Approache Production.

Approache Production.

Hey guys, Simai here from the Clink.

Hey guys, Simai here from the Clink.

While we take a short break over the Christmas period, We're going to drop a couple of episodes, some of our favorite of twenty twenty four so you don't miss out and can continue following the Clink. This episode has been proudly brought to you by our longtime sponsored supporters Sideway Surf.

While we take a short break over the Christmas period, We're going to drop a couple of episodes, some of our favorite of twenty twenty four so you don't miss out and can continue following the Clink. This episode has been proudly brought to you by our longtime sponsored supporters Sideway Surf.

Thank you for all your support.

Thank you for all your support.

This episode of The Clink discusses the sensitive topic of child abuse, sexual abuse and suicide. It may be triggering for some listeners. Please take care when listening. The number four lifeline is thirteen eleven fourteen.

This episode of The Clink discusses the sensitive topic of child abuse, sexual abuse and suicide. It may be triggering for some listeners. Please take care when listening. The number four lifeline is thirteen eleven fourteen.

Photo recket. Don't try and make you out comfortable. Photo record you to try a world and stuff for your photo rack lab on me going oh the work fort record, ain't trying to link, No trying to wish.

Photo recket. Don't try and make you out comfortable. Photo record you to try a world and stuff for your photo rack lab on me going oh the work fort record, ain't trying to link, No trying to wish.

Record for.

Record for.

Record rate for the ready for a record. Don't try and make you uncomfortable.

Record rate for the ready for a record. Don't try and make you uncomfortable.

Welcome back to season fourteen of The Clink. Real Stories of Redemption. Wow, what a season. We've had a massive shout out the Sideways Serf who always walk beside us and keep us able to deliver you the.

Welcome back to season fourteen of The Clink. Real Stories of Redemption. Wow, what a season. We've had a massive shout out the Sideways Serf who always walk beside us and keep us able to deliver you the.

Best stories of redemption.

Best stories of redemption.

I'm so glad everybody's responses, and if you're not already, jump over to Instagram to the Clink podcast page. There are so many messages and I'm grateful to everybody who continues to thank me for what we deliver and our guests for their stories of the redemption.

I'm so glad everybody's responses, and if you're not already, jump over to Instagram to the Clink podcast page. There are so many messages and I'm grateful to everybody who continues to thank me for what we deliver and our guests for their stories of the redemption.

Today's story is very triggering.

Today's story is very triggering.

I will say that to start with, it is not something that we've normally delivered. We will be going dark deep, and it is a very very powerful story. Our guest has worked in the absolute depths of some of the most sickest minds of this country, and it's actually an honor to have her on. She was as what we will call a prison officer or commonly known as a screw to many of you out there who do listen to the podcast, and no offense to her by saying that, but I'm sure that she understands where I'm coming from in layman's terms. Guys, this is a story that I want to share. It's an informative story and it is a story of redemption because our guest has had her own walk of life and is a survivor herself. Today, i'd love to introduce you to Mel Watson. Mel welcome to the clink. This is super super like. I'm actually very excited today to have you here with me and for us to share with the world what I believe will be already like no other.

I will say that to start with, it is not something that we've normally delivered. We will be going dark deep, and it is a very very powerful story. Our guest has worked in the absolute depths of some of the most sickest minds of this country, and it's actually an honor to have her on. She was as what we will call a prison officer or commonly known as a screw to many of you out there who do listen to the podcast, and no offense to her by saying that, but I'm sure that she understands where I'm coming from in layman's terms. Guys, this is a story that I want to share. It's an informative story and it is a story of redemption because our guest has had her own walk of life and is a survivor herself. Today, i'd love to introduce you to Mel Watson. Mel welcome to the clink. This is super super like. I'm actually very excited today to have you here with me and for us to share with the world what I believe will be already like no other.

And wow, what a life so far that you've lived.

And wow, what a life so far that you've lived.

I'm excited to be here and thank you so much for having me.

I'm excited to be here and thank you so much for having me.

You are a survivor yourself of sexual abuse. Is that correct? Yes, that's right, and you definitely have walked the path a fine line when it comes to drugs and trialing the different things in life that we often do, and many of us get caught up in and end up in some serious addiction which then later leads us into jails.

You are a survivor yourself of sexual abuse. Is that correct? Yes, that's right, and you definitely have walked the path a fine line when it comes to drugs and trialing the different things in life that we often do, and many of us get caught up in and end up in some serious addiction which then later leads us into jails.

You yourself were in jail.

You yourself were in jail.

But managed to be on the other side of the fence, so to speak.

But managed to be on the other side of the fence, so to speak.

You were the key holder.

You were the key holder.

On the wrong side.

On the wrong side.

I say, well, the wrong side may be, but for today and for what we'll get into in your story, I must say it has worked out to be the most perfect side because what you do today and I cannot wait to share your story is phenomenal.

I say, well, the wrong side may be, but for today and for what we'll get into in your story, I must say it has worked out to be the most perfect side because what you do today and I cannot wait to share your story is phenomenal.

And the way that you're out there and you know, you really.

And the way that you're out there and you know, you really.

Are standing up for survivors, and you yourself have so much factual input to what it is like to work around pedophiles, scum of the earth, sexual predators that destroy the lives of people, take their innocence. It is the most as far as I'm concerned, horrific crimes. I don't care what anyone says. You cannot convince me, especially as a survivor myself. Enough about me, let's talk about you. Let's go back to what it was like growing up.

Are standing up for survivors, and you yourself have so much factual input to what it is like to work around pedophiles, scum of the earth, sexual predators that destroy the lives of people, take their innocence. It is the most as far as I'm concerned, horrific crimes. I don't care what anyone says. You cannot convince me, especially as a survivor myself. Enough about me, let's talk about you. Let's go back to what it was like growing up.

I grew up in a domestic violence household. There was a lot of family violence. My parents were very toxic. My brother and I were born straight into that, so we never actually got, you know, the happy childhood that you would expect to have, and we would have police at our house, would go outside after huge fights on the whole street would be watching. And I was, unfortunately in that environment where there was so much neglect because.

I grew up in a domestic violence household. There was a lot of family violence. My parents were very toxic. My brother and I were born straight into that, so we never actually got, you know, the happy childhood that you would expect to have, and we would have police at our house, would go outside after huge fights on the whole street would be watching. And I was, unfortunately in that environment where there was so much neglect because.

My parents were either well my mum.

My parents were either well my mum.

Was heavily addicted to prescription pills, so she was always asleep and my dad was always at work, so when they would come back together, it was just chaos fighting, and unfortunately that resulted in sexual abuse. So at the age of four, I was sexually abused by a family member and also a next door neighbor. And it's no disrespect to my parents, but I do put it down to that environment being unsupervised and you know, not watching us and not focusing on us. And then I missed out on a lot of school. When I did go to school, I couldn't interact with kids.

Was heavily addicted to prescription pills, so she was always asleep and my dad was always at work, so when they would come back together, it was just chaos fighting, and unfortunately that resulted in sexual abuse. So at the age of four, I was sexually abused by a family member and also a next door neighbor. And it's no disrespect to my parents, but I do put it down to that environment being unsupervised and you know, not watching us and not focusing on us. And then I missed out on a lot of school. When I did go to school, I couldn't interact with kids.

I was very I guess I was in a.

I was very I guess I was in a.

Way a bully like I was just a very angry child, and I struggled to get along with children, and I struggled to have friends, and people didn't understand me. And then when I got to the age of eight to ten, I think it was between those ages, I was sexually abused at a public pool by an old man, so he was swimming underwater, he had goggles on and sexually abused me in a very busy pool, where I ended up telling the lifeguard and my stepmom at the time, but unfortunately he had left. So there was that, and then there was my parents after they separated. There was a lot of alienation. I had to pick a side. There was manipulation. I was going to school and you know, saying really nasty things about the other parent to my teachers because that's what was put into my head, and then I got to high school and all the hormone uans and all the trauma coming out, and I just started turning to drugs.

Way a bully like I was just a very angry child, and I struggled to get along with children, and I struggled to have friends, and people didn't understand me. And then when I got to the age of eight to ten, I think it was between those ages, I was sexually abused at a public pool by an old man, so he was swimming underwater, he had goggles on and sexually abused me in a very busy pool, where I ended up telling the lifeguard and my stepmom at the time, but unfortunately he had left. So there was that, and then there was my parents after they separated. There was a lot of alienation. I had to pick a side. There was manipulation. I was going to school and you know, saying really nasty things about the other parent to my teachers because that's what was put into my head, and then I got to high school and all the hormone uans and all the trauma coming out, and I just started turning to drugs.

I was partying. I was very, very rebellious. I was up to no good. I was running away, coming home late at night, fighting with my parents.

I was partying. I was very, very rebellious. I was up to no good. I was running away, coming home late at night, fighting with my parents.

And at that age, I think age of fifteen, I got groomed by my dad's best friend.

And at that age, I think age of fifteen, I got groomed by my dad's best friend.

So he knew a lot about what happened to me.

So he knew a lot about what happened to me.

I disclosed a lot of my life to him as a child, and he unfortunately took that upon him to target me because I was so vulnerable, and it turned into a sexual relationship, which came out when I was eighteen, and that's when I became suicidal.

I disclosed a lot of my life to him as a child, and he unfortunately took that upon him to target me because I was so vulnerable, and it turned into a sexual relationship, which came out when I was eighteen, and that's when I became suicidal.

So can I just slow that down for a little bit. Yeah, And to no disrespect of this story, I just wanted to just break it down a little bit more for our listeners. So you're thirteen being groomed by an adult man this sexual relationship. Did you call it a relationship? So was it something that you just accepted.

So can I just slow that down for a little bit. Yeah, And to no disrespect of this story, I just wanted to just break it down a little bit more for our listeners. So you're thirteen being groomed by an adult man this sexual relationship. Did you call it a relationship? So was it something that you just accepted.

That that was the norm at that time?

That that was the norm at that time?

It was something I called it a relationship.

It was something I called it a relationship.

I thought I was in love and actually, up until the age of twenty seven, I was telling people that I regret having an affair when I was because he was married with kids. So I was telling people like, I had an affair and when I was fifteen years old with a man who was in his thirties and he was also my dad's best friend and he was also my boss.

I thought I was in love and actually, up until the age of twenty seven, I was telling people that I regret having an affair when I was because he was married with kids. So I was telling people like, I had an affair and when I was fifteen years old with a man who was in his thirties and he was also my dad's best friend and he was also my boss.

So was this more do you think like a And please don't once again, I'm not trying to be offensive here. I would really like to get deep into this because it's yeah, there is so much around these sexual predators, and that's all I'm going to refer to them. As you know, you're a young woman, and you're a very attractive young woman. I'm sure that you were. You were gorgeous when you were younger. This man obviously knew you were extremely vulnerable, knowing the family, knowing you have confined in him.

So was this more do you think like a And please don't once again, I'm not trying to be offensive here. I would really like to get deep into this because it's yeah, there is so much around these sexual predators, and that's all I'm going to refer to them. As you know, you're a young woman, and you're a very attractive young woman. I'm sure that you were. You were gorgeous when you were younger. This man obviously knew you were extremely vulnerable, knowing the family, knowing you have confined in him.

Did you.

Did you.

Feel I guess at that stage that this was more just a comfort thing, a protection thing, him being there. Was it something like that in reference to you just having that male there to know that you are okay even.

Feel I guess at that stage that this was more just a comfort thing, a protection thing, him being there. Was it something like that in reference to you just having that male there to know that you are okay even.

Though it was wrong.

Though it was wrong.

Yeah, I think because there was just no love in my childhood, I think that's always what I was searching for as I got older.

Yeah, I think because there was just no love in my childhood, I think that's always what I was searching for as I got older.

And I just wanted to say, it's my point.

And I just wanted to say, it's my point.

You know, this person was showing me love and showing me something that not even my parents were.

You know, this person was showing me love and showing me something that not even my parents were.

Giving to me.

Giving to me.

So it was just so hard to realize how wrong I was, especially at that age and with everything that was going on.

So it was just so hard to realize how wrong I was, especially at that age and with everything that was going on.

You know, I guess as a survivor, must I do totally one understand the mindset and mentality of these sick people. Yeah, and I'm sure that our listeners out there who are survivors, and please, if you are, do take very good care of yourself after this, and if it is true, then please reach out and we will leave some information at the end of this for you.

You know, I guess as a survivor, must I do totally one understand the mindset and mentality of these sick people. Yeah, and I'm sure that our listeners out there who are survivors, and please, if you are, do take very good care of yourself after this, and if it is true, then please reach out and we will leave some information at the end of this for you.

Now.

Now.

I I'm feeling a little bit emotional listening to your story already because I'm visualizing. I'm starting to get a picture of this broken young woman, this broken young girl you weren't even a woman at thirteen, Yeah, not at all, you know, seeking the love that she didn't have, seeking that protection that male I guess comfort.

I I'm feeling a little bit emotional listening to your story already because I'm visualizing. I'm starting to get a picture of this broken young woman, this broken young girl you weren't even a woman at thirteen, Yeah, not at all, you know, seeking the love that she didn't have, seeking that protection that male I guess comfort.

You know that I have a daughter myself who's sixteen.

You know that I have a daughter myself who's sixteen.

You know, she lays down with me and watches TV and comes in and gives me a cuddle and a snug.

You know, she lays down with me and watches TV and comes in and gives me a cuddle and a snug.

Dad can I and that's me is just so heart feeling, you know, for her.

Dad can I and that's me is just so heart feeling, you know, for her.

Just that's what she needs, that's what she wants in seventeen, she just wants.

Just that's what she needs, that's what she wants in seventeen, she just wants.

To be held by and loved her dad. You didn't receive that, but you deserved that.

To be held by and loved her dad. You didn't receive that, but you deserved that.

Yeah, this man obviously was trying to replicate that, but then taking things well and truly out of context. And I'm sure that he's very conscious of this. Did this come out to his wife?

Yeah, this man obviously was trying to replicate that, but then taking things well and truly out of context. And I'm sure that he's very conscious of this. Did this come out to his wife?

Yes, So.

Yes, So.

He actually had photos of me that he had linked to his wife's like eye cloud, so that had popped up on her phone and that's what she had found. But I still hadn't told anyone, and he hadn't told anyone who was like he hadn't told his wife or it was. But I ended up telling my dad and it pretty much just all came back in my face. I got victim blamed very badly also by.

He actually had photos of me that he had linked to his wife's like eye cloud, so that had popped up on her phone and that's what she had found. But I still hadn't told anyone, and he hadn't told anyone who was like he hadn't told his wife or it was. But I ended up telling my dad and it pretty much just all came back in my face. I got victim blamed very badly also by.

How fucked is that? I never I'll never forget that I got back handed. The moment I said I was being raped by my nigh was two brothers who lived basically men raping me and I tried to expose them and I was told, you're fucking liar. I'm backhanded, in front, in front of in front of their uncle who my father drank alcohol with, like well what the fuck? And I'm a boy and you know you're a young woman, And it basically is the same thing.

How fucked is that? I never I'll never forget that I got back handed. The moment I said I was being raped by my nigh was two brothers who lived basically men raping me and I tried to expose them and I was told, you're fucking liar. I'm backhanded, in front, in front of in front of their uncle who my father drank alcohol with, like well what the fuck? And I'm a boy and you know you're a young woman, And it basically is the same thing.

It's the second thing. It's so common. I hear it from so many people.

It's the second thing. It's so common. I hear it from so many people.

It's you know, they come out and then they're the ones in trouble for it, or they're the ones who are getting the blame for it.

It's you know, they come out and then they're the ones in trouble for it, or they're the ones who are getting the blame for it.

And it's like.

And it's like.

These are children, these are like even teenagers are children and miners.

These are children, these are like even teenagers are children and miners.

You know, the brain, our brains are not.

You know, the brain, our brains are not.

Fully developed, and it should only lie on the person who did it, or the blame and the shame and everything else should lie on them. It's just one thing that I I copped it so bad. I ended up, honestly like hiding away from where I grew up.

Fully developed, and it should only lie on the person who did it, or the blame and the shame and everything else should lie on them. It's just one thing that I I copped it so bad. I ended up, honestly like hiding away from where I grew up.

I hid away from everyone.

I hid away from everyone.

I had all my social media just like lockdown, nobody could add me. And I really talk like that really fucked me up. The victim blaming was honestly worse the thing. That's the event itself. Yeah, yeah, made me suicidal at eighteen.

I had all my social media just like lockdown, nobody could add me. And I really talk like that really fucked me up. The victim blaming was honestly worse the thing. That's the event itself. Yeah, yeah, made me suicidal at eighteen.

He got me fuck me.

He got me fuck me.

I actually don't really get emotionally.

I actually don't really get emotionally.

I.

I.

No and I'm gonna be honest with you. I knew this was going to be.

No and I'm gonna be honest with you. I knew this was going to be.

I knew this was going to be a solid one, and I knew that.

I knew this was going to be a solid one, and I knew that.

That it's going to be quite rattling, you know.

That it's going to be quite rattling, you know.

And I think about where we're going to go with this conversation and what you worked around seeing.

And I think about where we're going to go with this conversation and what you worked around seeing.

Far out.

Far out.

I'm having a bit of a moment myself, because, as I said in the start, this is going to be triggering for many.

I'm having a bit of a moment myself, because, as I said in the start, this is going to be triggering for many.

Yeah it's triggering me right now. So apologies, but.

Yeah it's triggering me right now. So apologies, but.

This is the clink, and this is real stories of redemption, and this is about real people sharing real stories. And I want to say to you, I I'm sorry you went through that, and I know that you know that doesn't change anything, and we both understand.

This is the clink, and this is real stories of redemption, and this is about real people sharing real stories. And I want to say to you, I I'm sorry you went through that, and I know that you know that doesn't change anything, and we both understand.

Yeah, the realities of living with the traumas of abuse, but let's continue. Aideen. You become suicidal.

Yeah, the realities of living with the traumas of abuse, but let's continue. Aideen. You become suicidal.

Yeah, I was suicidal.

Yeah, I was suicidal.

I was just like looking back on my life and I was just like fuck this, Like what is there for me?

I was just like looking back on my life and I was just like fuck this, Like what is there for me?

I didn't feel like I belonged. Everyone turned on me, My own dad turned on me, and I just I was ready to go.

I didn't feel like I belonged. Everyone turned on me, My own dad turned on me, and I just I was ready to go.

And it was my mum actually who she flew me down to Melbourne. She was from Victoria and she basically was trying to get me back on track, like get me out of that really dark place I was in.

And it was my mum actually who she flew me down to Melbourne. She was from Victoria and she basically was trying to get me back on track, like get me out of that really dark place I was in.

And there was.

And there was.

Like using a lot of drugs at that time. Now, was it something that you.

Like using a lot of drugs at that time. Now, was it something that you.

Were sort of that was your way of facing the world and of drugs if you don't mind what we're using and what was your habit, you know what was your thing?

Were sort of that was your way of facing the world and of drugs if you don't mind what we're using and what was your habit, you know what was your thing?

Weed was definitely my thing.

Weed was definitely my thing.

I was smoking a lot of that, but I was also doing a lot of pills that was like my party drug, and drinking, like drinking heavily, and I was mixing all of that together, and I guess that that also was bringing me down as well. I was turning to all these little escapes. But in the end, it was like once I was coming out of it, like for example, I'd have pills and then the next day I was like on the calmdown, and that's when I was feeling the worst, like just oppressed and you know, fuck this and I don't want to do this anymore. And yeah, I just got to that point where I was just I was honestly, I had it made up in my mind that I was I was going and yeah, I have my mom to think because if it wasn't for her and her supporting me through that, being the only person who supported me through that, I wouldn't have been you.

I was smoking a lot of that, but I was also doing a lot of pills that was like my party drug, and drinking, like drinking heavily, and I was mixing all of that together, and I guess that that also was bringing me down as well. I was turning to all these little escapes. But in the end, it was like once I was coming out of it, like for example, I'd have pills and then the next day I was like on the calmdown, and that's when I was feeling the worst, like just oppressed and you know, fuck this and I don't want to do this anymore. And yeah, I just got to that point where I was just I was honestly, I had it made up in my mind that I was I was going and yeah, I have my mom to think because if it wasn't for her and her supporting me through that, being the only person who supported me through that, I wouldn't have been you.

No way.

No way.

I'm not going to ask you how because as far as I'm concerned, and I've done a lot of work around suicidality and our language around.

I'm not going to ask you how because as far as I'm concerned, and I've done a lot of work around suicidality and our language around.

Speaking of.

Speaking of.

People taking their lives, and I don't feel that we need to discuss.

People taking their lives, and I don't feel that we need to discuss.

How things happen and what took place. But I would like to ask.

How things happen and what took place. But I would like to ask.

You know that moment happened, you survived, How did you survive? And from there where did things go?

You know that moment happened, you survived, How did you survive? And from there where did things go?

I'm just going to tell you I was trying to overdose.

I'm just going to tell you I was trying to overdose.

And I messaged my mom and I was just basically telling her like I'm going to kill myself. And that's when she was just like please, just I will fly you down to Melbourne the next day. Just come down here, let me let me help you. And I was just like no, like I didn't even want her help. I was just like, no, I've made up my mind, like I'm this is what I'm doing. And it was that conversation with her, I guess where I was just like, you know, what have I got to lose like I can always do this, And at that moment, I really wanted to see my mom as well. Just hearing in her voice and everything. I think that was what pulled me out of it. And yeah, I flew down with her, and basically she didn't really she didn't really fix me, because I just came back even worse. But she stopped me and she gave me a chance to get better.

And I messaged my mom and I was just basically telling her like I'm going to kill myself. And that's when she was just like please, just I will fly you down to Melbourne the next day. Just come down here, let me let me help you. And I was just like no, like I didn't even want her help. I was just like, no, I've made up my mind, like I'm this is what I'm doing. And it was that conversation with her, I guess where I was just like, you know, what have I got to lose like I can always do this, And at that moment, I really wanted to see my mom as well. Just hearing in her voice and everything. I think that was what pulled me out of it. And yeah, I flew down with her, and basically she didn't really she didn't really fix me, because I just came back even worse. But she stopped me and she gave me a chance to get better.

Amen to that.

Amen to that.

That's all I'm going to say, because you know your journey is an amazing one, and you know that for our listeners that you've really got to hang into this story because it gets it gets crazy and wow, wow, wow wow, and hence me wanting to have you on here to share that. You know, we're about to hit three million downloads and I want every one of those persons to hear your story. And I know it's going to resonate. I know we're going to help people. I know that you're going to be able to have your voice, you know. And it makes me so proud to have a platform that I can do this on and give people, wonderful people like yourself this opportunity to be able to you know, share this terrible and horrific traumatic start to your life, but far out.

That's all I'm going to say, because you know your journey is an amazing one, and you know that for our listeners that you've really got to hang into this story because it gets it gets crazy and wow, wow, wow wow, and hence me wanting to have you on here to share that. You know, we're about to hit three million downloads and I want every one of those persons to hear your story. And I know it's going to resonate. I know we're going to help people. I know that you're going to be able to have your voice, you know. And it makes me so proud to have a platform that I can do this on and give people, wonderful people like yourself this opportunity to be able to you know, share this terrible and horrific traumatic start to your life, but far out.

Man, Wow, what a road that it went after.

Man, Wow, what a road that it went after.

This is weird when it's so weird, like saying it out loud, because I've been so silent about my life, like I've never really I've never had a voice, if that makes sense. So I'm still very vulnerable, Like sharing my story, it's still very like gives me anxiety, but it needs, like I need to talk about it because I know that it will resonate with others, and I know that it will help others find their voice. And that's that's something that I want everyone to have, is a voice.

This is weird when it's so weird, like saying it out loud, because I've been so silent about my life, like I've never really I've never had a voice, if that makes sense. So I'm still very vulnerable, Like sharing my story, it's still very like gives me anxiety, but it needs, like I need to talk about it because I know that it will resonate with others, and I know that it will help others find their voice. And that's that's something that I want everyone to have, is a voice.

You connected back with mum.

You connected back with mum.

Yeah, had Mum known at this point the real depth of your trauma and abuse or.

Yeah, had Mum known at this point the real depth of your trauma and abuse or.

My parents have always believed me with all of my sexual abuse, but I was blamed for the one at fifteen.

My parents have always believed me with all of my sexual abuse, but I was blamed for the one at fifteen.

So basically it was your choice.

So basically it was your choice.

You chose to allow that to occur, in those actions to take place, and being that relationship with that married me.

You chose to allow that to occur, in those actions to take place, and being that relationship with that married me.

Yes, that's correct.

Yes, that's correct.

What happened once you got back in contact with mum and moving forward from the attempt.

What happened once you got back in contact with mum and moving forward from the attempt.

So I went to Victoria for a little bit, for maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a little longer. I came back to Sydney and then I just continued what I was doing, partying, drinking, snorting coke.

So I went to Victoria for a little bit, for maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a little longer. I came back to Sydney and then I just continued what I was doing, partying, drinking, snorting coke.

That was my thing when I came back. And then.

That was my thing when I came back. And then.

I think I shouldn't laugh, and look, please, it's not funny because there are people out there that you know.

I think I shouldn't laugh, and look, please, it's not funny because there are people out there that you know.

No, no, why why do we all love the coke?

No, no, why why do we all love the coke?

I mean, it's just something the I'm addicted to coke zero these days. I don't snort it, but I definitely drink it out of a glass bottle.

I mean, it's just something the I'm addicted to coke zero these days. I don't snort it, but I definitely drink it out of a glass bottle.

Now you know what it was.

Now you know what it was.

I don't know why, but everywhere I would go, like to a night club or something, I would go into the bathrooms make friends with a girl and she would ask me if I wanted to, you know, have rack up some lines in the cubicle, and what.

I don't know why, but everywhere I would go, like to a night club or something, I would go into the bathrooms make friends with a girl and she would ask me if I wanted to, you know, have rack up some lines in the cubicle, and what.

The fuck is wrong with us? Like, I don't know how many times people do that? And you see them just on a filthy, disgusting, fucking toilet, sit there and tip a bag out, rail it up and then everyone's just snorting like what now that fuck? It is the most beutred. But we've all been there when we're young.

The fuck is wrong with us? Like, I don't know how many times people do that? And you see them just on a filthy, disgusting, fucking toilet, sit there and tip a bag out, rail it up and then everyone's just snorting like what now that fuck? It is the most beutred. But we've all been there when we're young.

Oh my goodness, Like there's no no, elegance is there around it.

Oh my goodness, Like there's no no, elegance is there around it.

It's just get it in there and have a good time on the.

It's just get it in there and have a good time on the.

Top of the toilet bowl gym.

Top of the toilet bowl gym.

Oh wow wow.

Oh wow wow.

And we didn't have phones so much back then, and I mean, well I didn't. And anyway, I don't know about your generation because you're a little bit younger, but yeah, far out you know, wow, the old I don't come in handy didn't it over the year?

And we didn't have phones so much back then, and I mean, well I didn't. And anyway, I don't know about your generation because you're a little bit younger, but yeah, far out you know, wow, the old I don't come in handy didn't it over the year?

Is the key? Hard? Well there you go.

Is the key? Hard? Well there you go.

So and look, we're not inspiring people out there or to go into any queue because of any nightclub and snort coke because not at all.

So and look, we're not inspiring people out there or to go into any queue because of any nightclub and snort coke because not at all.

Please don't. It is shit, literally shit.

Please don't. It is shit, literally shit.

Especially now coke is definitely not coke anymore. So just don't even risk.

Especially now coke is definitely not coke anymore. So just don't even risk.

No, it's not.

No, it's not.

And the world is a different place to what it was many years ago. You know, that style of life becomes very routine, and you know, like it is. It's such a smoke screen way of living because you know, all you're doing is suppressing the truth and the cold hard emotions of what you're living with.

And the world is a different place to what it was many years ago. You know, that style of life becomes very routine, and you know, like it is. It's such a smoke screen way of living because you know, all you're doing is suppressing the truth and the cold hard emotions of what you're living with.

You know, that's exactly what I was doing.

You know, that's exactly what I was doing.

How was for you Mail?

How was for you Mail?

When the reality kicked back in during the week, you know, and Mel had to really face you know, the facts of what was going on in your life.

When the reality kicked back in during the week, you know, and Mel had to really face you know, the facts of what was going on in your life.

Talk to us about that.

Talk to us about that.

I wasn't facing I wasn't facing anything. No, no, no, I was.

I wasn't facing I wasn't facing anything. No, no, no, I was.

So you were wearing this mark.

So you were wearing this mark.

I was escaping everything.

I was escaping everything.

Oh.

Oh.

I didn't want to face it. I didn't want to think about it. I was just going out all the time, smoking weed all the time. And it got to the point where I went out one night and this was This was probably not that long after I came back from Melbourne. I went out and I met a guy, and three months later I ended up pregnant at I was pregnant at eighteen, and.

I didn't want to face it. I didn't want to think about it. I was just going out all the time, smoking weed all the time. And it got to the point where I went out one night and this was This was probably not that long after I came back from Melbourne. I went out and I met a guy, and three months later I ended up pregnant at I was pregnant at eighteen, and.

That was hard because I ended up getting.

That was hard because I ended up getting.

Personatal depression with my boy and I had to have a nurse come to my house for a year to help me look after him because I was just I hadn't I just jumped from being suicidal and then I'm a mum, do you know what I mean? With someone that I barely know.

Personatal depression with my boy and I had to have a nurse come to my house for a year to help me look after him because I was just I hadn't I just jumped from being suicidal and then I'm a mum, do you know what I mean? With someone that I barely know.

So that was But you know, my boy saved my life.

So that was But you know, my boy saved my life.

If it wasn't for him, if I didn't have him, I would have I don't even think I would be here, to.

If it wasn't for him, if I didn't have him, I would have I don't even think I would be here, to.

Be honest, that's actually very sweet and can I don't want to bring your details of your son into this story, because that's something I think is something that's very special that we like to keep private.

Be honest, that's actually very sweet and can I don't want to bring your details of your son into this story, because that's something I think is something that's very special that we like to keep private.

And I mean, look, I.

And I mean, look, I.

Occasionally talk about my children they're a bit older, but your son.

Occasionally talk about my children they're a bit older, but your son.

Is of how old?

Is of how old?

He's nine?

He's nine?

Now? Nine? Wow?

Now? Nine? Wow?

Yeah, Bennington, look at the smile on your face, even the way you just light up.

Yeah, Bennington, look at the smile on your face, even the way you just light up.

Then you know, like it's a beautiful thing, isn't it.

Then you know, like it's a beautiful thing, isn't it.

He's so beautiful?

He's so beautiful?

You know what he said to me the other day, he goes, he goes, what's the happiest time you've ever had in your childhood? And I was like, look, to be honest, bear, but I don't really have many good childhood memories.

You know what he said to me the other day, he goes, he goes, what's the happiest time you've ever had in your childhood? And I was like, look, to be honest, bear, but I don't really have many good childhood memories.

And he's like, I'm really sorry about that, Mum.

And he's like, I'm really sorry about that, Mum.

It's like I have so many amazing ones with like you and Daddy, like that's my ex partner.

It's like I have so many amazing ones with like you and Daddy, like that's my ex partner.

And that was just a big thing for me.

And that was just a big thing for me.

That was just like wow, like I've done something right along the way of the life that I've had, and I've no I always wanted to be a mom because I always wanted to give my children what I didn't have, because I could never never put my kids through anything like that ever.

That was just like wow, like I've done something right along the way of the life that I've had, and I've no I always wanted to be a mom because I always wanted to give my children what I didn't have, because I could never never put my kids through anything like that ever.

One hundred percent. I love that.

One hundred percent. I love that.

I absolutely love that, and you know, I think that's what makes us be the best we can be as parents. And this is not taken away from anybody out there, any of you wonderful people who I'm listening to Mel's story today, But I will say I do believe that those of us that have really had to experience some of the most terrific times as children and young persons, we know that it's not what we would ever want for me growing up and housing Commission in western suburbs of Sydney.

I absolutely love that, and you know, I think that's what makes us be the best we can be as parents. And this is not taken away from anybody out there, any of you wonderful people who I'm listening to Mel's story today, But I will say I do believe that those of us that have really had to experience some of the most terrific times as children and young persons, we know that it's not what we would ever want for me growing up and housing Commission in western suburbs of Sydney.

The abuse that I endured, the things that I've seen growing up.

The abuse that I endured, the things that I've seen growing up.

The moment I could and I went on the run, mind you, as soon as my older myst was twenty five now, and the moment his mom was pregnant, I was just like, right, name changeaball maut he, let's go.

The moment I could and I went on the run, mind you, as soon as my older myst was twenty five now, and the moment his mom was pregnant, I was just like, right, name changeaball maut he, let's go.

I was on the run from the coppers and bang he was born. And I did not want I did everything.

I was on the run from the coppers and bang he was born. And I did not want I did everything.

I could, right or wrong to get the fuck out of that place of Campbelltown.

I could, right or wrong to get the fuck out of that place of Campbelltown.

Yeah, to find.

Yeah, to find.

A better place. Originally, Yeah, seldom go there ever, because I have nothing but terrible memories that I never wanted. And I went down for a dear brother of mine's birthday some years ago, and I flew the children down there and I took him for a.

A better place. Originally, Yeah, seldom go there ever, because I have nothing but terrible memories that I never wanted. And I went down for a dear brother of mine's birthday some years ago, and I flew the children down there and I took him for a.

Drive through Ads and Brabery and.

Drive through Ads and Brabery and.

They were the areas where I was stumping around and it was just it is the bronx fathom and what I what I tell people is nothing had changed in the thirty years. That's my house that I lived in the street, that the people there was, even families that still were there that I knew I've seen and I look there obviously got noldy, you know, but it's a generational thing and no one's broken the cycle. And it was just actually we actually filmed their SBS did a documentary which is something you might have seen on my page about what I went through.

They were the areas where I was stumping around and it was just it is the bronx fathom and what I what I tell people is nothing had changed in the thirty years. That's my house that I lived in the street, that the people there was, even families that still were there that I knew I've seen and I look there obviously got noldy, you know, but it's a generational thing and no one's broken the cycle. And it was just actually we actually filmed their SBS did a documentary which is something you might have seen on my page about what I went through.

It's called Breaking the Cycle. So we went back there and we filmed there, and you just it's a vortex. You've got to get out of there.

It's called Breaking the Cycle. So we went back there and we filmed there, and you just it's a vortex. You've got to get out of there.

If you want to have a better life, you have to get out of there.

If you want to have a better life, you have to get out of there.

Yeah, the cycle just continues if you don't. That's the unfortunate thing. Not many are willing to break the cycle. I don't feel like out like the older generation, no disrespect, are the ones that really struggled with breaking the cycle for their kids.

Yeah, the cycle just continues if you don't. That's the unfortunate thing. Not many are willing to break the cycle. I don't feel like out like the older generation, no disrespect, are the ones that really struggled with breaking the cycle for their kids.

I don't think they understood truly, how like I really don't like and the things and the effort that you've got to go through that you sacrifice.

I don't think they understood truly, how like I really don't like and the things and the effort that you've got to go through that you sacrifice.

You know, I guess the comfort zone of.

You know, I guess the comfort zone of.

Their neighborhood, their their daily routines, you know, and it is it's just the same ship day in and day out, and it just gets handed down. You know, you become such a product of your environment. Breaking the cycle is the key. And if we can do it and reach out and help people to do that, I mean, it's not easy financially, it's not easy emotionally.

Their neighborhood, their their daily routines, you know, and it is it's just the same ship day in and day out, and it just gets handed down. You know, you become such a product of your environment. Breaking the cycle is the key. And if we can do it and reach out and help people to do that, I mean, it's not easy financially, it's not easy emotionally.

And you obviously know that yourself.

And you obviously know that yourself.

You went from you know, a life of I guess just fucking run on a mark, you know, to starting to get yourself straight and how the hell you got where you were where you got to and remained and remained a legitimate, legitimate screw prison officer. That's got me blown because you're just one of the girls from You're just you're just one of the girls from the hood, mate, you know, one of them.

You went from you know, a life of I guess just fucking run on a mark, you know, to starting to get yourself straight and how the hell you got where you were where you got to and remained and remained a legitimate, legitimate screw prison officer. That's got me blown because you're just one of the girls from You're just you're just one of the girls from the hood, mate, you know, one of them.

You're one of them. You're one of them. Cool ah, But you know what I mean, I could I could legit, just kick kick back with you.

You're one of them. You're one of them. Cool ah, But you know what I mean, I could I could legit, just kick kick back with you.

You'd be someone I wouldn't even wouldn't even second thought about hanging out with.

You'd be someone I wouldn't even wouldn't even second thought about hanging out with.

You know what I mean, you'd be just one of us. But you're so not one of us. Yes, one that fucking went against this.

You know what I mean, you'd be just one of us. But you're so not one of us. Yes, one that fucking went against this.

Well, the morals and the codes went out the window, and on the blues you went, Hey, couldn't you supported the greens rather than the Blues?

Well, the morals and the codes went out the window, and on the blues you went, Hey, couldn't you supported the greens rather than the Blues?

I didn't know how bad it was?

I didn't know how bad it was?

Oh God love you so Mel. You went from.

Oh God love you so Mel. You went from.

This, this life of partying and running a mark and as I said, you know, you could have well and truly been that person that you know would have ended up in her greens and you know, in deep addiction and crime. Where did that start to straighten out and your life start to take a different turn?

This, this life of partying and running a mark and as I said, you know, you could have well and truly been that person that you know would have ended up in her greens and you know, in deep addiction and crime. Where did that start to straighten out and your life start to take a different turn?

You know what was that are like going into your twenties?

You know what was that are like going into your twenties?

It was when I became a mum, to be honest, like I had no choice but to pull my head in like I had to for my kids, well, for my boy.

It was when I became a mum, to be honest, like I had no choice but to pull my head in like I had to for my kids, well, for my boy.

Yeah, that was it. I just I.

Yeah, that was it. I just I.

Didn't want to give my my boy a bad childhood. And I had to go back to work, but I couldn't get a job.

Didn't want to give my my boy a bad childhood. And I had to go back to work, but I couldn't get a job.

So corrections was the only ones who would take.

So corrections was the only ones who would take.

Me corrections, So I take anyone. Let's not get into that.

Me corrections, So I take anyone. Let's not get into that.

I mean a lot of them don't even speak English, So how hard could it be?

I mean a lot of them don't even speak English, So how hard could it be?

Not hard at all. If a mom who's been out of work for five years can get it, yes you can.

Not hard at all. If a mom who's been out of work for five years can get it, yes you can.

It's so true after applying for jobs for nine months, anyone can get that job. And just let me stay working with them.

It's so true after applying for jobs for nine months, anyone can get that job. And just let me stay working with them.

Anyone can get that job.

Anyone can get that job.

Which when you say corrections, what state are we talking about. Are you're still in Melbourne.

Which when you say corrections, what state are we talking about. Are you're still in Melbourne.

Or did you come back to Sydney, New South Wales? So you worked in the New South Wales system.

Or did you come back to Sydney, New South Wales? So you worked in the New South Wales system.

I did.

I did.

I worked at Long Bay and I worked at the Downy Center District Court. But I also worked at a few courts like Liverpool, Campbelltown, Burward, Paramatta. I mostly did the courts, but yeah, Long Bay was my only prison that I did.

I worked at Long Bay and I worked at the Downy Center District Court. But I also worked at a few courts like Liverpool, Campbelltown, Burward, Paramatta. I mostly did the courts, but yeah, Long Bay was my only prison that I did.

We'll get into that in a minute, because obviously I've spent a lot of time at Long Bay and I know all about the different sections of that jail, so I'm very familiar with Possibly, I'm assuming it was in the special purpose unit.

We'll get into that in a minute, because obviously I've spent a lot of time at Long Bay and I know all about the different sections of that jail, so I'm very familiar with Possibly, I'm assuming it was in the special purpose unit.

No it wasn't.

No it wasn't.

No, it wasn't, so Wing ten Wing wasn't.

No, it wasn't, so Wing ten Wing wasn't.

Oh no, no, no special purpose unit is that's that's a different one.

Oh no, no, no special purpose unit is that's that's a different one.

No. No, I was working in what we call Area one, which is like the maximum, and I worked in Area two, which is more like medium, and then Area three, which is minimum. So I moved around when I worked there.

No. No, I was working in what we call Area one, which is like the maximum, and I worked in Area two, which is more like medium, and then Area three, which is minimum. So I moved around when I worked there.

So you okay, So you were basically just for those that didn't know the bay. You're probably and correct me for wrong. You're in around about eleven, twelve, thirteen wing doing.

So you okay, So you were basically just for those that didn't know the bay. You're probably and correct me for wrong. You're in around about eleven, twelve, thirteen wing doing.

The remand nine eight seven.

The remand nine eight seven.

Nine and seven, well seven were always reception and transit, and.

Nine and seven, well seven were always reception and transit, and.

You know we're going we're going back.

You know we're going we're going back.

My brains, my brain's boggling where VOTP was.

My brains, my brain's boggling where VOTP was.

If anyone knows what that is, that's that's where I was.

If anyone knows what that is, that's that's where I was.

Okay. So you're looking after the bakery.

Okay. So you're looking after the bakery.

Boys, Yes, bakery boys.

Boys, Yes, bakery boys.

Yes, that changed, didn't it?

Yes, that changed, didn't it?

Not the best?

Not the best?

Not the best? Not the best?

Not the best? Not the best?

I think since I think since you've been in and things, the areas may have changed a lot.

I think since I think since you've been in and things, the areas may have changed a lot.

Yeah, definitely, because you had the ri C, well you originally had the SIP. I was at the SIP when I was eighteen, so that just goes to show how long ago I was there.

Yeah, definitely, because you had the ri C, well you originally had the SIP. I was at the SIP when I was eighteen, so that just goes to show how long ago I was there.

Yeah, a lot of a lot of things would have changed since then, for sure.

Yeah, a lot of a lot of things would have changed since then, for sure.

So you went through the corrections process, you were obviously accepted as a correctional officer.

So you went through the corrections process, you were obviously accepted as a correctional officer.

I don't know how.

I don't know how.

Well yeah, well, I mean, look at the end of the day, it was God's will and that's how you ended up there. And look, in all honesty, I mean, if you look at it from a point of view of a redemption story, there's the start of your redemption.

Well yeah, well, I mean, look at the end of the day, it was God's will and that's how you ended up there. And look, in all honesty, I mean, if you look at it from a point of view of a redemption story, there's the start of your redemption.

You know, like no one can take that away from you.

You know, like no one can take that away from you.

And you know, I'm look, not all crims are bad, not all screws are bad, and I'm not going to sit here and go on about that, but you know, you're a mum, You're out there, you're trying to do your best, and at the time, this was the best possible opportunity for you to have a future and.

And you know, I'm look, not all crims are bad, not all screws are bad, and I'm not going to sit here and go on about that, but you know, you're a mum, You're out there, you're trying to do your best, and at the time, this was the best possible opportunity for you to have a future and.

To set yourself up.

To set yourself up.

Yeah, you start to work in and around criminals, people incarcerat him. Let's talk about that, because that right there, for somebody who's never really seen that style of.

Yeah, you start to work in and around criminals, people incarcerat him. Let's talk about that, because that right there, for somebody who's never really seen that style of.

Living and that way of life, yeah, it must have been quite overwhelming. Intimatly. Like I said, I'm not I'm not being.

Living and that way of life, yeah, it must have been quite overwhelming. Intimatly. Like I said, I'm not I'm not being.

Crude or disrespectful, but you would have probably stood out a lot more.

Crude or disrespectful, but you would have probably stood out a lot more.

Yeah, because of you know, your your your.

Yeah, because of you know, your your your.

Attractive looks as a screw, your people would have been very wanting to chitchat to you. They would have been hey, miss, hey, miss you know like, I mean, that's.

Attractive looks as a screw, your people would have been very wanting to chitchat to you. They would have been hey, miss, hey, miss you know like, I mean, that's.

Hard, seem worse. I've seen worse. Trust me.

Hard, seem worse. I've seen worse. Trust me.

Everyone always says that, like or did you get hit on by all the inmates and all this stuff? But it wasn't really the inmates that were, you know, the ones to worry about. It was, honestly the officers that were doing all the like hitting on me and just being sex pest. I hardly had any issu shoes with inmates doing that. Like there's been times where you know, they've been like, oh, I'd love to take you out, I get not guilty, or you know, a freaking misgive me a blowd refliction like that, But that's like a handful of times.

Everyone always says that, like or did you get hit on by all the inmates and all this stuff? But it wasn't really the inmates that were, you know, the ones to worry about. It was, honestly the officers that were doing all the like hitting on me and just being sex pest. I hardly had any issu shoes with inmates doing that. Like there's been times where you know, they've been like, oh, I'd love to take you out, I get not guilty, or you know, a freaking misgive me a blowd refliction like that, But that's like a handful of times.

But it was the officers who, honestly, I.

But it was the officers who, honestly, I.

Want to know more about this, I'll really do, and let's talk about it, because no one's ever ever been on here in one hundred and fifty seven episodes and being able to and we've had some interesting guests from all walks of life. Let me tell you in positions of authority. I've had one gentleman on who was a part of the dog squad and basically like the MEU the squad sort of thing, you know, and magic I think, now, who's yeah, So you know, I got to sort of give our guests an insight, but we've never had a real deep insight from a female and what it was like for you working obviously with other correctional offices. Let's let's let's talk about that, because that's I've got very Let's go. The table's yours, mate, and this is your story, so it's a part of your journey.

Want to know more about this, I'll really do, and let's talk about it, because no one's ever ever been on here in one hundred and fifty seven episodes and being able to and we've had some interesting guests from all walks of life. Let me tell you in positions of authority. I've had one gentleman on who was a part of the dog squad and basically like the MEU the squad sort of thing, you know, and magic I think, now, who's yeah, So you know, I got to sort of give our guests an insight, but we've never had a real deep insight from a female and what it was like for you working obviously with other correctional offices. Let's let's let's talk about that, because that's I've got very Let's go. The table's yours, mate, and this is your story, so it's a part of your journey.

No, it's it's honestly, I say this all the time. And like you.

No, it's it's honestly, I say this all the time. And like you.

Said, there is some good officers, but working with them and seeing how they actually are and knowing their personal life and working with these people every single day, it's it's not the inmates you got to worry about, because at the end of the day, you know, if they don't like you, like, they'll tell you straight up.

Said, there is some good officers, but working with them and seeing how they actually are and knowing their personal life and working with these people every single day, it's it's not the inmates you got to worry about, because at the end of the day, you know, if they don't like you, like, they'll tell you straight up.

But with officers, it's different.

But with officers, it's different.

It's fake. People are honestly out to get you. The sexual harassment is insane for officers. On officers, it's disgusting, it's they're they're like they're cd their sex pest. I've been in positions where I've been punished professionally for not taking a liking to, you know, a senior office or something like that.

It's fake. People are honestly out to get you. The sexual harassment is insane for officers. On officers, it's disgusting, it's they're they're like they're cd their sex pest. I've been in positions where I've been punished professionally for not taking a liking to, you know, a senior office or something like that.

And reprimanded officially reprimanded by your work colleague who's a senior officer for you not allowing him to.

And reprimanded officially reprimanded by your work colleague who's a senior officer for you not allowing him to.

I can actually tell you what happened, so.

I can actually tell you what happened, so.

Please do it absolutely.

Please do it absolutely.

I found out through a lot of officers that he was saying, really discussing things about me in the toilets.

I found out through a lot of officers that he was saying, really discussing things about me in the toilets.

And I was a.

And I was a.

Casual, so I was a new officer, and he was known to like whenever new young because there's always the young girls that are coming in now and they're very, very vulnerable, and the seniors or any male officers really are taking advantage of that and using their power to basically you flirt with them, and if you're not, if you're not giving in, like, they make your life help. So I ended up getting told from a few other officers too, because he tried to take me under his wing when I first started, and everyone was like, you know, don't go near him. You know, he's known for this and it's not a good look. So I started to stay away from him, and he didn't like that, and there was he was punishing me a lot through work, just little things. But then there was one thing he did where there was a use of force.

Casual, so I was a new officer, and he was known to like whenever new young because there's always the young girls that are coming in now and they're very, very vulnerable, and the seniors or any male officers really are taking advantage of that and using their power to basically you flirt with them, and if you're not, if you're not giving in, like, they make your life help. So I ended up getting told from a few other officers too, because he tried to take me under his wing when I first started, and everyone was like, you know, don't go near him. You know, he's known for this and it's not a good look. So I started to stay away from him, and he didn't like that, and there was he was punishing me a lot through work, just little things. But then there was one thing he did where there was a use of force.

And when use of force upon you, no.

And when use of force upon you, no.

No no no no no no. So there was a use of force.

No no no no no no. So there was a use of force.

With an inmates, right, okay, so restrainingmate.

With an inmates, right, okay, so restrainingmate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, So when that happens, you've got strip search the master and it has to be recorded obviously, so.

Yeah, So when that happens, you've got strip search the master and it has to be recorded obviously, so.

We're taking oh yes, it does.

We're taking oh yes, it does.

Yes, So.

Yes, So.

What he did, there was so many male officers around, and he basically got the camera and he and he's a senior, and he handed it to me and he goes, you're going to film this, and I'm like, okay, I didn't realize what was going on. So I'm following, you know, the frog marching him to the cell and I'm following him, and then they start doing the strip search and I'm holding the camera here and I'm like, wait, I can't strip it.

What he did, there was so many male officers around, and he basically got the camera and he and he's a senior, and he handed it to me and he goes, you're going to film this, and I'm like, okay, I didn't realize what was going on. So I'm following, you know, the frog marching him to the cell and I'm following him, and then they start doing the strip search and I'm holding the camera here and I'm like, wait, I can't strip it.

I mean I can't watch a male strip, sir. So that's illegal, Like you're not allowed, that's correct.

I mean I can't watch a male strip, sir. So that's illegal, Like you're not allowed, that's correct.

And that's also really triggering for me too, And and like he's he's there, he knows I'm filming it. And like I said, there was so many male offices he could have asked, but he asked me, and one of the male officers came tap me on the shoulder and he's like, you can't film this.

And that's also really triggering for me too, And and like he's he's there, he knows I'm filming it. And like I said, there was so many male offices he could have asked, but he asked me, and one of the male officers came tap me on the shoulder and he's like, you can't film this.

He's like, just turn the camera off. So I turned it off.

He's like, just turn the camera off. So I turned it off.

And then he found out that happens, and I pulled him up for basically some of the stuff that he was doing to me like that was like I went into the office and I was just like, you.