The Breakfast ClubINTERVIEW: Jonathan Majors On Worthiness, Unpacking Trauma, Rebirth, Meagan Good, Marvel + More
The Breakfast Club Sits Down With Jonathan Majors To Discuss Worthiness, Unpacking Trauma, Rebirth, Meagan Good, Marvel. Listen For More!
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Wake that ass up.
In the morning Breakfast Club, Ye walk most Dangerous want to show to Breakfast Club CHARLAMAGNEA god justs hilarious.
Laurenn Leo Say is in filling in for DJ Envy, and.
We got a very special guest in the building man one of the most gifted actors of our generation, probably the most gifted, mister Jonathan Major.
How are you, brother, morning, I'm doing good. I'm doing I'm doing a lot better now, Okay, thank you.
And you're just officially tied to that.
Yeah.
How does it feel that, you know, you finally lock down your corrective.
Cup.
It's uh, it's beautiful, you know, it's uh, it's the ending of a chapter, in the beginning of a chapter. And I'm at a place where we got married on the eighteenth. That was a couple of days ago, a couple sleeps ago. And it happened when it happened, because it won't be planning it. Yeah, but uh, I felt worthy of her, you know.
Hold on black man. I felt worthy of her. It's found that. Yeah, yeah it.
She is an incredible, incredible woman. And I had to get to that level, you know, uh, spiritually, socially, emotionally, I had to mature a lot.
And she.
Caught me at a time when I was in I was in a bad way, you know, and I was very upfront about that, and she said, all right, got on the plane and came to New York City and sat with me on the on the couch and held me when you know, when it was all going down at the heaviest place.
And the more.
I got to look at her, I was like, damn, I love this woman, you know. And then when marriage became a thing, when it was like I'm going to marry her, I said, wait, but marriages, I ain't. That ain't no joke, you know what I mean. And I had to really evaluate myself even deeper. You know, if I was to wed this particular woman and she just helped me grow so much, and I wasn't I needed to be worthy of her and be worthy of her patience and her time, and that she wasn't wasting her time on me, you know. So I had I couldn't waste my time on me, and so I had to get myself right.
And then we did it. Yeah, yeah, and the journey continues, you know, like like the marriage is happiest day of my life, you know.
He is, like, what type of work did you put in to be the man that you know, she she was worthy of.
Had to get my mind right, you know. I had a lot of I just had a lot of a lot of ship that was just piled up that.
I I never really dealt with, you know, and those things hindered me socially, emotionally, spiritually.
Even a relationship with.
With my God, you know, was not where it needed to be, you know, and she being such a strong woman of God, that became clear that I need to work on that. So, I mean, y'all seen the movie, and you y'all know me, you know, so I look at something like that and it's like, all right, Jay, what you're gonna do.
I'm an actor. I appreciate the word you said. Man.
I trained for eleven years NonStop for acting summers whatever.
I'm an athlete.
I lifted, I ran, I did that, And every time I did that, I had I had a team of people around me to make me ah, to make me worthy of those jobs and that occupation. And I didn't do that for me, you know, I didn't do that for myself. And so the process of becoming worthy, you know, for her I thought, well, apply.
The same thing.
You know, I had eight different acting coaches, eight different you know, I went to two different schools.
Just do the same thing for yourself. Brother, you know, so I did you know the court helped me out with one of them.
Uh uh.
And I love I love I actually love those guys, you know what I mean. I love that situation. I've always talcome to my my therapist, you know, I'm I'm gonna stick with it, you know, and and do the uh the peer counseling, you know when all this is you know, I got yeah, oh man, I'm on my last my last one, oh your last session, last one. I think, yeah, we're getting we're getting close to the end. But yeah, I'm gonna stick with it because I'm seeing you know, you know, other other people come in and that's beautiful, you know. So I'm gonna stick with that. My my pastor, you know, Darius Daniels at Changed Church, incredible, incredible man. You know, mentor friend life coach, you know, my other personal therapist, the men's group I started, you know, the business I started. You know, all these people that can just go aj you know, they go from pulling my coattail being like, oh, oh that's different, you know what I mean, you know, And so just keeping those folks around me too, to help keep me up right, you know, and and mirror back to me what it is I'm doing, you know. And I feel I'm smiling because I'm in such a great place, you know what I mean.
I mean, I've just never been I've never been so happy, you know.
And uh, it's hard to say, but I don't think i've I think I've I had fact similes of happiness growing up, but but.
Never happy, you know that moments moments there, yeah.
You know what I mean saying oh you got jat wicked. Oh you're doing this wicked. Oh you're doing that wicked.
You know.
But there's a part of me all that, all that I heard, all that trauma, all those things I needed to work out, you know, that wouldn't allow that.
You know.
Now we got those out there. Now, we're getting those out of the system, and a lot of them have been identified.
And if you can't see it, you can't change it.
And so someone was thrown in my face and some I went and found, you know, because I felt confident and I felt supported to do that.
So that's the process before you.
Did you ever feel like through any of that, like you were scared or nervous that like Megan would be like, Yo, this is too much for me.
What was that like for you?
Yeah? All the time.
Well, as I said, it's just like I told her from the jump, like this is gonna be crazy, a wild, you know what I mean.
But when you're all in it and it's like the.
Press, Yeah, but we're like, I'm sorry now, I was.
Gonna say, because she's also a name, and so I think that there was a lot thrown on her as well, because people were like, Megan, good, why are you doing this?
Are Yeah? Yeah, I had a lot of that, you know, I had a lot of Sure, I had a lot of.
I mean, I mean, we're in a relationship, now, we're in a marriage. You know, I'll keep it straight. We had moments of like, hey, babe, it's cool, you know what I mean. I love you more than I can imagine, but you gotta you know, the ship's going down. You know you better, I'm jack, you know what I mean. You let go of me and you go get it.
You know.
That was a big thing, and she took so many she took so many hits, you know, because of it, you know, she took I don't think she bound me saying like, yeah, she wasn't in the they weren't announcing it, but like she lost endorsements. You know, we got uninvited to stuff. You know, she got uninvited to stuff because she has shown just how down she was. And they knew if if Megan's coming, Jay's coming, you know I'm coming.
You know.
Yeah, she took an incredible hit, you know, and then just walking around you know what I mean, like a lot of our a lot of our work because you guys know it's like socializing, you know what I mean.
And we asked her that when she was up here as well, you know, like the same question that Lauren just asked you. Did you ever feel like that was too much? In sheet said no, she knew that lady has God, that lady. Yes, yes, she talked about you with the same smile on her face that you have, you know, and strong, very strong woes.
She's stronger than me, you know, she's stronger than me. You know, she kept me up. It continues to keep me up. Before we walked in here, she was praying, come on, come on sah.
Yeah, and now I understand the correta understand that I do because even though you know it's a lot of jokes that came with it and a lot of things, you know, you actually did a lot for me on stage. I'm a comedian, so I used the jokes a lot. Yes, yes, But hearing you talk about that, you know how she prays with you, for you.
She flew to New.
York to sit there and you cried in her arms, like you know, it just always. It just also shows the backbone of black women can be you know, yeah, d black woman, black black.
That's the only thing you can't say. You can't use the term credit for a white woman. Yeah, do you regret that? You know, I've seen people say you are at a career crossroad with this film. Magazine Dreams, by the way, phenomenal for not when I say a phenomenal film, I give Magazine Dreams a ten out of ten. I wish they would have stuck the lands and just a little bit different. And it's like, you know, when you watch it again, there's like little technical stuff. I been like, I wish they would have explored that a lot more. But brother, the job you did in that movie. My god, how hard was it to get the character of Killian Maddicks out of you?
Tell us a little bit about the character for other and then tell us how hard it was.
Yes, sir, so, Killian Maddicks is a aspiring bodybuilder. He uh, he moves to the world a bit. As far as his mental state, he's a bit different, right, he's a bit different.
And as an.
Understatement, yeah, yeah, yeahstatement, he's a unique character.
I would say, we've not seen a character especially you know, we'll keep it straight here, right, we never We have not seen a black actor, male or female. And if we have, you know, someone howled at me and let me know, Jay, you misspoke.
Blah blah blah. You know, no, and I'll take it back.
But who comparable?
But to my understanding, I mean, I've not seen our demographic.
You know, someone who is from the African diaspora participate in a film that had a protagonist that got to live in that odd, unique, beautifully unique space. You know, as as the film goes, you find out, you know, some of the reasons of that. He's dealt with incredible childhood trauma. But his dream is to get his pro card pro card is like making it into the league for a bodybuilder, and he's working hard to do that. And as he's trying to do that, he's dealing with the trials and tribulations of his uniqueness and also of his blackness, of his size, of his gender. You know, all these things come into play. And so he's as he's aspiring and working towards that, he has to deal with a lot of a lot of stuff and and ultimately he's trying to connect and uh, the last little bit is he's infatuated with essentially the what would you say, Yeah, the top of the top.
You know, this guy.
Named vander Horn who is the you know, top bodybuilder. That's his aspiration.
Uh. And the thing about that which is interesting is that he is a you know, six five.
Hercule and white god. And that's something that he has to wrestle with, you know, this idea of the American dream and celebrity and fame and all these things, and uh, you know, there's a lot there's a lot of movie there. You know, I think that's the best I can kind of put it out there. But uh, he's trying, and he's he's striving, and he's trying, you know, to do better, and he's trying to use the tools, but he can't really get there, you know. But ultimately, well, you guys will see.
What you guys have seen.
How much of it, because that's why I asked it hard to get the character out of use? How much of it was acting? How much of it was actual projection?
You wreck stuff in the first like twenty like you the story like you tear stuff down fast.
It it happens, fasts on how much of it was acting.
Or projection, well, actings actings of I mean, I'm sure, I mean your comedian, you know, you know we're using ourselves, right, We're using ourselves a lot. And then that's the idea is a craft, you know, like I can't just get up there and be Johnson and tell a story.
You know, I can guess what that's what we're doing now. But as far as the.
Picture is concerned, Killian, Killian and I have similarities in many ways. But ultimately, you know, he is a fictitious character that was made, but the raw materials of him absolutely came from the mind of Elijah buying them, uh and myself, you know, and so that that I mean, I don't want to segue to Elijah bout them, but I will say, when playing the protagonist, there's no way you can't use what you have, you know what I mean.
And so the picture was made three years ago, nearly.
Now, and a lot of the things that I've come to understand about myself were so unresolved. However, in acting, right and in my process of acting, you.
Are using the subconscious. You're definitely using the subconscious.
And because of that, I go, oh, well, I think I understand what I mean. I mean, there are scenes that completely mirror moments in my life, you know. Yeah, you know the I'm sure we'll get to that. You have to ask the question, I'll answer it.
But yeah, I don't want to give too much of the movie.
Yeah, but but the answer is yes, there is. But but in the acting it's not necessarily unprocessed. It's it's it's unknown things that make themselves relevant through the given circumstances of the play. You know, I grew up in the theater of the movie, you know, And so yeah, I mean, if it's not in you, you can't give it, you know, And sometimes you have to go find it, and sometimes it's there and you don't realize it's there, you know, but that's.
Not the one you want to take home with you.
No, no, it's not.
As I was watching it, I'm like, how much of that did he take home that ended up ended up in his real life, especially in light of the you know, the situation that you.
Had, right, I would say, I would say in this case, like honestly, because here it is honestly like acting. So Stella Alller, right, there's all these acting teachers, right, but Stella Elis are something very very very clear. Growth as an actor and growth as a human happened simultaneously, right, And that is something I really live by and something I understood.
The difference with this picture.
Is it asked so much of the actor, right, It has so much of the craft that so if this is the craft, right, and then this is the actor. This film made me grow so much as an actor, right. But in doing that, I realized, oh, I was so stunted as a human being. Right, So the answer is no, I didn't. And also I do it for a living, like I know how to shake it off, like I have a very spiritual practice with my hand up.
You know, I have a very spiritual.
Practice when it comes to acting, you know. And so if anything, if anything, it's not that I took anything home. It was that I was accessing things subconsciously that as all actors do subconsciously. That I mean, this guy still was like, no, I know how to do this. Okay, you did it with get done? Put that back away, Put that back away, put that back away.
You know what I mean.
And that's what happened, you know, same as all same as all pictures. And yet life goes along, you know. So at this point I can't say, you know, if oh did you carry that? I mean, I've not carried Montgomery Allen home from that black man in San Francisco. I'm not carried, you know, So I don't I don't know if that's uh, if that's the case, but I don't know, you know what I mean.
Were there any days on set where you felt like like meltdown or break down? Like was this ever? Was it ever hard for you to film? Triggered?
Triggered, triggered once, triggered once there's a scene, yeah, and you ah, there's moments where like you say, oh, they're inspired, right, there's a there's a moment where, uh, something has just happened to the character. Something's just happened to Killian and Elijah buying them and all his wisdom, and that's a talented, talented brother man. We had just finished the scene and I was still I was still up. Yeah, I mean that's why I called. I was still up, you know, and Keeling was still operating. And he's always operating when I'm at work, you know, he's still operating, still operating to the to the point that he came in and said, hey, can you walk out the trailer? So that should let you guys know what. You guys know what the scene is, walk out the trailer and then just process all of that as you're walking out. And this is something that when it's not on the script, right, it's no language. So I can't since he's a target to keep my engine going, right, So I'm living in my imagination and for whatever reason, and now you know, two and a half years later, I understand the reason, right, But I got up. I walked out the trailer and Adam, our beautiful DP was right in front of me. He said, just walk out out and let that happen, right, And I didn't know anything was going to happen.
You know though I was still hot.
I was walking out, and I just felt it's kind of like heat for me when I'm working right like it's I felt all this heat come up. My feet got hot, and then my face got hot, and I went, oh, oh, I'm glad you asked because that was the moment when I realized as I was walking out or maybe I'm just realizing now that wasn't killing crying, right, that was that was me crying, you know what I mean.
Based off the yeah, based off I'm trying not to get a revelation you gave this week, Yeah, being abused?
Yeah yeah, yeah, got you got you, got you, got you, got you and wow, yeah, I guess in a way that was the that was the beginning of like okay.
I was like hypnotizing. Then that opened up all hmmm.
I was going to ask you because I read that article that you did with when you talked about being abused. Now that you're revealing or well, you're revealing to the world, but you're dealing with because of the therapy and different things that you're doing, all of this internal stuff like are you right now having to go through a different process of like figuring out who you are againt and how does that affect you as an actor, because like you know, like you know, all right, this is the character I'll come in, I'll do this. But like now you're talking to your mom about stuff she didn't know. How you're talking to your past about something they didn't know. It makes you, I don't know, like do you feel like you're like kind of reinventing who Jonathan Matrix is because of things?
Or rebirth? Rebirth?
Yeah, I mean like only tattoo I have, which my pastor mother was like you grown, You're grown that you want and you know, but yes, it's definitely there's a moment now where I go. I mean, I just I was I was saying, saying the wife, you know, like like I just feel different, you know. And this was this was probably you know, two weeks time ago, Timy moving.
This is probably just two weeks ago.
I was sitting there and I was like, I feel different, Like I just feel different, you know. And there is like I'm I'm gonna do a couple of pictures this year, god willing, but I am nervous, you know, I am nervous.
Nervous that you don't have it the same anymore.
I don't know what's gonna.
Happen about the audience.
Gift is gonna make room for you because you just to you too gifted to deny?
Thank you brother?
What is the fear?
The fear is uh what? Yeah?
Yeah, just keep it the buck, like, yeah, I fear that, Like is it I've made so much more space, you know what I mean? And it's like, ohwa's is it gonna hit the same?
Like? I know the craft? I know that, you know. I don't know the craft, but I study the craft, you know. I stay in it, you know.
And it's like, but it goes back to growth as a human, growth as an artist, right right? Okay, so the artist is the artist outgrew the outgrew the self, outgrew me.
Right.
That led to chaos and hell right, but the work was wicked, right, The work was good.
I just say wicked, But the work was good.
Right now, Now, what's gonna happen when the work that I've done and I continue to do on myself now it becomes worthy of the audience's the scripts, the stories of characters I play. What's gonna happen to this guy?
You know what?
I mean, is he gonna I don't know what's gonna happen. I will say this, I'm nervous, but I'm very excited, you know what I mean. I'm very excited because like that, I've got no you know, I don't got that, you know what I mean. So I'm like, cool, I got it. Like I was thinking about you say bolt right, you say both. I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about you, saying about the fast my own planet is the most jollyus man on the track.
He's funny, he's laughing, he's doing this thing. And then he didn't. He's the fastest man on the planet.
And I go, oh, oh, that's the that's the vibe, Like I can be serious about what I do. I can I can apply my craft. I can really dog myself in the craft. That's the game, you know what I mean. If you want to make something for people, m hmm. My opinion is I want to make something for people that they understand. I care, right, I care about If I'm playing a bodybuilder, I care about the bodybuilding community. If I'm playing Jesse Brown, you know from devotion, I care about his legacy, his family. I apply everything I have into that, right, but you can.
Also laughing joker and have a good time, you know what I mean.
And and like that part, that part, I didn't do those things. You know. I was nice and jolly on set and this and this, but there's a part of me that just wouldn't allow myself to you know, I've never seen a movie I made, you know what I mean, you know it's playing the more the more, the more I think about it, I think there was a part of me that felt unworthy of being on the screen, well, unworthy of of of like like that's that's I made it for them, you know, like like you made that art for the people, you struggle for the people, you know, in the art form it's done now, you know. And so I never I never got to close the loop in a way, right, I never got to come back to the to the community.
I never got to come back to the audience. You know.
I know they love the or they didn't love you know, the character or the movie, but I never got to stay connected to them. And that and that's really the biggest part of this. I don't wanner sound like you know this rebirth, that's a word. It's not my neck, I can say it right this rebirth where it's like, oh, connection and help, that's the game, you know what I mean, Connection and help and not just playing you know, the movie star role and like getting trucks for the crew and you know, send them flowers which all comes from my heart.
I mean.
But then when they come and say thank you, I couldn't receive it. I couldn't receive love, you see. I could give it, yeah, I mean, but I couldn't receive it. But then love that's been given and you're not receiving is that is that love?
You know what I mean?
Like you know, rejection is a common theme with this film.
Yeah, and that's what it sounds like you're describing now, Like you're afraid of rejection. Like when Killian's boss says to him, nobody knows you, nobody knows who you are to me. It dismisses everything he wants, you know, the recognition, the being seen, the magazine dreams, so to speak. So how much does that moment increase, you know, Killian's demand for respect and how how much did that hit home for you?
Hm hmm.
I think in that moment in the in the picture where he says that, you know, because he's on his Killian is kill is always riding pretty idling, pretty high.
Yeah, I mean there is, there is.
There is always a sense of like I am always in the room when I'm acting. Right, there's the it's the most here it comes. It is the most unsocialized, the most pure version of myself that that I bring into the art form. It's my nine year old self, right, you know, and you know, as as as the article speaks about in this and this, like you know, my life changed a little bit now change a lot around you know the ages of eight to like fourteen, you know what I mean. And that's the kid that was pure and honest and you know, worthy of love and sunshine and playgrounds and all that stuff. You know, that's where I'm operating from. But around that time, it's also the time the thing shifted. And so when that man says that to me, yeah, Killian has his brain going, it's like, oh, you know, and he does what he does, But there's also part of me that goes, you know, my dad left at that time. You know, so you go, that's that sensitivity part your work. We all have to work from that child, right, with that child, right, and so in that moment, you just let that child go and he takes it. He hears it, and he responds. So yeah, I definitely heard it with Killian's ears and my ears, you know. And the response is the response in the picture, you know.
So, yeah, you.
Said you never watch your work. You didn't watch the love Craft Country?
Did I watch Lovecraft Country? I saw probably thirty five minutes of Lovecraft Country. It's a ten hour it's a two hour thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, am I.
Seeing it four times? You ain't watch it?
Thank you bad thing?
You know.
And it's also twofold, right. It's also the fact that I grew up in the theater. You know, I do theater. I hope to do a little theater this year here in the city. Yeah, I do theater. That's just not a part of my upbringing, you know what I mean, like like.
Watching Yeah, well not necessarily. Who also grew up on the country, you know, in the country. You know, it's like my entertainment was throwing you know, throwing glass bottles at the at the trash thing, you know what I mean, Like that's what we did, you know, or go hanging out in the Creek, you know, byself, you know, like.
Just chilling, you know, outdoors, outdoors.
You know, and reading books, you know. And then when I matriculated into the drama programs that I went to, I don't. I don't care what I look like.
I don't care what I mean, I care now you know what I'm saying. You know, I have a makeup on It's crazy, uh, you know.
Never I never wore makeup.
I don't wear makeup in pictures, right, never wore makeup in the movie, you know. But you know, it's a new game now. And I was like, all right, cool, I still have to say that it's.
Just not a part of my.
It's not part of my art lineage right to watch, I think, you know, as I move into direct thing when I'm producing things. Lovecraft Magazine Dreams is the first film that I produced with my production company, Tall Street, which is dope. If I wasn't in the picture as much, I well, yeah, I definitely would have watched it, you know, because because now it's a different part of the art form, you know.
But as an actor, we don't. I don't. I don't watch myself.
I think all the ale's out there in North Carolina School the Arts, grass and actors just act.
There's you know who came up in the theater. Yeah that is an that's a novel thing. Yeah.
We watch our auditions, you know, to make sure they're wicked dope. But you don't watch, you know, to me, it can get you in your head. I don't you know, don't don't invite you know, criticism. You know, when it comes to the art form, you know.
You'll probably break yourself down.
Yeah, definitely, especially in the audition process. You know, definitely the audition process.
When you talk about inviting things.
And I was sitting here thinking because I heard it was two questions I had for you, just sitting listening to you when you talk about the projects that you have coming up. I thought about, like the fact that right now you're on this press run. When you sat down with CAVIU Frager and you said wifey, and then the story came out about you guys being married, it was like, oh my god, he's married. But then on another hand, it was like he announced this because all this other stuff came.
Out the Rolling Stone article with the audio.
You right now are working and moving, but I feel like I don't even know it's not on purpose, but there's so many things that are coming at you. How are you dealing with all of that? Because being married is that's a good moment. Being able to get back to work is a good moment. But there's a lot coming your way. What's the daily Like who I can do this because you've done the work on yourself at this point.
Amen, it's the work, you know, and it's God, you know. And also like in our family, like we've been through it. We've been through a lot in a short amount of time, you know what I mean, Like we are we're war buddies and husband and wife you know, and best friends, like but for real, for real war. But it's not like oh yeah, no no, no, no, no, no, no no. We've been through it, you know what I mean, and we'll continue to go through it. But something that we really talk about and something like we can't let like we gotta live our life, you know what I.
Mean, Like, yes, everyone in this room, you know, it's in.
The public eye, right if I didn't do something that I had planned, by the way, that I have planned.
Months ago, Because.
There's a there's a there's a we're having a bad day you know, one of us are having a bad day or or I'm having a really bad day. I would not get up in the morning, you know what I mean, I wouldn't get up in the morning.
So so who who's going to dictate my life? Who's going to take my happiness? You know?
Well me and God, you know, and whatever wife people is feeling that day. You know, like my mother this ring.
Because your mom, your mom married you.
Guys, my mother married this, right, And it was that plan too.
Like that was originally that's how we went ever.
Plan right, Like in this my wedding ring is in grade. It says my love of life. Right, this was engraved six months ago. No, probably probably I wish she was here. Uh, she's here somewhere.
She ain't gonna be mad that you don't notice, right, Sugar Mayne A while ago.
Yeah, we had done.
We had in April twenty four, but in Hawaii, you know, after I spoke to her father and me had more chats. I speke to father twice. Uh love you pop. Yeah, and then we had to plan for you know, the the movie you know, Tom and Briarcliffe was like, we're doing this, man, if you feel ready to go out there.
You're gonna go out there? Right? What else am I gonna do?
Because even that gets overshadowed because the way that when people talk about this movie, it's like, oh, it's his comeback after such and such.
But you've been working on this for years.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but but it but it but the comeback? Oh yes, so yeah, Mom was already coming, right, Tommy, we.
Already had our chat.
You know, Tom is Meghan's dad.
Oh no, no, no, Uh, Tom is the owner of Briarcliffe who's distributing my family right, Uh, mister good is making us day.
Yeah.
So so yeah, we had already had it set up, and my mother, who was a pastor or theay minister, was coming out for the It was such a big thing that that magazine Dreams was coming out and my mother had not come to a premier. My sister had come to a premier, my daughter had come to a premier. Still got to get my brother out to one, but my mother had not come to a premiere.
And so we had already planned.
Once we had the date, Okay, Mommy coming out on this date, and then from that point we're like, all right, cool, you're here, bring your stuff, bring your gear whatever, whatever, you know, stuff you put on the married folks because she also married my Wait did.
She marry all of us? Yeah?
My mother married my brother and she married my sister. Wow, and now she married me and so yeah, that's that. We not a tradition in the family. So there was no question I was going to marry us, you know, very intentional.
Do you have an idea of who is creating this targeted attack, because let's be clear, I think it's a targeted attack. I mean when I look at you know you got to charge with mister mena assault and harassment.
We see you on video running away from this relation.
There's the optics of the big black man, you know, white white, blondhaired woman. And it's like every time you're about to do something right, like the Hollywood Report article comes out, start hearing this good news about magazine Dreams, then all of a sudden it's audio.
Leaks and the audio is from twenty twenty two.
Come on, man, you gotta know that there's somebody targeting you. Because everybody deserves redemption. That's people out here screaming for other folks to get redemption that have done way worse.
I've been accused the way.
Work and have been granted. Yes, some guys.
I mean listen, let the streets talk, you know, let the streets talk. You know, it's very again. I got a whole wife to deal with, you know, I got I got a bunch of dogs. I got a twelve year old daughter I got to get to and spend some time with, and you know, show us, show her more stuff, you know what I mean.
Like, but you know that you could be getting granted a lot more grades. I even think about like Marvel. Marvel, you know, they had controversies with gods like Jeremy Renner who plays Hotkeye, the guy who played Naymore, had some things, but they were so quick to part ways with you.
Robert Downey Jr. Was a lot of grades Like mm hmmm.
Yeah.
I mean you play the hanging, you know, and it's not over till it's over, you know what I mean, Like, it's not over till it's over. You know, there's just this one thing I know. I love my wife, I love my daughter, I love my family. I love this art form, and I trust in God. And I know for a fact what's in me right now? I mean I'm on fire inside. You know, I'm on fire.
You know.
The next time I hit a set, I can't wait to tell that story, to spend time with the crew, to promote that film, to get out to the people, to come see you guys again. And I have no doubt in my mind. You know that it's going to happen. I don't know when, you know, though, we have you know, we have things in the works. But you know.
What those rumors about Marvel bringing King back true.
Man, here's the thing about Marvel, right, you don't know until you know. You know what I mean, You don't know until you know. I will say this though, of all the characters I played, right, King carries a certain novelty and a certain challenge for an actor that I would I would, I would, I would. I would love to play it again, you know. And so when I hear people talk about it, as long as the streets are talking, as long as the fans are talking, you know there is a there's hope, you know, because look, Disney is a Look we all grew up on Disney. Maybe maybe not, you know, but like they got us, you know, they got us, you know, I mean, like we're locked in we know. I love Disneyland. I love Disney World. You know, Hercules, you know Robinhood. These are things we grew up on, you know what I mean.
I love it. And when I was invited to the Marvel universe to play you know, if all characters king I loved it, I miss it.
I want to do it again. The role is incredible, it is It is unique from any other role I've ever played because of the the lexicon of characters that this man, this character gets to play. I absolutely want to do it again. You know, if there's a way, I would love to be there. But you know, again, that's in Guy's hands. That's in the hands of you know, the the Disney Corporation and the shareholders and all of that. And you know, we're in a divided world right now, and so all at me.
I'm here.
You know, how was the letter that you wrote to Marvel uh to Kevin? How was that letter received?
I don't know how it was received, you know, But but you know, I've got his info. I know it's him, you know what I mean, And I sent it to him, you know, and he's a he's in I'm sure he was in a tough position when I sent it to him. It was it was long after a lot of this stuff. You know, Yeah, I really liked I really I love that man, you know that, that that specific individual. I really love him. You know, I've got nothing but love for Marvel. But yeah, you know, uh yeah, you know I didn't hear back.
You know, but I treated you like Brad van Dorn. You gotta watch the movie magazine.
Uh, that's good.
I want to ask you about that because it was such a one sided relationship with Brad. Vand horn between Killian and Brad in the movie, and you know, you kept writing them these letters and he thinks he has a connection with Brad.
It's almost like how fans.
Feel today, like they have a simple access to celebrities that they don't actually have, but social media makes them feel like they do. Have you ever had a Chillian in your life? Did you out here with your shirt off all the time?
Yes?
Yes, okay, yes, yes, yes.
It's a delic of balance, like being a public figure right as we all are in this room, you know, or even just be spoiler alert, everybody's a public figure if you have an Instagram is out there, you know what I mean. So like it's all about being kind, you know, Like, yeah, I've dealt with that multiple times, you know.
And it's like.
You have to set boundaries, you know, and you have to be kind, but you also have to understand that these individuals are also the individuals that allow you, that prop you up to be this public figure, as it were. So it's a delicate balance, you know. However, you know, everybody just understand boundaries, Like you know, I understand like even if I know you, you know what I mean, Like you and me, if I text you, bro and you don't text me back, I'm not coming to the studio.
You know, I'm not coming to the studio.
Like it's your boy hit me back, like two days later, urgent Negro hit me back. And if you don't hit me back, and then I would go around the other way, be like, hey call this man, see what's going on.
You know, I'm not showed up to your house, you know what I mean, I'm not doing that, you know. But that's because I have boundaries.
You have balance, you know what I mean. I respect you, you respect me, you know. So yeah, I've dealt with that. And how much do you owe to the fan, the fan or the fans.
Fans, Yes, I ge I guess I said fan in this particular situation.
In that in that regardless, Here's thing, you know, I think every everybody's different. But I love my fans. I love them even more now, you know what I mean. I think that anything you asked me to do, you know, within reason, I'm gonna do it. Like I'm gonna do it. I don't mind. You know, I'm just built like that though, you know what I mean, Like we're a team. I understand that.
You you know what I mean.
And I also understand like like yeah, I got fans, but like I'm not so and so and so and so. You know what I mean, I'm not you know, Timothy Shallow, may you know what I mean.
Where it's like that's just.
Wow, you know what I mean. Like like I'm me, you know.
And I've got my demographic, I've got my team, I've got my Marble.
Fans, my Creed fans.
By this fan, I love them, you know what I mean, I love them. You know if they step over the line, that's why you got scaredy, you know what I mean?
You know what made uh, how did Zeus Network become the home for magazine dreams.
That's a beautiful story. That's a beautiful story. So I just got done doing Hollywood Unlocked. Our brother and friend, Jason Lee. Yeah, well up Jason Lee.
I'm coming, bro, don't trip, I'm coming. So thanks thanks.
Uh yeah, Jason Lee reached out to uh, to us and was like, hey man, we want to do this. He took a he took a he took a shot with us, and we did the We did the award show, and then we found out. I found out through the award show that Lemmy as Zeus was kind of like operating the whole thing, you know, like he was sponsoring the whole thing, you know, supporting the whole thing. We had a beautiful night, you know, a very healing night that night for the family, which is and for myself especially, And then time goes along and I get a phone call. This is after Bridcliffe had already picked it up. You know, it is what it is. You know, like people have their opinions, they go, hey, yeah, I don't want to I don't want to help anymore. You know, we lose the money, and then you know a certain amount of the money. Right, Tom holds steady, as he always does, but you know, we lose the money a certain portion of it and we need it or the film's not coming out, you know, like just not coming out. And I literally got on the phone, you know, baby, was like, hey, you know, what do you think we should do.
I'm like, I don't know what you think we should do. We put a list together. We're like, you know, ah, no, yes, yes, yes, yes. That happened.
And then I had a meeting with Jason, Me and Jason and his buddy Robert. We just sat and chatted and he said, yeah, you know, I got an idea. Let me run it by you. He said, yeah, you should hit him. So we hit Lemmy right. I called Lemmy directly, literally big shout out to Lemmy and Zeus. I called Lemmy. The meeting was at nine am. I called Lemmy at twelve. When I got back to the house after training. We sat there, I texted me, text me back. I told him what the game was. He said, I'm in. He hadn't seen the movie. He said, I'm in. I got you, brother, right mm hmm. When he was transferred, deal was done.
Wow, like that that's what I like to hear.
That's God when somebody tell you I'm in and then they put their money in their.
Mouth in sight unseen, Wow, site unseen. I got you, I got you, you know.
So I mean big ups to Zeus network and let me and all his team, all his soldiers, Like that's a he's the real deal. And we need that it within the culture, you know, I mean, like we need someone that's gonna go. I'm betting on you, you know, I mean, I'm betting on us, deon Taylor. We need that look yeah you know, of course, yeah, yeah, I'm tripping, I'm tripping together.
Yeah.
But even the awards show that moment because the wors Show happened and then the meeting would let me happen like the Worst Show moment.
I think it went so viral.
I mean, you were very emotional when people got to see that, but it was like publicly the first time after everything that some of them was like really taking a major chance behind you, like this person deserves to be able to come back and say his piece or whatever.
That alone.
Like when Jason first called you for that award, how did you feel like, we're you kind of hesitant?
Where you so much trauma, you know, so much trauma when he called, I was like, I mean, I was so small at that time, you know, inside, you know, I was just like I was just starting with my you know, avengers of therapists and pastors, you know what I mean. So I was still working a lot of things out. And when he called, I was like, man, that ain't gonna happen. You know, like you get the first of Doorphin hit the dopaminion, like, yeah, okay, cool, cool cool, But no, that's not gonna happen. They're gonna let they are not gonna let you do that, you.
Know what I mean.
And yeah, but even Jason, even Jason was getting caught. I mean, he had resistance, right, he had resistance, and he's listening and he knows what I'm talking about. I'm not gonna put his business in the street. He had resistance. But Jason Lee said, hey, I'm gonna get this done.
Bro, I got you. I'm gonna get this done, you know.
And I go, all right, bro, you know, we have calls, everybody's on the call, we write the speech. Speech is like, well, you know, the speech ain't gonna work. You know, I ain't gonna come up.
You know.
It was crazy, but Jason was I believe in him. I believe in this, We're gonna do it, and he did it, and he did it, you.
Know, and bring him his visit into it.
That was everything?
Was that?
What was the planning around that that? How early did that happen or did she say hey, I want to be involved.
I can't speak to that in super detail, but I do know that Jason, Jason had a real conversation with her, and she understood the situation, believed in redemption, believed in you know, helping, you know what I mean. And she came and she did it, and she she did it. I felt that, you know, I felt that, and I'm so grateful to her, you know, I love it.
Imagine. Question, how have your views on Hollywood chance?
Because you said that you're not Timothy Sharlow made, but Hollywood was setting you up to be that next gold boy, Like they all acted like they loved you before the scandal, and as soon as there was some smoke, it was off.
You do you take that personal?
Two years of reflection, you get to sit back and just kind of go, Okay, what's the game, you know what I mean? Because let's be honest, like if anybody doesn't think that it's an industry. It's an industry, you know what I mean, And money is involved, and I don't know's it's anyone in Hollywood, anyone in the entertainment understands that, Like, yeah, this is a town. It's a town that goes up and down, up and down. You're hot your coat, you're this shit that, you're.
This shoor that. But to be you know, in such a position, you know, with.
So many allies, friends, studios, all of it, you know what I mean, Like it's all there, you know, and then to watch it go. It was just a very clear understanding that this is a business. I mean, And there are some personal things where I go that hurt, that hurt me, you know what I mean, That hurt my bank account, that hurt me, you know what I mean? Does it change my perspective? I was always talent forward. I was always talent forward. I want to make sure that I'm doing the best I can in the role I'm doing, and like that that's all that mattered to me, you know. But I saw more, you know, in tandem. You know, when I'm looking at what's happening, what was happening with Meghan or you know the amount of pressure and heat and shame that was trying to be thrown on people who did stick with me. You know, my agent, Along Ruthfully, he's a dog man. He stayed man, he fought for me. I just love him. You know, he's my brother. You know, he is my brother. You know, Along Ruthfully, I love you, man. But when I saw what he had to deal with, It's like, damn, that's crazy, you know what I mean, Like, I don't I don't want that in the industry at the whole was like, look, the entry changes so quickly. You know, I am optimistic, you know, I can't stunt and be like blah blah blah. But I'm a realist and I.
Go, yeah, yeah, yeah, that hurt, you know.
What I mean, doesn't change my respective. I knew it was always a game. You know, I'm cool to saying that before that's the game.
You know.
I remember, Lauren, you probably know, but I remember there was an article that came out and it was just a bunch of different people, you know, saying you were emotionally abusive to that, you know, verbally abusive and you know it works you before and it wasn't a pleasant experience when that came out. Did you ever look at any of that stuff and say, Okay, some of that might be justified.
I might have been an asshole in that situation.
That article.
You know, they were talking about from college days, So you're not the same man.
Yeah, yeah, well there there's there's some hmm. How did it come at this one? Everybody's entiled to their opinion. Yeah, I watched this as far as I'm just gonna I'm just gonna stay some facts about school, school and this with no kind of school, the arts, and I also went to Yale.
It was a Yale. I was on a full scholarship. We all were.
I was also on a Lloyd Richards scholarship. Our brother, Lord Richard's brought in August Woolson Camp all that stuff. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man, rest in peace. I was recipient of that. When that information happened, When that when that, when that started being said, that's when I went, that's what that's That was hard because I go, this is Yale University. Where's the write up if all of this is true, where's the write up from my administration, from my dean? Where is it that was the only thing in which I got involved because it was supposed to be family, right. I got involved and went show me, show me, show me a paperwork. I not my lawyer. I hit my dean and said show me, said no, there's nothing there. I step up the email.
You know what I mean? Do I still wear my yell cap? Yeah?
Because I went there. You know my class. You know I love them. I love them and I understand. I understand. I don't agree with it, but I understand. You know, in all off.
Record, hmm, what went through your mind when Michael Illy had picked up Megan. I want to see you. I want to see you answer that one. I want to see what did this happen?
In the movie?
Was going to carpet, remember, and Michael he came up and said hello to Megan and the clip that they had online he picked her up the clip they had online. You were just standing there and people say, y'all. I know he was salty, but there was the part of you all shaking hands before too.
Oh.
I remember this. I remember. I remember. I love that pretty man. Look at him pretty lifting up my wife. It's all good. No, no, no, that's my brother, that's my brother.
Yeah, I mean.
Wife, they have they have they have a beautiful friendship, they have all these things, you know, like and and respectfully, because like, we have real life, and then we have what everyone says about our real life. Right and and as you all know, we have to navigate between those two things.
Right.
If the things people say about our life actually make their way into our lives, then the people have to be mature enough to address it.
And brother Eli, who.
I've seen many times, we did a workshop together at Dion's place. Michael was like, hey, bro, my bad.
You know what I mean? And I was like, respect respect I was like.
This man trained for Creed. All of them blows. Michael's it's all love.
I have a question about the movie.
Uh So, in magazine Dreams, your relationship with your father is insane because of the thing that him and your mom and I don't want to give it away. Yeah, with your father, but in real life too, you talk about your dad leaving your life, and you know some of the things you dealt with after that. Channeling your real relationship with your dad and then bringing it onto screen, what did you pull from specifically and what did you purposely say? I don't want to pull from this because I don't want to revisit that.
If it's in there, right, if it's in there and it's it's conscious, you know.
That's the job, right.
You got to use it, I use I mean, we can, we can, We'll get We'll get to Magazine Dreams with Michael Kay Williams, who actually played my father right in My brother my brother Okay, whimas you played my father in Lovecraft. He was dealing with it all day, right, I was thinking about my daddy issues all day, right, because they were just right on top of each other right in in Magazine Dreams.
Yeah, same thing.
You know you you you go, okay, you like this, I like this. Cool that that's something that we say, Oh you get that for nothing, right, You get that for nothing right? And in your work you go, okay, cool, this man is in love with this woman.
Cool.
I know what that is. I'm in love with my woman. Boo, Okay, I get that for nothing right. And the details and the specificity of that relationship are drawn out through the actual characterization and and the world that we're in. But I just want, I just want to be clear it's you're talking about like, because because Dad's not in the movie.
No, it's I just want to make sure.
Your grandfather.
But I had to look upway.
That's why it's hard for me to ask the question because you got to get so much set up with it. But I was basically asking because it's such a messed up situation that you're taking care of your papa. And then and then in real life you talk about your dad and him leaving you and your mom, like I've heard you talk about that a couple of times.
And then your mom came to to see this movie.
And I know mom had to be like, you know that there's some trauma probably with her too that came back in.
So yeah, yeah, yeah, I think, uh, every time you have to touch something, you kind of want to make it connect, you know what I mean, You want to make it connect. And and you know, my father, my biological father, my dad. You know, I don't want to hurt him, right, but I love him, you know, but but we experienced something that could have been avoided had he not done what he's done, you know what I mean, done what he did. Come on, yeah, yeah, thank you, brother, you know what I mean. So, so there's that, and so you because what we're talking about is to share trauma right between Killian understands and what happened to him in his world and what I understand what happened to be in my world, and.
That that.
The visceral abandonment, if that makes sense. It's something that I can always connect to and it's something that I've experienced, something a Killian Achillian does experience. And so in that in that monologum right where we're going through it. Yeah, obviously the images of of of my father, you know who. Let me be very clear, I love my dad, you know, I love him, you know, for the man he is, you know, but it is what it is, you know what I mean, And it's it's up to him.
To fix that. You I mean, I understand that.
You know, you make a mistake, It's up to you to fix it. You know something wrong with you, It's up to you to fix it. So you know, standing by dad, standing by no.
I'll tell you something, man, when when you when once you if you actually and I don't know if you have, but when you actually have converse with your father and he tells you about his upbringing yep, his childhood and the things he went through I guarantee you'll end up giving them more grace because I remember my father telling me that he went to therapy two and three times a week and he was on ten to twelve different medications for his various mental health issue and he tried.
To commit suicide back in the day.
When I when he told me that, it just it just allowed me to give him so.
Much more grace.
And I think sometimes we forget our parents had a life before they were for our parents.
And currently has lives while they were our past, you know what I mean.
So like and we all know, like bring a child into bro thank you, Like like I completely agree with that, you know, and and and I'm all my way to that.
At that place.
It's just but it's just that like this is this is the rebirth, this is the new this is the this is.
The new bop, you know.
Like like my big brother says to me, hey dog, you know and straight up I've heard that before, right, but like O Megan said it to me before, you know. And it's just like he speaks to my brother, he speaks to my mom, he speaks to my sister, you know what I mean. I'm just the eldest son you know, the southern eldest son. That may mean something some of the listeners. Right, that's different, you know what I mean, And it's like it's a different thing. But but then it's not right like that chat, that's something else, right, you speaking from your hurt there right, hearing you now right, you helped me.
Oh yeah, damn, you're right.
Because you know it makes me think about the character Killian right when you're watching the film, the angry black man persona, whatever you want to say it is. It's all justified, you know, being the way he lost his parents, with his grandfather's going through you know all of that. But your trauma is not your fault, but your healing is your response to responsibility. And I think by the end of the movie that's what he learns. That's what I wish I would have You would have explored a little bit more because we solve the problems.
But where was this.
I'm gonna watch the I mean, I promise this you were gonna let us take time to watch the last three minutes of the picture at some point together.
And wait, we gotta stop talking about this. This is a spoiler.
Something you know, watch a movie, because listen, he is. He really watched he's been talking about this is yesterday.
Look, he'd be up.
Here in line and everybody listening to the albums before we come in here.
He told them, little people, I watched the show, did.
Not did not watch the show.
He watched this movie, called me yo, you need to watch Yo.
This is this is great, this is greatest role ever.
And I'm like this. How you know he is in here expounding love.
That's what just told me when I said you should watch magadthe Drink. I will, but let me finish watching Tyler.
Perry Jay go ahead.
I was paid to do here on the movie because you know I'll be doing reviews.
Look, Magazine Dreams is one of the best movies. Just to watch the brother. We love our brother. I get. I get.
I have another question about your dad. Has he seen this movie? Do y'all talk often? Has he seen the movie?
D though little text here here and there? You know what I mean, like, uh, I need to FaceTime him with his uh new daughter in law.
They always got a new.
Gotta do that. But no, he's not. He's not seen it. I mean I did, didn't see my link or anything. But look, I know my dad, like.
He didn't hit you after the interview that you did and where you talked about the.
I mean, but that's the thing, like I should probably holler at him. I will, I'll give him a shot. I tabled it, well, tabled the best I could. You really did with my mother beforehand.
So before that article came out.
Yeah, yeah, I had to had to, you know what I mean? And I and I tabled it a little bit with my sister. I need to table it with my father because you know, it's a lot, you know. I mean, like somebody was discussing with you know, some of your colleagues, journalistic colleagues, you know, when you are when we are quote unquote public figures, like your healing has to happen.
Publicly, does it?
No? No, no, that's a question mark. Now, the question mark that doesn't happen publicly, you don't like, Like, that's.
Why I was wondering why you chose to reveal that right now, because you have so much other stuff happening.
Yeah, yeah, well in.
Bringing your dad into and I have to cut you off. But I thought it was I thought it was very vulnerable of you. But I don't know if I would have had the courage to do that right now in your life because you're moving past so much stuff because you you you not blame your dad, but you if your dad was there, you felt like you would have been protected. And that's heavy for everybody in the situation, your mom and your mama. You said, your mom apologized to you after that for not being there to protect you. So it's heavy for everybody. And then it just stirs up so much more stuff.
Well here's things. You don't stir it up, Something's gonna happen, you know what I mean, Like like I it had to be done right.
It's funny because in the in the interview we were talking and because of the work that I was doing, you know, quote unquote behind the scenes when we got there. It's just I had been talking about it, you know, and with my family, with with with Megan. I've been talking about it with my my counselors, you know, and my therapist. You know, it was there and it would have been inauthentic in that moment, you know, I mean, for me not to touch it, you know what I mean, I.
Would have done myself a disservice, you know what I mean. And was it brave or this or this or this. No, I don't.
I don't see it that way, you know. I saw it as when your pain outweighs no, when your needs for healing, your needs for healing outweighs your pain, right, you will heal.
Right.
And in that moment, the healing was right there, the pain was right here, right, but the need to heal was greater. And I said, I gotta I gotta say this, you know what I mean. We talked about fans.
We talked about people who people who just.
Admire someone right, admire me, Holy, if you're gonna do that all of me, you know what I mean, I'm not afraid to show it to you. Hate me, right, but hate all of me? You know, I'm not playing that game.
But a fan can't do that because he doesn't know he or she doesn't know you in your whole totality.
They only know what but they think they do, they think they do and and and there's no gimmick. I don't want to if there's a fan of mine who's experienced anything that I've experienced in my life. Right, my job is my missions as an actor and artist and a human being is to like, let me help you, let me help you carry your cross. Right, that's what you guys are doing for me right now. You are helping me bear my cross. Right, And got that from my brother Will right as well as what's all about job? Our job is only to help someone bear their cross. We can't bear it for them, but we can be there for them.
Right. He said that to me. I went, oh, I understand that. So if you're a fan, right, if.
You know me and you've experienced something like that, and you see that, Okay, this has happened to him, and this has happened to me, and he's doing this, it's not impossible. A lot of a lot of the comeback, a lot of the rebirth feels impossible because nobody has ever attempted it before. You know what I mean. No one's ever had the allies. I don't want to get you in trouble, but no one's ever gotten the allies with the friends, the support or the you know, I want to demonstrate that, you know what I mean.
But you see, here's the thing. You don't throw your people away like you don't. You don't you don't look at the person to say, man, I'm not I'm gonna reduce them to their worst moment. Like I knew you before this. We worked on the project together Audible.
It apparently in the finals for some.
They got nominated for an AUDI for Best Drama. But it's just like, Okay, he had a situation. Listen, we assessed the situation. We look at the situation, we see who the situation is.
Is he not? Is he not?
He?
Is he not above redemption? And the redemption isn't for everybody? Like we always have to talk about cancel culture, but what about redemption culture? You just cast him to the side, say him for the rest of his life. Nah, I don't agree with that.
Well, obviously you don't.
I saw you running down the screen from a white woman. I saw it running from running for his life from Okay. All the training you needed to do for Free three was in that moment. Listen. There was a movie.
I don't know if you I saw it.
It was a movie.
It's called The Actor Who Got Chased Around the City. And yes, it was laughing because we on two B too.
Now I know what you talk about.
Go ahead, Okay, So this is a movie. The director brilliant, Alvin Gray. I don't know if you've seen. It's a good movie. It's called The Actor who was Chased around the City. He actually was gonna name it the Actor who was Chased around the City by the white woman, but he choose to Yeah, it was too long.
You need to watch it and it's good.
Yes, you know, might trigger you or not because no, no, no, because the redemption for him is in the movie and I just gave it away.
But you need to watch it.
Yes, from Baltimore, he makes films based on controversial I'm sorry, it's just a real movie.
To be that gid. It's a real movie. Yes, yes, she said, you gotta rap you. I really got two more questions. You know. I want people to go watch Magazine Dreams and when you're.
Watching it, I wondered if Killian's character is so frightening because of how real it is, because we all know men, especially black men, who suffer from untreated mental health issues, and with him being so obsessed with bodybuilding a way just to run from his trauma.
Yeap it so.
It covers it, right, It covers it, but it also releases it right. But there is the there is so much there that he can't he can't get out so he's searching for validation.
Right.
I wonder what would happen to Killian if if someone just wow, if someone just spotted him. Hm, if someone just saw this man lifted all this way and came and helped him lift it, maybe that would change everything, you know what I mean. Maybe there wouldn't be a Killian Maddox had he had some type of connection, some type of love, you know what I mean, Like.
He's brought that. The whole movie, in.
A way, is about the acknowledgment of his trauma, right, him trying to work through it, the trials and tribulations of that right, and and how how he ultimately deals with it. Right not to give to not to give anything?
Right?
That was pretty pretty esoteric, but you understand what I mean.
Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah.
And there's a scene in the movie where he says I'm just tired. I'm just tired and I'm sick. And I wondered if he meant that physically or mentally or both. And I also wondered, this would be my final question, how that line applies to you, being that you've dealt with so much publicly, because you know you're promoting the movie so you can put on the brave phase and you just got married, so you know you're happy and in this moment, but I'm sure you had to get mostly exhausted throughout this process.
Well, here's a moment of the subconscious coming to the screen that that line, I'm tired, I'm tired. I'm tired. It's not in the script. Yeah, it's not in the script. I'm sick is in the script, but I'm tired, it's not, you know.
So I was.
So clear to me looking back now where my work. My work was trying to signal to me, this is where you're at, This is where you're at.
You know, how does that come out? I'm tired, I'm tired.
You know?
And I was, you know, I was a part of me, not not the part that makes art or any of that part, but the important part, you know, the self was extremely tired. You know, you work hard, you do that. But yeah, it's not it's not a matter of to put out you know what I mean. I could put out. I could do it, you know, and enjoyed it. But there's other part is being so neglected, you know. And because of the nature of the film, I try to shoot every film like a documentary. I take extremely serious, you know, extremely areas, you know, but I do. And because of that, there's a small there's a small moment where usually it's lines that I'll say there are marriage between myself and the character, and that was one of them, you know. So, yeah, I was tired, man, and killing was tired. But oh I was tired that that part of me that just you know, felt all that and didn't process any of that. A nine year old boy can't hold can't hold that shit, you know what I mean. Yeah, thirty five year old man can't hold it either, you know. So, yeah, man, you watched the hell of that movie.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Man, listen, keep doing the work, my brother, Magazine Dreams is in theaters right now. Go see it. Go check it out. I can't wait to see all the think pieces in the conversation. Oh bro, yeah, you know, and remember, redemption is not perfection, my brother.
Good to see you. Man. If Jonathan Major, it's the Breakfast Club, wake that ass up in the morning.
Breakfast Club
