In this episode of Marriage Unhindered, Doug Hinderer and his daughter Monica talk about a super-relatable struggle for married couples: Christmas family drama, specifically when Mom wants you home on Christmas Day no matter what.

 

Here’s the setup: A listener wrote in about her yearly guilt trip from Mom over missing Christmas Day at her parents’ house. Mom feels neglected, but the listener prioritizes her own family (as she should) and sticks to a different tradition. Mom has some enmeshment issues, struggles in her own marriage, and doesn’t approve of the listener’s husband’s playful banter. Ouch.

 

Key Takeaways: How to Handle the Christmas Tug-of-War

 

Your New Family Comes First 

 

Doug and Monica emphasize that your marriage is your #1 priority.

 

Scriptural mic drop: “A man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife.” Wives, the same applies to you. Build your family.

 

Mom’s Emotions Are Not Your Responsibility 🧘‍♀️

 

This is what Doug and Monica call enmeshment: blurred boundaries where a parent depends on their adult child for emotional fulfillment.

 

Monica's wisdom: “Mom’s disappointment is hers, not yours to fix.” You can be empathetic, but you’re not responsible for solving her feelings.

 

How to Have That Conversation 📝

 

If Mom’s pressure feels overwhelming, write a heartfelt letter or have a loving, calm talk.

 

Doug recommends you say something like:

 

“Mom, I love you so much, and it’s important to me that you know this decision isn’t about loving you less. I need to prioritize my husband and kids as we build our own traditions. I want to see you, but Christmas Day might not always work. Let’s make a plan to connect another time that’s special for all of us.”

 

Stick to your boundaries but keep the tone kind and respectful.

 

Holidays Don’t Have to Be ONE Day 🎉

 

The magic of Christmas isn’t tied to December 25th. Celebrate before or after: what matters is making the time meaningful, not when it happens.

 

Real Talk for Married Folks

 

This isn’t just about Christmas: it’s about setting healthy boundaries in marriage.

 

As Monica puts it: Operate with charity and respect but remember: you can’t control how others react.

 

💡 Bottom Line: Handle conflict with love, keep your peace, and remind yourself (and Mom): You’re not ruining Christmas: you’re building a beautiful life. 🎁✨

 

Check out the whole hour here!

 

The best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It’s free, and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out here.

In this episode of Marriage Unhindered, Doug Hinderer and his daughter Monica talk about a super-relatable struggle for married couples:&nbsp;Christmas family drama, specifically when Mom wants you home on Christmas Day no matter what.
&nbsp;
Here&rsquo;s the setup: A listener wrote in about her yearly guilt trip from Mom over missing Christmas Day at her parents&rsquo; house. Mom feels neglected, but the listener prioritizes her own family (as she should) and sticks to a different tradition. Mom has some enmeshment issues, struggles in her own marriage, and doesn&rsquo;t approve of the listener&rsquo;s husband&rsquo;s playful banter. Ouch.
&nbsp;
Key Takeaways: How to Handle the Christmas Tug-of-War
&nbsp;
Your New Family Comes First&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Doug and Monica emphasize that your marriage is your #1 priority.
&nbsp;
Scriptural mic drop:&nbsp;&ldquo;A man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife.&rdquo; Wives, the same applies to you. Build your family.
&nbsp;
Mom&rsquo;s Emotions Are Not Your Responsibility 🧘&zwj;♀️
&nbsp;
This is what Doug and Monica call enmeshment: blurred boundaries where a parent depends on their adult child for emotional fulfillment.
&nbsp;
Monica's wisdom: &ldquo;Mom&rsquo;s disappointment is hers, not yours to fix.&rdquo; You can be empathetic, but you&rsquo;re not responsible for solving her feelings.
&nbsp;
How to Have That Conversation 📝
&nbsp;
If Mom&rsquo;s pressure feels overwhelming, write a heartfelt letter or have a loving, calm talk.
&nbsp;
Doug recommends you say something like:
&nbsp;
<blockquote>
&ldquo;Mom, I love you so much, and it&rsquo;s important to me that you know this decision isn&rsquo;t about loving you less. I need to prioritize my husband and kids as we build our own traditions. I want to see you, but Christmas Day might not always work. Let&rsquo;s make a plan to connect another time that&rsquo;s special for all of us.&rdquo;
&nbsp;
</blockquote>
Stick to your boundaries but keep the tone kind and respectful.
&nbsp;
Holidays Don&rsquo;t Have to Be ONE Day 🎉
&nbsp;
The magic of Christmas isn&rsquo;t tied to December 25th. Celebrate before or after: what matters is making the time meaningful, not when it happens.
&nbsp;
Real Talk for Married Folks
&nbsp;
This isn&rsquo;t just about Christmas: it&rsquo;s about setting healthy boundaries in marriage.
&nbsp;
As Monica puts it: Operate with charity and respect but remember: you can&rsquo;t control how others react.
&nbsp;
💡 Bottom Line: Handle conflict with love, keep your peace, and remind yourself (and Mom): You&rsquo;re not ruining Christmas: you&rsquo;re building a beautiful life. 🎁✨
&nbsp;
Check out the whole hour <a href="https://relevantradio.com/2024/12/the-value-of-positive-affirmation/">here</a>!
&nbsp;
The&nbsp;best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It&rsquo;s free, and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out <a href="https://relevantradio.com/listen/get-the-app/">here</a>.

Life can get busy, and it's easy to miss out on the captivating moments from your favorite Relevant Radio shows. But now, we've got you covered! "The Best of the Week - Relevant Radio Podcast" brings you the crème de la crème of Relevant Radio's programming. We carefully curate and compile the most engaging and relevant content from the past week, just for you! Get ready to catch up on faith, culture, current events, and personal growth, all in one convenient and easily accessible podcast. It's like having a front-row seat to the most compelling moments from Relevant Radio's diverse range of shows. So, whether you're an active Relevant Radio listener or new to our programming, "The Best of the Week - Relevant Radio Podcast" is your passport to a world of knowledge, growth, and inspiration.

Life can get busy, and it's easy to miss out on the captivating moments from your favorite Relevant Radio shows. But now, we've got you covered! "The Best of the Week - Relevant Radio Podcast" brings you the crème de la crème of Relevant Radio's programming. We carefully curate and compile the most engaging and relevant content from the past week, just for you! Get ready to catch up on faith, culture, current events, and personal growth, all in one convenient and easily accessible podcast. It's like having a front-row seat to the most compelling moments from Relevant Radio's diverse range of shows. So, whether you're an active Relevant Radio listener or new to our programming, "The Best of the Week - Relevant Radio Podcast" is your passport to a world of knowledge, growth, and inspiration.

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