making money, you know, I was always around people that utilized drugs.

You know, back then, the rave scene had just kicked off, so ecstasy was just starting to become very very popular, and you know the little brown Calais splits and baby splits and all these little white ghosts and the best, the best that they ever was, let's not fuck around. They were the cleanest, best, most expensive little ping as he ever had. They were proper ecstasy. And you know, the rave scene was huge. There was trips, it was so that's where it came to. I started moving in that circle, you know. So I spent a lot of time, you know, dealing and selling drugs back then, which you obviously got caught for. Again, you know, the violence continued. I had a lot a lot more of grievous bodily harm charges, a lot more assault charges in general, you know, in and out of jail. I had then gone up to cessnot Grafton, back to the Bay silver Water, and you know it was like a revolving door for years to come after that.

You know, back then, the rave scene had just kicked off, so ecstasy was just starting to become very very popular, and you know the little brown Calais splits and baby splits and all these little white ghosts and the best, the best that they ever was, let's not fuck around. They were the cleanest, best, most expensive little ping as he ever had. They were proper ecstasy. And you know, the rave scene was huge. There was trips, it was so that's where it came to. I started moving in that circle, you know. So I spent a lot of time, you know, dealing and selling drugs back then, which you obviously got caught for. Again, you know, the violence continued. I had a lot a lot more of grievous bodily harm charges, a lot more assault charges in general, you know, in and out of jail. I had then gone up to cessnot Grafton, back to the Bay silver Water, and you know it was like a revolving door for years to come after that.

Out of all of the jails, you've been in. Is there one that you just go that was the worst?

Out of all of the jails, you've been in. Is there one that you just go that was the worst?

I think they were all bad in their own right. But I mean, look, if you can say that you didn't mind I didn't mind Long Bay, I suppose because you know, even the last sentence I got in two thousand and nine, you know, I went straight to Long Bay from up here and that didn't bother me, you.

I think they were all bad in their own right. But I mean, look, if you can say that you didn't mind I didn't mind Long Bay, I suppose because you know, even the last sentence I got in two thousand and nine, you know, I went straight to Long Bay from up here and that didn't bother me, you.

Know what I mean.

Know what I mean.

I knew where I was, I knew the familiarity of of how the daily routine was. I never ever liked Grafton.

I knew where I was, I knew the familiarity of of how the daily routine was. I never ever liked Grafton.

What is it about that place?

What is it about that place?

Fucked?

Fucked?

Man?

Man?

It?

It?

Look, you know the history of the place is one, I guess, and two it's just.

Look, you know the history of the place is one, I guess, and two it's just.

Just a real dark, terrible place. It's now.

Just a real dark, terrible place. It's now.

It's not like the other jails where you have open air, I guess, a lot of fences. You literally you're just locked on concrete.

It's not like the other jails where you have open air, I guess, a lot of fences. You literally you're just locked on concrete.

In Grafton Jails, five Wing in June last year, and the prisoner on the floor has reported an assault, only to be left to crawl to another cell.

In Grafton Jails, five Wing in June last year, and the prisoner on the floor has reported an assault, only to be left to crawl to another cell.

It's small compact and everybody's basically on top of each other, and there's a lot going on in a small space.

It's small compact and everybody's basically on top of each other, and there's a lot going on in a small space.

You've told me about and I've heard you talk about it with Bernie and with John about the old school crim code and how it's I guess different now. You mentioned earlier that you've never ever made a written statement.

You've told me about and I've heard you talk about it with Bernie and with John about the old school crim code and how it's I guess different now. You mentioned earlier that you've never ever made a written statement.

Just don't do it. It's something that you just don't do. If you get caught, you put your hand up. And that's as simple as art. And you never ever talk out of school. You don't give anyone up.

Just don't do it. It's something that you just don't do. If you get caught, you put your hand up. And that's as simple as art. And you never ever talk out of school. You don't give anyone up.

You know, like there's not another man or woman or anybody that's ever done a day's jail over me. Ever made My last sentence, you know, was me arrested. And that's how it was simple as that, you know, and that was a ten year sentence I was looking at. So I did the crime, I did the time. That's all it needs to be said. I can't speak for today. My life is very different today, but from what I see, the caliber and I'm not bagging anyone out there that's listening to this, but it's very different to what I was raised.

You know, like there's not another man or woman or anybody that's ever done a day's jail over me. Ever made My last sentence, you know, was me arrested. And that's how it was simple as that, you know, and that was a ten year sentence I was looking at. So I did the crime, I did the time. That's all it needs to be said. I can't speak for today. My life is very different today, but from what I see, the caliber and I'm not bagging anyone out there that's listening to this, but it's very different to what I was raised.

You know.

You know.

It's morals and old school ways in reference to what you do and don't do. Respect to huge and morals is big as well. I don't think there's so much of it today.

It's morals and old school ways in reference to what you do and don't do. Respect to huge and morals is big as well. I don't think there's so much of it today.

We are ever scared. Look, I was.

We are ever scared. Look, I was.

Definitely scared, especially the first time going in. You bump into a lot of people you know over the periods of time are going but you know, you do things with people outside. People know who you are, You know who's a good bloke. They know you're a good bloke. There's no there's no reason to have any bad blood. So you know, you help each other out and there you know what I mean. It might be a buy up, it might be something so simple as shampoo. It could be fucking helping somebody out get a phone call out of there. Whatever it is, you try and just do the best you can. If you're a shit can't, then you're going to get treated like a shit can't. It's as simple as that. There's no there's not. Like I said, you can't hide. And everybody is vulnerable in the system. And I've said this before. You know, it doesn't matter.

Definitely scared, especially the first time going in. You bump into a lot of people you know over the periods of time are going but you know, you do things with people outside. People know who you are, You know who's a good bloke. They know you're a good bloke. There's no there's no reason to have any bad blood. So you know, you help each other out and there you know what I mean. It might be a buy up, it might be something so simple as shampoo. It could be fucking helping somebody out get a phone call out of there. Whatever it is, you try and just do the best you can. If you're a shit can't, then you're going to get treated like a shit can't. It's as simple as that. There's no there's not. Like I said, you can't hide. And everybody is vulnerable in the system. And I've said this before. You know, it doesn't matter.

Who you are.

Who you are.

If someone don't want to, someone has a beef with you, or there's a serious problem, it's got to be confronted and it'll be dealt with.

If someone don't want to, someone has a beef with you, or there's a serious problem, it's got to be confronted and it'll be dealt with.

You're in and out of jail over a long stretch of time. At some point there you get involved with a motorcycle gang. I did, Yeah, I did.

You're in and out of jail over a long stretch of time. At some point there you get involved with a motorcycle gang. I did, Yeah, I did.

And look, just to set the record straight on that too for me. And I know this will leave you know, people with an open minor sort of thing, But for me, I was that young bloke that was chasing that brotherhood.

And look, just to set the record straight on that too for me. And I know this will leave you know, people with an open minor sort of thing, But for me, I was that young bloke that was chasing that brotherhood.

I needed a family.

I needed a family.

I wanted to feel I belong and back then I had, I guess, proven myself without big note in myself with it. You know, I'd proven myself I was capable, willing, and able, and that I was a stand up blot. And you know, I was being accepted at a very young age. Like I said, there was a particular club that not wanted to nom me up at seventeen, but I wasn't going to be nominal up at seventeen.

I wanted to feel I belong and back then I had, I guess, proven myself without big note in myself with it. You know, I'd proven myself I was capable, willing, and able, and that I was a stand up blot. And you know, I was being accepted at a very young age. Like I said, there was a particular club that not wanted to nom me up at seventeen, but I wasn't going to be nominal up at seventeen.

So, you know, early twenties, I'm hanging out, you know, with.

So, you know, early twenties, I'm hanging out, you know, with.

Another outfit, and I don't regret a minute of it, you know, would I would? I personally want to be in a club today, I know, with the way the law is and the bullshit and the consortment and all that. And look, I can't escape from you know, my charges in the past. I've been done with, you know, firearm, commercial importation, robberies like I can't escape that. So you know, for me, to sit down with you as a brother that you know, I just want to go and have a beer with and you've got some some other charge where fucked, you know, so it makes it very very difficult, I think these days. Back then it was amazing. You know, you're riding a bike, you're in with a pack of brothers, you're tight, you're hanging out, you're helping each other, you're party and you're lifting each other up.

Another outfit, and I don't regret a minute of it, you know, would I would? I personally want to be in a club today, I know, with the way the law is and the bullshit and the consortment and all that. And look, I can't escape from you know, my charges in the past. I've been done with, you know, firearm, commercial importation, robberies like I can't escape that. So you know, for me, to sit down with you as a brother that you know, I just want to go and have a beer with and you've got some some other charge where fucked, you know, so it makes it very very difficult, I think these days. Back then it was amazing. You know, you're riding a bike, you're in with a pack of brothers, you're tight, you're hanging out, you're helping each other, you're party and you're lifting each other up.

Made every time. It's a good time.

Made every time. It's a good time.

You know, you eat together, you root together, you drink together. You just it was just back then when I was young, that was the way it was, and it was great.

You know, you eat together, you root together, you drink together. You just it was just back then when I was young, that was the way it was, and it was great.

It was good time.

It was good time.

You've got no regrets about that.

You've got no regrets about that.

And look, I I you know.

And look, I I you know.

I'm grateful, I guess because I still have contact with some people whom, you know, older blokes that aren't particularly in the club anymore, but they're retired, but I'm still able to chat with them and stuff like that, and it's good.

I'm grateful, I guess because I still have contact with some people whom, you know, older blokes that aren't particularly in the club anymore, but they're retired, but I'm still able to chat with them and stuff like that, and it's good.

You know, there's a respect there.

You know, there's a respect there.

And you know, I'm sure there's people out there that don't want to talk to me, and that's not because I've done anything bad.

And you know, I'm sure there's people out there that don't want to talk to me, and that's not because I've done anything bad.

It's just because I'm not wearing that patch, you know. And I get that. You know, it doesn't mean to say that I'm a shit.

It's just because I'm not wearing that patch, you know. And I get that. You know, it doesn't mean to say that I'm a shit.

Can't just means I chose a different path in the end to better myself.

Can't just means I chose a different path in the end to better myself.

You might not want to answer this, but I'll ask it anyway. How do you get out?

You might not want to answer this, but I'll ask it anyway. How do you get out?

I won't be answering that.

I won't be answering that.

Yeah, look, yeah, I'm not going to get into that. I'm not going to get into The one thing with me is I don't mind talking about myself, but when it comes to opening up books about club business and stuff like that, I never have in any interview and I never will. It's not for me to sit here and talk about, you know, how you get in and out of a club. I'm no longer in a club. Haven't been in a club for thirteen years, twelve thirteen years. Definitely miss a lot of the brothers, Definitely missed the good times. But I'm a happier man today.

Yeah, look, yeah, I'm not going to get into that. I'm not going to get into The one thing with me is I don't mind talking about myself, but when it comes to opening up books about club business and stuff like that, I never have in any interview and I never will. It's not for me to sit here and talk about, you know, how you get in and out of a club. I'm no longer in a club. Haven't been in a club for thirteen years, twelve thirteen years. Definitely miss a lot of the brothers, Definitely missed the good times. But I'm a happier man today.

Did you ever almost die in your criminal life?

Did you ever almost die in your criminal life?

Absolutely?

Absolutely?

I never ever thought I'd make it to twenty one. I man, I'd come close so many times, you know, to the point even one that sticks in my mind, like you know, there's been stab wings all from my legs and you know, everywhere else, and like I said, slashed across the back of my neck and my head. But a particular moment that I was in a bar with a particular person. I won't go in detail because I don't want to put this person in a situation, but we were in a bar together and this this fi I'll call him just a fucking weekcunt, because he walked in straight out clocked, bang clink clank, and I knew and back then I used to carry a forty five, so the hammer's just gone, bang clink. I knew exactly what was in his hand. I've just heard that that steel, you know. And it turns around and he's a gunpointed in a public bar, and my head telling me you're fucking dead, You're dad.

I never ever thought I'd make it to twenty one. I man, I'd come close so many times, you know, to the point even one that sticks in my mind, like you know, there's been stab wings all from my legs and you know, everywhere else, and like I said, slashed across the back of my neck and my head. But a particular moment that I was in a bar with a particular person. I won't go in detail because I don't want to put this person in a situation, but we were in a bar together and this this fi I'll call him just a fucking weekcunt, because he walked in straight out clocked, bang clink clank, and I knew and back then I used to carry a forty five, so the hammer's just gone, bang clink. I knew exactly what was in his hand. I've just heard that that steel, you know. And it turns around and he's a gunpointed in a public bar, and my head telling me you're fucking dead, You're dad.

And I had a drink and I remember.

And I had a drink and I remember.

Staring him in the eyes and I thought to myself, I'm gonna go, and this is how I'm gonna go. And I couldn't take my eyes off him, and I lifted up my drink and I started sipping my drink and I looked at him and I said, either you fucking pull that trigger or get the fuck out of my face before I take that gun and shoot you. And I don't know what come over that person, but he turned around and ran like a weak dog. Now, if I'm gonna pull a gun on you, I'm gonna fucking shoot you. You don't pull a gun on somebody in a public place and not pull the trigger.

Staring him in the eyes and I thought to myself, I'm gonna go, and this is how I'm gonna go. And I couldn't take my eyes off him, and I lifted up my drink and I started sipping my drink and I looked at him and I said, either you fucking pull that trigger or get the fuck out of my face before I take that gun and shoot you. And I don't know what come over that person, but he turned around and ran like a weak dog. Now, if I'm gonna pull a gun on you, I'm gonna fucking shoot you. You don't pull a gun on somebody in a public place and not pull the trigger.

How big of a dickhead do you look?

How big of a dickhead do you look?

What?

What?

But at that moment, I truly felt that it could have been my time. And I've always said it, I'd rather a gun pulled on me than a knife, you know, Like you get a person in a frantic moment who's got a knife, you don't know what they're going to do, all looking in the eyes as the gun pulled. And I guarantee you, unless you're willing to do life over me, you're not gonna pull that fucking trigger. You know these guys out there that will. I'm not saying that won't happen. There's many blokes out there that will do it, you know. But you're not gonna know what's coming, you know what I mean. The bloke really wants to come up and start, Oh, I fucking shoot you in a public place.

But at that moment, I truly felt that it could have been my time. And I've always said it, I'd rather a gun pulled on me than a knife, you know, Like you get a person in a frantic moment who's got a knife, you don't know what they're going to do, all looking in the eyes as the gun pulled. And I guarantee you, unless you're willing to do life over me, you're not gonna pull that fucking trigger. You know these guys out there that will. I'm not saying that won't happen. There's many blokes out there that will do it, you know. But you're not gonna know what's coming, you know what I mean. The bloke really wants to come up and start, Oh, I fucking shoot you in a public place.

Yeah, you're just a goose outside of the criminal life. You almost died eighty months.

Yeah, you're just a goose outside of the criminal life. You almost died eighty months.

Ago work yeah, fuck, that was tough.

Ago work yeah, fuck, that was tough.

Tell me what happened.

Tell me what happened.

So I sis, as you.

So I sis, as you.

Clean you out of jail, you lived, lad.

Clean you out of jail, you lived, lad.

Well, let's go back to what I did before that, like i'd come out of jail. Take it right back.

Well, let's go back to what I did before that, like i'd come out of jail. Take it right back.

Actually, I wanted to find out why you went to jail first.

Actually, I wanted to find out why you went to jail first.

So I got done for commercial importation and I copped. I put my hand up and got a six year sentence. How much was it? What was it? Three kilos? Three kilos of coke? So I was, I was gone. It was a controlled delivery. I I knew I was off. I'd come. I had been somewhere and I something went wrong with a consignment company. And I had a phone at that stage, and I'll speak about this is public knowledge, but I had a phone, and I've got a phone call from the consignment company telling me that the plans that they had made to deliver the shipping container to a particular spot had to change because the Federal police had pulled back the shipping container. And I was just like, well, I gotta go, I gotta do this, so why don't you pull out?

So I got done for commercial importation and I copped. I put my hand up and got a six year sentence. How much was it? What was it? Three kilos? Three kilos of coke? So I was, I was gone. It was a controlled delivery. I I knew I was off. I'd come. I had been somewhere and I something went wrong with a consignment company. And I had a phone at that stage, and I'll speak about this is public knowledge, but I had a phone, and I've got a phone call from the consignment company telling me that the plans that they had made to deliver the shipping container to a particular spot had to change because the Federal police had pulled back the shipping container. And I was just like, well, I gotta go, I gotta do this, so why don't you pull out?

At that stage, I'm going.

At that stage, I'm going.

No, no, no, no, no nah. And that's all I'll say is that criminal code. Well, it's just I just there was no pulling out. I was committed.

No, no, no, no, no nah. And that's all I'll say is that criminal code. Well, it's just I just there was no pulling out. I was committed.

That's it.

That's it.

I had to go through with it and close the book.

I had to go through with it and close the book.

And that's what I did.

And that's what I did.

You know.

You know.

I did my time for my crime, that's all I'll say. And yeah, I went to this particular shipping container and I followed through. So unfortunately, my in laws got raided, my house got raided. Was massive up here, it was huge. They had the Feds all over everything. And I flew from here down to Sydney and was driven out to a particular location by someone that didn't even know what they were doing other than giving me a lift. And I got this person to do a couple of laps around this particular industrial and I there was no fucking trees, there was nothing. It was like May. It was it was the fourth fourth of May, and so it was getting cold, you know, out west of Sydney, and mate, it was just fucking no one there. There was nothing there, and I thought I might have half a chancey Like I thought. I literally thought that if I could get into the shipping container and nowhere, what I had to get was there and get it out.

I did my time for my crime, that's all I'll say. And yeah, I went to this particular shipping container and I followed through. So unfortunately, my in laws got raided, my house got raided. Was massive up here, it was huge. They had the Feds all over everything. And I flew from here down to Sydney and was driven out to a particular location by someone that didn't even know what they were doing other than giving me a lift. And I got this person to do a couple of laps around this particular industrial and I there was no fucking trees, there was nothing. It was like May. It was it was the fourth fourth of May, and so it was getting cold, you know, out west of Sydney, and mate, it was just fucking no one there. There was nothing there, and I thought I might have half a chancey Like I thought. I literally thought that if I could get into the shipping container and nowhere, what I had to get was there and get it out.

I was sweet.

I was sweet.

I was off and I deal with the rest later. That was how I was thinking initially. I wasn't thinking that goal on there because I thought I'm fucked. They know about I'm just going to turn up and I'm gone. But I was committed to it, and that's all there was to it. I gets out and I'm going, this is this is all right. I'm gonna be sweet next to the fucking hell clink clink. Shipping containers come off and I've turned it around and what was dim headlights on the car parked down a bit from where I asked this particular person could just take me out.

I was off and I deal with the rest later. That was how I was thinking initially. I wasn't thinking that goal on there because I thought I'm fucked. They know about I'm just going to turn up and I'm gone. But I was committed to it, and that's all there was to it. I gets out and I'm going, this is this is all right. I'm gonna be sweet next to the fucking hell clink clink. Shipping containers come off and I've turned it around and what was dim headlights on the car parked down a bit from where I asked this particular person could just take me out.

There came about.

There came about.

Fucking thirty other fucking headlights and I'm telling you, these counts are jumping out a fucking tree. It didn't exist. Next minute, I'm hog tired and fucking I've got a GP in your head and a machine gun gun. It's a real fucking bad day for you, made a real bad day for you. You move your fuck and I'm going, oh, you were gay.

Fucking thirty other fucking headlights and I'm telling you, these counts are jumping out a fucking tree. It didn't exist. Next minute, I'm hog tired and fucking I've got a GP in your head and a machine gun gun. It's a real fucking bad day for you, made a real bad day for you. You move your fuck and I'm going, oh, you were gay.

I'm here to talk today to talk about a joint investigation conducted by the Australian Federal Police and the Australian Border Force which has resulted in the seizure of cocaine. The investigation commenced last month after Border Force officers discovered the cocaine hidden inside a shipping container which arrived into the port of Sydney.

I'm here to talk today to talk about a joint investigation conducted by the Australian Federal Police and the Australian Border Force which has resulted in the seizure of cocaine. The investigation commenced last month after Border Force officers discovered the cocaine hidden inside a shipping container which arrived into the port of Sydney.

Poor Blake got ripped out of the car that was with me. He knew nothing yet, you know. He was charged as not for the importation, but he was charged as an accessory. And he later went home obviously because it was mine blue. It wasn't he wasn't his blue. And there I remember him standing on my face in his gown. It's a real bad day, isn't it. Brent yas what's your name?

Poor Blake got ripped out of the car that was with me. He knew nothing yet, you know. He was charged as not for the importation, but he was charged as an accessory. And he later went home obviously because it was mine blue. It wasn't he wasn't his blue. And there I remember him standing on my face in his gown. It's a real bad day, isn't it. Brent yas what's your name?

Said?

Said?

You just fucking said it, you idiot.

You just fucking said it, you idiot.

Next minute he.

Next minute he.

Says, driven that fucking GP into the side of your cheek and it was on a gravel road. Sit on your fucking dog. He goes, what I said, you fucking dog. And he's got me a lexit in my hands, a hog time my legs if I can say, they got my arm and they're pushing it back and no one's got me face into the gravel. Yeah, Like d comes over and he goes, oh, let's see he's right, he's right, because these are all ballied up. You know, like these were full on fucking gorillas, and the plane clothes detective the FED comes over and he goes, yeah, he's right, sit him up. He's hall I Brent bomb sergeant fucking wank whenk and I said, oh here, he goes, can you state your name?

Says, driven that fucking GP into the side of your cheek and it was on a gravel road. Sit on your fucking dog. He goes, what I said, you fucking dog. And he's got me a lexit in my hands, a hog time my legs if I can say, they got my arm and they're pushing it back and no one's got me face into the gravel. Yeah, Like d comes over and he goes, oh, let's see he's right, he's right, because these are all ballied up. You know, like these were full on fucking gorillas, and the plane clothes detective the FED comes over and he goes, yeah, he's right, sit him up. He's hall I Brent bomb sergeant fucking wank whenk and I said, oh here, he goes, can you state your name?

I said no.

I said no.

He goes, well, you need I said, don't need to state ship? I said, you know who I fucking am you here. You're arresting me. I said, you've done your homework. So this is fucking girl.

He goes, well, you need I said, don't need to state ship? I said, you know who I fucking am you here. You're arresting me. I said, you've done your homework. So this is fucking girl.

It's cold.

It's cold.

So we're going to take you back to the Federal Police Police station where we'll interview you.

So we're going to take you back to the Federal Police Police station where we'll interview you.

I saida fucking not.

I saida fucking not.

He goes, so you're I said, mate, you've got me.

He goes, so you're I said, mate, you've got me.

I'm pinched.

I'm pinched.

It's a controlled delivery. What do you want me to say? I'm guilty whatever it is. From here on in, we'll wait for the brief. I'll go and sit and custody because it was bar refused. It was way too much to get fucking bail anyway. He's laughing at me, goes real smart. Here he goes, mate, yeah, you're looking at twenty years. And I started thinking to myself, Oh fuck, what's going on here? What are these counts know, and I'm thinking to myself, did I know? I didn't know?

It's a controlled delivery. What do you want me to say? I'm guilty whatever it is. From here on in, we'll wait for the brief. I'll go and sit and custody because it was bar refused. It was way too much to get fucking bail anyway. He's laughing at me, goes real smart. Here he goes, mate, yeah, you're looking at twenty years. And I started thinking to myself, Oh fuck, what's going on here? What are these counts know, and I'm thinking to myself, did I know? I didn't know?

I'm sweet, Nah, I'm right.

I'm sweet, Nah, I'm right.

I sort of was trac him back in about a minute or two of my last fucking ten years of my life, and I realized I'm all right, and I.

I sort of was trac him back in about a minute or two of my last fucking ten years of my life, and I realized I'm all right, and I.

Just said, no, man, I don't give a fuck, you know.

Just said, no, man, I don't give a fuck, you know.

He said, oh, we're going to take you back to my Crowfield's police station and you know you'll be kept there in custody.

He said, oh, we're going to take you back to my Crowfield's police station and you know you'll be kept there in custody.

And I thought, well, go for it.

And I thought, well, go for it.

So I gets back there and they hear me over to the state police and then next thing they turn around and say, fucking.

So I gets back there and they hear me over to the state police and then next thing they turn around and say, fucking.

Have you had something to eat?

Have you had something to eat?

I said nah, And I was like here again, I'm on you. They're going to fucking try and button me up, right. They went from good Cot to bag Cut. I was fucking starving. I was pissed off. My wife at the time was pregnant, well, my partner she now she was four and a half five months pregnant with their middle child. Yeah, so you've already got one, and yeah, I have an old one for the next partner, who's twenty one, and daughter who was born Stan Petter's thirteen and Keishan he's ten and she was pregnant. So it all start once I'd sort of lost that facade in front of the Cobbs, and it started to sort of make me ponder a bit. You know, I'm thinking, fuck, I'm gone anyway, I want to call me solicitor. And he goes, yeah, mate, nowherries, we'll let you do that. And he goes, you're hungry, and I said yeah, yeah, So do you want Maca's mate?

I said nah, And I was like here again, I'm on you. They're going to fucking try and button me up, right. They went from good Cot to bag Cut. I was fucking starving. I was pissed off. My wife at the time was pregnant, well, my partner she now she was four and a half five months pregnant with their middle child. Yeah, so you've already got one, and yeah, I have an old one for the next partner, who's twenty one, and daughter who was born Stan Petter's thirteen and Keishan he's ten and she was pregnant. So it all start once I'd sort of lost that facade in front of the Cobbs, and it started to sort of make me ponder a bit. You know, I'm thinking, fuck, I'm gone anyway, I want to call me solicitor. And he goes, yeah, mate, nowherries, we'll let you do that. And he goes, you're hungry, and I said yeah, yeah, So do you want Maca's mate?

And I said, fuck, yeah, guys, what do you want?

And I said, fuck, yeah, guys, what do you want?

I said, Oh, I thought I won't be rude. I'd just get me whatever whatever he got chief and he goes, all right, mate, i'll get you you want a coke?

I said, Oh, I thought I won't be rude. I'd just get me whatever whatever he got chief and he goes, all right, mate, i'll get you you want a coke?

I said yeah, yeah.

I said yeah, yeah.

So I come back with a quarter pound and fucking chips and a cake and I'm loving it. So I think you're stupid cuts. So I'm sitting there eating it. Little fucking did I know? They were just trying to fucking over. So I gets back there and he's made me calm down. By this stage, I've eaten.

So I come back with a quarter pound and fucking chips and a cake and I'm loving it. So I think you're stupid cuts. So I'm sitting there eating it. Little fucking did I know? They were just trying to fucking over. So I gets back there and he's made me calm down. By this stage, I've eaten.

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

It's been about a big night, you know, and it was a long, long night to go.

It's been about a big night, you know, and it was a long, long night to go.

And he comes over and he goes, oh, that phone.

And he comes over and he goes, oh, that phone.

Call I said, yeah, yeah, chief. He goes, did you want to ring? Who do you want to ring? I said, look, I need to ring my solictener and he goes, watch a solicitor's name. I'll give him the name, and he comes for you. Guess yeah, no, luck their mate. Unfortunately, there's a conflict of interest.

Call I said, yeah, yeah, chief. He goes, did you want to ring? Who do you want to ring? I said, look, I need to ring my solictener and he goes, watch a solicitor's name. I'll give him the name, and he comes for you. Guess yeah, no, luck their mate. Unfortunately, there's a conflict of interest.

I said what.

I said what.

Yeah, and the federal police think that you know, you're solicitor might be involved. Fucking bullshit. So this was the beginning of the mind games, right. So one I couldn't get any legal representation, so they just fucked me over and hung me there for ages. Next thing, you know, I said, what about my wife? Oh yeah, and I said nah. And I didn't know this stage that her poor parents had just been raided. Our house had just been like it was simultaneous, and they just smashed everything.

Yeah, and the federal police think that you know, you're solicitor might be involved. Fucking bullshit. So this was the beginning of the mind games, right. So one I couldn't get any legal representation, so they just fucked me over and hung me there for ages. Next thing, you know, I said, what about my wife? Oh yeah, and I said nah. And I didn't know this stage that her poor parents had just been raided. Our house had just been like it was simultaneous, and they just smashed everything.

It was.

It was.

It was terrible for them, they like to this day. It was and something that you know, any of them needed to go through. And that's probably one of my main regrets, besides not seeing my son born. But yeah, so anyway, I managed to end up getting a call and I'll never forget my father in law.

It was terrible for them, they like to this day. It was and something that you know, any of them needed to go through. And that's probably one of my main regrets, besides not seeing my son born. But yeah, so anyway, I managed to end up getting a call and I'll never forget my father in law.

He answers the phone, and I says, can I speak to say no, no, fucking way to you.

He answers the phone, and I says, can I speak to say no, no, fucking way to you.

Fucking I went, oh shit, And he's a legend, like he's just a fucking top man. I love him to death, you know. And just to set the record straight to my dad and I are.

Fucking I went, oh shit, And he's a legend, like he's just a fucking top man. I love him to death, you know. And just to set the record straight to my dad and I are.

Very good today and I love him and yet so I just wanted to.

Very good today and I love him and yet so I just wanted to.

Clear that up. We we'll talk about that. Yeah, But.

Clear that up. We we'll talk about that. Yeah, But.

And you know, it was very full on.

And you know, it was very full on.

So I knew that it was real bad, real quick now because I'd upset my father in law.

So I knew that it was real bad, real quick now because I'd upset my father in law.

My partner was pregnant.

My partner was pregnant.

They're talking ten to twenty and I'm sitting here eating a fucking quarter pounds agoing. I've got no legal representation. I'm fucked. And yeah, from there on in obviously it was bar refused and off the court the next morning and off to seal Water.

They're talking ten to twenty and I'm sitting here eating a fucking quarter pounds agoing. I've got no legal representation. I'm fucked. And yeah, from there on in obviously it was bar refused and off the court the next morning and off to seal Water.

And it's where I sat in remand.

And it's where I sat in remand.

And the total stint you did for six years in total, what was the payday worth?

And the total stint you did for six years in total, what was the payday worth?

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

I was a bit a bit.

I was a bit a bit.

Yeah, that was a bit.

Yeah, that was a bit.

So any ideas of how the coppers knew that it was going down.

So any ideas of how the coppers knew that it was going down.

Yeah, So what I later found out in the police brief was they had X ray.

Yeah, So what I later found out in the police brief was they had X ray.

So I was important marble and granite.

So I was important marble and granite.

I had a business and I was importing statues gravestones, and yeah, legit fucking business.

I had a business and I was importing statues gravestones, and yeah, legit fucking business.

That was a legit business. It wasn't.

That was a legit business. It wasn't.

But within that and that's all I'll say. How within that was whatever that came. And yeah, there was an inconsistency in the X ray that showed that this particular piece of headstone or what have you had inconsistency lines. So that sort of prompted them to obviously be suspicious and pull the container back and drill into it and realized what it was. And yeah, so what happened? Fucked, it's.

But within that and that's all I'll say. How within that was whatever that came. And yeah, there was an inconsistency in the X ray that showed that this particular piece of headstone or what have you had inconsistency lines. So that sort of prompted them to obviously be suspicious and pull the container back and drill into it and realized what it was. And yeah, so what happened? Fucked, it's.

What?

What?

So Okay, I'll tell you a fuck a funny story, right, yeah, please, So going back to you know, the whole part of getting arrested, it was it was so bizarre because, like I say, I knew that I was off, and it wasn't from anything that I'd done wrong.

So Okay, I'll tell you a fuck a funny story, right, yeah, please, So going back to you know, the whole part of getting arrested, it was it was so bizarre because, like I say, I knew that I was off, and it wasn't from anything that I'd done wrong.

It was just how it was. It arrived in a way that it wasn't mental arrive and I put a red light up.

It was just how it was. It arrived in a way that it wasn't mental arrive and I put a red light up.

That I couldn't escape from if I I mean, I was already been what I've been off for four days. They had me under surveillance for four days prior.

That I couldn't escape from if I I mean, I was already been what I've been off for four days. They had me under surveillance for four days prior.

To the arrest.

To the arrest.

You were in Queensland at the time.

You were in Queensland at the time.

Yeah, So they had just picked me up four days so the shipping container got pulled back by the consignment company contacted me and then the federal police had pulled that back long and short of it all in that time frame they'd worked out obviously who I was. However they did it and they put a link in for me. It's the next minute, I've got feds up here watching me. I knew that there had to be something like that going real south, real quick on. That was on the Friday, I think by the Sunday, because I was flying down on the Monday and I remember being a call and got an airport and I'm looking around and I'm fucking thinking, what's these cocksuckers looking at? And the fucking airport police will walking past me, you know, and front of little sly looks over their shoulders. The fucking undercovers were over there. There was federal police, and I thought, fuck, you can't. It's I'm gonna go and get some red rooster. I'm going to fucking kick back. And I in the beginning, because I had a couple of hours to wait, you know, the plane was delayed, but I just knew that it was all happening. So I knew that they didn't know. I knew that I was off, but I knew I was off. So every time I looked at these cocksuckers, I'm figuring my head, fuck you, fuck you. Yeah, what I know you are watching me. I gets to Sydney and you never see a Federal police vehicle driving up the M five heading away from the Western suburbs like it was fucking weird, you know, like I look like a highway patrol, but it was Federal police. I've come from the airport and not one but two and at that stage I've gone, fuck, I'm just I'm gone. It was just it just hit me like a ton of bricks. So, you know, on the way to the controlled delivery, and that's what I was saying before. It was that that feeling of they're knotty, yeah, thinking that there's there's no one around a triple checked. You know, I've got a window here that I'm gonna have a crack and I'm gonna get in and I'm gonna get out. Yeah, well no, it didn't happen like that, did it.

Yeah, So they had just picked me up four days so the shipping container got pulled back by the consignment company contacted me and then the federal police had pulled that back long and short of it all in that time frame they'd worked out obviously who I was. However they did it and they put a link in for me. It's the next minute, I've got feds up here watching me. I knew that there had to be something like that going real south, real quick on. That was on the Friday, I think by the Sunday, because I was flying down on the Monday and I remember being a call and got an airport and I'm looking around and I'm fucking thinking, what's these cocksuckers looking at? And the fucking airport police will walking past me, you know, and front of little sly looks over their shoulders. The fucking undercovers were over there. There was federal police, and I thought, fuck, you can't. It's I'm gonna go and get some red rooster. I'm going to fucking kick back. And I in the beginning, because I had a couple of hours to wait, you know, the plane was delayed, but I just knew that it was all happening. So I knew that they didn't know. I knew that I was off, but I knew I was off. So every time I looked at these cocksuckers, I'm figuring my head, fuck you, fuck you. Yeah, what I know you are watching me. I gets to Sydney and you never see a Federal police vehicle driving up the M five heading away from the Western suburbs like it was fucking weird, you know, like I look like a highway patrol, but it was Federal police. I've come from the airport and not one but two and at that stage I've gone, fuck, I'm just I'm gone. It was just it just hit me like a ton of bricks. So, you know, on the way to the controlled delivery, and that's what I was saying before. It was that that feeling of they're knotty, yeah, thinking that there's there's no one around a triple checked. You know, I've got a window here that I'm gonna have a crack and I'm gonna get in and I'm gonna get out. Yeah, well no, it didn't happen like that, did it.

So get done you're going to uh back into jail. Yep, back in the Long Bay.

So get done you're going to uh back into jail. Yep, back in the Long Bay.

Yeah, back to Long Bay.

Yeah, back to Long Bay.

I went Long Bay's silver Water Grafton Glenning has got tipped from there for assaultant officer back into there. Spent the best part of twelve months in segro M. The first the first, you know, eight eight months was not good. My partner had given birth to our son. I was in segro I wasn't given you know, fuck all communication. I was very angry and rebellious. It just doesn't work the system. You can rebel as much as you want, but it just falls on deaf is and they're very clever with it these days to make sure that if an inmate's going to come and carry on and you know, they accommodate you to a certain point and that's it. You can bang your head against the wall and that's just as far as you're going to get.

I went Long Bay's silver Water Grafton Glenning has got tipped from there for assaultant officer back into there. Spent the best part of twelve months in segro M. The first the first, you know, eight eight months was not good. My partner had given birth to our son. I was in segro I wasn't given you know, fuck all communication. I was very angry and rebellious. It just doesn't work the system. You can rebel as much as you want, but it just falls on deaf is and they're very clever with it these days to make sure that if an inmate's going to come and carry on and you know, they accommodate you to a certain point and that's it. You can bang your head against the wall and that's just as far as you're going to get.

So, you know, it does.

So, you know, it does.

It becomes quite quite stressful, especially when you know that like being in segre there was times there where there were short screws is out in the main part of the jails, so they strip the segro screws and you don't get out. You don't get your phone call, you don't get shit, and that was the first place that suffered.

It becomes quite quite stressful, especially when you know that like being in segre there was times there where there were short screws is out in the main part of the jails, so they strip the segro screws and you don't get out. You don't get your phone call, you don't get shit, and that was the first place that suffered.

So why do you going to SEGRO.

So why do you going to SEGRO.

You can go into SEGRA because you're unmanageable.

You can go into SEGRA because you're unmanageable.

You can go into SEGRA because you've committed further crimes, you've been caught with contraband you're a gang member.

You can go into SEGRA because you've committed further crimes, you've been caught with contraband you're a gang member.

You know.

You know.

Then there's you know, obviously protection and strict protection that are like that as well that are on the other side. It does vary, you know, but you just basically come under unmanageable.

Then there's you know, obviously protection and strict protection that are like that as well that are on the other side. It does vary, you know, but you just basically come under unmanageable.

So SEGRO segregation. What does a day look like in segregation?

So SEGRO segregation. What does a day look like in segregation?

Fucking four walls, man, and you get a little bit of a fucking yard off the back of your so you know, you're in your SEGRO cells, you don't see anybody, you don't yell out to each other, and you get let out into the backyard. Your yard is just a small cage, you know, it'd be like three by four max.

Fucking four walls, man, and you get a little bit of a fucking yard off the back of your so you know, you're in your SEGRO cells, you don't see anybody, you don't yell out to each other, and you get let out into the backyard. Your yard is just a small cage, you know, it'd be like three by four max.

And that's it.

And that's it.

You sit out there, and how often are you allowed to sit out there?

You sit out there, and how often are you allowed to sit out there?

Well, randomly, that's what I mean.

Well, randomly, that's what I mean.

There was no you know, there's supposed to be a routine, but there's no routine in there. They just choose as they see fit.

There was no you know, there's supposed to be a routine, but there's no routine in there. They just choose as they see fit.

Books.

Books.

Yeah, yeah, you can get books if you if you know lucky enough. A lot of blokes that have read either Bible or Crime, you know, which helped a lot of people. And I think that you know, that was really the only sort of thing you could do in there that you didn't have access to, you know, your magazines, and it's just you're a cutoff, cut off. It's a jarl within a jail.

Yeah, yeah, you can get books if you if you know lucky enough. A lot of blokes that have read either Bible or Crime, you know, which helped a lot of people. And I think that you know, that was really the only sort of thing you could do in there that you didn't have access to, you know, your magazines, and it's just you're a cutoff, cut off. It's a jarl within a jail.

And how long can you stay in Sagro for as long as they want?

And how long can you stay in Sagro for as long as they want?

There's blokes that have unfortunately been in there for years.

There's blokes that have unfortunately been in there for years.

It's got a fuck with mental.

It's got a fuck with mental.

Health absolutely, And to be honest with the two blokes took their life whilst I was in Segro. I didn't know them personally, and I think at that point it was a bit of a smack in the mouth for me because I I could well and truly been that person, especially living with suicidality. I live with type two bipola. There's a lot of negative in my life now. I was looking at big years. So my partner was out on her own with a child already my daughter and you're about to raise the sun without me. There was a lot to just fucking just not want to keep fighting for but there wasn't do you know what I mean, If that makes sense, I shouldn't say it like that because I think at that stage, you think, either I'm going to get through this, I'm just going to walk out from this now, and the only way out is to take your life. It's not the answer, and I'm so grateful that I didn't make that option. Unfortunately, not everybody finds its strength to get through. And you know, there's a couple of blokes that did take their life, and for me, that just smacked me in the mouth. A good shake up, you know, a good reality check of what did I want in my life? Is this where I want to end up dying in jail? Is this what I want from my life to, you know, continually live within this, this system and the revolving doors. I know I had years of parole when I did get out, and I still had to finish.

Health absolutely, And to be honest with the two blokes took their life whilst I was in Segro. I didn't know them personally, and I think at that point it was a bit of a smack in the mouth for me because I I could well and truly been that person, especially living with suicidality. I live with type two bipola. There's a lot of negative in my life now. I was looking at big years. So my partner was out on her own with a child already my daughter and you're about to raise the sun without me. There was a lot to just fucking just not want to keep fighting for but there wasn't do you know what I mean, If that makes sense, I shouldn't say it like that because I think at that stage, you think, either I'm going to get through this, I'm just going to walk out from this now, and the only way out is to take your life. It's not the answer, and I'm so grateful that I didn't make that option. Unfortunately, not everybody finds its strength to get through. And you know, there's a couple of blokes that did take their life, and for me, that just smacked me in the mouth. A good shake up, you know, a good reality check of what did I want in my life? Is this where I want to end up dying in jail? Is this what I want from my life to, you know, continually live within this, this system and the revolving doors. I know I had years of parole when I did get out, and I still had to finish.

And in New South Wales, you know, you go back, you do your full time.

And in New South Wales, you know, you go back, you do your full time.

It's not like Queensland when you go back for a month, so you know, you fuck up, you don't get any second chances. I wanted that opportunity to better myself, so at that stage, I realized I needed to just fucking suck it up. Toe the line, kick along with my sentence, shut my mouth, and do my time and get the fuck.

It's not like Queensland when you go back for a month, so you know, you fuck up, you don't get any second chances. I wanted that opportunity to better myself, so at that stage, I realized I needed to just fucking suck it up. Toe the line, kick along with my sentence, shut my mouth, and do my time and get the fuck.

Out of there. How long into the sentence were you when you realize.

Out of there. How long into the sentence were you when you realize.

That I'm coming up about two years?

That I'm coming up about two years?

So you did the next four years that?

So you did the next four years that?

Yeah, with all that and you know the parole and everything that was. Yeah, I had to make sure that I didn't fuck up.

Yeah, with all that and you know the parole and everything that was. Yeah, I had to make sure that I didn't fuck up.

And that would be hard, right, because you tied to.

And that would be hard, right, because you tied to.

So hard because I was living with mental health issues. You know, I'm extremely high strung. I can be extremely violent back then, you know I was. I was a ticking time. But I had to just start to go deep within myself. And this is where a lot of that change in development came from, because I started to It wasn't until then that I actually spoke up about my sexual abuse being abused. You did that wide I had when I was a child spoken up about what took place then, but then I had just cut off, you know, from the age of about eleven, I never ever spoke about it again until I actually came out of jail after this last sentence and was comfortable enough to say, this is what actually happened to me, you know, and I felt like I just I remember Russell saying, and he's saying that, you know, he took the backpack off that wasn't his anymore and handed it back to his right flown and well, I get it, you know, I get it. It wasn't mine to carry, and I carried it for over thirty years. And you know, my relationship with my dad while I was in jail started to mend, which was really really good, and today we're best mates. I love him dearly. He's a great man, and you know he's he's forgiven him. Maybe we've had ten years of really tough times work like it's been great the last seven or eight nine years, you know what I mean. But it took ten years prior to that of us sitting down and having some deeper meaningfuls and you know, he had to hear what I was feeling, He had to hear what happened he had. But then on the other hand, he got to talk to me as a man and explain a few things to him me about him.

So hard because I was living with mental health issues. You know, I'm extremely high strung. I can be extremely violent back then, you know I was. I was a ticking time. But I had to just start to go deep within myself. And this is where a lot of that change in development came from, because I started to It wasn't until then that I actually spoke up about my sexual abuse being abused. You did that wide I had when I was a child spoken up about what took place then, but then I had just cut off, you know, from the age of about eleven, I never ever spoke about it again until I actually came out of jail after this last sentence and was comfortable enough to say, this is what actually happened to me, you know, and I felt like I just I remember Russell saying, and he's saying that, you know, he took the backpack off that wasn't his anymore and handed it back to his right flown and well, I get it, you know, I get it. It wasn't mine to carry, and I carried it for over thirty years. And you know, my relationship with my dad while I was in jail started to mend, which was really really good, and today we're best mates. I love him dearly. He's a great man, and you know he's he's forgiven him. Maybe we've had ten years of really tough times work like it's been great the last seven or eight nine years, you know what I mean. But it took ten years prior to that of us sitting down and having some deeper meaningfuls and you know, he had to hear what I was feeling, He had to hear what happened he had. But then on the other hand, he got to talk to me as a man and explain a few things to him me about him.

There was a lot of things that were different.

There was a lot of things that were different.

You know, my dad unfortunately went through some shit to me and at the hands of someone else. And at that moment, I realized, Fuck, I know, I get it. I know why he was so angry and so just why he turned to alcohol, why he was violent, Why was I get it. I'm that person, I've been that person.

You know, my dad unfortunately went through some shit to me and at the hands of someone else. And at that moment, I realized, Fuck, I know, I get it. I know why he was so angry and so just why he turned to alcohol, why he was violent, Why was I get it. I'm that person, I've been that person.

It's history repeating itsel Man.

It's history repeating itsel Man.

It was scary, you know, and I thought, Fuck, I can't be angry at this man.

It was scary, you know, and I thought, Fuck, I can't be angry at this man.

He's my dad.

He's my dad.

Yet I hated, not hate, Yeah, I did.

Yet I hated, not hate, Yeah, I did.

Growing up.

Growing up.

I hated him because he just wasn't there when I needed him. But I grew to unconditionally love him as my dad. And I mean, he's a fucking champion.

I hated him because he just wasn't there when I needed him. But I grew to unconditionally love him as my dad. And I mean, he's a fucking champion.

Your own son. You were a strange from for a long time.

Your own son. You were a strange from for a long time.

Yeah, my twenty one year old.

Yeah, my twenty one year old.

But that's changed recently, it has, thank god.

But that's changed recently, it has, thank god.

On his twenty first birthday, my beautiful niece had gotten a message to him and said, listen, you know I love my uncle and I love you, and you guys need to meet up. And have been four years, and you.