Ash is back with pickleball, bad breath experts, robot love, mould doctor and which of Ash's celebrity friends is blocked from SEN.
To hear the longer episode and the full adult movie awards report go to patreon.com/AshWilliamsShow
Yes, and welcome back to the Ash william Show. My name is Ash Williams and I am still warming up.
How the fuck are you? I hope you're well. It's Saturday morning here in Melbourne, Australia, and sorry the podcast is late.
I was playing in the pickleball tournament yesterday, a mixed doubles.
And it went all day and all night.
No sex involved, no drinking involved, but there was some dinking. So yeah, that's what I've been doing. It's a big pickleball weekend. I've got men's doubles today. Of course there'll be sex involved there, and men's singles tomorrow.
There will be sex involved there. But no, I'm.
Trying to turn pro in pickleball and this is a big week because there's a draft next Thursday, I think it is. We've had the NBA draft, now it's time for the NPOL draft, the National Pickleball League. Rumors are I'll go early. They've already spoken to my mum, so.
We'll see.
Put it this way, if I don't get picked up, I won't be playing as much pickleball. And even if I get drafted, I don't think I'll be getting on the court as much that picking up.
I got picked up in the draft. I also picked up.
You know what's funny, You know when you meet p ball and you this is kind of off a Seinfeld episode, but like the start of your friendship, you handshake and then you might progress to pumping fists.
Right, this is a guy and a girl.
Yesterday I progressed with a friend to the kiss on the cheek.
Yeah, yeah, big big step for us.
And I actually don't know if she's got a boyfriend, but yeah, anyway, because I saw her with a guy and she didn't introduce him as her boyfriend, I played I'm putting most of this on Patreon actually because I'm gonna have a swing here.
I played with this.
Remember I told you last week about this fifty year old woman who's trying to pick me up, or I was. I'm sure if she was flirting with me, but she's definitely flirting with me.
Like she keeps you know.
I was putting some DPT on my back and the way the way I was positioned, it looked like I was sticking dpete up my ass and she said, what are you doing? Do you need a hand with that? And I said, no, I'm good. She said, I'd love to give you a hand with that. It was the way she said it. She wasn't joking. This was not a fucking joke.
And she kind of kept wanting to give me a rub.
I mean, if a guy did this, honestly, just say you're sure you don't need to rub, if a guy just kept loitering around a woman going, you're sure you don't need a rub? I mean really, And so I'm going to know I'm good for the like third or fourth time.
I said no, No, I'm good. I can rub myself. Uh.
Anyway, we are talking a lot about pickaball. What else I've been up to this week? My niece, my three year old niece. I had to babysit her, and what was great about that is that she ended up babysitting me. We do a game where she pretends to be a teacher and so she sits at the front of the class and she takes roll call, and then usually we do coloring.
I'm the student, I'm the student. And this one day.
This week we did reading, which was great because I had a book on me and so I was reading my book. I put my book down for a second to look at my phone, and my niece said, no looking at your phone.
If you look at your phone again, i'll take it off you.
And so I went back to my book and I realized that this is what I need in my life. I need a permanent babysitter to make sure I'm not on my phone. I mean, the shit that we fucking watch on our phone. We're fully like incapacitated. The phone is getting so powerful. There's this new app, or not a new app, but there's a new function on this app called captions, and you can get an AI and it looks like a real person, a woman or guy to say whatever you want. And the video looks real, and I can't get it off my phone unless I pay to upgrade my membership because that is on a special tier.
I mean it's like forty five bucks a month. But I don't know.
Man, We're gonna have AI and robots in our life real soon, and sooner or later. Having a robot.
As a girlfriend will not be frowned upon, will it.
It would be lovely. They'll be so realistic. Everyone's going to be in love. No one will be fucking single ever again if they can get the robots so realistic they will in one hundred years, the robots will be so realistic that people won't know who's dating a robot and who's dating a human. Imagine if we get to the point where dating a human is weird and everyone's hooking up with robots. Fuck, I reckon it will happen. Yeah, why wouldn't it. I don't know.
Hey, speaking of robots, I was driving past.
A van the other day in Melbourne and I was overtaking it and on the back of the van it said doctor in huge writing, and I thought, that's weird.
A doctor doesn't usually drive a mini van.
And then in smaller writing above the doctor said mold doctor, m o uld mold doctor.
And I thought, isn't that a real stretch?
Did you have to go to medical school to become a mold doctor?
Sir?
Like could you imagine? Like it just got me thinking. Like a girl is hanging out with her with her girlfriends and they're like, how's that guy you're seeing? And she's like, oh, really good, he's a doctor. Oh very nice. Bill's on him and she's like, sure is And then her girlfriend say what kind of a doctor is here? And she's like, oh, I don't know that. Actually I've never actually asked him. I just know he's a doctor. And they're like, you better ask him, girl, I've turned America, now you better ask him.
Girl.
You know he could be a pediatrist. They're like, yeah, imagine that he's a pediatrist. And then she goes, oh, honey, by the way, what kind of a doctor are you? And he says, I'm a mold doctor. Is this one?
Yeah? You know the mold, the mold.
In your bathroom, around your house, the fungus. Yeah, yeah, all that disgusting, like it the shit that needs to be cleaned.
I do that, but I'm a doctor. M m yeah, the mold doctor. She's like, hm hmm, let me.
Clean your pipes, let me clean the mold off your I'm guessing that that dude when he tells women that he's a mold doctor, that all of his private parts are getting moldier by the second.
Surely, surely he doesn't get much action with that said.
It was a nice van. It was a nice There's something nice about a company vehicle.
Vehicle.
We're bouncing around today because I've got to go to another pickleball tournament.
But just the word vehicle right.
Do you ever see those people who say vehicle in a really obnoxious or pretentious way? So SCN in Melbourne. It's a sports radio station. He says veh cale v a call, so he hits the age veh cale. You can go and get a BMW video call.
Mane. I don't know about it, eh.
I reckon, just hit vehicle right, vehicle vile. And you know I'm looking this up. That is the podcast. I hope you've enjoyed it. For anything extra Patreon dot com Forward slash ash Williams Show. I'm gonna have a good time editing out some of this stuff to put on the iTunes version.
But if you want to hear the the.
Un't editors unadulterated. I think that's the right word. Version of this Patreon dot com Forward Slash ash Williams Show five dollars a month and I will send you my nudes in audio version. I hope you have a wonderful Saturday, a wonderful Sunday, and a wonderful life for that matter. This is it, As Michael Jackson said, this is it the final tour.
Peace. I've tried to talk until the end.
Peace, Love, happiness, and a warm hug from me to you.
Take care, Bubba,