The Christian O’Connell ShowThere’s only one Patrina Jones. Newsreader, mother, the Queen of Kmart. She is an absolute superstar of Melbourne radio and every time I turn on her mic I’m excited and terrified in the best possible way about what she’s going to say. Here’s just a few of our favourite Patsy moments.
Christ Yeah, welcome friends to the Christian O'Connell show podcast.
All right, So yesterday we were reminded our sales basically that Patsy is a serial complainer.
Even on a day well even on a day off sick.
On Monday, managed to read off three complaints and day off sick where she apparently couldn't hear a thing, still managed to read off not one, not two, but.
Three people email.
No, you're quite right, we don't know, because there's a natural way of you being in the world. So yes, I said, why don't you balance it out and fire off three notes of praise?
And you did that yesterday.
I've got the notes you sent off here, these lovely emails you sent to three different organizations. And if you're a cape Patsy, ok, if I read these out?
Was it hard to do? You know? You know what?
Check?
It was actually quite cathartic. I felt very good with myself at.
The end of the day.
All right, tell me about Emma as a champion.
Oh, Emma, Emma works at our local council. And I did cop a parking fine I a Christmas.
So you haven't paid it? Well special treatment.
I was in Chris's car and so okay.
Let me just cut to the chase and this the email begins, this WILLI, these are quite She had enough layer on fig Joe. This is how it opens mail at Wyndham vic dot God that a youth impation. Someone's just gonna let get this today, Willie Wonka. No hello, by the way, Willie Wonka said it best when he exclaimed, and so shines a good deed in a weary world.
One of my favorite line.
I wanted to reach how and compliment one of your phone operators, Emma, whom I had the pleasure of talking to you today. Mine was a barking infringement inquiry and she must get these sorts of issues on a daily basis. But was very diligent and patient and got to the bottom of my issue, subjays, I don't want to pay it.
No, it wasn't the case.
At all with Wyndham City, Australia's biggest growth corridor. Oh no, it's a silicon valley, is absolutely it is municipality.
Is it safe vans with people like?
Correct? When it is yep.
Out West is the country's biggest growth corridor, has been for a number of years.
Have you passed on my thanks Patrician Newman. And then we go to another one, A word of appreciation service at the reject shop dot com dot au.
Oh that's my new favorite shot.
Hi there, I just want to take no no movie quote for them. They didn't get her off a parking fine. Hi there, I just wanted to take time out of my day. Oh no, we're all busy.
We're all busy, and you know that this is how important is.
Just want to be a.
Hi there, just want to take time of my day to highlight one of the employees and commend the customer service. I visited your signs store in Whereabit Senate Store Street in Whereby around twelve thirty pm today and the young checkout operator was very cheerful and help me with a trio scrub down.
I could find them, I.
Couldn't find them. A bargain of my and fourteen dollars.
For the pack three jack for fourteen bucks.
That is good. In fact, he has served me before and as a lovely demeanor.
He does.
Young missus Robinson cheerful graduate.
Yeah you're a sweet young man. Oh kid.
Anyway, I wanted to say you are lucky to have him I'd love to have him around my property, not like a right day Petrinia knew.
And then we get to this one big.
Great lovely he met the brief exact and they're all relatable.
These are everyday experiences that any one of our listeners could be going, Yeah, I know what that's like.
I'm buying a scrub, I'm trying to get off a parking fine. And then we go to.
One of the premiere hotels in Melbourne where Patsy is barely a day she's not there, brown nosing Andre the manager. Well, there we go, Andre, who is a great friend of the Bord of this show, and the lamb is loving.
We love going there right.
And me just get my nose deeper up your backsize LENDERI air.
Andre, hoping you and your family had lovely Christmas and New Year.
The hotel is bustling, yes.
Amid the tennis and just says here amid the tennis open, even though we're doing a big thing with them, The AO, which they paid a fortune to be a show she did.
With all the plays are staying there.
Christian has challenged me to write three meals of praise today the cone.
If I had my are you never hear from me again? That's next time. I want a free slap.
Up lunches today, that's a great opportunity to thank you for our recent stay mates. Rates felt like a home away from home, and I wanted to particularly highlight.
Here we go a whole letter. Absolutely, it feels like an oscar speech.
Jeffrey for valet parking my car again, so real, so relatable, but.
Putting a text.
He's like the big headhuncher of the Asia Pacific and I turned up and here he is doing the car.
Put the Asia Pacific car.
He's the ma another one he emails Pacific.
It's like Andre's boss. And he was just like one of the commoners in the car.
So the commonis did the cars.
I thought that was very for.
Valet parking, Michael.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your Pacific Asia vice president put in brackets working cars some pim.
How did you.
Meet him? Add of lunch there before.
Jeffrey parking cars? Stop it Jeffrey just like one of the commoners. Yeah, one of the old mumblies to do this.
What about Katrina for being so bright and cagey showing us to our table and recommending some activities for the days.
She was very sweet.
Let's go to the Spa. Angel Angel in the Spa. For the most.
She was brilliant. Julian who Julian the maintenance boy.
Julian, No, he saved my life.
Julian who rescued my wedding ring from the faucet was actually the train a coup of more prosecco at the lunch. Were you trying to get the wedding ring offs? You can go back and see that, boy, Jeffrey, get the car ready.
My engagement ring went down the plug. I thought I've lost it forever, mate, Julian.
Julian rescued my wedding from the four They when they wave you off, they.
Just go Thank god.
There's at least six people involved in maintaining your over Nice.
You've got the se Asia Regional VB.
Get out, this is coming now, Parker car Please, we only roasted on that show.
I know you'll pass mys onto the team. Thank you, and they're just not betweening you mean, please call me.
Pats Well, Patsy, ither one enjoyed your notes of praise is back next week.
This is a regular thing now, Patsy Okay, back next.
Week The Christian Connell Show podcast.
We want to hear about your weekend and six words.
And Christian.
Using six words or less telling about your week.
Did you kite surfall laid down some term?
Huh if you.
Did, plex would be an awe inlaid some turf kite surfing. Someone just texting saying, perfect fluffy scrambled eggs. So that's what you guys want? We do. It's a fluff you want, she said, use a higher sided frying pan. You know, you get some that quite flat on. Maybe get some of the like it's like a bigger No, imagine a lovely and lily on a pond.
It's like a lily.
I don't find the walls on a lily very high.
Oh no they are. They're like two hands clasps.
It's anyway he sided frying pan and you put four inches of water in there. Oh that's too much that She makes me feel sick. That's how someone's chunning into my beautiful fluffy were swimming in water? No no, no, no, no, Catherine, sorry, you have to be the disagree peratsy.
What's your six week world weekend? What do you get to this.
Weekend Rhino's dose for the Love God. I spoke on the show Friday.
Morning drugging him again for games on a Saturday night.
I was talking Friday morning about how you yeah good, good, good good.
I know some doctor still stuck up there.
You know here I am sharing again.
Then we thought well by next week.
The guy ropes got stuck.
Worry guys, we never leave a man behind. Hello in there, Christians back passage.
We just have to win. Poos your out guys making the documentaries.
He's got a weird, weird bow in that.
Does he need this team disgusting national guy. Probably the managerial job. He doesn't weird.
Bow No, he has, and it happened last time, and we forgot.
Got a little king to the right or left, and any outy bits.
Of it like.
Are like no man's land, like they can't get to it with the camera, So he has to have this extra procedure to be accessible so that can check all of it. So it must be I don't.
Know, Boon Rover landing up the buggy or something where they got ai there anyway, the craft.
Or I have been accused of over sharing, so he has no idea something.
Guilty my husband's got a weak colon.
He's got no man's land, probably going.
Through his PowerPoint presentation he's got for some boardroom today at midday.
You their colan side fine.
I picked him up on Friday and he got in the car and the first thing he said was not how he went or how are you? It was like, did you talk about.
My colonoscopy on the show this morning? I thought, we.
Chris, you know your wife did?
I said, oh what?
Am I min of? Why?
And he said, just as I was about to go under, the uneathist leaned over and said, I'm going to give you a rhinos dose.
Because you're the love.
God thinks you don't want to anyone whispering in your ear, let alone Underneatheist.
It was terrified, I'm going to give you what do you say? I'm going to give you a.
Rhinos Remember he needs more than double them.
You wouldn't go down.
Just as you're like counting, counting back was being give you a high dose. I love God. I know you can also know this. You'll get some loving Get the hoist five sleepy not damn.
Patrina is going to.
How many times? And we all waved to the Sconstrina.
Christian O'Connell show podcast.
Now, most of us know someone who is a order than These people are normally crazed, there's something wrong with them. How the cultures call them Banshee's or Harrodon's. And Patsy is one of these people. So we asked Patsy yesterday after just hearing how much random junk was in her garage, to do an actual garage order and how big is the list? I think there's at least sixty different separate things here.
I didn't even finish because I'd still be there now, like going through stuff.
I mean, just some of the stuff here.
One giant Barbie doll house, yes, one Barbie jet, one Barbie kampavan. Are you running Melbourne Barbie View Museum? One Barbie car. The kid is a teenager.
Now she's outgrowing Barbie.
Do you reckon outdoor chairs? Times?
Three fold? All patio chair, one egg chairs. That's five separate chairs, two trestle tables.
What's the chair like out of men in blow No, you know, like the swinging age chair comes out in the summer, but in the winter when it's wish and it goes in the garage.
One box of cassette tapes. What's on them?
I know it's all Chriss old Metallico tapes.
Don't tell lasts and the band then they put people in prison. If you were legally home recording their stuff on.
That stuff, you won't part with them.
Four boxes of Highland dancing trophies. You've got four boxes.
Really, I don't know what to do with them.
One box of real to real, real to rivers. How audio and film used to be right real to reals with my early radio gear on it?
Is this for feature museums or something?
It's probably all oxidized now this week in music.
I don't know whether these two are just next to each other by chance. But one rage against the menopause photo wall three meters by three meters.
One boxing bag.
Is that for when the rage against the menopause is so much you start waiting on the bag. Chris is menopause are Rocky Balboa?
How long has you been boxing for?
Well, Jack, there's a story.
So he tried to put this thing up on a hook on the roof, and the hook he punched at once and it fell on top of the car.
That's the power of Chris. He's a big dude.
He winds up that you know that haymaker. The office works overhand right now, that's it is game over, lights out, here's sleep you all right now, Patsy. There is a lot of junk here. No, no, no, some of this stuff you need to let go of, right you do. You need to get rid of it. So we're going to play a game now where I'm going to read some of these that I think you can get rid of them. You've got to justify you ready to play.
I'm ready.
Okay, Well, let's go back to all the Barbie gear, the Barbie dollhouse, the Barbie.
Jet, the Barbie kamper van, the Barbie car.
I look, you know what, fair enough, I will let everything go except for the camper van because that is the classic toy. Like my older nieces still have the Barbie camper van. It is like a traditional.
Yeah, we've got We've got certain things from the girls when they were younger, which you hang on to, which.
I think is really important. Plus, you never know you might become a grand parent one day.
It's a long way down the track. Stuff the thumping big house can go.
Because it's giant Barbie house going it's gone.
The jet, it's gone.
The car, Yeah, it's gone because the windshields bustard, it's cracked.
Should people ring up and get this stuff and you just donate?
I need to ask my daughter before I give it away.
Ja. What about that boxing bag, I mean it was it had is one.
The easiest boxing that boxing bags had it easy than any other boxing bag in the world.
It might have helped Terry Garside last night.
Poor kid, he got got sparked, brutal upbreaking. Yeah, afterwards. Three bikes, one scooter.
No, well they've got a steak because we're using them.
When do you ever use those?
Always for a Sunday ride Miller?
Actually we took them to Miller, all.
Right, that could stay. What about one roller skatee?
Oh yeah, they can probably go one or one pair? No, no, no, it's a pair.
Also, why is the hose and real in the in the gown shouldn't be outside.
So no one pinches it? The love God's worried someone will stealing rustlers pried on the West Side.
What stealing from Bunnings.
Neighbors of ours had their shoes stolen from their shoes Paranda.
I mean we joke about where you live. But shoes and hoses have been stolen. I got back. Judd moans about like me, sades being stolen in front in bayside, shoes in the hose you can ount yourself. Take the dirty old shoes to go outside of a walking the dogs and the garden holes. What about this hand trolley beats trolley.
Oh no, they're they're very vital when we have to move stuff.
And the beach trolley. You need that when you go for a picnic so you don't have to carry And what.
They helld are two perfect big sticks to decorate as table center pieces. Jacket says he dot dot dot one day.
I have found.
No perfect national sticks that sticks will one day I can see them above our outdoor table. I'm going to paint them put like string lights on Christmas. It is stuff and threatening to throw it out, but they're just the perfect stick. Yeah, about three years, but I will when I retire or when I have more time.
They are.
Is perhaps the only person right is this right now that has actually what she can says to be sensational sticks or perfect sticks actually kept someone if anyone's listened to this, that actually has put aside beautiful, beautiful sticks.
Please let me.
Know nature perfectly formed by nature.
Nine four one four one o four three and then the last one here This is so you pertsy one round mirror waiting to be hung when we renovate again, dot dot dot wonder I have the vision And it was half the price it was.
It's his most beautiful black mirror. And Chris it's taking up like half a wall. And Chris said you need to sell it on Marketplace and I said no, He's.
Right, there's so much here you rewarder. All right, have you got a sensational stick?
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.
All right, Patsy, you are Monday winner or loser? How is your day yesterday?
Well you could sort of either all either all, but I will say winner because.
Thank you, because that's the feature we don't really want twenty minutes.
We will go neither all.
Some good is both glass half full situation. So you know how we were talking last week about I'll never get over how you said you were resorted to having you to use a pair of socks when you went to the loo because there was no loo paper.
Improvised And I'm hum a cauntain Sully, you still got to clean that big bird Striker.
When Tom Han's going to tell your stories.
I was at the local shopping center and Nature called yesterday. I had Audrey home with me, and so she was in the next QB call to me. We were next door neighbors.
Anyway, we just sat down and tiger parenting gone too far.
I go, you go, I go, you go, you go?
I go.
No, when's it going to stop? Mom?
I wite you wait anyway?
She called out, Oh no, Mom, there's no lou paper.
At least probably said your exit, and.
I said, hang and I'll get you some.
So I went to get my loop paper and realized that I also was out neither of us, and then I had to exclaim because I was in the middle of doing a number two, and oh god.
Oh god, oh no.
I thought there was some kind of code of practices here, bird strike, boat engines.
Everyone on watch.
Listening to Goldys.
It was a real grumpy I dropped there everyone, I need a whole rot.
I thought we were in there on our by ourselves, and I said, oh no, I'm right in the middle of a.
Big you can't go back anyway.
There was a lady unbeknownst to us, right up the other end of the toilets, and she goes, oh, do you need some toilet paper down there?
And I said, yes, please, and.
To break this up to it's going to break the bait.
Known only by her added as ambers that I could see at the bottom of the door. So she handed some blue paper under the door, which was very good because I wasn't wearing songs.
So did you then donate that to already want what happened here?
Shove some under there for her as well, so I would say, I'm a winner.
You are did really badly.
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast of the weekend.
The team recommended that I go to Leonardo's. Take my nineteen year old George's at the University of Melbourne lives up near there. We went to Leonardo's and had genuinely, I've had some great pizzas, but.
That was I don't know how they did it.
You know, it sounds almost a name going that's the best pizza i' ever had. But we're all going, how is it so good and different to other good pizza?
What can change?
Surely a good pizza is a good pizza, but it was amazing, but Jack was telling me he can never go back to his place.
Well, sadly, I had an argument with Bianca there and now it's tainted, despite how delicious the food is. Whenever I think of Leonardo's I think of the argument we had tucked away in the back of the restaurant there.
Well, Patsy, where can you never go back?
We can never go back to our local laugh or kedder Thanks to the love God he has.
Hello.
He has a thing with chairs.
So they have wooden chairs there, and a wooden it's nice joint, very slippery.
They have wooden chairs. The Jack.
Anyway, he bought the chair out and sat down somewhat awkwardly.
I don't know what he was using one of these fancy wooden chairs.
Give me an old, metallic one any day, if foreign chairs.
Anyway, it was a bit sort of rickety, and as he sat down, the chairs sort of went out from under him sideways, and so he ended up on his backside on the floor. And this chair, I swear to God, I'm not exaggerating, it was like a bullet and it just went zoom from one end of the restaurant right the other come on.
The moment you say I'm not exaggerating, I lean forward like we're getting a real the BS factor's gone through the roof now and then the stories always go the same way, some.
Human amount of forces generated. It doesn't add up.
I want to do my own version of MythBusters for so many of his stories that one more a goat buttered you, and two hundred feet up into the end you landed in another state. Took me out of a gum chairs prepared down an entire restaurant.
You should have seen this. It was almost like gathering g forces.
It just.
And it was almost like.
It was in slow motion because everyone like stopped eating to watch this chair.
It was ridiculous. Anyway, it went right into the kitchen and I was so embarrassed.
And then the chef actually came out holding it with this look of amazement on his face of like, what on earth is this over.
One hand and anyone's raising his glass and.
My, Mommarella, it's just ridiculous.
Loved wooden chairs make these.
Not only that he'd fallen off the chair, but it was more about the speed of the chair, never.
Physics, time and space.
Something more likely.
This was a looney tunes cartoon or something and.
Pats his head.
Right now, we had we were there with friends. You can ask them.
They yeah, because we're going to do that, don't We take witness statements?
And in my heart it.
Was ridiculous, So why can't we go back because.
It was embarrassing. He landed on his backside. He said, we can never ever come back here.
No, that's your for you humans. They got a photo. Of course. In my mind the cartoon there's a chair shaped hot
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