THE CLINKIggy McGowan is a mindset mentor who provides individuals with the knowledge, principles, and tools they need to regain control of their minds.
In this chat, he talks about his love for Muay Thai and his battle with suicide.
Approache production.
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I'm done trying to make you uncomfortable for the record. You ain't trying to grow downer stuff for.
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Lab on me going all the way the way for the record. Ain't trying to link, No trying to waste.
Stuff for the record, for the record, for the for the record, for the record, for the record, for the record, for the record.
I don't try and make you uncomfortable.
Rack.
Welcome to the Clink twenty twenty five.
What a year this year is going to be and it's kicking off with Season seventeen of The Clink. I cannot wait a deliver the best stories that we possibly can to enable everybody out there to make the best choices in life, be the best you can be, and have your best life. This season is specifically targeting at making sure that we are able to give you the tools to better at yourself and chase your dreams. Today's guest is a wonderful guest. He is a man that I actually truly am inspired by. He is what you would call a fighter. And when I say a fighter, this man has literally jumped the ropes. He has fought the best of the best and he today teaches people how to be the best they can be. Here's a mindset coach, mindset mentor let me correct myself.
His name is Iggy McGowan. Iggy, Welcome to the Clink.
What an intro. Thanks Brand, It's great to be here, mate, Thank you mate.
I look, I'm gonna be straight to the punch here. I've gotten to know I knew of.
You for many men many years through muy Thai and the wonderful things that you have achieved, and not only that, the network of people we do have some crossover friends that are absolutely wonderful humans and doing.
Some amazing things in this world.
And I'm sure that you'll be able to share with our guests today a couple of those guests that well, a couple of those people that you actually work with that are having the wonderful success through your hard work.
And I really, I'm truly inspired.
So having you on today, I feel is something that will bring so much value to other people's lives and enabling them to realize that anything's possible with the right mindset, the right attitude, that.
We can achieve anything.
That we want to be the best we can be. I truly love the fact that you're not the silver spoon fed boy that's come through you know, all the high education classes and all that sort of stuff.
But there is a true story.
Behind Iddie McGowan, one that when I say the word fighter, you have been fighting pretty much all your life to be able to get to where you are today.
Yeah, yep, indeed. So I think that's a good analysis of my life up until this point. And yeah, there's definitely been a lot of different challenges along the way, but it's all maybe the man that I am, and that's ultimately why I'm so passionate about my work, you know, teaching people to use their mind as the powerful tool that it is rather than getting used by it. And why I'm so passionate about it is I certainly didn't always have control over my mind at all.
Yeah. Yeah, and that's what brings us here today because you are a very unique human. You do bring so much positivity to the table for others and also obviously in your actions on a daily by how you choose to live and lead by example. It's something that, as I said, is truly bring Let's take our guests back and tell them who he is and where it all began for you because, as I said, you know, life has been a fight.
Hasn't always been perfect for you?
Has it?
No, not at all. I guess a good starting point would be back near the beginning with little Iggy. What I was like as a kid, And I remember, as young as ten years old, I'd look around and life didn't make much sense to me. I didn't see any purpose in living. And so I'm fortunate to come from a good family. I'm from a big family and one of seven kids, so a family of nine. But yeah, I remember, as young as ten, that's when I first contemplated suicide. I'd look around, and I think, what's the point? We live, we get older, accumulate things, we die, And that was the repeated thought that I had, was what's the point? It was almost like I was tired from the lifetime before this. That's the only way I can sort of put it into words. I just I just didn't feel anything. The only thing that made sense to me was was martial arts and fighting. So I was always drawn to martial arts and fighting, you know, watching Bruce Lee and Van Dam movies as a kid, and that was just one thing that really made sense to me, I was always drawn to the warrior spirit and the warrior philosophy. So I'd watch those movies. I started karate when I was young, That's all they had in town. I'd always wanted to do muy thai because to me, looking at the different martial arts, muytai was the closest to real life. It was the closest to street fighting, and so that always appealed to me. Yeah, well it.
Was always more than the when you say street fighting, it's was always seen as the dirty sport, the eight limbs, you know. The Yeah, the most dangerous, lethal, dirtiest sport on the planet that nobody wanted to be publicly put out there and seen and invested into. You know, you were just sort of that was where the real, the rough of the rough would trouble and fight wouldn't.
And that's why it was so appealing, you know. To me, it was just it was the most practical and the most real. So I trained karate and then I had a boxing bag at home, and that boxing bag was my best friend. It was. I would just spend hour after hour on it, trying out different moves and things that I'd either seen on movies or in the old International Kickbox of magazines. That was just that was it?
You know?
So at school I was I was quite popular. Schoolwork came easily, sport came easily. But at the same time, I didn't feel like I connected with anyone in a real way. I didn't. I didn't feel like I really fit in. And so around fourteen fifteen.
Our family, Sorry, can I just can I just ask if something just when you say and why I want to ask this question, It's just struck me. Recently you put up a post about an orphanage in reference to your life, the orphanage and the relevance of a certain part of that structure, the building. Yeah, the caretakers I believe your family were at this particular orphanage. Can we touch on that for a little bit and how that was for you And was that something that had an impact on your way of thinking? Was it, you know, a feeling of that sort of I guess scene which you would have I'm sure sent a lot.
Of trauma and emotional processes with young persons.
And yeah, look, so that that orphanage, Saint John's Orphanage in Golden it was we were caretakers of it. So my dad was a school principal, so was a part of the parish. They were deciding what they were going to do with this old orphanage. Now it wasn't operational anymore, so it had been. It wasn't running so big, old empty building, you know, three hundred rooms, massive, and yeah, it was only meant to be short, short term. So we went and stayed there, but it ended up turning into years. Like we moved from our house into the orphanage, and that was our home. So I've got I've got great memories of the orphanage. So we loved it, you know, being a big family, being able to like spread out, you know through you know, we had different rooms. Sometimes we'd change rooms, you know, every month, my two older brothers and myself. We'd play football and cricket and things like that upstairs because the massive, big passageways, we'd like to be.
Able to play sid eerie. Was it something that made you spook a little bit because of the size.
I mean.
Instantly I was like, yeah, haunted house sort of feel.
So I'll tell you this, brent On the I stayed there the first night with my old man, and at that point it was only meant to be maybe a month, and so we're going to stay in our house and just take it in turns of sleeping there. Anyway, I went there with him for this first night and we just stayed in one room down the bottom. So it's this massive old in yeah, like a big old haunted house.
It was.
So we're in this in this front room with a little black and white TV that he plugged in. He had a mattress, and I was in this like some adult sized cot. It was this big old cot. Anyhow, So we watched a movie and then he's gone to sleep and I'm laying there, just a little kid, and I'm trying to go to sleep. And then it's around midnight and I hear this this sound and it was help, Help, It was. I swear to this day it was the sound of a young kid screaming for help. And I was there.
I have no doubt.
After a few minutes, I'm like, I'm like, Dad, Dad, trying to wake him in. He sleeps heavy, and my dad he's like, what is it? What is it? I said, can you hear that? He goes it's a tom cat and goes back to sleep. But he didn't even listen to it, but anyway, I swear to this day. So once we left there the following day, I was like, I do not want to go to that place, no way like that. That was a ghost of a little kid.
That's how old was it.
How I looked, And like you talk about Golden so we're talking about, you know, a historical town. And for those that don't know Goldben, it's got some cooh some history, both good, bad and ugly, and it is this. It can be a very scary place, but a beautiful place. Country is phenomenal down yeah.
Very very cold, yeah, very eerie, and to be in such And this is why I just wanted to touch on it, because it captured me in your short post, not only about why and the purpose of the post.
Which you know, I'll allow you to continue that conversation, but just that grab of you know, the story and where it was and what it was, and I instantly just had my hairs on my arm stand up. Especially being a child that grew up in foster care. I couldn't help but think of some of the atrocities that could have occurred in there, you know, with history and the things, and to me instantly. Being a spiritual man also, I couldn't help but think, surely there's got to be more to this.
And so there were like we made it, we made it great. Like while we were there, it was you know, as I said, many really fond memories of that place growing up in saying that there were some areas that we just didn't go like we it was our home for years, but there were some areas like that we'd once we'd been to it. There was just a dark energy in that room. There was just undoubtedly some horrific things happened in that building. And you know, in the time that we were living there, we had a big german shepherd truty. She was out in the front on a big long chain. And every now and then, you know, it could be once a month actually, we'd there'd be someone walking around, someone that looked you know, looked quite dodgy, and so the dog would be barking a lot. We'd see them wandering around outside, so we'd head out there. I'd go with Mum and she'd say, oh, here you going, can we help you? And they'd be like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, there's oh what is it? And they're like, oh, I used to live here as a kid who grew up here and mum, and Mum's very welcoming and lovely to anyone, and she'd say, she'd say, oh, would you would you like to come in? No? No, no, no thanks, no thanks. No one ever wanted to come in. And you could just see these people were very broken people. They were you could just tell. They never shared any of their story, and it was I think that they came to make peace with well, try and make peace with their past, and that happened often, so you know, we did get some insight into that sort of effect that it had had on different people that had lived there, you know, and we made the most of it. There were some areas that we just we would just stay away from just because it wasn't it wasn't pleasant, but everything else was great, you know. And what I shared in that post was I guess that was around that age of ten, you know, and I had a room at one point up on the second story and it was a big statue of Saint John and I could open up my window and I'd climb out onto the ledge. And this is back when I started first contemplating my suicide at ten, So I'd stand there next to Saint John and I'd just lean forward and just play with the balance and think, all I've got to do is just fall forward and I can end it, and it would bring me some peace, just just playing with that. Yeah, So that was that was what I shared in that post. But there were definitely lots of great memories as well. That was just always going on in the background with myself. Was I just I was, if anything, just going through the motions. You know, I'd play sport, I'd do well reasonably well with school without really trying. But in the background there was still just this I really don't care if I die.
Why do you feel that you carried that suicidality.
At that young age. Well, I didn't contemplate it too much, meaning as in the reason why or anything.
To me.
I didn't know any different. That was just there was just a level of numbness there. And it wasn't until many years later once I found fighting, started fighting in the ring. Then outside of that, there was destruction that I was drawn towards. I was drawn toward the criminal world and putting myself in these situations that others would consider to be very dangerous or considered to be life threatening and in those situations I would thrive, meaning that it wasn't any extreme high, but I would feel I'm not dead. And it's the same with when we're talking about you know, whether it's skydiving or fighting in the ring, whatever it is, I will just say it now. So ultimately what it is, and you said it yourself, it's about presence. And it took me many many years before I finally realized this. It was that it was being forced into the present moment, and so when we're present or there's no problems, that's where peace is. And any of these situations, whether it was fighting in the ring or being in these dangerous situations, it was that's when I felt peace. That's when there wasn't any you know, I need to kill myself. It was there was a level of peace there and I was dependent on those situations. If I wasn't in the ring fighting, then I was in the criminal world. You doing this and that, because it would if you're not present when you're fighting, you'll get smashed, you'll get knocked out. If you're not present when you're going into these other situations, you'll get dead. It's that simple. So it was a forcing into the present moment, and that was I didn't realize this at the time, but that's what I was drawn to because I wanted I always just wanted that balance. I wanted to feel peace. That's all I was looking for. But there was just this heavy dependency on these extreme things in order to find that. So it wasn't until again, after years of destruction and then an actual suicide attempt at twenty one, that I actually learned how to cultivate presence without being dependent on anything outside of me, and to be able to enjoy the simplest of things. So now I'm not dependent. Yeah, sure, I'll still enjoy a skydive or adventure.
Come on, mate, don't sit there and watch you. You are an adrenaline junkie. You've got to have that hit.
I love it. But this is the funny thing is, Look.
You've done some really cool ship.
I absolutely do love it, but but there isn't that that dependency there. Like I can enjoy sitting out in nature. You know, on weekends, I sit and I can sit and stare at a tree for hours, and I can experience that same level of fulfillment and peace as when you jumping out of a plane or doing those other things.
Yeah, look, it's funny, you know when you put it in perspective like that, and I do and can relate very very much as as you're aware of my background. It's you know, I not so long ago had to chat with with somebody, and I'm anal on punctuality. I'll always be there earlier than the person I meeting. And why is because here just it's just me, I'll be there. I'll know we're left right up, soide down inside out. I have it all in my head pre scanned and know exactly who's around me and what for prior to you and I are coming together. And I lived my life in that manner and the way I look at it is because of the way that I obviously didn't really have a choice growing up, you know, from the sexual abuse to living on the streets. Awareness was massive, you know, so for me, everything was about the adrenaline.
That's what kept me going. You know that that sleeping in somewhere very vulnerable at night.
You know you're you're not sleeping, but you're sleeping, you know, like putting yourself in harm's way or you know, just put your hand up to be somewhere where you know it could be very much deep the last moment, But here we are today, you know, as fathers, leaders in what we're doing, and good humans all around.
We tried to be on our best at our worst times even and we're able to process this.
And I think that you know having you on today, and I look forward to getting deeper into the conversation because I think that's very relevant of where you've come from to who you are today and why. And I feel that and I don't want to sort of ostracize too much, but people like us, if I can relate to that, are drawn to each other.
If that makes sense.
I know that I could, and I have done before, reach out to you, seek help from you, seek advice from you.
Why, because you.
Have lived And that to me is massively important in what we try and achieve here through our platform, is having people who can deliver their true experiences that have been lived.
They then help others.
Yeah, and I really appreciate the opportunity, so I know that that is what you're about. You said that you'd notice that it's really only in recent years that I shared bits and pieces to do with my story, and it's a great observation. It's very deliberate in what I've done. I've waited over a decade before sharing anything about my story and for a reason, and that reason is it's about example. You know. I wanted to let my transformation, I wanted to let my presence, my being speak for itself, rather than I see often with people, they'll start making some change and next thing they want to be a coach, want to be a teacher and start telling other people. And that's just not how I braved myself. So my full focus was on just living it, living it and just being the example. And I had numerous people over the years, this last ten twelve years that would reach out and want to do something with me. You want to do a podcast, want to do this, and I was like, not right now, and again, to really just have that consistency and that example and let my life be the teaching. And that's really my focus. Is that still However, over these last couple of years, I thought, no, now is the time for the sake of connection, for the sake of people knowing that they're not alone. I know that when I share parts of my story on what I come from I'll have people that will contact me and say I thought I was alone. I never knew that, you know, and it gives me hope that you can do it now. I've always shared everything, being completely open with anyone that works with me one on one or the corporate groups. Always I'm an open book. And that's why the people that come and work with me, this has been their feedback over the years, is you live it? You know hoax exactly?
You know hoax, and I want to stress that you know.
Look and once again, look, this is a no bullshit podcast, So let's just talk talk to facts, you know, like I have a real issue with and at nearly fifty years of age, I think I've lived. I lived several lives, to be honest with you, and I am here for a purpose as yourself and many of us that had lived experience. And this is no discredit to anybody, but I'm going to call it out. You know, we see these influenced type life coaches that have lived twenty minutes gone and studied, educated themselves, found a platform and look pretty and got all the gear and well on the you know, and it all looks presentable, it all looks great, but you're full of shit. You really haven't lived fuck all, and you know that to me, I can't help. And I know I don't let it consume me because it's their journey. But do I attract to it and pay attentions. I'm big on everybody has something to do. There's a message in every conversation. Y. You know, it doesn't matter who we are, but if we're going to talk about someone like yourself who has the skill set, has lived, it can help people through some of the most horrific and troublesome times and also some of the most rewarding times, you know, being on the world stage lifting up trophies and being you know, commended for the world's best in what they do, mate the proofs there, so you know, like what you do inspires me and it really is something that I'm honored to have you on here because of that reason.
And I just, yeah, I find it really hard getting that connection.
In my own mind with so many people today because they just had this I don't even know the word for it.
And as I said, I'm not going.
To go, you know, putting anyone down, and that's not what this is about. I like men like ourselves and women that are just straight down the line, no bullshit and have lived it.
That to me is what we're about.
Yeah, and you know what, and so I think that significance is a big driving force of you know why there are some of these things that you gave examples of. I just keep the focus on my intention, what I'm here to do, and I just thought it was an interesting observation of yours, which it was spot on. But now, as I said, over the last couple of years, I find that it is time to share it more. As I said, I've always shared it with anyone that I work with, but to be able to put it out there online because there's new people always coming across my content, and I just want to be able to share with people my underlying main message, which is if I can do it, so can you. That's the thing. And if I'm not special, anything I've been able to do, you can do it. Also, if you accept responsibility and you commit to the process, you can absolutely turn everything around and come back from rock bottom.
And I love that and I think sometimes, you know, you really do have to hit rock bottom to realize that life is great and that we can achieve whatever we put ourselves out there to desire, whether it be through you know, hard work or just.
Being a good human and being a family pan, a woman.
A father.
You know, it's it's endless and I feel that so many people out there today and look, it's okay because we've both been there, and I feel that, you know, we give up sometimes too easy. I mean, it's not in this to give up, but I have been. I've given up on things in the past until learning that giving up is not an option. You know, finding a way through or around it is how we need to work with it rather than to coming to the fact that I can't or it won't. Is this is a language that we need to really start to correct. And I feel that if we're able to inspire others through what we're doing here today and giving people those tools. You know, it doesn't matter where you are and what stage in life, whether you're younger and you're just testing the waters, whether you're deep in the shit, or whether you're on the back end of it, you know, looking for that light and wanting to just try and make your life better. Yeah, you know, these tools, if you will, are tools that everybody can use.
Yep, exactly and just being able to notice an opportunity and act on it, knowing that change is possible, you know. I know that, say, even back then, as that young kid that was in Goldwen that then an opportunity presented, which was that our family was going to relocate to Wogger. My dad had gotten a job opportunity there. So the family is going to pack up and move. And to me, I didn't care that it meant having to start, you know, at a new school and having to build friends again. None of that mattered to me. I was like, this is my opportunity to find a Muay Thai trainer. I might find one bigger town. You know, there's a chance. So once we moved that in that first few days, once my mum got a chance, she ran me around town all day long. And I've been through the yellow pages back when they had yellow pages, and I looked at it that said for exactly, looked up, looked up any anywhere where there might be a muy Thai gym or trainer. I couldn't see anything. They had kickboxing, judo, not kickboxing, The had karate, judo, taekwondo, you name it. But I couldn't see anything listed, but she drove me around all day long. We went to every PC y C, every gym. After the whole day, we finally pulled up at the last gym. We've been everywhere in town all day and she said, look done and this will have to be the last place. I said, okay. I went in. It was called Workout Gym in Wagga. As I get up near the counter, I see a business card that says boxing, kickboxing, muay Thai, Jason Lightning Lee, Maximum Impact.
And this is back like this is this is a long time ago.
So for those that don't know mouytai, like we said earlier, it wasn't something that you would find just everywhere. You could go to the pcyse and throw on the gloves and there was plenty of boxes and plenty of people that will have a crack yep. But moy Thai for what it is, it was. It was a drop in the ocean for where we are.
Yeah, it wasn't exactly made. And so I got this business card and I went back out and I felt like Charlie and the Chocolate Factor with the Golden ticket. I was like, I found it. I found it, and I got in the car and I was like, oh good, and then so that was it. I gave Jason a call and started training with him, you know, the next week, and to me, I was like this, this is it, Like I finally met someone. This is the thing. When I met my trainer, Jason, who ended up being an older brother figure and best friend, it was like meeting someone that finally understood me. Before that, I'd felt like I was an alien. I didn't think anyone understood me at all. I didn't connect with anyone. And then with him, I was like, he gets me and I get him, and I just loved it. I'd train four hours a day, two hours in the morning, two hours after school. Started fighting a year later at sixteen, and at that time they only had like they had weight division. I never saw anyone else my age or even close to my age on the circuit. It was on these shows. It was just men, and I loved it for that reason. I think that it's really good these days that they have all these different avenues into the sport. You can get matched up around other kids your age. I think that's all great. However, I wouldn't change it for the world. How I was able to come up. I mean I'd be standing in there looking across the ring at this tattooed up man and then I'd knock him out. And I would be like, yes, knocking men out.
But what about the giant you ended up fighting years lady? Oh yeah, that just puts it all in perspective. I can't wait for you to share that little moment, because for everybody that's listening, when Iggy speaks about fighting men and being a younger, I guess adolescent, it really did come into play in your whole.
Scripture, It really did, you know. I always loved that taking on the greater challenge and doing the things that others didn't want to do, the things that people feared. I'd look at that and I'd go, Yep, that's for me. That's for me. So we will come to that one. I guess when when when training with Jason, it was that was really the foundation of my mindset still to this day, meaning the discipline, the conditioning, the doing the hard thing and really just having control over that voice in the head and not giving up just putting in the work. I mean, the training with him was extreme, where As I said, it's like four hours a day training. But he was one hundred and ten kilos, like ripped machine, and yourself exactly looked exactly like you. I was just about to say that, and yeah and yeah, humble anyway, And so when sparring at the time, at that age, I was I was fighting at sixty nine kilos and he's one hundred and ten and when sparring, he he wouldn't hold back, and it was it was really just about survival. But what it did was I just knew that sparring him, I could walk through people my weight if I could take the shots that he was trying and give it back, then when it got in against anyone my weight, bank it's fine, they can't hurt me. It can't hurt me. And that was something that because to me, that was my first real training with muy Thai with fighting, I just thought that's just what you had to do, like it was to me, that was the norm. It wasn't until years later that I found out the extreme nature of the training that we did. I mean we had you know, we've got the raft based down there in wag We had some says guys come and do some training with us one time, and after like two days. They just said that's sick, and not cool sick. They said, that's sick. They said, that's what you're what you're going through, what you'll be that's harder than the training that we've done. And we'd have these other you know, so called hard men from town that had come and do some you know, a couple of days training with us here and there, and that drop off. No one would stick with him, whereas I wouldn't let him break me. And you know, many years later he said to me, the things I used to set for you, he said, I I was like, I'd stay up at night and draw it all up and I'd think, this will fucking do it, and he goes.
And then it was all Strategici. It was like the art of war, the art of wards.
Are breaking him the gown exactly, and you just kept doing everything and so anyway, but but look, it was I'm really grateful for for those years. Had a lot of success in a short amount of time, a lot of fights over a couple of years, won a couple of titles, and when training and when fighting in camp, I felt on track. I wasn't thinking about killing myself. I was I had a sense of purpose and that piece, that level of peace because I was present often because I'm constantly training, constantly hard, sparring, constantly fighting, so I'm present and when present, there's no problems. So that was all good and well. However, there is, of course the crossover with the criminal world that's always been there with the fight scene, and I was drawn to it. So if there was a break in between fights, you know, I started doing some jobs in that world, whether I was dealing debt, collecting, standing over people. It just came naturally, if you could.
Say, when hand in hand, it really did.
And so so that was that, And and after a couple of years of fighting, I felt like a burned out racehorse because I'd just been doing one after the other after the other, and it was all very good and they were through, you know, those years of sixteen seventeen, eight a nineteen, So I felt like I'd missed out on a lot of different things with you know, making sacrificing of different school parties and all of that. So I made up for it. I had some time off fighting and went heavily into partying, you know, raves and whatnot. And there was there's destruction.
Coming along with that, lots of the hangers in good times.
There definitely was what it was. Yeah, there was. There was a lot of And what I didn't realize at the time was that it was self medicating. You know, That's that's ultimately what it was, because it's not like I would feel any any extreme high again, it was just that same that level of peace that I got from fighting, but I was doing it in this destructive way.
Yeah, do you know what go back then, and I think this is relevant to what you're saying. We didn't look at it or know of it being self medicating. It was just what we did.
It was a good time.
It was just you know, like I remember the underground Racene, especially in Sydney.
It was epic, you know, like.
Seeing DJ's play on two decks and three decks for the first time. Like I mean, people wouldn't even know what we're talking about, because I don't even think that you know, that that would even phase someone today to see George Vegas playing on two Dixon Peewee.
Decks, Pewey Ferris and and sneaking into these underground Redfern and Ultimow And remember he used to have the double O double five number, and you'd be in the city and you have to go to the public telephone and everybody'd have this number and the window would.
Be like an hour for a location and he'd punch it in the next minute to be like a hundred taxis up Oxford Street and all our way through the city. And if he just trains and that was that was just amazing.
And yes, they were the best mdm A pills. You will have it. If you didn't have them, you'll never have him again, So suck over.
But those raves wasn't about self medicating.
It was it was a good time.
Yeah, yeah, it was, and I think that like I remember as you were saying some of that. I remember, you know, after winning a title fight in Sydney, and when we were training it was everything was one hundred percent extreme discipline. There was no drinking, no mucking around. But then it was train hard, party hard. So we'd have that fight, camp, have the fight, and then we'd have a two day bender so to be going out in the cross. And I remember one great rave was Plastic, this club underground and amazing and so really great. Yeah, so I remember in the cross after having a fight and then going out for a couple of days in the cross and they'd have underground club plastic awesome rave and it was it was really it was all great fun. And to know, quite a young guy, I was, I was like, look at this world, this is unreal. But then as soon as we got back to town, be straight back into Camp one hundred, no mucking around, just everything about fighting again. So that was all really good and well when I was training and fighting. But then, as I said, after feeling burned out after having a lot of fights, then had that time out of the ring and that's where things started going downhill. And quite quickly I was, you know, I was doing a lot of this and that, and things in town were getting very hot. So I moved over to Canberra for about nine months and worked over their security at the American embassy and in a couple of hotels, and then back in Waga, Jason ended up getting put inside. He was done for some firearm stuff and some home invasion, tying up some drug dealers, that sort of thing. And I, after being in in Canberra for that time, I thought, you know what, I really need to get my act together. I really need to straighten out. So I ended up setting myself then to ASRock. I moved up to as Rock for six months and worked in the resort there. I wanted to get I wanted to get my people skills back, and obviously wanted to be not using any drugs. So went up there and just committed to just working training. So that was all really good. Then after being there in airs Rock, I went back to Wogga. I worked in a call center, so call center and was back in the room. Yeah, the phone, that's right, that's right.
I actually could be into that.
I was great at it, you know. I had a great time there. It was to me, it was it was all fun and games. Remember I'll see this. There were so many people that took it way too seriously. I'd see these these older women around my mum's age, who they would be in tears because it was an inbound center, so customers would call up and be complaining about their bill and whatnot. And some people they're just rude, aren't they. So you'd get these people calling up being very aggressive, complaining and I'd see these women crying and I'm thinking it's just someone on the end of the phone. Meanwhile, I'd have quite a bit of fun with it. And if someone called up and they had an attitude, I'd say, okay, well, i'd I'd like to help you with that, sir. Let me just get into your account. Can I be your password?
Please?
And they would go password or didn't think I had a password, and then so they'd ratle off, rat a off five different passwords and I'm like, no, sorry, we don't have that here. There must be another way into the account. What I said, okay, there is. I can ask a few quest So what type of car do you drive? How would you know that? And I said, sir, we're Telstra, we know everything. And he'd be like, it's a red Ford And I'm like, okay, we're getting closer. Now what type of fuel do you run?
On?
Oh?
Come on, how would you I'm like, sir, I'm trying to get into the account. He's like it's unleaded, and I'm like okay, and where is? And then I'd end up, yeah, anyway, end up just dropping the call and think someone else can handle this. But anyway, I called Carl Baron one time, so this will then move on. But back then he was on the Football Show. Was back when he was like first hitting the scene. And I don't know if you remember him being on the Footy Show.
But absolutely every Thursday night.
And yeah, So because he'd been on there, he came to mind and I thought, I can look up anyone's you know, anyone's address, anyone's fine number on here. So I've started looking up some famous people and I'm like, oh, Carl Baron great and a mate on the other side of the call center used to know how to how to jump on my call so we could hear each other talking to someone. So I'll give him the wave and he jumps on and I'll call Carl and Carl answers. Hey, Carl, He's like, who's this? You can tell us a joke? And he's like, what, how'd you get this number? Who is He hung up. I call him back and he goes, who is it? How'd you get this number? I'm like, listen, Carl, just tell me joke, right, I said, let's tell stra if you change your number, if you change your number, I'll find your number, right, Just tell me one joke anyway, Why I did that? But one of his jokes was one of his jokes was that people would always come up to him as if he was some sort of vending machine on the street and say, tell us a joke. So that's why I thought that'd be funny. Anyhow, I did do a lot of work while I was there as well. Yeah, that was the call, and I was back in the ring, had some boxing fights and then I had a knee reconstruction, so my knee blew out. I was unloading a truck, knee dislocated, and my focus was just on getting back into the ring because if I was in the ring, if I was fighting, then I was on track. So when that knee went, it was a long road of having that operation. So outside of that, I was still self medicating and I didn't want to go back to destruction, you know. I didn't want things to go really off track. So then my girlfriend and I at the time moved to Sydney, and once I was up there, then I started glazing on sites with the focus of getting back into the ring. However, I was in a pretty dark place because I'd been out of the ring after that knee operation. The relationship end up came to an end, and work was drying up in Sydney and I was just in a dark place. I mean, I'd pretty much lived in darkness up until this point. I was twenty one at this age, but at this point it was very dark. And you know, I'd contemplated suicide so many times from the age of ten, but this time I thought, you know what, I'm done. I am done. So i'd made my mind up. One night, I'd drunk a bottle of tequila, I'd had a handful of sleeping tablets. I'd rigged up the car in a backstreet in Kujie and I went out and I was gassing myself in the car, just waiting to go for that big sleep. And then my phone rung. And now I didn't know I had a phone on me, but it was. I had a phone in my pocket, a little nockia, and I've fumbled around, I've got it and I've pulled it out and I looked at it and it said Mum. Now, I had an agreement with my mum from years earlier that i'd always answer her call. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have answered. But I've looked at it.
Now.
This agreement came about because I'd be out doing this and that, and if Mum called, I used to not want to answer because I knew that what I was doing wasn't disappo, wasn't the correct thing exactly. I had shame around what I was doing. I could have been most likely was off my head, could have just done a job, could have just bashed someone. And then I didn't want to answer the phone. So I said to Mum. She said, why don't you answer? I said, because I'm embarrassed, Mum. And she said, look, I can't sleep. I'm worried if you don't answer, I can't sleep. I said, well, but if you ask what I'm doing, she said, I won't ask. All I will do is I'll only ask are you okay? And if you say yes, then I can get to sleep. And I said, okay, I promise you I will always answer. And I kept that promise, and so I could be out doing this and that if Mom called, i'd answer, hey mom. Others around me like you're mad? Is that your mum? And I'm like, good on your mom, I'm all good, have a good sleep, mum. So anyway, jump forward to this, when I'm in the car and I see it, I think I've got to answer, and I think I've just got to get this call over and done with and then I'll continue on with what I was doing. I answer and it was my dad calling off my mum's phone. And I hadn't spoken to him or anyone in a few months. I distanced myself from everyone. Didn't feel like I had anything good to share. That's a part of the blackness. And when I answered, he was just being so lovely. He was just right from the get goes like, okay, mate, mate, I've got a day off tomorrow and I'm coming to see you. They lived in a town six hours away. I'm in Sydney there in Waga. And I said, no, no, not tomorrow, don't don't come tomorrow. He goes, yeah, mate, mate, I've got the day off. I've already I've reversed the car in, I've already fueled up. I'm going to be on the road early, mate, going to be there tomorrow, really looking forward to it. Anyway. He wouldn't take no for an answer, and I'm like, what about next week, No, mate, mate, I'm going to be there. You're going to be there, okay, mate, I said, yep. I hung up the phone and I just thought I can't have my dad show up and find my dead body. So that put a stop to my plan, and I thought I broke down. Once I hung up, I broke down. I turned the car off, and I thought, I've got to get this visit over and done with tomorrow and then I'll do it. So I stumbled upstairs, passed out on the bed, wake up the next morning like a zombie, to the phone ringing. He says that he's in town. So I go and meet him in Waterloo. And when I get there, then my brother, who again I hadn't talked to him in maybe six months, one of my older brothers, wrath. He jumped out from the passenger side of the car. He's like, hey, just they're both just been so lovely and they end up saying, look, mate, we actually came up here to take your home. We didn't just come for a visit. We want you to come home, mate, come be around people that love you. And to me it felt like a backward step. I was like, no, no, you know, I'm picking up some work here and there, and they're like, mate, come back be around people love you. You can always come back up here again. They wouldn't take no for an answer, and I was in no place to really argue, so we packed up everything and headed back to wager Yeah that neck. That night, I was sitting with my mum at the kitchen table at their place, just her and I, and she said, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to please tell me the truth. I said, what's that, Mum? She said, what were you doing last night? I said, please don't ask me that, Mom, don't ask me that. She said, what were you doing last night? I said, I was killing myself, Mum, And the look on her face. She's a very stoic woman. I can count on one hand still to this day the times I've seen Mama cry. One was where my older sister passed away and she immediately welled up and she said, if you did that, it would end me. And that was the first time I realized the impact that it would actually have. Before that, I one hundred percent thought I was doing the best thing for everyone. I could not see another way. I had myself convinced this is the only option and this is the best thing for everyone. So seeing that reaction with Mum was like a big slack in the face. That woke me up, and I said I'm sorry, mum. I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. I'm sorry, I'll do whatever it takes. Suicide won't be an option again. And that's really where my rebuild started. Up until that point, it had always been like the ace up my sleeve. It was no matter what, I could always just kill myself. So then when making this promise that that wasn't an option anymore, well, it's like burning the boats, isn't it. It's like, okay, well, I've got to somehow make things better. So I started studying the mind, doing courses, I spoke with psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, you name it. And I just took things and I applied it, trying to get control over my mind, trying to make things better. And that's really where my heavy focus on learning how to control the mind begun.
It's a long journey.
It's a really, really long journey.
Brother, that's yeah.
Wow, Well, I'm sorry, I'm a little bit.
I've never had that relationship with a mum, so I can only.
Take on how your mum would feel. Why I've never had my mom, So for me, it's just that's life. But I've always appreciated every one of my mate's mums and to hear you speak in that way and then know that you know it's just yeah, it's just not me for six you know, like wow.
That concludes Part one of Brand's chat with Iggy McGown.
In part two, we'll hear more about his recovery, his life with muy Thai, and his new role as a mindset man.
Don't try and make your off the book for the record. You ain't trying to grow that stuff for your pride for the record, lab on me going all the way for the record. Ain't trying to link, No, trying to waste.
Stop for the record, for the record. H for the for the record, for the record, for the record, for the record.
H m hmmmmmm.
